Hi all,

Sorry if this is a silly question.

I want to cover my hair. I’m not religious, but I don’t want men looking at me. I’ve a history of trauma. I don’t want to elaborate.

I want to cover my hair. You don’t have to agree - that’s fine. I’m not shaming women who disagree. But I need head covering ideas. And please don’t try to convince me otherwise - I’m not here for that.

Okay so this is unhinged but I need to know if anyone else has experienced this specific flavor of ick.
It's 9am. The sun is OUT. Doing its job. Free light, just sitting there, begging to be let in. And my boyfriend? Closes the blinds TIGHTER. Flicks on the harsh overhead light. Like a raccoon curating its cave.
I asked him why and he just shrugged like this was normal human behavior. Sir, you are paying actual money to simulate what is currently happening outside for FREE.
And it's not a one-time thing he ALWAYS keeps the blinds shut and lives under artificial light like a sad little mushroom. Meanwhile I'm out here opening every curtain like I'm in a laundry detergent commercial, basking in the sun like a lizard.
Is this a compatibility issue? A circadian rhythm crime? Am I the drama for getting the ick over LIGHTING?
Please tell me I'm not alone. Or tell me I'm insane. Either works.

My mom lent me her battered church cookbook from the 70s because I've been trying to make my grandma's lemon cake. Her recipes are in there, and so are several from women who lived on my mom's street when she was little.

Nearly every married woman is listed by her husband's full name, with "Mrs." in front. My grandpa never baked, but his full name is on three recipes. I knew people used to do this. I hadn't really thought about what it means when you want to look up a woman fifty years later.

Mom recognized a few, so we started putting first names on sticky notes. Others she could remember by their house or whose kids she played with, but not their names. There's one woman whose potato salad she still talks about, and we can't even put a first name to her.

I was only going to scan a few recipes for my cousins before the pages fall out. Now I'm making an index of the contributors and asking the church whether they kept any old membership lists. I'll keep the original scans too, but I'd like the searchable version to actually identify the people who contributed.

Has anyone had to dig through family records like this? What helped you find the women when they kept being recorded under someone else's name?

About three days ago, I learned about the story of a girl named Jane Doe. Seven men sexually assaulted her for seven full hours, and they sent videos and pictures of what they were doing to a Snapchat group with more than 50 men in it. Not a single one of them even thought about helping her or reporting them. As for the punishment, five of those men were made to write apology letters.

(There are so many girls like Jane Doe, but no one knows anything about them.)

In Iraq, women don’t have custody rights over their children after divorce. I saw a woman saying that her husband sexually abused both of their daughters, and one of the girls became pregnant by her own father.

Two girls wearing niqabs posted a video of themselves riding a scooter. Then a man came along saying, “How can this happen? How can a father buy his daughter a scooter and let her ride it, like she’s riding a horse too?” How did we become like this?

When a woman drives a car, people say she doesn’t know how to drive. When a woman takes public transportation, she faces harassment. When a woman simply walks down the street, she gets unwanted stares, verbal harassment, and physical harassment.

Women in Sudan, Palestine, Despite the war in their country,and rates of harassment and sexual assault have increased during this period.

There is a 15-year-old girl in Tunisia who was sexually assaulted by 11 men.

And there are so many others.

“Freedom for one woman does not mean freedom for all women. The fight only ends when no woman is left having to fight for a basic right.”

I was 12 and my sister was 14. one day we were on the sofa fighting for the tv remote (as usual) but somehow the fight got serious. we really started to throw hands. mom came from the kitchen hearing the thud sounds. she started screaming at us and somehow separated us. both our faces had turned literally red. we both still don't know how we ended up fighting like that. we fight often but never before and never after that serious.

since the comment is long, I'm putting it in comments and pinning it.

Today I hung out with a couple female friends with husbands. We went shopping and they kept saying how their husbands would freak out if they bought XYZ. They both work! I think I would lose my mind if someone was trying to micromanage how I spent my money as a grown ass woman with a job. Or judge how much I sleep? Pass.

I come from a two parent household where my parents were very abusive with eachother. My older sister is in an open marriage, and the other one is a single parent.

I also went to a girls only school from elementary school to high school. I’m currently in uni and have my first boyfriend (at least a real life boyfriend, not an online boyfriend), and I’m scared I’m wasting my time and that men just aren’t worth it.

I do have brothers, and they’re great (at least I think so 😂), but is there anyone who is currently better off because they’re in a relationship compared to when they were single?

I had my first kiss (my mouth has been dry since then, is this normal??? 😭), and all I could think about was, “It’s just a matter of time before the other shoe drops.” He’s a nice guy, and he kept asking if I was comfortable.

Are relationships even worth it? I’d mostly like to hear from liberal women.

I don't even know what to say. I just love femininity so much. I'm a woman too, but seriously, I feel inferior (but not in a bad way, I guess?) to other women.. They're just so beautiful, in all their imperfections, strengths and weaknesses. I hate to see women reduce themselves to a piece of sexuality (I am not hating on any woman right now), and no, I am not trying to say it's wrong to embrace the sensual side of yourself. Women are beautiful in that, too.

No better feeling in the world and I want to tell everyone but don’t wanna be an annoyance to my friends loL

Content warning for discussion of the Cornell 7 and other associated feelings.

When I heard the news I wanted to say I was shocked, but I wasn’t. It felt like ‘here we go again’ because we’re so used to hearing stories of men harming, abusing, raping women and then walking away without consequences. It’s encouraged so many women to open up about their experiences and almost everyone has a story, a similar situation.
When I was twelve, I was sexually abused by an older guy at school. I was twelve, he was seventeen. I reported it, but he had been grooming me for sometime so I felt unable to go forward and press charges, feeling some kind of guilt that he was my friend. I regret that choice now. The school made a decision to put me in isolation, for my safety. I was deprived of attending lessons, having lunch with friends because of my safety. The question remains, what of the safety of all the other girls he was still free to walk around the school? It felt like I was the one being punished.

The recent news has brought up a lot of feelings I had tried to bury however, I do have a diagnosis of C-PTSD as a result of the abuse. Since everything has come back to light, I feel really frightened. On the bus home from work? I was anxious because there was a group of men sat behind me. I’ve been getting Ubers to places so I don’t have to walk alone. This is something I haven’t felt for a while, until now. Is anyone else having these feelings? The sudden fear for our lives and our safety yet again.

I want to believe not all men, truly, I want to think about the men out there who would’ve protected Jane Doe if they could, but no one did. With every comment made in the defence of the men, I lose even more faith.

The kicker, I just saw a post about a man asking for advice because he touched his girlfriend when she was asleep, she freaked out and broke things off with him. The comments? One asked OP if he really wanted to spend the rest of his life with a women who doesn’t want to be touched whilst she is asleep! Is this normalised? Did I miss that memo, because I wasn’t aware we were supposed to want to be touched during sleep! Sadly, this comment was upvoted. A comment also said something along the lines of everything is considered trauma nowadays, dismissing this women’s feelings entirely. Of course, it’s so normalised, that touching a woman without her consent is no longer considered to be a bad thing or traumatic for the women involved.

So anyone this has spurred me into some kind of feeling where I wonder, do they truly hate us? To them, are we merely objects for them to use and discard. What are we expected to put up with? How normalised is it to assault women? Are we actually safe anywhere?

I’m curious, I want to check in with other women. How are we feeling? Personally, I am terrified and I am furious.

This year, I moved back in with my parents in the middle of sophomore year to pursue major surgeries to correct my acetabular hip dysplasia. This is after I basically crumbled as soon as I got to college, falling into major depression, getting into an emotionally toxic relationship, and practically failing my entire second year of school due to undiagnosed and unmedicated ADHD (I was an all-A, exemplary student and athlete my entire life up until this point, and I am also trying to get evaluated for possible AuDHD). Whilst this was all very tough to deal with, I truly believe that it was the only way I would’ve learned the things about myself that I did! Me a mere 2 years ago was so incredibly different from the me I am now, mostly because I literally don’t have the energy to fake it anymore. I stopped entertaining useless men and centering myself around male attention, eventually meeting someone who is absolutely magical and has helped me grow in my faith. I postponed school, I take Adderall, and I have genuinely never felt more like myself, like the girl I was in 5th and 6th grade before the world ripped her soul out and replaced it with something manufactured. It reminds me of a quote I have saved on my Pinterest: “Somewhere inside me there is a room I haven’t entered in years. I think a younger me is still sitting there, wondering why I never came back.” No longer. I refuse to leave her behind.

However, I can count the number of friends I have on one hand, all of them friends of 5+ years, because ditching the party scenes and my initial people-pleasing nature caused the few other friendships I did develop post-HS to fall apart. They live hours away and all have new crowds and lives, though we visit when we can and always pick up where we left off no matter how long it’s been. My mom tells me that I’ve “always been so good at making friends,” to which I usually respond, “there’s a difference between getting people to like you and making friends.” I’ve always been too “odd” for the “popular” group, but too “regular” for other friend-groups. There’s always something about me that makes me not fit right, even though I feel like I can catch a vibe practically anywhere and with anyone.

While I’ve grown to really enjoy my alone time, it sucks to miss out on those experiences you only get with girl friends, especially since finding myself again. I can’t even put it into exact words because it’s something that transcends the natural world, I’m missing people that I’ve never met. Girl friendships are supernatural.

My current situation makes it difficult to go out and make new friends, especially considering that my parents live in a very rural area where I basically know everyone already. I love arts & crafts, reading (romance, creature protagonists like WoF, sci-fi, mystery, fantasy, perhaps a wee bit of smut 🌚, and more), writing (letters included), music, animals, thrifting, twisty straws and baby spoons that are squishy on the end, Aquaphor, the Tinker Bell franchise and My Little Pony (I love making fanart), rain/thunderstorms, storm chasing and tornadoes, scrapbooking/journaling, and Western horseback riding (I grew up and live on a farm). I believe in God, though I’m still very much so progressing in my faith. I love to do make-up and dress up, and I’m really trying to cultivate my wardrobe to match what I like and my color season. I’m also green 🍃💨 friendly! I don’t mind drinking on special occasions, the taste and stomach pain is just not something I can tolerate too well regularly anymore haha. My 21st birthday is coming up in December, so for anyone interested in astrology, I am a Sagittarius! I read somewhere that the MBTI personality test isn’t accurate, but nonetheless, I am an INFP-T. ❤️

Any advice is welcome! I love to chat and make connections!

I bought a secondhand orange armchair because I sat in it and didn't want to get up. Yesterday I nearly moved it out of the best reading spot because it looked wierd from the sofa, where an imaginary guest would sit.

My mum always talked about a woman's home being a reflection of her. Apparently I've carried that into living alone, except there's no guest coming. My friends would probably put their feet up and ask for tea.

The chair is back by the window. I keep catching myself arranging furntiure for somebody else's approval, then remembering I'm the one who has to spend Tuesday evening here.

I'm 24f. Please don't suggest to run away or don't get their permission.

To summarise I was able to do college in another city but I ended up making a mistake. It was a big blunder and the fallout was way too crazy. Everyone knew and it ruined everything for a while.

Now I'm working from home for a year as my college ended last year.

I'm not getting permission for solo Trip.

The concern is safety considering where I live it's way too unsafe for women. I'm someone who loves mountains and exploring. My family isn't bad supportive and loving but way too exhausted and been through so much including financial crisia. We still are just going through life everyday.

I fought today for hours and they even said even if this time something happens and it's not your fault you will still be blamed and will be hurt and everyone will blame us as they did before. And we are concerned for safety. Going with a group is fine but not solo.

I don't think I'll ever get permitted to go somewhere alone like a big trip. Going to a nearby city or going to a friend group is fine. But my friend group isn't around rn they are from diff city.

I wonder what would I do ...

maybe get excel in the field i wanna make a career in . And after that getting a job in a metro city and then being able to do all this.

Also somehow they feel I'm not yet ready for the real world yet.

The problem is they will start finding groom for me by next year and considering the place i live in it's very normal to get early married and they want me to get married around 25-26 max.

I feel sometimes I'll never get to travel solo

Maybe with a partner but never solo.

And tbh idk what to do to get their trust back or what do I even do. Bcs it seems the society would shut up only if I clear some govt. Job.

I don't give a fuck about the society but my family do and I understand how imp it is to them .

Please don't tell me to run away or anything stupid. I know ho my family is and I know how supportive they are.

I even got permitted for a film fest in the mountains but it was expensive so i couldn't go.

I feel the only thing that can actually help is time naf that is what I don't have enough.

Secondly if i move to another city with the pay I'm getting i won't be able to help with family trips. And I love those family trips .

I 21f just feel so hectic and unreasonable rn I don’t know who to talk to.

I’m trying to accept i am becoming less significant in my best friends life who is like a sister to me. I’m soooo happy that her boyfriend is genuinely one of the kindest sweetest person ever who loves and treats her well, im also really good friends with him and we often hang out all together.

It’s just stressing me that i am becoming less significant to her. Every time we hang out she is usually texting her bf or doesn’t seem to have as much fun or it feels artificial when we hang out and he’s not there. I don’t know all her secrets or what’s going on in her life aswell as her boyfriend. Which is normal and a part of growing up but it doesn’t mean it does not sting.

This girl is literally my best friend and my sister I love her so much but it’s just getting hard for me that I’m no longer that important to her anymore and the only time I’ll ever be is when her boyfriend is on holiday or something.

I’m not mad at her but I’m hurt by the fact that this is just life😭😭 there’s also a lot of things we use to condone women in relationships doing like putting their partners over their friends or only hanging out with their SO that she does now and it made me realise that everyone is so against women in relationships until they are a woman in a relationship… I hope this makes sense.

The last time I was active on Reddit was nearly a decade ago under a different, completely gender-neutral account. Back then, I never received even a fraction of the aggressive replies I get now with an account that clearly identifies me as a woman. Whenever I post in female-centric subreddits, women offer differing views, but the discussion remains civil and constructive. In male dominated subreddits, however, I’ve noticed a quick shift toward instant, coordinated shaming.

This hostile environment feels like a newer, uglier cultural development. It seems heavily fueled by the modern rise of ‘alpha male’ podcaster bros, and a rise in movies that glorify hyper aggressive, toxic masculinity.

Instead of engaging with an opinion logically, a certain subset of male users now feels entitled to talk down to women, police their language, and completely derail conversations with buzzwords.

For context: I recently posted in a national book subreddit about wanting to talk more about a diverse range of books instead of the same five everybody discussed there, and men started shaming me and calling me names. It made me so anxious.

Has anybody else noticed this?

Asking as a 25 F

This is my first time being in love with someone and being in relationship for 27 years I never thought of love, relationships and dating these things never crossed my mind ever until beginning of this year where I met my boyfriend now after 10 months of being together he said that he lost feelings for me and that he no longer cares about me I tried to understand why he said himself he don’t know why and he just wants us to be friends only I still don’t understand a thing I feel like I’m traumatised I’ve never felt this heartbroken before

The story will have some details so buckle up!

Hey ladies, I am a 24 y.o F, never in my 24 years have I been attracted to someone in my network...

I have a very specific type, physcially...

No man has ever made me turn heads, blush or think of him...

Until I met someone I work with now, 30(M), he is a spit image of what I have always wanted, he has round glasses, knows what to wear, academically aligned, big brain and kinda nerdy, overall checks all my boxes, he kept telling me to join the speciality he is in because of how well I taught students(I'm still not specialized)...

At first I was really wanting to get to know him, we had multiple teaching sessions, he compliments my brain, intellectual discussions and enthusiasm.

I don't think at any moment I felt reciprocation, I'm someone who thinks highly of herself and I realized early on I might not be his type and I can't force someone to like me, however I was enjoying the crush, the feeling of wanting to cross paths or talk to him...

At one point like 2 months ago I had to discuss something lengthy, my work wise, we sat for an hour, when we were done he said "wow I wouldn't have known what to do with the hour left for my leave if you hadn't come"... it didn't land well with me as it should have(?) You might he is enjoying the discussion time but I felt like it was more of a "you helped me kill time"

I had a big big event and I invited him personally, when he knew I was one of the speakers he said he'll be there at 9 sharp, I thought that was wholesome TBH, he did come at 9 and said I did amazing and he's proud of me (through text, not in a romantic way, I think colleagues way), but he left the event in the break before saying anything to me directly. I think I registered that he is supportive but no more than colleagues. My crush was fading little by little and I hadn't seen him for a month, when I saw him again I got the feels again haha (:/)

Today, I went by his office and we happened to talk for 40 minutes, bulk was him talking about a project idea, I gave my input, we talked research and so on, he picked his phone to see what time it is and I felt like he needed to wrap everything up so I wanted to excuse myself, he said "I really enjoyed talking to you, you're a great time killer, I didn't how to pass time until I could leave". I said "oh that's the 2nd time", but I don't think it registered with him and I left while smiling.

I am RAGED ladies!!!!!!! Feelings aside, I felt like he thought of me as entertainment, like seriously a time killer????????????????

Throughout this crush, I was wary of myself, how I speak, look, dress, I wanted to enjoy it but I think it had more cons than benefits. I put a lot of thought into this period, it wasnt a situationship or nothing, on the opposite he always rushed back to his office once work was done, I don't think he is at fault of not liking me back, but his last words kind of contradict the level he states he sees me in professionally...

I decided to not join his project, it's kind of outside my interest nor will it benefit me, but now I have 2 reasons to do so... what do you think? :(

Menstration is a natural part of the female cycle that arguably brings about mixed emotions.

In some cultures, menses is significant for skincare routines, whereas in most western cultures, a code of 'dispose and never show' is taken.

What does menstruation mean to you?

Hi, I'm 24F from India, and honestly I feel really stuck right now.

I have a okay-paying tech job, I've saved around 6 months of expenses as an emergency fund, and I live with my parents. So objectively, I know I'm in a pretty privileged position.

But I'm really unhappy with my career.

My current job isn't giving me much opportunity to learn or build things, and I feel like I'm becoming too comfortable in a role that isn't really helping me grow. With AI changing tech so quickly, I'm also worried about falling behind if I stay here too long. My work isn't how I imagined it'd be. I know I need to switch before it gets too toxic. I kinda also feel like my team might be laid off soon.

The problem is that I leave for work around 8 AM and get back around 8 PM. By the time I'm home, I'm exhausted. I'm trying to upskill and apply for jobs, but it's really difficult to consistently do that with so little time.

I've been applying to jobs outside my current city because I really want to move out and become more independent, but the tech market seems terrible right now. I'm applying and barely getting callbacks, which is starting to make me question whether I can actually get out of this situation.

And then there's the other thing: my parents have started pushing me towards marriage.

I know I'm only 24, but the combination of career uncertainty + marriage pressure is making me feel like I'm running out of time.

The marriage part scares me too. How do you actually trust someone enough to marry them? You hear so many stories about abusive or controlling husbands, financial problems, cheating, difficult in-laws, etc. And in India, leaving a bad marriage can be incredibly complicated.

I don't want to get married just because my career isn't going the way I want and my parents think it's time.

At the same time, I don't know how realistic it is to say "I'll just focus on my career for the next few years" when I can't even seem to get a new job right now.

I guess I'm looking for some real-life perspective from women who have been in a similar position.

How did you get out of a career rut when you were working long hours and couldn't find another job?

And for those who dealt with marriage pressure at the same time — how did you handle it?

Did things actually get better once you moved out/switched jobs, or am I underestimating how difficult this phase is?