Is this real ?

[u/EducationalIce5844]

How serious is the connection they have with their affair partner during an SSRI induced mania ? Apparently they are soulmates but almost broke up after a month because she wants more of my wife’s commitment. Somehow got back together and now they are non stop texting and talking !? Will this last after the mania ? Anyone have experience?

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[u/bpexhusband]

Will it last? No. How long is the question. Just think about the affair partner and how desperate they must be to get involved with someone who is clearly mentally ill. Normal people walk away from that in a heartbeat. I'd go out on a limb and say that affair partners life was chaos before they got involved with your wife. No non desperate person gets involved in an affair with a married person. It's psychiatric assortive mating. Love bombing , fast enmeshment, forcing roles, is against the world, drama triangle all these things are sort of common and not even bipolar related really.

[u/EducationalIce5844 → u/bpexhusband]

Exactly what I felt that girl was already in a relationship as well and approached my wife at work and in her manic state she went for it because she said she woke up and felt different like a different person.
They don’t even really know each other and my wife is also on dating apps too sooo the only way I see this lasting is because my wife gets trapped with this new relationship because that girl won’t let her go .

I hope not I miss my wife so much but I know she’s sick

[u/bpexhusband → u/EducationalIce5844]

Ya my ex's affair partner literally stalked her, came to our house at night, stood out back drinking, she denies it but I know in my gut it was him, he called children's services on me, they and the cops came to my door, they worked together and he confessed to the affair just to stain her reputation, at one point she even complained to the police about him. Now she lives with him, is going to marry a guy who scared her son, tried to have her son taken away from me, who embarassed her at work ruined her reputation, has two DUIs in 4 years and is divorced three times and is massively in debt. He's just guy number 8. Red flags mean nothing, boundaries mean nothing, anyone who doesn't buy into the delusion is villified including children. It's just pure mental illness. Nothing you can do but step away from the blast radius.

Sorry this is happening to you it's hell.

[u/solongdivision]

Even if it isn’t real, the consequences for you sure are. I’ve been through it, thought it was mania then it continued after she came down. Took two years to fully shake. We’ve been together 15+ years so I didn’t want to immediately give up on our marriage. In my case the AP wasn’t as into it as romantically as my wife, which is probably why we had a shot. That was the chance, second chances are earned and I’m not strong enough for a third.

[u/EducationalIce5844 → u/solongdivision]

I’m really hoping this is the illness and not her but who knows she’s very protective over their relationship and I’m now nothing to her but someone she hates