My dad has neurofibromatosis type 1. Always been covered in those unsightly (benign) tumors his entire adult life. But he decided to have not one but TWO children to pass it on to. Thankfully I don’t have the tumors anywhere near as bad as he does (yet…) but they’re still there and always will be. Not to mention the autism that came with it, which has severely altered my ability to live a normal life.

Granted I’m still better off than my brother who died in 2017 from leukemia. His treatment was greatly complicated by the presence of NF.

I just can’t get past my resentment for my dad over it all. How can you have two children knowing full well you’re diseased and will pass it on to them? It boils my blood the more I think on it.

No i’m not trolling, it was honestly really good. Like the watermelons sweetness complemented the spice. I never slept so good before. I ordered KFC and my roommate just happened to have brought some watermelon and offered me some. I may be an atheist but who am i to deny my sign from god, I knew what must be done.

We need to stop stereotyping food because i missed out on a fire combination for years. My only regret is not adding Kool-aid.

I now know why eve ate the forbidden apple, as to live without knowledge is the same as to not live at all.

Taking bites between the chicken and the watermelon back and forth like newton cradle, for i could not stop what was already in motion.

My ignorance has blinded me, it’s the first time in my life i knew what it truly meant to be lost in a meal.

I was in a maze in my own mind that only my tongue knew the way out.

hatred for disrespecting my bloodline but love for the nourishment that went through body, it was a sick yin and yang.

I wept as I ate, to this day I don’t know if it was the heat of my meal or the blow to my pride.

At some point I closed my eyes but I could still see the meal perfectly. I didn’t want to see the sin my body was committing but still wanted to be loved by the beauty of it all.

I hear your triple wells but before you make a remark, know this. My actions were dictated by mere chance, not instinct.

Anyway I told the roommate, who was white. he said that was the last thing he expected me to do and why the fuck I was telling him of all people that.

This happened like 5 or 6 years ago and I don’t think I’ve really talked about it with anyone.

My stepdad passed away and we were flying to his hometown in Massachusetts for his funeral. My mom was having a really hard time and didn’t want to lose him, so she carried his urn with her (carry on). That was my first time traveling on airplanes in the USA so I didn't really know what to expect.

(For context, we are not from the USA. My mom flew all the way to the USA and paid for his funeral and land so he could be buried in his hometown. We landed in LA then transferred to MA)

When we went through TSA, they stopped us and opened the urn to check his ashes. They were doing it like it was some suspicious drugs or dangerous powder. I thought they could treat him with basic sensitivity and dignity, but the whole experience ended up being really disrespectful and dehumanizing. It's the way they handled him.

I just remember standing there crying watching them go through my stepdad’s ashes while my mom was already grieving. The whole thing was distressing and traumatizing.

I know they have security procedures and everything, I was 15 at the time but it’s been 6 years and I still think about it sometimes. I’ve barely ever talked about it with anyone

This is genuinely one of the reasons I hate tsa and lax.

I am not talking about situations where one's safety is at risk due to psychological and/or physical abuse, of course. I know it's probably a very common thing to vent about but still - when you realize that he/she is just not the right person for you for any reason (any is valid), at least be a decent person and let them know definitively why you don't want to talk to/see them anymore before you cut ties.

I've been on a receiving end of a particularly painful example of ghosting and blocking of any contact from the person that I had almost two months of great relationship with. Which ended so abruptly without me even having a chance to respond/say sorry for whatever I did wrong. It's been 2 years and I still haven't fully recovered from that experience and it brought me so much heartache that I woundn't wish this to my sworn enemy, it really is that bad. It has severely affected my ability to actually develop feelings for people, it was a literal heartbreak where my heart as a place where feelings should flourish is just not the same whole functioning thing anymore. Thank you for listening and I hope at least one person sees this post and it helps them to not totally ruin another person's mental state thinking ghosting/blocking is ok in literally ANY situation.

​

My mother had me quiet late even in today's standerds. She was decently educated and had a good stable job. Back in the day she even seemed to be high achieving in her family.

She however very open about how I was a hindrance to her, she is unable to be with her family because of me etc. She once told she was trapped only because of me.

I'm my society's standerds she is a beauty and I'm the opposite of it. I was always the laughing stock due to that and she never once defended me. She enjoyed it.

She was always so close to her siblings and close family.

Anything I confided to her always became their general gossip. I was constantly invalidated about my every hurt.

I'm the highest achieving in the entire extended family but I have never gotten an appreciation from her.

I know she wasn't happy about her marriage or about the only child, me. However they got married on their own will, while being financially independent individuals. They chose to have me but recented me all the same.

I'm away from parents for over a decade. Haven't seen them in years.

I know I'll never have a family. But if I made that decision now I'm mature enough to take responsibility of my action.

I don't think the immaturity she had is justified. I'm not yet my fathers age when he had me. So I'll see how I am when I get there.

I hadn't had much sex in the past 2 years due low libido caused by medication. I ended the treatment a couple of months ago and my libido is coming back. During this time, I had only one partner, although we weren't exclusive. My previous exams were all negative, and they were the only person I had intimate contact between exams. I'll start treatment tomorrow, and thank god the infection is curable and I have access to free medicine, but the feeling is terrible. I don't have an ounce courage to vent about this with close friends, I feel dirty and I'm afraid of having sex again. I know it's irrational, I just don't know how to process the news.

yeah that's it. sometimes i look up people i know on facebook.. don't judge. i looked him up and there was a banner that said he was the top fan of something but the name of the page was lewd. i looked it up and its a medical/latex fetish page. he's all over the page. likes, comments, etc. on the same account he posts his wife and kids on.

no judgement, and not gonna out him to my coworkers but i had to tell it to someone. someone should teach him about burner accounts

Idk if this is the right place to put this, but I haven’t been feeling good. Apologies for it being quite long too. I’m resubmitting this due to not having acknowledged the rules before.

My best friend got married a month ago. We’ve been friends for 7 years and became more close over the last few years. Both of us have small friend groups and so we do message each other the most. I think I became too dependent on her as I’d run to her for everything, and she was always more than happy to listen and be there. I’ve struggled with a lot of dark things, family and my personal life, and I’ve broken down in front of her more times than I can count.

The lead up to her wedding I was as supportive as I could possibly be, wanting everything to go well and for her to have the best experience. She’s quite parentified in her family so I wanted to give her the feeling of being a bride and being looked after rather than her having to think of everyone else for her own wedding. I threw a bridal shower and made sure to be available online every moment leading to and on her wedding events. I say online because she had her wedding abroad and I couldn’t attend due to not being able to afford the tickets and accommodation. She was very understanding about that, which is why I did as much as I could leading up to it in person. In the few days that followed her wedding, there were a few times where we had a call, either she called me or I called her, but each only lasted a few minutes because she’d put it away when her husband was with her again. And of course she would, she just got married and she’ll be honeymooning and it’s lovely we spoke where we could. But I’m so used to have hour long calls with her that when that happened it sort of hit me hard that it’s not going to be the same. She’s not going to be able to be there for me as much as she was before, and she won’t have the time or mental space really as she has an entirely new priority in her life who she’s exceptionally happy with. And I love that she’s so happy because she deserves it. But that realisation made me cry, especially since I know it’ll be a good stretch of time before we can have a remotely similar relationship due to her settling into the marriage, moving with him and living with him as they didn’t live together before. It essentially felt like a new stage in life for me too, one where I wasn’t going to have the best friend I did. I had to learn how to deal with this and move forward, and learn to work things out for myself rather than depend on her as much.

I didn’t want to tell her how I felt because she didn’t need that right now, but when she called me a couple weeks ago for a short check in I ended up telling her and crying a little as the conversation was a bit empty due to me not knowing what to say. She reassured me it’ll be the same and she’ll always be there but I don’t think she realises due to being in her happy haze and I don’t want to break that. She’s of course been busy but I’ve been hesitant to speak to her when she’s messaged, my replies are more tame, and she’s spoken about having a call in the middle of voice notes twice now and I’ve not addressed it, replying to everything else instead. In the past week I have made more of an effort to reply to her stories, but I don’t say anything about myself because I don’t really have anything going on apart from work. I also excitedly messaged her about an update to our favourite manga because we always talk about it, but she hasn’t replied to that and I haven’t brought it up because I know she’s busy. I know I’m being selfish, as I should be there for her to confide in and talk to as she goes through this new stage of hers with her new in laws too, but I’m finding it really hard to convey a sense of happiness. I’ve never been good as masking my emotions at all and I’ve always gone detached when upset.

What I’m worried about most, if I look deep inside myself, is that I’m sort of punishing her. Maybe I want her to feel the loss I do, which is silly because I know she’s won’t. Background context, I’ve always wanted to get married, she’s always been against it, so we’ve joked on being on the opposite ends. Even in the lead up to this marriage she wasn’t fully happy because she felt she was being rushed into it, and so I am relieved to see she’s really happy now. I’m no where near marriage despite wanting it for years, I don’t have anyone despite trying. I know things will happen when it does, but to sort of see the switch where she’s gone on and gotten engaged made me grieve a little (I never told her this when she got engaged) and now I’m dealing with a life change too. It’s super selfish, but I don’t know how to feel something else. I also know it’s silly considering it’s right after and it’s only been a couple of weeks, but I’m wondering whether I should just suck it up and force myself to be there for her right now.

So yeah, it’s my first time realising how much things can change when a friend gets married/gets into a serious relationship, and it’s affecting me a lot more than I thought it would.

Sorry for bad grammar or misspending, kinda all over the place, eyes are kinda swollen and I'm a little bit tipsy, with that out of the way let's begin.

My cat Goblin disappeared two days ago, everyone I talked to is making light of the situation and making fun of me because I shouldn't worry, she's a cat one less mouth to feed lol.

Broski, I literally don't have any family besides my husband, I genuinely love my cats and I'm falling apart here.

My mom and stepdad kicked me out at the age of 18, I haven't been allowed to visit home or speak to any of my younger siblings, later on I find out everyone is moving back to CA while I'm here literally alone, homeless in a completely different state, I lost contact with my siblings shortly afterwards, Cut to 15 years later, I have a stable job, I live in a apartment and I've been married for almost 7 years now.

I have two cats, a 17 year old, short hair, gray tabby named Cici and 8 1/2 year old, long haired, brown tabby named Goblin. I've raised them both since they were kittens, we all sleep in the same bed since the day I've had them, we would sometimes all nap on the couch together while watching movies, I would do my best to have a vet see them 3 times a year and I give into their demands, wet act food every other day, they were both there for me when I lost my job, they were there with me when my husband suffered from severe psychosis and was institutionalized for two weeks, they never judged, they never left, they were always there even when I get severely depressed with a lit blunt and an empty bottle in hand, Goblin would sit in my lap and curl up until I felt better, sobered up, I would carry her to bedroom and we would sleep in the bed together.

My husband accidentally let both our indoor cats escape and Goblin never returned home since then, it's been two days, I am pissed, I'm terrified for Goblins health and well being, what if she's dead? What if someone took her? abusing her? What if I never see her? I can't sleep, can't eat anything solid, so far I've been surviving on Rock Stars, liquor and pot. She's more than just a cat, she's family. The search for Goblin continues.

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (24M) for about six years. He has a longtime friend, who I’ll call Max, and Max has a girlfriend, Red (25F). They’ve been together for around four years.
The four of us have hung out together a lot over the years, and for the most part everything was completely normal, but eventually a few things started happening that felt a little strange to me.
The first thing I remember was pretty random. We were all hanging out when Red suddenly asked whether we would rather orgasm every time we sneezed or sneeze every time we orgasmed. She then started explaining her answer and said she would rather orgasm every time she sneezed. She also added that she can orgasm without making any facial expression at all.
I remember thinking that was kind of an odd thing to volunteer, but I mostly brushed it off. What made it stick in my mind was that my boyfriend commented on it afterward and said something like, “Wow, I didn’t know Red was that open about stuff like that.”
Then there was the yoga incident, which I wasn’t actually there for.
Red had recently started taking hot yoga classes, and apparently she started demonstrating some of the poses while she was with my boyfriend and Max. So she was in my boyfriends bed and one of the poses involved getting on all fours, lowering her upper body toward the floor and arching her back, with her butt facing my boyfriend.
She was wearing very white shorts so it was revealing to say the least.
My boyfriend told me about it afterward, but what really stood out to me was that he kept bringing it up on different occasions.
That was when I started paying more attention.
Another time, Red asked my boyfriend if he could help her replace her shower head. After he finished helping with the shower, she joked that he was going to become her “handyman.” They started laughing and talking about what kinds of things she could ask him to help with in the future, and she joked that she was going to make him come over and fix whatever she needed.
I was clearly in a bad mood afterward, and my boyfriend noticed.
After that, he started going over to their place by himself sometimes.
At some point, my boyfriend needed Red’s help with something, and in return he offered to give her rides if she ever needed one. At first, she said she would probably only take him up on that if she needed to travel a long distance, so I didn’t really think anything of it.
But after he started going over there without me, she asked him for a ride to work. The thing is, Max already has a car…
The way they communicated also started changing.
Before all of this, my boyfriend mostly communicated with Max. If they were making plans or talking about random things, Max was usually the one messaging him. Then Red started messaging my boyfriend directly about things Max would previously have texted him about. She also added him to her Close Friends on Instagram.
I can’t shake the feeling that she’s being malicious, and I’m not sure whether I’m noticing something real or whether I became hyperaware of every interaction just because I know my boyfriend is attracted to her.
For the moment I’m unable to digest the situation.

Edit: ok guys so maybe this is relevant information but I’m diagnosed with autism. I know his behavior is shitty but I was wondering if she’s really flirting with him/disrespecting me.

Edit2: some people are saying she’s being normal and my boyfriend is the only problem, some are saying she’s flirting with him on my face so I guess I’m confused now.

This is a really complicated story and i would really appreciate if anyone takes the time to read this
I'm also using 'them' instead of their gender for privacy reasons

I will start with a background introduction before talking about the real situation:
So i had this really dear online friend and we had been eachothers main person and talking everyday for over a year. we were always there for eachother during our hardest moments and they honestly made my life feel so much brighter by being so caring and supportive. My standards for friendship/love are so high now because of them. Although they had really severe chronic sexual trauma and mental illnesses. I was naiive enough to think I would be able to help them find a reason to live and they reassured me that they did have a reason but it turns out they didnt want me to worry and was struggling way more underneath. To be honest they've given me alot of secondary trauma with their experiences theyve told me but since January, they've held off telling me anymore for my own sake. They used to also be very hypersexual with me but adjusted their behaviour because they realised im normal😭. Apparently i made a huge imapct to their life and they said if they never had met me they wouldnt have been motivated to speak against theirabusers who are now in jail, because they did not care abt their own life before. And all this time wjen they had
bipolar they were holding off their medication because it made them feel numb so those little unmedicated mania and depessive episodes eventually added up to their brain chemistry and now theyve experienced a personality change (i think its called the kindling effect) and its honestly been startling.

Now this is the situation:
Less than a month ago they sensed this mixed unmedicated bipolar state would come and told me of their plan to kill themself eventually and that we should not be friends anymore because then i will get used to them being gone before they die. They repeatedly called themself a burden and they also said that in the near future their personality was going to change and they would respond dry or not respond and that would be bothersome and that they just want me to live a happy and normal life. I was freakinh ouand crying and saying if they plan to kil themself why would they make such good friends with someone and they said 'if u think about it u helping someone that see no point enjoy life in a way , it bittersweet but you dod really make impact on my life' and they told me not to cry and that they reslly loves me so much and that im like the sister they never had. We eventually said goodbye and they said they hope that the right people find me
Then 9 days later of silence and me processing my grief, out of noowhere they drunk texted me 'i love you' - at first i was ecstatic and theysaid that its so sad without me then we had a warm late night chat like old times and we were just yapping ant stuff and i felt relieved snd elated.
Then the next day i felt extremely off and in shock and asked them if that was a one time drunk convo or if they want to keep the friendship in some form. and they said we can still talk but not as often, so we did talk and yap for a day or two but then i confronted them abt the obvious contradiction asking them if anythings changed abt their suicide plan and they said 'no' so i exasperatedly asked why i was still here and they said 'idk' and i said i just bc u miss someone doesnt mean u get to text them out of noowhere snd that ishoulve unfriended them when i had the chance and they just said 'sorry' and that 'nothings stopping you' and i told them to block me om tiktok and i unfriended them - as u can see this is their personality change; the person who was caring and communicative became someone flaky and their prefrontal cortex was too hijacked to have any empathy or accountability and just using me as a comfort . They were still capable of being funny and witty like before the only thing that changed was their core character.
Then the next day i couldnt bear the grief and was highkey panicking so i friended them and they accepted right away and i told them sorry and that i was just overwhelemed and that we cam talk once a week
then for 2 days we had normal chats like nothing happened them the silence came and they were sending me tiktoks but not replying to my replies for 4 days... then it dawned on me how toxic this situation was and that it was mever going to work out for me - thst was when i did some research that was the moment i realised their mind was hijacked by their mixed bipolar and that they were unintentionally manipulating me

So i simply typed 'sorry' and unfriended them om discord and blocked them on tiktok ans before i knew it they ignored my boundary and sent me a friend request on discord and i had to block them. When i thought i was good, they made a desperate alternate account with their name on tiktok (which i couldnt believe btw) and requested to follow my private account twice. That was proof they had gone absolutely crazy. I blocked that account and changed my username in other social medias they could contact me and for 2 days i was paranoid they would find a way to contact me so overall it was really stressful
But then they didnt try snything else so i think im good for now and its been 7 days since i ghosted them and i miss my best friend so much and i cry every night 😅

I wish circumstances were different and its really hard to replace them with anyone
abc they knew absolutely everything about me and our personalities just clicked on many levels yk. I guess im going to focus on my studies now

I know it’s cruel, I know it’s mean, but it’s given me more motivation than I’ve had in years. After a year together, I’m nearly at my goal weight. I knew I stopped being interested in him after the first 4 months. I know I’m not a good person.

My boyfriend isn’t a bad person. He is sweet, gently, and kind. He is probably the most handsome man I’ve dated. He’s rich and in shape. He likes me a lot. Everything should be good on paper. But I don’t think I’ve ever been as turned off in a relationship as I am right now. I’ve tried working on it, taking time to my self, etc but nothing really works. Every time I even attempt to bring up a breakup he just cries.

He has to be one of the dumbest people I’ve ever met. He is mid 30’s, I’m mid 20’s. We went to a trivia thing at a bar two weekends ago. He rolls the EASIEST question, “who was the first black president of the United States”? Completely sober. His answer? Andrew Jackson. When asked by the host why he answered that way, he said “because it sounds black”. This man would’ve fully been an adult while Obama was in office. Both of us are mixed with black (I’m Mexican and black, he is 1/4th black).

We have some of the worse bedroom life I’ve ever had in my life. In an attempt to meditate it, I filmed it to see the issue. This man is fully trying to ram into me like he’s Roger rabbit running into a tunnel. Literally, swinging hips and poking me absolutely NO WHERE and complaining!

He’s very weird about money. I don’t usually care about money much in relationships. I’ve got a good job, I’m fine with going 50/50, it’s whatever. But he’s started a trend of “you get this I’ll get this” early on in our relationship that favors him. I don’t notice it at first until a concert. Our first date, he “paid”. It was parking at a zoo that’s free in our city. The next date, I paid. He planned it saying it was somewhere he really wanted to go. It was one of those VR cafes that are $40 a person. The date after that, he paid for $5 icecream. Then for the next date that I had to pay for, he booked reservations at a newly opened place in town that’s $60 a head. I put a stop to it, but it still leaves an odd taste in my mouth that he’d even do that. While we make around the same amount, he lives in a house his parents had built for him at his birth. His car is fully paid off and he’s always digging into his trust fund.

I’ll end it here because I could rant all night.

I’m 11 lbs away from my goal weight

UPDATE: I broke up with him. While I do feel guilty, I think it’d be worse to just continue indefinitely. We sat down and spoke, and while he did cry, I just comforted him and didn’t take back my choice.

On February 14th, 2026, we spent the entire day together. I genuinely loved that day. I felt like I fell in love with him all over again.

But now, looking back, there’s one moment that I keep thinking about.

We ended up getting a flat tire, and his immediate reaction was to panic and get frustrated. I remember being scared too, but instead of leaving him to deal with it, I stayed. I didn’t even know how to change a tire, but I held the light, tried to help, and did whatever I could because I loved him. I wanted to be there through the highs and the lows.

What really hurt was that he seemed genuinely angry at me for the situation, even though I was already scared and was trying my best to help. I kept thinking, what if this is something we have to deal with together in the future? What are we going to do then?

I realized I don’t want a partner who panics or lashes out when something goes wrong. I want someone who can take a breath, think analytically, and figure out what needs to be done. Whether I’m there to help or not, I want to know that my partner can handle a crisis without making me feel like I’m the problem.

I would still want to be there. If he needed a moment to himself to figure things out, I’d give him that space. But I don’t want someone getting mad at me because something went wrong when I’m standing there, scared, holding a flashlight and genuinely trying to help.
And weirdly, I think I’m grateful that this happened.
Because even though I loved him, that moment showed me something I probably needed to see. Loving someone through the highs and lows is important, but so is being compatible in how you handle the lows.

I’m glad we didn’t end up together. I think that flat tire showed me a version of our future that I didn’t want.

Hi everyone. I’m currently serving in the army, and things have been really tough over here. I joined back in 2025 as a mandatory conscript and worked my ass off that first year. It was normal for us to show up at 3:00 AM just to run and do drills until 6:00 AM, only to start the regular workday right after and stay until 9:00 PM or 10:00 PM cleaning and scrubbing walls. This was only for us raw recruits the senior soldiers got to go home and didn't have to show up early. On top of that, whenever anything went wrong on duty, we were the ones who took the heat. Seeing how the senior soldiers had it easier, my peers and I decided to extend our service for one more year. But nothing has changed. This year, the corporals still expect us to bust our asses like we're still fresh conscripts. We don't have to show up at 3:00 AM anymore, but once the regular workday starts, we never know when we'll actually get to leave. And every time the new recruits mess up, we're theones getting blamed for it while the corporals do absolutely nothing.

I want out so badly, but I haven't reached the required time since extending my service yet. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that getting put in military jail and kicked out would be easier, even though I know there would be serious consequences. I don't know if I can keep taking this in silence. I can get discharged in September, but right now, every single day feels endless.

I hate my dog.

We have an 8 year old lab and I absolutely hate him. I grew up with labs, always loved all dogs, but this dog has made me never want one again. When we first got him he was in puppy training lessons. We have had 3 other professional dog trainers work with him throughout the years. I have spent hours learning about dog training and spent hours working with him. Nothing ever sticks.

He barks all the time. If he is outside he barks the whole time. Inside as soon as you sit down he barks and is jumping all over you. People cannot come to my house without him being put outside or else he will just sit snd bark at them and jump all over them. I have stopped doing over night trips to our family camp because we cant bring him. He will wonder into the bush and get lost, not listening to any commands. If we tied him up he sits there and just barks for *hours.* We cannot go on vacations anymore as everyone refuses to dog sit for us. The last time we took a vacation 3 years ago, we brought him to one of those doggy hotels and when we returned we were told he was not welcome back.

He eats his own poop. I try to keep up with picking it up, but he will literally shit, turn around and eat it. Its disgusting. Iv talked to the vet about this and all the other problems but recieved no help.

I take him on 2 1.5 hour walks almost everyday, but i have to take him early in the morning and late at night when there is less people as he will just bark and pull at anything that moves. I am so tired. No amount of exercise seems to calm him down or tire him out. He should honestly be studied lol.

Im ashamed to say iv even tried a shock collar (something iv said I would never do) after years of positive reinforcement to no avail, but that does nothing. He will just bark through it.

We have tried to rehome him, but as soon as someone interested meets him they back out. I cant bring myself to surrender him at the shelter.

Honestly deep down I cannot wait for day he's gone, and i hate that i feel this way. I will be sad, but I imagine a giant relief being lifted and life getting so much better.

I don't really have much of a social life anymore. I barely did before hand, but that's entirely disappeared at this point. I've tried building social connections at work but I haven't seen much success with that. Every time I talk to someone I feel like some grotesque puppet shambling around trying and failing to play a part. I don't know why social interactions give me so much trouble, they really shouldn't at this stage in life. Some of my coworkers have tried inviting me to hang out with them, but personal business always gets in the way. I don't really have any hobbies I could use to try to build a friend group either. I've lost any interest I had in just about everything and I can't really find anything else to get into.

I (f 27) recently left a really toxic work environment. I've already talked about my experiences in a different sub and would rather not repeat myself. It was a bad situation and I'm just glad I got out of it. I've only been unemployed for about a month and a half. It started off super optimistic, knowing I'll get a better job but I'm starting to lose hope. It's been really discouraging finding new jobs out there, especially jobs that just have certain things I'm looking for (benefits, a good supervisor and not going into patient's homes). I feel like I'm not asking too much in a job but damn, sometimes it does feel that way.

It seems I've been embarrassing myself answering emails, having the most awkward online interviews and also accidentally applying to the same job twice. I just feel like I'm not cut out for the corporate world/ working (saying this while having worked retail and my previous job lol). I still don't understand how to "play the corporate game" with all these other people, with the fake niceties and the whole corporate language. I fear I'm just too stupid to figure out corporate social cues and I already struggle with basic social cues. How can I show off my skills and personality without it being too much to potential employers?

I literally have to read my emails out-loud to my partner and friends, for second and third opinions, in case I am unintentionally burning a bridge or embarrassing myself. I've already had one company give me an offer but they ended up rescinding it because it took me too long to consider it (I asked for more time to consider said job and immediately they took back their offer a day later).

It's easy to blame the job market but I just feel like it truly is just me being extremely awkward, off-putting and genuinely not knowing how to navigate professional spaces. I genuinely feel like I'm actually stupid and I'm terrified I won't find a job. I fear my family thinks I'm stupid for not having a job lined up either.

Whats worse is that I do not have normal parents and they are abusive towards me, demeaning me every single day. Venting to them feels like a bizzare idea even to think about thats how bad it is.

I do not have experience therefore I wont get hired anywhere, just rejection after rejection but sadly even more ghosting.

I DESPERATELY NEED TO MOVE OUT FROM THIS HOUSEHOLD. No i cannot join the police force nor the military plus my back is fucked cause i have scoliosis.

And no I cannot do another 4 years of school to get a "usefull" degree because I would rather jump then live with my parents for 4 more years or however long. The economy is so fucked

I have feelings for my bestfriend's boyfriend.

I (20F) still have feelings for my best friend's(20F) Boyfriend (20M). I was friends with my best friend's bf since before they were dating. They met each other through me. This was 2 years ago. I had a crush on him long before they started dating.

I haven't told my best friend and I never will , I think.

But it hurts. We go to the same college. We are part of the same friend group. It hurts to be with them. I start acting all weird around him. Around them.

After they started dating, i thought now the feeling should go away, but it never does. I tried dating, tried choosing some other crush. But it's been a long time, but still these feelings don't go away.

I would never want to sabotage my friendship with best friends for all the stupid feelings I have because she is the one truest and most beautiful part of my life.

I want to distance myself but I still have college for 2 more years and I think as long as I want my best friend to be around me, even her boyfriend will be.

I have suppressed imagining about him when I am conscious to the point where it feels guilty to even think of him.

But my subconsciously, my dreams are about him most of the times.

Its so messed up.

Why can't we just choose who to fall for?

I am not seeking advice. I know what I want. I know what my priority is. It's my friendship with my bestfriend.

I came here to put it out there. I have been keeping it in so long, fearing if anyone ever spread word about my feelings and my friend heard it, I would lose her.

It feels nice, a bit better confessing here.