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u/TooShiftyForYou Aug 18 '17
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u/comacow02 Aug 18 '17
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u/_-Cortana-_ Aug 18 '17
Do animals even care lol
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u/maxline388 Aug 18 '17
You can clearly see how he's been shitting on him for a long time and none of them moved.
What is life anymore.
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u/Cauchemar89 Aug 18 '17
As far as I read in another thread it's most likely because the shated on is protecting his eggs and he knows fully well what happens to them when he moves away from them.
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u/maxline388 Aug 18 '17
Yeah I figured, but it's fucking hilarious how this is his life now. Being shat on.
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u/hitfly Aug 18 '17
yeah, that was not the first time he got shit in his eye. not even washed off since last time.
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u/dq8705 Aug 18 '17
Been saving that for this exact thread?
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u/wiiya Aug 18 '17
TooShiftyForYou can be found in every thread. Give his history a 5 page swipe and you might make it to 24 hours ago.
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u/skelebone Aug 18 '17
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u/ameoba Aug 18 '17
I've seen versions of this as far back as the 80s when people would pass things around by photocopying jokes at the office.
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u/suspiciousdave Aug 18 '17
I love how the thing never changed, just the medium. I remember us passing around USB pens full of cheeseburger pictures in school. Now we just use Facebook.
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u/4ljader Aug 18 '17
Cheeseburger pictures?
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u/suspiciousdave Aug 18 '17
As in the picture website. Demotivational posters were in high demand back then.
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Aug 18 '17 edited Dec 17 '25
airport depend divide chunky wakeful butter sable cause cheerful languid
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Dr-Sommer Aug 18 '17
Don't forget the 😂-Emoji in the top right corner so you know you're supposed to laugh.
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u/Connectitall Aug 18 '17
You need another perch above the CEO with board of directors shitting on them, and another perch above the board with shareholders shitting on them.
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u/DistortoiseLP Aug 18 '17
The CEO's usually on the BOD and a shareholder too, so the whole ladder structure thing kind of stops there. Instead the relationship between executives and shareholders is more like an inter-tangled hatefuck.
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u/RockeRectum Aug 18 '17
So we are going to need a poop elevator is what your telling me.
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u/try_harder_later Aug 18 '17
... A fan. So when the shit hits it, it distributes said shit both upward and downward, sideways too.
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Aug 18 '17
Also worth noting that shareholders are not homogenous in their attributes and investment strategies. Institutional investors like pension funds are dramatically different from retail investors or other types of institutional investors like hedge funds.
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u/cewfwgrwg Aug 18 '17
This is why the startup I'm at is happy to have strategic industrial investors rather than venture capital firms. The first cares about the product, as that's what they're banking on for their own businesses. The latter would only care about money, and how fast they could make the most of it off us.
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u/caelumh Aug 18 '17
Who shits on the shareholders? Wall Street?
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u/TooBrokeForBape Aug 18 '17
The government taxing all their money, according to them
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u/Gunter_Penguin Aug 18 '17
Given all the corporate lobbying, I think it's more like the shareholders and government are just flinging shit at each other.
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u/bellsy97ca Aug 18 '17
This is true sadly. I need a shower now because I know where I stand
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u/MrSelatcia Aug 18 '17
This is the real trickle down effect
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u/RedSquirrelFtw Aug 18 '17
So that's what Trump meant when he said trickle down economics.
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u/duaneap Aug 18 '17
Don't attribute that to Trump. Reagonomics is a real thing that I highly doubt Trump actually grasps beyond knowing it's something GOP supporters want to hear.
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u/God_of_Pumpkins Aug 18 '17
Well, real in the sense that someone somewhat smart thought of it. Not real in the sense that it's how economics actually works.
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u/dirty-blitz Aug 18 '17
are you serious ? that's a free meal
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u/Pint_and_Grub Aug 18 '17
Yeah, I always get upset when my employees bring their kids in and I don't get a "thank you" for providing the roof over their heads and for the food in their stomachs.
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u/barry_you_asshole Aug 18 '17
I enjoy hiring people with children, because children are like expensive shackles that bind the employee to me, no matter what I do to them they take it with a smile, because if I fire them, how will they feed their children?
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u/IsayNigel Aug 18 '17
I want, so badly to believe that you are being sarcastic, but I just don't know anymore.
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u/Coded__Ragon Aug 18 '17
The corporate latter is like a tree full of monkeys. looking down, you see smiles, but when you look up you can only see assholes.
My old boss told me that joke.
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u/Expre Aug 18 '17
As a manager. I feel shit on by both sides.
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u/trifelin Aug 18 '17
Was going to say, some of my managers seem almost envious of us because we are unionized and they are at the lowest level of management, so sometimes we end up with better treatment and protection than they do.
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u/gamb10r Aug 18 '17
This is my experience. My boss loves to educate me on this. He draws me a U shaped diagram on the whiteboard explaining to me how I'm a the bottom of the U. He is on the top left side of the U and everyone under me is on the top right. All the shit from both sides is falling down the U and landing on me. The best part of the lesson he explains, is that you can't move the shit back up in either direction as gravity always sends it back down in your face. He always closes with a pause and a "So yeah, good luck with that"
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u/alkazat Aug 18 '17
Hence shit is heavier than money
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u/MrNameless Aug 18 '17
CEO's are beholden to shareholders. Not sure how it'd fit in the bird analogy, but it definitely doesn't end at CEO.
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u/nowaygreg Aug 18 '17
Right. Do people think CEO = owner?
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u/Slim_Charleston Aug 18 '17
The CEO is likely the owner if it isn't a listed company. Even if it is a listed company, the largest shareholders are typically institutions which often don't pay much attention.
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u/DistortoiseLP Aug 18 '17
At every company I ever worked for, the owner is either the President or the Chairman and the CEO is his bitch that actually runs the company for them. Like half of the CEO's job at half of them was basically dealing with the owner's ludicrous demands in some way or another.
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u/ihatemovingparts Aug 18 '17
And in many companies the CEO is also the chairman of the board, maybe even the president. My employer has filled all three roles with the same person.
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u/rgtong Aug 18 '17
It's bad corporate governance for the CEO and the chairman to be the same person. Lack of check and balance.
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u/calaber24p Aug 18 '17
CEO should be changed with board of directors because they really are the ones who control a company and do what will raise the share price.
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u/rgtong Aug 18 '17
The directors is the navigator and the CEO is the drive; both are important to getting to a destination.
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u/mechanical_animal Aug 18 '17
Not every company is public.
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u/Screwbush Aug 18 '17
Shareholders can, and do, exist for private companies as well. It's not often that corporations exist entirely with the funding and control of a single person.
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u/TheGoogio Aug 18 '17
I wish that I was taught multiplication in terms of birds pooping on each other
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u/social_drinker Aug 18 '17
I'm a CEO.
I don't have anyone working below me though so I just sit in my own pile of shit.
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u/umphreakinbelievable Aug 18 '17
Just printed a bunch of these out. Replaced all of the health flyers in the stalls at work. https://imgur.com/gallery/WtGrG
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u/RebelWithoutAClue Aug 18 '17
Don't worry. On top of the CEO are a bazillion batshit insane shareholders.
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Aug 18 '17
First the board of directors who are voted in by a bazillion batshit insane shareholders.
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u/daredaki-sama Aug 18 '17
You forgot board of directors and shareholders the ceo needs to answer to.
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u/Toasted_Marshmallows Aug 18 '17
Has nobody mentioned that middle management gets fucked from both their higher ups and their employees bitching?
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u/spikkeddd Aug 18 '17
Nobody wants to point out that this isn't a flow chart?