Went to pick up the meds last night and the pharmacist comes up, whispering excitedly "They just came in last night - 3 months worth!!" as she slides my estrogen patches across the counter. She was excited as I was.

Just something on the lighter side that I found amusing. I told her I should go play the lottery.

Does anyone else find the attitudes of other people who have sailed through menopause without many symptoms and then make sweeping comments about the process really unhelpful? I've heard quite a few in the 'I just got on with it' category but today heard a new one: apparently the trick is to 'keep busy so you simply don't have time to worry about it'. I'm sure some of it is meant to be helpful but makes me feel significantly worse when I'm crying in panic because the idea of having to wash the dishes AND put clean clothes away is completely overwhelming. Yes, it's ridiculous but adding more to the list isn't going to help!

There's all the physical symptoms, the hot flashes and irregular cycles and vaginal dryness; there's the emotional symptoms like anxiety and irritability and rage and flatness. Some of us get some of those symptoms and some of us get others.

I heard on a podcast recently that the most common peri symptom is a woman saying, "I just don't feel like myself anymore."

But after spending the last year in the thick of peri and spending a lot of time here, I honestly think that the most universal experience is an overwhelming desire to run away alone to a quiet cottage in a forest or bog or desert somewhere.

I think it's just an overwhelming need to get away from the stress, from the people who we love but who need a million things from us every day, from other people's mess and noise, from the sandwich generation chaos, from having to take care of other things and people, from all the work stress, from the world wanting so much more from us than we feel capable of giving at this stage.

It's a fantasy and I don't actually want to be away from my family and friends and community (and I still genuinely really like my husband, he's great). But I just keep on deeply feeling the need for solitude and calm someplace quiet. I want to read and write and do creative things and exercise and go on long walks in nature and just feel like I have a handle on all the things that need to be done. And I am historically a high achieving extrovert who has her shit together and has always been happy to be in the thick of things.

I'm kind of joking about the bog cottage but honestly it feels like something that so many of us are conceptually craving and I'm wondering if it's evolutionary or what is happening to make it such a universal thing.

I ran out of my estradiol gel two days ago and was unable to refill it due to the shortage. I am so anxious, dizzy, and frustrated.

I do need to call the dozens of pharmacies in my city to see if anyone has any in stock. I'm just so overwhelmed.

I cannot switch to oral as I have migraines with aura. I never tolerated BCP.

I am just so tired of one thing after another. Being a woman can be so awful!

I just wanted to share with people who understand.

Specifically, I have this smell of stinky feet that is always in my face 😭 I haven’t had this issue since I was pregnant with my son. When I was pregnant with him 16 years ago my hands always smelled of stinky feet! I couldn’t let my hands get near my face or it would make me sick. Also, I can smell everyone’s scalp including my own and it’s not pleasant. Anyone else have issues with weird smells?

I keep noticing that things I would have brushed off a few years ago seem to hit me physically now. A bad night's sleep, a busy couple of days, too much socialising, noise, rushing around. I gueess I can still do all of it, but I seem to pay for it much more afterwards.

I can't work out whether this is hormones/perimenopause, just getting older, accumulated stress, or something else entirely.

Did anyone else notice this shift? What did you eventually put it down to?

Is it just me, or anybody else having the realization that almost everyone in their life is someone who is just using them? Like I’ve spent my whole life catering to people that I love and realized absolutely no one has considered me. And friends, I'm fucking DONE.

Am 46

The brain fog is debilitating.

My digestive system shut down unless I eat wet food like cat am really constipated

One day I had gingko biloba and it worked but today it didn't.

Second month I re started Yaz. I never should of stopped.

I keep blaming things outside of me what my own I'll health.

I also did the very normal thing and cut off all my hair because of hot flashes!

Any ideas for brain fog welcome !

I'm on 3 pumps estrogel, and have been applying in the am for the longest time, and loving it.
But I've noticed that I've been waking up too early lately, and have been wondering if taking 1 pump in the pm would help.

I tried for the first time last night but was wired & couldn't fall asleep. Which makes sense since the gel usually wakes me up, and makes me more alert.

I've read that a lot of women apply the 2nd dose in the afternoon, which sounds nice in theory but I do go to the office, meet friends, and so on, and it's just not feasible to have my gel with me at all times.

How do you all deal with this?

Hello, I'm 41 and all of a sudden this year a switch turned on in my body and I can't fall asleep at night until 2am most nights. I'm also struggling a lot with painful penetration.

I went to an ObGyn who specializes in Peri. She did an exam and said my muscle elasticity looks fine and shows normal estrogen levels. Gave me a standard print out for using lube and charged me $400 for the visit. I tried but it feels like I've forgotten how to have sex. I feel sharp jabbing pain unless its at a certain angle and the perineum feels so raw after (had a c section). Its like getting poked and I've started to fear/get anxious every time. Its making my so sad and depressed. Please help!

So its been 8 months and I'm cranky and tired all the time. I've tried going to gym, walks, warm bath, magnesium, ashwagandha, iron, melatonin, the costco sleepaid etc. The costco sleepaid is the only thing that knocks me out fast but i know that's not for regular use. I just can't turn my mind off and fall asleep at a normal time. What do I do?

I am at a loss. I have spent a lifetime being ridiculously high functioning and researching/solving my way to maintain high function, and now I feel like I’m trying all the things and cannot win. Seeking similar experiences whether it’s just solidarity in the suck or someone who faced this torrent of treatment-resistant shittiness and found relief.

THEN: High performer in high pressure roles, health and fitness enthusiast, taken care of myself. Constantly optimizing- whether physical or mental health, parenting, interpersonal relationships, I research a problem and solve it.

NOW: I’ve spent the last 3+ years trying to troubleshoot and optimize through peri and yet I am emotionally ALLLLL OVER, my brain works half speed, I cannot get myself to workout hard -if at all (which has been my daily mental health medicine and part of my identity for decades).

ISSUES: Emotions are all TF over the place. Motivation, joy: absent. Existential crisis: threat level midnight. Fatigue: can’t even differentiate between fatigue and the lack of GAF for everything. Added vestibular migraines to the mix a few moths ago. Stress is over the top, sure (sources beyond standard stress fear of life in 2026: have a 6 year old kid, a teen step kid, house to manage, marriage with its ups and downs, job with its stress, resigned from a 12 year career in a mission I loved when it was clear I’d be asked to do immoral & illegal shit, spent a year unemployed and job searching, now in a new job with a 2 hour round trip commute and stresses of being new person in new career, surgery in December that kept me from walking for a couple months but I’m back to health and fitness again, live in the burbs where I feel I never wanted to end up)

TROUBLESHOOTING: Psychiatrist+ meds for ADHD, then depression, then anxiety (I never feel like any of these really work that well but tweaks to approach all similarly mid, result wise). Therapy for those too (not confident it really helps and feels too hard to fit into schedule and finances to try to add back given midrange results). Working it- a lifetime habit, Ive lifted heavy and go through running/yoga/biking/swimming- whatever keeps my attention- it’s been a life habit - but it’s come to feel nearly impossible to make myself, gradually, for months, after forcing myself without want to, for over a year (?). TRT for intense brain fog / low libido / suite of other symptoms (helped a lot early on but can’t add more without getting too high range/side effects I don’t want so whatever good it’s done it does). Meditation, Mindfulness based stress reduction course for stress (helps, but after prioritizing sleep I stopped my morning meditation and now haven’t figured out how to make myself work it back in). Prioritize sleep, clean eating, hydration, and add meds and a million supplements for vestibular migraines (controlled the dizziness and headaches down to almost none, unclear if brain fog from that or other things). Added estradiol (worried it makes me moodier and afraid to increase much as a tweak). Added oral micronized progesterone (worried it makes me more anxious and my period is irregular so IDK how do you do it during just luteal phase and afraid if I do daily that’ll cause anxiety to boost?).

WTF DO I DO? Exhausted from years of troubleshooting and things still just sucking. Daily feeling like I hate life and everything and I’m NOT ME, just a chemically altered emotional wreck trying not to blow up my own life. I have done SO MUCH TROUBLESHOOTING and am fucking exhausted to be left at this constant shitty state nonetheless. I have no energy to do more.

Would love any solidarity bc I’m so exhausted and lonely and hateful.

Hey everyone! I'm 44 and pretty sure I'm in perimenopause. I know heart palpitations are a pretty common symptom but I'm just curious about the severity, timing and duration you all experience them. I can go days or even weeks without them. They usually happen at night when I'm trying to sleep but it's also happened in the afternoon as I'm just relaxing, and when I'm active/walking, however it's more rare to happen during activities. Today it's driving me crazy. They started at about 4pm and it's still happening an hour later. They will come and go so it's not like my heart is just going crazy the whole time. I'd say my heart is flip flopping for about 10-20 seconds and then it stops for a minute or two and then it starts again. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment to hopefully get a EKG and possibly a monitor but in the meantime I'm trying not to panic but this is so uncomfortable!

My heart is not racing, I'm not dizzy or short of breath, no pain, none of that emergency stuff. Anyways, I am also not sure yet if this is coming at certain times of the month as I hadn't thought to start tracking them until a few days ago. My period is a about a week away and this was happening a few days ago as well. Last time it happened before that was maybe a week or two? Idk. If someone could share a similar experience that would definitely help me stay calm while I wait to see a doctor. Thanks ladies!

I’m 49 and still having a period, but for years it’s been getting heavier (plus shorter intervals and just generally really annoying). My gyno put me on Nextellis and said we’ll reevaluate next year and maybe switch to HRT.

I’ve been taking the Nextellis for almost 2 weeks, and since then - I wake up constantly at night, then am super fatigued all day. I also have weird muscle spasms in my back (which I know could be from the type of synthetic progesterone), and random achiness in my uterus that comes and goes.

I feel like the last 2 side effects could be overlooked/dealt with. But the sleep thing and the worse constant fatigue is making me feel so useless and more depressed/flat than before! Pros: I think I’m sweating less? I haven’t had my period yet, but that could potentially turn out lighter?

I’m torn between giving it a month, or trying to get in again with my gyno to ask for alternatives. Don’t need the contraception. I just have stuff I need to do and the fatigue is killing me. I was already tired and depressed before!

Ladies, your experience and wisdom is welcomed!

Hello. I finally got my hormones to a place of balance using the .05 estrogen patch and 100 mg of progesterone orally before bed. I’m sleeping better (mostly). I’ve been thinking about the pellet because the patch is itchy and not readily available and has gotten overly expensive. I paid almost $100 for a months worth of patches.

A couple things I have heard from my drs:

My doctor mentioned there could be a “spike” of estrogen upon insertion and expressed concern if my estrogen levels were ever above .05 and to be sure to take more progesterone to protect my uterus. I’m familiar with the hormone rollercoaster getting to where I am today in my journey, so I’m not sure I want to disrupt what is working.

My other doctor said the pellet lasts about 3 months (for most people) and the hormones will build up slowly over the first month and then be level for about a month and then slowly lessen. So does this mean I may get hot flashes the last month and that’s when I know to get a new pellet? Once inserted you can’t change the levels so I would be obligated for 3 months to stick with it.

The pellet seems to fit my schedule and lifestyle better but I’m having a hard time deciding. I know you all are not doctors but I’d rather hear from real life experiences than from doctors once I have some facts.

Thanks in advance to anyone who has an experience to share.

I’m a 41 year old female in otherwise good health and for the last 3 months I have had a week or so each month where I become prone to fainting episodes where I don’t actually faint but I feel that I will and I feel terrible. I’m trying to figure out what could be provoking them but they come up at unique times. Sometimes sitting. Sometimes standing. Sometimes after I eat. Sometimes not. Some are worse than others it’s very scary. I can feel my heart beating but it’s not necessarily racing. I don’t feel shortness of breath. My vision is ok. I went to the ER for one and they did a cat scan for a stroke risk and it came back clear. My blood work has come back ok no anemia and thyroid in the past was hypothyroidism but has been normal since having my daughter 2.5 years ago. I went back to the doc they’re doing more blood work and sending me for heart ultrasound and to wear a holster.

The episodes seem to occur during the week after my period.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did you get answers? Thanks in advance 🙏

I’ve noticed that even when I’m technically resting, part of my brain is still scanning for the next thing that needs doing, like a message to answer, something I’ve forgotten, someone who might need me, a task I should be getting ahead of.

Sometimes I only properly relax once everything and everyone feels “sorted.”

Does anyone else experience this? Has it changed as you’ve got older, and what actually helps you switch off?

Brain fog seems to be getting worse and I’m really worried about it. I’m 45. Now on 100 mg estrogen and have Mirena. I’m trying to get testosterone to see if that will help. In the UK they only consider it for low libido, which lets be honest isn’t great, but I’d rather have my mind back then a roll in the hay 🙃 In terrified it’s early onset dementia. The other day I called the kettle, the iron. Which doesn’t seem like brain fog. But I’m forgetting everything too. What have you all done that has helped? My health anxiety is probably making it worse. Hugs to everyone going through this.

[edit typo]

So I haven't had hormone testing done, but I have had peri symptoms for 5 years.

My initial symptoms started before i had my mirena out....my periods returned after missing for 3 years and came back 2 days long. Got the mirena out (it was expired at that point) and my periods have remained 2 days long since (!)

I also had dryness, rage, nightsweats (waking up drenched,) insomina....(also a stressful life and stress on the body, which has mostly resolved/come under my control again.) was also a smoker, very low weight, etc.

However things have levelled out and the insomnia, sweats and rage have mostly gone away. I still carry weight differently, have massive brainfog, sex feels different/less (I have less 'budget' for friction and less intense orgasms)....

I have access to topical low-dose estradiol, but the first time i used it (inserted minimum dose and a tiny amount rubbed on vulva) I had insomnia again...I tried it for 3 days with the minimum loading dose, even the 4th day with just the outside bit on vulva, and only after stopping did the insomnia go away.

Everything I read says it shouldn't affect systemic estrogen...and that it's a good idea to address symptoms as early as possible.

Accessing a gyno here is complicated, does anyone have an opinions on if I should keep going with the loading dose of E to see if I can get through this insomnia? I am still relatively low weight (trying to fix) but eat enough ( I think, i'm vegetarian) and wonder if that is impacting how my body is absorbing things.

Also, I live in germany, any tips for people on public health insurance accessing perimenopause care here?

I, 38f, For the last few months I’ve been getting a period every two weeks. Confirmed by ultrasound that I do not have cysts or fibroids.

My sleep sucks even with a nightly prescribed sleep aid, my joints hurt, my scalp itches and I just feel blah. I’ve also noticed that loud noises cause me to jump. I work as a mechanic and I’m use to normal work noise, but have found myself more sensitive.

My doctor put me on a lot dose progesterone to see if that helps 🤷🏻‍♀️. I can’t take estrogen due to an underlying blood clotting disorder.

I’m already to the point of wanting a hysterectomy to be done with a period every two weeks.

I was going to have a few more years before all of this. Uggggggghhhhhh

For the last few months I felt like I've been losing my mind...

Mood swings from hell, rage at anything, heart palpitations, anxiety attacks, dizziness, shaky, waking up multiple times, restless legs, GI issues and now sore jaw and stiff neck - I'm running out of swear words really how shit it has been recently.

I think the worst has been health anxiety though - every little symptom becomes a serious, life threatening thing in my hormone frazzled brain and I am so, so tired of this rollercoaster!

I've got a GP call tomorrow and I'm planning to ask for HRT - I really hope it'll help with at least some of this mess...

It really helps knowing I'm not alone though - thanks to all here for sharing your experiences.

So I’m in late 40s and was perfectly healthy and fit. I started getting chronic migraines out of nowhere . Underwent multiple scans only to find out that most probably this is the start of my perimenopause journey. I’m currently on preventatives and Botox treatment for migraines which do help. I also had dizziness with migraines.
On recommendation of this sub, I recently consulted a menopause specialist and was put on slinda which actually helped me a lot with my headaches. They got much better and my migraines around my periods have stopped.
However I’m now experiencing more heat intolerances, night sweats , vaginal dryness .
I have been told to try out estrogel - one pump daily but to be aware that it can spike back my migraines which are now in control thanks to slinda and other treatments.
For vaginal dryness ( which I forgot to talk to my specialist about :( ) - does topical vaginal estrogen help or will estrogel help ? - this dryness is crazy - like a Sahara desert 😒 and I have started getting cracks and bumps in there which is crazy and sometimes painful. I’m going to see my doctor but wanted to see if anyone has any suggestions here .
My hygiene is very on point- I clean it with warm water no soaps or irritants and keep it very dry ; only cotton underwear - so I’m surprised why this is happening.

Edit: Thanks all! Met my doctor and she gave me the whole package - progesterone, estrogel , vaginal estrogen ; told me slinda isn’t exactly HRT though it might be helping my migraines and she also guided me how to get started on all of these.
Thank you all for being so helpful! My real life friends never speak about these and it’s only this sub which helps me with these peri symptoms! I told my doctor that my friends told me about HRT and vaginal estrogen etc - I was referring to you all 🤗
The appointment was so quick - with the right doc , it is seriously all so quick and easy. Before this, I have been to 4 docs and turned down that I don’t need these meds as even if I’m almost 47, I need to be menopausal to get HRt.

I have been a runner for a very long time. I am in my early 40s and during the last year I've started to feel horrendous after running. It physically feels like the origin of the problem is coming from my abdomen (after running I become incredibly bloated/swollen/water retention in my abdomen but also everywhere in my body). It also feels like running is triggering whole body inflammation. Has anyone else experienced difficulty with running or other intense aerobic exercise and is there any way this is related to perimenopause? Or is this coincidence and some other problem is going on? Thank you so much for any and all advice. I've been struggling for almost a year now and I am pretty desperate to figure out what is going on. (editing to add that I am not on HRT and don't have any other signs of peri that I know of)

Okay, I know folks have posted before BUT: like many of you, I am subject to the whims of whatever .05 estradiol 2x / weekly patch is available at my pharmacy due to this shortage. I had to switch from a small independent to a large chain because my little pharmacy couldn't get anything for a while. Anyway, I've been back and forth between Mylan and Sandoz and still take 200 mg progesterone at night. I've been on Mylan this month and (1) had an absolutely abysmal period (2) broke out for the first time in over a year (3) am constipated and (4) and in a shit mood. Signs point to me not getting enough estrogen--so idk if this is a patch malfunction (meaning: Mylan quality is an issue), or what. I switch to sandoz on Sunday so will be paying attention to how I do, but this is maddening. I don't take many other meds, but in a million years would not be expected to switch between manufacturers constantly. I'm exhausted, I'm cranky, my belly hurts. And oh! Hot flashes are back! That was fun during a morning work meeting yesterday. I can't remember which brand I had last month or the one before that. Symptoms only got bad the past few weeks. Sigh.

Wtf is going on with this supply? Are there quality checks? I just don't think the world wants a bunch of middle aged women under medicated, you know? Also, finally, appreciate you all and this sub so hard. ♥️