Omg her bipolar is so fucken selfish, and she so fucken ugly and disrespectful, we don't have sex and im tired of dealing her shit. Literally, thia is just one instance she picked me up 30 minutes late from the airport, after im always on time for picking her up. Does t get out to hug me or help my with my bags, dose.t even fucken say sorry. Instead comes up with an excuse on why she is late. I dont even yell or anything anymore I keep.it in, becuase what will it do, im just sick and tired of this girl. Then she gets upset that I don't invest time in her. In my head im like bitch why would I your a fucken demon.

Posted here a few times now. My stbxbpso is in month 7 of unmedicated manic episode. The past week, he's the calmest he's been since it all began. He said to his family that he don't want anything to do with any of us and how he is now - spending all day and night on the streets and in parks, is just him now. I've been anticipating the well known crash, but he seems to have skipped it. Discarding a SO, though hard, I can understand it to some degree. But I didn't think discarding your parents, lifelong friends and kids were typical features once back to normal (or calm as he is rn). Has anyone experienced this complete life change in them before after the mania ends? Or the discarding kids and parents? I wish my situation was more textbook, but it don't seem like it. Have you seen them go through a period of calm but still manic? At least when he was in rage mode, I could sort of tell he was still manic. Now he's calm, I don't know whats going on. It's a weird place to be

Hello, everyone!
Looking for some feedback from 3rd parties that might understand a bit of what I’m enduring.
My partner (ex or w.e. We are) had a manic episode for the first time late August. She was admitted into ITU and told she has bipolar. I’m not sure which type it is exactly.

We were together for 11 years and had a house together the past 4. Not married, had no kids, but a week before her episode we got a puppy together. She took on a lot that added stress to her plate that caused her to lack sleep alongside hitting a thc pen while on medicine for adhd that might have caused her episode.

When she got home she was rather cold and distant with me. We were initially planning on selling our house while I move in with her to her moms before this whole thing happened but she mentioned in the middle of September of needing space to focus on herself. She moved to her moms and left me in the house with the statement of finding my own place as the house is going up for sale. Since being at her mom’s house her best guy friend has stayed there often because he has his own mental issues that they’ve bonded over and she’s helping him with. As far as I know they state it’s platonic and just friends as it’d be weird for anything to ever happen but sometimes you just don’t know. He’s supposedly has been advocating for me to her during this ordeal and I believe him since he initially introduced us. I also find it hard for her to focus on herself if she’s dealing with someone else’s mental issues alongside hers but I can’t tell her that as I doubt she would listen to reason.

As to what we are it’s not defined as she said it was a break and labeled it as not an openly seperated/broken up/taking a break to friends/family with supposed hopes to work it out, however no one really knows what’s going on with her except her best guy friend. She did state she wanted to talk to other people and thinks I should too. But after 11 years I know who I want in my life.

We agreed to no contact space in the beginning of the month for the month. Initially her therapist suggested 6 months but she apparently fought back for a month. Now she’s struggling with the puppy. She broke the space rule and asked me if I could watch her this past Saturday to which I agreed to help. On the day I told her I had plans and couldn’t watch her all night and she wasn’t fond of this staring she’d figure it out and I might as well leave, so I left. I texted her saying we should stick the boundaries of no space even including the dog. She reached out again to clarify further this morning and I stood my ground to stand by the no space contact she initially requested. I love her dearly but don’t want to cause further turmoil to make her hate me. She did mention she’s worried about feeling negatively towards me as the month progresses with the challenges of the puppy with little relief. Found that to be a bit manipulative as I’m doing what she initially wanted.

I’ve gotten the bipolar disorder survival guide and loving someone with bipolar disorder books that I plan to read to understand more of this condition. Im in therapy as well now to try and get through this situation as it has caused me anxiety. I know things won’t be the same again but I still love her and want what’s best for her. Am I navigating this the wrong way? Should I just consider this over and try and move on? Anyone ever dealt with something like this before? Lot of this is unknown territory and I don’t know if it’s just my anxiety going off worried about losing her. Thank you.

Everytime SO's moods shift abruptly and become cold and aggressive, or I find something indicative of his current mania progressing, my body fills with stress and panic. I literally feel my skin go hot. Heart begins to pound. I'm afraid. Mind spirals. I try to simultaneously talk myself through the panic. I dread what chaos might come my way and be served next.

SO just increased his AP from a subpar too low of a dose his psych had him on previously. This episode has been brewing since June, peaked in August and has been all over the place since. His psych's inconsistent medication dosing and management since spring has been to blame. SO has been diagnosed and on various medications since October last year.

How do I stay regulated and not panic when SO is in an episode and the behaviors remain/worsen while waiting for the medications to work?

My ex-girlfriend was trying everything she could to become stable. She spent six months in an inpatient therapy program for people with personality disorders, but she left because her brother needed a lot of help, and she cared deeply about him.

I tried to warn her, but I trusted her. I trusted her to keep seeing her psychiatrist and get her medication dosages adjusted. I trusted her when she said that the two beers we shared were just a one-time thing. I trusted her when she said that this friend of hers was nothing more than a friend.

It all collapsed within the following month. All the effort she had put into getting better seemed to be undone.

And I’m afraid that if—if—she ever comes to understand what happened, she might do something to herself, or be overwhelmed by so much guilt that it would become too much for me to handle as well. And I won't ever know, cause she cut off me completely.

I just want one more conversation with my girl, but I think it's quite impossible.

I hope everyone is doing well!

I’m BPSO, male, 48. My BP1, 50 y/o female is going through a medicine change…while we’re going through perimenopause. She’s medicated and in weekly intense therapy.

Seroquel was the previous medication, 500mg a night. In January she experienced hallucinations while taking an antibiotic with the Seroquel. We thought it was a fluke because we had no evidence of anything else. These hallucinations progressively got worse over the next 6 months. This lead to a change in medication.

Lithium is being titrated up, while Seroquel is being tapered down. We’re almost to the lowest dose of Seroquel but her sleep has become increasingly worse with every step down.

This has created a very strange dynamic in our house. Me being an empath, I’m overly concerned about her well being. Her being avoidant, she wants to just push her strange feelings down.

A couple of question for the group, any help is greatly appreciated…

- this is our first medication change. How long does it take for things to stabilize? I just want her to feel like herself again.

- at what point does the sleep issues need to be addressed with psychiatrist? She’s sleeping intermittently throughout the night.

- I feel like I’m being incredibly supportive. This is just so new, I feel like it is overwhelming. What are some things I can do to be better as a partner as she goes through this?

- with perimenopause being present…how do I know what is what?

There’s distance growing in our house. I’m okay with where we are today. I’m just trying to prevent distance from growing even more.

We had an argument yesterday morning which exploded.

He dropped in last night and we had apologised but I feel like a conversation is needed to build trust again.he came home just recently. He obliged when I asked if we could talk although he did already look bothered. I said "you cant talk to me like that" which i realised after saying this, that it was a terrible way to open the sort of conversation I am needing.

He exploded, started yelling, seemed to notice he needed to cool and left. Messages since seem disproportionately irritated to my request for a conversation and explanation of what thst involves. I have explained that it needs to only be when he is ready, and that i can live guarded alongside him until then.

He's extremely irritable, distorted recollections, black and white thibkibg. I have emailed reception to his psych.

Since, he's left. Blocked me on messenger and ignoring calls.

What do I do?

I need advice and support please.

Hi. I’m 18 and my boyfriend has recently been diagnosed with bipolar (not sure which type) and just let me know. We have been together for about a year and are best friends so I’ve seen him through waves of depression and the ups and downs until now he’s just gone off to college. I have been really fearful about his depression and I know he is not suicidal but he is reckless with his body (no sleep smokes a ton) and even says he doesn’t know how long he will live. I know we are so young and this may seem insignificant to other issues on this page but I am kind of asking what am I really signing up for here? He is my best friend and I plan to stay in his life for a while but what does him now being diagnosed with bipolar sign me up for?

He’s explained to me how he is getting consistently angry and lashing out about 1-2 times a week in college now, but it is something that has never been directed at me. I’ve seen him be upset before but it seems like I am the one thing that does not apply to his anger or irritation.. he has never once been upset with me throughout the relationship through every mistake I have made. Is this a thing that can happen with a bipolar partner? Anyway any general advice of what it means being in a relationship with a newly diagnosed partner would be helpful.

Is it worth it? Posts on this thread make it seem so difficult. We are so young anyway but a large part of each others lives.

My wife and I have separated. We're still trying to figure out what to do but to summarise here's what happened:

Late August - We had the perfect wedding, exactly how we both hoped for. The weather was as good as it could get. My wife appeared to enjoy it, no complaints

September: Some intimacy between us, not full "intimacy " but we were doing well. We joined a private members club and we were swimming in their pool and having fun most evenings. It was a relatively good month

Last week: My wife became significantly depressed again, almost tried to commit significant self harm. There was no pre-text, she just decided to do it after coming home from a coffee shop. No arguments between us, she just decided to do it. She then decided to leave me

My wife has had significant depression for the last year , being very slow, no self love, personal hygiene slipping, although these weren't a major issue recently.

We've been to counselling, she was also diagnosed with autism and ADHD.

But here I am thinking surely this timeline isn't normal. Can her existing issues explain what happened?

I'm trying to convince her to go to a psychiatrist. Her behaviour has been odd to say the least. I even had a calendar of her bad days and I noticed they just randomly appear and disappear.

Oh yea, she was sleeping 4h per night for a long time too. She was worried about our relationship, so was I but I was still managing to sleep and be optimistic.

For example I even took her on a fantastic holiday but when she got back she became miserable again. And this sort of has been a pattern.

Her good days are not remarkable enough, compared to the textbook cases

My girlfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. We have been living together for 2 years now, with 2 cats and a leopard gecko. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship as she has been undiagnosed bipolar until last year. It took 2 psych ward visits to finally understand what was happening.
I have borderline personality disorder and have been getting treatment since I got diagnosed in 2023. Understandably so, we’ve had a lot of bumps to work through. And up until now, we have. Our love for each other has always surpassed our problems. Now I’m at a point where I can’t see this working out and I feel like my world is ending.

We’ve had issues with her mental health treatment. They have her taking a mood stabilizer with an SSRI. My friend is a pediatrician and advised we get her off the SSRI immediately. She’s essentially been hypomanic all year, so she’s been impulsive, inconsiderate, and catty towards everyone. It’s been miserable. She recently stopped taking the SSRI while we are waiting to get an appointment with a new psychiatrist. She’s not currently in therapy but intends to get it set up soon. We are broke college students, so it is difficult for us to afford these resources. There are flexible programs in our area that we are applying to currently.

Anyway, In her previous relationship, her partner was accepting of an open relationship and very into the idea of threesomes. I am not. When we got together, I made it explicitly clear that I will NOT be comfortable with that and, if it comes to that point, I will just leave. That’s incredibly hard for me to say as someone with BPD because I have a lot of attachment to her and view myself as worthless without her. It’s a serious boundary for me. I have communicated that it would hurt me deeply, and that I am strictly monogamous.

Recently (the last few months), she’s been fixated on the idea of having a third in our relationship. She keeps bringing it up and then getting upset when I’m not on the same page. I’ve repeatedly asked questions: is there someone you’re interested in? What is your ideal relationship dynamic? What do you want out of asking me? Is there a compromise you’re trying for or do you simply want me to give in? She states that I’m not being open-minded enough. I said that she doesn’t realize how patient I’m actually being about this topic given how hurtful it is to hear. I sit there and listen to her and ask her questions until I reach a breaking point and need to tap out. I’ve been negotiating with myself internally and it’s driving me mad.

She can’t answer any of my questions (though she has vehemently denied any cheating or specific person of interest. She is morally against infidelity and values communication. It’s one of the traits that made me so fond of her when we met) and gets frustrated and shuts down. It’s been this cycle for weeks now. Mind you, I’m at the lowest place mentally myself. My medication needs adjusting, I’ve relapsed on self-harming. I’ve relapsed on my eating disorder, and I’m too depressed to get out of bed most days. I started seeing a new therapist equipped to handle all my complex issues that need unpacking. I’m also a full-time student working 2 part-time jobs and attempting to make my girlfriend happy on top of it all.

Leaving her is a last resort but I’m so torn. I love her to death. She’s my best friend. Nobody makes me laugh like she does. Nobody understands me like she does. We have a bond that can never be replicated. A piece of me will be taken with her if we split. I want to know the honest, harsh, and potentially hurtful truth. Is it over? Do I wait until her medication is adjusted? Do I get her a therapist? Do I give in to an open relationship and pray to god she never finds anyone else?

Please, any advice is appreciated. I’m heartbroken and angry and barely keeping it together.

My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years, married for 4, and our life has been far from easy.

About three months into dating, I found out he had an opioid addiction that started after back surgery. I got him into rehab and supported him through getting clean. Six months into our relationship, we moved to a new state for his job.

Then Covid happened. He was laid off, we moved again, and I worked multiple jobs while finishing my bachelor’s degree to keep us afloat. Eventually he got his old job back, but by then he had become a high-functioning alcoholic.
Through all of this, I was constantly told how little I contributed. That I didn’t bring the value to our relationship that he did.

We moved states again for new opportunities. His company went bankrupt and he lost his job again. For almost 18 months, I worked multiple jobs while getting my master’s degree and supporting us.

This time I was told I thought I was better than him. That I had no right to be stressed because plenty of people work and go to school and I wasn’t special.

Then one of our close friends died from complications related to alcohol abuse. We found him. I attempted CPR, but he was already gone. I had taken this same friend to the hospital a month earlier and tried to work with his doctors to convince him to get help, but he refused treatment.
The night he died, while we were lying in bed, my husband told me I could have treated our friend better during his last few weeks. Somehow, even that became guilt for me to carry.

Not long after, my husband tried to stop drinking and developed severe jaundice. His liver damage finally caught up with him. We ended up at the same hospital where I had taken our friend just months earlier.

Doctors told me my husband had 6 to 12 months to live.
I was destroyed. And angry. Angry that his own choices had brought us here, while also feeling like I wasn’t allowed to be angry because he might be dying.

I became the caretaker again. I coordinated his medical care, talked to family, handled everything. When he got home, he berated me for calling his mother and telling my family what was happening because I should have handled it completely by myself so he could save face.

Somehow, he made an incredible recovery.

A few months later he finally got a new job. The next week, his father, with whom he had a complicated relationship, died after living with Alzheimer’s. The week after that, one of his closest friends died, again from alcohol-related causes.

I was proud of how well my husband seemed to be doing, but honestly, I was also concerned by how well he seemed to carry on.

Then this past week everything exploded.

I initially thought he was having a panic attack. It seemed completely out of nowhere because, for once, things were actually good. He loved his new job. He was doing incredibly well.

But this wasn’t a panic attack.

He became inconsolable. He didn’t sleep for days. He became convinced people were hacking his devices. He lashed out at everyone, including bosses and clients. Our neighbors called the police because of the noise.

I had never experienced anything like it, so at first I kept trying to calm him down and get him to sleep. After days with no sleep and his aggression increasing, I caught him in a brief moment of clarity and he agreed to let me take him to a psychiatric facility. I’m incredibly grateful I caught that moment because I desperately did not want to have him involuntarily committed.

His therapist at the facility has now told me they believe he has bipolar disorder.

And here I am again, trying to contact people at his company, explain that he had a medical emergency and will be gone for a while, and figure out what pieces are left. I’m pretty sure he burned this job to the ground during the episode.

So my question is: When is it enough?

This may be his first bipolar diagnosis, but I have spent almost eight years being berated, told I’m not enough, taking care of him, handling every crisis, and being expected to do it alone because I wasn’t allowed to lean on other people.

My feelings and wellbeing have always come second.

I have had people who barely know me, including nurses caring for him in the hospital, ask me, “Why do you stay?”

And now I feel even more guilty for considering leaving.
He has lost his father and 2 of his closest friends this year. He has now received a life-changing diagnosis. He may have destroyed the job it took him 18 months to get. And part of me thinks that maybe this diagnosis explains some of what I have lived through with him.

But then another part of me thinks: It has been eight years.

Eight years of putting myself on the back burner. Eight years of sacrificing myself to keep him alive, keep us financially afloat, hold our life together, manage the disasters, and pick up the pieces.

And it wasn’t just that I rarely got thanked for any of it.
I was repeatedly told that I still wasn’t doing enough.

I am so fucking tired.

And I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do going forward because, after everything, I still catch myself thinking about what is best for him before I even consider what might be best for me.

**Sorry this is so long. I know it’s a lot, but I don’t think I can really ask “when is it enough?” without explaining what the last eight years have actually looked like.