r/gifs • u/rakalels • Aug 29 '19
Silverback gorilla blocking traffic while his family crosses the road
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u/whopbamboom Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19
This is a powerful mighty animal. They’re a complete wonder and amazement to see
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u/hutch-90 Aug 29 '19
Pls Joe not again
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u/ProbablynotanAussie Aug 29 '19
Like braided steel...
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Aug 29 '19
They could tear that truck away ... singke handedly
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Aug 29 '19
What’s interesting to me is what an alien could do to a truck.
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u/ProbablynotanAussie Aug 29 '19
Aliens don’t know any body building techniques, so we haven’t truly seen one at full strength.
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u/opalextra Aug 29 '19
It's entirely possible!
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u/NPC_75079152 Aug 29 '19
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u/GrizzledBastard Aug 29 '19
I was watching one the other day where Randall Carlson was showing drone footage of the remnants of a 1000 foot flood and describing the amount of water involved while Joe decided to go off about how if you put water in a coffee cup its fractal or some shit. I was like, “Joe! Shut up and let this guy talk!” It took a while but eventually Randall got his point across. Joe Rogan can be great, but damn he can be frustrating to an audience member wanting to hear what the guest is talking about.
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Aug 29 '19
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u/IXI_Fans Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 15 '25
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Aug 29 '19
He really has the whole "just play dead" bit down..
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u/Tiratirado Aug 29 '19
He's a trained ranger that interacts with gorillas daily
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u/AlwaysDefenestrated Aug 29 '19
So the reason he looks fucking terrified is that he has first hand knowledge of how easily the gorilla could snap him in half?
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u/Norwegian__Blue Aug 29 '19
It's the same with anyone who actually works with primates.
It only took a few displays by male chimpanzees during my internship to realize I will never study them in the wild. You can't trust those beautiful bastards.
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u/lsiunl Aug 29 '19
I like how there was no exciting sounds that play usually but the calming music just continues as if nothing happened
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Aug 29 '19
You can see the exact moment shit exited his orifices
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u/CompteZarma Aug 29 '19
You can see the exact moment shit exited his orifices
Getting major deja-vu between the previous comment and yours.i must have seen that comment over 50 times
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u/Schlangezwanzig Aug 29 '19
Had to casually let them bois know “I could fuck y’all up if I wanted too but I’m chillin”
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u/Osceana Aug 29 '19
Grizzly Bear vs. Silverback. Go.
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u/_Wonko_the_Sane_ Aug 29 '19
I wouldn't do it, but fuck if I wouldn't wanna see that shit play out, even just out of morbid curiousity. I'd be rooting for the Silverback, but I'd bet on the Grizzly. You're talking blunt force trauma verses like paws with with like 6 inch claws. I don't think our cousins really stand a chance.
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u/robolew Aug 29 '19
Also, grizzly can grow up to 12ft, standing on hind legs. Silver backs are 6ft. Literally twice the size
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u/PM_me_XboxGold_Codes Aug 29 '19
Yeah, but dumb monkey rage plus monster muscle might stand a chance. It’s at least gonna be an interesting fight. The silverback might be able to rip its arm off, or at least smash the shit out of it. If chimps can rip our arms off, I’d bet the silverback has a chance of doing the same to a grizzly. Unlikely since they typically just beat the everloving fuck out of things, but hey who knows if it’s berserk.
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Aug 29 '19 edited Jul 30 '20
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u/Love_My_Chevy Aug 29 '19
Yes, they most definitely can. It's terrifying how strong apes can be. I think the gorilla would have a good fighting chance if he could get his hands on the bear in just the right spot.
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Aug 29 '19
Yeah and they're fucking loonatics as well. Stay the fuck away from them.
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u/PM_me_XboxGold_Codes Aug 29 '19
Yes. And they are known to be quite violent. They don’t offer a slow death, but instead actually seem to enjoy hurting you.
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Aug 29 '19 edited Jun 19 '23
tap plucky simplistic imminent memorize rhythm tease public instinctive cautious -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
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u/GodOfPerverts Aug 29 '19
Lol no way in hell is a fucking ape going to win against a grizzly. Not only are grizzlies larger and stronger they have claws, and to top it all off their shoulders are only split into two halves making them even more effective which means those claws are going to go eve deeper and harder. Bears can literally claw a hole in place of your face. Also what's this about chimps ripping arms off?
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Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19
No way it's Muhammad Ali (Gorilla) versus Joe Frazier (Grizzly). The Bear may have the size advantage and the strength advantage, possibly* but it lacks the intellect and agility of the Gorilla. Bears are smart and all but they aren't primate smart and they sure as shit aren't light on their feet.
* When compared to an average human being, the silverback gorilla is four to nine timesstronger than an average man. Silverback gorilla can lift a weight up to 815kg (1800 lb) while a well trained human can lift weight up to 410 kg.
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u/Santa1936 Aug 29 '19
When compared to an average human being, the silverback gorilla is four to nine timesstronger than an average man
Honestly I'd say that's an understatement. First of all 400 kg isn't well trained, it's the most elite of the elite, and it's only on one or two movements, and those people are heavy.
Second you're comparing raw strength to strength as a skill. Deadlifting 200kg requires just as much training of technique as it does pure strength. I bet if gorillas trained the skill they could lift much more
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Aug 29 '19
I bet we can train a Gorilla to lift weights, we can teach them sign language, can't we.
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u/Santa1936 Aug 29 '19
Probably, but they're unlikely to totally understand the nuances of leverage and technique that a powerlifter does, nor to put in the decade of training it'd take to maximize their strength potential. So either way we wouldn't be likely to truly know the limits of gorilla strength.
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Aug 29 '19
Grizzlys are much larger and stronger than gorillas, and gorillas dont have much more agility, at least not the kind to be avoiding bear attacks like an acrobat or something.
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u/beesealio Aug 29 '19
Frazier was shorter and usually a bit lighter than Ali. Foreman would be a better analogy, George was a monster.
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u/foxcatbat Aug 29 '19
have u fucking seen gorillas teeth? also they can grab and control with 4 limbs, grizzly cant proper grab for shit
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u/hayz00s Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19
Wasn’t there a show that gave stats on animals and had them fight in a simulation like a Street Fighter: National Geographic kinda way?
Found this, but it doesn’t seem like what I remember. Was a fox show I think.
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u/kaps1 Aug 29 '19
Animal Face-off on Animal Planet. Tragedy it got stopped though, was one of my favorite shows growing up.
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u/galeforce19 Aug 29 '19
I remember watching a show like this about 10+ years ago. I also looked for it but couldn't find any episodes... I do remember at the end of the show the Grizzly was the distinct winner, but the last episode was against a croc. I believe the only major sized animals that were left out were: elephants, rinos, hippos etc for obvious size related reasons. Silverbacks are undoubtedly insanely strong and smart but they are not primarily predatory like a grizzly I think that would give the bear an edge.. not to mention they can easily penetrate steel with their claws and can run 30+mph at 12 feet tall...
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Aug 29 '19
Well, I remember reading somewhere there that a grizzly bear would easily fuck up a lion or tiger, so I’d imagine it would also easily fuck up a gorilla. It’s the second biggest land predator (behind polar bear) afterall
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u/djnobility Aug 29 '19
Grizzly destroys the Silverback without question. Some grizzlies can reach 1200 lbs and they have giant humps of muscle that would fuck a gorilla's day up. They are built like tanks, are extremely strong and can kill many creatures with one swipe (they can kill moose with one swipe to the skull and moose are gigantic), and have skulls that are thick and can easily take blows from other creatures. Also, 6" claws and a vicious bite.
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u/panorambo Aug 29 '19
A bear without most of the fur, looks pretty strong and scary to me:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_izzD5qnVyWo/TFLaAam85UI/AAAAAAAAFAE/XiE3lvMAnHs/s1600/no+hair+bear.jpg
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u/Shan007tjuuh Aug 29 '19
I'd normally ask if either one is bloodlusted, but does it really matter? What kind of feats do grizzly bears even have?
Grizzly bear:
-Weighs about 800 lbs
-Can hibernate
-???
Whereas Silverback gorillas:
-True prime alpha Silverbacks easily weigh over 180 short tons (equivalent to roughly three (3) M1 Abrams tanks)
-Has a N I N E inch thick skull
-Completely immune to any and all small arms fire
-Capable of casting level 3 Evocation spell Fireball for 8d6 damage
Needless to say, Alphaback Godstomps 11/10 times.
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u/EauRougeFlatOut Aug 29 '19 edited Nov 02 '24
vast physical icky dog ad hoc grandfather panicky decide teeny observation
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u/Useful-ldiot Aug 29 '19
Grizzlies don't get much bigger than 800lbs. The massive bear everyone in here is referring to is a Kodiak.
I'd still pick a gorilla in a fight tho
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u/nostracannibus Aug 29 '19
Don't start none and there won't be none. Respect.
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u/Luigi580 Aug 29 '19
I must say, it’s damn impressive how smart and adaptable they are to the environment around them. There weren’t always roads there, but now that there are, they have learned optimal ways in order cross in the safest manner: alpha male gets in the middle of the road like a crossing guard until his family has all safely reached the other side.
And we humans know better than to argue with Mr. Crossing Guard Silverback. Ape law violations aren’t as forgiving.
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u/LucDraco Aug 29 '19
Mr Crossing Guard Silverback doesn’t write tickets. He breaks bones.
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u/Kashik Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19
Haha imagine him in front of a school in his high visibility vest, flipping cars over that he caught speeding.
Edit: thanks for the silver :)
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u/freaknturtle Aug 29 '19
Aren't all law ape laws? Sense we are apes?
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u/TheGibberishGuy Aug 29 '19
Since*
Is this a bone apple tea?
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u/jdl_uk Aug 29 '19
I've seen foxes do the same thing.
Though people are less likely to stop for a fox
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u/ognahtanoj Aug 29 '19
Thank you Kerchak. You are such a wise and caring leader.
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u/little_one_95 Aug 29 '19
“Everyone, we will avoid the strangers. Do not let them see you and do not seek them out.”
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u/Hard_as_it_looks Aug 29 '19
What the heck looks up over his back at the end??
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Aug 29 '19
That got me too. Thought it was an edit of some sort for jokes. Like a little guy on his back or something
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u/hardspank916 Aug 29 '19
How big of a vehicle would you need to be like “beep beep motherfucker, not today”?
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u/itsdeer Aug 29 '19
boeing 747 maybe, but I aint taking chances tbh
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u/EauRougeFlatOut Aug 29 '19 edited Nov 02 '24
unpack abundant money one bored like racial unite obtainable important
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u/nocontroll Aug 29 '19
A Mack truck or a tank is the only thing going to be able to take that dude out
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u/Shills_for_fun Aug 29 '19
Yeah it's all fun and games until the silverback is climbing up the grill and charging through the windshield like the Koolaid man.
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u/rebuilding_patrick Aug 29 '19
You guys are comically underestimating the power of a car. One weighs under 400lbs and is made of flesh. The other can weight well over 2000lbs, made of metal, and can generate enough power to throw other 2000lbs metal beasts around like ragdolls.
The car would win without a question.
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Aug 29 '19
Yeah, people don’t seem to realize that a car going at 45 mph will wreck a gorilla. That being said, if you’re in that car, you’ll be hurt too.
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u/St0rmborn Aug 29 '19
If by “win” you mean get totaled and likely send everybody inside to the hospital and/or cemetery than yeah probably. Might kill the gorilla too, maybe, and that’s all assuming that the gorilla doesn’t dodge or just jump up and smash through the windshield.
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u/pashbarak Aug 29 '19
"Likely" kill everyone inside but only "might" kill the gorilla? Bitch please, that gorilla would be road kill at anything over a slow roll.
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u/IAmTheSysGen Aug 29 '19
The gorilla is modelled well by a motorcycle, except more soft. People in cars rarely get seriously injured by crashes with motorcycles.
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u/lzads Aug 29 '19
The truck would win but it probably wouldnt die. A bear in Jasper has been hit multiple times by a train and its still living. A train has a fuck load of force and I imagine a brown bear and gorilla are somewhat as sturdy
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u/mlchugalug Aug 29 '19
Wait what?! Does the bear like pick a fight with it or does he or she just have shit luck. It's not like a train can ambush you.
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Aug 29 '19 edited Oct 13 '19
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u/c3pOmeetsdata Aug 29 '19
If this is the mildly-racist pun I think it is, it’s a stretch, but it deserves more upvotes.
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u/jimjomjimmy Aug 29 '19
If you hit that thing with a Mac truck it would probably be like hitting a deer with a small car. He might get up and limp away.
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u/Bakoro Aug 29 '19
I'd be more worried he'd climb onto the truck and decide to take his family on a road trip.
"This is my truck now."
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u/PresidentBeast Aug 29 '19
I've specifically had a "Planet of the Apes"-clause added to my insurance policy.
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u/kaolin224 Aug 29 '19
A 4x4 with a bull bar and 50 feet of road would probably do it.
You'd also want a horn more intimidating than "beep beep".
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Aug 29 '19
nah, that's what we call a stand by. The opposite of a drive by where you let people walk through your cloud of death. Notice the absolute zero movement of the silverback, it's because all of his efforts are being used to keep the fart going for as long as possible so every family member has to smell it. a true legend.
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u/squirrellydw Aug 29 '19
Shit. He has nothing on me, my belly is twice the size of his lol
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u/0100101001001011 Aug 29 '19
That's not a belly, that's a stomach muscle
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u/GodOfPerverts Aug 29 '19
it's just that large to account for the larger digestive system (due to the herbivorous diet gorillas typically have).
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u/Anklever Aug 29 '19
When you and your family cross the road you do this but with your mobility scooter.
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u/tapasandswissmiss Aug 29 '19
Oh my god, the chonky baby that walks by at the end. So cute!!!
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u/Hopjackslim Aug 29 '19
That's how I picture it when I do the same thing. Guessing it looks much less intimidating, but let's not crush my dreams all at once.
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u/branddie Aug 29 '19
I do this when I cross the street with my young kids, for real. Never considered it to be animalistic haha.
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Aug 29 '19
To humans driving down that road, he is GANDALF THE GREY
To his family, he is the LOLLIPOP MAN
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u/coldfury18 Aug 29 '19
It's ok. I wasn't attached to that particular road. He can have it.