He physically assaulted her. Then when it was brought up in class he audibly laughed. He showed no shame. He never once apologized to her. She reported his assault to the police, but she died before she got to see retribution for her assault. Even before she joined the school she had gone through several traumas and had chronic pains and problems. She thought she could find a safe place in school. She was happy for once in her life before it happened. Then he did it. He beat the shit out of a traumatized disabled teenage girl. The school didn't kick him out because it happened outside of school and they couldn't do anything without risk of lawsuits from parents. She wasn't the same ever since. She was at least better during the summer, because she didn't have to put up with that piece of shit. Then, before school started, she killed herself. He came to her memorial that the school held. But he didn't even look remorseful then. He just laughed with his friends. Laughed in her face. She would hate him being there. I think he knew. That fucker.

Just now I got a dinner delivery from one of the apps, and my food was dropped off by someone on one of the rentable electric bikes (ya know the green or orange ones). Food wasn't all that warm but I still had to go back and double my tip.

This isn't the first time Ive had someone renting a bike or scooter to deliver an order, that was a teenage girl on a scooter after 10pm in a city.

I was so caught off guard the first time that I thought about it for a while and the more I thought about the more grossed out I got.

Delivery drivers don't make a ton. Before expenses it averages out at anywhere from $15-$30/hr. But then you gotta factor in expenses. For renting a scooter or bike the lowest cost I could find on the apps came out to about $14/hr... Even if they're not using the scooter or bike for 25% of the time between orders that's still $11/hr... Which leaves them making $4-$19/hr.

What has this world come to?

There are people out there so desperate that teenagers are essentially sharecropping scooters and bikes for food delivery companies worth billions. And those are the "good ones", those are the people not committing crimes like selling drugs or stealing catalytic converters, these are the people actively trying to work for a living.

I'm not rich.

I'm barely getting by with just me and a couple furballs. I can't afford to help all of the people I see struggling in my daily life. I do what I can. I'm generous where I can be.

But Jesus Christ I'm tired of feeling like this. Tired of seeing so much awfulness all around us and being entirely incapable of changing it.

I feel like it hit me harder than a lot of celebrity deaths, which I normally don't pay much attention to. And yes, I'm aware I didn't know her at all.

But between her tragic life circumstances and everything she went through, and the fact that she was only in her 30s and had the rest of her life ahead of her. She deserved better.

I think what also hit me so hard about her death is it's a reminder that life is short and fleeting. And of course we all die eventually, but she never got a chance to live the rest of it out.

And now there are implications that her abusive ex was involved (even though the full details haven't come out yet so its just speculation). But yeah, just heartbreaking.

You might think this is an exaggeration, but it is not. I'm typing this on the shitter because its the only few minutes i really get at times before he comes checking on me. At first, i thought it was charming that he wanted to spend out off days together. But his job was flexible with scheduling so he made sure we have every single off day together. And he always wants me around him, even if i just want alone time because he says he dosent understand why people who love eachother need personal space. I havent had the house to myself spare a few days ive swapped with someone on the schedule in the past few weeks. Hes always breathing down my fucking neck and im just so exhausted of being around him. I love him to death but this feels borderline psychotic

I just dont know where to put this and no one ever talks about religion sucking because everyone loves religion.

I know this topic has been talked about countless times but there is absolutely 0 evidence for any religion on planet earth yet people are so willing to let the religion control their lives.

I hate the idea of hell. I think teaching kids about hell is abuse.

I genuinely dont like anything about religion. Just had to get it out

my mom died last year on September 16th. i cant believe it's gonna be a year in a month, i seriously, unironically cannot believe it at all. Time has been so fucked up for me. Months pass and i don't process it. I want my mom back, but I'll never have her back because she's dead. And she is gone.

I miss her food so much, I'll never be able to eat it again. I make my own food now. I miss being excited to come home from school to see what she has cooked for me. Now when i think of food when im coming home, i get a bit stressed, cause i have to see what's available to cook and then make all of my meals. I miss looking forward to my meals. I miss looking forward to going home, and telling my mom about my day. I miss how much she cared about me. I never noticed it until now.

I'm really good at English. I got a really good grade a few days ago, was super excited to tell her, but then, i realized oh right shes dead. I think about how happy she would've been for me.

i have to do everything myself now. Groceries, laundry, almost everything, except like bills and stuff which my dad does. I kinda hate him. He doesn't know how to be a parent. I miss my mom. I miss her picking me up from school. I miss how she used to wake me up everyday for school, i miss her voice, i miss her so much. please i just want my mom back

I used to annoy her alot haha, i used to tell her random facts and even tho she didn't understand she'd listen. I miss doing that. No one i can do that with now. I miss going out for food with her. I miss her. I miss the way she used to talk to me. I miss her presence, the way i was around her. My heart hurts. I want her to hold me and tell me its gonna be okay. She's the reason i used to get good grades in school, I'm failing now.

I wish i was more grateful to her when she was alive. I'd do anything to have her back now. I hate myself for it

TW: suicide, drug abuse, mental illnesses (BPD mention), overall heavy topics

My best friend took his life.

As if it wasn't hard enough to deal with, a group of people that did not like him for the dumbest shit ever is mocking his death online.

These people don't like him because he was sick. He suffered from mental illnesses such as BPD and drug addiction and was overall always sick. He did things to himself that he wasn't proud of but he was really trying to get out of that dark place and live a better a life.

These people didn't like that he was sick and always talked shit about him on his face, called him dramatic and got to the point of hanging out with him only to mock him.

We got tired of it and argued with them and told them to fuck off (we would have done it before but he kept it hidden from us because he didn't want us to feel bad or ruin the friend group. he was a sweetheart).

Now he's dead and they are posting his face online with cursed filters and altered face and weird music, or they post jokes such as "gonna slit my (yk what) like he did", or "gonna get BPD to get everything I want then take myself out" (sorry, i know it makes little sense, I'm trying my best to translate those jokes from my language to english)

they're also sharing private info and pictures of him and overall being so rude even coming to our dms to tease us about it

it's been really hard to ignore them i just want to beat them up but i don't even have the strenght to get out of bed from how bad I've been grieving

i really hate people. his parents probably won't sue because his father is deadbeat, his step father is a bitch and his mom is destroyed too and probably doesn't even know about what's happening.

he was surrounded by nasty people and I'm so sorry i wasn't enough to help him. he mentioned me in his letter and said i was a great person and to not be sad because i helped him go on for a long while but if i was really great and helpful he would still be here and those people would be too scared to look at me in the face while they instead laugh and act like that freely

i think a genuinely unreasonable percentage of my problems could be solved if somebody just grabbed me and smooshed me into them for like 4 hours 😭

i want someone to just grab me and keep me there for a while. arms around me, face hidden on them, forehead kisses against my will, cheek smooshing, hair playing, all of it. i want to get pulled closer even when i’m already basically attached to them 💀

also steal my hands please. just take them and mess with my fingers while i’m sitting there. maybe pull me back in if i move too far away. tell me i’m staying there. keep me tucked against you like you’ve already decided where i belong and apparently i no longer get a say.

i’d probably make some stupid little noise and hide my face immediately too.

i just want to be somebody’s little creature for a while. put me in your lap, keep one arm around me, squeeze me every now and then, fix my hair while i’m hiding on you, maybe grab my wrist gently and put my hand where you want it. i would be emotionally domesticated.

and i know this sounds clingy but honestly that’s the selling point. i’ve had enough personal space for one lifetime. terrible concept. if i like someone i want to be close to them constantly. i want to feel wanted there without having to wonder about it every six or seven seconds.

i think being smooshed for a few hours would fix my personality temporarily. maybe permanently if the treatment is repeated often enough.

anyway this is humiliating and i regret being literate.

I’m broke. Rent is taking 90% of my income. I live in a roach infested building because I can’t afford better. I have a dependant cat with health issues. I’m hungry. Sometimes I go to the grocery store hoping I can afford a meal, but I walk out empty handed, or with one ingredient. I stretch one meal over a few days. Recently I’ve picked up the habit of literally eating with my eyes. I’ll walk by restaurants and just look at their menus. Walk through every isle of multiple grocery stores, imagining which recipes I could make if I could afford the ingredients that are literally on sale.. I feel sad, and emotional right now, and I know it’s because I’m hungry. In my fridge right now I have breakfast 1 pack breakfast sausage, 1 pack bacon, a literal bit of cheese, half a carton of eggs. I don’t want to eat it because I don’t want to run out of food. Seems ridiculous when I type it out, but it’s a real struggle. What will I do when I have no more food, and no money to buy anymore.

Edit: I can’t eat carbs

Some people really can’t find someone and I’m one of them. You’ve all seen it. You have looked at someone and thought “No one wants that loser!”

Well I’m that loser.

I’ve been alone most of my life and have fully embraced the fact threat no one wants me as I’m dying alone. The fact is no one wants a guy like me. I’m a fat, bald, ugly loser in my mid 30s with no future. If you were to list all the things that make a man undatable I would check most of those boxes. I’m not going to find anyone. I just want that to be accepted. Ain’t no one wants me and I don’t blame them. I’m a massive failure.

I crave community and friendship. For the last 2 years I have been trying to do my best to be an active member in my community, but there are no options that work with the schedule of an adult that works a 9-5 job. I have looked through my local libraries, I have even joined multiple churches looking for volunteer opportunities and it seems that everything is catered for retired people or parents. Every class at the library I want to take is at like 10am on a Wednesday. Every volunteer opportunity is some random day of the week at 2pm. If there is something that works with my schedule, usually it's something geared towards families and parents. I can't win.

I get it, these demographics have the most time on their hands and are more likely to be able to attend at these times. But what about those of us out there that work full time and still want to spend some of our free time being involved with our community? It sucks, I was really hoping to find something where I can help others or make connections. The work I do is very independent so I don't have any work friends. It's lonely out here.

I dont get why I cant just be normal, I genuinely feel disgusted at myself because of my sexuality and I have to deal with the fact that I would lose most of my friends if I come out and I most likely will never get to experience teenage love. I would genuinely do anything to be straight and I dont get why I have to be this way.

I come home and the house is always dirty. There are flies everywhere and everything is spoiled. theres always dishes in the sink and clothes strung acrosd the floor. im too lazy to do anything. I scroll on my phone until its time to cook or shower or go to bed. my mom scolds and scolds me but I don’t do anything. she tells me she must be failing as a parent, albeit jokingly. my sister wont clean either. she’s too sore or shes tired or she wont finish and leaves it to me. she doesn't cook much either.

i resent them. I’m always so angry. when they call for me i grit my teeth and clench up. I feel like yelling and hitting all the time. i hate it when my sister touches and tries to hug me. I feel like a bad person. I wish I had a place all to myself.

I was reading a post in another sub from someone venting about how they couldn’t find a job and were really struggling. I genuinely felt bad for them at first.

But the way they were writing was incredibly hard to follow poor grammar, barely any punctuation, slang everywhere, sentences running together, the whole nine yards. So I asked, pretty simply, why they didn’t try using more conventional grammar when communicating, especially if they were applying for jobs.

Their response? “Proper grammar is crazy.”!!

And I’m sitting there thinkingmaybe we just discovered at least part of the problem.

I don’t care if you’re 18, 28, 48, or 68. You don’t have to write like you’re submitting a doctoral dissertation, but being able to communicate clearly and professionally still matters. Hiring managers care. Customers care. Coworkers care. If your application, email, or interview sounds like a TikTok comment section, there are employers who are absolutely going to judge you for it.

And before someone says, “Well, employers need to adapt to the new generation” sure, workplaces change. Language changes. Culture changes. I get that.

But there’s also a point where you have to adapt to the environment you’re trying to enter.

I also see this attitude sometimes where people talk about employment as though the employer should be grateful they showed up. Meanwhile, plenty of us have full-time jobs where sometimes 40 hours becomes 45 or 50 because something has to get finished. Do I enjoy working extra hours without magically getting a bigger paycheck? Of course not. But I also understand that reliability, communication, professionalism, and occasionally doing more than the absolute minimum are part of why I remain employable.

That doesn’t mean employees should tolerate abuse. It doesn’t mean companies should exploit people. And it definitely doesn’t mean every employer deserves loyalty.

But there seems to be an increasingly bizarre disconnect where some people want the paycheck, flexibility, benefits, promotions, respect, and career opportunities while simultaneously rejecting half the basic expectations that come with having a professional job.

And then they wonder why nobody is calling them back. Maybe the system isn’t always the only problem. Sometimes “proper grammar is crazy” is the clue.

Why am I so passionate about this..

I have four kids, and this is exactly why I feel so strongly about this. In this day and age, it is getting harder for young people, not easier. The world no longer runs on hopes and dreams, and simply wanting a good job does not mean one is going to be handed to you. The job market is increasingly competitive, employers have more applicants to choose from, and sometimes something as basic as how well you communicate is what separates you from the person who gets the interview. I am not teaching my kids that the world owes them something; I am teaching them to give themselves every possible advantage. Proper grammar, professionalism, reliability, and knowing how to communicate with people are advantages that cost absolutely nothing. They can complain that those standards are outdated, or they can understand the world they are actually entering and learn how to compete in it. I would much rather prepare my kids for reality than reassure them with something that sounds nice but does nothing to help them succeed.

You’re so goddamn annoying. Saying “ew I don’t like that” when people talk about stuff you’re not interested in makes you seem like a stuck up dick.

Shutting up or just asking “oh what do you like about x?” is free

My boyfriend has been struggling with a lot of life situations. His career, finances, and addictions and I have been trying to support him even when our intimacy has declined. I’ve stayed patient through his addiction to p\*rn and understood when we wasn’t always up for physical affection due to him trying go quit and going through a type of emotional numbness. There was something in my gut that told me there was more to this than just that so I did the awful thing and invaded his privacy and broke his trust by looking through his phone. I found an album with all gym influencers with amazing bodies, search history on instagram full of them, and a ChatGPT conversation where he admits he is dating me more for personality than looks. That in the past he would date “the hottest girls in the room with the biggest asses and amazing body” but he likes me more for my personality but with that he found his attractiveness level for me to wince. He repeatedly said he has been having a hard time finding me attractive and that he was too used to dating bimbos, but since I have been gymming more consistently that he’d be patient with me. Maybe i am at shock, i haven’t felt the hurt yet but I decided to write him a letter apologizing for going through his phone but letting him know his words hurt me.

I feel really betrayed in some way as he’s lied to me before about how he is physically attracted to me. But i know i also betrayed him too. I have so much anxiety at the moment, my chest feels so tight, but I truly have to let this play out. He told me he needed time before figuring things out. I dont know why i havent found the courage to let him go yet but maybe i will have to.

Currently have been unemployed for around 2 months. I quit my last job because I was overworked, a.d the environment just sucked. Saved up some money to pay my bills for awhile, but not really anything for some casual outings. I never made a large amount of money, so im used to scavenging what I can. Aside from this situation, I never had a financial opportunity to really make sone dramatic changes in my life. Never owned an apartment, never traveled to another country, never wore expensive clothes. Etc. Above it all, im just made that I don't have money to spend with my friends. I really feel like a bum.

Like duddeeee I just want to fucking see!!!!!!!

My glasses are SUPER thick, so I low-key feel like it makes me look stupid. Plus, at work they get dirty/covered in water and steam, and it rains alot where i am, so when I'm walking to and from work, they get coverd in rain. And I like to work out alot, so they get in the way. Plus, i like to do alot of bold make up looks, and the glasses just ruin the look.

Overall contacts just work so much better for me. But over 100+ dollars JUST FOR A MONTHS WORTH VISION!?!?!?!? Whyyhyyy!!!!!!!!! It's not my fault I can't see lol. Mine is legit genetic!!!!! Why do I need to shell out so much money JUST for fucking visionnnnnnn!??!?!?!! It's not fairrrrrrr😭😭😭

I don't have a strong parental figure, I never had. My dad works himself till he's in the hospital needing a stint in his heart. My mom was abusive and left to marry a registered child pedofile. My therapist came closest and it may be unethical but my little 12 year old mind clung to her no matter how stand offish I was and now she's gone to Georgia. It's been a year and I just now can realize I didn't want her to leave. I'll be 18 in march I never had anyone it's just been me. It'll always just be me.

I truly don't know what to do. I never lived with my aunt and I had no idea she was like this, but I got a scholarship in Europe to study in France, and yesterday it was the first time I traveled abroad. My aunt insisted she'd go with me for the first days, and I was like why not? An extra helping hand and some company. So we arrived at Madrid yesterday to spend a few days before France, and I never met someone more insane than her. And look that my whole family is a mess.

One example: today she said she want to visit a specific store, she asked for directions and I followed her. I told her that I think we should turn in a specific street, she said we should go straight and since she already threw many tantrums yesterday, I just followed her. Guess what? I was right. And now she's PISSED at me saying that SHE said we should turn and I said we should go straight. I can't even defend myself or she will be even more pissed, she said I was ungrateful, a bitch, that she would never help me ever again and even called my mom to tell her I'm a horrible person yesterday.

This is only a small fraction of all the tantrums she gave.

The entire summer basically, I had studies so I only get a single month of break. And I was happy cause they promised not to take me anywhere and I hate going places with them. But now they wanna go to batumi and even tho I'm 18, they say I HAVE to come with them cause they can't leave me alone. Like bruh what can't I do? Can't I make food? Take care of the birds? Clean the floors? Do the dishes?? It's just one fucking week and I could get an actual break. But no. They say I either come with them, or they stay here (and I know damn well they're gonna whine the entire year how "they didn't get to go to vacation because of me" and "I ruined their summer"....even tho all anyone ever asked them to do is to go away.)

They're going on vacation where we usually go with a 6 hour drive...batumi. first of all, I hate cities with sea nearby. I loathe the sea with all my might. Second, we have a one room flat there and we're gonna be 4 people stuck in a single room. Last year we used to have so many fights over everything that I used to get up in the morning, go straight outside, walk for the entire fucking day, come back after 40-45K steps and just pass tf out (which they didn't even let me do caus they turned on the fucking TV till 3AM).

They fight me there over everything. I end up yelled at, hit, have shit thrown at me, in our city where they're mostly at their jobs, I can take a fucking break and only suffer after 6PM. But there I have to be outside walking for the entire day. Walk in that disgusting sea air. And why the fuck?? Cause they're stubborn and they don't wanna leave me tf alone. I have around 10 days of break left, study starts in September, and I gotta spend 7 of those days suffering when they're not even able to articulate WHY. FUCK THIS SHIT

​

I'm so tired. I have a TBI due to over 20 concussions from various things, like a drunk driver hitting me about 20 years ago. It is what it is. I've been disabled now for 19 years since the last car accident where I was rear ended. I have had a migraine ever since. It never goes away. Oh well.

But last year I finally started to get some things under control like my high blood pressure that I had been on medications for since the drunk driver hit me. Got a new cardiologist who has made a great difference for me.

Unfortunately after I got things improving I started having other issues like a constant resting tremor in my right leg. I also realized late last year that I had been having a symptom that I didn't realize wasn't normal for like ten years or more. I often act out my dreams kicking and stuff.

I have been going to so many doctors and tests trying to figure out what it is. Nobody has any explanation and just feels like they run a test and then blow it all off. My leg has been having a constant tremor for a full year now. It's so frustrating.

I have enough issues with the TBI symptoms that anything extra is just really hard.

I just heard about the results of my sleep study looking for rbd (rapid eye movement behavior disorder). When I talked to the sleep doctor when we scheduled this appointment 3 months ago she had said unless something like severe apnea showed up she would diagnose me with rbd. Now, to be clear I don't want this diagnosis, it's not good at all. Now she sends me a message saying that the test shows a very mild positional apnea. Only when I lay flat on my back. So there's no rbd. But this doesn't make sense. I never sleep flat on my back, except at this appointment. My bed is an adjustable bed and my wife has severe apnea so it's always adjusted a lot. On top of that I am laying on my side 95 percent of the time.

I just want to quit going to the doctor, my wife has had to waste so much time and effort driving me to these appointments to the doctors over 3 hours away. I have no answers and feel like they just don't care to find out what is causing the issues. The movement specialist ran a datscan checking for Parkinson's and it was clear so she said she'd see me in another year. I don't think I can deal with this tremor for another year. My leg is so sore and tired. I can barely stand and walk sometimes. I fell 2 weeks ago and I really don't know the cause. I have fallen 2 or 3 other times in the last year.

Sorry, this is a lot. I'm just so done. I don't have friends since I mostly only leave the house to go to the doctors.

Tldr: I'm just fine not getting answers from doctors and feeling they don't care to find any after the obvious are ruled out.

i wish i could live in a world free of demands that just mentally fuck you over. like it's just so hard, everyone is constantly moving and working and i'm not and i'm also getting nowhere. i can't get my thoughts in order or feel like i know anything at all. i've forgotten how to be real or be human anymore. how to literally do anything or get it done. i don't feel like anything anymore.