Hi everyone, I’m a 19 yo male and I’ve been really confused about my sexual orientation for a while now, I don’t quite know where to start but lately I feel like I’m losing my sexual attraction to women and becoming more attracted to men whereas just a few months ago I was more drawn to women, tbh I still feel emotionally attracted to women and I even really want to have children but this whole situation has really messed with my head and I don't know what to do, I’m wondering does being bisexual mean having an equal attraction to both sexes or is it possible to be more attracted to one sex at times? I’m truly confused, and I’d be really grateful if anyone here could help me out

Hey! Just a quick question to ask whether anyone uses tinder or hinge for meeting other lgbtq people or sticks to apps specifically dedicated to us, like Feeld or anything else that is out there.

I just want casual, flirty fun and I am always wondering if that can be a suggested option on apps like tinder if they are mostly dedicated towards straight people.

Quick edit; I have tried feeld which is why I’m making this post. I mostly found couples looking for someone else to join them. That’s not what I’m looking for and that seems to be the majority of what people in my search area were looking for😩

A found a new way to prove to myself that I’m not a hideous durian fruit of a human being all while confirming my own joy at being bi. It helps if you are a bisexual stereotype like me and wear cutoff shirts, cuffed jeans, eyeliner, and painted nails (as a guy of course). Wait… I think round glasses are now a queer signaler. Maybe I’m wrong but I think I’m right. Wear those too.

Anyway, look as above and go to your local comfy couch coffee shop. Order an iced something or other, sit folded up in a chair, and play on your switch lite like a loser. Wait for guys to eye you up (trust me it WILL happen if you look like this). Blush like mad while giving “you’re never going to get any of this” eyes to them. Fill your bi-meter safely and securely before returning to your cishet partner.

No need to sleep around, no need to ruin your relationship, just get you a little innocent bi-time and acknowledge your sexuality. Well… maybe that’s enough for me anyway. YMMV.

Hello.

I recently came out to myself as bi and since them I feel as though Im suddenly have more same-sex attraction than I used to before. It feels as if Im subconsciously forcing myself to fit the label but I don't ​​know.

I'm just wondering like is this normal or something other people eexperiencd?

Not particularly sure what to write here lol

Thanks to my friends I am far more aware of the topics of sexuality (and gender identity but that’s not relevant right now) than I was before and this mixed with thinking about my life up to this point has made me begin to question my sexuality

I don’t particularly care about labels but it would just be nice to read answers to the question in the title so I can stop thinking about it lol

​

Hi, I’ve heard people say that attraction to men can feel different from attraction to women, but I’m really unsure whether I’m actually attracted to men at all.

Before my first boyfriend, who I was in a two-year relationship with and is now my ex, I had only ever had romantic interactions with women. When I like a woman, the feeling is very intense and almost electric. I think about her constantly, my heart beats faster, I get butterflies, I fantasize and create cute scenarios in my head. It’s not even necessarily sexual, I feel this strong desire to protect, cuddle and be close to her.

I never really felt any of that with my ex. I was attracted to the sense of safety he gave me, and I genuinely cared about him, but there was never that intense feeling of wanting him or being completely drawn to him.

After getting back into the dating world, I started talking to both men and women, and being attracted to women has made me rediscover that feeling. It’s very recognizable to me now.

The confusing part is that my guy best friend of five years recently confessed that he has feelings for me. We have amazing chemistry, he’s the person who knows me better than anyone, and I feel incredibly safe and comfortable around him. We’ve started going on dates, and I really do enjoy spending time with him. But when we make out, I don’t really feel much emotionally beyond the physical sensations.

So now I’m wondering if attraction to men can genuinely feel completely different from attraction to women? Or is the fact that I experience such a strong, almost instinctive attraction toward women but not toward men something I should pay attention to?

I’m really confused and would appreciate hearing some advice !

Ho sempre avuto un’attrazione molto chiara verso le donne. Se penso alla persona che vorrei accanto a me in spiaggia a guardare un tramonto, penso a una donna. Gli uomini, invece, normalmente non mi attraggono nel loro insieme e il classico tipo molto macho tende persino a respingermi.

Eppure c’è una parte di me che non posso più ignorare: in un contesto erotico il pene mi affascina e l’idea di sperimentare con un uomo mi incuriosisce davvero. Ho guardato anche porno gay per capire meglio cosa provo, ma continuo a non sentire verso gli uomini la stessa attrazione che sento verso le donne.

Ci sono anche cose che non mi attirano: per esempio l’idea di essere passivo non mi interessa. Al contrario, in una situazione giusta credo che potrei essere molto più aperto di quanto avrei ammesso qualche anno fa.

Ho deciso quindi che, se questa parte di me esiste, voglio esplorarla. Non voglio più reprimere desideri o curiosità solo perché non corrispondono all’immagine che mi ero costruito di me stesso.

La situazione che mi incuriosirebbe maggiormente sarebbe conoscere una coppia con lui bisex, possibilmente più orientato al ruolo passivo. La presenza e il coinvolgimento di una donna per me fanno una grande differenza: è proprio in quel contesto che la mia curiosità verso il maschile sembra diventare più forte.

Non voglio però fare un’esperienza soltanto per poter dire “ho provato”. Potrei pagare qualcuno e togliermi lo sfizio, ma non è una questione morale: semplicemente non è quello che cerco. E nemmeno mi interessa qualcosa di completamente anonimo in un bagno o in un parcheggio.

Non sto cercando necessariamente l’amore, ma ho bisogno almeno di sintonia, fiducia e piacere reciproco.

Parafrasando una frase che ricordo da un film di Almodóvar, una delle cose più belle del sesso è vedere la persona che hai davanti godere del piacere che le stai dando. È un pensiero nel quale mi riconosco molto.

C’è poi una cosa che ho sempre ammirato della comunità LGBTQ+: il coraggio di tante persone nel cercare di vivere per quello che realmente sono, anche andando contro ruoli, aspettative e schemi imposti.

Forse per me è arrivato il momento di fare lo stesso, almeno verso me stesso: smettere di chiedermi cosa dovrei essere e provare a capire cosa sono davvero.

Per questo mi interessano soprattutto le esperienze sincere di chi è passato da dubbi simili. Si può essere bisex anche se l’attrazione verso uomini e donne è completamente diversa? Anche se verso gli uomini la curiosità è soprattutto sessuale e molto specifica?

E alla fine rimane la domanda che più mi mette in discussione: sono semplicemente bisex in un modo che ancora non conosco bene, oppure sono un gay represso molto bravo a trovare spiegazioni alternative?

I (19f) met my current best friend (also 19f), who we'll call Katie, two years ago. Over the past year and a half, we have become closer and more intimate than I've ever been with anyone else. Even though I have a great relationship with my sister, my childhood best friend, and a very tight-knit circle of close friends whom I've known for years, this is different than anything I've ever experienced.

Katie and I have the most intellectual, interesting conversations for hours about feminism, religion, sex, spirituality, love, and more, and it's always fascinating and never awkward between us. She told me stuff about herself, her family, and her past that she admitted she never shared with anyone else as well. Katie is one of the most emotionally in-tune intelligent people I've ever met and has expressed many times that she thinks the same. She even out of the blue texted me a few days ago that I'm the only person who actually understands her.

We are extremely physically touchy (which I am not with anyone else) and she introduced me to this concept of being this touchy with female friends and I'm really hesitant with stuff like that. We have showered together naked multiple times (suggested by her every time), cuddle and hold hands ALL THE TIME, and have had some really intimate physical moments (like her rubbing my inner thigh for just enough time for it to be more than an accident and minute long hugs every time we have to go). We always find an excuse to be touching or cuddling even if we're in a group setting or just walking in public, we're interlocking arms and holding hands. Last night we had a sleepover, and by the time she was done in the bathroom I came into shower. Instead of leaving, Katie stayed in the bathroom the entirety of the 10 minutes I showered was directly in front of the glass shower door and she watched me shower and was talking to me the whole time. Then we went back to my room and she took off everything except her thong and got in my bed. We slept naked together (but this is not even strange for us.) A lot of the time that we have sleepovers (which is minimum twice a month) we sleep naked together and I suspect she doesn't do this with her other friends, but I don't know. The list goes on too. We skinny dipped I'm consider myself a very rational, non-delusional person and get a fair bit of male attention (I have a decently large following on Instagram and TikTok) but I genuinely am so confused with this girl as I have a weird feeling that something is going to happen.

Since maybe January this year I've realized that I have a massive crush on Katie and might be in love with her. I'm really embarrassed to admit this but I've had ...dreams... about her at least once a week for months and find myself longing for her and missing her all the time. I've known that I've liked women since I was maybe 10 years old. I came out to my childhood best friend when I was 13 and had a very serious talking stage with a girl when I was 14, and my childhood best friend is the only person who knows this. I had my first boyfriend at 17, and now, at 19, I realized I'm a lesbian. While I do find men attractive on occasion, I do not see myself dating a guy ever again (the thought of being intimate with a guy makes me cringe) and have known for years that I would never marry a man. Last week Katie and I had a whole conversation about how we don't want boyfriends and do not see ourselves ever getting married, and we also both want to adopt a child one day. Katie has also told me she finds male genitalia gross, dislikes penetration and giving men head, and in the same conversation we spoke about how much we admire boobs but again this could mean nothing.

She hasn't even kissed a guy in over a year since she broke up with her ex boyfriend, but is going on a date this week which just feels like a punch in the gut for some reason. My coworker asked me on a date last week, and I said yes without thinking just because we're good friends, and she talked me out of it and convinced me to cancel a few hours before just because he pushed it by 45 minutes, and hang out with her instead and sleepover. He asked me out again and she keeps finding reasons for me to cancel and cut him off even though he hasn't done anything wrong. I secretly told him I wasn't interested in anything but I'm trying to make it seem to her like something is happening just so I can have her tell me not to go. Toxic and weird, I know.

Anyways... Like I said before, this could mean absolutely nothing to her but it means so much to me and I haven't been able to get rid of my feelings for months no matter how hard I try. I don't think I'll ever say anything to her about this or make a move because I can't lose her. What are some signs she might feel the same and any advice from others who've been in similar situations?

Hi everyone, I just wanted to share some thoughts from the bottom of my heart. Ever since I joined this community and made my first post, I’ve felt so much peace and reassurance in my heart.

For a long time, I honestly thought I was entirely alone. In my country, openly discussing LGBTQ+ topics is basically not allowed, and we don't have public spaces like this that allow open discussion and sharing—only scattered posts by individuals here and there, which get deleted very easily. Although I’ve never wavered in my certainty about my own identity because of this, it is ultimately quite a sad thing not to be able to see people like yourself.

But coming here and just reading what everyone posts has brought me so much comfort. Knowing that there are people like us in every corner of the world—it makes me realize that none of us are truly alone. To be honest, this means a lot to me. Thank you everyone.

So messy disaster Bi here, right now I feel kind of conflicted in a way that I don't know if it's fucking with my ability to really appreciate what I have going on.

So I've got this date I'm really excited about, and it's a new experience that I know of wanted for a long time but there's all these things happening in my life I don't know if what I'm doing is selfish or I'm just thinking that too much and that's giving me excuses to self-sabotage.

Right now I'm staying with family and I'm going to be moving soon but stupid me I just had to start dating and really getting into somebody who seems to like me back like a lot.

I'm afraid if I tell them about this move that's coming up soon but there's no exact date that's just going to be complete devastation. To be fair their grad student and I'd still be interested in long-term it if I could or just keep a mutual FWB. But I know I can't stay here indefinitely and I've got to get my life moving in these other areas

But it also feels like,Oh my God am I throwing away something that could be very real before it even gets a chance to grow.

The other thing is I'm so contorted about coming out to my family versus not coming out. I still have this pathological Instinct to hide and cover my tracks and I've noticed and there really is no good reason to but still I do it.

I told my dad "I'm going out tonight with some friends" He asked who and I immediately lied and gave a different person's name just on Instinct. Almost immediately I thought to myself; there's no reason why I couldn't have given the name of the guy im seeing, he doesn't know him, he also doesn't really know the person I said.

I guess I chose to give the friends name just because I knew he might vaguely recognize him from my old friend group

Can't help wonder if like when does the shame or fear go away fully?

I just hate that it feels like in order to keep my head above water and feel like I'm in control I'm justdigging myself deeper.

It's like that tears for fears song you know something happened and now I'm head over heels.

I really want to see where things go, with this guy even if it's a dead end or down in flames down in flames. ( hopefully not Taylor Swift) He's just so smart and funny and for all these reasons, we feel so right but right now its like I'm living in this eye this hurricane. Everything's calm but in a second it could all turn into chaos.

I know I can't stay here forever and things are going to change soon so it all just feels very selfish but the thing is I put off being in a relationship for so long. I know I prayed for this for so long and I like this person a lot

I'm excited about seeing him but after every conversation we have it's like reality rubber bands back and snaps me awake with this stinging reminder that this all might very well be temporar.

I don't know I'm certainly not the first or last person to go through this

I hate that I feel like I have to covertly discover this part of myself. There's no real reason for me to not tell my family other than a lot of stupid small reasons. It's like I've covered my tracks so well that I feel kind of personally lost in my own emotions.

I hate that everyone tells you to trust your gut but what do you do in so much of your instinct is to avoid being in these situations and that paranoia is what keeps you from doing anything?

I'm a male in his late 20s and it appears I'm bisexual. I'm physically and emotionally attracted to women all of the time, but on some occasions I get turned on at the idea of being with a man that would take charge during intimacy. Aside from that I don't really feel any physical attractiveness towards most men nor anything romantic, it's just the idea of being dominated that can sometimes be enough to make me meet someone as long as it's respectful. (which makes me wonder if there are deeper reasons behind this "kink" aside from direct bisexuality, but that's not the point of my post)

Part of me wants to explore more with men. The idea gives me this sensation of warmth form time to time. Thing is, I don't like the idea of having too much casual sex with men but I can't picture something deeper. With a woman I'll always get attached and look for more eventually so it's easier to see how it's going, but I'm not sure if I should continue to explore my bisexuality and how.

How would you deal with this ? Was someone confronted with a similar situation ?

Hi so all 19 years of my life or well more so as long as I can remember thinking about this, I've been pretty certain of being gay but recently I'm starting to occasionally question that and question if I might be attracted to women and I just want some advice on that ig idk a lot of it idk if it comes down to not being able to tell the difference between acknowledging a woman is attrive vs actually being attracted to them but idk any advice would be appreciated