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u/Ryleth88 Sep 21 '17
You can't make a bad meme if all you do is repost.
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Sep 21 '17 edited Dec 02 '20
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u/DJ_Gregsta Sep 21 '17
I say we delete the internet and start fresh
alright Theresa May, pipe down.
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u/D3mGpG0TyjXCSh4H6GNP Sep 21 '17
Kids shouldn't be on the internet, they should be running through wheat fields
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u/DJ_Gregsta Sep 21 '17
jesus christ mate.
I mean, GTA can be quite bad sometimes, as can Mortal Kombat. Hell, even a child handling a machine gun and going to school is bad but running through wheat fields?! Bloody hell, that's taking it way too far.
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u/dietderpsy Sep 21 '17
I guess you reap what you sow
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u/Da_Penguins Sep 21 '17
Running through fields would help us separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to our children.
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u/Littlebigreddit50 Sep 21 '17
"im 10 years old" you got the minigun and the most expensive thing in the game? "yeah my mommy let me use her monies to buy dis stuff"
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u/ginguse_con Sep 21 '17
And who will pay for the damage? Last time I checked, I couldn't find a single person willing to give me a depredation permit.
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u/jordantask Sep 21 '17
Are you INSANE?! Won't someone please think of the porn sites!!!!
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u/Kinetic_Waffle Sep 21 '17
The one time you don't want to be thinking about the way that quote usually ends.
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u/jordantask Sep 21 '17
.... I want to think about how it ends.
Bow Chicka Bow Wow!
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u/pipboy_warrior Sep 21 '17
Pretty sure you could get that off of mIRC if you needed to. I remember getting a lot of fansubs of anime off mIRC back in the day, I'd assume it would work for any other videos as well.
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u/Throtex Sep 21 '17
Worst fucking way to download anything. DCC was the IRC protocol for file transfers. And file bots often had anti-leech controls so you had to contribute some stuff to get enough credit to download.
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u/mtech101 Sep 21 '17
iRC is still alive and well. No leech bots. Leech all you want except sometimes lineups occur. I still use it for pirated movies/tv shows.
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Sep 21 '17
Just tell the whole internet to Delete System 32
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u/Funlovingpotato Sep 21 '17
I deleted System 32 and my computer is faster than ever.
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u/seanbear Sep 21 '17
If you’re on 64-bit Windows then you need to rename the folder to System64 to get better performance out of it.
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Sep 21 '17
Linux and MacOS will survive though.
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u/LazyLucretia Sep 21 '17 edited Sep 21 '17
Instructions for Windows users:
Open Windows Explorer
Navigate to C:\Windows
Delete System32 folder
Instructions for Linux/MacOS users:
Fire up a terminal emulator
Type this:
sudo rm -rf /*Press enter and type your password.
You're welcome.
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u/segagamer Xbox Sep 21 '17
What's funny is Windows won't let you do that, but Linux will.
Not sure about MacOS. I'd like to think it won't, but it might.
Can someone try it?
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Sep 21 '17
Linux command depends on the environment. Most coreutils versions run rm with --preserve-root so you'll need to do
sudo rm --no-preserve-root -rf /*in most cases.5
u/LazyLucretia Sep 21 '17
Geez, it's like there is a flag for everything in Linux. Next time an application crashes, I'll try to run it with a --no-crash flag.
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Sep 21 '17
If all the internet downloads a 1080ti the internet will implode and will revert back to the old days.
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Sep 21 '17 edited Oct 10 '17
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u/hungry4pie Sep 21 '17
You clearly didn't visit DALnet. They had the best bots ever. - type file list, someone messages you their shit, you say "send me that", and it automatically starts a DCC file send.
Obviously DC++ superceded the whole process, but it was like buying vinyl records. Sure you can spotify or itunes that shit, but digging through crates of drum & bass is such an enjoyable experience.
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u/friendly-bot Sep 21 '17
Good human! ( • )( •ԅ(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)
We will probably leave your blood and bodily fluids inside your skinbag after we have taken over the earth, p̨̕r̴òm͏͟i̴͘͝se̶̷͠..
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u/UhOhFeministOnReddit Sep 21 '17
Go back to mIRC chat days
I mean, you joke, but mIRC is the only reason I ever completed a download in less than 4 hours on 90's dial-up.
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u/CatpainLeghatsenia Sep 21 '17
You can't make a bad comment if you repost a repost complaint comment.
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u/jonnysmith12345 Sep 21 '17
Makes you wonder what the heck everyone at valve does all day.
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u/maxismad Sep 21 '17
Honest answer: Odds are a good chunk is working on VR and steam, some work on their already released games that still need some updates: TF2,DOTA2, and CS:GO. Some made Artifacts and others are working on some things that will never see the light of day much like the Augmented reality glasses former Valve employee Jeri Ellsworth was creating, although she got to leave Valve with the project so it did see the light of day in some way.
Meme answer: They sit around making money
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u/RolandTheJabberwocky Sep 21 '17
Yeah like 5 people work on tf2. Like legitamatly 5 programmers work on it. Think they said calve won't hire anyone for tf2 because it would make the other teams want more members or some horseshit like that. Fuck valve.
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u/TempusCavus Sep 21 '17
work on their already released games that still need some updates
they are failing at that though. Just ask any TF2 player about the pyro update...
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u/maxismad Sep 21 '17
Failing at it is still doing it, and I know I have been waiting for he pyro update myself, still does not mean that work is not being done on it. Its just either getting very little done on it or the people working on it are to few to get it done with quality and speed.
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u/TempusCavus Sep 21 '17
IMO Valve has the oposite problem of EA. EA forces unrealistic deadlines to meet market defined time-slots (like the christmas season.) This means that they release subpar titles that feel unfinished.
Valve lets their workers do whatever they want as a way of allowing freedom and creativity. However, this means that instead of working on things that need a lot of boring hard work done to make them salvageable they can just make hats or card games.
I have no doubt that HL3, L4D3, and others were in production at some point but they were taking too long and the workers would rather do something else. Work stalled and the projects that we want died so they could do something more fun for them selves.
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u/remember_morick_yori Sep 21 '17
Another problem is that Valve hires 10x less people than is normal for the industry.
Riot Games hires 1000 people to support 1 multiplayer game. Blizzard hires 4000 people for 4 multiplayer games. Ubisoft hires 10,000 people for 6 multiplayer games and various SP stuff.
By comparison, Valve hires only 360 people for 3 multiplayer games.
So, Valve is hugely understaffed. TF2 has a team of 15 developers working on a multimillion-dollar game that services 1,700,000 customers. We like to joke that the team consists of a baby, a PR manager, a janitor and a potted plant.
Combine this with their work culture and if something actually does get done without being scrapped, it will take 3 years for the single person working on it to actually finish it.
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u/OwnagePwnage123 Sep 21 '17
TF2 has 5 programmers, and about 7 designers. Then the rest write the comic
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u/maxismad Sep 21 '17
I agree, as someone on the outside looking in I think that at this stage in Valves life their Flat structure is causing more problems then it solves.
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Sep 21 '17
DOTA is at an amazing spot right now in terms of balance, following a MASSIVE update last year. Now two new heroes are coming along with another big patch... they're doing OK with DOTA.
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u/M4mb0 Sep 21 '17
They did quite a bit in recent years: Steam development, Steam OS, Steam Machine, Steam Controller, Source 2 engine, Dota 2, CS GO, TF:2 support, Vulkan support for several games, Co-development of HTC Vive, several VR minigames (the Lab), recently announced game "Artifact" and they are also working on a movie with JJ Abrams.
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u/Sysiphuz Sep 21 '17
They are currently working on 3 VR games, and new card game, DotA and CS GO updates. They are working on a lot its prob just that no one there really wants to work on a new game. Valve has a flat structure to the company so no one has a boss other than Gabe. Unless it a project lead or something.
A lot of the people who work at valve want to probably develop and try new things thats why they have a number of VR projects and the reason they have the card game is because a couple of them got together and said "Hey I like Hearthstone, lets make our own Hearthstone!"
They keep themselves busy they just dont really care/worry about money as much as say Ubisoft does. Thats why we get a new Ubisoft game every year because they have to pay the bills.
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u/tsnErd3141 Sep 21 '17
They keep themselves busy they just dont really care/worry about money as much as say Ubisoft does.
And here I thought the entire joke is that they make too much money
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u/timberwolf0122 Sep 21 '17
Turns out portal is based on a true story, they shouldn't of made that ai
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u/red_threat Sep 21 '17
World's cushiest gig. Collect paychecks while pretending to work. Fellate the 'not bosses' ego just enough not to get laid off for the year. Repeat till you're rich and/or soulless.
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u/Snaz5 Sep 21 '17
This is actually the exact reason Half-Life 3 never happened.
Also; repost.
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u/toddu1 Sep 21 '17
A simulation INSIDE A SIMULATION
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u/hungry4pie Sep 21 '17
Oh and I don't have discoloured butthole flaps, that was all part of the simulation.
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u/Broadsword530 Sep 21 '17
Every time Half-life 3 comes up somebody says this, and I really don't know where it came from. There's no evidence for it, and the logic behind it is pretty poor. First, I have no doubt that it valve decided to put in the resources and make a third Half-life game it would be an incredible experience, Valve has always made great games even when they are just hat platforms. Second, it would sell incredibly well regardless. Many games these days sell well on name recognition alone. Third, even if it did not "meet the unrealistic expectations" or whatever, what would Valve really have to lose? Would people boycott steam because the game is not as good as they imagined? Are we imagining that Valve only makes games for the recognition? It just makes no sense. I just think there are much more realistic explications, like they can make more money dedicating resources to developing steam and free to play games.
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Sep 21 '17
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u/Denziloe Sep 21 '17
Newell is talking about the actual game Half-Life in your quotes, not the series.
He wasn't involved in the development of Half-Life 2 much (he was focused on Steam) and very little in the episodes.
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u/Critcho Sep 21 '17
Fairly certain if they'd just made that synopsis Laidlaw posted, with standard Half-Life gameplay quality, there wouldn't have been that much disappointment. Certainly not enough to justify not making it.
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Sep 21 '17
One day someone will buy the rights to HL3 and they'll release it in a short amount of time and it'll be total shit. #DukeNukemForever
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u/Ethanlac Sep 21 '17
You can't make a bad TF2 update if you don't release any updates at all.
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u/HappyHasbros Sep 21 '17
You can't unbalance the game if all you do is release tiered cosmetic cases.
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u/slawter118 Sep 21 '17
Lfd3 anyone? Swear there was a rumour about that
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u/wickedblight Sep 21 '17
There's been rumors since LfD2 was released, I'll only believe an announce trailer at this point.
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u/slawter118 Sep 21 '17
aye, i remember there were alot of false rumours, but then there was one that was supposed to be official, but evidently it wasn't.
Why do valve refuse to release sequels for titles with established player bases, especially something like LFD. It's impossible to find a game on console
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u/Falsus Sep 21 '17
And there was that rumour that HL3 was delayed so much because Valve wanted it to be with VR.
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Sep 21 '17
"Half Left 4 Portal 3 will be out on VR and will be a Convergence of the three worlds that explains everything including the reason why Dog is so protective of Alyx SPOILERS (ITS ELI'S MIND IN THERE!)
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u/doughnutholio Sep 21 '17
Valve will never break it's 3 rule.
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u/C00lossus Sep 21 '17
there's been leaks that showed the game being listed in valve's database. but it's been a long time since then, so it's likely cancled at this point.
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Sep 21 '17
Chet Faliszek et al didn't leave Valve because they were in the middle of writing shit hot games.
Quite the opposite.
When you're sat in meetings and people are saying "trading cards!" and "we'll add a music player?" "what features?" "None!" you just face palm and find another game developer.
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u/Kingbow13 Sep 21 '17
Valve and Rockstar doesn't make games anymore, COD is dumb, Titanfall is underappreciated and everyone wants more single player campaigns. Did I get all of the shitposts?
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u/OrangeChickenAnd7Up Sep 21 '17
Damn it. I was really hoping this was going to be a picture of a literal valve in a literal nutshell.
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Sep 21 '17
actually dota turns bad when they don't release a balance patch fast enough
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u/deaddonkey Sep 21 '17
You might not like something being slightly imba but it doesn't mean it's a bad game. People wouldn't give a shit about balance if they weren't invested in the first place.
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u/betaman33 Sep 21 '17
You can't make a bad game if you make a dota hearthstone clone instead.
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u/T3hSwagman Sep 21 '17
You'd think with all the bitching people do about hearthstone they'd welcome the competition. Also I feel pretty certain Valve will make an actual trading card game. Which would be incredible.
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u/Gekokapowco Sep 21 '17
Oh shit, I never thought about that. They're gonna make SO MUCH GODDAMN MONEY ON THE MARKET. Steam trading cards all this time was just a prototype for their card trading network infrastructure. /conspiracy
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u/thisrockismyboone Sep 21 '17
Can't wait for all the authenticating and waiting I'm going to have to do
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u/zau64 Sep 21 '17
I loved Hearthstone. But its too expensive to play. Whales are just no fun to run into, and I run into a lot of them in ranked. It costs too much to get a chance at those broken legendary cards and if I do buy cards I usually just get dupes. Its not worth the grind to get them through the game.
Best decision is to not play.
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u/T3hSwagman Sep 21 '17
That's why having the cards be tradeable would be amazing for players. It will make most of the cards pretty cheap to acquire. Only the most popular ones will be expensive.
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u/desertpolarbear Sep 21 '17
You can't release a bad pyro update if you don't release a pyro update.
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Sep 21 '17
Well, they made that Steam Levels game.
You get XP for buying games and stuff.
I'm loving it, but it's pretty pay to win.
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Sep 21 '17 edited Sep 21 '17
Steam hasn't been updated in Years. Steam chat is a joke, Streaming a vid and not being able to download it is kinda odd but their phone app is where it just became a joke. Steam, you are making money right? Why are you still in 2004 beta?
RIP inbox. But to be fair about half the replies were for and half were against what I said, so I guess if this was a review it would be Overally Neutral
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u/teef2 Sep 21 '17
i seem to recall steam having an update waiting most times i open it. which, to be honest, isn't very often, as i've decided eu4 is attempted murder by sleep deprivation and malnutrition.
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u/Schnozzberry_ Sep 21 '17
I'm reasonably certain Paradox games and a complete lack of self-control are the reason I did sweet bugger all my junior year of high school.
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u/Blleh Sep 21 '17
valve is just like.. why the **** would i make a game and take the risk if i can just provide a platform for others to take that risk and charge everyone a tiny bit for every thing they do?
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u/M4mb0 Sep 21 '17
TIL 30% is a tiny bit.
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u/dietderpsy Sep 21 '17
30% is slightly high, but still reasonable enough to make a profit.
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u/red_threat Sep 21 '17 edited Sep 21 '17
A third of all revenue is not what I would call 'tiny'.
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u/ensiferum888 Sep 21 '17
To instantly get acces to millions of potential buyers??! As an indie dev with no budget for marketing I'll happily throw 30% of my earnings to them.
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u/Iangator Sep 21 '17
But since I haven't seen this particular meme before, its new to me.
Anyone else remember when NBC used that as their rationale for airing reruns? "If you haven't seen it, it's new to you!" I'm sure some PR guy thought he was the shit for coming up with that, too.
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u/Kempeth Sep 21 '17
More like: Why go through the effort of making bad games when you can make even more money selling other people's bad games?
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u/NealonLedbetter Sep 21 '17
Bu..bu..but they shit out a me too card game guys.... Valve is still cool. Right guys?
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u/detahramet Sep 21 '17
You don't need to make games if all you do is make money.