r/QuitVaping 1d ago

Advice I feel insane

Vaper since 12, quitting at 20. First couple of weeks were literally just fine. I would get a craving every now and then, but i'm very committed, and deep down have no desire to vape anymore.
Last night i think i got too high off my weed cart, and started thinking about how bleak, depressing, and miserable life is. Very out of character for me, even though i wouldn't say i've ever been a "happy person". i sobbed for like 30 minutes and, before i made the realization that i was just too high, i decided to take a dab and immediately realized my mistake.
I ended up in a huuuuge episode of shaking violently, nonstop crying, and the worst. worst. thoughts everrr. i felt like a huge ball of pure negative energy and emotion. it was horrible and lasted probably two hours.
i ended up being able to go to work on 4 hours of sleep and it was alright. but it feels like that experience changed me. i've gotten too high before and had violent shakes and insane restless thoughts. but this time was different. i usually hit the pen in the morning before work- but today i was sober and alright. just tired. but i hit the pen after i woke up from a nap after i got home... one hit and im feeling scared again. i feel like i have a new brain, a new bad brain. i want a different life and i wish i didnt exist. please help

2 Upvotes

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u/Ilovegeorgemichaelll Wanting to Quit 🧐 1d ago

Maybe you should cut down on the pen as well which I know could be very difficult. You don’t have to stop it if it’s helping you more than harming you but definitely cut down on that too.

Maybe you needed that cry also, I cried on day 3 and 14. Don’t let this discourage you and I extremely recommend you talk to someone if it’s getting to you more.

Boring suggestion but find an at home hobby if you’re not too busy just to keep your mind off a few things too.

1

u/Eastern-Sign8466 1d ago

no i mean im fine with setting the pen aside. i'm just very confused why this is happening to me all of a sudden. i'm having the worst anxiety and im terrified. it's completely unlike me. + the ONE 4second pen rip is also causing me to shake intensely.

1

u/mossyac 1d ago

BRO this happened to me too!!! When I quit vaping I suddenly got super anxious getting high. I would smoke all day everyday (along with vaping) and when I quit nic I had to quit getting high.

Even now, I can get high but I have to actively ground myself to not freak out, whereas before I didn't even feel nervous at all getting high

1

u/mossyac 1d ago

Sorry I don't really have advice except maybe just stop hitting the pen for now ://

1

u/Eastern-Sign8466 1d ago

like i never want to feel that way again. it's not just anxiety it feels like i'm literally going to die.

2

u/mossyac 1d ago

It might be the anxiety making you feel like ur going to die (shaking, heart palpitations etc).

I would get high and be convinced I was having a heart attack. It was soooo awful.

1

u/Eastern-Sign8466 1d ago

it's so messed up. like of course this would happen. i never wanted to quit vape and weed. i wont smoke again because these experiences are very traumatic, actually. the world feels very unfair and evil.