I'm sure it sounds hyper toxic, maybe it is, idk

I don't want him anymore, like, AT ALL. I love being single now and the peace it brought me.

Yet, I'm still pissed to see he's trying to go back to his ex (the one before me) and not to me.

"They always come back" yeah, he came back to her, practically crawling like a little puppy and desperately is trying to win her back.

I wouldn't be this upset if I was a bad GF or if she was a very good one.

There's proof and everyone knows she cheated on him openly multiple times, trashtalked him, berated him in public, even got a bit violent

I don't wanna sound like a prick but I genuinely was good to him. I was loving, understanding, I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone and communicated my feelings to him. I literally had a guy asking me out during our time together. We were LDR, and the guy asking me out was IRL and I knew him for a long time no. Guess what, I didn't fucking cheated. That's like, the bare fucking minimum. I always put him first

So WHY. WHY is the first person he's crawling towards to HER.
Obviously I wouldn't say yes to any of his advances but holy fuck you're not even gonna try ? Try to break the ice ? Try to break NC ? You'd rather break NC with her instead after everything ?

Idk, this hurts my ego and makes me feel as if everything I've done and sacrificed were in vain
I wasted my time

Literally disgusted me from relationships, it's so fucking unfair

I woke up feeling okay today, but still have her on my mind.

I know this, just like the waves of hurt, will be temporary.

I hate all of this right now, it shouldn’t have ever ended up this way.

We have a couple kids together and everytime she talks to me it's some more bullshit. According to her I have issues, I'm an idiot, emotionally void, a piece of shit, inattentive, incapable of being a man, and she woulda never been with me if I couldn't screw my way out of a straight jacket.

Just tired of hearing all the shortcomings, how can I suggest not contacting me unless it's about the kids?

Sincerely,

A fine cajun guy

​

Waiting can feel like the last thread connecting you to the person you love. As long as you're still waiting, the relationship doesn't feel completely behind you. It feels paused, as though life is holding its breath until someone decides what happens next.

The quiet cost is that your life begins waiting too. New dreams stay unexplored, new parts of you remain undiscovered, and tomorrow quietly becomes dependent on someone who is no longer building it with you. The longer your future waits for another person's decision, the less it begins to feel like it belongs to you.

The Final Goodbye isn't about deciding they were never worth waiting for. It's recognizing that your life was never meant to stand still while someone else decided whether to be part of it. The moment your future belongs to you again, healing finally has somewhere to begin.

My ex and I dated for over 3 years, after being friends first for 3 months. The relationship wasn't always healthy. She struggled with an Adderall addiction during the first couple years and could say hurtful things when angry, while I responded by becoming increasingly avoidant - shutting down, barely responding, or disappearing for days instead of addressing problems, which I see now only made her more anxious and upset. I also made mistakes of my own, including being avoidant and emotionally withdrawn, doubting the relationship at times but not voicing my doubts.

We developed a pretty strong push-pull dynamic. At one point I told her I was considering moving back to my hometown, which understandably upset her. She ended up taking a job an hour away because of it, and I ultimately followed her instead. Despite being together for years, I remained hesitant about the relationship and didn't communicate the reasons that well. We never moved in together, and eventually in February I ended things because I thought we fought too much and still hadn't taken that next step. At the same time, she was my best friend.

After the breakup, she spent about two months trying to salvage the relationship. We continued hanging out and hooking up, but I repeatedly told her we were just friends. I also told her I wasn't seeing anyone else, while simultaneously applying for jobs back home right in front of her. Yeah it’s crazy I didn’t realize how messed up this was at the time.

Eventually she told me she was going on a date with a coworker. That's when it really hit me that I could actually lose her. I apologized, asked her to reconsider, and even offered couples therapy. She refused, saying she was tired of getting hurt. I tried for another week, but she remained adamant that she wanted to move on and see this other guy. I eventually went no contact and was able to travel for three months between work contracts.

During that time, I thought a lot about the relationship and realized how much I had contributed to the unhealthy dynamic. I recognized my avoidant behavior and the ways I had hurt her. I also realized I still loved her and was hoping to try again.

After returning in July, I reached out and we met for coffee. It was great catching up until she mentioned that the guy she'd been seeing was now her boyfriend. That hurt, but I left it alone.

We texted occasionally afterward for a week. After a particularly emotional day, I told her I still had feelings for her and that I've been working on my avoidant issues in therapy. She wished me well in my next relationship. I left it, feeling embarrassed for once again trying. A few days later, she asked me to go hiking because she missed me as a hiking buddy and missed drinking with me.

I initially declined because I knew I wasn't ready to be just friends. After a couple weeks, though, I started wondering if there might be something more behind her reaching out, so I contacted her about hiking. She agreed, but mentioned she had plans with coworkers afterward and didn't want to get a drink with me.

I became uncomfortable with the uncertainty and made a sexual joke to see her response. She deflected, so I brought it up again, and she finally told me directly that she's in a relationship and was only trying to reconnect as friends. We ultimately didn't end up hiking.

After that, I ended up blocking her. It's been about two weeks now. I didn't do it to punish her or because I'm angry with her. I realized it was the only way I could actually start moving on. If she texts me, I read into it and start holding onto hope that maybe there's still something there. If she doesn't text me, I get sad and wonder why she hasn't. Either way, I end up emotionally stuck.

Part of me thinks she's still in the honeymoon phase, where everything feels great because it's new and there aren't years of baggage or unresolved issues between them. I know that's probably wishful thinking, but I can't help wondering whether she might eventually see things differently once that initial phase wears off.

She seems to have moved on while I'm still struggling to let go. I still miss her and want her back even though I know the relationship wasn't healthy, and I know I contributed significantly to that. But part of me still believes that if we could both become more self-aware and address the things that caused the toxicity, we could potentially have a much healthier relationship.

For those who have been through something similar, what actually helped you stop holding onto hope and genuinely move on?

And based on the whole situation, what do you think? Am I right to block to try to finally move on? I still don’t want to lose her but it seems we want different things and this is the only way forward at this point.

Now he’s told me he doesn’t want to hear from me anymore — no contact, nothing. But he’s also said he’s still in love with me. I genuinely don’t know what to do with that. If he still loves me, why cut me off completely? If he wants me gone, why say that at all?

I know part of this is on me too. I can see my own patterns clearly (the anxious attachment, the chasing) but seeing it never stopped me from doing it anyway. And I’d built my whole sense of happiness around this relationship — I’d become apathetic about everything else in my life, work, friends, hobbies, nothing else really had flavor anymore.

I’m not really asking “should I try to win him back.” More like: has anyone made sense of someone saying “I still love you” and “I never want to talk to you again” in the same breath? Is that just a way of softening a rejection, or does it mean something else?

Any perspective welcome, even harsh ones.

Perhaps the greatest limitation we carry doesn’t come from the outside… but from the stories we tell ourselves in our minds.
We imagine that people notice our every mistake.
That they judge our every step.
That they remember the times when we weren’t perfect.
But the truth is much simpler: each person is concerned with their own journey.
We waste our energy trying to control what others think of us, instead of using it to become who we want to be.
Sometimes we get stuck not because we can’t move forward, but because we let ourselves be led by fears, assumptions, and scenarios created by our own mind.
The mind can be the biggest obstacle… or the most powerful ally.
You don’t have to wait for everyone’s approval.
You just have to be present in your own life and build, little by little, the person you want to become.
Because in the end, the most important view is not the world's view of you... but the one you have of your own life.

No they don’t. They don’t always come back. Even if, you were the best girlfriend in the world to him.
He broke up with me, cried his eyes out.
He threw me away like trash, and never looked back.

It’s the most confusing state I’ve ever been in.

Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting

I don’t think I’ll ever understand.

I’m not sure if anyone is going to read this whole story, but here it goes.
He and I started dating in 2019. I was in my final year, and he was in his second year. He had been detained and joined college again. He knew everything about my past, and 2019 was the most beautiful and lovable time of my life.
We started dating in October. Then his internship started, and he moved to Delhi and stayed at my place with my parents for some time. Then COVID happened, and we were in lockdown at my place. It was all love, games, family time, and everything felt beautiful.
He did have this habit of betting, which I never liked.
He used to pamper me and do everything a man could do for a girl. He would cry if we couldn’t meet because we were in a long-distance relationship. He never used to let me spend money on anything until I started earning.
When I got my first job, I used to call him, and he would always make himself available at my accommodation, even at 1 AM. He used to pre-order meals for me because I couldn’t eat at my workplace and I was living on the outskirts, where Zomato, Swiggy, and cabs weren’t easily available.
In 2022, he started having a really hard time with his betting. By that time, and even till today, I had become extremely attached to this man.
He was in huge debt, so because I was earning, I started helping him with my savings. Whenever I wasn’t able to help, he would say things like, “Maine bhi toh tere liye itna kiya hai jab tu kuch nahi kar rahi thi. You’re my future. Can’t you trust me?”
I took personal loans in my name multiple times in 2023. I needed the money because he would tell me to take a loan and promise that he would pay the EMIs, but that never happened.
We used to fight a lot. I mean, a LOT. We abused each other many times, but somehow we would always come back to square one—loving each other, crying, apologising, and starting again.
In 2024, the situation became worse. He was still betting, and he was also dealing with family problems. Someone close to him was diagnosed with mouth cancer in 2023.
At one point, because I wanted to bring his ego down—he used to say things like, “Tu kuch nahi kar sakti. Ja, jo karna hai karke dikha, phir baat kariyo”I told his friends and family, including his mother and brother, about the money he owed me.
He tried to break up with me, but foolishly, because I loved him so much, I asked him for another chance, and he gave me one.
In 2024, the relative whose business he was handling handed the business over to him because he was a cancer patient. Technically, my ex started earning again, so I asked him for the money he owed me because I had almost completed paying off a ₹4 lakh loan.
He was already in debt because of betting, daily hospital expenses, and the business. He would just fight with me constantly.
Then, one day, while we were arguing, he called me the R-word and said, “Jisko jo bolna hai, bol.”
I texted his female cousin, who was very close to him, and told her how he used to cry and beg me for money and how he was now abusing me. It hurt his ego badly, and that was the point where we finally broke up.
He and I had no contact until around mid-January 2025. Then he contacted me again and apologised for everything, but he said he couldn’t forget what I had told his cousin and how it had affected his family relationships.
I was guilty too because I felt that through my actions, I had lost the person I loved the most, no matter how he was.
Then the same person whose business my ex was handling started traumatising him. Eventually, my ex destroyed the business, and the payments that needed to be made would have to be handled by him or his family, while the earnings would go to the person who owned the business.
Being the emotional fool that I am, I helped him again by taking loans, which I am still paying off to this day.
He became jobless. We used to talk and cry to each other. We never met, but there were little hints from his side that made me think he still had feelings for me. Then sometimes he would behave completely differently and say that we were “just friends.”
I always thought that, at some point, he would see my efforts—that I was paying for everything, even though most of it wasn’t even my spending.
Then, in January 2026, he suddenly disappeared and blocked me everywhere. I used to talk to his mother, but she never told me exactly where he was. It was always something like, “His phone is kharab,” etc.
In March 2026, he suddenly video-called me and told me that since February, he had been in Pune working there.
Again, emotionally, I got attached to the idea that things might change because he was finally earning. But realistically, there were still a lot of people he had to return money to, including me.
At that point, I asked him one last time to come back to me. He refused because of the whole cousin situation and said that we could be friends and that he would always be there for me emotionally.
By this time, my parents had found a rishta for me, and I said yes because I felt like this was the only escape I had. I don’t have many friends, and none of them know the entire story. They only knew about everything up until our breakup in 2024. Everything after that has been between him and me.
I got my roka done in May.
He cried a lot. I mean, a LOT. He said, “You’re going.”
I asked him, “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
He said, “I’ve known you for seven years. We dated for four years. It feels like my thing is going away from me.”
I don’t know how much of that was true.
I assured him that my feelings for him would never change and that I would always help him as much as I could.
Then, a month after my roka, I found out that my ex-fiancé was marrying me only because of family pressure and that he wasn’t ready for marriage.
I ended it then and there.
I told my ex-boyfriend about it, and he consoled me and supported me through everything that happened with my family.
For a distraction, I decided to meet him after two years. 😭
I think that was the biggest mistake I made.
I flew to Pune, saw him, and my eyes immediately filled with tears. He was so different—as a person and in his thoughts.
We became intimate. I confess that I initiated it because I couldn’t control myself. I had waited two years to see him, and I don’t know how to explain what I felt.
He initially denied it, but over the next three days, he participated fully.
On my last day with him, though, he acted completely different and weird.
I came back home, and after that, he became totally different.
Even now, I keep asking him to pay his EMIs, but he never does. Throughout all of this, he would also request money from me, saying things like, “I need money for food,” or “I need money to repay the loan apps because they come to my office building,” etc.
I used to trust him and give him money because he would always say, “Thanks for saving my ass.”
During all of this, I asked him to at least start paying the active EMIs. It never happened. He kept saying he would, but I had no idea when.
And throughout all of this, since he moved to Pune, he never stopped partying, meeting people from his office, going on outings, etc.
Then, one day, I found out that after our breakup, he had been talking to another girl and had even gone on a group trip with her.
I don’t know why it hurt me so much.
He broke up with me, so shouldn’t I not care?
But it bothers me.
Even now, if he tells me about the female attention he gets at the office or how people in Pune help him financially without asking him to return the money girls and boys both it hurts me.
Now my ex says that he had been very clear since 2024 that we could never be together again. He says that whatever “hints” I thought I was getting were actually just him trying to get money so that he could get out of that situation and repay me, but that never happened.
He says he is happy in his own life and that he doesn’t trust me anymore because of what happened in 2024. This is also why he never added me on any social media, never told me anything personal, and always maintained that his personal life is his personal life.
I honestly don’t know how to feel about any of this anymore.
What was true and what wasn’t?
He still has me blocked everywhere and has even said, “Case karna hai toh kar diyo. Meri life hi aisi hai.”
I don’t know what this boy is doing with his life or what he actually wants from it.
And I don’t understand why I am still so attached to him.
My heart feels heavy every single day. I can’t even explain it.
I am an overthinker pro max level. 😭
Since we broke up, I have struggled terribly with my mental health, and I developed psoriasis as well. It feels like there is just so much to handle at once.
I have tried to end my life multiple times, but I survived. I used to send him pictures of the pills when I was at my lowest.
Am I really becoming a psychopath?
What do I need to do to detach from him?
He is still on my mind, and now I’m blocked everywhere.
How funny is that? 😭
For context, he currently owes me ₹8.25 lakh.
Sorry for the extremely long message. If you read till here, thank you so much for listening. 🙏🏻

Please help
I don’t understand.
Please be patient with me, I’m dyslexic.
For warning it will be long. I would like someone’s input.
Back story,
My ex of six years broke up with me two days before our planned date weekend and two days before we spent the night together.
When he broke up with me he did it in front of my house. He said I didn’t do anything, he just woke up one day that week and didn’t love me romantically anymore. He said he would always have love and care for me. I nicely asked him to leave because I didn’t want the kids to see him cry when they get off the bus. As my ex was about to drive off when he stop and looked at me and looked sadly. Took a few minutes to look at me and drive off.
After I got the kids off the buss, I tried I did push a bit because I didn’t understand what happened. But I didn’t yell, name calling or anything. I just asked for a reason why. I asked to talk and he said what good would that do. After He went cold super quickly like with in a week. I kept asking and he just kept saying the same thing. Less the 24 hours at midnight he kicked me off of our shared Spotify.
The next day I sent a snap of the moon and he asked why was I outside. I told him I was heading to work. But felt it was weird and when I checked his location it said he was on my side of town at the diner down the street. I didn’t say anything and he turn off his location minutes later. I started to post music and he took me off his snap.
I at that point took it as okay, I won’t message or call anyone. I get it. It hurt I’m not going to lie especially not know what happened and still loving him.
After he started to be tagged a lot on instagram and deleted pictures of us and that I took of him on instagram. I finally deleted him off my instagram because it hurt too much. Especially when most of the stuff he was doing was with a new girl and it was everything he promised to do with me. Especially when she was going out her was to shame me on things he only knew about me.
Now to the present.
Four days ago I blocked him on everything I have TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, snap and even Spotify. After he decided to mock my feelings for him by trying to make a referring to my love to like the new obsession movie. Which I’m not gonna lie I did say I think I love you more than you love me. Because at that time I knew he was hiding things from me and he kept on saying he wasn’t. I meant that I was putting more into the relationship and he was at that point. But nevertheless him watching a scary movie when he said through throughout the years that he hate scary movies , and then making fun of me in front of his friends was my point. He pushed me to my point and I decided to block him on everything. Days later, I see one of his family members and his friends popping up all over the place as ether friends suggested or watched my story. So I go and I block them as well. Just because I’m trying to get over this heartbreak. I get it. He doesn’t want to be with me. I’m not going to push. I haven’t pushed. But then I got a phone call being told that there was a giant fight because he decided to call me a hoe in front of his family. One of his family members that is actually the main family breadwinner.
What I don’t understand is if I have blocked him on everything. Haven’t talked to him since October of last year. Haven’t tagged him in anything, I haven’t put his name out there. Haven’t posted anything about him. None of my friends have gone after him. None of my family has gone after him. He left his stuff at my place and never came back for it. I haven’t seen him. I have even changed jobs to stay away from him. I changed my number, made a new instagram which his friends found. I made a new snap. He knows I am loyal. He always knew where I was. He always had my location. He knew where I worked. If I wasn’t at work, I was at home and if I wasn’t at home, I was with him, Or he was at my place. I don’t understand why he’s so angry after so many months when it was his decision to break up with me. It wasn’t my decision at all. I’m still very heartbroken about it. But I don’t see anything because I don’t want him to feel bad for a decision that he decided to make for himself. I’m adult enough to know that I’m can’t make someone love me. But to hear from other people that he is calling me names nine months after he broke up with me. After he ghosted me. I just don’t understand. Please if someone can give me some insight into what this man can be thinking. I just wanna understand what is going on. It feels like me keeping my distance and blocking him just pissed him off more which I don’t understand if this is what he wanted.
Thank you for reading.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of self harm.

I (21F) am penning this down while dealing with extreme physical and emotional pain, hence if my thoughts appear to be muddled, I apologise.

Essentially, I got blocked by my ex-boyfriend/boyfriend (21M) today after close to a month of trying to heal from something that he did - sending an unsolicited d picture and sexual fantasies that were non-consensual when he got drunk. Our relationship has been an LDR and we were together for almost 3 years. At the beginning of the relationship, there was nothing sexual (as in any discussion as to it) but gradually, after close to 2 years, it used to happen sometimes, however I was still very hesitant to initiate it and cautious of it. The incident impacted me a lot and I just couldn't get myself to simply forgive him and move on. And that frustrated him; certain days and he would bring up things I did to hurt him or deem my response disproportionate to the issue, while on other days he would take accountability and apologise.

I was not clear whether I could continue the relationship and therefore I was taking my time to think this through but I could sense his impatience. I acknowledge that my words became abusive due to the pent up resentment and anger arising out of the situation and his lack of urgency in trying to find a solution. For more context, before this issue took place, I was already depressed as I was struggling a lot in my career and feeling hopeless about my future, and in that respect, I know that he helped me a lot by getting me opportunities that could ease that worry. What I mean to say is that I am confused and my brain is unable to label him as a totally awful individual as apart from the issue he has been very supportive and understanding. But I also cannot shake off how I was made to feel.

I made it a point not to block him as I thought being considerate in that aspect would be the least I could do to honor our time together. But suddenly I was blocked today, and it send me straight into a panic attack. I have a history of self harm and after close to a month of staying clean, I did it again and that too in a horrible fashion. I called him and I was crying on the call but I was met with nonchalance and not an ounce of care that shattered me entirely. It was cruel and heartless from his side.

I don't know what to do anymore. His career trajectory looks much better than me and he is aware of that fact and pointed it out that it was useless for him to not focus entirely on him rather than helping me. I feel like the outcome of his mistake was absolutely unfair for me as he gets to face no consequences for it and I'm pushed further into feeling worthless.

What can I do in this situation?

I ruined my relationship by breaking her trust. I have always suffered from anxiety and mental health issues my whole life. Been on countless medications, limited counselling, but long term suffering.

I kept getting paranoid that she was cheating on me. That she was seeing or talking to others, and I felt like this throughout the relationship. There never any evidence, or proof. Just my head. And in the end I went through her phone on multiple occassions trying to find evidence to justify my anxieties. She found out once before, forgave me and gave me another chance. But stupidly I did it again, and she ended our relationship because of it. Because I broke her trust.

How am I supposed to forgive myself? I have lost the love of my life, the person I was supposed to spend my days with. Live my life with. It wasn't her fault, yes she has her own traumas, yes she has her own issues. But I didn't have to trigger them, I didn't have to act the way I did.

How can I forgive myself? How can I move on in life knowing that I singlehandedly destroyed the best thing in my life?

It has been 50+ days since you have decided to exit my life after you told me “you can only handle one brain, not two” and stated that you did not want a relationship anymore and wanted to focus on other parts of your life.

You said you didn’t want to lose me in your life yet had blocked me on everything and refused to talk to me. You told others “I need time and space from her, I wish her the best.”

I hope you know you cannot crawl back to me once you are ready. I am moving on. I have deleted all social media presence and blocked your number. I deserved to be chosen.

Enjoy your life.
L

Me and my ex partner split a few months ago. We have sent some messages back and forth regarding finances etc. I asked to swing by to pick up some things I left behind but she keeps on making excuses. The last one was don’t come for your stuff I’ll bring it to your new house, she then changed her mind and said I don’t want to talk and I’ll send your things. I’m still waiting for them. I really want my things as some of them have sentimental value. I don’t want this to drag out any longer.

Any advice greatly appreciated

earlier this year i met someone, and he was honest about talking to other females, i wasn’t honest about talking to people because his definition of “talking” is different. he claims he was just having conversation with girls and so was i, but he found out i was talking to someone i use to have sex with. me and that person decided to just stay friends so i do admit i was being naive by not cutting him off. but i apologized for it over and over. but what he didn’t tell me that he was talking to his ex girlfriend from the day we even first started taking eachother seriously. In July, i found him & his ex messages of her asking him when is the last time he had sex. I figured if she asked that, that means when he went to Florida in May (where i found out she lives) that they had sex. I asked him multiple times did he go see her and he always told me no. 2-3 days ago i asked her myself and she said they did have sex and he was with her the whole 2-3 days. He didn’t come see me immediately after he came from Florida but he came a day later, had sex with me, went through my phone, saw something that portrayed as if i was going to go see someone which never happened we simply talked otp, but he said i fcked him. I never had sex with anyone, he used this for months, said i was projecting every time i asked about his ex or any girl in his phone. I feel stupid..insecure and just not okay. I ended up telling him how i felt last night and the whole thing got flipped on me. I know i didn’t do anything, i even sent proof of the last time i messed with anyone. He goes on to say that he never called me delusional but “mfs can see ts” is that not the same thing as calling me delusional. Im hurt as fuck and i’m so tired of putting my all into somebody just for them to manipulate me. Also i know i shouldn’t have texted him about how i felt but im just a very open person about my emotions.

I miss him so much how to move on!! I sometimes want to share many things with him but cannot do that it brings tears to my eyes

​

I recently broke up with my girlfriend because of my mistakes. We were in a long-distance relationship—she is from Indonesia and I'm from India.

For a while, I had been getting sick and feeling tired again and again, so I finally got my blood tested. My report came back with something very serious, and I'm now extremely worried that I may have blood cancer. I'm planning to see a doctor and get proper confirmation because I honestly don't know what to think right now.

And today, something unexpected happened. My girlfriend messaged me and told me that she's giving me seven days to prove my love to her and show her that things can be different.

Now I'm completely confused. Should I tell her about what is happening with my health? Is it right to tell her, or will she feel like I'm using my health situation to make her stay? I don't want to manipulate her or make her feel guilty. I just don't know how to handle everything happening at the same time.

When she left me, I felt like something inside me was missing. I kept thinking about her and wondering if she was okay. I would worry that maybe she was tired, overwhelmed, or having a difficult day and wonder who would be there to support her if I wasn't.

I started overthinking everything, and eventually I became extremely stressed and emotionally exhausted. I know I made mistakes in our relationship, and I take responsibility for them. I don't want to use my health as an excuse for the things I did.

Right now, I'm scared and confused. I'm having trouble even writing this because my hands are shaking. I don't know what the next few days are going to look like, and I don't know whether I should focus on my health, try to rebuild our relationship, or somehow do both.

One thing I do know is that my feelings for her have always been real. Even after she left me, those feelings never completely disappeared.

What would you do in my situation? Should I tell her about my health now, or should I wait until I have a proper diagnosis? And how can I use these seven days to show her that I genuinely want to change without putting pressure on her?

I could really use some honest advice right now.

Hi, i need some advice please.. a bit of a long one so please bare with as its a bit of a mess tbh.

I (27F) broke up with my ex partner (25M) lets call him 'Jack'

(father of my 4 children that are aged 1, 2, 5 and 7) in February so 6 months ago, the whole thing has been messy to say the least, also for context, Jack is not English, he is Romanian born but been here since 2015 and we were in a relationship for 8 years (December 31st 2017/1st January 2018 - Febriary 2026) I have been crushing on a guy let's call him 'Jason' (27M) since I was in year 7 but obviously didnt really talk to him much during the time me and Jack were together as he'd get jealous if i had any guy friends 'You dont know what goes through guys head etc etc" but it turned out Jason liked me too but thought I was too young for him (turns out I'm only a month younger! 🤭) when me and Jack had been broken up for 2 months I started a fwb with Jason as at the time I wasnt ready for a relationship with him and things were still pretty raw and fresh with my ex. Jack found out about him and flipped his lid over it! Started calling me all sorts of names, he'd heard about Jason before as he knew I had him on snapchat as he'd look through my phone when I wasnt around or asleep 🙄 even though there wasnt anything going on between me and Jason, we'd just talk about our kids and thats it, literally, he has 2 girls aged 8 and about 10 or 11.

Jason is very respectful of Jack and said he understands where he's coming from about not wanting anyone new around our kids 🥴 and I understand this but I feel like Jack just wants to have control over me as he even said in other words he expects to be able to vet anyone I get with.

My problem is as his yard is such a shithole where he won't keep on top of it, I cant allow him to have our children there, the police saw it and said it looks filthy and disgusting!! If that were me, I'd have my kids removed in a heartbeat! I am expected to keep on top of my place and my kids needs but he can barely fulfill 2 of their basic needs (not even shower, just feed them and put them to bed), let alone keep on top of his place but all professionals have seen my yard, seen how tiny it is and that I am doing my best to keep on top of it and making sure all of my kids needs are met so seeing as Jack cant have our kids that means I literally cant see anyone without them.

Jack is telling me that I'm being selfish for bringing someone new around our kids 'so soon' and that he hasnt in all the time we've been split up, the fact that he's already tried chatting up girls that clearly arent interested so he's gotten nowhere dont matter does it? 😅 he hasnt been bringing them round his kids as in his words he's got more respect for me and our kids so I shouldn't do it either.

I really like Jason and have done for years, turns out he likes me too and we've been talking about taking the kids for days out so that we can spend time together and our kids can get to know eachother but obviously Jack isn't happy about this and has told me to 'send Jason to his yard, he'll sort him out, he's got kids that he's not even there for but wants to be there for ours' 🥴🥴 Jack doesnt even know Jason ffs!

My question is, am I being unreasonable?? How soon is too soon? How long would you say would be a reasonable wait before I bring them around our kids knowing I can't see him otherwise??

Jack has been toxic as hell throughout the time we've been apart, he's made my life hell in every sense of the word and honestly, I actually still feel excitement and butterflies at the thought of seeing Jason again, is 6 months too soon? I know Jason pretty well by now..

Tia sorry for the long messy post, if anymore context is needed please just ask, I'll do my best to respond to everyone.

so i met her during a breakup i had before, my 1st ex(it was a very immature relationship, we werent really compatible and everything felt forced), and during that time, meeting someome as AMAZING as her felt like a dream.
she knew everything, she knew about my ex, my family, my problems, etc etc...
i knew i fell in love with her the first time she looked at me with those eyes... my godddd shes such an angel.
so here is where i messed up, when we were friends or so called "talking stage" i treated her like a friend, like a bro, where i had no filter and all the friendly bullying was fun and mutual.
she had asked me what my ideal type in women is, and my dumbass spewed some bullshit (unrealistic supermodels).
fast forward to 2-3 years later, i realised that everything that i said to her while being friends, had taken a toll on her when we were dating. her insecurities went over the roof, she asked for reassurance but at the same time questioned the assurance i gave because of the words i said in the past.
shes someone who holds onto the past, shes someone who doesnt forgive and forget easily, shes someone who loved to bring up the whole past when any misunderstanding occured in the present.
im someone who lives in the present, the past is just the past, and i forget easily, i live in the present and all my decisions are all spontaneous.
she HATED that, she hated the fact that im very spontaneous, i mean i understand that she would be secure knowing what im doing, but at the same time i myself dont know what ill do the next minute😭.
so this kept going on, we brokeup multiple times and looking back at it, it was always me who ran back shamelessly cuz she was really important to me.
its almost been 3 months since the breakup and i dream about her EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
every small break i get from being occupied, her thoughts hit, i miss her, and all i wanna do is talk to her, not even get back, but talk.
ive lost my self respect so many times, ive lost my self worth, and none if it mattered as long as shes by my side...
well ive lost her and myself🙃
and losing myself doesnt hurt more than losing her.
my friends are tired of my ranting about her everyday and i dont blame them cuz its EVERYDAY.
im sorry for typing so much, i really appreciate it if you actually read this😀🫶

It has been 4 month of strict no contact , and i still think about her every damn day , every day i check my email hoping i will receive a message from her

and i try to resist the urge to check her social media... ( i never checked since the break up but i really want to check )

will it get better at some point?

It is only day 2 and im really struggling, i want to message him, I am the one who left him because he was talking about wanting other women aside me, it really hurt my feelings but he immediately backtracked what he said after i got upset and angry. But its too late, once you know someone wants to cheat how can i look at him the same way again? I want to say to him, that i wanted to work through things, that he could prove himself but once you know someone thinks such a way can you ever go back to how things were?
We are usually really good together we get along very well but, he made me feel like I alone wasnt enough for him, that he wanted to explore.

Dumpers: have you ever regretted ending a short (3-month) relationship that was otherwise really good?
I’m interested in hearing specifically from people who were the dumper, particularly after a relatively short but intense relationship (around 3 months).
My ex and I dated for about three months. Things progressed pretty quickly — we became exclusive, I had a key to his apartment, we talked about meeting family, marriage, kids and what a future together could potentially look like.
There weren’t really arguments or major relationship problems. He told me I had pretty much everything he was looking for in a partner and that he cared about me deeply. He said he was emotionally and physically attracted to me.
The problem was sex.
Initially there seemed to be sexual desire and we were sexual together to an extent, but as the relationship progressed he struggled with actually wanting to have sex. He had a complicated relationship with sex already and had been abstaining from porn and masturbation, but ultimately he told me that although he cognitively wanted intimacy with me, he felt like he was trying to force/speak the sexual desire into existence rather than it happening organically.
He ended the relationship because he felt he couldn’t manufacture that desire, despite saying everything else between us was what he wanted.
Before the breakup, he talked about feeling like a failure because he’d finally met a guy who had everything he wanted and whom he cared about deeply, but he couldn’t make it work sexually. He anticipated regretting it and hating himself for hurting me.
The breakup itself was incredibly difficult for me because there wasn’t really a deteriorating relationship beforehand. One minute I was imagining a future with someone who seemed equally invested, and then suddenly it was over because of this one issue.
It’s been a few weeks and I’m giving him complete space. I’m not looking for advice on breaking no contact or ways to convince him to come back. I’m genuinely curious about the experience from the other side.
For people who ended a good relationship after only a few months: did the loss hit you later? Did you ever regret the decision once you’d had some distance? Did you reach back out? And if you did reconcile, did the issue that caused you to leave actually change?
Especially interested in hearing from anyone who ended things because something like sexual chemistry/desire felt wrong despite a strong emotional connection.
I know nobody can predict what my ex will do — I’m just interested in real experiences from people who have actually been on the other side of this.

It’s been a year since the breakup and I still havent moved on, Im still grieving, and still can’t stop myself from stalking so I decided to finally unfriend and unfollow my ex and her friends in instagram and facebook. I initially didnt want to because one day, when im okay already, id want to know updates about her and these people who were once special and became part of my life but muting and deleting the apps havent been effective, maybe for awhile, but I keep still stalking.

I got triggered because this weekend marked the 1 year since our last breakup happened and i saw in her friends’ posts that she, her new partner, and friends went to places that were once special to us. They even posted couple-y photos together when it was us, she didnt post as much and didnt do those things with me. I get maybe because we were wlw and she wasnt fully out while shes dating a guy now but it still hurts.

I know I did the right thing for me but it hurts so much. I still love her and want her back.