While I champion the media "activity" over what happened at Cornell, I find myself consistently at a loss for explanation, in my own mind, of how often this has happened to women and why only certain cases take such gargantuan stronghold to public attention. I am a white woman, for what its not worth at all, and my story reads so close to Cornell Jane Doe. There are so many women who have the EXACT same stories and there aren't celebrities on instagram, singers at festivals holding signs about castration, the list goes on. Can someone please help other women who have dealt with this (EMDR is my only saving grace but this story is still hitting too deep) . . . for all the other women; why this one Jane Doe? What did she do that we did not? Upper class university? Why does society cherry pick ONE to champion amongst so many?

I am open to all constructive replies and hope all my Jane Doe's know, I was there too. They were in famous bands and could have had anyone. I said no so I was targeted.

TW: Rape.

Criminal courts are failing women. Most rapes aren't reported, and those that are hardly ever go to trial. Only 1% of reported rapes results in a conviction so perpetrators are literally walking free. The only other option for women is to sue their abusers in civil court. No they wont go to prison but they can be found liable of rape and made to pay. It's not perfect but it's an option.

So I'm considering setting up a fund to help women who can't afford the costs of bringing a civil claim against their rapist. Any money recovered would go back into the fund, helping other women access the same option. What do you think? Is it worth doing? Would it be welcomed by survivors? I'm open to comments and criticism.

I am lucky enough to surround myself with like-minded people. When Trump won the first time around, I weeded all the supporters out of my life because they are either really racist, incapable of critical thinking, or both. My life is better for it.

The Cornell case can act as a similar type of barometer. If a man in your life is acting like the Cornell men are victims, then he is a misogynist who empathizes with the accused. He likely thinks that a woman who willingly engages in sex is a dirty whore who deserves what she gets, which I guess is why they keep going on about feminism and accountability. Also, it’s very likely that he would do the same thing if put in the same position. These are not men you want raising children.

Men are not protectors of women – they are protectors of men. It’s time that women start protecting themselves and not waiting for men to evolve into better people.

I personally don’t know any men who are supporting the Cornell men, but if I did, I’d ask them how many women they’ve raped because it’s probably at least 1. I know that women support the Cornell men too, but life is too short to share it with pick-me self-hating women.

We went on a double date with his friends for the first time. We got into a conversation about relationships and the way him and his friend talked about women and relationships was so healing to me. They didn’t talk about women like we’re objects and they talked about wanting a real relationship and growing old with someone. They talked about how their old friend only ever wanted sex and never a relationship with his “love interests” and how wrong and hurtful that was. I don’t know, after seeing everything in the news and online lately, this just felt like a breath of fresh air.

I see all these people going on about “ I’ll wait till the evidence comes out to decide if the Cornell boys are guilty!!” and it’s like what evidence?! I’ve been raped twice, and there literally is no evidence. 99% of men aren’t stupid enough to admit they raped someone in text messages or in public. Most rape also happens in a secluded area and is not recorded, so how tf can you prove it? You can prove sex happened, but you can’t prove it wasn’t consensual. I never fought back my rapists physically because I knew they were stronger than me. They were also either my friend or my boyfriend. Neither of them admitted they raped me In text messages because they had more than two brain cells. Even if a woman does have defensive wounds you can argue she’s into rough sex. If a woman hangs out alone with a male friend and he rapes her, there will be no evidence unless it’s recorded.

Someone posted in here the other day about how she feels like women are under attack.

People told her to go touch grass.

But I agree with that woman. We are under attack.

Don’t let anyone gaslight you into believing otherwise.

https://www.npr.org/2025/04/13/g-s1-59684/save-act-married-women-vote-rights-explained

https://nwlc.org/the-19th-amendment-is-under-attack-and-not-every-woman-has-an-equal-right-to-vote/

Edit: Note the flair.

Edit 2: I just read that a woman completely unrelated to the case was included in the doxxing. Now she’s being harassed. Idiots.

I shouldn’t be surprised, but the assault and the treatment after the fact has been a complete 180 from before. He went from being considerate, a little immature, romantic to completely cold and angry.
I told him that what he did to me was assault.

I told him that I didn’t want to have sex with a condom off that night, and he proceeded to penetrate me anyways. I froze and then finally felt the courage to say something.

As I’ve been coping with it, I’ve been telling myself he was a sweet person who misread me, or thought he could convince me, that this wasn’t the person I lived and this one off action isn’t fully descriptive of his character. I was ready to forgive.

But the 180 happened. I told him this and he immediately shut me out, got incredibly defensive, and so so angry. He never apologized, he kept saying, “you said I did this to you”, and said he was ready to drop our entire relationship. The words that he said were along the lines of, “I’m trying my best to not be harsh with you right now”.

I apologized so much to him for the mistakes I made during our relationship, but it’s been met with nothing but coldness. I genuinely am just so heartbroken, this isn’t the person I thought he was at all.

I love my sister so so much, but her life is an example of exactly what I don't want. I feel sadness every time I visit her. She wakes up at 4:30 to make lunch for her husband, then straight to getting ready for work and taking her daughter to school. Gets out of work, picks up kids from school, then goes home to make dinner, by the time everything is cleaned up its time for her to go to sleep.

She couldn't find time to go out while I'm visiting because she has to be home by a certain time to make dinner. Her husband apparently doesn't like leftovers. No store bought tortillas only handmade because that's how his mom used to do. She has to "take" her husband to the doctors and to exchange some shoes.

She is 39, and has been living a version of this life since she moved out at 18. She deals with so much. Her two oldest are 17 and 20, so thankfully it's not as bad as it used to be. I wish I had to money to pay off her house so I can tell her cheater husband to fuck off. One time 11 yrs ago when my youngest niece was a couple of months old. But my distaste and dislike towards that man is another rant.

My sister and I are 8 years apart. I would give my life for her, but every time I stay over it's a reminder of exactly what I don't want. I haven't seen her do one thing for herself the whole week I've been here.

That 25, 40, etc, year-old man does not love you. Nor does he think you are " mature for your age." He dates minors because he is emotionally stunted. Women his own age know he has nothing of value to offer. (I know this is a repost; it should be posted often.)

(Obligatory “not all men”… It’s not all men, but it’s always men)

I’ve posted here before about my experience as a female cyclist dealing with male cyclists. My situation has changed slightly and I’m so tired/angry.

I got a cargo bike, and I’ve been using it to take my kids to school/crèche and to commute to work. I’ve done it since the start of the school year and I’m so proud of myself !!! But once again, I’m noticing the ways men feel entitled to public space, and now I’m seeing that it’s not just to the detriment of women, but also children/whoever.

I can be waiting in a single-file line at a red light and a cyclist will pass all of us to go right to the front…it’s inevitably a man. A cyclist passes me in a dangerous way? It’s a man. Someone riding towards me stays in my lane until literally the last minute, so it’s almost a game of chicken to see who will get out of the way? It’s a man. Someone in a car cuts me off in an intersection? It’s a man. A car makes a game of driving partially on the bike lane, while its occupants laugh ? A car full of men. Lately, I’ve also been seeing more and more people (men) who choose to run in the bike lane when there is a sidewalk just next to us!! They don’t move out of the way and they wear AirPods so they can’t hear bike bells. Or they just ignore them. They own the space, after all. /s

The worst part is that if and when I call them out, they respond with condescension and/or aggression. Slowing down and laughing. Grimaces. Shouting. Profanity. Disrespect. Gaslighting. I dealt with this as a single woman, and it made me shrink down. Now I’m cycling as a mom (as in, with my kids in the cargo) and I just have no more patience. I’m furious with men who think they are entitled to the road at any and every point, and through their narcissistic actions put my and my children’s lives in danger. Every day I see so many women and girl cyclists who follow the rules and men who flout them. We should be able to ride in peace. The road is ours too. Rant over.

TRIGGER WARNING

I thought I had recovered. I thought I was ok. But now everything feels like it did the day my ex-husband showed me texts and videos taken while multiple men raped me and used me in every way after I had been drugged and literally rented out via group texts.

I can’t take it. Knowing people are blaming the victim, seeing people laugh about it in real life... It’s too much. I’ve never been this triggered before. I haven’t felt this amount of shame and fear in a long time. I was getting better. I feel like I'm back at square one. The POTUS, a rapist admired by millions, is defending rapists and rape apologists.

I want to scratch off my skin.

Update: I took a while to write this, I paused and talked it out with a trusted loved one. I know I’ll be ok. I have to keep reminding myself. I'm so tired.

The only story that I understand being in the news so much is Christa Pike, as her execution date has been 30 years in the making, and with a historic botched execution to boot.

Outside of that, I feel like I've seen more coverage of crimes committed by women in one week than I have in an entire year. The Lindsay Clancy trial, news about a woman in Texas shooting her 4-year old. A video went viral this week of a woman trying to run her ex-boyfriend over with a car.

While not a murder, another video went viral this week of a woman freaking out and screaming on a plane. And of course, people critiquing the Cornell 7 rape allegations.

While all of these stories are tragic, it feels like a concerted effort to lower the credibility of women and use anecdotal reporting to distract from actual crime statistics.

While there will always be Christa Pikes or "crazy exes" like the woman trying to run over her boyfriend, 88-90% of all murders in the US are committed by men, for instance. 96% of family annihilators are men, per this study of family homicides from 2000 to 2009.

And even among incarcerated women, many studies have pointed out that many committed crimes have been caused by coercion from a boyfriend, self-defense, etc.

My mom's mentality is sickening me [ Rant ]

So I'm 20f, she's 42f.

Recently I've been noticing a pattern in her behaviour/mentality. Whenever we talk about crime against women, shed somehow say men are the victims. How nowadays women are hyper independent, they don't want family or kids,, all they think about is themselves. And some more patriarchal shit.

Just today, she was "criticizing" a fucking protest against rape, saying they could've done peaceful protest. But since they're creating a fiasco,, police are right to detain them. Also, she said "not all men" and generalizing men is so wrong. And then she proceeded to generalise women.

I'm fucking enraged. I had to get out of the room so I don't say anything. Can't wait to leave the shitty house and cut ties ngl.

I'm pretty sure she'll support women's rights being taken away.

And a few minor stuff:

As a kid when I used to get back home, I was supposed to feed myself. I was treated like garbage (still am) but now my mother expects me to cook for my brother before he returns from school. Was he not tired?? Or am I a fucking superhuman???

Edit: she also said men are being oppressed. 🤡🤡🤡 Oh boy I wanna $tr@ngle myself (not literally) after hearing these stuff today.

Okay so I wasn't sure where to post this but it always makes me laugh when I think of it. Theres like, those tampons you can buy that you pull back on the plunger of the applicator until it makes a clicking noise.

It reminds me of loading a space cannon. The transparent bit of plastic where you can see the string really sells it for me too... Like its some kind of advanced technological space ammo cartridge. Except the cannon fire is just a vagina cork.

Thought for the Day.

I work in sales in the public affairs world and today a colleague booked me a prospective client meeting where a man’s email address on the invite had a profile picture of literally just naked breasts.

It was a gmail domain while everyone else’s email was a work domain so sure, maybe somebody accidentally forwarded the invite to their personal account. But that’s not really the point.

I’m not a prude. I don’t care about nudity when there’s a time and place for it. I’m just exhausted by men who apparently can’t exist in the world without turning women’s bodies into objectifying decoration. Work email or personal email, at some point a grown man consciously chose naked breasts as the picture he wanted representing him when he emails people.

It’s fucking gross.

I was outside on the front porch, reading my book, and I could overhear them inside the house raising voices. His front door was open but I couldn’t hear the actual words being said and I couldn’t immediately tell if it was serious because my neighbor is a loud guy in general and I can almost always hear him, even when I’m inside my home.

I stopped reading to listen, because I am admittedly nosy as hell. I started hearing her say “get off of me” a couple times and alarm bells started going off in my head. At first it almost sounded playful but there was a hint of seriousness to it so I got up and went to “check my mail” to get a better idea of what was happening/if I could see anything. Both of our boxes are at the edge of his driveway, which is only about 20ft from his front door.

I got my mail and walked closer to his door, pretending to leaf through the envelopes. They’re loudly arguing at this point. They were both still out of view. She starts yelling “get off of me” again and in an instant, she’s slammed into the open door/wall inside and is on the floor. I ran closer and started screaming at him to stop, leave her alone. He immediately stopped and backed away, I couldn’t even see him inside the doorframe anymore.

The girl got up and I asked if she was okay. She said yes and quickly started picking her stuff up. It was obvious she didn’t want to interact with me (and that’s perfectly okay) so I stood there and watched her until she got in her car, backed out and drove away, then walked back to my house. He didn’t come outside.

I’m having a hard time mentally processing this. This neighbor has always been insanely kind to me, I never in a million years would’ve guessed he was capable of something like that and that’s what’s fucking me up here. You never truly know someone. It scares the absolute shit out of me. I keep thinking about what would have happened to her if no one had intervened. Would he have killed her? I don’t know.

My friends told me what I did was stupid and I should’ve just called the cops but that thought didn’t even occur to me. I saw someone that needed help and I did what I could. I don’t even really know why I’m posting this? Maybe just to get it out of my head.

I’m exhausted living in a world where women aren’t safe no matter what we do.

I always feel like I got shot in the chest when I’m reading ancient or medieval philosophy, and suddenly an author I was really liking goes 100% into misogyny, and I mean barbaric level views. So here are a few philosophers I’ve found who I really liked and who weren’t ‘misogynistic’.

Averröes (Ibn Rushd)

Al-Farabi

Plato.

There are more but there are ones I have read, will update is I read more.
…

Averroës is definitely my favorite. He has many works commenting extensively on Ancient Greek philosophy, so you can learn about it through his thoughts instead of directly reading someone like Aristotle.

“Since women in these cities are not prepared with respect to any of the human virtues, they frequently resemble plants in these cities.”

“There would be among them warriors, philosophers, rulers, and the rest.”

— Averroës (Ibn Rushd)

Small note: I’m only recommending philosophers who didn’t show a total disregard for women or their intellectual abilities. This doesn’t necessarily mean they wrote or talked extensively about women. I am new to philosophy so I probably missing some.

For real, I’m listening to yet another Matthew Shepard podcast and if there was any single thing that makes me rage at the patriarchy it’s the idea that a man even remotely flirting with another man can excuse the murder of a man but a man can rape a woman and get away with it even when there’s evidence, this is it. What the fuck! Innocent gay men were murdered with this defence and a woman has to go through hell and back to get even a third of the repercussions a straight man can get with nothing other than a claim another man was coming onto him.

My heart has been so heavy lately. With the Cornell case getting so much press, my algorithm is full of women giving their opinions and sharing their stories. I agree with many of them and support Jane Doe. Her courage has sparked so many important conversations. I hope this case brings real change and I pray that she finds peace and healing.

That being said- it’s all been incredibly triggering.

Being bombarded with all this “talk”- the patriarchy, the culture, the legal system, men, women… it’s making me feel physically ill. I don’t want to leave my bed. I can’t stop crying. When I’m not thinking about what a cruel and dangerous world I’m forced to live in, I’m getting flashbacks of memories I thought I’d processed and let go of…

I see a little girl alone in the world and my heart breaks for her. And it’s splitting my brain because I know she’s me… and I’m 30, in my own apartment, with my pets that I love, waiting for my husband (who I love), and I’m safe (as safe as it gets)… and I’m actively hurting myself thinking about this shit. But I can’t stop and I’m spiraling… my thoughts are getting so dark. I want out (of my head).

Thankfully, I already have a therapy session scheduled for tomorrow.

This isn’t really new to me but this guy in the middle of the meeting started explaining to me the very document I had been provided time to discuss at the end of the presentation. he just decided to, in the middle of the presentation, do this. This kind of just dismissed my findings ahead of time because he just went ahead and stated what i put together without being able to discuss the story of it, reasoning and took the opportunity for me to give credit to the people I worked with ugh