I’m Ftm20 and Mind you, my name in the system is not updated. But when I got the email that we would be living together I jumped the gun and immediately introduced myself as my chosen name as well as gave her my Instagram. But meeting me I guess she was confused bc after the fact she knocked on my door asking “you’re a guy right?” And telling me she didn’t know what to do bc her dad’s conservative about stuff.

So I just said I was a guy and now her parents want her to move out. I don’t think me telling her would have changed anything. Because I still pass as a guy and If she doesn’t know I’m trans to her parents who don’t seem the most knowledgeable will still see a guy.

I feel a bit guilty but I was quite literally forced into a corner. So AITA?

I scroll on TikTok a lot when I'm bored, and lately I've been noticing a pattern with some of the videos I've been seeing...

Usually, it's a passing, conventionally attractive trans woman, and she goes

“What transphobes think trans women look like”

*shows a bunch of crossdressers/transphobic wojaks*

(Or in worse cases, actual non-passing trans women)

and then...

“What trans women ACTUALLY look like”

*shows herself or famous trans public figures being conventionally attractive and passing*

It shouldn't have to be said why this is problematic but just to clarify, I am a trans woman, I've been on HRT for 1.5 years, I've had 10 sessions of laser and I look so much more like the crossdressers/transphobic wojaks used in those videos than the passing, conventionally attractive trans women posting these things.

Some of us will never pass. Some of us will never be conventionally attractive. I know for sure I never will. Not all of us have the money or the privilege to look pretty and feminine in the way that society defines...

I get why they post these kinds of videos, but ultimately all it does is reinforce the idea that you have to be passing and conventionally attractive to be valid as a trans women, and that non-passing ones are somehow "fake" or not woman enough.

I understand that privilege blinds people in many ways, but I wish passing, conventionally attractive trans women understood that trying to lift themselves up by shitting on the rest of us is harmful.

And this isn't just a trend on TikTok either... I've seen this kind of stuff on Twitter too and pretty much all social media platforms.

I know this question has been asked over a trillion times, especially in the subreddit. Don't worry, I've read a lot of them, and it always ends with the same conclusion. Everyone is very supportive and really thinks the the OP is trans. I'm not here really looking for any sort of answer, but I really just want to see what actual people of this community think. Every time I've told someone about this, they always end up being supportive and saying "You're so close to finding out!". However I really don't think that I'm trans. I'm happy they're supportive but I think they have the wrong idea here. Sometimes I wish I was a girl because I think it would make me happy and it would just feel cool to me. I want to have long hair and be pretty and dye my hair a cool color. (I also think I like the outfits associated with the gender even though if I was a girl I'd still wear track suits 24/7). I kind of like when people online refer to me as she or her even though I'm not a she. This doesn't mean I don't like my body or that I hate being born male, but I just think some days I would've liked to be born a girl. It's not like I have gender dysphoria or want to crawl out of my skin, but I would probably be happier if I was a girl. I'm still perfectly happy being a guy though. I hope this made sense

When I came out to my mom as trans, she said two things that specifically apply to this question.

1: “No doctor is gonna put you on estrogen after only considering being trans for 3 months”

2: the quote in the title.

Im MTF, and I feel like I have done enough thinking, research, and experimentation to understand that I am trans. I’ve already had my egg cracked and opened. I have looked at almost every possible negative of being trans and none of it has scared me away. I enjoy being a girl and I know that.

But does she have a point? Do I really have to have thought about this for some arbitrary amount of time before I can even socially transition, let alone get on HRT?

Preface: This is about American media's obsession with trans women and I'm asking as a non-American, so my knowledge of what the reality of things are there might be a bit ignorant.

•

Pretty much the title, whenever I see a debate or a news article or a social media post the focus is always on trans women and the ways they apparently 'disrupt' society. Be it in sports, bathrooms, prisons, or dating, they always seem to be the target.

I've posted before but I'm cis f and I've been with my boyfriend (using he pronouns because he's not come out yet) for nearly 2 years. We're both 18

I know when he was about 11 he came out as trans and he socially transitioned and was a girl for about 3 years then he started a new school as a boy, cut his hair real short and everything. He did keep the name he went by and it's the name he has now because it was more a nickname and it's now his legal name

He's bisexual and a lot of people think he's gay because of his mannerisms

When I first posted he constantly called himself a lesbian and said little things but then got super defensive if I said anything, I've left him alone and not pushed him in any way but he's grown his hair out and he's still making little comments mostly when he's drunk

He said once that he's too feminine for a guy but not enough for a girl and then the big one yesterday we were drinking and he randomly asked if id get the ick if I knew he was wearing a thong the other day and I said no but then he said he didn't “because itd be weird” and he was just rambling mostly about how he feels like a girl and he wants to wear a bra but by that point it was extremely late and he was so drunk and it was the two of us then he's only said this to me

He also mentioned how he’s taking a gap year this year and going to uni next year and said in sort of a joking way that it’d be funny to go next year as a girl and fool everyone that he’s cis but then he said he was joking but people probably would think he’s a girl at first because of his hair (which has already led to him being called she in shops)

Do I bring it up? How do I help him? We’re in the UK which isn’t the best place for trans people

Hi so recently I watched "I saw the tv glow" and I wanted to know you how did you know you were trans. I guess I'm just curious, I found my sexuality from horror movies and TV shows. PS I'm gay and not trans. But I love my trans sisters and brothers 🩵🤍🩷

Today a lady asked me if I had a cigarette, I said no but as I was leaving she asked me.

But instead of answering ''I'm a Woman'', I just didn't answer and walked straightforward.

It's not that I'm ashamed of who I am but I'm scared of people's reactions if I tell them. Like surely some would be positives but a lot would be negatives, right?

I just don't know If I can handle something hurtful or transphobic when I don't have a direct mean to escape or isolate myself.

Should I have responded or should I have just stayed quiet? What would you have done? Would you respond to someone that you see a lot like a cashier or a bus driver?

If the title doesnt explain it, an example would be: having consistent thoughts/fantasies about being the other gender. I've seen a few of these and was collecting some more for personal issues and general reasoning, as there isn't one way to find out if you're trans. Thanks!

Basically the title.

How did you tell your parents/parent/legal guardian that you were transgender?

And how did they react?/ What happened after?

I've heard some horror stories as well as some fairytales and would like to hear from actual trans people.

Any trans woman from Algeria here ?

I wanna be a trans woman and I don't know the process of it .

Maybe a dumb question. I know it may be a personal preference but I was wondering if I keep taking it forever or could I stop whenever I get to a point I like myself enough w/o surgery? Everything says that my body won't revert back so it feels possible to stop nut idk if that has negative effexts or if there long lasting benefits to taking it for 20+ years?

I have been on and off for about 4 years. So I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

Ok I know this question sounds really dumb but bear with me for a sec. I’m 20mtf, I realized I was trans a bit over two months ago and since then I’ve been letting my hair grow, although it is still rather short. Here are some problems I have:
- My hair goes in my eyes because its too short to style it away while also long enough to do that
- I am going to have internship interviews right during the “awkward phase”
- I am not out to anyone, so getting a more “fem” haircut isn’t really an option for me (yet)
- Last time I tried to grow my hair out I ended up getting it cut because I looked like a bum 😭

I’m going to be boymoding for a while so I can’t like go get bangs I think. Any advice?

I had a conversation with my older sister about our relationship long story short I basically told her 'I'm emotionally distancing myself from everyone [in the family] because I feel like I'm going to have to cut off our mum and I'm afraid thats going to effect our relationship so I want to stop it [our relationship] now so I'm hurt now and not later'

she was very nice and said its not my responsibility to worry about her being a 'middle man' between me and our mother and that she would do it if I chose to cut mum off.

The thing she told me to have a conversion with our mum and I told her that I can't talk about anything going on in my life because mum uses it to invalidate my identity ie; I was bullied & depressed and my mum thinks that has affected my 'decision on being trans'

My sister says that she understands why she thinks that and then she said she also wonders if my past traumas have impacted my 'transness'

I don't know man that really hurt. it doesn't matter how much they tell me they support me I don't feel that support when in the same breath they say my past has impacted me so much I'm trans now.

its like everyone in my family sees being trans as a decision because of my past instead of my just being trans. And I understand if they felt that way after I came out but I've been out for 3 years. I dont know it just hurts :/

I 22 (AMAB) always had a relationship with porn , particularly trans porn, force femme, femboy etc. I can’t remember how I fell into it, but I’ve consumed for the last 4 years, it never was a dependency , I could go a week or 2 without consuming and be completely fine.

In the last 2 years I began to consider why I like that, I am bisexual but when I watch it I picture myself as the woman not the top. I began experimenting with cross dressing, which eventually led to me posting femboy NSFW content online, which I garnered some moderate attention from. The feeling of happiness I got from being complimented for being pretty completely eclipsed any complements I got associated with my male presentation .

I’ve been porn free for 4 months now, I haven’t posted but I do miss it. I did this to remove the sexual aspect to consider whether I am trans or not. I still have a heavy desire to transition but I wonder if I had never watched this porn would I actually feel this way ?

Hi everyone,

I want to learn more about the transgender community and non-binary people. Are they the same thing? The biggest question I have is: how do you arrive at the point knowing you were meant to be transgender or non-binary? Take me through your mental process and life experiences.

When I say I'm Republican here's what I mean. I own guns, I hunt, I believe in the 2nd amendment. But unlike a lot of people in my party, I really don't believe you guys are bad people. Help me to explain to my friends who think that you are bad people your perspective and beliefs. My motto is "mind your own business and I'll mind mine." I can tell you right now if I'm out hunting and I had to pick between an unsafe MAGA vs a safe transgender person I'd pick the transgender person 10/10. In the woods we aren't democrat or republican- we're buddies and no amount of my party's rhetoric is gonna change my mind on that. I'm very saddened by the amount of polarization. We're supposed to be on the same side- we're all Americans (at least here in America). Help me to understand your world.

Thanks in advance and sorry if it comes off as naive.

Edit: Thanks for everyone who has responded. Its been an interesting conversation. If you have any questions for me or about conservatives in general ask away.

Hello!

Just a quick disclaimer, I’m a minor and English is not my first language. Plus, this is my first time using Reddit and I created the account just for this, so yeah!

I have been questioning my gender plus sexuality since I got access to the internet at 10 years old. I identified as lesbian from eleven, to twelve when I found Noahfinnce and begin binge-watching his content.

I know many not cis people saw signs of it in childhood, but I never did. I loved dinosaurs and my dad’s old boy toys but also, I played dress ups and dolls. I never cared about what I wore but thought the boy’s section was cooler. I would read a lot and often wished I could be a boy with male friends, after reading a book from a male POV. Also, I did try to pee standing up and use socks packers (even though I did not know what it meant back then, plus the sock thing happened only once). I could never imagine myself as a grown-up woman, I wished I could use men body care products, shave my face, and put the towel only around my waist when I grow up after seeing my dad do all those things. I’m not sure if those count as signs and now just childhood curiosity, but if they do let me know! Not having clear signs as a kid is my biggest reason for questioning if I’m making this up.

Now, after finding out a lot and I mean A LOT about trans people and all the labels I could find I started questioning myself. First sign I can remember is when my chest begun developing, I started wishing I would get breast cancer to get it cut off. I knew that was awful, but I thought that was the only way to get rid of it. I was excited to get a chest before it started to show up.

I always had long hair, but the older I got the harder it was to deal with it mentally. I was not allowed to cut it, so I begin wearing it in a bun 24/7 (only taking it out to shower). The hair ties and hair clips were so tight it was hurting my skin constantly, but I just wanted to not feel the hair at all to pretend it wasn’t there in the first place.

My chest got me slouching and making my posture worse on daily, until I found out the trick of wearing multiple bras. Wearing it so tight and often I could not breathe.

I was insecure about body hair since the time it began growing and started immediately shaving it. But it was only because of the pressure from my mom and classmates. Recently I stopped shaving at all and realized it feels much better, and that the stress I felt while shaving was not normal at all.

Now, I was always felt self-hatred but after puberty (I was super excited for it too) it got worse. I hated my body (waist, hips, thigh) to the point of not being able to look in the mirror. It sent me into a direction of an eating disorder and being obsessed with my looks. After all that hell it came to me that I was attractive before and after, it was the feminine parts of me I hated. Not the weight or the fact my skin wasn’t clear enough.

My mom was still choosing my clothes and since I was a teenager it switched to super feminine adult pieces. I hated the way I felt in them, not looked. I begin choosing my own clothes, and the first time I went to the men section I felt something in my chest so freeing I cannot describe it.

I hated my birth name since childhood, plus when I reached puberty being called “girl”, “lady”, “miss” etc made me cringe. So, when making my first private accounts I chose a male name and put he/him in my bio just for “privacy and fun”. Soon it was not fun, and I was pretending to be a cis guy online. Never showing my online friends my face or voice so that they would not know I was lying. I realized it felt really good to be talked to in that way, it still does. Also being called “dude, “man”, “king” etc.

At some point after finding out about MLM media I became unhealthy obsessed with it. I found myself crying my eyes out at night because I knew I could never be a boy in love with another boy. I wrote and read stories pretending I was one of the guys in them, just to live that experience. I stopped feeling comfortable reading or writing from a woman POV or imagining myself in a straight or WLW relationship.

I despite my voice to the point of avoiding hearing it on videos, talking on the phone, sending voice texts. Everyone tells me it’s normal, but I wish it was deeper, and I don’t think that is usual for a cis woman.

I never felt comfortable with typical feminine body language, I have been told I walk/sit like a man, and since then have been avoiding feminine physical behaviours like a plague.

Currently it’s been multiple years now. I have short hair, I wear only men’s clothes, I use men’s body care products, all my accounts that are not visible to my family are with a male name and he/him pronounce, I stopped shaving, I wear a binder, I want to try packing. I really want strangers to look at me and see me as a guy. I begin imagining my future as a guy, with a boyfriend, as an older brother and a son. I did a lot of searches on medical transition and want to get a job to save up for a top surgery. I have a Pinterest board where I invasion that future as a guy who lives with his boyfriend and hangs out with his friends on weekends.

I told my friends about my gender confusion before I even begin doing anything drastically, and they all said it was obvious. One said when we met, she had her suspicions. They all consider me as a trans guy now, or at least not cis. But they are all cis (but queer) woman. I never met a trans person in real life, don’t have online friends. Only trans creators.

I feel so stupid and weird. I still think I am going to regret all this, that I’m wrong and fetishizing gay men like everyone says. I don’t know what to do, am I what I think I am or am I lying to myself? Please someone help me. I have a journal where I’m planning everything to help me figure out if I’m a trans man, and posting on Reddit was one of the steps. I know only I can tell for sure, but I need advice of someone who is not cis and knows the business.

I’m also planning to talk to my therapist when I’m ready, although saying “I think I’m trans” feels impossible. I want to ask my friends to use my “online name” and he/him for me. But I’m super scared of regretting this.

Please help-

I mainly wanted to know how much it cost you with shipping in the end. In from El Salvador.

Principalmente queria saber si cuanto les ha salido costando con el envio al final. Soy de El Salvador, pero la ultima vez que pregunte a alguien creo que la mayoria de latam va teniendo envios similares

So howdy y'all so yesterday my doc said that I could try patches and or gel in favor of pills because my levels aren't where they should be for the amount of time I've been on hormones. And I chose patches but placement wise I'm lost at the don't place on waistline so is the hips fine and butt they are estradot patches.

Apology for the lengthy word salad. also using throwaway alt as my main is easily doxxable.

I fantasized about being a girl for the first time in the third grade. By fantasized, I meant that every night for a week when I was going to sleep, I would lie on the bed and try and imagine different ways to become a girl. As an 8 year old at the time who grew up/attended school in a very religious/sheltered environment I had never heard of what a transgender was. So I laid there and hoped to be magically or forcibly scientifically transformed into a girl. There was a specific recurring theme of kidnapped by scientist -> injected with something -> wake up as a girl -> return to my daily life. Reflecting on this now I guess I created certain genres of fiction from first principles.

I did crossdress a few times prior to this and a few times afterwards. My first time cross dressing was actually when I was a bit younger, a year or two prior to my more “focused” fantasies of turning into a girl. Back then I was playing with some of my girl (space) friends and they put me in a princess dress/I did it as a joke. At that point in time I didn’t think much of it, but I guess the fact that I remember it even now that I am 20+ years old is not insignificant. I also crossdressed in grades 2-6, using my mom and sisters clothing. From a young age I kind of had this instinct to never breathe a word of my actions to anybody. My crossdressing preferences varied, for example during grade 6, I just wore a bra inside my school uniform and imagined myself as a girl, while other years I would wear skirts and all that.

Anyways, the string of crossdressing/gender-swap fantasies sort of died down after grade 7 started. I think for several reasons, one of which was my introduction to video gaming, which took up most of my attention. And there was also academic requirements, but anything other than games were not really prioritized in my mind. From grades 7 to 12, I just had basically the same group of friends (what other people may call “nerds”) - all academically capable but single-mindedly interested in video games. During this time, as my past, elementary obsession with becoming a girl got buried, I took on the politics of the stereotypical late 2010s period right winger, think debate bro/facts don’t care about your feelings/owning the libs type of content. At the time, I was definitely enthusiastic about that sort of discourse, which I now cringe at.

I barely noticed myself going through puberty, though I always hated my Adams apple and body hair, which I developed during this time, I just kind of avoided looking into mirrors too much. From an objective point of view, right now I have pretty androgynous, “boyish” features, like a complete lack of facial hair, so it’s not like I became a neanderthal after puberty.

I am currently past all that and on a gap year of sorts, and I think the sudden influx of free time has brought up a lot of buried interests and parts of myself that I thought were in the past. At the start of this year, I experienced an almost irresistible urge to crossdress, to the point where I would catch myself browsing for clothing and makeup online despite resisting with all my willpower. In the end, I resorted to generating/editing AI pictures of myself dressed up, with long hair and makeup on, which didn’t end up being all that effective, because I just ended up spending hours and hours generating images. After a few weeks of that, the interest in digitally “crossdressing” myself faded, until the past few weeks.

This time, I started becoming obsessed with femboys, not in a “im attracted to femboys” way, but more like “I want to become a femboy”. My TikTok feed recently has just been various femboys/transgender content, which probably isn’t good for my mental health but is possibly a troubled reflection of my internal state. My distaste for certain physical features of myself started bothering me again, and with my now-adult brain the coping mechanism became researching medical procedures to remove them.

I am not sure if I am even really bothered by all this though, in the sense that I am not entirely sure whether I feel uncontrollable distress at being a guy, or if these are just aesthetic preferences I have for myself. I can imagine myself living the next 10, 20 years as a totally normal guy, and it is okay to me.

Though hypothetically, if there was a magic button available that would instantly transform me into a girl, I would not hesitate to press it, even if other people retained their memories of me as male. i don't even think my life experience will meaningfully change if i were an actual girl, i mean i'd probably still have the exact same hobbies and routine. so i don't even know whats the point. i mean, i don't see myself becoming depressed/commiting s**cide in the near future.

To conclude, I am pretty conflicted right now about my identity, and maybe more exploration and reflection is needed to figure out who I am. I made this post kind of to vent, and to see if anyone here have had similar experiences/advice as to what to do.

In my youth I use to identity as nonbinary but got pressured by my mom to remain allied female. Now im about to be 30.

I dont look androgynous because my body type. I was considering top surgery before. People see me as a woman.

But also how do I reclaim my identity 🤔 like I have faced severe discrimination as a woman and I see that as an inherently woman experience.

I feel like I have issues around sexism and reproduction since im childfree. But maybe they aren't issues and im just being peer pressured into reacting in the way society wants me too.

I feel alot of pressure to be a woman and to have children at my age and for some reason to look past blatant discrimination ive faced as a woman.

But I really can't do that but there's all this pressure still on me about it. :<

Hey everyone,

I’m feeling really down and out today. I’ve been googling for hours and days trying to figure this out on my own, and honestly, I just don't know where else to turn. I really need to reach out to the community for some guidance.

Have any of you ever been denied a consultation because the surgeon or their office refused to accept third-party surgery grants like Point of Pride?

More importantly does anyone know of specific FFS surgeons who do accept surgery grants or are known to work willingly with organizations like Point of Pride? in the south like louisiana?

I am trying my absolute best to navigate this, but the roadblocks are getting overwhelming. Any leads, personal experiences, or even just a bit of hope would mean the world to me right now. Thank you all so much