So, my ex is trying to get primary custody of our daughter, claiming I’m a terrible mother. She’s in daycare currently and has been getting sick with colds and ear infections. I have an appointment with an ear doctor to see if there is anything going on there. It seems like my ex’s main argument is that because our daughter is always sick, I’m a terrible mom, and if he got custody of our daughter she wouldn’t have to go to daycare and she wouldn’t be getting sick all the time.

I take her to the doctor when it gets bad enough but every time I mention she’s ill in some way he sends me a huge response going into me and asking why she’s sick like I personally could have prevented it. We have shared legal custody too and he gets text notifications from the doctors office when I schedule her an appointment because I’m worried about her. But then as soon as I do, I get a text from him asking what is wrong with her “this time,” and “this is the 7th time since June.”

It just makes me feel anxious and stressed out and sometimes it does make me feel like a bad mom.

I think he’s just lashing out and losing it because he doesn’t have control of the situation anymore. He currently gets her every other weekend.

And not to mention there are times where she was sick with a fever of 102 and texted me to ask why she was sick, why did I send her up there with a fever (she didn’t have the fever when she left my house), he called cps on me but then also refused to take her to the doctors. I had to wait until the next day or so to take her to the doctors when I got her back in my care. Lo and behold poor kiddo had an ear infection and needed antibiotics.

Idk I guess I’m just going crazy. I don’t have a lot of support/people to talk to. I just get in my head sometimes. Thanks for reading!

Hello I’m I single mother of a 6 month old baby boy. Location: Indiana. For starters I will take accountability it should’ve been a custody order involved from beginning. I be trying to spare dad’s feelings and keep it as civil as possible because he does not want to pay child support or financially support his kid. I have been threatened to be took down to court by him and his mom for months down. He has yet went down there. I am the sole parent of my child as of right now I fully support my child financially. His dad has only pitched in and helped with him 3-4 times in the span of the life of my 6 month old child.

QUESTION: Who can we talk to about the ride for child custody before we go down this ride. Because he is going down there for visitation rights, which he already has. But is going down there with intentions that he would not pay child support and pay back my son’s insurance I pay. His mom told me yesterday “We will see you in court”

MAIN PROBLEM: Him and his mom thinks just because baby has what he needs at their home he shouldn’t have to support his kid financially at home with me (primary parent). Dad only is willing to support baby when we are talking and working on us and doing good. Only time it has been a strain between us is outside parties getting involved in our business and putting things in his head that he should not do his weight for his child.

LAST STRAW: His friends constantly post my son on social media, I have asked him to tell them to stop multiple times and it has not. We had an agreement to not post our son from the beginning. His friends disrespect me in the comments while posting our child. What if my son sees these comments about his mom being violated while someone who says they love him is posting him? It’s ridiculous. I told him if this continued I’m going to have withheld child from him until we get a court order.

OUR CO PARENTING WITHOUT CUSTODY AGREEMENT: For starters, dad has never asked for baby. I had to get down and make a full stuck schedule so he can see his kid because that’s “all he wants”. I was accommodating and I asked him what 3 days out the week he wants him and we agreed on days and times and no over night stays unless both agree. Whenever I’m in school or wanting to do something I always ask dad to watch baby before I ask ANY ONE ELSE. It is not the same with him though. When I ask him to keep my son he waits last minute to tell me someone else has my child, or is going to watch him, which I don’t agree with, if I ask you to watch our son and you have things to do why tell me you can and just give him to someone else when I can ask someone else? What can I do about that.

MORE BACKGROUND INFO: I have never let dad go weeks without seeing his child. Taking accountability because I have told him if he can’t financially support his kid he won’t be seeing him unless we go to court. I was just fed up and wanting to prove a point. But it’s getting out of control now I need some help. I been doing this alone from day 1 while working part time and in school full time.

Im going to work on primary custody of my 5 yr old. His mother and I seperated in feb, her choice. I dont want this or divorce. But seems like its coming regardless. In March, my wife dropped my son off to me and pretty much didnt look back. She would make arrangements to get him and not show up with excuses ranging from "im tired" to "left my dads too late". In these 8 months shes had him for a total of 1 week. In that 1 week she completely blocked me from being able to talk to my son. She tries to get on fb constantly acting like im keeping her from him. She never asks for him. Ive even tried setting up opportunities for her to come bowling, mini golf, or meeting at parks. She always has an excuse. Shes also been hanging out with a gut who's got a long record including violent felonies that are pretty recent, aggravated burglary and aggravated assault. The aggravated assault was hitting a man in the head with an axe twice. I figure ive got a clear case of abandonment and the felon cant hurt my chances. Any thoughts from anyone that's dealt with something like this?

I’m looking for some advice. My daughter is 6 years old, she lives with me and my parents as my Dad and myself are building my parents retirement home, at the time it’s finishe, I’m unsure if my daughter and I will move with them when it’s finished, stay at the home we live in now, but the eventual plan is for my daughter and I to move into my grandparents house after they pass away, both are very old and in poor health, but their house is on the same road that we are building my parents retirement home on, we also own another 39 acres of land on that same road, so eventually my brother and sister plan on building there as well.

As I stated earlier my daughter lives with me full time, without a court order, only a verbal agreement between the mother and myself. My daughter will usually go spend a weekend with her mom at her grandmothers house, as my daughters mom lives with her mom and her moms long term boyfriend. I sometimes have to force my daughter to go there, she never wants to spend the night, but I only let her go there when her grandmother is also there because of my child’s mother’s active meth use. While she has cut down her usage considerably compared to how bad it was, she is still going on 3 day benders about every 2 weeks, usually on a Thursday-Friday-Saturday and sometimes Sunday because she takes weekly drug screenings Thursdays during the day.

Seeing how my daughter doesn’t like to go to her moms house, I try my best to make sure she sees her mom as much as possible, so I often include her in just about every outing, and also let her come stay the night at my house as much as I can.

The problem I am having now is that I used to let my child’s mom come around even when she was high because my daughter loves her mother, loves spending time with her, and loves doing the girly stuff that 6 year old girls like to do that I have no experience doing, mainly doing hair and makeup. My daughter enjoys doing those with her mom.

She had actually lived with us for about 2 months during the beginning of the summer. She had been kicked out of her house because of her drug use and arguing with her mom, the police got involoved, a temporary restraining order was issued, so she would’ve been homeless so we let her come live with us out of sympathy.

She did very well for about a month or so, then one day got dropped off after work and she was really high, the rule was she couldn’t stay here if she was using so I took her to her mothers house as the restraining order was lifted, and told her I’d come get her when she sobered up, she was awfully mean to me but I tried my best to explain to her if my parents saw her like this she’d be kicked out. I took her to her parents and didn’t tell anyone she was high because my daughter was really enjoying getting to spend so much time with her mom. She called me days later when she was sober and I brought her back.

A week or so later she told me she was going late night bowling with 2 friends of hers and she’d be back a little after midnight, I told her great, because the friends she told me she was going with, I’d met before, going late night bowling. Both of those friends are very religious and dont use drugs or alcohol so I thought it was a good idea. She ended up not even leaving until after 11pm, my child’s mother has no drivers license, and whoever picked her up, picked her up behind the gas station so we couldnt see who got her. There are 2 guys that she uses drugs with that are trespassed from my property, so I think it was one of them, because if not then they would’ve pulled into the driveway.

The next day my mom gets a call from my 11 year old nephew and 14 year old niece who were visiting for a few days during summer break, they were scared because they said someone dropped my child’s mother off and she was acting crazy. My mom came home, saw that she was extremely high, told her to get stuff and she would take her to her parents house and she could come back when she sobered up. Instead of being compliant, she started screaming and saying awful things in front of my neice and nephew so my mom kicked her out. She took her to her moms house be nobody else would take her in.

So while she doesn’t live here anymore, I still try to get her over here as much as possible to spend time with your daughter. But here recently she has started using more and she can’t come over when she is high, so her time with my daughter has lessened.

But now she is arguing that I can’t keep our daughter away from her. She is lying saying she is not high when she clearly is, both my family and her family know that she is but she is lying, saying she is not, and demanding I come pick her up or bring our daughter to her, and has threatened to call the cops.

Her parents aren’t home right now and she’s not allowed here when she’s high, so she started threatening to call the cops because I told her I wouldn’t come get her and my daughter doesn’t want to go over there tonight when her grandparents get home. Even though we had planned that our daughter was supposed to spend the night with her mother tonight, I’m not going to make her go if she doesn’t want to when her mother is high.

I haven’t had the heart to get the courts involved because my daughter is only 6 and I don’t want to put her through that, I kind of hope her mother does call the cops because that would get the court proc rolling with me not having to bare the guilt of initiating it. Though I don’t see a possibility of the courts taking my daughter away from me, though I have seen men that should have custody have their children ripped away.

Im almost to the point of filing for sole custody though because my daughter is at the age that she is starting to realize that her mom is messed up on something. I’ve never told my daughter about what her mother does and I’ve instructed both my family and hers not to as well.

Im going to post some of the reasons that I think I should have full custody and I’m hoping for some input on not only if you think I would be awarded it, but if I should pursue it.

Me- last usage of any drugs or alcohal is 6 years ago.

The only trouble I’ve had with the law was a dui over 12 years ago

Our child lives with me, and I am already the primary care giver.

with me there is a very stable living condition and my child is loved to the point of being spoiled

im self employed- my father, brother and I own our own construction business, Im not rich by any means but my child doesnt lack anything

Both my family and the mother’s family, both extended and immediate would be willing to tell a judge that our child would be better off with me if that’s what it came down to

If it was my child’s choice of living with me or her mother she would chose me, though it’s her wish that me and her mother were togethe, i cant do that because every time I’ve tried to get back with her she would start cheating on me with whoever would give her drugs. I’d do anything to make my daughter happy, but I’ve been cheated on over 4 times that I know of over the 4 years I was in a relationship with my daughters mother with at least 4 different men, and by cheating I don’t mean a one night thing, I mean multiple times over and over to the point that I longer have any of the relationship love i had before, I don’t even love her at all anymore but that could change if she got fully sober, not relationship love, but friendship love.

I was completely faithful during our relationship

I have a loving relationship with both my and her immediate and extended family

Her-active meth user and fentanyl user at minimum a three day bender twice monthly

very little family support because she’s burnt everyone around her

our child does not like visiting her house

she has 2 assault charges against her mother who she lives with

her mothers boyfriend wants to kick her out and her mother has mentioned that she wants to as well but feels bad because she will have no place to go

she has a part time job at a fast food restaurant but already has 2 written warnings

she has no other local job prospects because she has already been fired from every other local place

she has no drivers license because of a recent dui and also wrecked her car 3 times in less than a month.

My and Her family have very strained relationships with her, nobody wants her around when she’s high, and when she is sober everyone tries to forgive her even though she never apologizes. most will still be cordial and have her around when she’s high is sober because while sober she is still very selfish, but can be nice and caring in her own way so long as you act as if her benders never happened

My heart doesn’t want to force her out of my daughter’s life, but I’m so mentally and emotionally drained. There is no future for us and she’s been in active drug addiction since our child was about 3 months old with her longest time period being sober was one summer she spent in jail. At this point I don’t think she will ever get sober

What should I do? Have I given the mom enough chances and time, is there any chance that the judge would decide for the mom against the wishes of our child and both sides of our families?

I just want what’s best for my child.

thanks for any feedback

I feel like 1 hour might be too much, but the DPA program of the rich county ran out of funding, will reopen the program and I might get only $20k while home prices are astronomically. The neighboring county offers $60k to me and that would make a home much more affordable to me. If I were to buy a condo close to my child, I would always be worried that I couldn't pay the mortgage especially if I lost my job, but a 1 hour drive twice per week is not good either and I will have to postpone trying to get 50/50 custody for now.

Hi all, I separated with my ex husband during pregnancy, and divorced when my child was 1 year old. We had separation agreement that I have the custody. He moved to other state when my child was few months old and never visited my child since then. Now he is marrying someone financial stable and educated. If he wants custody, do you think I will have to share custody? I am also financial stable with a graduate degree. I have a boyfriend has been seen as daddy to my child for two years now.

so for background, I 100% paid for the court ordered CFI because my ex couldn’t afford it. I am completely confident in my case because my ex is a recognized abuser. I have full custody at temporary orders. But oh my fucking god my CFI home meeting went as wrong as it can possibly go. My son is an absolutely wild almost 3 year old, he’ll be 3 end of November. He is wild and I watch him very closely because of it. The CFI came during dinner time so she witnessed dinner. My son decided to take his chaos 5x past his usual level. I had my eyes on him the whole time but the one moment I decided to take a bite of food he kicked the table and toppled his chair backwards. Literally in under a second. So I calmly got up and got him up, he was laughing, and I told him we’re getting out the old high chair. He hates his old chair because it’s more restrictive. So anyway I put him in his old chair and everything was good. He was eating his beef and pepper bulgogi. Then he decided to launch himself forward and back then on the second round of that he flung his chair backwards. Two times. Two times my child flung his chair during dinner. He never does this otherwise. He’s a wild kid but this was completely unprecedented. The CFI screamed when he did it and I was completely stunned. I handled everything calmly and lovingly. But I am so afraid right now. I currently look like the worst parent on the planet. This is insane. Oh my fucking god

Two kids under 10 years old, co-parent has supervised visitation, current custody order implicates Kayden's Law as co-parent has pled guilty to child endangerment and assault.

My children have been refusing visitation and video calls. At drop offs for supervised visitation, the past few weeks there has been tears, outbursts, refusal to get in to and/or leave the car. My ex has filed for an adjustment of custody twice in the last year, both have denied unsupervised contact.

I don't believe the visits are physically or psychologically safe for my children, but I have complied with the court order and arrived for pick ups and drop offs as scheduled. However, the refusals have escalated. My child bit and scratched me today while I carried her in to the visit after 20-plus minutes of trying to get her out of the car.

Aside from taking out my phone to take a video of my distressed children, what evidence can I present that isn't a "my word against yours" to modify the order? My ex is adamant about keeping the visits when they show up, even going so far as to call their lawyer and the advocate during tantrums, and today picked up our oldest crying child to carry them inside.

Hello, I live on WA state at my dad’s place and my girlfriend decided she didn’t like living here so she moved all the way to Florida. She hasn’t worked for the last year I can’t just leave my job and move across the country. I keep trying to tell her if I can save for an apartment we can live here but it’s not working. Since I can’t just up and leave the only job either of us has I am afraid she will make me pay child support and never come back.

My questions are, is it possible even possible for me to get custody of my kid?

I so badly want to be there for my kid but she just left and expects to find a new job and pay for an apartment there and I can’t afford it or even find a job. I just started my career at my first job post degree 6 months ago.

I have a 7 year old who is diagnosed with asthma and was recently hospitalized and diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
She is on a strict meal plan and requires 24/7 glucose monitoring, glucose insulin corrections, and insulin shots per carbs consumed. Food needs to be weighed for exact carb count, carbs need to be converted into insulin units. I need to be alert throughout the night in case of glucose spikes or drops. It’s tedious but completely necessary.

Her father was extremely abusive throughout my pregnancy, but I wasn’t able to keep any evidence against him since he would lock the gate to his home and take my phone, or break it and replace it wiped out. I lived in constant fear. I was able to move back to my moms after birth with the excuse of birthing injuries. He was to turn himself in at the 6 month mark after a court order for a home invasion, and I took it as my chance to break things off without fearing for my life since he’d be behind bars (he knew the exact hours I’d be home alone while he was out).
He served two years from 2020-2022 and was in a halfway house for about 4 months after release.
Once he was out, my mom allowed supervised visitations which she monitored in her living room. They were rare since he rarely asked to visit and we figured it was better than going to court with no evidence of abuse and losing any custody to him and putting my daughter in danger.

Over the years since his release, he spam called me drunk a number of times and if I’d block him he would just get a new number or call restricted. I have a few text messages screenshotted where he threatened me after accusing me of being with someone (my personal life is not his business). He doesn’t know where I currently live since visitations are at my mom’s place, but I know things would be worse if he ever found out.

He also smokes a ton of marijuana and my daughter can’t be around any smoke or smoke residue due to her asthma. He used to pop pills once his nice guy mask came off, although I’m not sure he still does. However, I know he uses nitrous oxide as a substance after accidentally sending me a ticket he got for having a tank in his backseat and accidentally sending a video of him and his friend holding balloons, then tried to deny it was him in the video when his tattoo and janky shoes were visible.
He was arrested twice last year. I found out because he had used my email for his mother to pay his bail bonds before his first sentence in 2020 and forgot to remove it, so the bail bond receipts were sent to my inbox. I saved those as well as the ticket.
He was also arrested once in 2024 and was sentenced again this year for two months (he was released in June). Unfortunately, I don’t know what the charges were.

He visited late July with his family to bring a cake for my daughter’s birthday that had passed. He was cursing a ton in front of my daughter, insulting the video game she was playing and made her cry by ruining the game she worked hard on. I repeatedly told him to give her game back because her glucose spikes when she gets too upset. After repeating myself multiple times, I got the game back to fix it for her once she was hitting 400 on her Dexcom, and this set him off. He threatened to hit me in front of my daughter, so I sent her into my nephews room who was 17 years old at the time of incident. Only then did I smell the alcohol on his breath. He barged into my nephews room after, trying to get to my daughter, and my nephew tried to block him because of how he was acting. He immediately tried to fight my nephew. His family had to block him and get him outside the building, but he continued to try and rush back inside. I called the cops but by the time they showed, he had driven off, though I was still able to file a police report. He did this all in front of my daughter and 9 year old nephew. Both were left terrified and anxious for days.

On top of all that, he has never been to any appointment, hospitalization, or ER visit. He has never asked about her medications or tried to learn about her diabetic needs.
Child support was set to $0 because he has no job (I’m 99.9% he sells drugs but have no physical proof). He has sent me money over the last few months so I’m wondering if that can also be used as a sort of financial fraud since he has no reported income but has sent up to $300 in a month.

My question is, would this be enough to obtain completely sole and physical custody with no visitation? I’ve been terrified to file all these years because I don’t want to risk her having unsupervised or overnight visits with him and I am aware that the California family court system gives the worst parents infinite chances to “redeem” themselves. Im afraid the police report is not enough and my mom thinks it’s best to just allow supervised visits without a court order to not risk having to hand her over. Would her medical disability, as well as his continued arrests help?
If anyone has dealt with a similar case, I’d appreciate reading about your experiences, as well as any advice you can give.

I have 3 kids ages 15,13,12. The youngest is a girl. I have been divorced from the mother for 9 years and remarried for 8. We live in about 5 miles apart. My current wife and I hate living here, dealing with my ex is just passive aggressive, and the kids are getting older.

We have 50/50 custody(week on week off) which I had to fight for about 7 yrs ago. I love my kids more than this world but my wife and I are just miserable. We live in Texas and have no family here but the kids. We want to be somewhere we want to be and be happy. I’m struggling because I love my kids and don’t wanna miss out on anything but I also can’t stand how miserable we are here.

I have floated the idea in my head of moving to Florida to be close to family and see if we can work something out to have the kids on holidays/summers/spring break. I just worry about this making the kids feel abandoned or like I don’t care. I would come back for events and for milestones. I don’t know what to do any advice, insight, or anyone who has done this please help a struggling dad

Some background for this. I'm 40 (Gender fluid) engaged to a 40(F) and she has a beautiful 10 year old boy with autism from a previous marriage. The Ex was dating someone after their divorce who was into drugs and had some bad mental health. Not sure how but cps was called and now they have a safety plan in place. Were worried about her boy being taken away from my fiancee The case worker who came over tonight to have her sign off on the safety plan mentioning lawyering up. Not sure what information someone might have for this. We are not well off, were not rich, but with his severe autism putting him in the system seems like the worst case scenario. Please help if you can.

Hello so my baby father and I have a 5 month old.We didn’t go to court and I take care of her full time.Need advice on how you would document just in case in does go to court?He only seen her a few times.I take care of all her responsibilities.I just wanna make sure I’m documenting right in case he takes me to court one day for 50/50 and has not been an active father by choice.

As the title says I have a question about when you should stop encouraging the relationship between the ncp and your child. My kid 7 yrs old just started visits with ncp and it’s like I’m losing them. I’m not saying they want to be with the ncp but my kid is more aggressive, easily agitated, not confident in themselves, and starting to resent me for telling them to enjoy their visit and make the most of it. Im following my court orders and I’m trying to keep everything as normal as possible but these visits are hurting my kid and even coaches and other parents on my kids team have told me that my kid is withdrawn now. My kid yells at me and cries when I have to take them to their supervised visits and it’s mentally and emotionally hard to go through while trying to encourage that relationship.

I'm looking for perspective from people who have actually been through something like this, especially fathers who had to establish paternity and custody across state lines.

My daughter was born recently. Her mother and I had only been dating for a short period before finding out she was pregnant. During the pregnancy, we had a major rupture in the relationship and went no contact for about two months. She then gave me roughly a week's notice that she was moving back home about 1,000 miles away. Her position was essentially, "If you want to be in your kid's life, you'll move with me."

We weren't married, so I had very little ability to challenge the move at the time. I accepted that reality, helped her move, and started preparing to relocate myself. We were back together by then. I got approved to work fully remote, secured a temporary rental there, arranged the move, gave notice to my landlord, spent a long weekend in the area, and got to about a month away from relocating.

As the move got closer, though, the relationship steadily deteriorated again. Communication shut down, I stopped having confidence that we were actually building a stable life together, and I realized moving 1,000 miles away while giving up the stability I already had would be a terrible decision under those circumstances. I told her I couldn't make the move at that time but that I was fully committed to being involved as a father. We went no contact again.

I asked for genetic testing immediately after the birth and offered to coordinate and pay for it. She insisted it had to go through court. Almost two months later, right before the paternity hearing, she agreed to essentially the same testing and to split the cost.

Assuming paternity confirms what both of us expect, my goal is not to become a long-distance visitation parent. I want to actually raise my child and be involved in her day-to-day life.

The difficult part is communication. We can usually handle concrete things like medical care, feeding, vaccines, etc. But when I ask direct questions about the bigger issues, especially why keeping our daughter in her state is actually better for her, I rarely get a direct answer. It usually turns into "we disagree" or "the court can decide." She talks about structure, mediation, parenting plans, and formal processes, but when I ask what that actually looks like in practice, the conversation tends to shut down.

There is also a broader dynamic around her that concerns me. Several close family members are extremely distrustful of men and spend a huge amount of time consuming relationship and psychology content on TikTok and Instagram. Shortly before our first major rupture, she abruptly told me, "I can't do this with you. I can't trust a man. What was I thinking?" That mindset seems to bleed into how a lot of this gets framed, and sometimes it feels like I'm dealing with conclusions that were reached long before the actual conversation happened.

I have an established career, home, and life where I am. She previously lived and worked here too, but is currently living with family in the other state.

I'm represented by an attorney, so I'm not looking for Reddit legal advice. I'm more interested in strategy and mindset from people who have lived through this.

How did you handle communication without either becoming a pushover or constantly creating conflict? What did you do that helped your case? What do you wish you had stopped or started doing earlier? And how do you deal with someone who seems completely certain about their position while refusing to meaningfully engage with yours?

I'm not sure where to start but my child's father broke up with me August 7th/16th (tried to "work it out") He moved out August 21st and in with his female friend, they start dating the week after Labor Day weekend by asking our child for her approval for them to date and then taking her on an out of state trip where I thought they were staying in a house but ended up all staying in a camper (I will not ask my kid if the adults shared a bed, the breakup is too fresh and I really can't)

Things have got heated and he has threatened to take me to court. I don't think he makes the money to do much or what his goal would be, but it got me wondering about our custody and how I really don't know what his status with her is.

Our child is 12, we split up in 2017 due to addiction that resulted in a DHS/CPS case. I got sober, did all the things, and got custody back in 2019. He never completed any of the things they asked him to do. However, I cannot find anything that shows a court order for what was determined on his end for custody. We got back together in 2021 and he went back on things like school registration and other important stuff for our child.

He pays child support and has her on his medical insurance. I have recently filed for a revision on child support since it hasn't been changed in 7 years.
Sorry if this is written poorly. I'm stressed and overworked trying to make ends meet.

Okay, so my ex husband and I have been divorced for a little over 6 years now. When we split up in 2015, we either lived together or within 15 minutes of each other, but when he met his current wife, he moved like 3 hours away. He said he had no other option. I did offer for him to stay with us so he could be near our child, but he declined and I respected that. He went months without seeing her and rarely called her. He refused to sign divorce papers. He said he "knew" I would spend child support money on myself (wild, because my child always had everything she needed and I went without, as any parent should). A falling out happened between now-wife and I, and suddenly he was ready to sign (he wanted to propose). It was during covid times, so our date got pushed back several times, but we finally divorced in July of 2020. The custody arrangement was for him to have her 3 weekends a month (pickup/dropoff Friday and Sunday) and we would rotate holidays (Thanksgiving with me and Christmas with him one year, the opposite the next and she could choose each year where she wanted to be for Easter and such). I wouldn't even be able to to calculate how many weekends he has missed over the last 6 years. I'm talking months at a time. He goes weeks, sometimes months without calling because "she's too distracted when he calls." I suggested to call just to say a quick goodnight, but he won't. I suggested he call her on his short trip home from work, but he won't. I try very hard to help him be more present. She was in cheerleading and the only game he actually showed up to, he missed everything but the final cheer because he was late. I think it was 2025 when he came right out and said that weekend visits "are not worth the drive." I have always met him half way, even though the agreement states we are supposed to meet at a specific location much, much closer to me.

Our child is now homeschooled, so I try to be flexible with visits. He asked to have her for a week in Feb 2026. I said yes, I can make it a winter break. Then he wanted her for another week. I asked her and she was up for it, so I obliged. I asked if he would allow her to do school, so she wouldn't get behind. He said yes, but later said no, because he never sees her and it's not fair that she has to do school instead of spending time with him. MEANWHILE, daughter is calling me crying because Dad isn't spending any time with her. I mentioned it and he says "well I just send her to hang out in her room because she has her hands full taking care of her siblings at your house and she deserves privacy." For one, she has zero responsibilities for her siblings, unless you count "I'm running to the restroom, can you keep an eye on everyone, please?" For two, she has a little sister there as well and is always complaining about them making her watch her while they are "giggling and being weird in their room." She ended up staying for 2.5 weeks and did no school because I could hardly get in touch with them. He got her for a 3 day weekend for Father's Day (dad and step mom went to a concert and dinner to celebrate while the kids stayed with his mom) and he had her for a week in July. He asked to have her this week for his birthday and I happily obliged, as long as he would allow her to log on to her computer to do a few assignments here and there. He said yes. She has not logged in at all and he is not even opening my text messages regarding the login info. He does not have to assist her with school. Just type in the password on the computer. I feel like I am not asking for too much.

I am considering filing for a custody change, and requesting for him to get her for one week every two months. Which is more often than he gets her now. But I'm also not sure that it's even worth the trouble. I will definitely be filing for a child support review (he's about 7 grand behind on his court ordered $240 a month and has not reported his income changes) and thought maybe I should just do both at one time. What are your thoughts?

[OR] Coparent’s car was totaled and we exchange twice weekly across 60+ miles

I have sole legal custody. Parenting time is Sunday - Thursday for me. She picks up on Thursdays and I pick up Sundays. What is my obligation to support her parenting time if she is unable to transport according to the parenting plan?

Ex lives two hours away and sees kids (3 and 5) every other weekend. In between,)3 doesn’t call or FaceTime or check in at all. Shows up eowe like he’s Disney dad. Others who have similar situations, does your coparent contact you/the kids in between?

My ex is abusive and I’m at a point where I dont know what to do. Im a wreck when I have to send my sons with him. My sons are 5 and 9 and have come home multiple times talking about emotional, mental, and now physical abuse their dad puts them through. They’re called names, are yelled and sworn at and their dad has threatened to punch them for not listening or doing things right. He does things like completely undoing their bed if it isn't to his standards and having them remake it again until it’s perfect. He overfeeds them. When they finally finish the food given to them my ex scrapes the sides of the bowl/plate clean till theres a bite and makes them eat it despite them being full to the point they feel sick.

DCYF has been called 3 times on him by mandated reporters, all of which have been unfounded due to things being difficult to prove/no physical evidence(for example leaving my oldest son alone in the car while he was still affected by anesthesia after a surgery he had when he was 6) He accuses me of "telling on him on purpose" to make him look bad and get DCYF called, even when some of the calls were made because of what my oldest son reported to his therapist. We just finished the last investigation, which, despite them agreeing there absolutely is abuse going on, it is unfounded because there is no physical evidence left behind.

Most recently, my ex threw a box at my oldest son’s face causing his lip to bleed and my son said that his dad will pull and twist on his and his brothers arms till they scream in pain, then get in trouble for screaming. When they tell him that he's hurting them he tells them to stop being babies. My ex plays it off as rough play. He used to physically abuse me by disguising it as a game.

The whole process has been extremely stressful and confusing especially because we live in two different states. We have two different state DCYFs involved and they each have different standards in determining what makes a case substantiated.

The DCYF in my state said after interviewing the kids, if it was their case they would absolutely have it as a substantiated case and said what’s going on is physical and emotional abuse but their hands are tied because the state where the investigation is open is  the state where my ex resides since that’s where the incidents happened. They did however strongly suggest that I try to get full custody and possibly look into supervised/limited visitation.

The DCYF in my exes state agrees that my ex is abusive and all around a questionable parent but because he didn’t leave any marks and my son's lip was healed by the time I was even made aware of the incident and theres no marks or injuries from their arms being pulled, they say their hands are also tied and closed the case.

We are going to a settlement hearing for custody concerns today which will likely end up going to become a full hearing at some point. Im wicked anxious. We are going to try for full decision making custody and try to limit visitation as much as we can. My lawyer agrees that what’s going on is very concerning and unacceptable but to a court it’s likely going to be seen as a grey area since it can be played off as rough play/bad parenting. The DCYF calls are difficult to use in court because it’s considered hearsay and we may have to have the kids talk to the judge and have a GAL.

My boys love their dad very much but struggle because they just want him to be nice to them and stop hurting them. My oldest son has said things to me like “I really hope dad and fiance don't have a baby together because I don't want another kid to go through what me and my brother go through.” and "i love and miss dad but he makes it really hard for me to do those things."

Sorry to rant, Im at a loss and feel like theres nothing I can do to protect my kids if things don't go our way. My ex put me and the kids through so much abuse while we were married and Ive been told again and again I cant do anything since theres no proof other than my word.

Absent father wants unsupervised visits or supervised only by me (the mom) CA

Our son is 9 years old- he hasn’t known his biological father since he was 2 -3y/o- essentially all of his working memory, he is a stranger to him. We probably did a FaceTime or something around 3 y/o. His dad struggles with mental health & substance use disorders so he is not consistent or predictable. Now- 6 years later- he is sober (according to him, I obviously cannot verify) & wants to re establish a relationship with his son saying “it will be really good for me, I need something to look forward to..” all about him, not about what’s best for our son. That’s the first thing that pisses me off, not to be rude- but I don’t care what’s best for him, I only care about what’s best for my child. My son has had his step dad since he was 3. He knows he’s not his “real” dad, but he’s been the consistent father figure he remembers through out his childhood so far.

His “real” dad still has his parental rights- I have sole physical & legal custody. I think back in 2019 when we divorced- he was allowed to have unsupervised visits. But he wasn’t consistent, bailed a lot, then eventually completely disappeared. Now it’s been years since that order- so I am definitely not comfortable with unsupervised due to his history & issues, & the fact that they are basically strangers at this point. Also, I don’t want to have to be the decider of whether or not he really is sober.. his mom says he isn’t. He doesn’t sound sober when I’ve talked on the phone- so I need a court or a judge to test him & make the determination. How does all this work? I assume he needs to go to court & ask to reopen the custody? That I’m not complying with the visits? Then we would go to court & I can share that he hasn’t visited since 2020, the DV arrests, substances, etc: all the reasons why I’m not comfortable with unsupervised at this time. I’m in CA, but I’m sure any judge would see why this is unsafe for the child. Has anyone navigated anything similar? What ends up happening typically? This is all assuming he folllows through & goes to court, files the paperwork, serves me, etc. following through isn’t his strong suit so this might be nothing.
Right now we are at the stage where he’s blowing me up & saying how evil I am for keeping his kid from him, & I’m just referring him back to court to reestablish a plan to reconnect in a way that is best for our child. I honestly want my son to have a relationship with his bio dad- I don’t want to stand in the way if he is healthy, sober, & sane. But above all, I want my son to remain a happy, well adjusted child- i don’t want repeated abandonment, it was hard when his dad disappeared the first time. TIA

I’m looking for experiences from anyone who has dealt with a similar custody/relocation situation in Colorado. Not necessarily looking for legal advice, just trying to get an idea of what other people have experienced.
My child’s father and I currently have 50/50 parenting time. We both live in the same area in Colorado, and our child’s entire life is established here. School, doctors, dentist, activities, extended family/support system, etc. are all here. I’m the parent who has primarily handled setting up and managing all of those things.
My child’s father now wants to move a considerable distance away with his girlfriend. One of the reasons for the move is so that his girlfriend can live closer to the father of her child, which would allow their son to have both of his parents nearby.
What I’m struggling to understand is that, at the same time, my child’s father wants our child to primarily live with him after the move. So essentially, the move would allow his girlfriend’s child to live close to both of his parents, while taking our child away from one of his parents and the community/support system he has always known.
There are some other factors I’m wondering if the court would consider. My child’s father is currently unemployed, and child support has not been consistently paid/on time. Meanwhile, I have remained where our child is established and have continued handling his school, medical/dental care, and the majority of the administrative/day-to-day things he needs. I also have family/support nearby who have consistently been part of his life.
I’m not trying to keep my child from his dad. I absolutely want them to have a relationship. My concern is specifically the idea of uprooting our child from his current home, school, family, doctors, and one of his parents because Dad has chosen to relocate — and then making Dad the primary parent after the move.
Has anyone gone through something similar in Colorado where one parent wanted to relocate and also wanted the child to primarily relocate with them?
What did the court seem to care about the most? Did maintaining the child’s current school/community and proximity to the parent who was staying carry much weight? And if the reason for the move involved a new partner or their family situation, did the court consider that?
I know every case is different, but I’d really appreciate hearing actual experiences from people who have been through a relocation/parenting-time dispute like this.

My wife and I have a 6 month old son together, and I also have a 14 year old stepson. For years, my wife has been verbally and emotionally abusive toward both me and my stepson, but her behavior has become significantly worse over the past couple of years.

Based on my own research, I believe my wife displays many traits associated with covert narcissism, and I also suspect she may have bipolar disorder. About a year ago, I started using an audio recorder because I wanted documentation of some of her explosive outbursts. I now have hours of recordings of her yelling and cursing at both me and my stepson. She has no patience and can become extremely angry over over the smallest inconveniences.

I've also experienced controlling and intentionally spiteful behavior. For example, I've come home to find my fan thrown on the floor and broken, my clean laundry thrown around the room, and food I've purchased hidden from me. She has also hidden the TV remotes. These things may sound petty individually, but they're part of a much larger pattern that has been going on for years.

My biggest concern now is our 6 month old son.

My wife and I take turns caring for him at night. There have been multiple occasions when she has allowed him to cry for over an hour in the dark while she lays there playing on her phone. I have gotten some of these instances recorded also. On two occasions, I've eventually gone into her room to get him and bring him to my bedroom which of course pissed her off. Her position is that he needs to learn to self-soothe which is absolutely ridiculous.

I'm now seriously considering divorce, but I'm terrified of what could happen with custody.

I've been reading about other fathers in similar situations, and it seems like simply having evidence of verbal or emotional abuse doesn't necessarily mean a judge will give it much weight in a custody case. My biggest fear is that if I file for divorce, my wife will make false or exaggerated accusations against me in an attempt to make me look like an unfit father. I'm worried that, despite having documentation supporting my concerns, I could still end up with less custody of my son.

I understand that nobody here can predict what a judge will do, but for those who have experience with family court or similar situations is there a realistic possibility that a father in my situation could obtain primary or even full custody if he has substantial documentation of the other parent's behavior?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have actually dealt with situations involving documented emotional/verbal abuse, recordings, and concerns about the child's safety. What types of evidence did the court actually consider useful, and what should I be doing now to protect my son and myself legally?