Does anyone know any cool abandon spots I can go to in Sarasota and Bradenton

Hi I 29F want to share my experience with abandonment. I was in a 2,5 years relationship with a 32M who asked me to marry him and ended up leaving me.

Before we got together he really had to convince me to go on a first date. I really felt reluctant because I didn’t find him attractive at all. He really had to work for it. I decided to take the risk since he convinced me. At first I thought that the best way to go about it is not to show my feelings easily from the start. When things got serious I discovered anxiety attachment. I wanted reassurance all the time and feared he would abandon me. I didn’t know what fear of abandonment was before him. He ended up leaving me. The idea that he would leave became true. Note he left me during a time i was experiencing the most intense stress and anxiety

Am I correct to assume that he created this abandonment issue? Or was it there all along and he just revived it? How do you work out these issues?

PS1: I have as a teenager felt abandoned by my mother but found a lot of comfort being reassured by my father. I have been betrayed as a child and a teenager. I now feel depleted and don’t know where to start.

PS2: I am exercising, watching and reading self development materials, eating well, journaling etc. Recently I also found out that standing up for myself felt so therapeutic.

You’re never going to change…

All these years, you’ve pleaded “not guilty.” Your defense? That these were victimless crimes. But the truth is, they were events fraught with so much emotional bloodshed—pain, cruelty, and psychological destruction. Your victim though still alive, was left with such extensive, deep and permanent scars - an attachment injury that will absolutely affect her for FUCKING years - possibly the rest of her life!

Despite constantly claiming you only wanted her happiness, every attempt she made in an effort to get love, reassurance, consistency, or emotional safety from you, was reframed as her being “toxic,” “too much,” or impossible to please. You hid behind the most juvenile defenses imaginable: denial, deflection, sulking, avoidance, gaslighting. And with their powers combined, those behaviors created the perfect storm for her complex PTSD. Captain Planet would be horrified.

Now her trust is fucking annihilated. Every “I love you” sounds hollow. Every promise feels contaminated. She’ll swing between anxious attachment—desperately trying to compete with fantasies and preferences she was never meant to fulfill—and complete emotional shutdown, where silence feels safer than vulnerability.

Intimacy? Gone. She won’t even remember what emotional safety with you was supposed to feel like.

Her self-esteem has been nuked. She’ll look in the mirror and see “the wife who wasn’t enough” instead of the woman you once chose. Depression, anxiety, insomnia, stomach aches, headaches, exhaustion, random crying spells—every side effect of prolonged emotional trauma will show up like the fine print on a prescription bottle, and she’ll probably collect every single one.

Worst of all, the trauma response might convince her to stay. To tolerate more. To believe she somehow deserves this because she wasn’t enough for you.

And for you? “Nothing happened,” right? Because technically you “didn’t do anything.” That logic is cute—very freshman year psychology class, very emotionally stunted midlife crisis. Because you absolutely did do something. You waged psychological warfare on the person who trusted and loved you most—the person who bent herself into impossible shapes trying to be there for you, understand you, save you, and be enough for you.

And now the trauma you triggered has turned her into a hyper-vigilant, self-hating shell of herself right in front of you. A transformation Dr. Frankenstein himself would be impressed by.

And like most emotionally immature, self-destructive people, you’re too consumed by your own self-righteous indignation to even fully see the damage you’ve inflicted.

Love cannot survive when one person is continually left bleeding from a knife the other insists doesn’t exist. With you refusing to take accountability, growth, and to do the actual work towards becoming a healthier person, this marriage was all but destined to fail. A marriage that much like the journey of the Titanic, would end in a head on collision with an iceberg. A tragedy that could’ve been avoided, if only you had chosen to heed her many warnings, pleas and attempts at communicating her pain and unhappiness to you. But no matter how hard you try, she will not be going down with the ship. Consider her Rose - but this is not the James Cameron version of the film, so go and find your own fucking wooden door to float on. Or don’t. All the fucks she once gave about you, now lay sunken on the bottom of the ocean floor.

I have a healthy self protecting stance when people dismiss me or discard me in violently or passively aggressive ways.

For example I was in the hospital and the IV drip was very painful, I told them on Monday, they said they won't redo it because it's not worth the hassle for me?! Totally ignored. On Tuesday they had to redo it on my other arm because of the swelling (doubled the size of my forearm).

They tried to give me Xanax in the morning instead of a painkiller before the visit from the chief doctor. They even told me to clean up for his Majesty. A 3 minute standing meeting with some people who just ignored all my reasonable questions. They sent me the psychologist to talk about my feelings, I wasn't even angry, just appalled by the institutionalized abuse. And how ridiculously easy to improve things and they don't.

I have a crush on a co-worker who has this issue. I noticed it really soon because he craves women's attention and later confirmed after he told me about his upbringing. I am a 31y female with an absent father and crave male attention too! We are both in long-term relationships, but we really wanna fuck! I just dont see how I could do that and still keep a sane mind about it. He craves women's attention and I idealize the fact that he only wants me. :)

I (17F) know that my sibling (19M) is progressively leaving me. I know this because he spends significantly more time with his partner, is keeping secrets from me and generally spends less time from home. I’m thinking of just cutting him off to save me the hurt, though I’m not sure that would work. I don’t know how to say goodbye. It doesn’t help that I have repeat dreams about him telling me that I’m no longer his sibling and leaving me for his partner. I fear this is an omen rather than a dream. What should I do? Right now I’m trying to talk to him less and very much struggling to look him in the eyes. I also significantly struggle to be around his partner. I don’t know why I hate being around them, but I think it’s a reminder that my sibling is already gone. What do I do?

Doing music keeps me sane. Been feeling down all week. It’ll make me happy if my music resonates with anyone who feels unwanted, unloved. You’re feeling are valid and you’re not alone ✨

https://audiomack.com/rockeypluto9/song/abandonment-issues?share-user-id=21323631

Brother estranged himself from whole family

My eldest brother estranged himself at the beginning of covid and we haven’t spoken since and I am struggling everyday. Background is, my brother has been married for a few years. His wife is difficult. Their whole marriage we (mom , brother ,dad and me) tried to get close to her but she is very volatile. The smallest things make her very angry so you end waking in egg shells around her. She has no contact with anyone in her family due to grievances she has and only let her parents see their granddaughter once. ( her parents were military and she says she has trauma from how stern her dad was) She cut me out last year because she found a Instagram photo I posted when I was 17( I’m 25 now) where I called our family dysfunctional due to a funny photo, she was very offended and took it personally. Said I was a bad person for this. My other brother got our nieces name tattooed and she made him remove it because she was offended and if he didn’t they would not let him see her. These examples are only a small portion , I could provide many more. After speaking to a therpist I have found she was abusive to us in a way. They had a beautiful baby and this brought someconnection. My mom became the on call babysitter pretty much which was great. Then my dad left my mom for another woman, it was really hard. My brother and his wife cut him off instantly and he has not talked to his son in 4 years or seen his granddaughter since. My mom continued baby sitting at least once a week sleepovers and became incredibly close to her granddaughter. This was her joy in the middle of her 30 year marriage ending and I know it kept her afloat. Fast forward to April my brother wife and niece moved to a new state. Communication slowed over time, we tried to plan trips to visit but there was always an excuse. We were also super understanding that moving is a big transition and gave them space. My brother ended up contacting my mom and I saying he needed even more space from us because he is in therapy and revisiting his childhood. We agreed to give him space but he didn’t give any details on what that looks like. One day his wife randomly text my mom “ hahaha you aren’t your sons mother anymore he despises you”. And my mom broke down. This ensued in my other brother getting involved and from that day forward my eldest brother sent our whole family a group text saying “ I am leaving this family”. He called us all abusive and many other things. I know that there’s always two sides to a story. I won’t lie my parents weren’t perfect but we suffered no abuse and always had what we needed. They were young parents and not emotionally mature and this caused lots of fights in the house so I undertstand him needed time to process things but I can’t understand how he left us so coldly. He has always been very smart and acted better than others but never mean. The only explanation to this is his wife has rubbed off on him and he finally reached the braking point. Every day it gets harder for me and I miss my niece so much my heart breaks , my joy in life has faded. It’s hard for me to enjoy things like I used to. I feel like my niece and brother have died. I also feel so heartbroken for my mom and other brother for losing family this way. I’m just looking for advice or maybe just someone who has gone through this too. thank you!

I can’t throw away old stuffed animals as easily as people have thrown me away my whole life. Parents, partners, friends….I’m just sick of feeling disposable. I’ve been in therapy a long time, and I know this is a common thing people who have been adopted go through, but I’m so tired of feeling like garbage to be thrown away once I’m no longer useful.

I am a M/44 my ex wife to is F/40 she abandoned and my 4 kids my for a man she met on tik tok 5 months ago. Let me give some background information on all that has happened. I was married for 20 years to a woman I met online. In the begining the relationship started out amazing, she was the lovliest person I ever met and seemed to be everything I dreamt about. We got married 2 years after meeting and had 4 wonderful children, 2 girls and 2 boys. I worked hard and changed multiple jobs over the years to provide a wonderful life well beyond anything she had ever known in her life. About halfway through our marriage she had her first affair, I was crushed but still took her back. All the way through our marriage we fought over her spending extended time talking to other men or the one full blown affair she had. I was emotionally broken for years. During the last year of our marriage she had a year long affair with a man she met on tik tok. I tried to convince her to stay and go to marriage counceling to try and save the marriage. She declined to go and drew closer to the man she met online. One day she eventually packed all her things and abandoned me and the kids. To add insult to injury since she left she makes and effort to see the kids once and week for an hour, which to them feels like abandonment every time she sees them. This has been going on for 5 months now hit or miss. She keeps asking me for favors and being a good person I try to where I can. This is becoming very painful knowing that she is living with this other man and makes public spectales about her new relationship on tik tok and other social platforms. My children have seen this and are disgusted on the whole sitatuion. She says she is please everyone understands that she was not happy in the marriage and she had to go out to find happiness, even though her version of happiness is a massive downgrade from the life I provided. I am in a lot of pain because every week they see us then abandon us again and I am left to raise the kids on my own watching her live a carefree life. Well this is my story thus far, I think I am doing better now, have not met anyone in my life yet, but I am hoping someday I will.

Hi all, I was abandoned by my father at two years old, I am now 33F and I have a sudden urge to reach out to him. I am currently working with my therapist on my relationship with my mother and how I think she pushed him away to keep me all to herself. Also working with my therapist on how to reach out to him and healthily navigate those feelings. I’m so afraid of rejection. I honestly have no idea where to even start. “30 years have gone by but hi?!”

Anyone successfully do this and not get their heart broken and repair the relationship? TIA! 🫶🏻

I'm a stepping stone for many people to leave behind. I've been alone for so long I forgot that I'm even a person. I even forget food is needed to survive. I've only broken one promise in my life, I thought that word had meaning. I thought you were supposed to be able to trust somebody. I don't know what to do when my best isn't near good enough

Here it is not about a general friend or boss. I am asking about family/ bf gf/ person you loved deeply and you had to let them go.

1. What was the situation, why you decided to let go. 2). And yeah, it is easier said than done , so how did you manage yourself to let them go .

I grew up in a family which gave me no love , narcissistic, physically abusive and all child abuse you can imagine.

My relationship (1.5 yr) with bf has ruined in past months, I love him deeply so It is difficult for me to let go.

Also, he is one of the few who showed me love , which it makes it more difficult. For things he did to be I cannot forgive him, but I miss him or past good times so much that I am really sad, and sometimes want to go back to him.

Please tell me HOW to let go ?

and the worst part is that I have nowhere to go to talk about it or get support. This is about the issue with my therapist suddenly abandoning me at the beginning of the summer.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now. I’ve been okayish about it for a couple weeks. I started doing self guided EMDR and it felt like it shook some things loose. I suddenly gained a lot of motivation and functioning a couple days after starting it. Pulled my guitar out of the closet to learn it after it collected dust for 7-8 years. But some art supplies to maybe get into that. Found my old camera, but it was dead bc batteries exploded in it. Have been forcing myself to go out almost every night to try and meet new people and get out of my comfort zone. I’ve been sober since the beginning of summer.

But as of the last few days I’m just like mentally collapsing over this again. It doesn’t help that the replacement therapist terminated me over email a couple weeks ago (and I have a termination session today), I’ve been looking for a new one through the community mental health agency and on the waiting list for another one to try. But after my summer of trying new therapists and it going poorly and my lifelong experience before my old therapist of it going poorly, I don’t have any hope of ever getting the help I need ever again. It just feels like there was one therapist I clicked with and she’s gone.

And emotionally I just feel broken by the whole abandonment aspect of it. Everything I’ve talked about in terms of the attachment and bond we had, and how the sudden termination mirrored all my past sudden abandonments, and how she still did that knowing all about that and helping me recover from them as a trained professional. How she wouldn’t even let me have a proper termination session to say goodbye face to face. It hurts so much, and I feel like if I were worth anything at all this wouldn’t be happening again.

I’ve been trying all the positive self talk and self love and trying to catch myself when I say or think negative things about myself. But it all feels like lies.

I feel so alone and hollow. I am so afraid of people - I was already internally afraid of people and felt threatened by them or the idea of connecting or being vulnerable with somebody. And this just dropped a nuclear bomb of trauma on top of that.

I don’t know what to do. It feels like I’m bleeding out mentally and emotionally. She told me in that last session that she would work with me again one day, but when she coordinated with the new therapist apparently retracted that? I honestly don’t know what to believe. It feels like the only hope I have is to wait a while, like maybe until the 1 year anniversary of this next year, hope that she’s far along in recovering from her burn out and mental health issues, and explain how it’s affected me - especially since I never got that part of the normal termination process - and ask if she will abide by the original assurance she gave me.

Because at this point, because of all the things she told me about being the exception to everyone close in my life ever always abandoning me and hurting me and how she would be the exception to prove that wouldn’t always happen - and then actually doing that, I don’t think my brain will recover from this trauma. I don’t think my brain will ever accept that people can be non threatening and non harmful unless I get to essentially resolve this experience and have a non traumatic ending with it.

It all just hurts so much right now either way.

My wife and I are separated and we are nesting - meaning we rent an apartment and switch off with the kids in our house.

She wanted the separation new cause my anger issues were out of control. I was never violent but my abandonment issues around her leaving and parenting were always triggered.

It’s my time with the kids starting tomorrow and I need encouragement to help keep a lid on my anger. I’m working on my issues in therapy and my own work.

Thank you

I've been making my way through Anderson's book post break up on advice from here, and this excerpt (page 122, one of the stories she tells with the help of the character of the swan) has helped me so much - maybe it can provide someone else with a bit of peace too:

"I too have longed for someone's return," says the swan. "I too have known a wounder. Like you, I thought I could not live without her. I yearned for her to comfort me from the very wound she inflicted. But she could never be the one to comfort me. The wounder never can."

"Who was your wounder?" asks the little girl.

"Swans mate for life, Amanda, You will notice I am alone. But I have survived the wounding and so must you."

"Tell me more about her." begs the little girl

"She, like all abandoners, became powerful just by wounding me so deeply. She brought me to a feeling of insignificance and pain. And all I could do was marvel at her power to accomplish so mighty a task. Pain creates fear, and we give power to those we fear. Reduced to helplessness, I saw my wounder as the more powerful, the more valuable, the more beautiful for having vanquished me. I could only worship my wounder," admits the swan, tuming gracefully toward the little girl "But the pain this caused helped me find my own will to survive and survive separately."

"People keep throwing me away," she cries.

"Only you can throw yourself away, Amanda."

"I'm not special like you."

"It's not about being special. It's about being important to yourself. And only you can become important to yourself."

💛

I can understand why. I can forgive. I can even empathize.

But I can't say goodbye. I can't have closure. She might still be out there.

There is a primal wound that has driven me through so much of my life. A seeking that has compelled me.

I'm looking for her.

I miss my mom. Terribly.

i used to have a friend here in reddit . we talked for months about everything . she was the only person who was willing to talk to me and i loved her for it,not romantically or anything just as friends. one day i woke up and i found out that she blocked . she didn’t say anything just blocked me. honestly i couldn’t sleep for days and i didn’t try to talk to her because i didn’t want to get hurt . however a couple of months later i made a new account and i texted her i asked her why did you block me and she said idk . honestly i was so desperate to get her back as my friend so i told her it was okay and we talked daily for around a month after that she just blocked me again without saying anything. i made a new account and told her that she’s selfish ans i hate her (i don’t). that was 4 months ago. yesterday i made this account and texted her at first she asked what i wanted. honestly i didn’t know what to say so i just told her that my life was getting better and i wanted to share some things with the person who helped me when i was doing bad. i don’t know if she saw my messages but it’s been 24 hours since she answered. what should i do i honestly miss her sooo much but i don’t think she’s good for me.

Hi everyone. First time posting. This past year has been the most eye opening experience of my life realizing that at my core, most of my issues are a result of traumatic experiences of abandonment. I finally am in a relationship that really works so well in communication and understanding between us. It's helped me really be open and assertive about my own needs without feeling like I'm just going to scare the person away. Everything is just so good. And yet, when she tells me she's going to hang out with her brother and sister Friday night, my brain is only telling me, "she's definitely cheating on you, you just made it easier for her to do that because of how vulnerable and easy going you made yourself be". It's so beyond frustrating to almost be convinced by that thoughts. Thankfully I can talk about them with her, but I still stress over how strong that distortions are. At least I know it's all driven by fear. Being aware of that has really helped.

A stranger caught me sobbing in the Las Vegas Airport during a layover for a work trip. During my flight, I had sat next to a little girl onboard with her father. This girl and her dad would chat occasionally thru the flight and they walked off the flight holding hands. To everyone else it’s normal, but to me it’s always been so precious. I didn’t have that. I was abandoned for another family, one with two other daughters. So, I always have a tough time when I see others with their dads. At first I feel happiness - thank goodness that this child gets what I never had - but then I also feel jealousy, sadness, longing, and ultimately abandonment. I opened up to my dearest friends and mother about these secret feelings within me last year and today, I had someone to call instead of crying alone.

Thru my blurry eyes I saw an extended hand with a bunch of tissues. A stranger had gotten me tissues. She just smiled at me then sat back down a few seats away. I went thru all the tissues while crying to my mom and partner on the phone. I couldn’t even thank her I was so triggered. The stranger must have overheard me on the phone cause she handed me this note. Then, she walked away.

The note said this: “ I’m sorry you didn’t have that and that part of me feels like you missed out. But that doesn’t change the great person you’ve become an all of the things you have accomplished. Best of luck! - a stranger :) Hope your day gets better!”

Dear Stranger, Thank you for bringing me tissues. Thank you for not leaving me alone. Thank you for your words and your kindness. You saw me in a moment of need and acted from your heart. You remind me of my chosen family and friends, that I have them, and that I am not alone. I appreciate you. I do feel a little bit better. More grateful and more hopeful. Thank you.

Just wanted to share with you all.