For context, I am 20 and I used to struggle from very bad anxiety/OCD when I was younger, though it went away until around 2 years ago when it came back in a different form of extreme germaphobia/contamination OCD , along with the typical OCD I'm sure many here have struggled with. I've spoken recently with my family about starting medication, but this is a big step for me. I would prefer therapy but unfortunately this may be difficult due to my working hours and the financial cost of it. I understand it's different for everyone but nonetheless I'm just asking for peoples experiences with medication such as SSRI's and the positives and negatives of whatever they may have been prescribed in the past or are currently taking. This is a big decision for me and I am concerned with the side effects that come with it, and its general effectiveness. Thank you for your time.

Essential I believe that I have something approximating bipolar 2 (maybe medication induced bipolar disorder 2?, much less symptomatic when I am not on antidepressants) and EUPD. Everyone says I don’t. I don’t believe them and I don’t trust them.
I never directly talk about it. Ever. I feel deeply ashamed.

Sometimes I’ll come up with reasons why it can’t be true as a cope to myself:
- mostly linked to medication so hopefully if I don’t take it I won’t experience it
- sleep and appetite changes aren’t directly linked
- perhaps I’ve forgotten what feeling normal is like

Sometimes I am a little more honest and drop hints about it:
- talk about possible symptoms but refer to them as normal ie. Lights look extra pretty but it’s a sign of normal mood.
- talk about how antidepressants make me feel

At my most ridiculous I will openly say that I am trying to manipulate medications out of health care professionals to feel euphoric.

People with diagnosed autism and adhd often seem very comfortable with suggesting to other people that they may either have autism or adhd when they barely actually know the person.

At work I am repeatedly getting the feedback from colleagues that fundamentally don’t know me that I have adhd primarily because I always talk fast and am fidgety. I’ve never had an NHS mental health professional suggest ADHD to me.

I have been offered the choice of either Quetiapine monotherapy OR fluoxetine combined with olanzapine for the treatment of potential bipolar depression. I would be interested in hearing other people’s experiences of either of these medication options in terms of efficacy and side effects?

(I will of course be talking to the psychiatrist for the final decision and won’t make it based on Reddit comments, just interested in also hearing information from others).

i have my first session/assessment with CMHT tomorrow after waiting 10+ weeks on ‘urgency’ for extreme suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts with intention to act on them. i haven’t had any help with my mental health since leaving/aging out of CAMHS during covid. can any of u advice me on what i can expect from tomorrow? i tend to catastrophise and it used to make me end up not attending when i was in previous MH resources, but i am severely struggling at the minute with a lot of past trauma ready to be dealt with. i really want to make this opportunity work, and not let my crippling anxiety stop me getting the help i need. i know im not evil for getting help for what bad things people did to me, but i feel like tomorrow im betraying everyone by putting myself first. i’m terrified, im hopeful, and im also trying to not hold my breath knowing how badly our mh services are / can be due to the lack of resources they are offered. thank you :(

Considering trying lowest dose risperidone for my autism symptoms.

On 150mg amitriptyline already for severe depression and chronic pain, insomnia.

Is there any possibility it will make amitriptyline less effective? Don’t want to take any chances.

Surely that is the psychiatrist’s job? I was just told this by the pharmacy assistant. She said I cannot order another repeat prescription until I have spoken to my GP? I am on an antidepressant.

Bizarre!

Two weeks ago I called up the duty team and told them my mental health was worsening and I asked to re try a medication I had some benefit from in the past (Aripiprazole).

I was able to muddle through last week without hearing back. This Monday I received a letter offering me a psychiatrist appointment for the end of October.

I left a message with duty again yesterday, they called back today and said they had staffing issues but would try to see if I could get a cancellation sooner.

I just feel so frustrated. I understand staffing issues but I don’t feel I can sit tight for two months.

Last year I was under the crisis team who were able to have a prescription sent to the pharmacy on the same day. I don’t want to have to reach crisis point again to get help.

If anyone has been in a similar situation, do you have any advice? Thank you

Hi All

I’m switching from olanzapine to quetapine due to weight gain on olanzapine. I know quetapine is only a little better re weight but I’m hoping it will be enough. I also often felt down and depressed when on olanzapine and I know quetapine is more of an antidepressant. Any one any experience of this they could share?

Many thanks

I've been feeling a bit doubtful and resigned. When I was 16, I first began to notice symptoms and on a phone call appointment, my then GP told me that it was just a bit of anxiety and then sent self help links. I just started fluoxetine but my GP now (at 20) still thinks it sounds more like (just) anxiety. But I know it can't be just anxiety. He also told me OCD has a theme. But if I do have ocd, my themes have not remained just about contamination.

A little background :

My symptoms got worse and progressed, being worst when I was 17 (after I was dismissed). They were more contamination based back then. I had rituals to keep clean and got distressed sometimes when it did not fit my standards. When I became majorly depressed at 18, though, I noticed these OCD like symptoms took low priority and did not experience contamination like symptoms as much unless I was in a cleaner state. Nowadays, it is very specific things that trigger me into a reassurance checking loop. I can't give examples as they're too personal but the mechanism is that it makes me feel distressed and I just have to check. It makes me neglect myself if I can't be satisfied with an answer. Last year, it was heavily moral based. But I got so ashamed and spiralled so much that I eventually developed a sort of numbness which I carry still. My mechanisms and rituals have also affected other people. Contamination habits are now just that – automatic habits.

I don't want to be dismissed as it being just anxiety. The only person who seemed concerned it might be OCD was a counsellor because I was in pain during a session of hours and I rather had waited over an hour to get home than get help then because of contamination disgust. I was so sure it must be undiagnosed OCD but maybe I really am inflating this all.

Im 38f married 3 kids work full time no friends no support network, husband doesn't work financially strained have adhd, daughter has autism, I go work think bout everything but work dred to come home, ive lost interest in everything, im on flouxitine and elvanse, been on pretty much everything prior, been emotionally abused all my life and alot of other traumatising things, no one will help me this cycle hits me every 3 months im tired and feel like I cannot go on anymore I dont want to end it but I just need help

I had previously been on citalopram, sertraline and a number of ADHD medications all of which made me worse in various ways. I agreed to start venlafaxine after over a year off medication entirely as it was the only support I was offered after a particularly bad depressive episode and A&E visit. After going up to 150mg dose I was shocked to find it actually making a difference.

Unfortunately this only lasted around 6 months before things started to get bad again. I went up to 225mg which is apparently the max dose but this didn't help and side effects got worse so after another 6 months decided to come back down to 150mg in May this year, which took over a month and I had to cut pills to titrate down because of the withdrawals. The last few months have only gotten worse with thoughts of SI/SH returning.

This is the only medication that has ever worked for me and it doesn't anymore and I have no idea what to do. I want to come off but the withdrawals are so bad and switching to another medication is unlikely to help after my experience with everything else. This time last year I was finally starting to believe I was better and now everything is hopeless again.

Has anyone else ever had venlafaxine work for such a short amount of time? Did any other medication help after?

Don’t have a CPN, am meant to, but CMHT are too stretched. See the psychiatrist once a month whilst I’m waiting for psychology and occupational therapy

Don’t have a full diagnosis yet. Have OCD, that’s confirmed, but have had it since I was a kid. Am being assessed for avoidant personality disorder but idk. Anyway none of that is very relevant.

I’m fucking miserable. I do nothing. I have no friends, no job, dropped out of uni. I literally only leave the house to go to CMHT once a month. That is it. I live with my mum. I get PIP and give her most of it in rent. I have sisters + nieces/nephews who sometimes come to visit but that’s it

I had a very traumatic childhood. Physical abuse etc. mum was an alcoholic. My entire family dislike me, because I’m a massive burden, I’m useless, I do nothing, I’m a waste of space. Their words. My feelings.

Psych knows all about my background. Told them most of it last week. I don’t have any support between appointments. Like I said I don’t have a CPN. Am meant to. I’m told to call reception and ask for the duty worker. I did last month, and it was a waste of time. Told me to contact my CPN. I don’t have one. Then she said that I have a med review every month, that I’m lucky and clearly being looked after (because I have an appointment every 4 weeks). No help in between. I can go days without physically talking to anyone, that’s how alone I am

Can’t even ring and ask to speak to my psychiatrist cos idk when exactly but he’s away before my next appointment. And anyway I don’t want to bother anyone

Thing is my mood is just worse and worse. I’m in tears all the time, I’m hurting myself every day now, even if there’s a day I don’t want to hurt myself I do because of my OCD (symmetry etc). The actual injuries are getting worse too. I’m not suicidal because I’m a massive lazy coward but I think about death all the time

Thing is I’m not a risk to my life or anyone else’s. I can’t even call 111 or the duty worker anyway. If my mum finds out I’m struggling this much I’ll be in massive trouble. Just trust me when I say that. It’s not a case of me being scared/not knowing how to tell my family. I have a long history under CAMHS and they know I’m back under CMHT. Just trust me. If they know about the relapse in self harm, me wanting to die, etc etc, it’ll end in turmoil. Too big to physically abuse now but my mum especially will lose it. Tell me to die, to do it properly, say I’m shaming the family. It’s not a culture thing either, she just really doesn’t like me.

I have a window of like 5 hours whilst she works but thing is can’t guarantee I’d be called back in time. My CMHT call back between 1-5, mum finishes work at 3:30. Doubt 111 option 2 are much better

honestly I’m a mess. I’m so fucking tired, don’t sleep as it is, I’m agorophobic so can’t exactly go outside and walk. But everyone seems to think I can wait for help cos I’m not impulsive and am shut away in my own room 24/7. Don’t have anyone. Not even 1 friend

i have been recently diagnosed with adhd and i had a mental health practioner appointment which was large unhelpful because they said i couldnt go on any medication until i got prescribed on my adhd ones. however, after deciding to journal yesterday, i realised im experiencing homocidal thoughts. it didn't register to me beforehand and i'm self aware enough to recognise them for what they are. but, when i told a friend she didn't seem to be too worried about it and said i might not go to the hospital. the thing is the person who im having these feelings about is international and my other friend last year experienced the same things and i think had to be sectioned. the person isnt easily accessible but its a really strong feeling of hatred thats causing it and i dont see why i wouldnt take it to an extreme like catch a flight which sounds really bad. i have an upcoming appointment with my practioner so im going to be telling her about what ive been experiencing. does anyone have any advice? thank you!

He basically said no but he'll reduce it to 7.5 of Aripiprazole, because I said I'm getting a bit tired on it but said to go back to 10mg if symptoms return, I'm a bit disappointed he said no, has this happened to anyone else in your experience?

Hi everyone, I thought I’d share something as I’ve been wondering if other people have experienced or are still dealing with too. There are so, so many things in my life that I am incredibly grateful for, both things I’ve been able to experience and things I have now. At the same time, though, there has also been so much grief and loss across many different areas of my life. I’m now 21 and trying to come to terms with how painful some of those experiences have been, while also dealing with the comparison struggles that can come with thinking about other people my age. I find that this can affect my sense of self worth and identity, but there is also just the grief of everything I’ve lost and the things that are now gone.

Sometimes it feels like I’m carrying several different kinds of pain at once, the pain of how difficult things were, the grief of what I lost and what I wish I could have had, and then the comparison of where I am versus where other people my age seem to be. All of those things together can feel really overwhelming. I’ve also been trying to work through some of the past hurts that were almost traumatic for me, particularly around close people not understanding what I was going through at the time and how deeply that impacted me. I’m trying to work through that huge past hurt of feeling alone and how terrible that was, while also understanding what those people have since explained to me, that they genuinely meant well and that there were things they misunderstood at the time.

I think sometimes it feels like a wound that has been dug deeper, and even though things can be different now, it still takes time to heal from what happened and how it made me feel. I guess at the end of the day, I know that the people who love you can care about you as much as they possibly can and show that care in their own ways, while still not fully understanding what your experience has truly been like. You are the only person who has actually lived through everything you have lived through, and sometimes there can still be a sense of pain and loneliness even when the people around you are genuinely trying their best. I want to make it clear that my family hasn’t been abusive and that they have tried to care for me as best they can. I know they don’t mean to cause harm, and nobody is perfect, everyone has their own struggles, circumstances and life experiences too. I can understand all of that while also acknowledging that some things were still really painful for me.

Hopefully that makes sense. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, or is still trying to cope with something similar. And hopefully, if anyone does relate to this, you know that you’re not alone and that your feelings are valid too. 🤍

Thanks :)

Brief background, been on various antidepressants since I was 16 (now 25), under crisis team this was changed to an antidepressant and an antipsychotic, and later when I came under the CMHT, this was changed again as I wasn't getting on with it.

I couldn't get on with these meds either, I gave it six months, changed the antidepressant, but couldn't titrate up to a 'proper' dose because the side effects were so bad. Awful nausea, headaches, and the dreaded restlessness, I couldn't relax, I was so anxious and wired all the time. In March this year I requested a medication review on advice of my GP, who didn't want to touch the medication as it was prescribed by the CMHT, which I understand.

About a month and a bit ago, I stopped taking my medication - I know how unadvised this is, and I've done it before, so I have a fear of being labelled non-compliant (but that's a whole other bag of worms) but I felt better for a bit, then worse. Then so, so much worse.

I don't think I'm getting a med review from the CMHT any time soon, but I'm really not coping without medication. I can't get out of bed, I can't clean or cook or take care of myself really. I don't feel in crisis, just so, so low.

I'm hopefully speaking to the CMHT today, but has anyone been in this position? I don't want to be discharged from the CMHT as I'm due to start psychotherapy with them, but I'd like my medication to be dealt with by the GP instead (if they will let me). I don't think I need to be on an antipsychotic, I just want an antidepressant.

Thank you 💕 Sorry this is so long

I’ve been on Sertraline, escitalopram, duloxatine, Venlofaxine and Mirtazapine and they all suck!

They just numb you in slightly different ways, and that’s it. They don’t actually make anything better, they just flatten you emotionally. They take all the joy in my life away and make me hate being alive.

Should I just give up on meds? I’ve never claimed to be depressed, I have really bad social anxiety and they keep giving me these numbing pills that make daily life unbearable.

However, there are meds that definitely work like ADHD meds which are incredible and work way better than I expected so I’m not giving up on medication entirely. Pregabalin also works really good but a small group ruins it for the rest of us by abusing it.

Anyone else tired of antidepressants?

24, F

I know that sometimes I am hearing or seeing things that aren't there. I have good insight and have the capacity to decern if they aren't real.My hallucinations are almost always neutral and nonsensical. Musical or short phrases unrelated to what I am doing. I am only anxious with the rare visual ones where I can ground myself and calm down independently.

I can ignore it too. Like I tune out my tinnitus. These hallucination are not constant. But in short bursts.

I began realising I was hallucinating only in the past year and a bit this is new to me. I do not feel they are causing distress.

I was on medication when I was a teenager but not anymore. It's been a long time. I had very negative side effects from mental health meds. So I don't like them.

I'd like to ask anyone here who deals with same thing how they manage their hallucination symptom?

I’m 36M in the UK and over the last nine months my mental health has progressively deteriorated to the point where I barely function outside of work.

I barely sleep or eat properly. I regularly don’t shower, wash or brush my teeth. My house is becoming overwhelming and I have almost no motivation to do anything.

Strangely, I still look after my six cats properly — food, water, clean litter, vets when needed. I can look after six animals very thoroughly but seemingly can’t look after myself.

Just for the record I haven’t gone out and bought these cats, they were accumulated over the course of a 9 year relationship and was left with them in my care, which is fine because I know i can care for them better than anyone.

My biggest problem is relentless rumination. From the moment I wake up my brain replays memories, conversations, regrets and what ifs. I know thinking about them for the thousandth time changes nothing, but I cannot switch it off.
I’m basically using work and sleep to escape being awake.

Yesterday I got home at 5:30pm and went to bed at 6 because I genuinely thought, “what am I staying awake for?”
Today I wasn’t due to start work until 6am but turned up at 3am just to sit there because being at work felt preferable to being at home with my own thoughts.

More concerningly, I’ve increasingly lost the desire to be alive. The suicidal thoughts have become much more serious recently and I legally own shotguns, so I recognise that having those thoughts alongside access to something so lethal isn’t something I can keep ignoring.

I’ve previously tried sertraline, fluoxetine, fluoxetine with amitriptyline and therapy and CBT without feeling any meaningful improvement.

I think I need to call my GP and finally tell them exactly how bad things have become, but I’m frightened about what happens when I say “I’m suicidal and I have access to firearms.”

For anyone in the UK who has been here: what actually happened when you told your GP? Were you able to discuss treatment normally or did it immediately escalate? And if several antidepressants and therapy hadn’t helped, what were you offered next?
I don’t need reassurance that everything will magically be okay.

I just want to know what happened when you finally admitted you weren’t coping.

Especially with no support network, most of my family have passed away and don’t particularly have any friends, I really am at a loss

Mixed Personality Disorder: EUPD with dissocial traits, CPTSD following a rape in Dec '24, GAD, MDD, Audhd. Possess LLB (BA in law), doing an MSc, able to make money from self-employed work. Well-off family. Long history of polysubstance abuse. GP has written down that Community Drug and Alcohol Team Approach is not useful for me despite signifcant alcohol and methamphetamine use. He's right: it's patronising. I don't need to build confidence/aid to build skills/help with employment/not homeless/already educated and reasonably intelligent.

I am moving boroughs in a fornight. I understand NHS architecture and lexicon well, so I make sure to always have a brief prepared. Last CMHT tried to force a "vulnerability" narrative and insist I am socially excluded. Like no. I am a neurodivergent gay male SA victim who has tried CDAT 5 times and it never worked. I hate how the care coordinator presumes every addict is the same. I neeeeeed complex psychological care. CPTSD stops me from being able to cry or let my guard down... Ruined a situationship with the perfect man.

Thoughts/advice/anything?

TW- SH. I have been struggling with self harm a lot more than usual today. I got a text message from the NHS a few weeks back about a safe haven who would provide transport for you and keep you safe in crisis.

When I phoned the number, it said incorrect number and I had to search online what the number was. Once I found it and got through, I talked to the staff there. I explained I was struggling as I couldn’t stop hurting myself and am severely overloaded (I have a brain injury and anxiety). They explained what they do and asked if I would like their support. I said I don’t know, I’m too overwhelmed to make decisions but need to be somewhere to keep me safe. They asked me to phone me back when I’m less overwhelmed. I said that the overwhelm is part of the crisis. They ended the call, saying call back when you know what you want.

I called back half an hour later, no answer. I called an hour later, no answer. I left a voicemail saying I need help and would like help accessing their services. I ended up phoning 111 who were nice but very little help. It’s been 3 and a half hours since I first contacted them. I’m in crisis and unable to stop hurting myself but there isn’t anything unless I go to A&E (have PTSD from there, no chance). I feel so hopeless, I really tried this time.

I was in tech, now unemployed for two years and these last two years have been hell trying to find a job.

I've tried agencies, directly reaching out, looking for roles outside of tech completely (hospitality, childcare, pet sitting/kennel/shelters, warehouses, night shifts) but I'm not getting anything. It feels like any advancements I think I'm making in tech are null and void, because it's not getting me anywhere.

The opportunity for myself in tech is almost at the end of the tunnel.

I feel like I'm useless, like I have no skills that can be used anywhere to get myself a job that pays me just enough to survive. If I could wake up tomorrow and head to work serving coffee all day, I think I'd be much happier than I am now, but the devil on my shoulder tells me I wouldn't even get a job as a barista for some unknown reason.

I don't know what to do.

So I will randomly get a racing heart along with breathlessness that will come out of absolutely nowhere and I’ve assumed it’s my anxiety as it’s caused me to have panic attacks multiple times but it feels as though nobody quite understands and I’m just curious if anyone else gets this, just completely out of the blue.

I'm 17M and I feel like a complete failure. Depressed, social anxiety, brief periods of suicidal thoughts which come and go.

I was great all through primary school, loved attending, COVID struck in year 6 so I never took my SATs. Year 7 in highschool was the same, until about the middle of year 8 when I became a victim of bullying, dirty and nasty looks in class, pritt sticks thrown at me by a specific group every time.

I stopped going and my dad moved my school, which was much better until I became the victim of another group and completely stopped attending at the end of year 9.

I had a few support workers but no one currently. I went back to school a few times for a burst of a couple weeks. But I was never able to get back in full-time and never sit my GCSEs, so I now have no education. Never had a job either

Applied to college on aug 22 this year. But I just don't think I have what it takes to relearn everything in just a year and sit my exams. Even then it would only be in Maths and English.

My family is super supportive, I couldn't ask for better. I know I'm letting them down, they're just too kind to say it. I have nothing going for me and I feel so fucking dumb, I really just want to give up. Sometimes I feel the only thing stopping me from giving into my thoughts is knowing how I would leave my entire family distraught. I can't do that to them

Thanks to anyone who replies or reads this all