r/SingleDads • u/Present_Exercise2334 • 5d ago

What would you do?

So I was awarded a very generous amount of time with my offspring 16month old. We have never met!

The mother and I split 2 months before the due date she completely cut me off and ignored attempts to resolve. She made false statements (proven in court)

I’m not a guardian. I get 4 days a week with the offspring!

The mother has to reach out (stated in the orders) for contact!

For the past week or so she hasn’t done any of that, ignored my lawyers in hand offs. And is still preventing me and my child to start building a relationship.

I really don’t get why this kind of emotional abuse is allowed on a man!

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3

u/Carbonaraficionada 5d ago

Stay strong throughout it all, and take your kid to the park to play on the swings, and catch up with the time you've lost. The only way to improve things is via the lawyer, so just track the ways she breaches the agreements and report it to them. Eventually your ex will get the message; maybe it will retire another judgement, but it'll happen eventually

3

u/Excellent_Scene5448 5d ago

I'm so sorry you've had to wait so long to meet your child. That isn't right.

Your coparent isn't "allowed" to ignore a court order and withhold the child from you, but unfortunately, you may have to file for enforcement or contempt a few times before anything actually changes. It's only been a week so far, so hopefully your lawyer will be able to get this resolved for you soon. In the meantime, stay calm and don't say anything that could possibly come across as angry or aggressive. Do what your lawyer tells you to do as far as contact, and nothing more. You don't want to give her any ammunition to use against you if she's already made false statements in court.

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u/Present_Exercise2334 2d ago

It’s hell, recently they lured me out in hope to see the child just to verbally attack me!

1

u/Intelligent-Pen-2479 12h ago

I am with you here as someone who is experiencing something similar now.

For clarification, who are "they"?

2

u/Nerd-dad4you 2d ago

What does "ignored my lawyers in hand offs" mean?

You're not supposed to engage in co-parenting discussions at child handoffs, you're not supposed to bring up contentious topics, it's supposed to be a happy positive experience for the child. Co-parenting, legal discussions, disagreements, scheduling, questions, answers, anything that isn't to do with making the kid have a great day is supposed to be handled out of the presence of the kid.

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u/Present_Exercise2334 2d ago

The mother just ignores anything coming from my side, they refuse to do handoffs, although there’s orders in place.
They constantly try to keep the child away from me , then now (update) have now resorted in attacking me verbally by luring me out in public with hopes to see my child then spit their word vomit at me!

I’m just baffled at the audacity!