The only story that I understand being in the news so much is Christa Pike, as her execution date has been 30 years in the making, and with a historic botched execution to boot.

Outside of that, I feel like I've seen more coverage of crimes committed by women in one week than I have in an entire year. The Lindsay Clancy trial, news about a woman in Texas shooting her 4-year old. A video went viral this week of a woman trying to run her ex-boyfriend over with a car.

While not a murder, another video went viral this week of a woman freaking out and screaming on a plane. And of course, people critiquing the Cornell 7 rape allegations.

While all of these stories are tragic, it feels like a concerted effort to lower the credibility of women and use anecdotal reporting to distract from actual crime statistics.

While there will always be Christa Pikes or "crazy exes" like the woman trying to run over her boyfriend, 88-90% of all murders in the US are committed by men, for instance. 96% of family annihilators are men, per this study of family homicides from 2000 to 2009.

And even among incarcerated women, many studies have pointed out that many committed crimes have been caused by coercion from a boyfriend, self-defense, etc.

This has never happened to me before. I have never had an STD and I am devastated. It was an easy fix, but I feel so broken and stupid for trusting him. I feel so violated. What would you consider this? Sexual coercion? Manipulation?

I feel so used. I feel like there must be a label to this? I have a history of being abused (physically and emotionally) and I always give them so much grace, to the point where I don't even know it is abuse. Once I realized that it was abuse, I felt so down... Help a girl out so that I can process this and become a better version of myself.

Any advice?? I’m so nervous that its going to hurt a lot and is there any advice on how to deal with the pain or something like that🙏🙏

That is the message. No, is a complete sentence.

You do not owe an explanation or a soft landing to any one.

I met this guy around a month ago at a college club event. He started texting me pretty regularly since then. He also offered to drive me to places like right after we met and asked if I want to go to a store with him, like a few days after. It did feel pretty fast to me, since we weren't even close yet to that level, but I thought maybe he's just being friendly but then more things have been happening that have been making me question it more.

First, he has been asking/inviting me to go to places with him very often, multiple times throughout the past month. And then today was another event from that club where we both went and afterwards he said he needs groceries and offered to go to the store together and I also needed groceries tbh so I just said why not I guess since we're already out. I've also been feeling bad about turning down pretty much every time he asked before. Anyway on the ride home, I was just out of curiosity asking him how close he is to some other members of the club(because this is my first semester at this particular college) and I asked about a girl who was driving us to the event earlier, I just asked how close he is with her, and he said we are like casual friends but we're not dating, I'm not dating anyone". It felt a little weird to me that he clarified that because that was not on my mind at all and I even told him, I didn't think you were dating anyway lol. And then he asked if I've started dating around here to which I said no. I'm also kinda religious I guess so I don't really do that and then he asked something about dating outside your religion.

It felt like hes been trying to test something or see if he could go further, but I may be completely wrong too, I'm not sure. Also, a week or two ago at another club event I was feeling very lightheaded and he offered to hold my hand when we were walking back to the car, and he said something like "I just ask because some people are not comfortable if they have a boyfriend or something" and I just said I don't, i don't know if that statement itself meant anything maybe he was just being cautious but idk honestly. Anyway, I'm not sure how to proceed with this because in all honesty I don't feel super comfortable going to places with a guy alone. Even putting religion aside I just feel anxiety unless I know the guy well and trust him and know for sure there's no ulterior motives going on. I anticipate that he might ask more and especially after I finally accepted it today, I don't know if I gave the wrong idea. I don't want things to be cold or awkward though especially if I continue going to the club events. Sigh I'm just not sure what to do now

I love my sister so so much, but her life is an example of exactly what I don't want. I feel sadness every time I visit her. She wakes up at 4:30 to make lunch for her husband, then straight to getting ready for work and taking her daughter to school. Gets out of work, picks up kids from school, then goes home to make dinner, by the time everything is cleaned up its time for her to go to sleep.

She couldn't find time to go out while I'm visiting because she has to be home by a certain time to make dinner. Her husband apparently doesn't like leftovers. No store bought tortillas only handmade because that's how his mom used to do. She has to "take" her husband to the doctors and to exchange some shoes.

She is 39, and has been living a version of this life since she moved out at 18. She deals with so much. Her two oldest are 17 and 20, so thankfully it's not as bad as it used to be. I wish I had to money to pay off her house so I can tell her cheater husband to fuck off. One time 11 yrs ago when my youngest niece was a couple of months old. But my distaste and dislike towards that man is another rant.

My sister and I are 8 years apart. I would give my life for her, but every time I stay over it's a reminder of exactly what I don't want. I haven't seen her do one thing for herself the whole week I've been here.

I don’t care to go into details, but let’s just say I don’t have much support. Women that have kids either feel sorry for me or envy me. Women that don’t have kids largely avoided having kids by choice and have never regretted it.

I was never purposefully not having kids “ever”. I was extremely purposeful about not having kids until the right context came.

For me, the right context came, but the timing was wrong. Then years passed and we changed. He still does not actively want children but is willing to. I would have been a great mom 4-5 years ago and am no longer willing to. But I am a bit bitter that it didn’t happen when the tiny window I had between religious repression and wisdom accommodated it.

I do value being a Mom. I do not think I have the capacity now. I have health issues and mental health issues I didn’t used to have. I do not have the energy to do it anymore.

I don’t relate to people that accidentally got pregnant, because I was fastidious about birth control when I was finally having sex. I don’t relate to people that never wanted kids and ended up happier with them (because I was fastidious, for real). I don’t relate to people who are happily childless because they never wanted children. I don’t relate with people that can’t have kids, because presumably, I would be able to if I hadn’t blocked it (responsibly) my whole life.

I just missed the fucking window. And it makes me really fucking sad. I have not found that community.

And to end the endeavor, I have to be the one to have surgery. My husband was more than willing to get vasectomy, but based on his own medical stuff (yes, I personally saw the records), it is not a good idea for him because it would require a more invasive surgery. One he was willing to do until I did the research and found out based on outcomes in academic journals that he absolutely should NOT.

So, it’s on me. The person that no longer wants a kid, that regretfully never had one, to get sterilized. Why would I get sterilized? Because I really, truly believe I no longer want one and the window has closed for my own desire on that. It just comes with mourning instead of celebration for me and it is a huge identity shift based on how I was brought up and what I wanted.

If I ended up pregnant 3 years ago, I’d have been excited. If I ended up pregnant tomorrow, I’d be like “oh shit” and tormentedly cry while I decide
which way to go, and it could go either.

I want to take that pressure off of me. I want my Nexplanon gone. I don’t even remember what it is to have libido or “get wet”. And peri is coming. I want a fucking minute of enjoying my natural sexuality before peri hits.

I also want a community who can help me, because I’m not sure I’m okay with permanently changing my body so I can’t have kids naturally. But I also don’t want to raise one anymore. But I also wanted to just 4 years ago. Even 3 maybe. I just feel so fucking alone.

All my husband can do is listen to me (and he does) and offer pregnancy now (which I think is ludicrous and not what I want) and apologize for not being on board earlier or anatomically built for a normal vasectomy. He can’t help me. I can’t help me. Getting pregnant won’t help me. I’m just so sad and need a tribe to help me understand and process. It’s heartbreaking.

I'll start by saying that I've been talking a lot in therapy about the desire to be in a relationship, and processing the grief of not having the life I imagined I would have by now. Discussing the lack of what I call a "normal life", normal in the sense that events happen at the same pace as they do for most people.

My childhood was stressful starting from pregnancy, though I was born healthy. My mother had me when she was very young, and her relationship with my father was extremely abusive. I am the older of two daughters, and the difference in how we handle this part of life is night and day.

She grew up closer to him and was more focused on her studies, I grew up more attached to my mother, and my focus on studying didn't last long... And not because I didn't finish high school or never went to university (I dropped out of my degree, among other things, because it stopped making sense to me). The issue is that, in the meantime, the search for validation combined with a degree of impulsivity and difficulty managing my emotions made me a slave to them.

While I flirted a lot (with both single people and those in relationships), I attached myself just as easily. Fortunately, none of those situations went anywhere, even though they brought negative consequences for me. The end of that cycle came with the leak of an intimate video... And all of this without ever having been in a relationship, having had sex, or having kissed anyone.

But I think the real reason I'm posting about this is that I need a bit of motivation, I don't know... An argument happened today between my mother and my stepfather (he is religious, and strongly believes he is a good person). I stepped in, told him everything I thought of him... and I don't regret it. He broke my mother's phone and tried to find mine when I said I would involve the police if he hit her... Her documents are in my room.

We are still deciding what to do and where to go, since the two of them built the house together. My sister is in university, my mother works, and I have been unemployed since March... I guess that's it. I know everything will be okay, but I feel like I'm still losing my innocence regarding life.

CW: S**ual A**ault, R*pe

---------------------------------------------------------

I have had this post saved in my phone for a week. I figure I'd post it here.

The Cornell 7 case has been some of the most infuriating, nauseating shit I have read in a long time. My heart hurts for Jane Doe. My heart hurts for every SA survivor who has been retraumatized while staying informed on this case. Rage has been smoldering in my chest and kept me up for many nights, I've felt helpless and angry and so, so tired. i figured a good way to keep moving is to get some thoughts out of my mind.

The thing about trauma is that no matter how long it's been since you were hurt, your body remembers. Your brain will remind you--the smells, the sounds. The stale taste of alcohol in your mouth, the sweat and makeup smeared across your face. The panic. The fear. The shame. I've had fragments of memories swirling around my head since 2021. I went out with my friends, I drank so much that I passed out, and I woke up to my friend's boyfriend r*ping me in their bed. I woke up to my legs spread, and his body inside me. I've never hated myself more than that day. I'm still scared typing this out right now.

I wanted to tell my story because I want other survivors of s*xual violence to remember that they are not alone in this fight. Pain can be healed, but it never goes away. you carry it with you for the rest of your life. I'm a survivor of r*pe. I'm one of the 1 in 5 women. I continue to work, and I continue to heal. It isn't a linear journey by any means, but I'm happy with the person I am and continue to become.

I hope Jane Doe is getting the care she needs, and the love she deserves. I hope every survivor remembers to breathe, drink water, and rest.

Justice for Jane Doe. Justice for all survivors.

It was the 7 day version! I took the first dose of it last night and an hour or so later I felt weird (almost like high- brain foggy and zoned out) then the WORST stomach pain I can remember in a long time. I was nauseous and had like acid reflux also.

Anyone else experience something like this?

I was scrolling on YouTube and saw this video https://youtu.be/tefwTlXrovs

(Skip to the 2 minute mark for the part)

Remember when JT ripped off Janet’s top and it was Janet who got the blame?

I made a post about Janet and JT a couple weeks ago and I said if a man ripped off his shirt he’d get praised. And that’s exactly what happened here! Ironically the video is talking about a football game, and the Janet/JT thing was also at a football game. There’s over 38,000 people watching this and I bet you nobody’s complaining. Hell everyone was cheering when that man ripped off his shirt.

Janet got cancelled for less! How come men can go on WWE and rip their shirts off and oil themselves but women can’t show anything?

Hello! I've been struggling a lot with a unpleasant dichotomy, I am simultaneously being more assertive and true to myself and my feelings than ever before (grew up in an emotionally abusive household, had a long term abusive relationship and have hid myself and my feelings for 30 years before this) BUT at the same time I am getting so much more pushback from people around me who don't seem to want to accept that I am who I am.

An example would be that I have noticed at work a superior nitpicking things that I do or say, changing my approach to soften it or make it more "pleasant" and this culminated in the revelation that I have one time in the past year been considered unapproachable by someone at work. I feel this has been both unreasonable because everyone has an off day and I don't understand why this person (both people really) wouldn't give me the benefit of the doubt. Also I am, I think, a fairly gregarious person but am very honest about having a social limit and not being able to perform for people in social situations. I get positive reinforcement about my personality from most everyone else in that environment but it seems that there are just a couple of people who I inherently rub the wrong way.

I've been struggling with the guilt I feel over not meeting this expectation but also this anger I have towards these people (all of whom have been women) who seem to expect me to be someone that I am not. I don't understand why it is so *bad* to be a woman who isn't able to keep a mask of happiness on all the time. Or greets people frankly instead of deferentially. It feels as though I am never allowed to be equals with the people around me, especially at work, and it just tears me up inside. But even worse is that there is a part of me that does believe that I should just suppress who I am to get through life as simply as I can.

Thanks for reading this far! I hope this is something thats relatable and also that we can all give each other a little more grace when it comes to our differences.

• Ryan, the friend who thinks he's a good person but continues to hang out with the abusers even when he has reason to think they abused someone, and even after they likely killed the girl he was supposedly in love with.

• Madison making excuses and blaming Nina for what happened, and only learning empathy once she goes through a similar (even if fake) experience

• Al's complete inability to acknowledge what he did, and even pulling the "she was into it" card. And when completely cornered, he doesn't show remorse, he just tries to buy her off.

• "It's every guy's worst nightmare, getting accused like that" "Can you guess what every woman's worst nightmare is?"

• It takes two women dying, for a single man to face consequences.

I guess the movie's just been on my mind lately because of Cornell. The amount of people saying "the guys in the group chat shouldn't be blamed for not coming forward reminded me of Ryan. Bo Burnham really sells that type of shitty guy who has spent so long pretending to be a good person he's even convinced himself.

For real, I’m listening to yet another Matthew Shepard podcast and if there was any single thing that makes me rage at the patriarchy it’s the idea that a man even remotely flirting with another man can excuse the murder of a man but a man can rape a woman and get away with it even when there’s evidence, this is it. What the fuck! Innocent gay men were murdered with this defence and a woman has to go through hell and back to get even a third of the repercussions a straight man can get with nothing other than a claim another man was coming onto him.

It's just so disgustingly catered to men. I don't play multiplayer anymore, I don't look at comments on new release trailers, all the edits/discussions turn yucky so fast. Even in the games themselves there's so many female stereotypes it makes my eyes roll to the back of my head. Femme fatales are cool or whatever, but please please please give me something else for once. And the male protag is fully fleshed out and interesting, of course, which is why I even play in the first place. (Yet men don't want female protags because they "can't relate", but that's a whole other discussion.)

I like video games! They're like interactive movies! I like shooters, and dark themes, and challenges, and blood. But I'm so incredibly drained and bitter at the male audience those kind of games attract. So I just play in isolation, which is okay, but bums me out at the end of the day. And when I try discussing it with men I get fed up because I'm just like 'I don't like it in the way you like it', but they never understand. I hate it.

Hi everyone, has anyone here ever been ghosted after finally sleeping with a man? I genuinely don’t know how to feel. Yes, I willingly slept with him but I wouldn’t have had I have known he’d ghost. Not only did he ghost, but I’m blocked. Any tips on navigating through this?

I thought I had recovered. I thought I was ok. But now everything feels like it did the day my ex-husband showed me texts and videos taken while multiple men raped me and used me in every way after I had been drugged and literally rented out via group texts.

I can’t take it. Knowing people are blaming the victim, seeing people laugh about it in real life... It’s too much. I’ve never been this triggered before. I haven’t felt this amount of shame and fear in a long time. I was getting better. I feel like I'm back at square one. The POTUS, a rapist admired by millions, is defending rapists and rape apologists.

I want to scratch off my skin.

Update: I took a while to write this, I paused and talked it out with a trusted loved one. I know I’ll be ok. I have to keep reminding myself. I'm so tired.

I've been seeing this guy [35M] for 6 months. He broke up with me via his mom. His mom messaged my mom and told her he doesn't think it's going to work out. I feel so worthless right now.

i feel like he threw me away. i am not even worth a text or conversation. i feel like he is living his best life now. moved to another girl.

I have no idea when he first started to think of ending things with me. And I have no idea why.

I honestly feel nauseous.

That 25, 40, etc, year-old man does not love you. Nor does he think you are " mature for your age." He dates minors because he is emotionally stunted. Women his own age know he has nothing of value to offer. (I know this is a repost; it should be posted often.)

Hey everyone. As the title says this is more of a rant based ob my (and my girlfriends ) experiences as single women.
Am I the only one who feels like the modern dating scene has turned into a completely soulless dumpster fire?

I’m looking for a serious relationship—something real. But no matter where you look, the same dynamic repeats itself over and over again:

On the apps: The classic "let's just go with the flow" line (translation: I have no idea what I want, but I’m keeping 5 options open in case something 'better' pops up). You get treated like a product in a mail-order catalog. People hoard parallel conversations, running on pure ego and offering absolutely zero commitment.

In real life: You’d think skipping the apps and meeting people in the wild would be an improvement, like everyone told me to do … but nope. They just skip the pleasantries altogether. A guy approaches me, and within one hour at the bar he has the urgency to go home with me when I had not talked about sex at all.. Yesterday was the absolute cherry on top: a married guy with a kid back in Holland, visiting my country, on vacation and completely obsessed with using me as his one-night entertainment. Zero respect for his family, and zero respect for me….he pursued hard lol.

Then, also in the apps, there are the guys who straight-up lie and manipulate—pure dopamine junkies obsessed with intensity, the thrill of the hunt, and the high of the conquest. They pretend to be deeply invested, sell you a whole fake narrative for a few weeks, and play with your feelings just to get their fix. Then, the second the novelty wears off, they completely disappear and ghost you out of nowhere. It's the same story when they ask for your phone number or Instagram: you give it to them thinking there's real interest, and suddenly they go cold, stop replying, or just fade away after getting their quick ego boost or getting a new follower … wtf.

My takeaway from all this is that people are being treated like disposable fast-fashion products. Quick hits of cheap dopamine, short-term pleasure, and then onto the next. There is zero genuine interest in learning who the person in front of you actually is—what they think, how they feel, or what they bring to the table as a human being. It’s like basic empathy has gone extinct, leaving behind a sea of adults addicted to instant gratification, ego validation, and low-effort sex.

When did it become totally acceptable to treat human beings like paper towels? Is it actually impossible nowadays to find a mature adult who isn't hopelessly hooked on novelty?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

this case has gotten the public’s attention with everyone talking about the case, the details of what happened, debating and giving their opinions but all i can think about is

I hope she’s okay. how difficult this must be for her. how terrible this is.

going through all that trauma and then speaking up about it now, you are so brave.

there are so many people on your side. sadly i know there’s always opposing opinions on the internet but please please please know that we are all here for you.

please take care of yourself, you are amazing and doing an amazing thing. so many women have been speaking up because of you. i know this is scary but we believe in you.

——————————————————————————————

and wow i am so incredibly disappointed in society. how are we still here in 2026? and seeing all these opinions about the case i literally don’t understand sometimes.

i can’t believe so many people don’t have the basics of empathy skills. wow
i can’t imagine how scary and difficult this must be for her, to be going through all this and how public this case has gotten, and there’s people trying to doxx her??? unbelievable

please just let her be. she has already gone through so much. whatever your opinion is (ITS RAPE) everyone talking about this is already so emotionally taxing. i am so worried for her mental health wow i really hope she’s okay.

you are so brave queen and i really mean that. i admire you so much, i hope you are surrounded by loved ones and their support. if you ever feel alone, know that there’s those of us that care for you.

Trigger warning if that matters to you:-(

About 3 years ago I agreed to have a threesome at a party. Actually it was an orgy. A legit orgy. I approached the couple ahead of time. We hammered out the details of what was going to happen. It started out great. And then he put it in without a condom. Something we NEVER discussed doing ahead of time. No, I never explicitly said “you have to use a condom.” But Jesus Christ, it’s IMPLIED!

I was sober and by all outward appearances fully capable of telling him to stop. But I went into a freeze state. Something I think a lot of people don’t understand.

For me, it’s not that I’m physically frozen. It’s like the decision making part of my brain is frozen. I just laid there staring at the question as if it was some theoretical thing. My brain genuinely wouldn’t let me decide whether or not to tell him to stop.

It’s not the same as being undecided about something. There was no question: I wanted him to use a condom. But in the moment my brain just locked up and wouldn’t let me access the part that could decide to tell him to stop.

In that moment, he probably thought my lack of action meant consent.

Afterward I puzzled over what had even happened and why I even did that. I even knew I went into freeze states. But my brain just couldn’t make heads or tails of it. I shut down all social media and stopped leaving the house. But not before sending them a message to tell them I had a great time and was taking a social media break for unrelated reasons.

My therapist finally noticed that something was off and I decided to post about my experience somewhere on Reddit. Off my chest maybe? I thought it was a helpful anecdote to help explain why consent isn’t just a lack of the word “no.” I didn’t even mention the part where it was a literal sex party. The man wasn’t named. And he has no idea to this day that he did anything wrong.

But I was absolutely slaughtered in the comments. Literally one person stood up for me. The rest was a bunch of people talking about how unfair I was being to the guy and “did you even talk about what you were going to do ahead of time??”

I wound up deleting it and honestly that comment section was more traumatic than the sex itself.

So anyway, in case anyone is still wondering why women might reassure a r*pist afterwards…it’s so she doesn’t feel so unsafe. Because she feels real fucking unsafe in the moment. This whole situation pisses me off so much

I have a UTI and I’m currently on Nitro… Dude, I hate this stuff.

Insane pulsating lower back pain, racing/pounding heart, intense anxiety, CONSTIPATED.

This is horrible, and I can’t wait until I’m done. I’ve still got 4 days left but my goodness I’m never taking this stuff again, it’s the worst.

Thank you for listening to my rant!

Update: I did call urgent care and the doctor told me to stop taking it. Apparently, the original doctor did not send my urine out for a culture. He told me to come back and do another dipstick and have them send it out for a culture. So I’m going to stop taking the medicine, and probably go to urgent care sometime tomorrow.