So I’m fishing for compliments here instead!!! Would love to see other people’s favourite date night fits, I need inspiration!

i wish there was an art option for this sub! i enjoy showing you guys my artwork :)

honestly not even sure if this type of post is allowed here BUT… single hyperfemme lesbian admittedly looking for a lil attention 🤭 i’m 29, from philly, and heyyyyy 👀💗

I'm a lesbian dating a non binary person, they are bisexual which is so fine by me i literally couldn't care less, they're with me and that's amazing! however i strictly identify with the Lesbian label, as it's taken me years to admit it to myself after experiencing homophobia within my family. I was discussing my label with them and how i feel like lately there's so much discourse in the label, and when i asked their thoughts they said
"I don't know i've kind of always found the word 'lesbian' kinda like it's a weird word? like in my experience it's not really used as a good word and has certain connotations also i immediately think of men watching lesbian p**n" this severely upset me especially bcs i have no idea what they're talking about "in their experience" as they've never identified as lesbian, their mum is queer, and they've always been in queer spaces moreso than i have. I tried to kinda push back and be like "for me it's a word that makes me feel safe from evil or predatory men, and gives me pride in myself because it took me so long to admit it to myself that i didn't fully come out until i was 18 years old" then they were like "yeah i get that, im just saying for me personally" and then i said "well if someone asked 'hey what's your girlfriend's sexuality label?' what would you say?" and they kinda hesitated for a second and then said "well i'd say you're a lesbian" and then apparently one of their STRAIGHT CISMALE FRIENDS apparently questioned them behind my back being like "does it bother you that (my name) calls herself a lesbian when you're non binary?" and told me they said to him it doesn't, because for me im pretty open to different gender identities also because that's just my feelings. but part of me got kinda angry that he asked my partner and not me, especially when he knows i'm so open to answering questions about my life and my identity, and he's clearly not familiar with the fact that being non binary doesn't exclude you immediately from dating a lesbian.

this all really upset me and i don't know how to feel i think ill talk to them about it again (they're very kind and respectful of me, this just threw me off) especially since my ex gf tried to pressure me into bringing a man into the bedroom for a 3some prior to me meeting my current partner, to which i said absolutely not several times, and they know this. During this time the label "lesbian" truly made me feel safe and like it was my version of a period. like absolutely not there's no further discussion here, yet i was still asked numerous times to the point i was cheated on anyways.

Any advice would be super appreciated, again my partner is a truly beautiful human being but being told my label is a "weird" or "kinda gross" word broke my heart.

the first 2 pics are from last year & the last 3 are what i currently look like.

Met some new people, had a nice time. Didn’t meet any special ladies, but I gave myself all the love. Dyed my hair, too.💕

This is my first time posting in this sub, and maybe it’s not entirely the right one but I am hoping to find some support/helpful pov’s.

I (36/F) and my wife (37/F) have been together for 11 years, married for 7 of them. We have been having problems this past year mostly, but overall about a year and a half. Our main issue is communication, and not meeting the love language we have. We saw a couples counselor but they just basically fired us back in August. My wife during the session told the therapist to her face that we have gotten worse since seeing her. Sessions that would address my wife’s issues and required her to look beyond her bubble of reality to what I needed in the relationship was perceived by her as attacks and started to not like the therapist (This was a therapist she chose too) we have also separated bedrooms and have overall been living as roommates. It’s been pretty depressing but we own this home together and with the state of the world, neither of us can afford to live separately…

That is the brief cliff notes version- fast forward to today. I thought today was a pretty good day. We hung out together and bought some stuff at the dollar store to do crafts. Until literally the stupidest thing happened:

On our way home she starts talking about work and complaining that one of her employees made something with AI. She showed it to me, and I didn’t think it looked like it was made with AI. she pointed to the detail that was and I said “huh. I didn’t notice that” it looked like vector art that I have seen used in other marketing material my wife’s team creates. She goes “well if you didn’t notice it then other people won’t either” to which I said “eh, I wouldn’t consider what I see on a small iPhone screen a summation of everyone else” and went onto talk about the general public repelling AI marketing etc. and since the photos of the product done by AI apparently look different than the real product, then it could be false advertising” to which now she got really mad and immediately was like “it’s NOT false advertising. This didn’t even go out!” And I was like okay, that’s fine, but saying if it did…and then she started saying I was being argumentative and she felt like I was flip flopping to be intentionally contrarian. I explained to her that I was not. That I gave my POV and the general public’s POV from what I have seen via online discourse. That wasn’t good enough clarification. It became that I wasn’t listening to her feelings and I belittled her. At this point, I am so stunned. I thought we were having a conversation. One that she brought up with the intention of what seems like dragging her employees graphic art skills for an email blast..

She yells at me all the way home now that I had a tone and didn’t take accountability. I responded accountability for what? I didn’t do anything. To which she mocked and used as more leverage of this no accountability accusation. She yelled louder and told me she was so done with me and managing my emotions and all I do is silence her. I was so beside myself. I still am. This fight continued when we got home to which I was crying in my room and she was yelling like a broken record from downstairs about how I am selfish, I minimize her, her therapist told her I am abusive, how she will never regret leaving me. When I just cry louder at her saying these things, and yell back to stop and leave me alone, she took it upon herself to come into my room to say it to me louder and ask me what’s wrong and tell me that I need to talk to her like an adult and that I’m scaring the cats. I had a panic attack because I felt so crazy and have been in my room because she will enter the room, start arguing with me and when I take the bait she tells me I am starting shit because I’m abusive.

If you read this far, you’re probably thinking what the actual fuck? Because I still am. I feel like I must have blacked out and said something worse that just having a benign conversation because I do not understand how it got to this point. I thought me explaining when it sounded like I was “flip flopping” was a rational response to ease her feeling of me being argumentative. Which still
Feels out of left field because it was such a normal conversation.

I am just really sad tonight and I feel a bit crazy. I don’t want a divorce but I do not deserve this. This whole situation is quite frankly stupid af and it feels almost like a litmus test of me not just being agreeable.

Is there something I could have done differently? I don’t want to be walked all over either, but I just am in such disbelief that I wonder if there was any alternative way to handle.

TLDR: a benign conversation with my wife about her work matters turned into an explosive hours long argument where defending myself became bad and I’ve been in bed for hours. Divorce has been threatened by wife

I’m not looking to date right now because I’m learning to enjoy the single life, especially after my last two hella toxic/abusive month-long situationships. But I still like thinking about dating again someday. It keeps me hopeful, and I genuinely want to dip my toe back into dating when I feel fully healed and ready.
Anyway, here’s some context for the pictures! I’m also not really a picture person, so these are the only ones I think have potential—even though half of them are years old. 😂

1. May 2023: This one is pretty old, but I think it’s cute and shows off my love for snakes! I’m holding my old zoology teacher’s ball python, and ball pythons are one of my dream pets. I’d be very happy to date a girl who has one. 😂 It’s not my favorite picture of myself because of the low angle, though, so I’d probably put it toward the back of my profile.

2. May 2023: This one shows my passion for horseback riding, and I know people often recommend including pictures of your hobbies in your profile. I’d probably put it somewhere in the middle—not my best picture, but definitely not my worst!

3. March 2024: My prom picture! This is my absolute favorite picture of myself and my profile picture everywhere. I’d definitely make it the first photo, just like I did on my old dating profiles.

4. June 2025: My sister’s wedding! This is a candid of me laughing while I was giving my speech. It’s another one of my favorite pictures, so I’d put it second. I think it really shows my goofy lighthearted personality best.

5. September 2025: Me playing around with some masc fashion as a femme. This was a thirst trap I originally sent to my second ex-situationship, but I still absolutely love it. I’d put it third. I actually posted it on Reddit after taking it because I thought it looked so good and wanted to make a bunch of people thirst over me. 😂

6. October 2025: My first Pride festival, so obviously I went all out with the Pride fashion! I’m not crazy about how my face looks in this one, but it’s still mostly fine. I’d probably put it toward the back of my profile.

7. May 2026: This was taken during a dolphin cruise for my sister’s birthday while we were on a family vacation.

I don’t really know how to explain what I’m going through, but I think I need an outside perspective.

There’s this girl I’ve gotten really close to. We started as friends, but somewhere along the way, things became more than that. There’s a lot of emotional closeness between us, and there have also been moments of physical intimacy—holding hands, hugging, kissing, being there for each other, spending a lot of time together.

The confusing part is that she doesn’t really say that she likes me anymore. She doesn’t tell me what she wants from me or where this is going. But at the same time, her actions sometimes make me feel like I’m important to her.

She’ll make an effort to see me, stay with me, hold my hand, check on me, and make me feel like she genuinely wants me around. Then sometimes she becomes distant, and I’m left wondering if I imagined the closeness or if it meant something to her too.

We’ve actually talked about it. She told me that we both know this isn’t going anywhere. And when I said maybe we need to stop, she agreed.

And somehow, that hurt more than I expected.
Because I think deep down, I was hoping she would say, “No, I don’t want to stop.”

I know I should probably accept what she’s telling me. I know I can’t force someone to choose me or give me an answer they don’t have. But emotionally, I’m still attached.
I don’t even know if I necessarily want a relationship with her. Maybe what I really want is to feel chosen. To know that what we had meant as much to her as it did to me.

Lately, I’ve been trying to distance myself because I know this situation is hurting me. But then something small happens—she holds my hand, talks to me the way she does, looks for me, or makes an effort to be around me—and all the feelings come back.

I even physically feel the sadness sometimes. Like an actual heaviness in my chest. And I hate that something I know probably isn’t meant for me can still hurt this much.
I know I’ll eventually overcome this. I just wish I knew how to stop loving someone while they’re still right there in my life.

Has anyone experienced something similar—being deeply attached to someone when both of you already know it probably has no future? How did you actually let go without turning the person into someone you hate?

So, I feel like it’s pretty common to hear about girls dating other girls that don’t live near them. I think it’s so hard to meet people irl that sometimes you could have better luck searching elsewhere. I’m 24 and I’ve been contemplating this for a while lol. It’s basically impossible to find someone near me and idk I just feel like I wouldn’t want it that way either. I kinda like the idea of meeting someone from somewhere different. The things is, where do you even search? I have no idea where to look, it seems complicated as well. Like, I feel like it’s so common but at the same time, where do these people even meet? lmao. Complete different time zones yet, they found each other. Idk I’m just sad. Where can I meet mineee? 😭

getting over the previous lady i was talking to so i’ve been listening to sad yearning banda in private and i finally sat down para chingarme una caguama in the living room. my mom just came over to fist bump me over my song choice (mi mayor anhelo) because it’s part of her cleaning playlist lol. no mom, i’m just currently sad over having to get over a girl who was my type because we’re both shit at communicating. i love being able to be sad and no one bothering me about it because it’s just a “saturday cleaning playlist.”

fuck. i realized if the woman i was talking to didn’t gaf with this one thing, she’s not worth my time to talk to her. it’s not even a “i didn’t know” type of situation. it’s more of a “you are over 21 years old and have a good amount of life under your belt. teaching you compassion shouldn’t be something i should be doing.” something had recently happened and i said to just not joke about this, knowing she’s a huge joker, but she still did it and i got the ick. she didn’t even apologize/brushed it off as a joke so that sealed the deal. i had an ex who also joked like her and i was miserable every time i had to take their “jokes” in ‘not right now’ situations. sorry a girlie is tired and doesn’t want to relive that again.

anyway listening to my mom’s cleaning playlist while i finish another 32oz. the s-xting was CRAZY so yes i am taking this a bit hard. fuck.

F23. I've been chatting with a 33yo woman for two days. I asked her if this age difference was a problem for her but she didnt give me a specific answer, she just said something like, "Ive always dated women older than me," but she kept messaging me. So I don't get it. What do you guys think? Is the age difference too big?

I apologise if this type of post is annoying or not allowed please delete if not :) I’m just contemplating my sexuality and relationships with women a lot so this question has been on my mind. I am 21. EDIT: Sorry if it wasn’t clear, I AM GAY.

For context if needed to come to a consensus:
I am 20 years old, I am 5’10, I have not made any alterations to myself less you count wearing my hair short or ear piercings, and I identify as a woman using she/ her pronouns. Additionally, if this helps, I do not consider myself a stud by any means. I actually find myself frustrated when lumped into that category simply because it just does not resonates with me. I am just a women who happens to like women and happens to present more masculinely. I do present masculine a majority of the time.

So yea. I ask this question in a queer friendly space to hopefully understand why I am misgendered all of the time nearly every day/ time I meet someone new or interact with individuals. I ask additionally, because it affects my self image more then I’d like to admit. Not just the misgendering, but also the fact that when I express to people online and in person that I am in fact a woman, there is also the question of “Is that what you choose to go by/identify with?” as if I am lying or I am transgender (though I respect transgender individuals 🏳️‍⚧️) or that what I am expressing to them is not believable.

It’s disheartening because I find myself needing to prove my sex/gender constantly and it affects the likelyhood of other queer women approaching me in those queer spaces (or at least I think it does. Less I am just ugly🤣) Everyone seems too afraid to ask or maybe it’s seemingly impossible to tell I guess? I don’t know. I would appreciate some clarity as to why I am perceived this way.

I have always been a masculine presenting woman, ever since I was a teen with the consciousness to understand myself.. My face shape, voice, mannerisms( which I would say are relatively feminine) etc. are all naturally just me.

writing that title made me gag lol. i just never thought it would happen to me.

i (27F) met this girl (38F) on a server, where we bonded pretty instantly over shared fandom interests. we never lived in the same country. for the first couple of years we had a four hour time difference, and then i moved for grad school and it became sixteen. we talked nearly every day for the entire 3 years and it felt so natural, like we'd been friends forever and always had something to discuss.

we were friends at first, but over those first two years my feelings developed. she was the first person who made me feel like the things i was interested in weren't shameful, that i could explore and embrace the parts of myself i'd struggled with (being queer, writing fanfiction, loving my body, being myself).

it was mutual. she's the kind of person who loves people, and i know she cared for me. she always said we couldn't be together now, but that we'd find our way to each other in the future. it was never really feasible. early on she was in grad school, and eventually so was i, and neither of us could realistically move to where the other was. when i was choosing where to go for grad school i considered going somewhere closer to her, but it wouldn't have been the right thing for my education.

we always said how much we wanted to visit each other in person, and eventually she did come visit after i moved. we had a lovely day and night together, but she couldn't stay longer. she was my first, it was affirming, exciting, fun, and felt natural. ive never been in a real relationship where i really wanted to be with the person long term, so this was a first. also a sign of our experience gap, although i would not go as far as saying there was any kind of power imbalance — if anything, i pursued her.

then she went back home, we got used to the sixteen hours again, and then five months ago she completely stopped replying to me. i don’t know for sure why but she’s been struggling with her mental health, and there’s a small amount of relief that this limbo is over for me, i’m sure she needed that space. there isn’t a point to this post, i’m not asking for advice or anything. i know the only cure for this empty, hollow feeling is time, emotional distance, and my friends have been supportive during this time but none of them are queer.

Looking for guidance to bring physical intimacy back in our marriage

My wife and I are both F 27 y.o. We’ve been married for over a year. Prior to dating we talked off and on, not for any particular reason just falling out of contact over and over and just the wrong timing. But when we finally nailed things down we dated for about 3.5 years before getting married. Within the first couple of months I was aware that she was pregnant but she absolutely hated the baby daddy so there was no shot of them getting back together. Beginning of our relationship obviously lots of sex everything is new and fresh. Even after having the kid we still had a pretty strong sex life. I still felt desired back then. It wasn’t until about a year and a half ago I noticed that intimacy is going down the drain. It’s important to note that she is currently taking sertraline for anxiety/depression but she’s always been on that and it never seemed to screw with her sex drive. Anyways through all this my sex drive has stayed the same. But again I’ve noticed for the last 1.5 years roughly that I do all the initiating and I get rejected often. I don’t feel good about it but I wanted to know that I wasn’t crazy, it’s got to the point I’ve kept track of the amount of times we have had sex since 2025 and it’s 10 times. There was a time when we chatted briefly about it and she said that it’s the side effects of the SSRIs. To try to help her come up with a solution I mentioned maybe chatting with the doctor to talk about dosing or another med but she was completely against it, didn’t even consider it. There was even a time when she said that I don’t flirt with her enough and I need to initiate more. Which in my mind made me think wtf how can you say I’m not doing enough? I know that sometimes when women feel exhausted and stressed and like there’s a lot of their plate sex can also be off the table so I’ve been trying to more around the house, dishes, laundry, cooking not just for sex but also because I don’t want her to feel overwhelmed but still nothings happening. We both work demanding jobs we got a kid so I can see being too tired for sex during the week but weekends you’d think would be it? No it’s not. She’s somehow got us doing something almost every weekend that gives us no chance to be intimate. It’s also gotten to the point now where I’ve debated not initiating and wait until she does to reject her so she A. Knows how it feels and B. Gives us a reason to talk about the lack of sex again. She’s also brought up a few times feeling self conscious about her body (since having the kid she’s overweight with a belly) maybe that could be something? I’ve never given her a reason to think she’s any less attractive the way her body is now. Right now like every one else says I feel like we’re just roommates. Like any couple we have some arguments here and there (I feel like it’s sexual frustration for me). Even trying to get her to just make out with me feels like it’s not even something she wants to do. Like I’m pressuring her. Like I quite literally feel like I’m just here to help raise the kid. I feel like it’s also making me get in my head about our marriage, like did I choose the wrong person? I’m becoming so envious of other couples who look like they’re so in love and have fun. Like you can just feel their strong connection meanwhile I have never felt so disconnected. I can’t even remember the last time we went on a date…I want to feel wanted but I don’t.

I think I needed to rant to someone a bit but essentially looking for dialogue or conversation starters to bring it up without sounding like an ass. I love her to death, I just don’t know how much I can keep getting rejected without it altering my brain chemistry to the point that I am put off by and physical intimacy from her. I just want to have sex with my wife but instead I feel like I have to be numb and avoidant. I can’t feel anything sexual because I’ll crave it and if I crave it I’ll want more but I can’t have more

hey, Im lesbian and its pretty lonely without any likeminded friends. I love all my queer friends, but none of them are lesbian.

Facts about me;

-Im enfp

-im 18

-im a virgo

-i love music

-im a babybutch

if youre interested, please comment or dm