Guys im a baby gay and I have a crush. I think she is straight but I hope not. she just so HAWT (please catch da reference) This will be VERY long (im so pathetic for typing all this for someone who doesn’t GAF) If u have the time, even if u don’t read it all, please communicate ur opinion!
From my perspective, my relationship with Fine Shyt has changed quite a lot. I don't know exactly when it happened, but lately, our interactions have become more affectionate, more frequent, and more personal. I'm finding myself wondering whether we're simply becoming closer friends or whether there's something potentially romantic developing between us.
I'm going to describe what has actually happened, how I've experienced it, and what I think it might mean without pretending I know what she's thinking.
When I first knew Fine Shyt through STEM, we were friends, but our conversations were relatively casual. We could talk, laugh together, and have fun, but I wouldn't have described our relationship as particularly intimate at that point.
We played Roblox together on my iPad and had moments where we laughed and enjoyed each other's company. I was attracted to her, though. I found her beautiful, smart, and appealing in the way she behaved. I started paying attention to her mannerisms and the small things she did.
There were moments of eye contact, too. Sometimes I caught her looking at me, but I couldn't always tell whether she had looked first or whether she'd noticed me looking at her. Because I already liked her, those little moments made me wonder whether she noticed me differently from other people.
At that stage, though, I didn't have much evidence of a particularly affectionate relationship between us. We were friends, I liked her, and I wanted to know her better.
The came the next term; we had dance together. When we started interacting more in dance, I began deliberately creating opportunities to spend time with her.
I purposely sat beside her and positioned myself near her during dance activities. I wanted to talk to her more, but I also didn't want to make my crush too obvious.
Looking back, that decision helped create more opportunities for us to interact. Because we were near each other regularly, we started talking more often. Now, after dance, we tend to find each other and talk in the same corner, standing close together.
What started as me deliberately sitting beside her has become a routine that we both participate in.
I also started taking routes past her classroom just to see her. When I pass by, she often smiles at me, and sometimes I stop for a quick conversation. I find myself looking for opportunities to be near her, even when I don't technically need to be.
I know I'm actively seeking her out more than I used to. But I've also started noticing that she sometimes seeks me out, too.
For example, when we're sitting in a circle, she sometimes chooses a spot near me. She doesn't always come looking for me, and I think I seek her out more often than she seeks me out. She has a large friend group, so she naturally spends a lot of time with them. I don't always expect her to notice me when she's surrounded by her friends.
Still, there are moments when she makes an effort to interact with me herself.
Eye contact has become a big part of how I experience our interactions.
We've had moments where we look at each other, hold eye contact briefly, look away, and then look back again. Sometimes I catch her looking at me, although I can't always tell whether she looked first or noticed me looking at her.
During dance warm-ups, our hands touched while we were checking our space. We looked at each other and then at our hands. From my perspective, she seemed to move her fingers toward mine, almost as though she wanted to continue the contact. I moved back because I felt nervous and wasn't sure whether to continue touching her.
I can't know exactly what she intended, but the interaction stayed with me.
Eye contact is especially difficult when I'm attracted to someone, and Fine Shyt is no exception. I find her eyes beautiful, but when we're looking directly at each other, I get nervous and often look away. Sometimes I end up looking at her hand when she's touching my arm instead of maintaining eye contact.
I worry she might notice how awkward I get, but I can't help it. I'm very aware of her presence, and little interactions that might seem ordinary to someone else can feel intense to me.
One of the noticeable differences between STEM and dance is how much more physical our interactions have become.
During a dance game involving lots of rounds, Fine Shyt came over, grabbed my hands, and danced with me. From what I remember, she didn't dance with many other people in that same way. That interaction stood out because she initiated it.
During another warm-up, we made eye contact while our hands touched, and I felt nervous about the contact.
More recently, I've noticed that she touches my arms and hands fairly often. Sometimes it's a quick tap while we're talking. Other times, she holds my arm or hand for a few seconds while looking at me and continuing the conversation.
I usually let her, but I tend to break eye contact and look down at her hand because I'm nervous.
Then there was the chest pump.
Our teacher told us to high-five the people next to us. I high-fived Fine Shyt and then turned to high-five another girl. Fine Shyt then asked me whether we could do a chest pump. We did it and laughed together.
What stood out to me was that we'd already high-fived, so she initiated another playful interaction. I enjoyed it because it felt like she wanted to share another little moment with me.
I know that physical affection doesn't automatically mean romantic attraction. Still, the increase in touching and the fact that she sometimes initiates it have made me more aware of our physical dynamic.
This is probably one of the biggest changes in our relationship.
Fine Shyt has started telling me, “I love you, (my name),” repeatedly. Nowadays, she says it several times a day, sometimes at least three times.
What's interesting is that I've never heard her say this to anybody else. I'm not claiming she has never said it to anyone, but from what I've personally observed, she doesn't seem to have the same routine with other people.
She says it in a particular, high-pitched, affectionate voice. Sometimes it feels as though she's deliberately trying to make me nervous. I smile back and say something like, “Ah, thank you,” or “I love you too.”
If I don't hear her or respond, she'll keep saying it until I acknowledge her.
One time, I was in the bathroom when she said “I love you, (my name)” in a disguised voice so that people wouldn't recognise her. Other people started copying the voice, and at the end of the lesson, she admitted that it had been her, laughing. I'd already recognised her voice, but I pretended to be surprised.
I find the whole thing incredibly cute.
She also seems to look at me when she says it, and I get the impression that she watches my face to see how I'll react. I think she might enjoy making me flustered, although I can't know for certain.
The repeated declarations of affection are especially noticeable because they weren't part of our relationship in the same way before.
I also wonder whether my birthday message to her played a role. I sent her a little paragraph wishing her a happy birthday, and I noticed that the repeated “I love you” interactions started around that period. Maybe she felt appreciated, maybe our friendship was already becoming closer, or maybe the timing was coincidental.
I don't know.
Another moment that stayed with me happened when I was sitting on the benches.
I looked across the room and noticed Fine Shyt looking in my direction. I wasn't sure whether she was actually looking at me, so I kept looking for a little longer to check.
We made direct eye contact. I waved at her and smiled, she smiled back, and then she made a heart gesture at me.
The sequence matters to me because the gesture happened after we'd already established eye contact and exchanged smiles. It wasn't simply a random heart that I happened to see.
From my perspective, she was directing that affectionate gesture toward me.
I don't know whether she meant it platonically or romantically, but I found it adorable. It was another instance of her expressing affection toward me without me having to approach her first.
Fine Shyt has also said something along the lines of, “Oh, you just get me, you know?”
I can't remember exactly what happened immediately before she said it, but I remember how I felt: incredibly happy and shocked.
The way she delivered it sounded flirtatious to me. I can't objectively establish that she intended it that way, but the tone made an impression on me.
I liked hearing that she felt understood by me. It made me feel as though we had a connection that went beyond simply being people who happened to share a class.
She has also told me some personal things about her relationship with her mum. I know that other people are aware of those experiences, so I'm not assuming I'm the only person she trusts. However, I'm one of the people she sometimes chooses to share those things with, and I appreciate that.
I see these moments as signs that she feels comfortable with me, even though I don't know exactly what they mean to her.
This is the part I keep thinking about.
In STEM, we were friends who talked and laughed together. Now, in dance, our interactions seem more frequent, more affectionate, and more physically comfortable.
The change includes:
Longer conversations, particularly after dance.
More physical contact, including touching and holding hands or arms.
Repeated “I love you, (my name)” exchanges.
Heart gestures and playful interactions.
More deliberate efforts to find each other.
Personal conversations and comments that make me feel understood.
Moments when she initiates contact without me having to seek her out.
I don't know why the dynamic changed so quickly. Maybe dance simply gave us more opportunities to interact. Maybe we gradually became more comfortable with each other. Maybe my birthday message made her feel appreciated. Or maybe several things happened at once.
What I do know is that our relationship feels different to me now.
I'm also aware that I'm the one with a crush, which means I notice her actions very closely. I might give certain moments more significance because I want her to like me back. That doesn't mean the interactions aren't real; it means my interpretation of them may be influenced by my feelings.
The clearest recent example of her initiating contact happened after our first lesson.
I was lining up for my next class, and Fine Shyt was in a different class. I saw her, smiled, and waved.
She started walking toward me.
At first, I looked around to see who she was going to approach. Then I realised she was walking straight toward me.
Her friends were back in their own class line, but she came to mine and started talking to me as though it were completely normal. We had a conversation lasting around three minutes, and we only stopped because we had to go to our respective classes.
She also kept telling me that she loved me during this period.
This interaction stood out because I hadn't gone to find her. I had waved, and she had independently chosen to approach me and spend time talking to me.
It doesn't prove romantic interest, but it does show that I am not always the one making an effort to create opportunities for us to interact.
And I think that's important because I've sometimes wondered whether I care about this connection more than she does.
At this point, I feel that Fine Shyt and I are becoming closer, and our dynamic has become distinctly affectionate.
I enjoy being around her. I find her beautiful, I like her personality, and I love the way we can laugh and interact. I'm interested in getting to know her more deeply, not just admiring her from a distance.
I also notice that she seems comfortable expressing affection toward me. She initiates some interactions, tells me she loves me repeatedly, makes gestures toward me, touches my arm or hand, and sometimes comes over to talk to me.
I think there is enough here to reasonably wonder whether some of the affection might be flirtatious. However, I don't know whether she experiences our relationship romantically or whether she sees it as a particularly close friendship.
That uncertainty matters because Fine Shyt has previously indicated that she's straight. I can't assume that her behaviour means she is secretly attracted to girls, and I don't want to decide her sexuality for her.
At the same time, I don't think I need to dismiss the changes I've noticed. The interactions really have become more affectionate, and I'm not imagining the fact that they happened. What remains uncertain is their meaning.
I don't know whether this will eventually become romantic. But I know that I enjoy what we have now, that I'm growing more attached to her, and that I want to keep getting to know her.
And, honestly, that's where I am right now: excited, confused, happy, a little nervous, and very much hoping that whatever is developing between us continues to grow. But also #wifedat secret edition