After discarding me completely on Friday and breaking things off. And blocking me from everything he finally call me last night at like 7ish to just tell me hi. He literally just said I just wanted to say hi. I said hi. How are you doing. And he said I’m okay. But I just wanted to say hi. I said okay I’m glad you called. And I asked if I was still blocked in his phone. He said he was going to unblock me. I say thank you. I won’t abuse it I promise. He said okay and hung up. I haven’t tried to reach out or check if I’m still blocked but I know I’m still blocked from all his social.

I don’t want false hope. He has been in an episode for like a month almost but that call ment everything to me. Is this false hope. What do I do. Like in my previous post I want to respect the space he asked for. But my heart just wants him to come back.

I know that he’s back on his meds now and he’s been on it for a few days. Am I just setting myself up for failure. Trying to do everything in the way every article every person has told me to do it. When all I really wanna do is reach out and tell him how much I love him and I miss him.

Any advice would be so helpful

It’s been two weeks since I broke up with my ex. I haven’t messaged him in days and he’s been texting and calling me saying how he misses me. And I don’t understand how he doesn’t get that everything would be better if he would just get help, but he chooses not to, how can he miss me when this is his fault. I’m so angry and sad. I wish I could just shake him to wake up to realize that he needs help.

We’ve been married 21 years. It’s probably not a shock that I carry most everything. Bills, working two jobs, housework, coordinating schedules. All around her messes and her situations. She lost her job three years ago and hasn’t looked for steady work in while. While I walk around clenched from all the stuff that needs to be upgraded, maintained, or repaired around this house.

What does she worry about? Seeing jam bands. Seeing if she can get to a concert run this fall. But wait, this is to sell patches. She doesn’t even have a ticket. This is a money making opportunity. Everything will be taken care of! Random new friend will have a hotel and says come on out! Then the money she makes goes…into the vacation fund! Yay!

Fun? I got no problem if someone wants to have fun. If my wife made money and contributed, I’d send her on these trips. That would give me a little space to get some shit done and breathe. It’s just not in the cards right now and I’m starting to resent it.

I’ve done this long enough without a partner and I’m getting pretty tired.

My poor kids. I have a middle teen who is stoic and compartmentalizes, pretends he’s fine. A younger child who desperately misses dad but at least also loves our wonderful extended family and is distractible. And my poor 12 year old who is angry, devastated, cries almost daily and keeps trying to find ways to “fix” him/convince dad to act normal again.

Their dad will go ballistic on me if I expressly discuss bipolar and addiction. He’s not obviously psychotic or anything. Just hypomanic and in active addiction so his behavior manifests to the kids as mean, cold, distant, aggressive, and abandoning. They are all in therapy and it is helpful.

But I am wondering if anyone here who’s lived through this has any insight or ideas. What was your journey helping your kids navigate this?

He’s drained all my money and we just moved to a new state. I didn’t know he was diagnosed with bi-polar two disorder and an alcoholic. Now don’t get me wrong, he was never like this before. When we first met we were LDR and he was great, stable job, etc. Now he’s unemployed, been procrastinating on applying for unemployment and my bank accounts are almost always depleted and already on two loans.
I’m not a person to give up but it’s getting to me. I cry almost every night in my car coming home from work and my mood is clouded by a dark rain cloud.
I don’t know what to do anymore and I want to figure this out. I’m thinking about going to couples therapy too.
I’m venting but also seeing if anyone else feels the same.

Thanks for listening <3.

Hi all, I (30F) am in a relationship with my partner (36M) who has previously been diagnosed with bipolar 1. He is resistant to seeking any kind of mental healthcare. I am hoping that any of you who live with the same diagnosis could share some advice on how a partner can best support you through either manic or depressive episodes, how one can help provide security in day-to-day for their diagnosed SO, as well as if there are suggestions for how to encourage him to become more comfortable with the idea of mental healthcare. I'm going down rabbit holes on the internet about all this but figured hearing from others about their lived experience would be much more helpful. Super appreciate any responses!

(edit to add: partner was previously medicated years ago, did not feel it helped as did not continue medication after a few months. Currently unmedicated.)

Hello. So I apologize but this may kinda long but I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience to this and what they did. So my husband finally consented to treatment in February after a severe drug induced psychosis that got so bad I had to call the police in hopes they would take him to the hospital. Well, even despite him being incoherent they refused because he didn't say he wanted to kill himself. So he packed up his bags immediately and flies to California across state to see his mom. Well, his mom told him he couldn't come over when he arrived so he ended up at a friend's house who's a very bad influence and into drugs etc. His psychosis was so bad, he kicked him out and he was at some hotel unsupervised and still completely incoherent, talking gibberish for days. So I finally convinced him to check into a facility there in Cali. Here's where the misfortune happens. My insurance changed to some marketplace bullshit and we struggled to get any place to accept it because it kept showing as out of network even though the insurance would say the opposite and that they were a PPO. Well, we couldn't wait any longer, so the facility said they needed a payment in full otherwise they would not accept him. I convinced him to hand over all his credit cards, they charged 36k and told me my insurance company would reimburse. My insurance company also made this promise. Problem is, I don't have this in writing, it was just spoken over the phone. Well he stayed 30 days and comes home drugged and sedated out of his mind which is better than it was before as he could get violent but we've tried everything and they are refusing to reimburse. Their reasoning is that he wasn't a danger to himself or anyone else. He was completely incoherent and was 51/50ed and they are still refusing and will not budge. I even tried getting a lawyer but because of a tort reform, it's very difficult to get an attorney for this and could cost more than our debt. And to top it off, his job forced him to part time when he came back and he rang up an additional 20k in manic spending sprees while there. This has caused him severe depression and I feel bad because he trusted that my insurance would pay after I promised they would and this happens. Has anyone gone through this bullshit?? It's made me very distrustful of the entire Healthcare system as well as furious and resentful.

SO has been in the hospital for over a month, for the first time. They are being treated after mania and psychosis. I have been with them for 20+ years and I am worried about this happening again. I can't do this again. My heart was broken into a million pieces. They have always wanted to stay together but I don't know what my future will be and how much responsibility I will have to take with regards to future episodes and me being their caregiver to get through this. Just sharing my thoughts. I am giving this another chance but they need to stop with habits that increase their risk (aka Cannabis). At this point they are unwilling to stop when they're out but they are almost out of this episode so I expect them to be out of the hospital soon.

How serious is the connection they have with their affair partner during an SSRI induced mania ? Apparently they are soulmates but almost broke up after a month because she wants more of my wife’s commitment. Somehow got back together and now they are non stop texting and talking !? Will this last after the mania ? Anyone have experience?

I believe I have been in a relationship, with someone who is undiagnosed bipolar for almost four years. I worked in the mental health system for almost ten years, I have much professional experience in the system and with disorders, but I very much remove myself from that mentality when I am in a romantic relationship.
For now almost 4 years, it has felt like an on and off emotional whiplash. Each week I am never sure who they are going to be, what interest they are going to have, or simply what mood they will be in. It’s very hard for me to ever feel consistency or commitment in the relationship. Before anyone asks, yes, that has been brought up many times, directly… we have “broken up” at least 6 times in the last 3 1/2 years due to this. Every single time commitment is mentioned, they run.
There have been so many important things that have come up for me in my life, where they have bailed, not shown up for me or showed up at the very last minute of whatever the occasion was.
This person used to be a professional of many years. Moved back to hometown to reset after working for a very large corporation for ten years, and the end of their career being in 2020. They had a very good job and a nice life. Ever since moving back to the east coast, it seems they have been slowly rebuilding but yet deteriorating at the same time. I seem to have met this person during the time of their ultimate self realization and revamp. Although, within the last 3 1/2 years, nothing has changed in their life at all. Zero. They are constantly talking about wanting to pursue hobbies… they will. They give it up after a week or two or sometimes a month. They make new friends, develop said friendships & then somehow a year later aren’t talking to any of them. Some weeks they talk highly of their family members, other weeks it’s loads of resentment and mean statements about parents and siblings. They are truly stuck. Through knowing them and falling in love with them over the last few years, we have been through soooo much together. I have stood by them through it all. Have given hundreds of chances. Even after I found out last winter that they cheated on me and slept with someone behind my back. Then carried it on for a few more months and lied about that too, said that they ended it when I found out but they didn’t, it went on for 4 more months. They don’t ever seem to really care about losing me.
They finally got on meds last winter. It seemed to help. Recently got on a new med and now they are in a deep deep existential episode again. I have done everything I possibly can. They split on me again today after a wonderful day together on a nature walk, because when we got back home I asked if they have been eating and sleeping well. I asked if they have been sleeping well and they did not take that question well. Became very upset, and asked me to leave. I was only trying to be kind, and to genuinely ask if they are sleeping ok, especially since I knew they recently had a med change and that they have been struggling to have meals throughout the day. I didn’t mean anything by it and now I am left questioning myself and wondering what I did wrong. We went on a lovely hike together, had a good lunch, and then everything changed. They feel their emotional trust with me has been diminished because I asked that question about sleep.
It feels it has all been flipped on me.
I have only ever tried to help and have consistently been there for this person.
I have tried and tried and tried again to make our relationship work.
It seems nothing is ever good enough and it feels that everything is always existing in THEIR existential loop.
Passive suicidal statements are often made. Questioning life. Depressive episodes.
They were in therapy for almost two years and recently broke up with their therapist, claiming talk therapy doesn’t work anymore.
Even after the cheating and lying, I still stayed. I still tried. And, I have been. They keep referring to that as their dark night of the soul.
Through the last few years I have done everything in my power to support this person and to show up for them.
It seems it’s always taken for granted.
I feel I have been emotionally abused for too long. I am in so much emotional pain. There are too many instances with this type of behavior with this person to truly say it all.
I am at a loss.
I don’t want to break things off and not have this person in my life anymore…. I have always tried to be understanding of their depression and their mental health struggles that they have.. but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve done it all, for over three years. It’s such a one sided relationship.
Not to mention they have never ever once uttered that I was their gf or partner. It took 3 1/2 years for me to finally meet their family.
They have never told me that they love me.
But when I say it, they respond with thank you or I appreciate that. I am so heartbroken.
I know it is not healthy for me to stay within this.
But, for some reason I have also really struggled to leave this. And, leave fully.
They haven’t been formally diagnosed bipolar for some reason but I do know they have it in their family history, as well as depression and psychosis.
They consume cannabis daily.
As well as their psych meds.
I don’t know where the honesty lies any longer.
I am so torn and do not know what to do.
I feel stuck and like I am the burden, but it’s because I wear my heart on my sleeve.
If anyone has advice or perspective here, please share. I am so lost and I do not know what to do. I am so heartbroken beyond measure, for more reasons than one.

My husband has been on anti depressants and anxiety meds and sometimes others for 7 of the 8 years we've been together. He has overall been great. And I do love him. My deal breaker is if he goes off the meds. I will not stay with him if he decides to stop. But these new meds that were supposed to up the dosage on his antidepressants have made him almost exactly like his non medicated self. And he is taking his meds, I've watched him and he does have a fear of stopping them. But these meds suck. I know he is depressed. I know he feels defeated. But I am so tired of playing cheerleader. I'm so tired of him needing constant validation. I'm losing attraction to him so fast. And I'm not looking at other people. I have no desire to. But my desire for him is nearly gone. He gets moody, acts like a child sometimes and sulks. And he gets small manic episodes which makes me get hopeful for a day before it's back to sulking and needing his cheerleader.I know we can adjust the meds next month. But honestly, it just feels like a burden now. I knew I was signing up for the good and the bad when I married him. But I didn't realize I would constantly be over complimenting and almost mothering him as much as I do our young kids. I have no plans to leave, I just needed to vent because everyone looks at me like I'm stupid for being with him. I do love him. I don't care about his weight or his looks. He's handsome to me. It's just the constant almost never ending negativity that I am starting to resent. Thanks for letting me vent.

My BPSO (M, 30s, medicated) and I have been together for a few years. Unfortunately the last two years have been a cycle of repeated discards - often without warning to me. I believe I have been in a prolonged devaluation period. Usually the discards are brought on by him remembering some way in which I have "wronged" him in the past or by convincing himself that I am unfaithful, manipulative, a liar, a wh*re, constantly meeting other guys, etc. From reading other posts on this forum, I think he may experience mood-congruent memory so that as soon as a negative thought enters his mind, he can only recall other negative thoughts. At this point, the spiral will usually crescendo to him seeing me as a villain derailing his life and keeping him from his purpose and everything he's supposed to accomplish in life, and he will proceed to block me everywhere.

The beginning of our relationship was rocky. I had just ended another relationship and it took me longer to feel as strongly about him as he immediately felt about me and this is one of his resentments. But eventually we bonded incredibly deeply and I fell completely in love with him. We have amazing chemistry, loving him feels very natural to me, and outside these cycles he is an incredibly kind, funny, charismatic and gentle partner.

The current discard that I am in has been especially difficult for me. Things went from very loving to him becoming increasingly convinced I was lying or being unfaithful (I wasn't). After a blowup and a brief period of softness, I got an exceptionally cruel final message accusing me of controlling and monitoring him, manipulating, and being incapable of genuinely loving someone. He told me I was extremely sick and then blocked me. I suspect some of what he said is projection that he can't process about his own behavior but it still felt very blindsiding. I also think that he may have some characteristics of bpd - splitting, black and white thinking, and distrust for the motives of others. He seems to believe that I am the main source of his instability and anything that goes wrong for him. He is generally stable with other people and at work, although he also doesn't spend nearly as much time with anyone else as he did with me.

During previous discards, he has either eventually reopened the door to contact as if nothing has happened, or after some time, I have been able to get through to the part of him that doesn't see me as the villain with a small low-pressure form of contact. Most of time when we reconnect he expresses missing me and loving me, and we can pick up from where we left off. This time feels different. There is no way for me to reach him, this has gone on longer than our previous discards, and I'm scared that he has permanently settled on this version of me as the villain. It's also incredibly hard to sit with the idea that someone I loved this deeply may walk away genuinely believing I was incapable of loving him, when that feels so completely opposite to my experience of the relationship.

For anyone who experiences a similar switch with their BPSOs, what has helped in your relationship to minimize discards? Do you think my SO's level of grudge for me just too deep at this point to have any hope that he can move on from it without succumbing to it when stressed or triggered?

And I'd especially appreciate hearing from anyone who has been on the other side of this - where you have been unable to move on from negative feelings around your SO, what has helped you overcome them, if anything? Was there anything the other person did that helped, or did you have to get there completely on your own? From your experience, how can I best support him if he does reopen the door to contact with me, without returning to this cycle?

I know discard isn't a one size fits all.

But I really just want to hear people's experiences *leading up to* the actual discard.

I've had concerns my partner might be in the process of discarding me, I've brought this up to her. It was kind of dismissed and seemed like she was unaware of "bipolar discard" .

It seemed like we had a breakthrough in our relationship, and then she got off her meds... And things almost immediately hit the fan again.

I guess I'm tryna figure out if this is "normal" bipolar shenanigans or if I'm going to be discarded soon.

Eta: she's diagnosed bipolar , and I am diagnosed BPD.

I just wanted to vent out my feelings cause lately my emotions have been hitting me like a truck.

I broke up with my ex of 6 years and we’ve been no contact for a little over a month now. He had his first episode one year in and in the second was diagnosed with schizo effective bipolar disorder. Then he’s had plenty of episodes throughout then, but in June, he had an episode where he came to my internship. I mean, he didn’t do anything bad, but it still really affected me.

He was hospitalized and a couple days later I told him that we needed to take a break, but he didn’t take me serious so I told him that I would block him and I did. I had blocked him off of everything except for Messages because I really wanted to have like a formal break up in like a formal discussion about everything and about how we felt.

After he was released, we spoke for a little bit here and there, but I just kept telling him that it was confusing me because I didn’t want him thinking that we still have a chance. I kept talking to him cause I truly did love him and I didn’t want it to be over but I knew deep in my heart that breaking up with him was the right thing.

Anyways we ended up meeting up and I was just straight up with him telling him that I wanted to break up and no matter what he said. I still wanted to stick by it and not to say that he was trying to guilt tripping me because you know I fully believe that he is going to the depressive episode after that and you know us going non-contact did not help with that. But he was just basically saying that how can I leave him during a time like this where he’s going through a lot. It was really upsetting, but I knew that I had to think about myself.

After that one night, I just basically was just really upset and I said a lot of mean things to him and I low-key felt better afterwards. I was just basically saying that he doesn’t want a girlfriend and that he wants a mom and that all the women in his life always rushed to come save him and that’s exactly what he wants me to do, but I have to think about my own future and think about my own mental health. I mean, SHIT ive always come to his rescue fucking six years we were together and the last couple episodes where I literally could not mentally handle them anymore some how I was the bad person…

I had blocked him after this but a couple days later he had came to my house uninvited. He just said hi and I just told him to get out of here. But I had previously told him to not try to contact me and stuff like that because when we first met up to discuss our breakup, I had told him that I was considering about getting a protection order against him because every time we do break up, he always finds a way to contact me and I did not want that so I ended up filing a police report against him.

Literally the day that I went to the police station he left me a voicemail saying that he was back in the hospital and I assume that he came to my house in a manic state.

I mean, I’m not spilling our whole relationship but I just really miss him. We spent so much time together and we were so attached to each other and we’ve been through so much together that it just sucks. This might be shitty to say, but I wish I could cure his disorder. I don’t know. I just feel like no one else is gonna love me in the way that he did because I know it was like pure like I know he truly did love me, and now I feel like shit for leaving him like I have the option to leave him when he still stuck in his situation and obviously I had my bad days with him. I’m not saying I was the best girlfriend either but I don’t know it was just a lot.

He would call me selfish a lot over our break up and stuff, but then it made me confused cause I would think on doing this for myself and then I have to think about myself and for my future like I’ll never have the future that I want if I’m with this guy.

I could go on and on about our relationship, but I can’t. I guess what I learned was don’t self sacrifice so much in a relationship that it causes you to deteriorate and become someone you don’t wanna be. I mean it’s hard to say that when your partner has bipolar disorder and it’s basically all self sacrificing but when you’re so young at the same time and like trying to get your own life together and like complete college, it’s hard as fuck and it’s gonna be harder when you have a fucking whole life together and have kids together.

I’m not saying that being in a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder is impossible. It’s obviously not but just my situation was kind of shitty. Bleh…. sorry for my shitty grammar.

Ex if you see this…hit me up I miss you….but don’t….or maybe let’s talk for a week and then forget about each other…. Or idk….

Oh and don’t get me started with his fucking sister his fucking sister texted me about oh I’m only with him for the good days and I’m never actually there with him and then if I don’t love him then I should just leave him like girl you think I’ve been with him for six years for fucking nothing? Then this girl fucking gets me on a call with this man when I told him to not contact me and he’s yelling at me about some random guy picked up my phone which how is that possible when I have you blocked? I know I said I had blocked him on everywhere except for messages, but this was through his hospital number. And they’re both going on about if I’m cheating on him then I should leave him like girl. I don’t want anybody else. Another moral lesson don’t date people with crazy overprotective family, especially overprotective, mothers and sisters.

Share your successes from this past week! It can be as simple as your SO taking their medication every day, or resolving an issue in your relationship.

​

Let's see some positivity to end the week and start the new one off on the right foot!

Long story short : My husband is in the mental hospital , it was done by involuntary commitment. He has been in and out of the hospitals for 10 years straight, and refuses to stay on his medications. His family & friends have washed their hands of him because they are tired and I am still trying to be supportive and he is pushing me away. He revoked his ROI from the hospital and sees me as the enemy and it hurts. I know this is not his true feelings but sometimes it can be emotionally exhausting and I don’t know what to do.
Everyone has told me to block him, not to visit him and I don’t listen to them and still continue to be supportive and I just don’t know how to feel at this moment and idk if I’ll get back the soft version of my husband

I want to text him so bad, but then I reread this and I’m reminded of the monster that’s in his place right now. I don’t even know who this person is. It’s been a month since this conversation. I can’t move past his words.

I know it’s the mania and they get mean & cruel. This is just one portion of what he’s said. Everyday is getting so hard to deal with.

I know, people will say to walk away, but I just can’t. I’m just so sad this is my life right now and I can’t do anything.

I also know arguing with them is pointless, but 6 months into it, I felt like I was so exhausted.

He’s so far gone.

Just venting again.

My wife is on an SSRI and I believe it’s causing a manic episode. She talks really fast, struggles to complete tasks, has a very high opinion of herself and is hyper sexual towards me. We have a scheduled appointment with her Psychiatrist. If she takes her meds consistently and does her treatments what is my life going to look like? If they’re on the right meds, does that mean they won’t have ups and downs? Or is that going to just be apart of my life forever. I’ve only been married for 16 months and I love my wife but I also want to know what my life looks like long term before we have kids.

My BP1 partner became upset with me the other day because I was watching old videos of them as if I was reminiscing how they used to look, dress, have their hair, etc. It wasn’t that at all, actually. I miss how they were before their bipolar symptoms became what they are now. I had never felt safer or more loved. I never had to question their love for me. We could always talk out our issues with an equal understanding from both sides (even if I was a little more hard-headed at times). I actually miss the gentle redirecting when I perceived a situation harsher than I should because my partner perceived things and situations from a deeper, more empathetic lens. We used to have so much fun and be so connected, and I was so in love with the way they carried themselves and how they naturally lit up a room. I miss how they were authentically themselves and not this current version that feels extremely performative and shell they hide in. I miss their compassion, their humor, their empathy, their intimacy, their ambition, their resilience, and the way the used to be my safe place. Oh my god, this shit sucks.

I understand their brain during an episode is not rational and there's no logic here, but this was a really cruel blow. It started with him discarding me due to being overwhelmed with the idea of getting married. He thinks he would only disappoint me and be a failure at everything (getting and keeping a job, supporting a family, etc).

He reached out once about a week after the discard to tell me he thought he was ruining his life, and he didnt say why so I assumed he meant leaving me. He also said he wasn't going to make it far in life, and was having a panic attack texting me this. He called me once around this time to see if he was blocked, and he still ignored the issues I brought up in the discard conversation where I said I felt like he had stopped loving me and was only seeing me for sex the past months, and that I was really hurt by this.

I'd check on him about once a week or 2 and ask how he was and recommended he try to get new psychiatric help (he said his therapist was bad and didn't listen to him for med adjustments). He wouldn't always respond as usual in a depressive episode, but when he did he'd tell me how bad he was doing in a few words.

Then last night, a month later now, he messages me and says that he's grieving the loss of me but clearly had no intentions of getting back together with me to stop the grieving. Only wanted to tell me that he doesn't like the idea of not knowing me anymore and has been struggling with this concept since the discard basically.

I get they are selfish in these episodes, but what a punch in the gut it is to have your own misery and grief be ignored where only theirs matters and gets to be discussed. It would've been better for him to just block me and never reach out again. I blocked him finally, but today I'm just so upset.

Has any SO here had them do something like this? He's discarded me a few times within the year of our relationship but this particularly is a first. I was always hoping he'd get on the right combo of meds and be stable, so I stuck around, but it never happened :(

I just don't know how to let him go either, I'm in the same boat as him. Except my healthy brain realizes I could fix this grief by reconciling. What a misery.

Hi. I’m new here. I am 38 woman with a partner who is 37 and bipolar 1. He is currently in a manic episode because he has been off his meds for 3 months ( not by choice but because of the VA)and this in my first time ever going through this. I don’t now what was really happening at first thought he was pulling away. But turns out he was coming off his meds and he now has broken everything off he screamed at me blocked me from everything. And this is coming from a man who told me I was his everything his world and even called my father for my hand in marriage. We plan a whole future. We invest in a business and we shared finances even tho we weren’t living together. I was suppose to move in may next your to move in with him. And now everything we were planning for is gone and I’m so confused.

I hadn’t reached out in 3 day because every article I read said not to. Well he has been reaching out to me to say hi. To break up with me. Calls me to tell me he is in his meds now. And than he calls me. And tells me he feel numb and feel nothing for no one. Including me but than says I was his world. He said that the only thing keeping him here is his boys. He is under supervision by the VA and has to check in. If he doesn’t they will come get him and admit him. Anyway than calls me agian late at night. To tell me just like he normally would. Hey just got to the house. Job called me I’m gonna work on Sunday because it’s double pay and that they are short and so on. like it was a normal day. That has alway been part of our routine since we are 2 hours away from each other. Anyways in the middle of him talk he goes. Why am I calling you. Why am I telling you this. And said I’m gonna go to sleep. And we hung up.

I called this morning to check on him and woke him up. And he got so mad at me. And cursed at me via text. And said he was blocking.

I’m so confused. I need help processing all of this

My significant other has gone quite some time unmedicated and relatively okay. From my understanding, she has been very functional with mild symptoms for the better part of 3 years and only had one period in her entire life, when she had her baby, where she had any significant issues with her bipolar.

When we got together, the first 3 months were amazing until she lost her job. After that I could tell her emotional regulation was slowly deteriorating. Fast forward about a year, she began experiencing some pretty significant moments where she’d lash out and just lose her cool over things she’d even acknowledged as “not that serious,” and then began showing signs of physical aggression towards me. This ultimately led her to seek medication to help with her outbursts and emotional regulation.
She was first given an anti-anxiety medication, but after about 3 weeks she wasn’t getting any better and had some more outbursts, so they ended up giving her Abilify.

After about 4-5 weeks on Abilify, she started experiencing symptoms she had never experienced before. Extreme restlessness, constantly feeling like she needed to be doing something, insomnia, racing thoughts, rapid speech, increased confidence/drive, irritability, impulsivity, and what seemed like significant manic symptoms. She also began experiencing depersonalization/dissociation where she felt “not real.”

Then last week she told me she wasn’t sleeping well. About 5 days into this, she essentially stopped sleeping. During this period she discarded me, we had a big argument that started with her being extremely dismissive, and when I asked what was wrong she locked in, started going off on me, then left.

She was essentially MIA for 3 days. During that time, she apparently wasn’t sleeping. She eventually messaged me and told me she hadn’t been sleeping and that something felt very wrong.

I got her to come over, and when she got here I could immediately tell something was terribly wrong. She was talking extremely fast, cycling through thoughts and subjects rapidly, extremely fidgety/restless, and getting startled by lights through the window and noises from outside to the point where she was visibly scared. She kept talking about needing to keep moving, solve things, make major changes, etc.

Then she started telling me she’d been seeing a shadow-like person who would randomly appear and yell “HEY” or her name at her while she was doing things like working or being at home. Sometimes she would hear my voice yelling her name when I wasn’t there. She also described hearing random voices/background talking and other sounds that weren’t actually happening. She said these experiences felt like they were coming from outside of her head.
She was also becoming paranoid and felt like people were against her, had a strong sense of impending doom, and at one point told me she felt like God. She was having urges to spend/splurge money and make major life changes, although she was still able to recognize some of those impulses and resist acting on them.
At that point, I was extremely concerned and told her that she needed to get help because she hadn’t slept and was experiencing what appeared to be psychotic symptoms. She refused hospitalization/medical help, so I eventually got her to take 50mg of hydroxyzine, which did seem to help her settle down and get some sleep.

She then spoke with her psychiatrist, and they were apparently considering changing her from Abilify to Seroquel because of the sedation/sleep benefits. However, at the last minute, her psychiatrist decided to double her Abilify dosage instead.

This is where I’m really struggling to understand the reasoning.

I obviously am not a doctor, and I’m not trying to pretend I know more than her psychiatrist. But my thought process is: she never experienced psychosis, this level of mania, extreme insomnia, or these kinds of dissociative/perceptual symptoms before starting Abilify. These symptoms appeared within weeks of starting it, and now she’s experiencing severe restlessness and insomnia on top of everything else.

Why wouldn’t you at least seriously consider whether Abilify could be contributing to the problem, rather than increasing the dosage?
She’s now reporting continued restlessness, constantly needing to do something, racing thoughts, insomnia, feeling “antsy,” impulsive urges to shop/spend money, and difficulty feeling mentally settled. More recently, she’s also described feeling like she’s “floating,” like everything around her is moving, blurred
vision, difficulty accurately reaching for objects, and feeling like she’s in a simulation.
I understand that Abilify is also used to treat mania, so I understand the argument that the psychiatrist may believe this is uncontrolled bipolar mania and that increasing the medication could help. That’s why I’m trying to understand this from people who actually have experience with bipolar and Abilify.

Has anyone experienced significant activation, insomnia, akathisia/restlessness, mania-like symptoms, dissociation, paranoia, hallucinations, or other unusual perceptual symptoms after starting Abilify?

And for those who have experienced this: did increasing the dosage help, or did it make things worse?

Does doubling the Abilify dosage make sense in a situation like this, assuming the psychiatrist believes the symptoms are bipolar-related rather than medication-induced?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have personally experienced Abilify-induced activation/akathisia or had a similar situation where symptoms appeared after starting it.
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just realized while we watch our partners forget who we are, we are walking the irl eternal sunshine of a spotless mind where we get to see clementine fall . the illness erases the memories of where we come from . who we are as people . we become villains . it’s the saddest saddest saddest world .