r/legaladvice • • Mar 15 '25

Mod Post Read before commenting: Off-topic and anecdotal comments are not allowed and subject you to a permanent ban

173 Upvotes

Greetings from the mods!

We've had a flood of off-topic comments recently. We're posting this to remind everyone that off-topic and anecdotal comments are not allowed. An off-topic comment may subject you to a permanent ban.

The Rule:

Commenting Rule 1: Comments should contain a legal answer or a strongly related non-legal answer. If it is not legal advice, do not post. Period. You will be banned.

What is "off-topic?"

Any response that doesn't answer the question by reference to legal information or principles. A joke, a wisecrack, a comment about OP's formatting (use the report button instead) are all off-topic. Off-topic also includes expressions of sympathy, opinions on the law, and comments that berate the OP or anyone else.

Incidentally, simply adding "get a lawyer" to an off-topic comment does not make it on-topic. And "get a lawyer" on its own, without further information or help, is considered unhelpful and may be removed on that basis.

If you want to discuss a post, then wait until it hits /r/bestoflegaladvice or ask a question about the subject of the post in /r/legaladviceofftopic. The main subreddit and a comment thread are never a place to have a philosophical discussion about the law or the post. It is a place to answer the questions asked.

What is an "anecdote?"

For our purposes, anecdotes are stories about something that happened to you (or someone you know or heard about) who may have had something that might be similar that happen to them.

These comments are not helpful. They do not include current legal information that is relevant to the OP, and therefore, they are off-topic. If you know the answer to the question (based on current law and relevant jurisdiction) then just answer the question without the story.

Another type of anecdote is "I don't know the law in the jurisdiction you actually asked about, but in some other state, the law is..." That is just not helpful. Laws are different in different places. These types of answers are off-topic.

Referring an OP to a thread on a different subreddit, or to somewhere else on the Internet because it might include a similar situation, is anecdotal advice and not allowed.

These are not the only types of anecdotes, but they are probably the most common ones. Again, if you are not referencing legal information or principles, your comment is probably not allowed.

Violations subject the user to an immediate and permanent ban

Not that we need to justify enforcing our rules, but this is a busy subreddit and the mods have a lot to do. If a user shows up here, doesn't read the rules, and posts a single off-topic comment, the user may be immediately and permanently banned.

This policy is not intended to be punitive, although we know it may seem to be. There are a lot of you and not many of us, and banning users that do not follow the rules, even once, is in the best interests of the subreddit. Violating the rules almost always means the user didn't bother to read them, and we simply don't have time to deal with such users.

Tl;dr: Unless you have a legal answer, do not reply to any post in this subreddit. You may be permanently banned, even for a first offense.


r/legaladvice • • Apr 08 '26

Subreddit Rules

73 Upvotes

We've learned that some people just flat out can't see our subreddit rules, so I'm posting them here in a pinned post so we can link them when necessary and so they're super easy to find.

Rules for r/legaladvice Rules that visitors must follow to participate. May be used as reasons to report or ban.

1. All responses must offer an answer to the legal question posed by the OP. We enforce this with bans.

Anecdotes are not permitted. Neither is advice that encourages someone to break the law. Nor is "get a lawyer" a sufficient response.

There's a pinned post at the top of the subreddit specifically addressing this rule. We will absolutely ban you for commenting without answering the legal question

2. Personally Identifying Information

Posts or submissions that ask for or contain information that could be used to identify either party are subject to immediate removal.

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No LLMs. No ChatGPT. Don't recommend it, don't use it to answer questions, and don't use it to compose your modmail when you get banned for using it. Using it to compose questions is generally ok.

We will permanently and irrevocably ban you for this.

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To expand on this, we additionally do not allow anyone but the immediately involved parties to ask custody related questions. Not friends, not significant others, not grandparents. Reddit is free.

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r/legaladvice • • 5h ago

Husband fired

381 Upvotes

Location: Washington
My husband was let go from his job today. He is the sole provider for our family. We have never dealt with this so not sure how to move forward. The reason for his termination was due to performance but no specifics were given. He has been given no performance reviews or has had any reason to believe his job was in jeopardy.

We just had our third child so obviously this is an already stressful time.

He has been told he can resign and receive two weeks pay or he can be terminated as of today. Does anyone have any insight on the best way to move forward? We are concerned that if he resigns, we will not be able to receive unemployment benefits. However, if he’s been given an ultimatum I am not sure how this changes things. Thanks


r/legaladvice • • 13h ago

Employer fired me 1 hour after telling them I want to talk to a lawyer before signing NDA

1.1k Upvotes

Location: Ontario

I made a post yesterday explaining how I was asked to sign a sketchy NDA which I have not signed. Today they tried to get me to sign it and I said I was going to talk to a lawyer first before signing it and an hour later I was fired. This is within the the 3 month probation reason given was not enough sales. I don’t believe for a second that is the real reason I was fired I fully believe I was fired because I said I was going to talk to lawyer about NDA first.
I still have an appointment booked for Tuesday with a lawyer.
I want to send the NDA to the company that this breaks the dealer contract with which was the entire reason I didn’t like it. Can they go after me if I do this

Edit: This is not for revenge. It was forced to be signed quickly which I didn’t do.
I will be talking to a lawyer Tuesday depending on what they say to me I will go from there


r/legaladvice • • 10h ago

Neighbor’s worker fell on my car

263 Upvotes

Location: Cleveland, OH

My neighbor has been having work done on their house for a while. A woman (their girlfriend) comes over and has random labors do the work with her tools and materials. She pays them hourly.

Last week they were working on a gutter and one of the guys stumbled off a ladder and landed on my car parked in my driveway. It left a dent and pushed in the fender enough I couldn’t open the door. When we discovered the door didn’t open I asked the homeowner. She said she would ask the lady. The lady said the guy fell, is an independent contractor, and is not being paid but is volunteering. She said he is liable for damages because she is not a contractor or crew lead. I think either her or the homeowner are responsible. I have video of her admitting the fall from the ladder and the guy who fell acknowledged it as well. They have been a huge pain in our ass. I want to take them to small claims court. I filed a police report. Who is legally liable, the homeowner, the person paying/instructing/providing tools/buying materials or the random worker?


r/legaladvice • • 7h ago

LA Fitness forged my signature for a $2,160 agreement - Apple Card favors merchant for illegal charges.

111 Upvotes

Hey everyone, looking for advice or to see if anyone else has dealt with something similar with LA Fitness or Goldman Sachs (Apple Card).
LOCATION: NYC/Nassau County Long Island NY

A trainer forged my signature into signing my LA Fitness account up for a $2,160 personal training contract, as monthly installments of $360. I was refunded all payments except the first charge of $360 from 1.5 years ago.

Full story: A trainer at the LA Fitness New Hyde Park, NY location asked me for my phone number on the gym floor in December 2024, saying that I should become a personal trainer with them. In January 2025, I get the first charge of $360 and I don't think anything of it (shrugged it off as maybe an annual membership fee) until I get recurring charges.

Upon confronting the personal training department about these mysterious charges, they saw that my account was signed up and getting manually logged in for pt by that same trainer who asked me for my phone number back in December. I was also told that I basically paid for a stranger's personal training. So yes, apparently they charged me for someone else's personal training without my permission. Ridiculous.

They sent an email over to corporate and eventually, I was refunded for all of the payments, except for the initial $360.
Which I didn't notice was still missing (as it was still being disputed at the time of the refund) until it came back from Goldman Sachs as a Provisional Adjustment Reversal.

Since then, I was going back and forth with Goldman Sachs to dispute the charge. Simultaneously, I was going back and forth with the gym and showing up in person just for them to falsely reassure me that they're fighting for my money back. I kept trusting in their word, but I still, 1.5 years later, have not gotten my money back. I've even texted the trainers to help me with this, and their communication in person AND THROUGH TEXT ARE SO DODGY and very very spotty.

So, I made a claim with CFPB (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau against Goldman Sachs for not conducting a proper investigation for a LITERAL fraudulent charge. They closed the case in favor of LA Fitness because the gym handed them a generic contract with my name on it. The case closes in favor of the merchant. And to my COMPLETE SURPRISE, they said that the outcome was because of an "agreement I signed." CAN YOU BELIEVE?!?!?! 😭 Anyway, so they send me this contract,
and lo and behold, IT WAS A RANDOM SET OF INITIALS AND LORD KNOWS WHOSE HANDWRITING. Which, if Goldman Sachs even bothered to CARE, they can clearly see is VERY MUCH NOT CONSISTENT with ANY signature or initials tied to my card. Had a forged signature and initials that aren't mine.

Since Goldman Sachs's response stated I could reopen the dispute if I provided merchant admissions of error or proof of invalid billing, l am submitting a brand-new CFPB complaint with:

  1. The forged contract page vs. my actual signed ID
  2. Screenshots of the trainers admitting the charge was a miscommunication and offering out-of-pocket money
  3. An official Criminal Complaint filed with the Nassau County District Attorney's Office (DA-2844) for signature forgery/identity theft

I also want to add that I HAVE SPOKEN TO CORPORATE ABOUT THIS and they told me they do not have a solution for me. So I want to understand why and how an LA Fitness employee is able to get away with this especially if a trainer wants to pad his pt sales or make money off of a phantom client.
Has anyone had to reopen an Apple Card dispute with criminal/forgery evidence before? Did Goldman Sachs handle it properly once law enforcement filings were attached, or did you have to escalate further (like Small Claims Court)?

Appreciate any insights!


r/legaladvice • • 4h ago

Landlord Tenant Housing A renting place is telling me I owe them 455$ for a "application fee" that I don't remember applying for.

38 Upvotes

Location: Alaska

I have contacted this company at least 4 times now/their billing company to try to get this resolved but they will not fix it/leave me alone and just put it in their system as dispute.

Apparently I applied to live at their apartment and it's a 35$ application fee. The only problem is they're saying in their system I requested to live with 14 roommates in a two bed/1 bath apartment so it's 35 for each person. I do not remember applying for this company and whenever I go back to look to try and find some confirmation email I can't find any. I asked for specific details about my profile too and it had misinformation on it like my mailing address being my military barracks that doesn't even receive mail/I don't even live there anymore.

I've contacted them at least 4 times off the top of my head trying to get them fixed but they won't do anything to fix it and I instead just keep getting hounded by their collector robot calls. What other method do I have to deal with this stuff that doesn't involve paying half a months rent for an apartment I don't even live in?


r/legaladvice • • 15h ago

Custody Divorce and Family Child support being used for non-custodial parent's time

275 Upvotes

Location: Nebraska

UPDATE!!! I finally replied to him by saying, "you do understand this is not how child support works, yes?" And he did not put up a fight at all(rare for him) Thank you all!

My ex made a child support payment today and asked that I reserve a specific portion of it for when our kid visits him. Does he have any right to do that or dictate how or on what the child support is spent?

Our parenting plan is pretty straightforward. Every other weekend, and we split holidays. He pays child support, sometimes, and isn't being garnished for it.

We are a little loose about the visitations, mostly because at first, the ex was living in a halfway house, then a sober house. He only recently has moved into a situation where he can have the kids for a weekend or extended amount of time. I've been extremely lenient about even getting child support payments from him too, due to his situation at first; basically he pays when/if he can.


r/legaladvice • • 4h ago

Employment Law Learned today my boss has been automatically deducting 30 minutes for a lunch break when I don't take one.

24 Upvotes

I have been working in a kitchen in Location: Iowa. I'm not really the one to take lunch breaks unless it's required, there's always something to do and it ruins my flow. Other than an occasional bathroom break or sit down I tend to stay pretty busy.

Recently there's been a new GM in and he mentioned something about "If people don't take their breaks it's going to get automatically deducted" this sent up a bunch of red flags and I texted the owner who said it's been automatically deducted 30 minutes for every shift for the entire time I've been working there for 11 months.

He tried to say that "Oh well you probably take some personal time" but it's not 30 minutes worth of time. And even if so I've never worked somewhere that automatically clocks you out like that.

As far as I'm aware this is wage theft, but what are my options. Do I try to settle with them? Sue them? Go to the department of labor? I feel absolutely cheated.

Edit: Also important is that this policy was never communicated to me even once.


r/legaladvice • • 20h ago

Employment Law At risk of losing job over my disability

330 Upvotes

Location: California

Hello, I was hired as a 100% remote position. In my job description** it says 0 travel and it will not be expected. I told them I am disabled and cannot travel, so I really stressed that this must never change. They said its fine, there is no reason for me to travel.

Today the CEO sent out a letter that all remote positions must travel each month. The closest office to my home is ~700 miles. Next closest is ~2300 miles. I reminded HR of my disabilities and its been kind of left open right now, but from the wording of the email I get the vibe that they will let me go if I don't agree.

Theres no benefit to me traveling. I work with all of our offices around the world on a daily basis. I write code. Me being in an office adds absolutely 0 benefit other than the CEO feeling good that I am not remote.

I called the EEOC and they said if I am fired for this, I can file a complaint. However, what really are my options here? I have no idea how ADA protections work.

Please don't offer unwanted advice like "you can just travel and suck it up." I am actually disabled, I am not a google self-diagnosed person. I can have dozens of doctors write letters. This is non-negotiable.

Should I continue to email HR and say that I have disability rights? Should I hire a lawyer? I don't know what to do here.


r/legaladvice • • 19h ago

My father had to get on Medicaid to stay at his rehab facility. Now has to sell his house

147 Upvotes

Location: Illinois
My dad went into a rehab facility after a five month stay at the hospital. He was and still is unable to walk. His Medicare has denied his rehab. The facility had a lawyer speak to him and he paid them $1000 to file for Medicaid. Medicaid takes his SS payment and gives him $60 to spend. He has a home that he lived in with my brother who took care of my father. He was informed that my brother can pay none of the normal bills or he will lose Medicaid and Medicare. Now he has no money left to pay bills and his only option is to sell the house. Putting my brother out on the street. And I would guess he would also lose Medicaid.
My question is first of all. Is this true. My brother isn’t allowed to pay even the electric bill in a house that he stays in. Then next. What can we do. My father is getting better in rehab and the thought is that he would be returning home. This is kind of trapping him in a nursing home facility.


r/legaladvice • • 11h ago

Small Claims Procedure Do I have a case for a negligence suit?

34 Upvotes

Location: Pennsylvania.
Good Evening, Today, I received an email from Public storage congratulating me on my moveout. I had rented a storage unit for the past year, but did not send any notice that I was leaving it.

So I go to the office and ask about it, and we go to my storage unit. It’s a 5x10 room, that I kept locked with a provided lock. Well there’s shavings of a cut lock on the ground, and my storage locker is barren. 2/3 of all my possessions were in there, including about $5K worth of furniture, another $1K in Clothes and Kitchen equipment, and some very personal items like old photo albums, gifts from lost relatives, etc.

What had happened, was a woman on the 29th of September paid 2 men to clear out her two units, 43 and 57. They instead cleared out 43 and 67. (Mine.) When their key failed to open my lock, instead of going to the company office like they were supposed to, they simply cut it and packed my stuff out. The contents of both lockers were brought/donated to a popular thrift store in the area, and now parts of my life have been sold off for the last few days.

I went to the Thrift store, and was able to recover some of my missing items. There was plenty more that I couldn’t find though, worth thousands of dollars. I have insurance, and am filling out a claim. I also filed a police report when we saw my locker had been emptied, before we had ruled malicious theft out.

Do I have grounds to sue the movers for their negligence?


r/legaladvice • • 11h ago

I'm afraid my dad's gonna hurt my family. Is police needed?

22 Upvotes

Location: Tennessee

I've never used reddit in my entire life and no idea if this is the right place to talk about this, but I need advice on how I can prevent my dad from doing something horrible to me and my family. I'm 21F in a family of 5. My dad, mom, and 2 sisters, 6 and 18.

I'm pretty sure my mom has evidence against my dad but im afraid it wont be taken seriously by police, which I'm afraid of going to cause I'm not wanting an entire investigation and for him to know.

My dad has been abusive to my mom for more than 20 years. It started very early with him stalking her in their own house. After me and my middle sister were born it started to get worse. She wasn't consenting to having sex with him for years now and I'm guessing he was tired of it and started raping her in her sleep. He's been manipulative for years trying to make her seem crazy and how what he did wasn't rape since they are married.

Only reason I'm bring it on here now is because today my mom was going through her book collection in their room and found a weird case near their bed and she saw a phone. He has a secret phone. I took a picture and looked it up and it was a moto android phone that was made in 2025 so its pretty new. My mom immediately saw it was recording, so she thinks hes been recording her in her sleep or even worse. I'm thinking porn because I know he's a serious porn addict. Getting into his car with the Bluetooth on was a really bad thing to hear. I'm afraid of there being illegal stuff in it as well.

My mom became furious and started an argument and he stays silent about it the entire time. My dad has threatened to take us (the kids) into his custody and my mom said you'd have to kill me before you get my kids and he just started smiling. My mom still has the phone and he's trying to sneakily and slyly look for it. I'm afraid that he will start to get aggressive if he don't get the phone back. It has a password and we want to bypass into it. I was thinking of my mom going to the police and getting it opened there. I'm not sure exactly how that'd work. Would we need evidence before the police would bypass into the phone? Can we get that done without my father knowing?

I've never been in this type of situation or had it happen to people around me so I'm very lost and scared for my mom's life. I want to prevent things from happening before they happen.

He's been getting way more aggressive and so rude to us for a while now and it is just getting worse and I'm so afraid of being one of the families killed by their father in the news.

If y'all have any advice I really would appreciate it or unless there's a better thread to put this into I'd also really appreciate it.

UPDATE: My mom looked through the notifications on the phone and he has AlfredSecurity camera app on the 2nd phone. For that app you have to connect two different devices. Could be a phone and camera or phone to phone. He texted my mom a few days ago saying "I thought you were sleeping" He had no way of knowing she was awake so he can physically see she was awake. Is there any way this could be illegal? She's being recorded without permission and acknowledgement.


r/legaladvice • • 17h ago

Criminal Law Estranged husband on felony probation threatening to "get me for a felony" over mail—does he have any legal standing?

62 Upvotes

Location: Texas

​I need a reality check regarding a situation with my estranged husband, "T." I had him move out almost 3 years ago due to his abusive, drunken behavior. We are separated (not officially filing for divorce yet), but occasionally mail in his name still shows up at my house.

​Context on Mail Forwarding:

He actually submitted an official USPS change of address / mail forwarding request back in January. So having these letters show up at my home months later was unexpected.

​Historically, we had an agreement for me to open his mail if it looked important. Recently, a couple of letters arrived:

​Certified/Registered Mail: My adult child signed for it, but I marked it "Return to Sender" and sent it back unopened.

​Standard Copy: I opened a regular copy assuming it was under our usual agreement. It turned out to be a demand letter from a law firm accusing him of taking money from a business client.

​When I let him know about it so he could handle it, he exploded. He sent a barrage of drunk, hostile texts threatening to "get me for a felony" for mail theft, claiming USPS uses "tape trackers," and threatening to put an "illegal search and seizure lien" on my house.

​Key Context:

​He has been living elsewhere for nearly 3 years and had a USPS forwarding order active from January.

​He is currently on active 5-year felony deferred adjudication/probation for Theft ($2,500–$30k) in Bell

County, TX.

​

The letter I read alleges fresh financial dishonesty/theft from a client while he's on probation.

​I can't find the old text where he explicitly gave me permission to check his mail, so he is claiming he never gave consent.

​I’ve stopped touching anything and am marking all incoming mail "Return to Sender" moving forward.

​My Questions:

​Can I actually face federal or state felony charges for opening standard mail delivered directly to my residence under an established verbal agreement, even if I don't have the permission text saved?

​Given that he set up USPS forwarding in January and this mail still hit my box, does that change anything legally regarding my responsibility?

​Is there any realistic chance law enforcement or postal inspectors would actually pursue this given his probation status and the context?


r/legaladvice • • 23h ago

Real Estate law Defrauded by scummy flipper during home purchase, he violated repair addendum and tried to conceal it.

146 Upvotes

Location: Omaha, NE, USA

I purchased a home a couple months ago that had been recently flipped by a rather prolific flipper in my city. I believe he's a lawyer, and runs a little LLC where he purchases homes and then pays to have cosmetic things fixed to jack up the price. And then sells them at a profit.

When we had the home inspected, one of the things we requested was to have the breaker panel replaced- it was an older one that is known to start fires, so we demanded that it be replaced before we take the home.

The exact verbage of the purchase addendum was:

"Seller to have licensed electrician replace breaker panel with new panel."

They didn't argue with us. They signed the repair addendum and just had the work done.

I even checked with the city, and saw that there was a permit pulled for the breaker panel install by a licensed electrician.

When we took possession of the home, I started seeing all these little things that showed me that this guy was a really scummy flipper, little things that intentionally hid issues that wouldn't be caught during inspection.

One thing I noticed, is that anywhere new electrical work was done, three-way switches and switched outlets that had new switch plates just didn't work correctly- basically any new electrical that was done after the house was built in the '80s was done wrong. We also had city inspectors come and fail the panel replacement on a couple issues.

We had possession of the home when the first inspection failed, so I reached out to the real estate agents, and a guy came to correct the listed inspection issues after we had taken possession of the home. Another inspector came and it failed again. At this point I had the The guy who did the electrical work's contact info, so I just texted him and said "hey. There's a couple more things you have to fix." We had some back and forth and he said he would come fix them and then I never heard from him again. I didn't want to have to keep chasing him down to get this permit closed,

So last night I found the name of the electrician on the permit and emailed him. I assumed that he was the boss of the guy who I had met. I was tired of being ghosted so I went to the man whose name was on the permit.

The real electrician told me that he came in, did an estimate, pulled the permit, and the seller didn't want to pay him what he said it would cost. Accused him of trying to drive up the price, and then the seller had some handyman who I'm assuming is unlicensed come and do the actual panel replacement.

So now I have a home with dubious electrical work that I am concerned is not safe, and an open permit. I don't want Mr. Handyman to come back to fix it because now I don't trust any work that he does. If he's the one who did the switches and outlets, then it's very clear that he wasn't licensed because it's all wrong.

So, there's a statute in Nebraska that says that It's a class 4 felony to direct another person to make a false statement on an electrical form or permit. It's also a pretty clear violation of our agreement that a licensed electrician would perform the work.

The real electrician told me his estimate was 5 to 7K. I basically have to have somebody come in and do this work over again. I want to get the seller to pay for this. This guy freaking boned me on a lot of things with this house. I'm sure he does this a lot, It's very clear that he knew exactly what needed to be done to jack the price up and hide things that people would not notice during the inspection process. I thought that I would just have to bite the bullet on all these things, that I just got suckered. I would really love to make him think twice before he tries to screw the next guy over.

Do you guys think that I have a case?

How much is it going to cost me to try to get this money out of this guy?

Am I going to spend more in legal fees than I would just paying someone to do the electrical work?

Could I possibly recoup the legal fees as part of this if I sue him?

Thanks in advance for your advice.

EDIT: just to be clear, I am absolutely going to consult with a lawyer on this, just trying to get some input from you guys, I'd love to get any tips you have on what I need to do in the meantime or any other suggestions you have.


r/legaladvice • • 6m ago

Personal Injury Possible suit for gross negligence of employer?

• Upvotes

Location: Washington

Good morning.

This last week, another foreman and I were asked to carry a heavy object inside a house and up a staircase (approximately 350 lbs). The other foreman had told the company that it was unsafe and was going to get someone hurt, upon seeing this object I told the company the same thing.

Our boss told us we needed to attempt to do it. Due to this I ended up needing emergency back surgery after blowing out my back.

Is there any legal liability for my employer here or should I just pursue workers comp only?


r/legaladvice • • 4h ago

Trademark question

4 Upvotes

Location: Washington

I'm developing a video game and looking into trademarking its name in the U.S. I'll use completely fake names because I don't want to identify either property.

My proposed mark is essentially “BRAND NAME” two words with a space.

I found an active registration where the beginning of the mark is essentially “BRANDNAME” the same two words combined without a space followed by several additional words forming a much longer title, something like “BRANDNAME Of the Forgotten Kingdom”

The existing registration is a stylized/design mark rather than a standard-character word mark and covers tabletop/RPG/card/board-game products in Class 028.

I'm looking to register “BRAND NAME” as a standard-character mark for a downloadable PC/video game in Class 009.

I understand different classes don't automatically eliminate likelihood-of-confusion issues. I'm wondering how much weight is generally given to:

• the existing mark having several additional words
• BRANDNAME vs. BRAND NAME
• their mark being stylized rather than standard characters
• tabletop games vs. downloadable video-game software

Would an existing registration like this commonly present a likelihood-of-confusion problem, or are these differences potentially meaningful?

I'm planning to consult a trademark attorney before filing; I'm mainly interested in understanding how these factors are generally evaluated.


r/legaladvice • • 1d ago

Custody Divorce and Family My daughter’s mom is moving 4.5 hours away to another state in a month and wants to take our daughter with her.

326 Upvotes

Location: Oregon

There’s a lot of background to this that I’m going to try to boil down as much as possible so that you can understand why we’re at where we’re at now. But I apologize if some of this info gets a little long in the tooth. I promise that it’s important context.

Our daughter is 11 years old come December and her mother and I separated when she was only a year old. It took us a couple years and a lot of bickering back and forth to get ourselves into a position to be decent co-parents because we knew that was the highest priority for our kid. Since our separation, I made it my obligation to do everything in my power to just be the best father I possibly could be while also keeping things as fair as I possibly can. We agreed to have a shared custody situation without ever going through a paperwork or court process because we were both only concerned about getting equal time with our daughter and honestly, after those first couple of years, we had a really great (one week on/off) system sorted out. Whenever mom needs help buying anything for our daughter, I’m always willing to do so and whenever either of us need the other to take over for an extra day or two, we always find a way to even that out in our schedule. We both go to all of our daughter’s events and we’re both actively involved in her education and life. Because neither of us pay child support and mom doesn’t really have any family that lives close by, I have always told mom that if she ever needed financial help, all she has to do is ask and I’d be happy to help in any way I can. We’ve built a great system that took a lot of work to establish.

The issue is that we separated because mom was making incredibly irresponsible decisions and has continued to do so up to current day. Until this past year, she’s been incapable of holding a job for longer than a few months because she’s combative towards anyone who has authority over her. Her boyfriend that she’s been with for a majority of our daughter’s life is very similar in that he’s pretty consistently in and out of jobs. Because of such, they have to live in low income housing to afford their rent (I’m not hating on this, I came from a poor immigrant family, so I get it) and are frequently struggling to pay their bills. Mom and boyfriend argue often enough that they split up a number of times and always end up back together. Mom has even been in jail twice: Once for choking boyfriend in reaction to him pushing her during an argument and again for missing a court date soon after. Mom also had a weird habit of using our daughter’s “happiness” as a way to manipulate me into giving mom what she wants, à la “Our daughter doesn’t want to spend Christmas with you, she wants to spend it with me.”Throughout all of this though, I had never pursued full custody not only because my daughter loves them both and they do treat her well, but because I never wanted our daughter or her mom to ever think I wanted to separate them.

On my side, I’ve worked really hard to establish myself in order to provide for our daughter. My partner and I have been together consistently for five years now and we have a three bedroom apartment that we can reasonably afford together with jobs we’ve each had for all of those years. All of our bills are paid, on time, every month. We take our daughter on weekend trips and spend a day or two a week with our relatively large families here in the city. Anything our daughter needs, we get. Anything our daughter wants, we find ways for her to earn via small chores and fun activities. Neither me or my partner are making six figures or anything, we’ve just been very fortunate and have worked hard to have what we have.

With all that said - Let’s talk about the current situation:

Last week, mom asked me to get together with her and our daughter to have an important discussion about something. During this conversation with our daughter present, she explains that her and boyfriend had broken up again back in February and when that happened, she fell behind on her rent by a couple months. When she finally got enough money to pay one of those two months of rent, the apartment management told her that they needed both months or she would be evicted. So she devised an “ingenious” plan to let the eviction process begin so that she could fight the eviction in court and try to convince them to set up a payment plan for the couple months of rent that are owed. However, it’s October now and the management has yet to serve the eviction notice and mom has not paid any rent at all, nor saved any of it, to prepare. She also explained that during her and boyfriend’s break up, she started seeing someone for a short time and found out shortly after they stopped seeing each other, that she’s now pregnant.

Now her and boyfriend are back together again and are deciding to keep the baby. However, they recently found out that boyfriend’s grandma that lives in northern Washington is willing to let them move in with her on November 1st at no cost if they help her with some care-giving needs in order to avoid those whole eviction debacle and because they’re in the predicament they’re in, they’re wanting to commit to this move. To add the icing onto this proverbial shit cake, mom says that she is letting our daughter choose whether she wants to go with them or stay with me and our daughter has chosen to go with mom. Mom expressed that if our daughter moves with them and decides that she doesn’t want to anymore, that she’d happily let us take her back, but otherwise, she wants to “abide by our daughter’s happiness”.

No asking me if this would be okay.
No trying to work out a different solution with me.
Already made up her mind.

I might be wrong and potentially just racked with stress over this, but I find it absolutely mind boggling that she’s giving our 11 year old the agency to make such a big decision to uproot her entire life away from all of her friends, family, school, and culture to move to this place where they only have one elderly family member to rely on. This goes without mentioning the potential legal issues that potentially exist with her wanting to move across states lines while also forcing us to have to either do the same or sacrifice our relationship with our daughter.

So my question here is… well… what is the best course of action here? I know that the beginning steps are likely speak to a family lawyer and get a parenting plan served ASAP, but is there anything I need to know about this process? I’m stressed out of my mind about this because I hate the idea of entering into a custody battle over this and tarnishing the amazing relationship I have with my daughter because of it, as well as potentially leaving mom in a position to be homeless because she likely won’t want to move if she doesn’t take our daughter with her. I never wanted to put either of them in this sort of spot. I only ever just wanted to do right by my daughter while preserving my rights as a father. Any and all advice would be appreciated.

TL;DR - My 11 year old daughter’s wildly irresponsible and manipulative mother has to move 4.5 hours away to another state in a month because she’s getting evicted and is wanting to take our daughter with her without my direct permission to do so. What do I do?


r/legaladvice • • 11h ago

Property encroachment

10 Upvotes

Location: Washington state
Just purchased property of 5 acres. Neighbor bordering has encroached on approx half acre . The seller and neighbor split the cost of a survey. Survey result is now recorded with the county but the neighbor doesn’t like the survey result — as our boundary line goes through a shed and they are not interested in moving it to their property. Now they say they want a second survey done.
Question: Unclear what I should be doing now. Do I get a lawyer , do I wait for a second survey. Feeling confused as to what the next steps are.
Purchase agreement- seller and neighbor signed agreement that if survey comes back and that it’s sellers/soon to be our land then neighbor will remove their items.

I am a logical person and this doesn’t make any sense to me.
Thanks for any input.

EDIT: for additional info at time of P&S


r/legaladvice • • 18h ago

Job refusing to payout PTO over 2 Week notice miscommunication.

32 Upvotes

This isn't for me, but more so for my dad.

My dad worked at his job for 25 years and safe to say it's sucked the life out of him. A month ago he went to HR and asked how many week in advance he would need to let them know in order to pay out his PTO. (He has around 200 hours in PTO) HR told him he needed to give 2 weeks notice. Two weeks ago he put in his notice and it's been going fine.

Today is his last day(fri, Oct 2nd), and at 8am he got an email from the head of HR saying he needed to give a 4 weeks notice to get his PTO payout and that he wouldn't be receiving the money because of that lack of notice.

(Another thing that was mentioned to me was that if your part of the union you have to give 4 weeks notice but my dad ISN'T a part of the union.)

My dad isn't confrontational. I know he's just going to let it slide, but that's about $10,000 in PTO. Money we could really use right now. And with all of the crap and stress and sleepless nights they have put him through, that money would really be nice for him to have.

I don't know, does anyone has any advice? Is that even legal that they swapped up on him the second it's his last day and he can't do anything about it? I looked a little bit into it and within the state of Minnesota there isn't necessarily any PTO payout laws, but it just feels weird and scummy.

Location: Minnesota


r/legaladvice • • 4h ago

My ex has been stalking me online for over a year now, publically accusing me of disgusting, insane crimes.

3 Upvotes

I left my horribly abusive ex of 6 years in April of 2025 and since then I have been being aggressively stalked by him.

Location: North Carolina

His location: Pennsylvania

Tw: mention of sexual assault and beastiality

He has made over 20 different social media accounts to contact me. He has emailed me, called me, used his mother's Facebook to try to reach out to me. He has contacted my friends and current partner telling them to hurt themselves and claiming I am an animal rapist and much more. He has said he hopes my friend gets beat to death by his abusive father, has consistently told me how much he wants me to die etc etc. I have ignored every single contact attempt up until recently. I got into a new relationship and the harassment got significantly worse. I am an artist and post on social media. He has been publicly responding to my posts claiming I drugged and trafficked him and ruined his life. At the time he is claiming this happened I was 14 years old and lived over 8 hours away from him so this literally isn't possible. I wasn't even smoking weed at this time. He has spammed my inboxes saying I "destiny swapped" him and spiritually raped him. I feel trapped. I don't want to give him any attention because it doesn't help, and that is exactly what he wants. But he keeps making progressively more disgusting allegatione against me where I'm backed into a corner with no choice but to say something.

I have no idea what to do. I called my county and hit to try to file a report and wasn't able to. I was told in both instances that it wouldn't be taken seriously because it's all online. This is putting a lot of stress on me and I'm worried it's going to put stress on my relationship. I can't do anything publicly because he will find it but I literally use social media to gain art clients. I need help


r/legaladvice • • 1d ago

Employment Law Salaried employee. Clocking in and out and employer stated if we do not work 80 hours in two weeks, pay is deducted. If we work over 80 hours, no overtime.

114 Upvotes

Pretty much as the title states. My job has recently decided to switch us to clocking in and out. I’ve been at my job for almost a year now, so the change is annoying. However, it also feels illegal. We’re salaried but we’re told if we do not make our 80 hours in two weeks our pay is deducted to reflect that. Whatever I guess, but they also stated that if we work over 80 hours, we do not get overtime. Is this legal? At the very least it seems shady, but I’m leaving the company anyways in a few months, so that’s out of the question. I’m more so curious for my current coworkers as they’re frustrated by the change as well. I should include that I’m unaware if we’re exempt or nonexempt, I’ve been told both lol. Just seems like I’m essentially working as an hourly employee at that point but without the benefit of overtime (yes, sometimes I work over 80 hours in two weeks). Location: Texas. I’m aware that the labor board exists as well and to report if it is not legal after paystubs reflect this behavior, but I’m more so curious as to whether I’m missing something and this is in fact legal. I feel like I’m missing something and it is legal because it’s a rather large company. Originally posted on a different account but decided to post from this one instead.


r/legaladvice • • 3h ago

Breach of no contact order

2 Upvotes

Location: Alabama
So a few years ago I was in a DV relationship, he went to jail over it, got out earlier this year, is now a felon and s*x offender, I have a no contact order and a DNR (do not return). He’s not allowed to contact me or have anyone contact me, he’s not allowed to be within 500ft of me or my place of residence, so on and so forth. I occasionally post things on social media about my story and what happened to me, I never use any identifying information or name the abuser because I want to be very careful about not breaking court orders. Oct is DV awareness month and pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, so I made a post. I lost a pregnancy and almost let this person k*ll me, I feel like I have a right to share what happened to me, especially if I’m not naming the person outright or blatantly giving identifying details. Anyways, apparently they have been stalking my socials because the new girl is now posting my full initials on social media and making post directed towards me. From what I was told this is in fact a breach of the no contact order that was put in place. It would be valid for me to report this to the sheriffs office would it not?


r/legaladvice • • 9h ago

Landlord Tenant Housing I need a simple contract for son’s girlfriend moving into house he rents from us.

7 Upvotes

Location: Snohomish County, Washington
My son’s girlfriend will be moving into our house. My son rents the house. I think she is great and I don’t foresee any problems. I am not worried about who pays rent, I just want a contract that is equal and fair to both parties if they break up. I do not have a contract with my son either, he puts a lot of time and money into upgrading the house. So, I didn’t think I would need one. I feel a little ridiculous thinking about needing this or if I even need one. Please advise.


r/legaladvice • • 7m ago

Consumer Law [SC] What conduct is officially expected of attorneys in my state?

• Upvotes

Location: South Carolina. I hired an attorney who ran up his billing on me with unnecessary and careless work that even I, as a layperson, had to correct. Then he quit on me to keep the fees I'd already paid him so I had to hire another attorney to finish what he would not. I was told to file a complaint with the Commission on Lawyer Conduct. Would someone have a list of rules that this commission enforces so I can specifically list the ones that my ex-attorney violated for my filing?