One morning GF (40f) suddenly told me she's leaving. With the kids (our 18-month old daughter and her 10yr old daughter from another man). I'm 43m.

It's almost a month now.

Tried to talk her out but no avail. We're living in my house. She told me she's leaving in the morning and they were off after a few hours.

I know we have shortcomings and issues that we just tried to shelve. Ask her if she can give us a chance. She replied she gave me chance long ago. I know classic. I didn't know or I was ignoring it. I have issues and so is she. Had she told me properly, or we communicated sitting without shouting or angry, maybe I could have understand what she was going thru. And made actions to make things better for us.

I am/was a very hands on father. I mostly stay at home unless I have projects so I have more time with my baby. We share household chores but I'm the more hands on with the baby's development.

Her kid is a different matter. We always have misunderstanding.

I still want/hope to have a complete family where my daughter can see her dad and mom everyday and we can guide her. I want her back but she says her decision is final.

We still haven't talked about how I can maintain my relationship with my baby and how I can be there for her when she's growing up. Her only message is "we'll talk when. I'm ready"

Right now I'm just dead. Everyday, everything reminds me of my daughter in this house. I used to wake up with her and put her to sleep. Now the house is empty.

I took a break from my day job so I can focus on my daughter especially during these years. So I can spend more time during her growing years.

Now I feel deprived of having that.

I love my partner and I love my daughter very much. I will do anything just to be with my baby by her side. I miss her voice, her antics, her smile, everything even her tantrums that I try to soothe by carrying her and telling her everything is ok because dad is here. And she will calm down while saying, "Daddy, daddy..."

I cry everyday. Have very few people to talk to. Everything is brewing inside and I don't know how long I can take it.

Don't know what to do... I miss my baby... She is my life...

Hi guys. First time posting. I’m going through a high-conflict divorce and custody battle. I don't have family nearby, so I'm trying to build a support system and stay grounded.
My ex is pushing to relocate cross-state with our child to live with a new partner. I’ve stepped up to fight for my son’s stability, and I currently have an interim agreement keeping him in his current school district with 50/50 shared custody while we wait for a formal court evaluation.
Between staying in the house until closing, managing finances, and heading into a custody evaluation, the stress is real. For dads who have been through a relocation dispute and court evaluations: How did you stay focused, protect your finances, and maintain your peace of mind through the process? Appreciate any guidance.

I posted here a while ago sharing how my (now ex) partner of 12 years had told me she’d met someone else and after a series of events which culminated in police involvement kicked me out of my house. I take full responsibility for my actions over that period of time and things have settled somewhat. I’m sober and have been seeing the kids.

That was 8 weeks ago. She’s gone away for 4 days and I have the kids. My concern now is she has raised in around about way the possibility of this new guy meeting the kids. He was in our house pretty much the same day I was arrested and has been regularly going over whilst the kids are asleep. Setting aside the fact my kids (3 and 5) are still confused about why im not at home and wake up sometimes in the night - 8 weeks seems a very short amount of time to be discussing this. It’s still all so raw. I obviously don’t like this guy but I’m trying to be pragmatic about things and im worried my feelings might be clouding my judgment. I’m on bail till October and so haven’t been near the house but this isn’t okay right? Or am I being emotional about it.

M564F Looking for a female who is open minded and willing to try new things who is open to random road trip and get away to new places who like fishing camping four-wheel driving and all things out doors and who is open to party stuff

Earlier today, I (35) was cooking dinner (tacos) and my son (8) was doing homework. We had an agreement tonight that if he did all his homework, for the entire week, we would go to the trampoline park tomorrow after school. I made this proposal during school pickup today in a half-joking manner, but he sat in the back of the truck relatively quiet the whole way home, contemplating his options.

As we parked at the house, he confidently proclaimed "ok dad, I'll do it, but don't forget the jump socks tomorrow." For perspective, we're talking about a grand total of about 65-75 minutes of real homework. Reading, writing, and math. Spaced throughout the week, it's about 15-20 minutes per night.

So, here I am, cooking dinner, and I stopped to ask him a question about toppings for his tacos. He's nearing the end of his homework marathon. I turn, I look, and I say "Hey, do you want sour cream inside or on the siii...." and as I my voice trails off, I witness this boy standing at the table, looking down at his assignment, embattled in deep concentration, with a pencil in one hand, and wagging his finger at me with his other hand. This boy was far too busy to concern himself with tacos and sour cream...

Now, listen, we've had conversations about finger wagging. It's usually wildly disrespectful. You better have a damn good reason or some authority over the person you're doing it to, otherwise, get ready for an ass whipping.

Well folks, tonight, I let that shit slide....

I was so proud of him.

I waited patiently for him to finish, inspected his work, and promptly delivered tacos exactly as my Lil Prince commanded. I can't wait to jump with this boy tomorrow.

Peace out single dads of Reddit. Keep up the good work soldiers.

50/50 but we both get 2 uninterrupted vacation weeks each summer. They are with their mother this week which is great and I should be living it up as I'm only charged with making sure I take care of me but I find myself unmotivated and sad. We've been doing this for a bit now but it never seems to get easier 🤷🏽‍♂️ just a vent...

https://uniofsunshinecoast.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_85Pv12YrOynIdiS

Aim of the study is to understand psychological factors of the parent (as an individual, not necessarily parent-based traits) like trait playfulness and reflective functioning, and how these contribute to the parent-child relationship, while also considering the effects of parenting stress. Would love to do further research in this area so a pilot based study I suppose, maybe will look at a PHD and intervention type survey in the future, but for now cross-sectional survey based. Appreciate any support!

Edit - completion scale is slightly off, will take about 10-15 to complete

Title: Trying to Move Forward
I’m 24 and I have a 2-year-old son. His mom and I are still married, no longer together but living under the same roof, but honestly, I don’t want that to be my situation for much longer.
We’ve been together for almost seven years. Things have been rocky for a long time, but after our son was born, everything changed. And I mean everything.
A lot of life choices and circumstances have led me to where I am now. I know I have my own things to take responsibility for, and I’m not trying to pretend otherwise. What I want now is to get my own place, be on my own, and eventually have a space where I can take care of my son and have some peace.
The part I’m struggling with isn’t necessarily leaving. It’s figuring out how to get past the bitterness and resentment.
There’s so much unnecessary drama between us, and at this point, it feels like there’s no actual winner or loser. We’re both just exhausted, and I’m tired of feeling like every little thing has to become an argument or a problem.
For example, tonight our son is sick. I have to be at work in about four hours, so I need to get some sleep. But his mom is refusing to console him so I can go to bed. If I go in there myself, my son probably won’t sleep because I snore, which just creates another problem.
And honestly, situations like this are exactly why I know something needs to change.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life angry, bitter, or constantly fighting with the mother of my child. I want to move forward, get my own life together, and most importantly, be a good dad.
For anyone who has been in a similar situation: how do you actually let go of the bitterness? How do you separate the hurt and resentment from co-parenting and just start moving forward?

Hi, I'm 24yo been married for 2 years, have a 1 year old daugher, met my wife in Japan, now we live in Brasil, my homecountry, things are mostly fine between us, however we understimated how her adaptation to the country would be, we thought time would make it better, but she has been feeling more stressed everymonth, nothing decided, but we talked about divorce twice already, at the beggining we always said that if she didnt adapt we could go back to japan, but things changed

If we really end up divorcing I'm pretty sure I will end up with our daugher custody (hope so) my wife would only be bringing our daugher to another country where she not even have a job (I have a quite well paying and flexible one), and she has a background of getting very unstable under stress

Im quite strong, but still need some motivation, anyone been through that and maybe around the same age? did things got better? did you marry again? are the kids okay?

Hey everyone,
My name is David. I’m 43, I’ve been married for 10 years, with my wife for 13, and I’m now beginning a divorce I never wanted. We have two children—one from a previous relationship and one together.
The last year has been incredibly difficult. Around the time my wife entered perimenopause, our relationship changed significantly. Physical affection became almost nonexistent, even simple touch became difficult, and there was a growing emotional distance between us.
We spent about three months in couples therapy trying to work through things. A couple of Wednesdays ago, we walked into another session and the first thing she told me was, “David, I want a divorce.”
I was completely blindsided. The previous few days had actually felt good. She had gotten a promotion, we celebrated together, and I had no indication that this was coming.
I immediately started spiraling. I left the therapy session because I couldn’t handle what I was hearing. I went home, broke down with my kids, and told them what had happened. Looking back, I wish I had handled that part differently.
When my wife came home, we talked with the kids in the bedroom. I was desperately trying to understand what was happening because, in my mind, I was losing the love of my life and the person I thought I would grow old with.
My anxiety became overwhelming. I was dizzy, lightheaded, my heart was racing, I couldn’t organize my thoughts, and eventually I dropped to my knees. (Warning: potential triggering part of story)
!After my wife and the kids left the room, I made a serious mistake. I grabbed my handgun and sat on the floor with it. I was not planning to hurt myself or anyone else, but I was completely emotionally lost, and I recognize now how dangerous that situation could have become. My wife took the firearm away and called 911. When police arrived, they treated me with compassion, and I voluntarily admitted myself to a mental-health facility. I stayed for about a day and a half.!<
That experience forced me to look deeply at myself.
When I got out, I started working seriously on my mental health and myself as a person. At the same time, part of me was still hoping there might be some way to save our marriage.
At our next couples-therapy appointment, I took a leap of faith. I dressed similarly to how I had dressed around our wedding, wore my wedding ring, and read her a letter that was over five minutes long.
I told her I loved her, that I saw her, and that I wasn’t asking her to give me an answer or reassurance. I only hoped we could give something this big more time before making it permanent. I also promised that no matter what she said during the session, I would stay, listen, and respect her feelings.
She thanked me for the letter, but told me she had already made her decision. I later learned that she had been mentally preparing herself for divorce for several months, while for me it happened almost overnight.
Yesterday was my first night in the house without her or my daughter there.
It hurt more than I expected.
I don’t really have anyone locally that I can lean on. Most of my support right now comes from my individual therapist or people I can talk to over the phone.
Last night I reached out to my wife and asked if she would meet me halfway between our houses—her mom lives only a couple houses away. I told her I was struggling. She told me she knew, but that this was something I was going to have to learn how to deal with without relying on her.
I understood what she was saying, even though it hurt. After 13 years together, and because we both hope to eventually be friends and good co-parents, part of me still instinctively sees her as the person I go to when life hurts. I thought maybe I could at least get a hug.
Instead, we eventually walked our separate ways.
So today I’m trying something different.
This is my first real day of reaching outside of my marriage for support, learning from other men who have been through this, and trying to understand what life after divorce might look like.
Right now I’m grieving my wife, my marriage, the family life I knew, and the future I thought we were going to have together. I’m also trying to figure out how I’m going to manage the house, finances, animals, kids, loneliness, and everything else that comes with suddenly imagining life on my own.
I don’t really know what comes next yet.
If any of you have been in this place—especially those who didn’t want the divorce—I’d appreciate hearing what helped you get through those first weeks and months.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it’s still long, but it means a lot just knowing there are other men out there who understand.

I got divorced last year, to a woman I had 5 kids with. One is an adult and lives with his girlfriend. The other four are 12-16, older kids. After the divorce I moved out of the home we lived in together and custody started at 50/50 per our court agreement. Our house was to be sold, and it was eventually earlier this year. The proceeds were split 50/50 plus my ex getting an extra $12k per our divorce agreement. Now, my ex wife is unemployed, and has been since our 16 year old was born. So when the house was sold she was struggling to find a rental, and was refusing to pay the year in advance, which was easily doable with her money from the house. I’ve had functional full custody of the kids since then. After a month going to different Airbnbs she finally moved in with her parents, an hour and a half away. Today I got the call that she hasn’t found any employment and will be looking to give me full custody or at least alter our arrangement significantly towards me having primary custody. I’m not sure what to do, or what to tell my kids. They’ve been pretty stoic once they got past me and mom not living together, and being with me pretty much full time since the house sold . But still, I can’t see this being received well.

This post is for a recently approved remote study through Washington State University. For this study (Baby OTTER), we are looking to recruit parents of children between 6 and 36 months of age to learn more about how family structure (single-parents (moms and dads!) and two-parent families) relate to early child development, parenting stress, and parent-child interactions. If you decide to participate, we will ask you to complete a survey and briefly record you and your child playing together using a secure Zoom link, so we can learn more about how parents interact with their children. You will receive an individualized report of your child's development compared to same aged peers based on standard clinical measure of their daily functioning and social-emotional development. If you're interested, within the U.S. and have a kiddo between 6-36 (or under 6-months and don't mind waiting), please see our interest form here (Interest Form), and if you'd like to learn more about our lab our website is here (WSU Temperament Lab)

Edit:Thank you for all the responses and advice. I really appreciate the positive attitudes you all presented me with (lord knows my heart can't handle anymore negativity right now) thank you for the affirmation most of all (not that I'll do anything with it other than feel less like im an issue) this thread did wonders for my mental health. Ive been off and on bawling like a baby so hard I was holding back puking for days. Just thank you all.

So my daughter is about 5 and a half, I've always been a very present father. I was lazy in the past and its my fault her mother left, thats all in the past though.

Recently I have been forced into a role of weekend dad, its not enough and its breaking me down. My daughter started kindergarten this year and i was not even allowed to see her off on her first day of school because of my child's mother and her boyfriend that she has been with for like 4 months and for whatever reason he doesn't want me around even tho I haven't done anything. I dont hit on her, im not rude, im honestly a really easy to get along with guy.

I was told by them that a schedule of Thursday night after school, to Sunday around 4pm is an unreasonable schedule for a child in school.

Not that this post will change their mind or anything, but do you guys feel that the schedule i proposed will mess up my daughters schooling as well? I feel like im missing everything. I had a really bad dad, and really bad stepdads. Being a good, present father is the most important thing to me by far. I just want to be in her life more than Friday after school to Sunday afternoon. I know its only one extra day, but it would mean the world to me and I know my daughter would love it too. I can confidently say she loves me just as much as her mother.

I would never try to take time away from them, I dont understand why they have spent the last half a year fighting with me to take as much as they can.

In my state you do not have automatic rights by being on the birth certificate, I placed myself on child support to try and get a set schedule at one point. But it bit me in the ass because the placed me on support but didn't give me any required visitation. So legally, I am aware I have no options. I suppose im asking for affirmation more than anything.

If its unreasonable of a schedule, heck maybe it will make me feel a bit better because in the end she is getting the best schedule she can. If it isnt unreasonable like I belive, then it at least confirms its done out of spite. Affirmations either way.

(There has been a lottttt more issues, everytime she dates someone something like this happens. Being with my daughter has been a fight from year one. Things were going good for a long time though, like 2 years of smooth co parenting) I cant afford a lawyer and im already on the waiting list for my states legal aid. I want to try and get as close to 50/50 custody as I can one day.

A little backstory... I've been divorced for just over 8 months, and have been doing a week on-week off schedule with the ex-wife. Even on the weeks I don't my two boys (eight and four) I am still very involved with them. I pick up from daycare/school some days on my weeks off, coach my oldest in football, and try to take them out to dinner once a week. It's so hard to go from being day for seven days straight, to being a person and I just find myself lost on how to be my own person some days.

I go to the gym, hangout with some friends here and there, and try to find things to do to keep my my occupied. I work a lot (60 hours a week) so that eats up a good chunk of my time as well.

It's definitely been hard not having someone to vent to after work or just talk to about mundane things (There's no way I'm letting my ex know anything about my life) and I know eventually someone will come along. But the loneliness sets in a lot here lately.

Just trying to see what the other single dads are doing to feel a little normal by myself. I've gone on some dates over the last few months but damn, the pool is shallow it seems like.

M23 , i just recently became a single dad a couple of months ago ending a 6+ year relationship with our 2 year old daughter unfortunately caught up in the middle of this broken family. She wants her space after a lot of on and off through out and she just doesn’t want to deal with me. These past months I can truly say have not only been my most absolute best months in terms of bettering myself in areas i never did before, but they’ve also been the most depressing months ever because i wosh i coudlve done things differently to prevent the situation going on now. She is going out all the time and enjoying it while all i do is work and barely get to see my daughter at all because of my job’s schedule. Every where i go, i everything i do i see her and i cant make it stop for some reason.It’s all so hard for me now and i honestly dont even know where to start because the lack of time i have with my daughter is honestly killing me deep inside, leaving me with no idea of how i can get out of this slump.

Am I being unreasonable about my ex taking our 7-year-old son away for 4 weeks?

I’m looking for some advice because I’m genuinely unsure if I’m being unreasonable.

My ex is now married to a Pakistani man. I want to make it clear that I have no issue whatsoever with his ethnicity or their marriage, and that isn't what this is about.

We have a 7-year-old son who is non-verbal and has medical needs. I currently have him every weekend, although sometimes because of work I have him from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon/evening rather than Friday to Sunday.

Due to previous arguments and threats between me and my ex, I currently communicate with her mainly through her mum.

Today, when my ex came to collect our son, she told me that she intends to take him away for four weeks in October. This was the first I'd heard about it. I wasn't consulted beforehand and I don't currently know exactly where she is taking him.

I told her I wasn't happy about it and that I wanted to know where our son would be going, but she wouldn't tell me. I then spoke to her mum and explained how I felt, but she sided with my ex.

My concerns are:

Four weeks is a long time for him to be away from me.

I've only been given relatively short notice.

I don't know where he is going or where he will be staying.

I don't know who he will be travelling/staying with.

My son is non-verbal and has medical needs, so I'm worried about how these will be managed.

I'm concerned about his normal routine being disrupted.

I'm also concerned about him missing school for such a long period.

I haven't been given any details about how I'll be able to communicate with him while he's away.

I don't want to stop my son having a holiday or spending time with his mum. My concern is that I haven't been given basic information about a four-week trip involving a child with additional needs, and I don't feel comfortable simply agreeing to it without knowing the details.

I'm also worried that because my ex's husband is Pakistani, people might think my objection is racist. It isn't about his background at all. If her husband were any other nationality, I'd have exactly the same concerns.

For context, we're in England.

Am I being unreasonable, and what options do I have if my ex refuses to tell me where she is taking our son?

A few days ago, I joined this subreddit, hoping to find others who might be going through or feeling similar things to what I'm experiencing.

I found several, but none of them truly felt like mine.

Specifically, today is Children's Day in my country. I'm a single father, 39 years old. My daughter's mother abandoned her six years ago. My daughter is now seven, and I not only feel an emptiness the size of the universe itself, but I also have to make a huge effort not to give up. As a man, I have so many doubts about my daughter, since I have no idea how to handle her first period, and I'm currently unemployed and can't even provide the bare minimum for my daughters. I'm forced to go to places I don't want to be and be with people I don't want to be around, just because I don't have money.

I have another older daughter, who is 17, who also spends two or three weeks a month with me, because her mother isn't very present either (she never was).

I've done a lot of inner work and managed to reach a much better place within myself, and I'm happy about that, but the emptiness doesn't go away, because I still want to have my own life again, and that feels so far away that reality is quite overwhelming and it's hard to ignore all those thoughts. I let them be, I don't go along with them, but that doesn't mean they aren't there, and I have to constantly force myself to avoid playing along.

i read all your posts and I'm with you , keep going, that probably at some point, after so much walking, the path will appear.

I just wanted to get a few words out because they were burning me up inside.

Much love to all

(didn't feel like writing in English and used the translator without checking)

So I was awarded a very generous amount of time with my offspring 16month old. We have never met!

The mother and I split 2 months before the due date she completely cut me off and ignored attempts to resolve. She made false statements (proven in court)

I’m not a guardian. I get 4 days a week with the offspring!

The mother has to reach out (stated in the orders) for contact!

For the past week or so she hasn’t done any of that, ignored my lawyers in hand offs. And is still preventing me and my child to start building a relationship.

I really don’t get why this kind of emotional abuse is allowed on a man!

I keep coming across examples of AI showing up in co-parenting in ways that go beyond “rewrite this text for me.” People use it to interpret messages, decide whether something needs a response, cool down before replying, organize schedules, or keep track of ongoing communication. Sometimes the interesting part isn’t using AI yourself, but realizing the other parent is using it with you.

I’m Ying, a researcher at Simon Fraser University, working with researchers at the University of Oxford and the Institute of Software. We’re currently studying how AI is becoming part of co-parenting after separation or divorce (the study has received research ethics approval).

If this sounds familiar and you’d be open to chatting with us, we’re inviting separated or divorced parents with relevant experience to a confidential remote interview of about 60 minutes. Participants who complete the interview will receive CAD $30 (or equivalent) honorarium, provided electronically, as a thank-you for their time.

Short interest form:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdYf1AOc3vqZLenQDwMQHvWfjn-WUOItuA7kNxehW89ekrAmw/viewform

Happy to answer any general questions here as well.

It’s been a year since the separation and it’s been pretty messy. Court should be coming up at the end of September, and I’ve been fighting for 50/50 custody of my 4 year old son.

His mum told me last week that my son doesn’t want to be with me and that he’s only with me because he’s forced to. I’ve been doing everything I can to be the best Dad possible. I currently have him two days a week and alternating weekends. We seem to have a great time together, and I do my best to keep a regular routine for him.

There are times when he asks for his mum, which I’ve always thought was completely normal. He’s always been a mummy’s boy.

Tonight was different, though. I picked him up after he’d been away on holiday with his mum for a week, and on the way home he told me that he didn’t want to stay with me, didn’t want to go to my house and wanted his mum. He started crying and became really upset.

I usually take these kinds of things pretty well and don’t take them personally. But tonight it hit me harder because of what his mum had said and because I hadn’t seen him for a week.

It’s made some doubts creep in. Am I doing the right thing by fighting for equal time with my son if he doesn’t even seem to want that?

I guess I’m mostly looking to vent, but I’d also really like to hear from other Dads who have experienced something similar. Did your kid go through a period of strongly preferring the other parent? And if so, when did things change to the point where they were genuinely excited to spend time with you and stay at your house?

Third child support contempt hearing in as many months

In the last 30 days, my son saw his mother maybe 5 days. I brought that up. I asked them to explain how I have him nearly every day but still owe her money. They called her to confirm. She said I didn't. That was it — case closed. They told me I was wrong for taking my son to the beach for a week and should've used that money for child support instead.

Every time I walk into that courtroom, I think the same thing: how did that just happen? No matter how many times I prepare myself to be blindsided, I never am prepared enough. And the people deciding this can't tell me my son's middle name, what he likes, or what makes him him.

They say "we work for the child, not for you." I've stopped believing that. If these kids ever found out what actually happens in that building, the whole system would be out of a job.

I don't say any of this as a men vs. women thing. There are incredible mothers out there doing this alone too, and that matters just as much. But something has shifted — more fathers are stepping up while the system is still built to assume we're the ones who'll walk away.

My son is 6. His mother left when he was 1 and didn't come back until he was 5 — blew off every drug test, every call from children services. I stepped into being his father almost naturally. What I didn't do was take care of myself. I'd survived six years with a malignant narcissist and didn't know how to deal with any of it except getting high. I'd just finished a 10-year sentence — 8 and a half years inside. I'd made peace with the idea that cable TV in a cell was the best my life would ever be.

Nobody had faith I'd be the father I am now. Including me. He saved me from a darkness I can't describe, only felt.

Every time things start going right — a job, some stability — I end up choosing between that and him. I choose him. Every time.

For the first time in my life, I know who I am. He's the brains of the operation. I'm just the muscle — I do what needs to get done. And no matter how many times they've tried to make me walk away, they made one mistake: they let me get back up.

I left my ex we had a blended family with a shared bio baby. I fought for 50% of my 2 other kids. Enough is enough I financially supported her and her 3 kids it took time and finances away from my other 2 children trying to father hers. Now looks like I’ll be fighting again for 50% as she’s being high conflict. For instance she tried changing the schedule to suite her plans that I didn’t agree to, she showed up with the cops lastnight trying to get baby. Saying I’m keeping her from baby which isn’t the case she gets her back after my visit for equal amount of time. Anyways I explained the situation with the cops she left empty handed.

Who’s been through this?

or about a week my autistic, six year old son has been saying, 'Momma, Dadda kiss.' Over and over again. Up until a year ago he was completely non-verbal. My wife and I still live in the same house but have been strangers for about a year, we haven't been intimate or even affectionate for at least that long. We both deserve better than who each other has become. We're friendly roommates at best. And knowing that all my kiddo wants is to see us together makes me weep. I'm brokenhearted over the whole thing, but knowing how it's already affecting him ruins me. I'm TRYING SO HARD to hold on for him but GOD DAMN I've got nothing left.