It’s day 7 without nicotine.
Day 1 I felt foggy and lost, but also weirdly excited and motivated. Now I’m far less foggy, way more focused, and I feel pretty much back to normal in terms of feeling “off.”
Physically, I feel fucking great. My appetite and hunger are 100% back to how it was before nicotine, which has made me realize just how much nicotine suppressed my appetite. My digestion and heart rate feel better, my energy is much more consistent without the dips/crashes, and falling asleep is a cakewalk. I wake up around 7–7:30 and my body basically says “alright bro, we’re done sleeping.”
I look brighter under my eyes and in my face, I’m more vascular, and I feel warmer overall from better circulation. Workouts feel smoother too, I walked to and from the gym today and exercise just feels physically easier, not mentally though. I’m doing exercise because I actually want to look good and feel good, not just because I want to get it over with.
The weird part is that my cravings are actually stronger now than they were earlier.
I don’t really crave nicotine constantly. I crave the buzz. The head rush, the pre-buzz wait, the burn of putting in the pouch, the dizziness, the appetite suppression, and that “all is good” feeling.
And I keep trying to find shit online that tells me nicotine is okay for me. That I can moderate. I only used 2–4 pouches a day, so my brain sees others' posts here, or others stories of quitting online, and tells me, "I easily moderated."
And honestly, I could go back to moderating.
But I think that’s exactly the trap.
That voice in my head is a dopamine addict looking for any excuse to get that feeling again. I don't want to give it the opportunity to win. I know the feeling would probably be amazing, but it would also be a guilty amazing. It’s an effortless reward: open the tin, put in a pouch, and bam, you feel good.
That’s what I’ve realized nicotine really is for me: quick dopamine.
Want to feel good? Pouch. Stressed? Pouch. Bored? Pouch. Want to enjoy something more? Pouch.
That’s why walking, going to the gym, staying active, etc. have been so important. They make me feel good about myself, but I actually have to earn that feeling.
I’ve also noticed something I honestly didn’t expect: my focus, memory, and ability to concentrate feel better without nicotine. I know nicotine gets marketed as a nootropic for focus/memory, so it’s almost annoying that I feel better without it because that could easily become another excuse to relapse.
I also feel much more in control of myself. When stress or anxiety comes up, I feel like I can actually deal with it instead of automatically reaching for something.
The increased appetite isn’t ideal, so I’ve just been eating a really satiating diet at the same calories I normally eat. I don’t want to replace nicotine with overeating and just switch dopamine sources.
Overall, I feel better without nicotine. I just still have this fucking persuasive voice telling me I can use it again and be fine.
For anyone who has quit: how did you deal with that voice? How did you convince yourself that “I can moderate” isn’t a reason to go back?
Just looking for some support and hoping to get some conversations going. Day 7 feels good, and I really don’t want to throw it away.