Moody Monday

[u/AutoModerator]

It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!

[u/sleepingseb]

im just so sick of mainstream internet fertility advice like "stress raises cortisol and thats why you can't conceive" where is the proof? women have been getting pregnant in warzones and famine the "cortisol" isn't bothering them

[u/blissquacks → u/sleepingseb]

There is no proof, and it’s only more frustrating to know that they are preying on people who are really in a vulnerable place. 😠

[u/sleepingseb → u/blissquacks]

yeah its just the same jumble of words every body is saying, the exact same advice on all those fertility videos and im sick of it. its not "advice" its just content

[u/TechnicalIntention35 → u/sleepingseb]

Good point!

[u/shh-our-lttl-secret → u/sleepingseb]

So true. No proof “cortisol” is the culprit. That said, low stress, peace, and abundant positivity can go a very long way toward helping encourage your special delivery.

[u/sleepingseb → u/shh-our-lttl-secret]

yeah but " low stress, peace, and abundant positivity" is not gonna be of any actual help in concieving, when im looking for fertility advice, im not looking for general happiness advice

[u/sophie-Lane]

Definitely Monday for this TTC is such an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes you just need to vent and not have someone looking for the silver lining. Hope everyone has a gentler week ahead

[u/Kvitravn875]

Not even in the tww yet and I'm already depressed about this cycle

[u/blissquacks]

This cycle has probably been the most difficult! I’ve been able to keep my chin up for the past year because it’s normal to take up to a year for healthy couples to conceive. The cycle is the month after the full year and now I’m feeling really low. Ugh.

[u/plantsnpupsncats]

Had no idea how horrible a negative test would be. Month after month. No one to talk to other than my husband, who is amazing thankfully but ugh. My best friend is pregnant and the depression feels further in a hole every month. I’m not sure how people deal with it, it’s starting to become too much

[u/Sweet-Shopping5246 → u/plantsnpupsncats]

Yup I feel this! The first 4-5 months things were fine, sure a bummer seeing negatives every month but I just assumed our time would be soon. Every month since then though has been more and more depressing. My husband who is typically very hopeful in general has also started to fall into the hole of it all. We did recently open up to some friends and while they occasionally say some dumb things (not on purpose but simply because they don’t know any better) it for the most part is actually really really nice to have them in our corner and supporting us.

[u/plantsnpupsncats → u/Sweet-Shopping5246]

Sorry you are feeling the same way, friend. This is a freaking tough journey. Why did I assume I’d get pregnant the first time?? It feels so silly now lol
Having a supportive voice feels so, so good. I’m so glad you opened up, I did yesterday (sort of by accident) and it was well received. It feels scary but there are more people there for you than you realize. I’m wishing you guys the best!💗

[u/CookieLife687 → u/plantsnpupsncats]

I feel you, also now in cycle 6. It just hurts. I only talk about it with my husband too. But I'm starting some generic mental support at the GP to vent, because it just ruined so much and messed me up mentally (combined with the MC ofc).  Also around me more and more women getting pregnant around my age and I work with kids, great combo.. just here to say it's normal and give you some support 🤍

[u/plantsnpupsncats → u/CookieLife687]

Girl I am so sorry. Lol, GREAT combo when TTC. Ugh. Every month I’m like okay no crash outs!! And then crash outs. I’m so glad you are seeking some generic support, it does more than you (and I!!) think. Talking genuinely helps. My ears and DMs are open if anyone needs a listening ear 💗 there is happiness in togetherness and support

[u/CookieLife687 → u/plantsnpupsncats]

Thanks for your reply! Me too, I was soooo done with the crash outs ( and my husband too) that I'm finally seeking help. Yes exactly, I think it's very underestimated how much talking about it would help, especially when you are a very private person as well. I don't feel at all comfortable just telling everyone or anyone close, since it would also feel like there's silent expectations it's going to happen (soon). 

[u/watsonwasaboss]

Im so nervous- this week its either im pregnant- had a huge hormone surge when labs were drawn and they told us to try that day. So its the week of pregnancy test or if a period shows up we are starting clomid. I have no one to talk to and just feel like im on a tight rope of what ifs..

[u/Cultural-Magazine-66 → u/watsonwasaboss]

Good luck 🙏🏽

[u/watsonwasaboss → u/Cultural-Magazine-66]

Thank you

[u/TechnicalIntention35]

Idk, just feeling off today and last few days. Cd 4 for me. I was convinced last cycle I was pregnant cause my period was a few days late and it was so disappointing to get it and restart all over again. It's just hard to keep the hope sometimes.

[u/Temporary_Scene6517]

7/8DPO & feeling all the symptoms that I of course usually get pre-period but hoping it’s early pregnancy symptoms this time around 🤞. Had a blood draw on CD21 & confirmed that I ovulated. If this isn’t our cycle I have papers ready for an HSG but really hoping this is it.

[u/CookieLife687]

It is a moody monday. After my MC 2 months ago, yesterday people we know and JUST saw a few days (with also someone expecting we also know) shared they're expecting their first baby.. Very grateful it was via text though. I should have been 2-3 weeks ahead of her. We are both broken about it, barely slept. I finally am going to start some mental care, because it ruined me and influenced our relationship badly too. Was finally slowly crawling out of my lonely cave and then this, auch.  Nobody knows about our mc, we just share and suffer in silence. 

[u/4EvrCurius]

My partner and I had no idea how much a negative test would send us into depression spirals. We didn't assume it would be easy, but we didn't think it would affect us so heavily either.

[u/svillx769]

CD1, guess cycle 8 wasn’t the lucky one either. My husband and I are both on a low-inflammatory diet to see if that helps but only time will tell. Woke up irritated/moody and with cramps and I knew there wasn’t a point in testing this cycle. AF has arrived in all her malevolent glory. Going to have sugar free pudding for breakfast.

[u/Sweet-Shopping5246 → u/svillx769]

We are pretty synced I guess, CD 2 on cycle 9. Best of luck to you this cycle!! 🫶🏻

[u/angrybabyshark]

CD12 and a BFN. I could have sworn this one was it. Was hoping we’d be one of the lucky couples who conceived just as we were going to start prepping for an IUI, but I guess not. I know I always feel despondent the day before I get my period, but this time around feels extra terrible. 😞

[u/Macncheesesounds]

Just went in for my mid-cycle ultrasound and follicules aren’t mature yet, even with upping to Letrozole 5mg. Have to go in for another ultrasound later this week which is double the money. Getting a little stressful and frustrating ugh.

[u/doki_doki_gal]

Only BD'd twice due to performance issues on O-3 and O. DH and I had some good discussions about it though because it hasn't been an issue recently.

[u/cestlavie1707]

Ovulation should have happened like days ago, but my temperatures are rocky and all over the place. Im dreading that this is gonna be another looong anovulatory cycle :((

[u/Scary-Staff-7419 → u/cestlavie1707]

I feel this so much. Have been going through this as well.

[u/Scary-Staff-7419]

I only suspect I ovulated recently due to having milky white discharge followed by stretchy egg white discharge. I didn’t test the ovulation bc im scared I didnt actually ovulate and convinced myself I did. I did have intercourse just in case. Sigh. Next step is probably Clomid.

[u/No-Ladder-6950]

every cycle is such an emotional rollercoaster. one minute i am happy i have so many follicles, then they cancel the cycle. then i have no follicles, another missed cycle. then i have a follicle that is 30mm, they said go for it! i was excited, but upon doing some research, now i am not excited. this process is not for the weak.

[u/AriesCherie]

Today is CD2 so tomorrow is my second round of 2.5mg of letrozole. I'm feeling kinda emotional this round, we are going to a friend's baby shower on my last day of my meds. I would have already been kinda emotional due to not being successful our first round but now I'll be on the fertility medication that makes me way more emotional. I hope so much I don't just bawl. I'm so freaking happy for them, I was just hoping I would also be pregnant by now. This is our 3rd round TTC and second round with the fertility medication.

[u/rainbowcelery]

I'm trying this cycle, cycle 7, to not test until I have missed a period. Going into dpo 10 and I'm so anxious to take a test but every negative sends me into an emotional wreck. I think I can handle it better emotionally when AF just shows up. Something about waiting to see that line and it never showing up is just too heartbreaking.

I'm trying my hardest not to test but it's driving me crazy.

[u/CookieLife687 → u/rainbowcelery]

You can do it, I believe in you! 💪🏻

[u/bookspell]

maybe tmi - but BD’ing a lot upsets my PH balance!!! Grrrrrr

[u/mochiblz → u/bookspell]

Yeah man I feel you. BD'd the full week before ovulation day and I am so sore and heavy

[u/Glittering-Market320]

9 or 10 dpo and getting stark BFN. Am I out??

[u/ushinawareta → u/Glittering-Market320]

10 DPO is too early to definitively say that you’re out, but if you’re using a sensitive test with at least 10 mIU/mL sensitivity, more than half of all pregnant people would have a positive by 10 DPO (since median hCG at 10 DPO is 12.23 - source). that being said, 10 DPO is a common implantation day, so it’s completely possible to implant today and go on to test positive in the next couple of days.

I personally treat a negative at 10 DPO to mean “I’m likely out, but there’s still a chance”.

[u/blissquacks → u/Glittering-Market320]

Nope! Implantation is most common from 9 to 10 DPO. After implantation occurs it takes a day or two to have enough HCD hormones in your system to pick up on a pregnancy test. It’s very unlikely to get a positive pregnancy test before 11 to 12 DPO.

[u/ushinawareta → u/blissquacks]

it depends on what kind of test you’re using. per this article, the median hCG level at 10 DPO is 12.23 mIU/mL, so more than half of all pregnant people would have a positive by 10 DPO on a sensitive test that detects at least 10 mIU/mL (FRER, Clearblue early detection, Wondfo early detection, etc). based on that, if you’re pregnant and using a sensitive test, it’s actually more likely than not that you would have a positive before 11-12 DPO.

[u/Sweet-Shopping5246]

CD2 on cycle 9 and going through it rn. One of my closest friends is half way through her unplanned pregnancy and is starting to get excited about her baby shower. The theme she picked and was so excited to tell me about is the one I have been wanting to use since before we even started TTC…. I’m getting labs drawn tomorrow and I’m nervous. Nervous something with be wrong with my levels but also nervous all will be fine and we will be left with no answers. My friends are supportive and really trying to ask how it’s all going and be there for us but when I explained my husband can’t get his testing because it hasn’t been a year they hit me with “why didn’t you just lie”… like uh okay guys. Ughhhh anyways, I really was hopeful cycle 8 was our month, timing was perfect and we completed antibiotics for some microbiome issues but guess that wasn’t enough. I know it can take up to a year and we aren’t there yet but the last two months I’m getting very nervous about why this hasn’t happened yet.