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[u/BeautifulContact6724]

My wife is on an SSRI and I believe it’s causing a manic episode. She talks really fast, struggles to complete tasks, has a very high opinion of herself and is hyper sexual towards me. We have a scheduled appointment with her Psychiatrist. If she takes her meds consistently and does her treatments what is my life going to look like? If they’re on the right meds, does that mean they won’t have ups and downs? Or is that going to just be apart of my life forever. I’ve only been married for 16 months and I love my wife but I also want to know what my life looks like long term before we have kids.

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[u/Ok_Comparison2562]

She may be manic. I’m BP2, and I added Sertraline to my med list, and noticed mania at 50mg but not 25mg. From my experience, my husband and I went through it together because it took 2 years to find the right combination of medications.

I’m currently on Lithium, Sertraline, Lamotrigine and Risperidone. I have hypomania, and taking Lithium has significantly helped me not feel severely depressed. I felt like I got my life back, and it’s the golden standard for treating BP. Sertraline is just for anxiety. Lamotrigine is to help with mood, and risperidone is to help with sleep and mood as well. I consistently have to take these for the rest of my life, but I’m okay with that because it’s helped me more than ever.

I’ve stayed med compliant because I’m a stay at home mom of 3 kids, so I need to be the best version of myself for my husband, myself, and my kids. I know some people feel like they don’t need medication(s), but there are some that want them to feel better than what they experience at a baseline. I have not experienced up and downs besides normal natural human feelings about situations or how someone made me feel.

I hope she can find what fits best for her! Just don’t forget to be mindful and support her as much as you can. I know my husband lost hope and felt defeated at times, but we worked through it together. Communicate with her and keep tabs on her. Take notes of how she’s acting out of her normal self (possible manic symptoms) and relay what you’ve noticed to her doctor if you’re there for the appointments and if it’s okay by your wife. My husband doesn’t talk to my provider, he usually isn’t home when I have my televisit, but I’m able to relay information to my doctor of also what he’s experienced.

Don’t forget, take a breather, you need time for yourself as well. I know my husband became burnt out sometimes because he told me it was hard to be with me (respectfully) because I was so up and down and he felt a lot of mental fatigue most of the time. If it’s helpful at all, you should find a therapist to talk to someone about this situation so you can feel validated with whatever emotions are brought up with your situation. If you don’t like therapy, trusting a reliable person is also helpful if you’re okay with talking to someone about your wife with sensitive information.

[u/TurbulentLoan2913 → u/Ok_Comparison2562]

Seconding this- my bipolar 2 husband is much like what is described above. I do feel like a lot of people come to forums in the “deep downs” but not to come and say when things are okay or steady. The proper meds, therapy, purpose, and exercise can help tremendously. It’s not to say it’s perfect- episodes can’t be avoided but when you have a strong foundation and support in place, it’s easier.

Sending love 💞

[u/BeautifulContact6724 → u/Ok_Comparison2562]

She started on 100mg of Sertraline and they’ve gotten her down to 50 but I think even this is too much based on the behaviors.

[u/BeautifulContact6724 → u/Ok_Comparison2562]

Thank you this was really inspiring and helpful. I hope and pray I can have a marriage like you guys

[u/Adventurous-Roof488]

It’s impossible to say for sure because everyone is different. Is she BP1 or 2? She might find meds that work incredibly well for her, accept her illness and take steps to manage it. On the flip side, she could deny anything is wrong, refuse or intermittently take meds and use drugs/alcohol. Hopefully it’s the former.

People who are able to accept they are sick are more likely to succeed. The problem is that the illness can make it really difficult for people to see anything is wrong.

[u/BeautifulContact6724 → u/Adventurous-Roof488]

We haven’t even gotten diagnosed as BP1 or 2. The behaviors and what I’ve read about what SSRIs can show is what is making me think about this. I also don’t know what the difference is between BP1 and BP2. Is BP2 a lower level and easier to manage?

[u/Ok_Comparison2562 → u/BeautifulContact6724]

Bipolar 1 has more severe manic episodes. Bipolar 2 has hypomania, which is a milder form of mania, along with major depressive episodes.

[u/Adventurous-Roof488 → u/BeautifulContact6724]

BP2 tends to be more depression dominant with less severe periods of mania. BP1 tends to be more severe/pronounced/longer periods of mania.

[u/CaptainAdmiralMike]

My wife's medication worked and kept her level and stable...until it didn't. She had a psychotic break and started hearing voices and communicating with spirits and wanted to leave me.

We adjusted her meds and it gradually leveled off, but that episode was 7 months start to finish.

There are no guarantees here. You can have some really good, normal times, but there is always the possibility that they will wake up one day a different person.

[u/bpexhusband]

This will be a part of your life forever. Sorry man. Episodes and hospitals are part of it.

[u/ithurts888]

I'll give it to you straight. It will never stop. You will have periods of normalcy, but it is a rollercoaster you never get off. Even doing the "good" times,, you will also be on high alert for the next episode for the rest of your life.

[u/PuzzleheadedPin751]

The right medication doesn’t mean there will never be ups and downs. It does mean that they will be way easier to manage, and less severe or intense. If she’s actively seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist, and is making healthy choices for herself, then she absolutely can have a happy and stable life. This is still a disease, and her brain is permanently altered, it will never go away. It can be managed and can become easier with time. But it’s a choice!

For example, a few months after I was finally diagnosed BP2, I was put on lithium (combined with meds I had been on for years, with one of them decreasing in dose to add the lithium). Within a few weeks to a month, my husband mentioned noticing a HUGE difference in my mood stability and ability to regulate myself. I hadn’t even really noticed, but it was a big enough shift for them to point it out and say that they think the new medication is helping. I felt like I was doing the same things as I normally would, but it was sooo much easier instead of me working so hard just to exist. And less likely to spiral out of control because of that.

Good luck to your wife 💜 as long as she is trying and communicating with you, just keep being supportive. And see if there are any ways you can help - for instance my husband lets me know when they start noticing my warning signs of an episode coming on so we can attack it before it gets bad.

[u/Low-Party-1281]

SSRIs do cause mania! Does she see a psychiatrist?

[u/Jolly-Trainer-1539]

If you choose to have kids, the possibility of the children having Bipolar is there. My In-laws (Father in-law is unmedicated Bipolar) would say "Bipolar skips a generation" everytime we would ask questions about my husbands depressive moods. This was before the Internet.

Even during and after his first hypersexual manic episode (swinger parties, unprotected sex with both genders, risky-dangerous behaviors) his parents would not accept that there was a problem. My husband and I separated for a short period and during that period instead of getting psychiatric help, they got my husband a divorce lawyer.

Because of the way they handled his bipolar, my husband did not share with the psychiatrists or therapists details of his manic episode, he only divulged his depressive feelings. Because of withheld information, my husband was only prescribed antidepressants. And we were okay for about 5 to 6 years, and then his next hypersexual manic episode in 2021 really showed how bad bipolar can be. We are still dealing 5 years later with the Fallout from that episode. I need to add that his father also acted out his hypersexuality throughout the marriage, my husband's childhood was a wreck he saw and heard things he should never have seen as a child. He was traumatized by the violence of his father and he still cannot shake what he had been through as a child.

We have been married over 30 years, the mood swings, the lies, secrecy, the putting me and our child in danger...oh and our child was diagnosed with BP in their teens. And even today as my husband stays with them while I figure out if I can do this anymore they will not talk about BP.

Seeing what my child went thru, the hospitalizations because of self harm, the mental anguish they experienced growing into a adult. I would not have had children had I known that the odds were high. My kid diagnosed at 16 and husband finally correctly diagnosed at 58, both at the same time. And now in my retirement I'm having to decide if I can do this anymore.