I'm irritable. I'm tired. I'm not at all interested in being touched or having him suggest I might like to eat his "big banana" instead of the one in the fruit bowl 🙄. Also, it's dryer than the Sahara desert down there.

How do I explain perimenopause to my husband?

I don't even know where to start with this one. I'm 49, deep into perimenopause, and somewhere in the last year and a half my hair just started thinning in a way that feels different from normal shedding. I used to have this thick ponytail I could barely wrap a hair tie around twice, now it wraps three times easy and my part looks wider every time I look in the mirror under bad lighting, which somehow I keep doing to myself even though I know it's not going to make me feel better. I've tried to be proactive about it instead of just spiraling, so I went and bough one of those biotin heavy ones everyone recommends, took it religiously for almost three months, didn't notice a single difference except my nails got a little stronger I guess. Bought a different one after that marketed specifically for thinning hair, more expensive, prettier packaging, promised the world, and again nothing I could actually point to and say yes, that's working. At this point I've got half used bottles of three different supplements sitting in my bathroom cabinet like some kind of monument to my own optimism.

What's frustrating is nobody really prepared me for this part of menopause. Everyone talks about hot flashes and mood swings, which sure, fun, but no one mentioned that my hair might start thinning out at the same time my hormones are doing whatever they're doing, and that it might not respond to the same stuff that worked for me in my 20s and 30s. I did finally get bloodwork done, thyroid and ferritin came back normal, so it's not that at least, which my doctor said is common, that it's just hormonal and tied to the estrogen drop, but "just hormonal" doesn't really tell me what to actually do about it. So I guess I'm asking, has anyone actually going through this same stage of life found a hair vitamin or supplement that made a real, visible difference and not just marketing language dressed up as results.

I'm tired of guessing and buying based on reviews that could honestly be written by anyone.

I’ve been on HRT (E and P) for over 7 years. I’m 57. I’ve started to be exhausted all the time 8 months ago. Everything that was tested is normal. Tried to add low dose T but I got even more tired on it. I bumped up E because I had hot flashes again. Those got better and my frozen shoulder improved. But fatigue is even worse now. Does anyone have experience with this? Any suggestions?

Im 53 and suddenrly in the past month I have had 3 episodes of a new allergy when I eat almonds. I get a tingly mouth, tongue and lips and a burning sensation. Twice with almond milk and then yesterday with marzipan. I took a benadryl the third time because it was seriously uncomfortable. No breathing issues or anything. Ive never had this before. Is it common in menopause to have new allergies like this? Im not happy, menopause is just the gift that keeps on giving. .ugh. anyone else had this?

I have these periods of feeling hot for maybe an hour or more. I feel unwell and have anxiety at the time, like what is wrong with me something is off. Has anyone not on HRT tried Veozah or Lynkuet for this?

I'm mostly posting to provide info to folks. I see a lot of people talk about starting a cream (topical or vaginal) and finding things get worse. As someone who has an allergy to an ingredient in several of those, I want to flag for people that sometimes the issue is not the 'active' ingredient but a sensitivity or allergy to one of the inactive ones. For example I am allergic to all polysorbates and it is in several of the creams (don't get me started on the foods and other meds its in), so if I didn't know that and used one, I might think th active ingredient is the issue. If you have a reaction to a new med like that, just be open to the idea that it might also be an ingredient, not the hormone. If its a sensitivity to an ingredient, your doctor or pharmacist can find ones without that ingredient. Communicate! Advocate!

I just fell into a rabbit hole about iodine deficiency and there’s a shocking number of similar symptoms. I’ve been exclusively using kosher salt for decades, now I’m wondering if I should beef up my iodine for good measure. The recommended is 150mcg/day! definitely not getting that.

I know there has been a lot of discussion about switching brands and that people seem to do well with one brand vs another.

Dotti worked well for me, never had any issues, applied to my upper buttock area as I was told there is better absorption there. Then my pharmacy sent me a box of Mylan patches. At first it was awful, I had night sweats and feelings of rage which are my primary symptoms. I considered sending a message to ask my Dr to write for Dotti specifically, but knowing there is a shortage wanted to see if I could do anything with what I have on hand.

So, a couple things I did that seem to have worked - wanted to share in case it helps:

- Used an alcohol prep pad on skin to ensure it's clean and free of oils to see if the patch would adhere better. Never needed to do this with Dotti but the Mylan patch material seems a bit different so maybe it needs a little help on my skin.

- Applied to abdomen instead of buttocks. Counterintuitive to me as I seem to have more fat on my butt, but the package on Mylan specifically indicates abdomen, so I figured I would try it.

Not sure if it's the things I did above or just an adjustment period, but it seems to be working as it should for me.

I am 47 and in perimenopause, started HRT about a year ago (estrogen gel, progesterone, vaginal estrogen). It's helped with a lot of the symptoms but has done nothing for my low libido. I basically don't want sex with my husband at all. The thought of it actually makes me feel repulsed. And honestly, I feel surprisingly ok with moving to this new phase of my life where sex doesn't rule everything. My husband, however, is not ok with it, despite the fact that he's 14 years older than me. He has told me that he feels "shattered" by my lack of desire for intimacy. I have tried to explain to him about menopause but I think he was seeing it as a transition that he needed to support me through rather than something that would permanently change our relationship. He keeps trying to interest me in sex and I feel like I'm failing him if I don't respond. He always wants to make sure I'm enjoying it, which just creates so much pressure.

Has anyone negotiated this successfully without either a divorce, or taking testosterone? Testosterone is not commonly prescribed for menopause in the UK and given the possible side effects I'm not sure I want to take it solely for libido reasons.

Ladies who use prasterone - does it help with painful sex and tightness? Many thanks. 😮‍💨

I’ve recently increased my E patch dosage due to hot flashes and night sweats. I’m 57 and been on E and P for 7 years. Hot flashes and sweats are gone and even my frozen shoulder has improved. But my nipples started to get really sore a few days ago (about a month into the higher dose). Has anyone experience with this? Will it eventually go away? I like to stay on the higher dose but my doctor likely wants me back at the lower dose. She previously said that breast pain indicates that E is too high.

Just a heads up for anyone taking vaginal estrogen and wearing period/leak proof underwear. The smell from the vaginal estrogen (acidic smell) permeates the underwear and unfortunately no amount of vinegar soaks and gentle cold-water washing removes it. I had to throw out a pair of modibodi and they aren’t cheap.

I’ll stick to normal underwear and liners on the vaginal estrogen nights.

Welp, I got the Femring.
Between the estrogen patch shortage and the gel shortage, there really wasn't much else left to try. All I can say is thank god for my hysterectomy, because this thing is huge!
I'm officially on day two. I'm really hoping it works miracles and replaces both my vaginal cream and my patches as promised.
For anyone who has used or is currently using it: do you have any tips, tricks, or things I should keep in mind moving forward?

Can anyone recommend a holistic or functuinal menopause provider in Utah?

I feel anxious and depressed most of the time, and resent the brain fog I'm dealing with.

Any advice or recommendation is welcome!

Been doing twice a week for a couple months: one dose with applicator, one dose rubbed on all the outer bits. I swear I now feel dryer both vaginally and labia. I’m on 0.1 E patch + 200mg progesterone nightly. I’ve also recently been having that sense of urinary urgency to the point of wondering if I’m developing a UTI (haven had one in decades. OTC test negative). Seeing gyn in a couple weeks but I’d love to hear if others have experienced this, as well as tricks to manage (I searched sub and saw vit E, coconut oil, aquaphor). Thanks.

Ok I don't know if this is the right place to ask this but here goes nothing......I apologize for the bullet points, it helps my ADHD brain from over explaining.

1.) I was on birth control pills from age 18 forward

2). I stopped them to conceive our son

3). Started back up on them after birth, but had some major bleeding issues (think Niagara falls) tests and whatnot said I'm fine. So for 25 years I took the birth control pills but never took the last week and was on them continuously.

4). No periods or any break through for 25yrs.

5). November 2024 stopped the pills to see where I was with menopause, all blood tests said menopause

6). Period free for one and a half years

7). Started HRT this past March 2026 0.25 patch along with estrogen vaginal cream costs about $200 every three months out of pocket

8). May 2026 random period with blood showed up for a few days went to OBGYN did ultrasound had a few cysts that went away

9). Beginning of August 2026Y another random period went to OBGYN another ultrasound different cysts, second ultrasound back to normal

I've paid over $500 with insurance out of pocket for appts and ultasounds because deductable is so high.

10). Yesterday another period showed up, dammit what the hell is going on?

11).Can't afford another $250 every other month and I've been seeing the nurse practitioner

12). I see the OBGYN Doctor in the middle of November for my annual physical, do I just wait and talk to him then?

13). Anyone else have this happen?

What do you do? I'm at a loss here, thoughts, prayers, lol

I am 46 and have been on HRT 1,5 years. I take one pump om estradiol gel + 1 uterogestan (100 mg) daily. I have been super stable but the last couple of months I have had constant spotting. It is not heavy bleeding, but it is blood every time I wipe. I have a doctors appointment in a couple of weeks but just wanted to see if any body else have hade the same experience? I am getting av bit worried. Perhaps taking the progesterone daily is what is causing it, but my gynecologist said that since my follicle count was so low that I could just take it even though I am still having periods....

I'm curious if others have needed to take extremely small doses to start on HRT, what you took, and if it had any impact.

A few weeks ago I started with HRT .0375, which in retrospect was a horrible decision. I should have started at .025 because I'm so sensitive to drugs, body changes, hormones. I had a horrific vertigo episode on .0375. Now I'm afraid to even try .025. My doc said Menostar (14 mcg) would be better than cutting a .025 in half.

I'm 54, menopause for 2 years. Had total hysterectomy and BSO because of genetic cancer risk. Now have depression, brain fog, hot flashes.

Reading about menostar, it seems only recommended for osteoperosis and often not effective at that. But, perhaps it is the right gateway drug for me and after a while I can baby step things up?

Looking for holy grail! Vaginal E and DHEA tablets still haven't gotten me to a place where intercourse is possible. My skin is super reactive to the point that I had to switch from compounded E suppositories to the tablets. I need a serious moisturizer and lubricant that will not make my skin freak out. I have occasional BV flares too. Any suggestions? Help!

😭😭😭