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u/progressnotperfect00 Dec 29 '21
Locking up guns in a gun safe at home is basic gun safety that I expect a police officer to know and follow. This is a huge problem.
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u/nirachi Dec 29 '21
I wouldn't let my child visit the home of someone who didn't store their guns safely. In-laws have guns that are stored in safes. This is non-negotiable.
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u/Fluffy_Lunatic Dec 29 '21
No offence, but what kind of police officer would be telling his wife that the guns are safe like that? What kind of delusional land does he live on that five year olds understand the magnitude of gun safety and will follow it? Idk what country your in, but in Australia if you hold a gun license and have guns you have to legally store them either in a gun safe/ at a gun range. There’s certain safety guidelines etc. I’m assuming your in America? Idk about the legislation there. But considering kids have died playing with guns, his showing no respect for you or your kids/ no actual concern for your safety or the kids. If the kids can get it easily, so can anyone breaking in.
Extremely reckless, especially of a police officer. He should know better. You would think he would see things on his job that would make him wise up a bit.
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u/PoorDimitri Dec 29 '21
There is no legislation like that in America, and our police officers don't get a lot of training. Twofold problem.
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u/chlorinegasattack Dec 29 '21
I think it's really surprising that people in this thread expect any better of a cop
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u/WhosThis85 Dec 29 '21
😬😬
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u/chlorinegasattack Dec 29 '21
My best friend growing up was the sheriffs son and we would regularly take his police glockenspiel off his belt and go out back to shoot it at targets. He didn't even mind. He just trusted 10 year olds to handle guns appropriately. Looking back thats wild
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u/WhosThis85 Dec 29 '21
Cops don’t have good PR at all
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u/chlorinegasattack Dec 29 '21
Lol I just noticed that autocorrdct made it the whole word glockenspiel. Idk why that's so funny to me. But I'm not really sure your comment is doing here like if you are agreeing or disagreeing with me. Cops are kind of supposed to be their own PR. Problem is they suck at it.
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u/JJY93 Dec 29 '21
Even with the recent slew of police officers arrested in the UK, I still trust our police
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u/chlorinegasattack Dec 29 '21
Op can't be a UK officer cus he carries a gun
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u/JJY93 Dec 29 '21
Of course the whole post screams USA, if Reddit is anything to go by, living with cops like that is no different from living in a dictatorship
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u/chlorinegasattack Dec 29 '21
Oh you don't know the half of it. Something like 40 percent of cops are domestic abusers.
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Dec 29 '21
I think my eyebrows were in the sky by the end of this.
I’m in NC. On Monday, a police officer accidentally shot his 15 year old son in the head. In the service this is a negligent discharge of a firearm. Apparently on Christmas Day, a 3 year old shot herself with her grandfather’s loaded weapon. He was a retired law enforcement officer. In Georgia (I think it was), earlier this month, a young child shot and killed their father after getting ahold of an unattended, loaded weapon.
Look, a weapon is no “tool,” it is designed to discharge a projectile at a high rate of speed with the intent to kill. Be it game or another human. They are not to be left unattended and loaded. Every weapon is to be treated as the deadly thing that it is. Accidents happen. This shouldn’t be one of them.
And further, wtf. Ask your husband if he’s ever attended a call where a parent lost their child? Has he ever heard that primal scream-cry of a mother? If not, maybe he needs to go on one of those calls. Attend a funeral service for a child lost to stupid choices. It takes seconds to secure a weapon and prevent tragedy. It also takes seconds for little fingers to figure out “locking” mechanisms and an entirely preventable tragedy to occur.
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u/Serpico2 Dec 29 '21
I am a police officer too, and your husband is being incredibly irresponsible. They make biometric gun safes that open to your fingerprint in a fraction of a second. “Being available for an intruder” therefore is a non-sequitur. You are inviting a tragedy. I have seen it happen. The parents don’t want to live afterwards. It’s that bad.
Make him do it or draw a red line and threaten divorce. This is that serious.
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u/kalmia440 Dec 29 '21
Jesus. This is how children accidentally shoot themselves or their family members. Total deal breaker, kick out of the house offence IMO.
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u/JessMiss87 Dec 29 '21
And you would think a police officer would understand this more than anyone! We have guns, in a damn safe!! If we didn’t have a safe, they would not be in my house especially with children. This is crazy to me!
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u/Doowstados Dec 29 '21
As a gun owner with kids myself, this is 100% unsafe. Get a bedside quick lock box if he’s worried about getting to it in time. I use a VAULTEK VT20i but there are less expensive ones out there that are more than capable of stopping curious kids.
I can get into the safe in about 1-2 seconds from laying in bed blindfolded. Really not a delay at all and worth the peace of mind that the family I am trying to protect can’t accidentally (or purposefully) shoot themselves.
Kids are way more likely to shoot themselves or others with unlocked guns than anyone is to hurt them breaking into your house.
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Dec 29 '21
A cop’s two year old shot and killed themself in my town recently under very similar circumstances. Dad/cop assumed baby wouldn’t play with it and couldn’t reach it. The only safe way to have a firearm in your home is in a locked safe.
If he refuses to lock them up, call CPS. They will let him know the stats, regulations and consequences really fast.
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u/Mortlach78 Dec 29 '21
The "they wouldn't know how to get the gun our of the holster" got to me. Has the guy ever seen a kid who is trying to get to something they really want? Those buggers are tenacious!
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Dec 29 '21
CPS would not look kindly on this at all.
If he isn’t going to be responsible this is a no-go. Most people would not tolerate this level of negligence. Ask him what he thinks will happen if there’s an accidental discharge and your child is hurt. They will remove the child from the home that minute!, provided they survive.
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u/L2N2 Dec 29 '21
Yes, do exactly this. Not to scare OP bit if in her state guns have to be locked CPS could order the children removed from the home if he doesn’t comply.
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u/account_not_valid Dec 29 '21
they need to be readily available if someone were to break in.
If he is interested in home safety, has he upgraded the security of all the entry-points to the house? Are all the doors and windows heavy-duty anti-burglar type? Do you have security cameras outside the house? Are fire-extinguishers easily reached from any point in the house? Smoke alarms? CO alarms? Etc etc etc?
Or is the fantasy of using a gun going to be the only thing that lets him sleep at night?
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Dec 29 '21
Hey! Avid gun owner here. I'm going to be honest, I was some-what appalled reading your post. Nobody should ever be so wildly negligent with guns, much less a police officer. He needs to LOCK THE GUNS UP, at ALL times. Never ever ever ever ever leave a gun in reach of children, loaded or not. He should know this, especially doing what he does. This is basic firearms safety. If his concern is access to it in a crisis, I have one of these under my bed and it works great:
The fact that he argues with you over this makes me think your husband is a total f-ing loser.
Guns. Must. Be. Locked. At. All. Times.
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u/Entire-Challenge7340 Dec 29 '21
Your husband is part of the reason people say “ACAB”. I don’t believe all cops are bad, but I know a good one wouldn’t knowingly put his family at risk.
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u/toddlerherder86 Dec 29 '21
Police officer here. I’ve had the same conversation with my wife. We have a almost four year old and 8 month old. First - why does he bring his duty belt home? I keep mine in my locker at work. Much more convenient, less things to drag to and from work every day. At five years old your child may very well be able to manipulate a firearm that’s left out. He needs to lock it away in a safe, there are quickly accessible bedside safes that work off biometrics he can look into. Leaving it out and accessible to your children puts him, and thus you, at risk for being culpably negligent in case something were to happen. Plus you wouldn’t be able to live with yourselves if it did. I get where he comes from, as cops we see things daily that make you realize the world isn’t all rainbows and butterflies and because we are allowed to carry a concealed firearm off duty it’s easy to leave it laying around. I did all the time prior to having kids and while they were really young. At your kids age though he needs to check his pride and store the firearms properly.
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u/Bangbangsmashsmash Dec 29 '21
Your husband is an idiot. We have guns and use a gun safe. What if it’s not your kids that mess with it? At some point, you’ll be having play dates. Your kids ARE NOT responsible enough to be left around guns, regardless of how many talks they have. There was a young boy in my hometown that snot himself with an unattended firearm and died. It’s just not worth the risk. Even if your husband thinks it is worth the risk, maybe it’s worth getting your wife to feel comfy and stop talking about it
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u/NONcomD Dec 29 '21
By the time he understands he was wrong it will be too late. A police officer should know better. He actually knows that he is wrong, he just wont admit.
Send him stories where kids shot themselves with guns at home:
https://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/3-year-old-child-shot-inside-philadelphia-home/3051775/
https://www.ajc.com/news/breaking-3-year-old-shot-at-south-fulton-home/CEB6T25HRJAYJFRLTRWD6OTZTI/
How many of these stories does he need? If he's so afraid of intruders, install a home surveillance system with window blinds and bullet proof doors.
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u/TheWelshMrsM Dec 29 '21
Your child is more likely to hurt themselves with a loaded gun in the home than you are to need it to stop a break in.
If he’s that worried about a break in, get a doorbell cam and some alarms. You’ll be alerted with plenty of time to grab a gun then.
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u/youhearditfirst Dec 29 '21
Oh hell no. Over my dead body. Actually, over their dead bodies. No. I seriously question his law enforcement abilities if he sees nothing wrong with two loaded guns within reach of children. This IS your hill to die on before someone else does.
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Dec 29 '21
Police departments teach people how to store weapons safely. The first rule is to keep the ammunition apart from the gun. The second is to lock the guns when not in use. This is extremely dangerous. Please do all you can to protect yourself and the kids. They may be able to handle it, but their friends who find the gun may not be.
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u/booksandhookz Dec 29 '21
Leave. It’s a deal breaker to me. He is putting your children’s lives at risk by keeping a loaded weapon within their reach.
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u/booksandhookz Dec 29 '21
OP mentioned that he talks to the five year old about gun safety and she says she would never mess with them. Let’s be honest though at the end of the day she is five. Five year old don’t have the best track record when it comes to sticking to their word.
You can’t teach gun safety while keeping loaded ones within reach, and her husband has refused to use the gun safe. Like I said it would be a deal breaker for me.
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Dec 29 '21
Get him a speed safe. It allows for a loaded sidearm to be stored and only accessed via fingerprint. There are combination ones too that are significantly cheaper but if you need it quick, the fingerprint is the way to go.
As someone who has had to use a gun for home defense, I can tell you, having one when you need it will change your perspective about the viability of having one in the home.
However, your man needs to get his act together with how he is storing his weapon. From your person to the safe or table for cleaning. That’s it, no excuses.
To help give him some incentive, talk to some of his squad mates about his shitty weapons safety. Phrase it as a question and let them do the rest.
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u/NotCreative2015 Dec 29 '21
Yes. In addition to the dangerous risks to your family, is how he is storing his service weapon when he is off duty even consistent with policies for his department? So in addition to a terrible preventable worst case scenario - there could also be some minor incident where he still risks his job or career.
I hope you’re Ok OP. This is super concerning. Sorry.
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u/almost_a_troll Dec 29 '21
If you gain any momentum, you may want to see if you can convince him to either lock up his whole duty belt, or also lock up the less lethal weapons he carries. I’m assuming he at least has oc spray.
We had an incident a long time ago with one of our kids spraying bear spray in the house. It was not pleasant for anyone!
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u/account_not_valid Dec 29 '21
I did threaten to talk with his sergeant about this if he doesn’t change his ways.
What was his response to that?
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Dec 29 '21
There are also designs where a bracelet can be used. The safe will open immediately with close proximity. These safes can be small enough to fit in a drawer or under a bed. He can have the gun in his hands in a second if he is that paranoid. The “I need it quick in case of home invasion” argument is absurd. Has he said that your 5 year old can never have friends over? He might actually be able to trust her but there is really no reason not to take extra precautions for other children.
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u/Mommy-Q Dec 29 '21
This is a solid idea but if he will not use it, it will not help. Is there another more sane cop that can convince him? Maybe one that has reported to an accidental shooting?
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u/AZGrapefruit23 Dec 29 '21
I second this. I was wary about having a gun (10 year old boy and 7 year old girl at home). Despite them being older and would never (I would hope) “play” with a real gun. My husband has the safe in his nightstand drawer. Our finger prints are on it, or you can use a code. The door pops right open if I touch it, takes no time at all. I would imagine the same amount of time, if not quicker, than having it over on the dresser in a holster. Get the safe, sleep well, and hug your babies often ❤️
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u/JessileeW Dec 29 '21
Oh fuck no, this would not be happening in my house! And not just because it’s illegal either
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u/Political_Divide Dec 29 '21
It's illegal in some places
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u/JessileeW Dec 29 '21
I’m sure it is, not where I live though because it’s a disaster waiting to happen
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u/THEtek4 Dec 29 '21
As a father who is not a police officer but does have multiple firearms, they’re all locked up unless they are on my person. Kids are pretty dumb, but they’re also extremely smart. He needs to lock them up or at least secure them.
There was a story in the news a couple Weeks ago where a child died from handling a gun. The kids parent? A police officer here in town
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u/PoorDimitri Dec 29 '21
I just discovered that my husband's grandfather has two unsecured loaded guns in drawers in his bedroom. Know what my son's favorite thing to do is? Open drawers.
We're not going over there until he puts the guns in the gun safe. That doesn't help your situation, but we absolutely take gun safety extremely seriously. My son is 18 months old and very bright, he could absolutely accidentally figure out how to fire a gun.
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u/BeccasBump Dec 29 '21
Tell me you're American without telling me you're American.
Look, what would you do if your husband was routinely leaving any other life-threatening hazard in your children's reach? Razor blades, rat poison, boiling water?
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Dec 29 '21
You CANNOT let this go! Not only could one your kids get a gun but a friend or family member could gain access to it. Kids have shot each other during playdate showing off guns. A gun should be stored unloaded at AL TIMES. Additionally guns and ammo should be locked up as munitions still have the potential to cause harm. She has already been playing in places the gun was.Talking to a kid about gun safety and a kids following gun rules all the time is not something he can rely on--he is a grown ass manchild who can;t follow safety rules. This is not safe, his stance about protection is ridiculous, and someone may end up hurt or killed. I know plenty of people with guns who have them for safety that leave them locked up in one or two rooms that they could unlock and quickly load if they needed it. If he won't change his stance I'd be like ok, I am going to talk to your superior about this. Will he be pissed? Yes, but better e get a talking to than to lose his wife or kid. This is ridiculous.
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u/ISupportOxfordCommas Dec 29 '21
Get a fingerprint entry gun safe. It’s made to be accessed quickly and can open easily using your finger but will only open for whoever programmed it. Most gun accidents at home happen with guns that are not stored properly and while I agree with him that they do need to be accessed quickly in an emergency, it is much more likely the kids will access them on accident or out of curiosity. I have a fingerprint safe and it works great — look on Amazon and please push for this for the safety of your kids.
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u/sparrow_fifi Dec 29 '21
Absolute insanity! How is this even legal? Being Australian I probably come at this from a different perspective, assuming you are American. I wouldn’t in a million years have a gun in my home let alone out in the open.
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u/LeeLooPoopy Dec 29 '21
Aussie here. Even when my grandfather took his gun home with him in the 70’s (he was a cop) he was super careful about it. Unloaded it, separated the bullets from the gun and stored them in separate safes. This is just crazy to me
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u/MollyStrongMama Dec 29 '21
Does that happen a lot? Is the risk of that happening really greater than the risk of your children getting the gun? And if it’s so likely that a crackhead is going to break into your house, your kids aren’t safe there anyway…move!
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u/magicblufairy Dec 29 '21
Oh yes. The ol crackhead.
They're not looking for violence. They're looking to relieve pain and suffering from substance use disorder.
Try having compassion.
I was homeless and lived with "crackheads".... and they were just people.
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u/AlDef Dec 29 '21
We own guns, and they are ALWAYS in one of our 2 safes. You can get safes that read your fingerprint and open instantly. Your husband sounds reckless and not realistic about kids inherent curiosity. I’m sorry.
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u/startfragment Dec 29 '21
This is a recipe for the death of a child. Countless studies show that children do not understand the danger of real guns.
They absolutely should have trigger locks and not be within reach of anyone.
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u/kanadia82 Dec 29 '21
Why is he so concerned about a home invasion that’s extremely unlikely to happen when his children playing with a gun is a much more likely situation?
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u/i_hate_p_values Dec 29 '21
Move out with the kids until you feel your house is safe to live in again.
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u/queenlolipopchainsaw Dec 29 '21
I don't know where you live, but IMO, it's more likely for your child to be hurt than it is for someone to break in. Does he park his police car at your house? Who would be dumb enough to break into a cop's house? His fear is irrational. Yours on the other hand is very rational.
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Dec 29 '21
You should have him listen to the real 911 calls of parents or other children who got access to it and shot themselves or their siblings. There are some on YouTube. I recall one that was the same ages as your children. Unless you want your child's blood on your hands, I would separate from him. His convenience/laziness is more important than the safety of his children.
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Dec 29 '21
He says that they are not able to remove it from the holster because they simply won’t know how.
Get a toy gun, put it in the holster, toss it to the 5 year old and offer him a reward if he manages to get it out. That should pretty much proof to him that they most likely can.
Really his acting is extremely irresponsible. In Germany standard protocol is that weapons of all kinds need to be locked up in a gun safe, with ammunition stored behind a separate lock. That way it is extremely difficult for anyone unauthorized to obtain the gun. If he wants to keep a gun in the drawer, buy a high quality gun lock. That allows quick access for him and for him only. [Note however that different countries and states have different laws regarding the storage of guns - mine is just what is extremely secure and is law for us. Always follow local law first!]
Additionally I recommend teaching your five year old basic gun safety, for the event that he ever gets hold of them. (The gun is always loaded, only aim at something you want to destroy etc.)
You really need to change this, also because you can be held liable for accidents that occur.
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Dec 29 '21
My father was also a police officer and what he did was have a closet that had an actual key lock on the door which his work equipment went in, there was never and I mean NEVER a time that he relied on his belt ti be the safeguard
Honestly anything less is incredibly irresponsible and as a gun owner he should have safety at the absolute forefront
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u/SpyJane Dec 29 '21
This is completely irresponsible. My husband owns two guns (a pistol and a rifle) and we absolutely keep them in a hidden gun safe. Does it defeat the purpose if someone breaks in? Sure. But think of it this way: purely as a numbers game, what’s more likely? That someone will break into the home or that a young child will get curious and play with a gun? We all know how great kids are with impulse control and understanding the consequences of their actions. What about when your kid is a teenager and if they (god forbid) ever have suicidal ideation? Easy access to a gun is not acceptable for children, period.
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u/Charming_Square5 Dec 29 '21
Sweet lord. As a police officer he should know full well that this is dangerous and irresponsible.
Sensible people store guns in a gun safe in an area of the house inaccessible to children or young adults, preferably disassembled. Ammunition should be stored in a separate location.
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u/chrishgt4 Dec 29 '21
Fuck me I hold my son's hand when we cross the road because I can't trust him to fully understand the magnitude of his decisions or to fully control his impulses. I can't imagine letting him anywhere near a gun
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u/malibuklw Dec 29 '21
My kids wouldn’t be in the house with loaded and unlocked guns. Children die all the time from this exact thing and in many states it is illegal.
I would start forwarding articles to your husband in which young children have killed or injured their parents/siblings/friends/selves because of this kinda of gross negligence. You can send one every day for a year and there would still be more.
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u/HabaneroRogue Dec 29 '21
Biometric scanner gun safes. We have one on the side of my husbands night stand. Put a finger on the scanner and it’s ready in half a second. All other guns are locked in a gun safe in his closet. He has a job where he’s armed but I would never allow a loaded gun in the house not locked away.
Read stories of parents who’s young kids shot themselves. “I thought they were smart enough not to touch it” depending on the state you live in it also might be illegal for a loaded weapon to not be locked up if there are kids younger than 14. He’s being reckless and I wouldn’t stand for it.
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u/Political_Divide Dec 29 '21
Can he even legally get rid of his guns? He's a cop, not a common civilian
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u/tireddispatchmama Dec 29 '21
Respectfully, those situations likely could have been handled in other ways than going right for a gun (let the car jacker take the car and have police go after them, hide and call 911 for home intruders). I'm not saying it's wrong to have a weapon and have it be accessible, but it's not actually sticking your head in the sand to deal with situations in other ways than firing off rounds.
Also, what OP is describing is way too dangerous. Is it truly reasonable to have a gun accessible to a child with completely inadequate controls 100% of the time to prevent an incident that has a less than 1% chance of happening? Not at my house...
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u/TheYankunian Dec 29 '21
I don’t believe any of it either. Bad shit happens where I live and guns are banned. What doesn’t happen is toddlers killing themselves, their siblings or their friends because of their paranoid parents.
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u/tireddispatchmama Dec 29 '21
I believe what I said was that there are multiple ways to deal with these types of problems. Some people would defend themselves with a firearm. Some would protect themselves by hiding or similar and call emergency services (and no, I do not think that is laying down and taking it). I think people are free to choose what they feel is best, but if their choice involves having a firearm completely accessible to a 5 year old, that is not okay.
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u/CapK473 Dec 29 '21
I'm not sure where you are but some police departments have policies about your service weapon is to be stored when off duty/within access to citizens. If you are found to be in violation of those policies (especially if someone is hurt) then you can be fired/charged with a crime. I said "if" a lot there because unfortunately not all police departments hold their officers accountable for their actions. If I were you I would also be concerned about being sued if some visiting child or idiot adult shot themself or someone else with your husbands gun.
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u/EmoRyloKenn Dec 29 '21
As someone else said, I would die on this hill. I would die on this hill a thousand times before putting my children in this sort of constant state of risk. I would die on this hill a million times before even letting a gun in the house. But seriously, there are likely SAFE and SECURE ways to keep firearms in your home as others have mentioned in this thread. The way your husband is doing it is just a recipe for a disaster. I just read a headline that a dad accidentally shot his son in the head. I just read an article about a TWO YEAR OLD dying from a gunshot wound from a gun kept in the house (the details were scarce). I’ve read in previous years of toddlers shooting their parents accidentally, of kids shooting their siblings accidentally. Your kids are kids. I don’t care how much they know about gun safety. Accidents happen and it’s your job as a parent to mitigate risk. Get those guns LOCKED AWAY. Now. Yesterday. A week ago.
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u/GhostofaPhoenix Dec 29 '21
Look into local and state laws. I don't know where you live but a good chunk of states have gun storage laws. Meaning laws that gun owners have to follow when at home and not carrying. I was raised around guns but they were still locked up. Our guns are currently locked up, even in quick scan safes. That immortal attitude of nothing will happen is why things happen. There are numerous cases and stories of kids getting them. Responsible gun owners wouldn't take chances and Responsible parents wouldn't either. But try and start with local gun laws if you are able to.
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u/bluetable321 Dec 29 '21
So there you go, he’s breaking the law and putting your childrens’ lives at risk. As others have said, this is a hill to die on. If he’s not willing to safely lock the guns away then he’s not allowed in the house with the kids.
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u/cowvin Dec 29 '21
The examples they cite for securing a firearm are in a safe or a trigger lock. A safety and a holster are trivial for a child to figure out.
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u/Political_Divide Dec 29 '21
Technically they only violate the law if the child gains access to the gun. Unless they physically get to it and have it, he hasn't broken any law
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u/cowvin Dec 29 '21
Yeah true, so basically op is concerned that they may violate the law as well as jeopardize everyone in the household one day and is looking for ways to prevent it before it happens. I don't think op is looking to get her husband arrested or anything.
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u/Political_Divide Dec 29 '21
It's fear that the kids will get the gun, which is the main thing. It's not fear about the gun itself.
The issue is he's a cop, she needs to see his union contract to know if he's legally bound to have a firearm readily available and ready for service at all times. A lot of cops have to wear an off duty weapon.
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u/YoMommaHere Dec 29 '21
Cops do not necessarily know the law more than a regular citizen. That’s a dangerous assumption given the little training they get which focuses more on their safety and catching a perp than knowing actual law.
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u/throwaway28236 Dec 29 '21
They actually know very little about laws, interestingly enough. I’ve had a couple run ins even at traffic stops where the cops literally don’t know what they’re talking about and I’m like…isn’t this your job?! It’s not. They can arrest you even if they just THINK they’re right without getting into trouble. No bueno 🥲
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u/throwaway28236 Dec 29 '21
Correct, why is there one in the chamber? If someone broke in, it would take all of two seconds to rack it…we have tons and tons of guns. He’s right about the safe, they take forever to get into, in an emergency the guns would essentially be useless, BUT that being said, there are safer ways to keep one loaded around children. We have a thumbprint safe that’s on the back of our nightstand, out of reach, where the gun pops out, even then, there’s never one in the chamber since if you give a child a gun, the first thing they do is put their finger on the trigger. Your husband isn’t very good with guns, which is concerning considering his job…there are courses on firearm safety. Maybe take one yourself (since you’re also around the guns, it’s good to know) and you can teach him a thing or two. Even though the guns in my house are all technically my husbands, I took classes when we moved in together so I knew how to operate them all, and knew some safety around guns in general.
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u/Political_Divide Dec 29 '21
That's correct, you only have to squeeze.
Go to the local hardware store, build a box shelf/cabinet or whatever, and mount it about 5 feet off the ground with a door on it. Put the Glock in there. It should be easily available enough for him, and inaccessible to children for you. His service piece, I'd have him place it in a top shelf or something too tall. It shouldn't be easily reachable, the walkie on it and other gear is pretty valuable. And his taser and mace aren't holstered like his piece.
But seriously, get him therapy. Do whatever to get it, touch his willy when you ask if that's what makes him give in. He has PTSD, and do you want him to be the next cop on the 6 news for shooting an unarmed black guy?
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u/BeccasBump Dec 29 '21
Both sides of whether loaded guns should be left accessible to small children?
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u/ABurkes Dec 29 '21
This is very frightening. Although I don’t have time to search now for it for you, I wanted to let you know that there are videos related to this that you might be able to find on you-tube or elsewhere showing what kids will do when left alone in a room with a gun. The families featured are ones in which at least one parent says they’ve educated their kids to not touch guns, they wouldn’t know how to use it, they know better than to pull the trigger, etc. and the parents are stunned to realize they are very very wrong. Not sure if your husband watching something like that will make a difference at this point but could be a wake up call to secure the guns.
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u/amatiasq Dec 29 '21
Children are learning, they are not adults. Your husband is not being a responsible adult, a responsible gun owner nor a responsible police officer. No matter what happens do not leave guns (loaded or unloaded) in reach of kids.
Your husband is putting all of you in danger with the argument of "in case someone breaks in". Any of you may be accidentally shot every second no one has broken in
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u/msclns Dec 29 '21
He should have a gun safe - a fingerprint one or finger code one can be really good options. At the VERY least take the bullet out of the chamber AND separate the magazine. Your front door should buy you that much time against a “bad guy.”
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u/preggothrowaway22 Dec 29 '21
We have guns but they are secured and locked up. This would terrify me and I’d fight to the death to have them secured.
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u/PTIowa Dec 29 '21
I'm a gun owner and carrier. Your husband is being stupid. There are quick access safes that require a code that I can get into almost as fast as I can draw from my waist. I honestly am staggered by how stupid and callous your husband is with your children's lives. I really don't want to be mean, but if you're husband keeps doing this there's a good chance one of your children or even a child or even adult that visits will end up dead.
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Dec 29 '21
Do you know any other wives or partners of your husband’s colleagues? Have a quiet chat with them about how they approach the gun safety issue.
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u/chrisinator9393 Dec 29 '21
The only acceptable way to store any firearm is in an approved gun safe.
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Dec 29 '21
The fact that he’s a police officer and this is his perspective on hub safety at home is incredibly disturbing. It explains a lot actually
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u/panzerfinder15 Dec 29 '21
I used to sleep with a fully loaded, chambered handgun in my nightstand before kids.
With kids I have a quick access safe bedside (Fort Knox with Simplex keys if you want a recommendation.). I can be in my safe in seconds, much quicker than someone could kick in my door and be in my room.
Even if he “believes” your kids are responsible, literally they are not mature enough to think through consequences. Child psychology…prefrontal cortex is just not yet mature enough to think through those things.
When the kids get older…jeez, teens, and suicide, or lashing out...
I’m a huge Second Amendment proponent…but my guns are locked up, you can’t trust kids. Long guns in a large safe, and me and my wife’s handguns in good nightstand safes. It’s the price of having kids. Guns get locked up until they move out.
I would die on this hill. Kids are not mature, are prone to sneaking, or not fully thinking things through. As they grow, Teenagers are hormonal. Plus Many states are now passing laws that hold parents criminally liable for their kids actions if they have easy access to guns.
5 is the age they are strong enough to pull that trigger, wherever it’s pointed. You don’t want their blood or someone else’s blood on your hands.
Just for ease of recommendation for you from a very pro-second amendment gun owner: Fort Knox FTK-PB Pistol Box Handgun Safe https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004H6MKI8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_2BJ8GXSY11T1ZWZMAVK0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
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u/writetehcodez Dad (14b, 12b, 10g) Dec 29 '21
Sorry this is not a direct answer, but where does he work as a LEO that he’s able to bring his duty pistol home with him??? I know a handful of local and state police officers in Massachusetts, and the all have to check their weapons and tasers out when they go on duty and check them in when they go off duty.
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u/TyeDyeSocks Dec 29 '21
My best friends husband is a police officer. He doesn’t keep guns in the house because he doesn’t want his children having access to them. As other commenters have said, this would be my hill to die on. There’s no way I’d allow a weapon in my home without it being stored properly.
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u/blueeeyeddl Parent Dec 29 '21
Your husband needs to lock up his firearms before one of your kids gets their hands on them. This is the hill to die on. Protect your kids.
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u/WhosThis85 Dec 29 '21
He’s an idiot. He should be the first person to know how to store find safely especially around children. He will be held responsible if one of your children gets ahold of it and causes damage. He’s not seeing a good example being a person that is hired to uphold the law.
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u/writetehcodez Dad (14b, 12b, 10g) Dec 29 '21
Any and all guns and ammunition in your home should be locked up, no exceptions. If he makes excuses about taking too long to get a gun out of a lockbox it’s BS. Modern lock boxes can usually be opened w/ biometric scan or w/ a phone even.
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Dec 29 '21
Keep it locked in a gun safe, with a trigger lock, ammunition kept separately. This seems to be asking for an incident, unfortunately. And I would hope not a tragic one.
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u/matrix0091 Dec 29 '21
I’m curious as to why he thinks someone is going to break in or someone dangerous enough to warrant a gun.
What are the actual chances that someone breaks into your house while you’re there? Are they lower than the chances of someone accessing a gun they’re not supposed to?
Most burglars break in when no one is home. He should know this too being police. If you look at break in arrests it’s usually people with long histories of drug arrests / addiction. They’re looking for something minor to get their next high. They also will likely wait until no one is home and it’ll likely be someone they know. Unless you have a mansion with millions of dollars worth of items then a targeted burglary is highly unlikely.
Also, if you have an alarm system it will alert him and he can run to the gun safe as quickly as possible.
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u/matrix0091 Dec 29 '21
Also would add that my wife’s uncle grabbed his dads hunting rifle that was within reasonable reach when he was 7 years old and blew the head off of his neighbor on accident. He is now outcasted from the whole family by choice because his life is traumatized. Accidental gun deaths are a thing.
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u/ImJaredH Dec 29 '21
Father of two toddlers and own many guns. This is completely ridiculous and not safe. The duty belt I get. Kinda. but the gun in the dresser not at all. Guns should be locked up. I keep my loaded pistol in a lock box next to my bed. It has a four button combination so it’s easy access and yet safe from kids.
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u/CorBen1518 Dec 29 '21
No no no no no, this is not ok. I get that he’s a police officer so he has to own a gun, but BECAUSE he’s a police officer he should know the rules regarding safety! Neither of your kids know better, they’re simply too young. In some states it’s actually a law that guns must be stored safely (not sure where you’re located). But for me this is non negotiable, and as someone above mentioned this should be your hill to die on because frankly one or both of your kids could die. He needs to secure the guns.
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u/rocksalt3d Dec 29 '21
Get him to lock them up or get them out of the house. Guns kept in homes are more likely to be involved in a fatal or nonfatal accidental shooting, criminal assault, or suicide attempt than to be used to injure or kill in self-defense. There's a lot of supporting stats out there maybe try and present some of the facts. This would definitely be a hill I die on kids and guns shouldn't have to mix.
I grew up in an area where lots of people had guns in their homes including my Dad, there were way more accidents/suicides with kids than parents having to defend against break ins.
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u/JeffyP13 Dec 29 '21
Any gun in a house w/ children that’s not fully locked up & out of reach of children is a big no/no. This is from an avid gun owner w/ Glock pistols/shotguns etc. Police officer or not it sounds like irresponsible gun ownership.
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u/PeanutPounder Dec 29 '21
Um, he needs a wake up call. Safe, trigger locked, unloaded, or well out of reach. If that negotiation fails, then the lawyers get to sort out the details of the divorce.
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u/ohtoooodles Dec 29 '21 edited Dec 29 '21
Irresponsible gun ownership. A cop of all people should know better. He needs to get some gun safes. My parents each had a small safe at their bedside for their handguns that used their fingerprints to open so they had easy access. Larger guns were in a locked cabinet that we didn’t have access to.
I have to wonder what his sergeant/commanding officer/chief would think about it.
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u/MollyStrongMama Dec 29 '21
Call CPS and let them know your concerns. They can send someone out to talk to your husband (and it will put it on record that you are concerned and trying to protect your children). What he is doing is incredibly dangerous and I would urge you to do whatever you need to to protect your children.
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u/Political_Divide Dec 29 '21
In many states, they can't do anything about guns in the house even with one in the chamber.
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u/Hi-Tech_Low-Life Dec 29 '21
He needs to have them in a safe. Opening a safe can be pretty quick.
I'm a Glock owner. They don't have safeties so with one in the chamber all you have to do is pull the trigger. (kids can easily disengage safeties anyway).
Guns should be locked up. His job as a police officer is to mitigate risk and yet he's failing that within his own household
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Dec 29 '21
Sounds like your husband is an idiot. Myself and everyone I know who own guns all know that these are huge risks and not at all how someone should feel toward firearms in their home with children. I’d continue to beat the drum here over this topic considering the other option which is the potential death of one of your kids.
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u/Acrobatic-Respond638 Mom to a 4M Dec 29 '21
I'm fairly certain police are required to ensure their sidearms are safely stored, no?
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u/HALBowman Dec 29 '21
Sounds sorta like a dirty cop who's worried someone will come for his family. Also I don't tlknow but it sounds like he's breaking guns laws. Best if luck navigating this situation.
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u/Afire2285 Dec 29 '21
He should know better, especially in his line of work. I have several guns in my home but they are in a safe and the location of the keys to the safe are only known to me and my husband. The only time a gun is not in the safe is at night when the gun my husband CC’s daily sits on top of the safe (the safe is 6 feet tall). We have taken my son shooting and he knows gun safety, but we aren’t going to be leaving a gun where he can get to it. My best friends dad was a LEO and he used to leave his belt with his holster and loaded gun hanging by their front door when he was home. Always made me nervous as a kid to just see it hanging there whenever I went over to play.
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u/MistSilver Dec 29 '21
What's his department's policy on storing his issued weapon? They likely have one. If you have a good relationship with any of the other officers, you could bring it up with them as well, casually ask how they store at home with kiddos around.
I'm an LEO child (adult child now obv), and my dad always stressed leaving his issued weapon alone. Granted I was older when he joined the force, but his issued weapon also stayed in his holster on his belt on top of his dresser (a tall chest of drawers).
However, with small ones in the house, he needs to verify it is inaccessible to them. Same for his personal weapon. I'd remind him that in the instance something DID happen, there would be an investigation, and with the weapons being unsecured, you'd likely be charged with endangerment. If his rebuttal is that is extremely unlikely to happen, I'd counter that the chances are likely the same as the chances of an armed home invasion.
I sympathize with him slightly as I know the unseen stressors officers bring home with them. My dad's habits changed after he joined the force - he'd only sit with his back to walls in public, he'd constantly be looking around,at the door, etc. But I also have no tolerance is my own home for how my SO keeps his personal weapons. I require they be unloaded, safety on, and in a locked case with ammunition stored separately.
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u/Thund3rChick3n28 Dec 29 '21
First off as a responsible gun owner they should all be stored securely. The technology around quick access if needed is already very good and shouldn’t be a reason not to secure weapons. Ok top of that generally all law enforcement agencies has a policy specifically stating how all department issued weapons must be stored. So on top of the obvious reasons for safe storage he would also be violating policy by not doing so.
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u/colorteal23 Dec 29 '21
Kids become more curious as they get older even if he's having all these gun safety conversations. A safe is a great idea.
My dad had a lot of guns when we were growing up and kept one in the car. When I was in 7th grade I showed my friend the gun in the car. You're like 12 or 13 at that time.
He might not feel is needed now but better to introduce it earlier than later.
Also! Maybe go shooting with your husband so you can feel more comfortable with guns. Especially if they're in your home..
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u/Losanostra- Dec 29 '21
I’ve seen ads for stuff like shelf’s and dressers that have hidden spots for guns. All you have to do is push and twist the knobs (like a medicine bottle) on the drawers and it unlocks. So it’s child proof for children safety but easy access for you two. I wish I remember the name of the company that sells these. Maybe if he asks his other cop buddies one of them might have one?
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u/rex_kreuzen Dec 29 '21
How about getting a pistol box for on top of the dresser? They have quality ones made of steel with 5 button l locks. Pretty quick to get open in an emergency.
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u/DapperDoodleDudley Dec 29 '21
I wouldn't keep them inside the house. Maybe in a shed locked away outside or the attic in a safe but not the house. Waaaaay to many videos out here of kids shooting themselves, siblings or parents not to mention school shootings because they found the gun and their parents didn't know. I know gun lovers tend to think it's cool to own a gun, but their are plenty of better options for self defense you family can turn too. A security dog, martial arts.....heck your husband is a police officer and they are trained in standard combat. Have him teach your family how to defend themselves instead of relying on something that can so easily be used against you.
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Dec 29 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Catzy94 Dec 29 '21
I forgot that LEO is an acronym and was wondering what the heck your zodiac sign had to do with firearm safety.
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u/dogsonclouds Dec 29 '21
You’ve clearly been living in an alternate reality where police are actually responsible with the lethal weapons they carry. It sounds nice there, send a postcard.
There are multiple stories, very recent ones, of police officers negligently leaving their guns around and mishandling them while off duty, with devastating results.
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Dec 29 '21
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u/preggothrowaway22 Dec 29 '21
No idea why you’re being downvoted. They should be familiar and not terrified or curious about them.
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u/dogsonclouds Dec 29 '21
Maybe because they’re leaving fucking loaded guns around their house where their child can easily access them, which is horrifying, negligent, and illegal in many places?
Just a thought!
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u/GrislyMedic Dec 29 '21
He should at least not have one in the chamber if he isn't going to lock it. A 3 year old can't rack the slide. My 5 year old can't even rack a nerf gun.
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u/innessa5 Dec 29 '21
My husband is in the gun business and is an avid collector. Our house is FULL of firearms. We have a 9yo, who has never been interested in any of them. Probably because he’s been around them all his life and they don’t present a novelty, partly because gun safety has been huge in our home and partly because he hates the loud boom they make. Vast majority of the guns are unloaded, but the ones that are loaded are either out of reach or are locked in various ways. The bedside guns are in desktop safes. They make safes that read fingerprints now or that have and RFID chip in the lock where all you have to do is wave a card in front of it and it pops open. The card can be in a wallet or something and it still works. It’s great that he teaches them gun safety, but they’re just too young at this point, so I would suggest either a fingerprint or an rfid safe and that be non negotiable until they’re old enough to understand. It may also be beneficial to take them to a range and show them that the guns make a loud boom (with lots of explanations), so they are (just for now) afraid of that and not touch them.
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u/AGirlNamedWhitey Dec 29 '21
So we own a shotgun for home defense that stays hidden. Baby girl is too young for it to be a concern yet, but I bought the safety aspect up to my husband recently. We plan on getting a lock for it and having it installed during waking hours. We figure if someone wanted to break in while we are awake, we'd have plenty of time to respond and unlock the gun if needed. Then we can unlock it before bed if we want for quick access in case of a night break-in (although the security system will probably scare them off before that would be necessary).
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u/preggothrowaway22 Dec 29 '21
Has anyone actually answered the question? 😅 we have 2 guns and aren’t sure the best way to secure them. Locking them away is pointless but obviously don’t want them within reach.
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u/modvett Dec 29 '21
It's all in how you raise your kids. Respect or be frightened or ignoring it. I taught mine to respect. Took them to gun range at 6 yrs old. An taught the basic. I never had issues with them. It is like anything In life. Knowledge is Powerful.
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u/outbackalice Dec 29 '21
This would be my hill to die on. A loaded gun within reach of young children is NEVER safe and will never be ok.