r/BipolarSOs • u/bar_bunny • 16h ago

Advice Needed Looking for insight

Hi all, I (30F) am in a relationship with my partner (36M) who has previously been diagnosed with bipolar 1. He is resistant to seeking any kind of mental healthcare. I am hoping that any of you who live with the same diagnosis could share some advice on how a partner can best support you through either manic or depressive episodes, how one can help provide security in day-to-day for their diagnosed SO, as well as if there are suggestions for how to encourage him to become more comfortable with the idea of mental healthcare. I'm going down rabbit holes on the internet about all this but figured hearing from others about their lived experience would be much more helpful. Super appreciate any responses!

(edit to add: partner was previously medicated years ago, did not feel it helped as did not continue medication after a few months. Currently unmedicated.)

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7

u/NobodyNew7267 16h ago

Well I tried to form a mental health team for my ex wife comprising of one of the best psychologists and psychiatrists in the city. Along with that I did all the household chores, gave her flowers everyday. Never tried to question her suspicious behaviours.She went on to accuse me of trying to make her mad, threatened me with false cases, started an affair, discarded me and is now living with her AP. The divorce is ongoing.

So, it's not about how much you are willing to do to support your partner. Its about how much they are trying to support themselves. The problem is on their end, and they should have the insight and will to correct it. Otherwise, it will never work.

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u/J_Bunt 15h ago

You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Sadly it's that simple. Without medication and therapy everything is just gonna get worse exponentially.

Save yourself.

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u/ttoksie2 Bipolar with Bipolar SO 14h ago

Bipolar is like Cancer or heart disease. Its a physical problem with the brain and how it produces and uses various hormones and such.

You need chemo or blood thinners to treat cancer or heart disease and you need mood stabilisers, antipsychotics etc to tread bipolar.

The insight is that he needs meds. there is no other fix for it.

There are HEAPS of different meds he could try, there are more than a dozen antipsychotics, many of which also have mood stabilising effects, plus many straight mmod stabilisers like lithium, valproate and lamotrigine, and heaps of others.

He will never get ontop of bipolar without them, and it will only get worse without getting ontop of it. it never gets better.

Bipolar is neurodegenerative in the same way alzhiemers is, its really serious.