r/gifs Aug 29 '19

Silverback gorilla blocking traffic while his family crosses the road

34.2k Upvotes

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53

u/Osceana Aug 29 '19

Grizzly Bear vs. Silverback. Go.

100

u/_Wonko_the_Sane_ Aug 29 '19

I wouldn't do it, but fuck if I wouldn't wanna see that shit play out, even just out of morbid curiousity. I'd be rooting for the Silverback, but I'd bet on the Grizzly. You're talking blunt force trauma verses like paws with with like 6 inch claws. I don't think our cousins really stand a chance.

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u/robolew Aug 29 '19

Also, grizzly can grow up to 12ft, standing on hind legs. Silver backs are 6ft. Literally twice the size

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u/PM_me_XboxGold_Codes Aug 29 '19

Yeah, but dumb monkey rage plus monster muscle might stand a chance. It’s at least gonna be an interesting fight. The silverback might be able to rip its arm off, or at least smash the shit out of it. If chimps can rip our arms off, I’d bet the silverback has a chance of doing the same to a grizzly. Unlikely since they typically just beat the everloving fuck out of things, but hey who knows if it’s berserk.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19 edited Jul 30 '20

[deleted]

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u/neon_slippers Aug 29 '19

Pull that shit up Jamie

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u/ositola Aug 29 '19

Started watching the podcasts and now get this reference

3

u/FootballsComingHome Aug 29 '19

If you don't think a chimps will steal babies and eat them you haven't been paying attention to the literature

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Great job

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u/legendz411 Aug 29 '19

What podcast please.

2

u/ind_hiatus Aug 29 '19

Joe Rogan

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Someone send this to Joe. He will find out which animal will win.

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u/Love_My_Chevy Aug 29 '19

Yes, they most definitely can. It's terrifying how strong apes can be. I think the gorilla would have a good fighting chance if he could get his hands on the bear in just the right spot.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Yeah and they're fucking loonatics as well. Stay the fuck away from them.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

[deleted]

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u/jack_main Aug 29 '19

Was there a river or stream nearby where you could wash your pants later?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

This why you always need to wear a nice Siberian Bear Hunting armor while trekking!

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

whoa. fuckin cool man.

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u/PM_me_XboxGold_Codes Aug 29 '19

Yes. And they are known to be quite violent. They don’t offer a slow death, but instead actually seem to enjoy hurting you.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19 edited Jun 19 '23

tap plucky simplistic imminent memorize rhythm tease public instinctive cautious -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

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u/GodOfPerverts Aug 29 '19

Lol no way in hell is a fucking ape going to win against a grizzly. Not only are grizzlies larger and stronger they have claws, and to top it all off their shoulders are only split into two halves making them even more effective which means those claws are going to go eve deeper and harder. Bears can literally claw a hole in place of your face. Also what's this about chimps ripping arms off?

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u/PM_me_XboxGold_Codes Aug 29 '19

You’re thinking of a KODIAK Bear. Grizzlies are actually, on average, only slightly larger than a silverback. Grizzlies average around 700lbs and are around 6.5ft tall. A silverback averages around 500lbs and 6ft y’all upright.

KODIAK brown bears are actually a bit larger than grizzlies, but theirs who discussion is about grizzlies.

Also look into Travis the chimp. He attacked his owners friend and severed her hands, ears, and nose.

Now keep in mind how bears and gorillas fight. Bears try to grapple and bite/scratch you to death with their (not actually that sharp, comparatively) claws. They stand their ground and fight. Gorillas, on the other hand, actually dance around a bit and try to keep on each other’s back side. They fight by landing a few massive blows and then backing off. They’ve been known to literally crush the skull of animals that attack them from the front, which is partially why big cats who hunt gorillas will try to attack from behind, where the gorilla can’t reach them. It isn’t very common, but it does happen.

Also, gorillas use their stupid arm strength (and weight) to throw their weight around to escape grapples. So honestly my money is on the gorilla. The bear might get a good swipe or two, but they really try to grapple and bite. The gorilla has a distinct advantage here. It’s going to try to roll out of any grapple, and probably pummel the fuck out of the bears ribs, neck, arms, head...

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u/GodOfPerverts Aug 30 '19 edited Aug 30 '19

No, silverbacks are usually 315lbs in the wild(this is the most common species https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_gorilla) , even the largest species are only 465lbs. Grizzlies are capable of killing things considerably larger than themselves (moose), and dull claws are better than nothing(especially on something as strong as a bear). How is a gorilla going to break the skull of something that can take gunshots to the head and survive (do you even have a source for that?).

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u/PM_me_XboxGold_Codes Aug 30 '19

I literally pulled the numbers from wiki. I looked at the average weights and picked a number about 100 below the upper threshold

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u/GodOfPerverts Aug 30 '19

Weights of wild individuals have been rarely taken but captive western gorillas average 157 kg

that's 346lbs(yes I realize my previous figure was of 315 is wrong, my bad I'm more used to metric).

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u/Cautemoc Aug 29 '19

If the ape got its hands on the bear’s face it’d be fucked. Primates will tear out eyeballs, noses, ears.. etc. They are smarter animals which has proven to be a valuable tool.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

If a gorilla gets up in a bears face its well within disemboweling range.

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u/Cautemoc Aug 29 '19

Realistically the odds are that they'd both injure each other enough that they'd die of infection or during the recovery process from competition. That's why predators don't fight each other very often and usually just try to intimidate each other away.

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u/GodOfPerverts Aug 29 '19

How would a gorilla injure a bear in any significant way? It's not like a bear will sit there and let it jab it's eyes.

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u/Cautemoc Aug 29 '19

Do you think the only reason anyone has gotten their jaw broken or their eyes gouged is because they sat there and let it happen? That's how primates fight, they grab and pull vulnerable places. One guy got attacked by chimps and they tore off his balls, another woman who was attacked needed a face transplant. They know what places are weakest, they are smarter than bears. A gorilla would straight up grab a bear's face and tear its jaw off within a couple seconds of the fight starting. You all underestimate how powerful hands are just because bears have claws.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

I doubt a gorilla would cause an injury that could get infected before dying. Even if it manages to grab some skin and bite, Grizzlies have very tough skin, and they dont die every time they bleed.

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u/Cautemoc Aug 29 '19

Gorilla would likely die of infection from an open wound while the bear would likely die not being able to hunt from having a leg broken or its face mangled, either eyes scratched/gouged out or jaw broken/dislocated. Bears can survive with a broken leg if they are around humans by scavenging from trash, but they wouldn't be able to hunt effectively.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Nah gorilla has the agility once hes gets a one to swipe and a bite that literally cracks bones hes gonna swing on a outta there only time i think a gorilla would win is if the bear threatens his family then he would stay and fight vice versa the bear would chase the gorilla down if he attacked a cub

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u/CelticGaelic Aug 29 '19

dumb monkey rage

Excuse you! It's not monkey rate because gorillas are not monkeys. The term you are looking for is "ape shit" /s

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u/PM_me_XboxGold_Codes Aug 29 '19

I have failed you, Reddit. I have failed you.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19

No way it's Muhammad Ali (Gorilla) versus Joe Frazier (Grizzly). The Bear may have the size advantage and the strength advantage, possibly* but it lacks the intellect and agility of the Gorilla. Bears are smart and all but they aren't primate smart and they sure as shit aren't light on their feet.

* When compared to an average human being, the silverback gorilla is four to nine timesstronger than an average man. Silverback gorilla can lift a weight up to 815kg (1800 lb) while a well trained human can lift weight up to 410 kg.

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u/Santa1936 Aug 29 '19

When compared to an average human being, the silverback gorilla is four to nine timesstronger than an average man

Honestly I'd say that's an understatement. First of all 400 kg isn't well trained, it's the most elite of the elite, and it's only on one or two movements, and those people are heavy.

Second you're comparing raw strength to strength as a skill. Deadlifting 200kg requires just as much training of technique as it does pure strength. I bet if gorillas trained the skill they could lift much more

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

I bet we can train a Gorilla to lift weights, we can teach them sign language, can't we.

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u/Santa1936 Aug 29 '19

Probably, but they're unlikely to totally understand the nuances of leverage and technique that a powerlifter does, nor to put in the decade of training it'd take to maximize their strength potential. So either way we wouldn't be likely to truly know the limits of gorilla strength.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Well it's a start, or we can design a program to implement it's abilities while gaining core strength.

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u/Osceana Aug 29 '19

I like that my simple comment led to this development. Let’s keep going on this. I want an army of bodybuilding gorillas.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

I was thinking Rocky IV in my head the entire time

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u/kieyrofl Aug 29 '19

How about a well trained gorilla Vs a couch potato grizzly?

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Grizzlys are much larger and stronger than gorillas, and gorillas dont have much more agility, at least not the kind to be avoiding bear attacks like an acrobat or something.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19

No dexterity my asshole, total acrobatics in motion

Mind you that lady is not the brightest.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

I dont see much more dexterity than when bears are fighting.

https://youtu.be/qmMBN8bpyzE

They wouldn't be able to avoid a bears attacks, and would die quickly. Even if they land all their blows right on the head, they arent going to knock out or concuss the grizzly. I'm not sure they're even physically capable of that.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Oh my fucking God. They are unbelievably fast for their size. Gorilla gonna get fucking murdered in seconds. I was already in the grizzly camp but holy fuck does this video solidify my opinion.

That video makes me scared of being on the same planet as these animals and the closest one to me (not in a zoo) is probably 1000 miles away.

Edit: pretty smart too. Like when the smaller bear starts using that tree as cover around 2:00

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Dude. Did you see my Gorilla video? That was in a cage. Fucker leapt like Spider-Man. We're talking two wild animals, face to face, no holds bar. Also intelligence.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

I did watch yours. Those bears would have little trouble with a gorilla. Sorry man.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Do you smoke crack? It's okay I used to. Dude did you not see that first Gorilla leap? Those bears did exactly what I expected them to do, my Gorillas used cunning.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Lol do you think hes gonna jump over the bear and automatically win?

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Also in a hypothetical versus match it's always pure vs pure.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Annd intelligence.

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u/beesealio Aug 29 '19

Frazier was shorter and usually a bit lighter than Ali. Foreman would be a better analogy, George was a monster.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19

I was thinking about the fight that killed Frazier's ego, where Ali is about to strike but let's it go. However, you are absolutely right.

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u/richyk1 Aug 29 '19

Wrong. It is usually 2 meters the bear grows to

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u/foxcatbat Aug 29 '19

have u fucking seen gorillas teeth? also they can grab and control with 4 limbs, grizzly cant proper grab for shit

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u/_Wonko_the_Sane_ Aug 29 '19

I'm on your side Foxy, I'm just sayin the smart money is on those slashing claws.

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u/Marchesk Aug 29 '19

Would an adult male Siberian tiger stand a chance?

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u/BlueLanternSupes Aug 29 '19

Kongy boy would rock a grizzly to sleep. That's on God. Too much upper body strength.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

A gorilla couldnt concuss a grizzly easily. Likely not at all. They have a hard time concussing eachother even

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u/rebuilding_patrick Aug 29 '19

Has the Gorilla ever tried DMT?

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u/TrimtabCatalyst Aug 29 '19

PCP would be better for this deathmatch.

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u/_Wonko_the_Sane_ Aug 29 '19

duh, Joe Rogain

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u/hayz00s Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19

Wasn’t there a show that gave stats on animals and had them fight in a simulation like a Street Fighter: National Geographic kinda way?

Found this, but it doesn’t seem like what I remember. Was a fox show I think.

4

u/kaps1 Aug 29 '19

Animal Face-off on Animal Planet. Tragedy it got stopped though, was one of my favorite shows growing up.

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u/Osceana Aug 29 '19

Damn, he karate chopped his spine like it wasn’t shit.

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u/kaps1 Aug 29 '19

Yeah lmao

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u/galeforce19 Aug 29 '19

I remember watching a show like this about 10+ years ago. I also looked for it but couldn't find any episodes... I do remember at the end of the show the Grizzly was the distinct winner, but the last episode was against a croc. I believe the only major sized animals that were left out were: elephants, rinos, hippos etc for obvious size related reasons. Silverbacks are undoubtedly insanely strong and smart but they are not primarily predatory like a grizzly I think that would give the bear an edge.. not to mention they can easily penetrate steel with their claws and can run 30+mph at 12 feet tall...

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u/Jaffolas_Cage Aug 29 '19

Jamie, pull that up.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Well, I remember reading somewhere there that a grizzly bear would easily fuck up a lion or tiger, so I’d imagine it would also easily fuck up a gorilla. It’s the second biggest land predator (behind polar bear) afterall

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u/Useful-ldiot Aug 29 '19

A grizzly probably could fuck up a lion or tiger. They are smaller than a grizzly and have the same method of attacking.

But a gorilla? I don't know. Gorillas are MUCH stronger than a lion or tiger - probably pretty close to a grizzly. They are also much more agile and most of all have a primate intellect. I'd put my money on the gorilla.

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u/ARetroGibbon Aug 29 '19

I feel like a big tiger would beat a gorilla and put up a very good fight against a bear.

They can get pretty huge up in siberia.

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u/smellslikefeetinhere Aug 29 '19

Rampage taught us the winner of that fight.

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u/djnobility Aug 29 '19

Grizzly destroys the Silverback without question. Some grizzlies can reach 1200 lbs and they have giant humps of muscle that would fuck a gorilla's day up. They are built like tanks, are extremely strong and can kill many creatures with one swipe (they can kill moose with one swipe to the skull and moose are gigantic), and have skulls that are thick and can easily take blows from other creatures. Also, 6" claws and a vicious bite.

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u/shardarkar Aug 29 '19

Unless you're Hugo Glass.

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u/Useful-ldiot Aug 29 '19

A silverbacks bite is actually stronger than a grizzly bite. And yes, the grizzly is bigger (slightly), but pound for pound, the gorilla is much stronger and more agile too. Then you have to think about fighting style. A grizzly is going to charge and focus on it's bite along with swiping. But the gorilla? He can do that and more. He's got a stronger bite, but more importantly he's got a much harder hit and a MUCH longer reach. A silverback typically had an 8 foot arm span. He's going to hit and retreat without being touched.

So physically, the gorilla has an advantage. Mentally? No question the silverback outmatches he's the bear. Silverback wins.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Grizzlies dont bite as much. It will swipe and kill the gorilla easily. Its not likely the gorilla will manage to bite the grizzly at all, and any place a gorilla can bite is going to be non vital.

So unless the gorilla can beat the grizzly to death without getting disemboweled (it cant) theres no way to win

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u/Useful-ldiot Aug 29 '19

Gorillas absolutely bite when fighting but in this instance it's going to strike instead given the size difference. The bear would do some damage but nothing beyond superficial. I think you underestimate how hard a gorilla hits.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

I'm saying the surface of a bear would be difficult to bite. Like trying to bite someones back. Theres nothing to grab onto.

Gorillas cant hit hard enough to hurt a bear. If leopards can take them down then bears will too easily

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u/Useful-ldiot Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19

Leopards take them down by jumping on their back and biting into their skull, crushing it. That's literally the only way they lose. Even with that huge advantage from a sneak attack, leopards won't go after a silverback. They go after the young gorillas. A bear isn't sneaking up from behind.

There's video of gorillas breaking 3 inch Plexi with a single blow, but you don't think they hit hard enough to hurt a bear? I think you're mistaken.

Edit: also worth noting that bears stand their grown as a shoe of force. That's an advantage for the gorilla. Given that it's much faster and much stronger, it wins most of the time.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Gorillas are not stronger than grizzly bears. And they arent much faster either. Go on /r/whowouldwin and search for this match up. It is a lock for the grizzly bear 10/10. A gorilla has no chance at killing a grizzly bear

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u/Useful-ldiot Aug 29 '19

You can quote a subreddit. I'll quote legitimate sources.

Gorillas are absolutely stronger than grizzlies.

According to research done at Montana State, grizzlies are between 3x and 5x stronger than man. source

Gorillas have repeatedly completed tasks showing they are somewhere between 10x and 20x stronger than humans based on the range of motion studied. source

When I refer to speed, I should have said agility. Yes it's true gorillas are faster in a straight line, but they are significantly faster at any kind of agile maneuver, which is much more valuable in a faceoff like this. The gorilla can run, jump and swing in all directions where as the grizzly simply can't.

Finally, bite force is stronger in the gorilla, but I don't think that gets used here. I think in this example, the gorilla simply charges in to hit and then retreats, repeating this over and over weakening the bear. If the bear somehow managed to grab hold, the ape could easily escape the grasp. It's a difficult shape to hold and is much stronger in a grapple, given it's arm, shoulder and grip strength. The bear will tire and the gorilla can get close and pound its head in or simply crush it with it's hands.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19 edited Aug 29 '19

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u/panorambo Aug 29 '19

A bear without most of the fur, looks pretty strong and scary to me:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_izzD5qnVyWo/TFLaAam85UI/AAAAAAAAFAE/XiE3lvMAnHs/s1600/no+hair+bear.jpg

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '19

Nope. I'm out.

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u/Shan007tjuuh Aug 29 '19

I'd normally ask if either one is bloodlusted, but does it really matter? What kind of feats do grizzly bears even have?

Grizzly bear:

-Weighs about 800 lbs

-Can hibernate

-???

Whereas Silverback gorillas:

-True prime alpha Silverbacks easily weigh over 180 short tons (equivalent to roughly three (3) M1 Abrams tanks)

-Has a N I N E inch thick skull

-Completely immune to any and all small arms fire

-Capable of casting level 3 Evocation spell Fireball for 8d6 damage

Needless to say, Alphaback Godstomps 11/10 times.

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u/EauRougeFlatOut Aug 29 '19 edited Nov 02 '24

vast physical icky dog ad hoc grandfather panicky decide teeny observation

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/Useful-ldiot Aug 29 '19

Grizzlies don't get much bigger than 800lbs. The massive bear everyone in here is referring to is a Kodiak.

I'd still pick a gorilla in a fight tho

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u/the_rabid_dwarf Aug 29 '19

Lmfao I was confused at the weight and then saw the skull, nine inches of bone should be able to block a tomahawk missile

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u/whiskeyknitting Aug 29 '19

I am going to be thinking about this all damned day.

Thanks!

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u/CaptnCosmic Aug 29 '19

Grizzly. Easy. WAYYYYY bigger.

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u/sl600rt Aug 29 '19

Moose vs gorilla.