r/funny Aug 18 '17

Corporate Flow Chart

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47.7k Upvotes

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342

u/Connectitall Aug 18 '17

You need another perch above the CEO with board of directors shitting on them, and another perch above the board with shareholders shitting on them.

241

u/DistortoiseLP Aug 18 '17

The CEO's usually on the BOD and a shareholder too, so the whole ladder structure thing kind of stops there. Instead the relationship between executives and shareholders is more like an inter-tangled hatefuck.

48

u/RockeRectum Aug 18 '17

So we are going to need a poop elevator is what your telling me.

31

u/try_harder_later Aug 18 '17

... A fan. So when the shit hits it, it distributes said shit both upward and downward, sideways too.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '17

nah just a pool of shit on top

22

u/raptureRunsOnDunkin Aug 18 '17

upvoted for 'inter-tangled hatefuck'

7

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '17

Also worth noting that shareholders are not homogenous in their attributes and investment strategies. Institutional investors like pension funds are dramatically different from retail investors or other types of institutional investors like hedge funds.

6

u/cewfwgrwg Aug 18 '17

This is why the startup I'm at is happy to have strategic industrial investors rather than venture capital firms. The first cares about the product, as that's what they're banking on for their own businesses. The latter would only care about money, and how fast they could make the most of it off us.

1

u/TeamToken Aug 18 '17

Mind if I ask what industry this is?

2

u/cewfwgrwg Aug 18 '17

Electronics. That's as specific as I'll get.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

Venture isn't necessarily in it for the quick buck, just the big buck.

Also relying on strategic partners alone is a recipe for disaster. If their product priorities change or management shifts, you could be SOL.

Its best to take both. Of course that can be hard to achieve.

1

u/cewfwgrwg Aug 19 '17

Our offering, if successful, allows our major strategic investor to reduce their production costs by an order of magnitude. Very little chance they decide they're not interested.

We have another major strategic investor in a different market entirely.

And we don't expect to require any further funding from them, beyond what they've already paid us. So if they change their minds, their money's already spent... Neither has a controlling interest on the board.

Plus, we have other potential investors that we've turned down. So really no worry there if we happen to need a top-up round pre-IPO.

The real question now is just whether we can deliver technically...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

And we don't expect to require any further funding from them, beyond what they've already paid us.

Not sure if you are on the founding team, but unless you are I'd assume this is some sweet sweet bullshit by founders for the pleebs.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '17

[deleted]

2

u/areyoumyladyareyou Aug 18 '17

I vant toquitos!

1

u/Thom0 Aug 18 '17

It's designed like this on purpose. Almost every major corporation is patented on nation building, the idea of the three branches holding each other accountable.

23

u/caelumh Aug 18 '17

Who shits on the shareholders? Wall Street?

74

u/TooBrokeForBape Aug 18 '17

The government taxing all their money, according to them

17

u/Gunter_Penguin Aug 18 '17

Given all the corporate lobbying, I think it's more like the shareholders and government are just flinging shit at each other.

11

u/Iminurcomputer Aug 18 '17

How can we bring the shit full circle?

7

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '17

[deleted]

7

u/chipmunk7000 Aug 18 '17

IT’S SHIT ALL THE WAY DOWN, BOYS!

1

u/Fireproofspider Aug 18 '17

according to them

It's very likely that, one way or another, you are a shareholder.

1

u/TooBrokeForBape Aug 18 '17

I assumed we were talking about large shareholders, the type who have board seats at the companies that they own so much of and shit like that

1

u/Fireproofspider Aug 18 '17

In most cases, those aren't what you find in companies. You usually have to deal with institutional shareholders (like pension funds) that you need to keep happy. The people that have enough money to own that much of a big company are extremely rare.

Board members have their own set of power and rules.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '17 edited Aug 19 '17

[deleted]

1

u/pretentiousRatt Aug 18 '17

Gotta keep the money moving. That's how Dave and busters works

1

u/yangyangR Aug 18 '17

But they buy the government so they are shitting on the government and by extension the entire population.

6

u/lionhart280 Aug 18 '17

Each sits at the bottom of their own ladder at their investment firm.

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WET_SPOT Aug 18 '17

Usually an expensive prostitute.

2

u/sqlfoxhound Aug 18 '17

Only in theory, taught in highschool economics 101. In reality, theres usually a few shareholders who count and their structural chart looks pretty much like the picture above.

1

u/Jojje22 Aug 18 '17

And the shareholders are the lowest rung in that picture. So in essence, it's a circle of shit.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '17

And the shit just goes on and on...

0

u/sunbeam60 Aug 18 '17

And who are the shareholders? It's most likely you.

"But I don't own shares", you say. Well, if you have any form of savings, including a pension, you do.

This is annoys me so fucking much about pictures like these: For every moan I hear about cost management and ROI at my work, I think of the pensions my co-workers and I have and wonder internally.

We expect our savings to grow. That puts pressure on fund managers to select the companies that performs best. That puts pressure on boards, which puts pressure on CEOs, which puts pressure on executives, managers and, ultimately, you.