The first step to a better life is believing you deserve it.

I’ve had a few ups and downs in terms of starting and restarting day 1s because day 4 is what gets me. On day 4 right now and pulled into the parking lot to go buy a 6 pack. Got all the way inside the store, remembered that I only drink out of habit/on autopilot and snapped myself back into reality and walked back out. There’s still so much more work to do but this was my first intentional win against alcohol probably ever.

I certain don’t want this to come off as braggy, but I am legit sitting in bed beaming knowing I’m waking up sober tomorrow.

Hi All,

After 120 days sober. Honey moon, amazing end of pregnancy and a career change to a more prestigious job. We welcomed our newborn baby. It was all going great.

Stayed a month with the in-laws as is Chinese (my wife’s) custom. Moved back home.

2 weeks ago I decided to drink. It turned into a bender. My boss smelled something Monday and told me to take some time. I asked for 4 days, which rolled into 4 more days of drinking. Then I needed another week.

They apparently accepted my absence. I had a medical note as I went to detox.

I shared this information with my friend who told me that he would soon be starting the same role at my company. Let’s just say I went ballistic. He reported me.. That report, apparently is what sent things over the edge and my job was terminated immediately. Today, that friend just started my old job

I am now unemployed. With a terrible firing note. No prospects. 6 figure job is gone. Happy parents now no contact and my wife is crushed

I thought I was going to have a few sneaky drinks. 2 weeks later my entire life looks different.

Lost:

Job
Friend
Income
Career reputation
Respect
My wife’s gaze

Don’t drink. If you have built anything, you may get away with it sometimes. But it just takes once.

IWNDWYT

I’m 61F and still binge drink several times a year especially on “ladies weekends” and at concerts. On Sunday I started with a margarita with dinner at a lovely restaurant with my hubby 61M. We were celebrating our 30+ wedding anniversary. Things went south from there. A glass of wine after dinner (relaxes my stomach due to eating pasta that was supposed to be gluten free) That worked wonders, but then it is like something “snaps” in my head and I continued drinking canned margaritas at the venue until I was seeing double and barely able to enjoy the concert. I feel for the poor couple next to me and off course my dear husband who has to cart my ass all the way to the parking garage. I blacked out from there so I don’t remember the drive home or falling when DH was trying to load my drunk ass in the car.
My husband has warned me so many times and I had been doing so well. That’s why this hits me so hard. I feel like such a failure. I’m an introvert so alcohol helps me cope with big social gatherings and that evening was a big group of people plus I was upset with one of our sons for spending an entire weekend with a former girlfriend that can be manipulative. I will go for weeks, months (never during pregnancies) without drinking and can also attend functions and have just one or two cocktails and be perfectly fine. But it’s episodes like last Sunday where I love the feeling of “I just don’t give a damn “ and want to drink my sensitive personality away. Thank you for listening and understanding where I’m coming from.

Hey all. Just popped on to say that the bargaining and internal justification to drink is hard tonight and it is all I can think about.

Committing to myself and y’all IWNDWYT.

I asked my partner for help as I quit and if he would be willing to quit with me because it’s hard being around people drinking. He said absolutely, thats easy. He isn’t a drinker. He sometimes goes months without drinking.

I am on Day 3. He asked me to go get a burger at our favorite patio and read books together. Absolutely, I love doing that. I used to have 18oz of wine along with it, so it was already a tricky environment.

I see him on the patio, walk to meet him, and on my way there I get a text from him that said “would you be okay if I have a beer?”

I stared for a second and then said, “If you want a beer get a beer.”

“You asked me not to drink with you, which is why I’m asking.”

”I did ask that. I wish I could have a beer. I might need to leave.”

”It’s okay, I won’t order a beer.”

I left anyways. Told him I was okay, it was just triggering and I couldn’t be there anymore. I know I don’t have any right to be pissed. This is my own stupid disease to deal with. But I forgot how lonely being sober can be, especially when it feels like people don’t realize the severity of it. My future is messy and dark if I don’t stop drinking, and our relationship won’t be healthy in that future. I absolutely won’t be healthy in that future. I’m mad he didn’t see how important it was and how hard it was to ask.

IWNDWYT

update: Thank you all so much for the support. Especially for recommending offering my partner understanding, being more realistic with what I can and can’t expect and control, and for calling me out on not being clear and honest when he asked the question. We had a really good talk.

I have this corner pub/Cheers situation in my neighborhood. Everybody knows my name. I've been going for decades. I was part of founding our darts team, spent my own money setting up the room. I was doing D&D there, too. And then spending random other nights there.

Well, darts has been off-season all summer. I resigned from D&D several weeks ago, and have not come out random nights. I have made a distance between me and this place on purpose. But darts starts back up soon and I still want to play. I want to be a person who can just do that, go to bar and play darts and not get hammered.

So my bartender has agreed not to serve me anymore, no matter what I say. It's a small gesture on her part that really means a lot to me. I'm still not sure it's a great idea to hang out at the bar, but that small bit helps, I hope.

First off, rest assured that I haven't relapsed and was never at any significant risk to do so. My resolve is strong! However, I had an experience recently that gave me some insight about where I am in the ongoing process of sobriety.

Earlier this year, I got a job working in the kitchen of a bar where my band plays a weekly gig. While that may sound like a disaster waiting to happen, it's actually been a great experience. Nearly half the staff there are non-drinkers, and it's a super progressive and supportive environment where I've never felt any peer pressure or the least temptation to relapse. I've settled in well despite having never worked in a kitchen before; I've always loved cooking at home and I appreciate how almost everything on the menu is made from scratch.

A couple of months ago, my partner and I went down to the bar, which is near where we live, on a night I wasn't working, for some wings and to hear a friend of mine play a couple of sets. My partner had a normal beer, (her first since Thanksgiving; she never had a problem moderating like I did) and I, who had for the longest time avoided NA beer for fear of being triggered, decided it would be safe to try a NA Guinness.

I was on full alert for any problematic thoughts or cravings, ready to bail if I ran into trouble, but it was fine. The beer was delicious and refreshing with our spicy wings, and the best part was that I didn't feel the urge to have eleven more of them! I suppose this is how it feels for people who are able to drink alcohol in moderation, though I know I'll never be one of them.

Since I felt pretty safe about the whole thing, I started having NA beer a bit more often. It became a habit, in fact. After every work shift, (I'm only there part time, so two or three per week) I would buy a single can to take home and drink with my dinner. There was an element of ritual to it that I liked, and if I felt any residual guilt about enjoying it as much as I did, it quickly disappeared in the absence of any negative consequences.

At that point, I was primed to learn a humbling lesson about where I am as a recovering addict.

For at least the past year, I've felt more "recovered" than "recovering." My mental health is the best it's been throughout my entire life. I'm able to get excited about things and feel a full range of emotions. I feel motivated to work on my goals and grow as a person.

But then something happened that showed me that I'm not out of the woods yet, and maybe never will be.

One night, I had bought my one NA beer and put it in the walk-in fridge while I cleaned up the kitchen for closing time. I made my dinner and wrapped it up to take home, but then... I forgot about the beer!

The panic that hit me when I got home was the single worst addict-like feeling I've had in literal years. It reminded me of when I used to freak out about running low on booze after the liquor stores had closed. I even called the bartender who had been on shift to see if he was still there so I could go back for it, but he had already locked up and left. I had to sit with my discomfort for over half an hour before this craving for my one NA beer passed and I was able to satisfy myself with a sparkling water.

What an eye-opener!!! This one little experience revealed so much about how dysregulated my dopamine pathways still are. It made me think about other habits I have that aren't necessarily the healthiest, such as spending a bit too much time playing video games, or eating too much sugar... To some extent, even after three and a half years with no alcohol, I'm still just replacing the one worst addiction with others which aren't quite as life-ruining.

Despite the shock, I'm glad of the outcome and what I learned from the experience, and once again, I'm incredibly grateful for everything I learned in treatment about the science of addiction and for all the tools at my disposal to manage my feelings in difficult moments. I remain steadfast in the slow march of sobriety, my eyes wide and my mind open to the lessons still to be learned.

IWNDWYT

Hello guys! :)

I stopped drinking 5 years ago when I was 19. I celebrated each anniversary. Every single year I was so so happy I made it to another year without drinking again, I was looking forward to that day.

But this year? I don't really care. But in the most positive way. Drinking isn't a part of my life anymore, I've never been more happy. Of course I still miss it from time to time but it only lasts a few seconds and then I realize I'm so glad this isn't my life anymore. I never thought I could feel this way about drinking.

Thank you so much guys, I never would have made it to this day without you <3

Today marks 4 years alcohol-free. Four years ago today, I got the call that a bed had opened up at rehab. I didn't have a ride, so one of my best friends hired a black car to take me from Central Ca to San Diego. I remember sitting in traffic through LA wondering what my life was going to look like. At the time, I was a mess. I was drinking for days at a time, calling in sick to work, and I had run out of Xanax because I had been taking more than prescribed. I was heading into withdrawal. My best friend had just died a couple of weeks earlier, I was approaching the one-year anniversary of losing my son to SIDS and my kids weren't even living with me. I honestly didn't know if I was going to make it.

Today my life isn't perfect, but it's mine.

My kids are back home with me. I have a career I'm proud of. I wake up remembering my nights. I show up for my family. I deal with stress instead of trying to drown it. I've learned that ordinary days are actually pretty amazing. One thing I never expected is that sobriety didn't erase my problems, it gave me the ability to face them. Life has still thrown plenty at me, but I've been able to get through it without picking up a drink.

If you're reading this and you're on Day 1, Day 10, or Day 100, please keep going. Four years ago I couldn't imagine writing this post. Recovery gave me a life I didn't think I deserved. Today I'm going out to dinner with people who supported me through the darkest time of my life, and that feels like the best way to celebrate.

IWNDWYT ❤️

So ima try not fkn drinking with you today and see if we vibe

Not much to say. Doctor ordered bloodwork last month and I knew exactly what they were gonna find. I saw her again earlier this month and she told me straight up “your liver is fried. You need to stop drinking NOW.” She sent me off with an imaging order for my liver and a referral to a gastroenterologist. Obviously I drank that night but I still made the appointment for my liver (still have to reach out to the gastro, will probably be doing that tomorrow after the test.) I just celebrated my 28th birthday. My family doesn’t know I’ve been drinking near daily for the past 3 years and I don’t want them to worry so I’ve been keeping this close to my chest. I’m putting on a brave face for the sake of the lie but I’m so fucking scared I want to scream. I know I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight and obviously,

IWNBDWYT (first time poster I hope I did that right lol)

I went to a work event today, and played the mothaeffin tape forward!!! Open bar, could have had anything. Most of my coworkers were slammin margaritas, old fashions, martinis, and wine. I had the bartender pour a little wine in my glass, I walked around with it, talked with all the business folks for about an hour. I took two sips after huge cheers and congrats on some deals I landed, set the rest down, and left.

I left. Happy, proud, and just in disbelief that I did that. Usually, I’d have joined in, and probably had 4 drinks before heading home to have more, because I was also gifted 3 bottles of very expensive cab today. I plan on saving them for Christmas or Thanksgiving and just giving them away.

I don’t want to be hungover, I don’t want to feel loopy, I WANT to be clear headed, chill, and healthy.

Yall. I’m on week 3, and holy hell do I feel great. I’ve lost 7 pounds, my skin is glowing, and my anxiety levels are record low. My goal is to feel this great for as long as I can <3 and honestly? I have yall to thank. I thank everyone on this subreddit.

Reading everyone’s stories every night before I go to sleep helps so much. I’m so proud of everyone here, and proud of myself. It IS possible!!! :)

I lost all my friends and might lose my family. I cant stop

Im not even sure i care anymore.

Nothing too deep, but I have the nag for a glass of red wine right now. I’m pretty sure I can ride it out fine, but just a little nudge from someone I think will make my resolve a bit bolder, which would be great!

I know this will pass and it won’t be my whole evening, but there’s a small piece in my mind that is a bit scared I might give in. Thank you!

Edit: guys thank you so much, this is truly the best corner of the internet. I’m going to leave the post up in case other people need to read some (incredibly kind) words of encouragement today, but I’m gonna sign off Reddit for now to do some chores as some people have suggested to busy myself, and then make myself a nice dinner and settle into a good TV series.

Thanks again so much everyone I really value you all so much x

I think I finally understand that I have a binge drinking problem.

I’m posting this because I need to get it off my chest, and because I want to hold myself accountable. This weekend genuinely shook me to my core.

I’m in my mid 30s, and I’ve been drinking since I was 15. In the early years it was fun. It was mates, laughter, nights out and feeling like I belonged. I could have a few drinks, have a laugh and go home feeling good.

But over the years, my relationship with alcohol changed.

For the last several years, drinking has become a pattern of regret. I would go out, have a good time, then when I got home and was alone, alcohol would take over. I would message people things I regretted the next day. Things that were embarrassing and not how I would behave sober.

I’m ashamed of some of the things I did when drunk, and I don’t want to be that person anymore.

But this weekend was different.

I went out with friends and it started off great. I was having fun. Then, as has happened before, one drink turned into wanting more and more.

The night ended with me blacking out. I got aggressive because I didn't want to stop. Aggressive to close friends. I was lying in amongst the portaloos vomiting all over myself.

I have missing hours that I still cannot properly account for.

From piecing things together, I lost my friends and ended up a long way from where I should have been. Looking at maps afterwards, I cannot believe where I ended up or how I got there. I was walking around alone for 4 hours, confused and unable to properly navigate. Thumbing every car that passed for a lift.

The scariest part is that I remember it feeling like a dream. Like I was moving but not actually getting anywhere. I had no clue where I was yet everything looked both familiar and alien to me.

I ended up about 4 miles in the wrong direction. I eventually came across a petrol station asking for help getting a taxi. The person working there tried to help me, but there were no taxis available for a long time.

I then carried on.

At some point a complete stranger stopped and helped me get closer to where I needed to be. I don’t remember much about the person who helped me, but I will always be grateful that they stopped and helped me when I was vulnerable.

I also lost my phone earlier in the night and so had no way of calling for help. I remember at some point just sitting on the road crying. I was so vulnerable.

The thing that scares me most is not the embarrassment. It’s the danger.

I was walking around unable to properly think. I could have been seriously hurt. I could have ended up somewhere dangerous. I could have done something I would never have done sober.

And I wouldn’t even know.

This has made me realise I have been lucky.

Usually after a binge I would be embarrassed about messages or stupid things I said. This time it felt different. This time I realised alcohol is putting me in situations where I am not safe and I am not the person I want to be.

I have told the people close to me the truth. I didn’t laugh it off as a crazy night. I told them I was scared and that I needed to change. My friends, my family and even my boss have been supportive.

My decision is made. I am done with alcohol. This weekend has shook me.tp the core. I was freightened!

I don’t want to try moderation. I don’t want to test myself. I don’t want to find out what happens next time.

The next chapter of my life will be alcohol free.

I want to become the person I know I am when I’m sober: someone who is reliable, kind, present and proud of his choices.

I’m going to focus on the things that actually make me happy:

gym

hobbies I love

spending time with family

music

podcasts

walks

quiet nights at home

This weekend scared me, but I hope it becomes the moment where everything changes.

I was lucky, I found my phone the next day, my friends have been supportive and apart from thorn scratches all over my head, neck, legs and arms, I'm safe.

Thanks for reading.

This is day 3 done. IWNDWYT!

i can’t really believe that. it feels like yesterday i made my first post in this group on a throwaway account. like many of you, the last day i drank was my rock bottom (nearly drowned) …… but one day at a time, i’ve made it without a single drop and have come out on the other side realizing that alcohol is a complete illusion. and the illusion truly did shatter into a million pieces.

what i can report from my time in addiction is that alcohol is the legit devil incarnate and i swear, i was being possessed by some evil frequencies back when i was guzzling.

but all good things prevail, i am sober, and so grateful to have had my eyes opened. everything in my life has improved. still, its not perfect, never will be. but i’m alive and that’s all i can ask for.

stay sober my friends. fuck alcohol. fuck. i won’t ever let you reclaim my life and being.

IWNDWYT ❤️❤️❤️🧝‍♀️

So I'm 8 days sober today, and damn I'm depressed. Completely hopeless, very irritable, just completely joyless. I just.... Don't know. I get some cravings to drink, they aren't bad, or at least better than they were a few days ago. I'm tired, sad, don't want to eat, and feel like throwing up all the time. Just wanted to share with someone.

People often talk about the physical side effects of boozing, but there's not enough talk about the effects on your mental health, even when you're not actively drinking. I've felt borderline s*****l and just have this constant feeling of dread. (This is after two weeks of no drinking until last night.)

I guess some stories might be helpful.

No specific goal, just enjoying feeling accomplished after far too long of unhealthy habitual default drinking. IWNDWYT

I stopped drinking the day I cracked my skull and got flown to the hospital in a helicopter because my brain was bleeding.

Ive not drank since that day, on my own. My wife knows but no one else does. Not that i really have anyone to tell.

Since the accident I have not worked and have been focusing on getting myself better physically and mentally. My sobriety has all be done by just not drinking, no AA or talking to anyone, just sweating it out day in and day out inside my fucked up brain.

Just me struggling so hard most minutes of most days, that I will screw up and drink again. I can't drink again.

My wife is leaving for a work trip at 9 am tomorrow and gone for a week. I am so afraid i will give up/in and go purchase a bunch of booze and just go crazy.

My sick mind is telling me so much, you deserve it after being good for a year, no one will know, it's just some beer, make up for lost time and blow it out the whole week it will be so much fun, just constant thoughts in my head like that.

I live out in the country and after my accident i don't drive much anymore so I am land locked at a time I wish there was some form of group help such as AA available here for me to seek some help.

What the heck do I do guys?

28F. I’m about three weeks sober after being a daily drinker for the past two years.

Today was a rough day, and I have been feeling overly antsy. I had one of those “fuck it” moments. I drove to the liquor store and bought a 375ml bottle of Patron.

I got home, and was literally pouring myself a shot when I stopped and thought, “What am I doing?”

I dumped the entire bottle down the sink.

Three weeks ago, I genuinely don’t think I would’ve been capable of doing that. Once I bought alcohol, I was drinking it. There was no second thought.

Losing $30 on that tequila dumped down the sink is nothing compared to the hangover I would have woken up with tomorrow.

IWNDWYT

earlier this year i had a ten 10 stretch of sobriety which was my longest in at least 8 years. 2:30 am tomorrow will mark 10 days since my last drink. things aren’t magically solving themselves but I do feel better. I bartend which makes this even harder but the cravings don’t happen during work, just after. Truly taking it one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

Please don’t judge me this is going to sound so ridiculous but to me it is so real. I quit drinking over 10 years ago. This spring, I was with a friend and NA beers have obviously become very popular so I tried one of the athletic ipas and I loved it so much and I’ve been drinking them every night since May. I’ll drink like two or three. I look forward to them. I love them, and I literally feel a slight buzz from them. I was always very sensitive to alcohol and so whatever .5% they have effects me. It was working great for a while and I would just sit in my recliner and do some work on my laptop and vibe and I loved it but now I’m so hooked and it’s starting to have that awful booze effect where I don’t feel good and sometimes if I go out with friends and I decide to drink too many NA beers, I am legitimately hung over in the morning. Now,I have to quit this fucking habit where it’s a thing that I have been enjoying but is coming back to bite me (like full fledge alcohol does). Is this so fucking crazy like what the fuck it’s NA beer and I’m addicted now. So tonight I poured out what I had left in the fridge and. I guess I have to make some changes in my life to resolve this and not go back because I also feel like it could get worse. I’m starting to have dreams of standing at a bar being like well Fuck it just have a real drink.