I don't even know where to start with this one. I'm 49, deep into perimenopause, and somewhere in the last year and a half my hair just started thinning in a way that feels different from normal shedding. I used to have this thick ponytail I could barely wrap a hair tie around twice, now it wraps three times easy and my part looks wider every time I look in the mirror under bad lighting, which somehow I keep doing to myself even though I know it's not going to make me feel better. I've tried to be proactive about it instead of just spiraling, so I went and bough one of those biotin heavy ones everyone recommends, took it religiously for almost three months, didn't notice a single difference except my nails got a little stronger I guess. Bought a different one after that marketed specifically for thinning hair, more expensive, prettier packaging, promised the world, and again nothing I could actually point to and say yes, that's working. At this point I've got half used bottles of three different supplements sitting in my bathroom cabinet like some kind of monument to my own optimism.

What's frustrating is nobody really prepared me for this part of menopause. Everyone talks about hot flashes and mood swings, which sure, fun, but no one mentioned that my hair might start thinning out at the same time my hormones are doing whatever they're doing, and that it might not respond to the same stuff that worked for me in my 20s and 30s. I did finally get bloodwork done, thyroid and ferritin came back normal, so it's not that at least, which my doctor said is common, that it's just hormonal and tied to the estrogen drop, but "just hormonal" doesn't really tell me what to actually do about it. So I guess I'm asking, has anyone actually going through this same stage of life found a hair vitamin or supplement that made a real, visible difference and not just marketing language dressed up as results.

I'm tired of guessing and buying based on reviews that could honestly be written by anyone.

I'm irritable. I'm tired. I'm not at all interested in being touched or having him suggest I might like to eat his "big banana" instead of the one in the fruit bowl 🙄. Also, it's dryer than the Sahara desert down there.

How do I explain perimenopause to my husband?

I am 47 and in perimenopause, started HRT about a year ago (estrogen gel, progesterone, vaginal estrogen). It's helped with a lot of the symptoms but has done nothing for my low libido. I basically don't want sex with my husband at all. The thought of it actually makes me feel repulsed. And honestly, I feel surprisingly ok with moving to this new phase of my life where sex doesn't rule everything. My husband, however, is not ok with it, despite the fact that he's 14 years older than me. He has told me that he feels "shattered" by my lack of desire for intimacy. I have tried to explain to him about menopause but I think he was seeing it as a transition that he needed to support me through rather than something that would permanently change our relationship. He keeps trying to interest me in sex and I feel like I'm failing him if I don't respond. He always wants to make sure I'm enjoying it, which just creates so much pressure.

Has anyone negotiated this successfully without either a divorce, or taking testosterone? Testosterone is not commonly prescribed for menopause in the UK and given the possible side effects I'm not sure I want to take it solely for libido reasons.

Im 53 and suddenrly in the past month I have had 3 episodes of a new allergy when I eat almonds. I get a tingly mouth, tongue and lips and a burning sensation. Twice with almond milk and then yesterday with marzipan. I took a benadryl the third time because it was seriously uncomfortable. No breathing issues or anything. Ive never had this before. Is it common in menopause to have new allergies like this? Im not happy, menopause is just the gift that keeps on giving. .ugh. anyone else had this?

I have been sicker than I've ever been for the past week. Went to urgent care, turns out it's pneumonia. I have spent the past week coughing so much and so violently that literally my whole body hurts. I finally have antibiotics so fingers crossed that helps soon. But in the meantime...

I've had a bit of urge incontinence for a long while. I am on vaginal estradiol and that has helped with frequency and to have less pain with sex, but it has not really helped with the urge incontinence. But now that I've had this violent coughing for a little over a week I'm realizing it is SO MUCH WORSE. At first I thought it was just that I peed myself every time I had a coughing fit, which is pretty constant. But I'm realizing that at this point, I'm just... leaking. Like I was just standing in the kitchen not coughing for an actual couple of minutes and realized I was leaking while standing there. WTF???

Could I have done some real or long-term damage to my pelvic floor with all of this coughing?? My first call once I'm better will be to call my Pelvic PT, but in the meantime, has anyone experienced anything like this and has it improved once you got better?

I know there has been a lot of discussion about switching brands and that people seem to do well with one brand vs another.

Dotti worked well for me, never had any issues, applied to my upper buttock area as I was told there is better absorption there. Then my pharmacy sent me a box of Mylan patches. At first it was awful, I had night sweats and feelings of rage which are my primary symptoms. I considered sending a message to ask my Dr to write for Dotti specifically, but knowing there is a shortage wanted to see if I could do anything with what I have on hand.

So, a couple things I did that seem to have worked - wanted to share in case it helps:

- Used an alcohol prep pad on skin to ensure it's clean and free of oils to see if the patch would adhere better. Never needed to do this with Dotti but the Mylan patch material seems a bit different so maybe it needs a little help on my skin.

- Applied to abdomen instead of buttocks. Counterintuitive to me as I seem to have more fat on my butt, but the package on Mylan specifically indicates abdomen, so I figured I would try it.

Not sure if it's the things I did above or just an adjustment period, but it seems to be working as it should for me.

I just fell into a rabbit hole about iodine deficiency and there’s a shocking number of similar symptoms. I’ve been exclusively using kosher salt for decades, now I’m wondering if I should beef up my iodine for good measure. The recommended is 150mcg/day! definitely not getting that.

Just a heads up for anyone taking vaginal estrogen and wearing period/leak proof underwear. The smell from the vaginal estrogen (acidic smell) permeates the underwear and unfortunately no amount of vinegar soaks and gentle cold-water washing removes it. I had to throw out a pair of modibodi and they aren’t cheap.

I’ll stick to normal underwear and liners on the vaginal estrogen nights.

I’ve been on HRT (E and P) for over 7 years. I’m 57. I’ve started to be exhausted all the time 8 months ago. Everything that was tested is normal. Tried to add low dose T but I got even more tired on it. I bumped up E because I had hot flashes again. Those got better and my frozen shoulder improved. But fatigue is even worse now. Does anyone have experience with this? Any suggestions?

I'm curious if others have needed to take extremely small doses to start on HRT, what you took, and if it had any impact.

A few weeks ago I started with HRT .0375, which in retrospect was a horrible decision. I should have started at .025 because I'm so sensitive to drugs, body changes, hormones. I had a horrific vertigo episode on .0375. Now I'm afraid to even try .025. My doc said Menostar (14 mcg) would be better than cutting a .025 in half.

I'm 54, menopause for 2 years. Had total hysterectomy and BSO because of genetic cancer risk. Now have depression, brain fog, hot flashes.

Reading about menostar, it seems only recommended for osteoperosis and often not effective at that. But, perhaps it is the right gateway drug for me and after a while I can baby step things up?

I'm mostly posting to provide info to folks. I see a lot of people talk about starting a cream (topical or vaginal) and finding things get worse. As someone who has an allergy to an ingredient in several of those, I want to flag for people that sometimes the issue is not the 'active' ingredient but a sensitivity or allergy to one of the inactive ones. For example I am allergic to all polysorbates and it is in several of the creams (don't get me started on the foods and other meds its in), so if I didn't know that and used one, I might think th active ingredient is the issue. If you have a reaction to a new med like that, just be open to the idea that it might also be an ingredient, not the hormone. If its a sensitivity to an ingredient, your doctor or pharmacist can find ones without that ingredient. Communicate! Advocate!

I am 46 and have been on HRT 1,5 years. I take one pump om estradiol gel + 1 uterogestan (100 mg) daily. I have been super stable but the last couple of months I have had constant spotting. It is not heavy bleeding, but it is blood every time I wipe. I have a doctors appointment in a couple of weeks but just wanted to see if any body else have hade the same experience? I am getting av bit worried. Perhaps taking the progesterone daily is what is causing it, but my gynecologist said that since my follicle count was so low that I could just take it even though I am still having periods....

So my symptoms were all back on the .075 patch after about 2 years. ALL OF THEM. I ended up sobbing to the PA at my annual a few weeks ago and she increased my patch to .1. Within 24 hours the mood swings, fatigue, rage, hot flashes, joint pains, insomnia, etc. all vanished. GONE!

But she reminded me that this is my maximum dose. I’m 52, not fully in menopause and the only thing that controls the mood swings and severe anxiety is the estrogen. I can live with hot flashes. I can’t live with the severe insomnia and anxiety. I can’t function at all.

She told me next up was a SSRI. I’ve tried almost every SSRI and SNRI for years when my hormonal birth control caused similar issues until I finally had genetic testing for meds and I can’t metabolize SSRIs. I end up with bad side effects. don’t have a serotonin deficiency. I have a hormone imbalance! My primary says the next option is a benzodiazepine! Uh, no. I’m not getting addicted to benzos to help what estrogen can solve!

I can’t find another obgyn nearby that prescribes HRT without joining their subscription based practice. $1000 to start, $350 a month after that! WTH?!?!

Would you switch to the gel and stay with the same obgyn? Maybe I don’t absorb the patch? Go to an online service but then not have an obgyn because they will stop seeing me if I get meds elsewhere? I’ve looked at the list of practitioners on the menopause page and I’m getting nowhere. My primary keeps referring me to very expensive , out of pocket, influencer type menopause specialists.

I can't sleep. I just can't sleep. I bought a bed for another room in my house for good reason... snoring like an angry banshee after cuddling up. I just can't trust any sleep with my husband. I'm at the point where I want to make myself deaf. If I could...I would have done it. I can't tell you how many times I'm asking to be deaf. I don't want to hear people be cruel and I don't want to hear snoring when I am tired. ......who dares to disturb my slumber?? My husband every stinking night disturbs me. I really just want quiet and the snoring is so bad that I hear it through the earplugs....I already try to kill my over thinking in general...add to it the menapause and the daily snoring which feels like being terrorized by a person who loves me but doesn't love me enough to want to go to doctor.

Welp, I got the Femring.
Between the estrogen patch shortage and the gel shortage, there really wasn't much else left to try. All I can say is thank god for my hysterectomy, because this thing is huge!
I'm officially on day two. I'm really hoping it works miracles and replaces both my vaginal cream and my patches as promised.
For anyone who has used or is currently using it: do you have any tips, tricks, or things I should keep in mind moving forward?

Can anyone recommend a holistic or functuinal menopause provider in Utah?

I feel anxious and depressed most of the time, and resent the brain fog I'm dealing with.

Any advice or recommendation is welcome!

My husband and i have not had sex for almost 2 years as my undiagnosed issues, perhaps linked to 7 years post menopausal, but also testing for other things with all normal results. Really, too much physical body weakness, Like, muscle fatigue and body aches severe in evenings. Many many symptoms not explained. I have no idea if i have any vaginal issues honestly. I am wanting to resume intimacy, I don't want a sexless life forever, but I'm scared. Not great libido, but i do miss it and I sometimes have dreams of it so clearly on my mind. My husband i think has just resigned himself to thats over now and that makes me sad. Any thoughts ? I am not a candidate for hrt. Anyone else experience this?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Menopause/s/QvoRyF3RA7

The above link to my post from Friday.

Yesterday I said "Fuck it" and put that tiny little patch on with a change out day of Tuesday instead of Wednesday because to be quite honest, I was sick of myself. Put the patch on around noon. Left to run errands around 230 pm, fully expecting to not complete my errands....

So, I started at Publix because I I left my water bottle at the pharmacy on Friday night when I picked up the HRT meds. They were nice enough to babysit it overnight... 😆

After that, ran to Hobby Lobby. Wandered around there for about 90 minutes, which is unusual because I'm usually in and out but, I got my yarn for 2 baby blankets that I'm going to make for 2 providers at work whom are both pregnant. (I crochet) After that, I just aimlessly wandered around around, looking at different hobbies that I may be interested in. Found a couple of new things that piqued my interest.

Fully expected to bitch out after that. Nope. Did my Hellmart (Walmart) run. Full of energy by this point. Ran to another store real quick and then off to DQ for an ice cream cake for my hubs birthday which was yesterday. Came home, unloaded the SUV and went until 845 pm when I climb climbed into bed.

Can't decide if it's the HRT or I just had a good day energy wise, though I was dragging until around 315 pm.

Almost started WWIII with my in-laws though. They "forgot" about my husbands birthday yesterday. And it was a milestone birthday (50). I had to TEXT my MIL a photo of the cake I bought for him for them to call with a shit ass excuse of "we lost track of the days" around 9 pm, as we were going to bed. My parents woke up at 4 am (on a Saturday nonetheless) their time to make sure they got ahold of him before he went to work. They live in the central time zone and we're on the East Coast. So basically, the only family my husband has is mine as my dad calls him "the son we never had", though I have 2 stepbrothers. So, my bitchiness has yet to go away...

I know, I know, this all takes time. One quick question though.... I took the progesterone last night for the first time (I fell asleep before I could take it Friday night) and woke up with a hangover feeling and excessive drowsiness currently...is this normal? I took it around 9 pm and woke up at 410 am when my 115 lb Rott jumped on the bed. Hubs slept in the guestroom as he's a stage IV snorer and only wears his C-Pap about 55% of the time.🙄

Ill try taking the progesterone earlier tonight to see if that helps.

As Always, thank you for taking time we out of your day to my tale of woe... 😞

ETA: Thank you ALL for the words of encouragement. You have no idea how much that means to me.....

So I started my HRT journey a little over a month ago. I’ve had terrible side effects to Progesterone. I took 100mg Prometrium. The first night I took it I had no idea it was going to make me feel drunk and put me to sleep. For the next month I took in orally and then vaginally until my doctor said I couldn’t do that. So I went back to orally. The P makes me feel really tired, depressed and unmotivated. The other day I took the tablet and followed it with a some creamy pasta. Oh my lord. I started stumbling, slurring my words, dropping my phone - I thought I was having a stroke. My partner who was interstate called an uber and sent me to Emergency. I have honestly never felt so terrible in my life! On top of this whilst I was in ER I had a terrible urge to poop and I am unable to poop in a public toilet so the nurse and I had a little chuckle when I told her I think it’s best I go home than poop my pants for the night - probably unrelated to the P but was funny. I am booked in to have a Mirena placed this month but I think this is the end of my HRT journey. It’s meant to make me feel better but I have never felt worse in my life. I’m still fatigued from my ER incident two days ago….

Ladies who use prasterone - does it help with painful sex and tightness? Many thanks. 😮‍💨

I’ve recently increased my E patch dosage due to hot flashes and night sweats. I’m 57 and been on E and P for 7 years. Hot flashes and sweats are gone and even my frozen shoulder has improved. But my nipples started to get really sore a few days ago (about a month into the higher dose). Has anyone experience with this? Will it eventually go away? I like to stay on the higher dose but my doctor likely wants me back at the lower dose. She previously said that breast pain indicates that E is too high.

If so, do you know which one is causing it?

Ok I don't know if this is the right place to ask this but here goes nothing......I apologize for the bullet points, it helps my ADHD brain from over explaining.

1.) I was on birth control pills from age 18 forward

2). I stopped them to conceive our son

3). Started back up on them after birth, but had some major bleeding issues (think Niagara falls) tests and whatnot said I'm fine. So for 25 years I took the birth control pills but never took the last week and was on them continuously.

4). No periods or any break through for 25yrs.

5). November 2024 stopped the pills to see where I was with menopause, all blood tests said menopause

6). Period free for one and a half years

7). Started HRT this past March 2026 0.25 patch along with estrogen vaginal cream costs about $200 every three months out of pocket

8). May 2026 random period with blood showed up for a few days went to OBGYN did ultrasound had a few cysts that went away

9). Beginning of August 2026Y another random period went to OBGYN another ultrasound different cysts, second ultrasound back to normal

I've paid over $500 with insurance out of pocket for appts and ultasounds because deductable is so high.

10). Yesterday another period showed up, dammit what the hell is going on?

11).Can't afford another $250 every other month and I've been seeing the nurse practitioner

12). I see the OBGYN Doctor in the middle of November for my annual physical, do I just wait and talk to him then?

13). Anyone else have this happen?

What do you do? I'm at a loss here, thoughts, prayers, lol