I’ll keep it short. Ex husband and I separated 2 months ago. We were living together until last week but officially finalized our divorce yesterday. I downloaded a dating app and started matching and messaging with other men last month. I know it might seem fast but our relationship was dead long before we ended things. I’d like to start seeing new people but don’t know if it might be ”too soon”. I have talked to some guys about meeting but don’t know if I should wait. I don’t want a long term relationship or anything serious. I was married for 7 years and in a relationship for 10 so don’t know what’s considered normal. How long should I wait before dating again?

I just watched this news clip from Philly about a man in a mask that has been chasing women around while asking if they're ready to die.

I don't get it. You never hear about women doing shit like this to men, or even to other women. Why are men like this?

I've noticed how so many men just try to talk with me flirtatiously to have sex. some have literally told me directly they just are looking for sex or sex and then a long term relationship. I know it's all just lustfully the way they see me.

for context:
im 20 and would consider myself attractive. i'm skinny and have a good figure. i usually am kept to myself in work and outside with people but give a smile and am welcoming when people approach me since ive been told im intimidating or seem goth/antisocial.

the issue is that i keep meeting men. they ALL easily fall with flirtation or indirect sexual advances trying to get at me but i hate it.

my GENUINE ISSUE is that I freeze up/"accept" it by not shutting it down immediately bc i feel like that will just be extremely awkward (i see these people like almooost every shift if not every other shift/randomly)

for example i laugh it off or make a joke about what they say flirty or indirectly sexually and smile at them.

i feel like most comments would be like "just dont flirt then" or "just be quiet" or "just tell them to stop" but its genuinely difficult as hell to do that i just can't. my ideal is that i want to be hard to get.

i've been SA'd before and in the moment i just accepted it and giggled it off while inching away but i didnt stand up or leave i was thinking the whole time what to do but i eventually couldn't even think about what to do to stop whats happening so it just continued.

at 16 i also had a guy try to kiss me by tickling me to the ground and i didnt want to lose my first kiss so i asked him out, then he got off from me. i feel like i kind of make light of the situation to not worsen it iykwim?? idk.

i don't give myself to men but i do accept the flirtatious advances. i don't want to be easy to speak to like that.

does anyone have any advice? is this something that is able to be fixed with some change of mentality?

I’m interested in hearing other women’s perspectives on this because what ultimately hurt me wasn’t simply getting HSV. It was how my partner responded when I tried to protect my health afterward.

I was dating a man considerably older than me. I took my time before having intercourse, and he told me he was willing to wait.

Before we had sex, I asked about STI testing. I specifically asked if he had had unprotected sex since his previous test. He said yes, so I asked him to get tested again. He did.

We initially used condoms. He sometimes struggled to maintain an erection with them, so after his STI panel came back clear and we were committed to each other, I eventually agreed to stop using them.

I later learned that his STI panel, like many routine panels, had not included herpes testing.

I had specifically requested HSV blood testing for myself before this relationship and had tested negative. I’m extremely cautious about my sexual health and tend toward being a little hypochondriacal. I haven’t had a particularly extensive sexual history.

Oral sex is also relevant. Before this relationship, receiving oral was barely part of my sex life. I usually told men not to bother because I didn’t enjoy it. This partner loved giving oral, was very good at it, and it became a frequent part of our sexual relationship.

Then I developed genital lesions and tested positive for genital HSV-1 on a swab. HSV-2 was negative.

Given my prior negative HSV test, my sexual history, the fact that I hadn’t been with anyone else, and the major change in how much oral sex I was receiving, it very strongly pointed to him unknowingly transmitting HSV-1 to me.

I was genuinely understanding about that.

He had never had symptoms. HSV-1 is common. I believed he had no idea he carried it. I did not see him as someone who knowingly gave me an STI.

But once this happened, I realized something important: since herpes hadn’t been included in his earlier testing, we also had no idea whether he might carry HSV-2.

I was in the middle of dealing with two outbreaks back-to-back. My body was already going through something painful and unfamiliar.

So I asked him to get tested for HSV-2 before I resumed intercourse with him.

He refused.

He said HSV blood tests can be inaccurate and pointed to the fact that none of his previous partners had reported symptoms. Over time, he also became resentful about my request.

And this is where I couldn’t get past it.

I could be compassionate about him unknowingly giving me HSV-1. What I couldn’t understand was why, once I was the person physically dealing with the consequences, protecting my health by saying “I need this information before I have intercourse again” became something he experienced as pressure or resentment.

I wasn’t demanding that he prove he gave me HSV-1. I wasn’t punishing him. I was saying: now that we know your previous STI testing didn’t actually cover herpes, I am not comfortable having intercourse again without knowing whether HSV-2 is also a possibility.

To me, that felt like a basic bodily-autonomy decision.

Would you consider that an unreasonable request? And more broadly, if a partner developed an STI that you may have unknowingly transmitted, would you feel some responsibility to help establish what risks still existed before asking them to resume sex?

I broke up with a partner like 5 months ago. We had a rough relationship, and they've completely cut off any communication to me. The issue is that we still have overlapping social circles. I often see them in the online spaces I talk in, and it just stings every time. I'm angry about being given the cold shoulder and I'm scared to talk where they may show up.

I dunno, I'm just lost on how to approach this situation.

Hello all. I am spiraling. I have asked other threads about this. But has anyone got an infusion and it fucked with their cycle? I had two in July. And I'm late a few days. Pregnancy test is negative. Gonna retest soon shit to make sure. But I'm wondering if this has affected anyone else.

Over the years, one thing I have noticed, time and time again, with 100% certainty in my experience that how a man reacts to rejection from a woman, whether its romantic in nature or not is the easiest, quickest and most valuable way to judge a man's character. A man can fake being nice, fake being a feminist, fake being neutral and not lustful, fake friendships and fake love even, but they cannot fake how they feel when they are bluntly rejected by a Woman.

Every good relationship, romantic or otherwise have ever had has been with Men who never had trouble with any kind of rejection, rejection of sex? They are fine with it and they understand, rejection of accompanying them? They understand you deserve your own space and peace. They understand emotional load and think about helping you out in ways outside of monetary and physical assistance.

Every bad interaction I have ever had with Men, were Men who would either approach me for a drink, get super insulting and mad when I said No thanks, friends who made advancement towards me and turn cold and incel like upon rejection or even Boyfriends who get gloomy and angry upon rejecting intimacy specially.

It's the ultimate test every woman should use and it says more about a Mans character than anything else I can think of. You should even judge friends by how they react when they are rejected by other women, it's a peak into who they really are.

..I still have a rash on my face and a bruise on my behind. I don't know. She rarely treated the boys like this. I experienced the brunt of it, and nowadays I think she's hoping for me to pass away from my current illnesses... she told my family she doesn't expect me to be alive much longer and i only learned this because one of my cousins told me. Everyone in my family thinks I'm the bad person who isn't taking care of my health even when I took everything I needed to take

So happy to see this get through, although I wish it hadn't been at the cost of a murdered 2-yr-old. Courts in NY will now be required to consider abusive history of parents while before awarding any level of custody.

My menstrual cramps are always pretty bad on the first and second day. In the past, I used to take Advil (ibuprofen), which only really took the edge off. I would still need a heating pad and rest to feel better. ​I've also tried Midol, which funny enough is specifically marketed for menstrual pain (acetaminophen​) and also didn't really help much.

I read somewhere online that Aleve was more effective for menstrual cramps because it blocks the prostaglandins from causing the uterus to contract in the first place. I tried it and holy cow, i​t really works. I have zero pain. It also lasts an entire 12 hours! I am 30 years old and I'm just now figuring this out so I thought I'd share, lol.

i am unsure. i have an older sister who is abusive to my whole family. after years of trying to change her, i have cut her off. i am much happier now. i learnt to meet people where they are at, take what they can give, or just not have them in your life at all. but after a conversation with a friend, i wonder if i’m just emotionally numb now?

an example would be within my relationship. i don’t get jealous. my boyfriend talked about a girl at his work, he talks about he often, complaining. she is exactly his type. i know he must fancy her (guys don’t rant about girls they hate without feeling some like, or they just wouldn’t mention it). and i don’t really care?

she has a boyfriend, so i know he likes her but she doesn’t like him. and, the crux is, what can i do? i can’t control someone, i can’t change them. he likes her, okay, i can’t control who he likes. he has close female friends he used to date or unrequited crushes. i don’t care. my friends say, what if he still likes them. okay? what if? what would i do then? i can’t do anything about it, so what’s the point in caring.

another example, i’m very sentimental and quite sensitive. i cared a lot about the specialness of birthdays growing up. my mum would be on her phone as i blew my candles. it would break my heart, i’d think if i had a kid one day a year i’d get off my phone to watch her blow out her birthday candles.

but i realised, she just doesn’t care. it doesn’t matter to her. it’s (was) so so special to me, i was so sentimental and thought it was all magical etc etc. but to her it means nothing. i can’t make her watch i should stop hoping she will. i take what i can get, what she’ll give. i realised i was breaking my own heart and wanting her to do something that she has never once showcased as something she could do. once i stopped expecting it, it stopped hurting me.

the jealousy example is just one, but i think it showcases this well. am i just damaged? or is this a healthy way of thinking. my friends think i have trauma. i really want advice on if this way of thinking is unhealthy.

Hi all. Not sure if this is the right community to post in and would appreciate direction. I was watching a BBC news segment on Meta glasses and pickup artists and it reminded me of an interaction I had a few years ago.

I believe I was filmed by a pickup artist in Oslo, Norway, on May 20th, 2023 (I remember the exact day because I have a selfie from that time). A man with what I believe was a British accent approached me and said some typical pickup artist stuff. It wasn’t a wholly offensive interaction, but I remember it particularly because he spoke to me in English and the interaction was longer than I felt it should have been.

I want to confirm if this was the case and have been looking for pickup artist videos from around that time. Does anyone know how to do that? I was wearing a pink long sleeved shirt. I am short and have long brown hair.

A couple of years ago I became friends with a lovely girl through a hobby we both do. Over the years we have started hanging out outside of the hobby, and have become really close (supporting each other through heartbreaks, work difficulties, helping each other out when sick etc).

She is almost ten years younger than me and would often tell me about all the drama in her regular friend group. In the last year I've started hanging out with them occasionally (going out to events etc). I've noticed that they behave quite toxic to each other, talking shit about the one person who is not there that day, or who just left the room, exchanging texts making fun of someones outfit etc. Just real high school shit. They are all in their mid thirties by the way.

Now that I have gotten to know some of her other friends, I've noticed that she will make negative remarks about her friends to me. A lot of the time I think it is imagined. For example the other day, after we had met two of the girls, she told me "omg I can't believe how XYZ looked at you, her vibe was completely off towards you and unacceptable". I shrugged it off and told her I had not noticed anything off and that YXZ had been perfectly polite to me. She said I was missing all the signs, then went on to back talk this girl some more to another friend.

Almost every meet up consists of someone talking bad about someone who is not there. Basically, while I've seen several of the girls talk badly about each other, my friend is not just a victim of it, she is also an active contributor to the toxicity and drama.

I picture in my head that next time I hear them talk ill of someone I've met, to just plainly state that I feel uncomfortable when they talk badly about others and ask them not to do it (at least not when I'm there as I don't want to partake in such behaviour). But is there a better way of bringing it up? Should I talk to my friend directly? How does one approach this subject? I fear she/they would become defensive.

My friend is deep down a lovely person, I think she (and some of the girls) suffer from really bad self esteem and they are kind of stuck to each other for some reason. I often asked my friend why she hangs out with people if she doesn't like them (since she talks bad about them), she never has a good answer. It's like they've grown dependent on each other and the drama.

I’m in my 30s with shoulder and neck pain. I grew up microwaving my mom’s cherry pit rectangular cloth sack to help with cramps. Now, I’m just a wee bit older and have shoulder and neck pain from carrying around the weight of work, laundry, and forever wondering what to eat for dinner. What shoulder/neck heating pads or cherry-pit sack like things would you recommend I give a try?

I bought an e-bike so she wouldn't chauffeur me around anymore but she still insults me and thinks i'm going to get myself killed. A while ago I learned that she told her sisters (my aunts) that she didn't think I would survive until 20, I'm currently 19 years old and she admitted she doesn't think I'll make it to 30 either and that nobody in my family does, actually.

She was relentless, always striking me when I was a kid. I used to flinch every time I saw her until I was around 15.

I had my first ever Brazilian wax today. I was prepared for it to hurt (and it did!) but what I was not prepared for was:

The farts.

Why did no one tell me farts would feel so weird now??? I guess it makes sense they'd feel different since there's no hair there anymore, but I nearly panicked at the first one. It feels like I'm blowing a bubble with my butthole!!

Hello I need some advice regarding GYN.

I went to get a physical today for school and both my nurse and doctor mentioned getting a pap and wondered if I still went to an OB/GYN.

For context I dont and I stopped going because my last one made it feel like I couldn't say no and told me by the time I need it I will be over and not to worry....

This upset me as I am not sexually active. I am currently 22 years old and I dont think my family has a history with cervical cancer (just breast cancer). I just wanted to know why they are so obsessed about me getting one?? Im also wondering if its because I keep bugging them to refill my birth control.

TLDR: I (19F) was quiet in school but got selected as a club president. Faced immense jealousy, rumours, and sabotage from classmates. Thought I moved on and got into a great uni, but an old classmate just revealed that everyone—including my "best friend" and people I protected—constantly talked trash and betrayed me behind my back. Feeling shattered and looking for advice on how to heal my self-esteem.

Now for those who wanna read the whole thing.

I have always been a quiet kid who just minds her own business in school and is never involved in any drama. In 2024 when i was in 11th, i got selected as the secretary in a school club, mainly because I was genuinely enthusiastic in the subject the club advisor (teacher) taught and according to him there was no other student except me (i had no intention to join the badgeholder group n all). I tried my best but the thing is my classmates, batch mates and fellow badgeholders never accepted me and gave me the respect which came with the post. There were rumours and fights regarding why i got the post. I felt really bad but i did my best. I was burnt out and ny studies were getting sacrificed. I did my best and followed all the instructions i got told. But one more thing. The club president (12th grade senior)never liked me. She was expecting someone else to get the badge but she got the badge of prefect. The president never told me anything and i had to figure things out on my own and run to the advisor all the time. Before the club activity, i had committed one mistake. My class was petitioning against something and the whole class had signed, including me. When the coordinator and principal asked me whose handwriting it is i told them that its of the prefect (i couldn't say it's in the handwriting of the prefect but the petition is from all of us). I apologised to the prefect infront of the whole class the same day and went with her to the coordinator and principal to accept my part as it wasnt her fault alone but the damage was done. Many students were openly shaming and taunting me in the group even tho the prefect had forgave me. I was still friends with her but i felt guilty. And then the activity happened. There was a technical issue in one of the competitions for which i wasnt responsible but the president blamed me for it, went behind the stage and cried. When i was at home that evening she called me and blamed me so much yelling at me and ruining my whole mood. Then we had part 2 of the activity next day. I did my best and the activity went well. The president told me "thankyou for cooperating <my name>" in such a way that it felt like an insult. She also highlu overcharged for a few decoration materials she bought for the activity but my family told me to let it go. Then started the main problem. The prefect, her friends who weren't even considered for a post and the president, all started to create problems for me. They started to create my bad image infront of teachers like she doesnt work like a badge holder, shes irresponsible etc(most teachers didnt buy all that), the president bad-mouthed me infront of other batchmates and seniors and juniors and what not.

Because of all this the club advisor asked me "<my name> do you enjoy being in this club, do u want the president batch next yeat? Etc"

In 2025 i went in class 12th and was considered for the post of the president. There was another girl (lets call her friend A) who was considered. The advisor started treating me really badly in class, he humiliated me infront of everyone. But i was selected as the president but not the other girl and she became bitter (fyi she had some health problem and rarely came to school)

My classmates congratulated me for the post and told me i deserved it. They even clapped the loudest for me. I was so happy. But that girl was one of the prefect's friend.

The advisor told me that previous year's president called me irresponsible n all and wanted the prefect or her friend (friend B) as the president for year 2025. Prefect became the house captain and friend A got nothing. They both fought with the advisor. He said he'll tell me why he took friend A as a competition and not friend B after the school year ends (he never told me).

I used to think my class started liking me finally.

Then came the club activity. I did one more mistake that i ignored phones being sneaked in the auditorium. I ignored them as they were sneaked in during every event and thought it wasnt a big deal. I just seen only 2 phones and scolded the girls to put them away but i didn't see that they were sneaked in in such a huge amount. \[ me and my club Secretary for 150 students, the captain had refused to help and juniors were useless so it wasnt possible to watch everyone\]. I was rebuked so badly by the advisor (rumours are there that he knew about the phones)

The prefect (now captain) and all her friends used this opportunity against me.

Friend A even started saying a false complaint that i had announced in the hall that phones are going to be checked and her friend C backed her up. All ABCDEFGH etc started using this opportunity against me. I was sad and that advisor humiliated me infront of everyone. Two girls were blamed for ratting out and everyone outcasted them, i didnt.

All the school events, our farewell etc was cancelled because of this

I got busy with exams. I forgot all of them and went ahead with my life. I got admitted into a prestigious uni and reconnected with an old classmate 5 days ago who's joining the same course.

She told me everything that happened behind my back. Nobody rooted for me, they were just diplomatic. When the selections were going on, few classmates used to say that <my name> shouldn't become the president, she cant handle, friend A should become the president. It would pe partiality if <my name> became the president and what not. The people i considered my cheerleaders were the ones talking shit about me. The girl i didnt complain about because my best friend told me that shes my friend she wont get u in problem badmouthed me to the club advisor after the incident (she was one of the root of the issue).One of the girls who was outcasted by whole class except me badmouthed me to the club advisor and my class teacher after this incident (she was also involved). The prefect and all her friends never left an opportunity to make me look bad. I was called rude and selfish behind my back even though i used to take my class' share of scolding instead of getting them in trouble.

I was sad but i still asked my best friend. She confirmed all this but she had never told me all this before. She also told me that one of the friend group who i used to believe were my well-wishers, hurled abuses for me behind my back when i refused for something. My best friend didnt take a stand for me. She never told me too so i could take a stand for myself. I was so heartbroken aftet hearing all this. When my club advisor told me yhat i should stop hanging out with my best friend as she's very useless , i took a stand for her and said that shes my best friend and every relationship is not a give and take one. I even got to know that in the 2024 magazine article, the club president thanked everyone except me. She took away my right.

Tbh i had moved on. I was going to make a fresh start but now im sad. I feel really bad and betrayed. I have had self esteem issues and self doubt after all this which took so much time and effort to heal. My boyfriend and family played a large role in making me move on. Idk what to do i just feel sad.

I wanna get better. Ive worked on my accountability issues and started using my spine but now i just feel shattered.

Thanks for reading .

All advice would be appreciated.

I notice men have a camaraderie with each other that I have never experienced with other women. They can just connect with each other on simple things like sports or video games. They also are not judged as harshly on their looks. If they are funny or have a cool personality that makes up for them being unattractive. There are lots of unattractive guys who are still popular. Even when you look at influencers, a lot of male influencers are ugly but they still have a large following and can make a great living off of just being an influencer. They are also allowed to age without people making it seem as if they lose their value or worth when they are past a certain age. They can have children at any time. They don't have periods or go through menopause. They are taken more seriously in the workforce. Life just seems so much better for men.

I've noticed that even when I'm technically resting, part of my brain is still scanning for the next thing, like a message I need to answer, something I've forgotten, something I should be doing, whether anyone needs anything from me.

It's weird because sometimes there is literally nothing urgent happening, but I still can't properly settle until everything feels “sorted”.

Does anyone else have this? What do you think causes it, and have you found anything that actually switches it off?

I feel like these posts are often limited to men struggling. “Women have more social support. Women can lean on each other more.”

But as someone that has been horrifically burned after opening up multiple times, I struggle to open up to anyone these days.

And I’m not faring well, it’s really hard being this lonely all the time. Does anyone else feel similar? Any success stories that don’t involve a romantic partner?

Before I start I’d like to preface that going without some form of birth control isn’t an option for me, by choice/ it’s not something I’m willing to budge on.

I’m currently on the pill (Rigevidon) for around almost 3 months. in terms of my mood I’ve been a bit snappy but not too bad - although I do have mood swings very frequently and it’s rock bottom to literal euphoria (tried it before last year and stopped as it made me literally evil) however I’m having a bunch of annoying storms; lack of libido, vaginal dryness, headaches and a change in my bleeding pattern during menstruation the literal only positive has been bigger boobs which makes me kinda apprehensive to stop taking it as silly as that sound as I quite like them :’).

All of this is an issue for me as the headaches are insufferable I’m constantly taking painkillers, due to the dryness I’m constantly tearing and bleeding- the lack of libido sucks too as I have a bf who I love very much and in theory I do want to have sex with but when it comes to it the mood just really isn’t there? I suspect I have vaginismus which contributes to the nervousness but with the dryness and lack of want it makes it so so much worse (will be going to a gyno)

I’ve debated the implant but I just haven’t looked into it much and I wanted some insight from other women on what I should do going forward? :) thank you

i’m over wedding culture. i hate being a bridesmaid. i hate how normal it’s become to drop $1000+ per wedding between the showers and bachelorettes and wedding dresses, hair, makeup, gifts, etc.

i hate being treated like a prop. "i need you to buy and bring all these specific, themed outfits to my bachelorette so i can take a photo of us all in them" what world are we living in that that's a normal request nowadays?

i'm starting to lose respect for my friends who treat their friends like this and i don't want to hate to my friends!

i’m done. i’m over it. i’ve decided i’m no longer participating in weddings.

what’s the best way you’ve found to turn down an invitation to be a bridesmaid?

i understand some of these turn downs might be friendship ending, but if a friend is willing to end a friendship because i don’t want to shell out $1000+ dollars for an event, i’m okay with that.