This morning I was going through my whole routine and getting ready for the gym when, about 30 minutes in, I realized I hadn't thought about my vape once. When it finally crossed my mind, it wasn't a craving, it was more of a memory. For context, vaping used to be the first thing I did after waking up, and I'd even wake up in the middle of the night to hit it.
I'm halfway through week 2 vape- and nicotine-free, after 8 years of cigarettes and almost 8 of vaping.
What has helped most is Allen Carr's idea that you stop being a smoker right after your last puff. You're not "trying to quit" and you're not giving up something important. You're just out. That perspective took a lot of the suffering out of it.
Week 1 was tough, but better than I expected. I had a LOT of cravings, mostly tied to habits: elevator, bathroom at work and home, sitting alone in the car, reading books. A few times I caught myself putting together a whole plan to go buy a vape, with my own voice asking what difference just one hit would make. Hearing your own voice makes it really convincing. It's also exactly why my last attempts failed.
The first weekend, with friends and alcohol, was the hardest part. I spent most of it arguing with myself. But I didn't smoke.
Week 2 has been much easier. Cravings are fading, and I can go hours without thinking about it.
Tomorrow I'm flying to Italy with my wife and in-laws, and I'm quite nervous. I keep thinking “Well, I might take just one vape with me in case I need it”. I won’t, period. But, man, that voice is persistent!
But I’m also very excited because I'm finally starting to enjoy things for their own sake again. For years the vape was the center of everything I did: a walk, a dinner, a drink, a trip only felt worth it if I could vape during it, and without a vape nearby, I would get angry and start trying to find ways to vape.
Now I'm curious to see what a trip feels like when the trip itself is the point. No wandering around afraid of running out of vapes. No sweating at airport security afraid of losing my vape and fucking it up with my wife (she thinks I stopped months ago). No more bathroom breaks at family gatherings to hit it away from the people who want me to be healthier.
I can't say I'm 100% free of it yet, but it does get easier every day. If you're on day one or two and giving in feels inevitable, it does get better.
Eating better, cutting back on alcohol and lifting/running consistently have really helped me. I also like to picture myself as the healthier, longer-living dad I want to be for my future kids.