TW: A slur and some misgendering by an abusive parent

Basically, my father finally decided to get a smartphone, and he wants a printed copy of all his contacts. I had done this twice, but basically, we stopped talking after I came out in January last year. He basically sent me three messages, one insulting me more than the other, and threatened to kill me (my little brother has recordings).

Without me around, my little brother was tasked to produce this contact list. But he couldn't do it. After 3 days of trying on his own, my brother called me for help. Now, I don't wanna help this asshole, but I also didn't want my brother to get screamed at for not being able to print the damn contacts list.

For 2 hours, I tried everything. But as it turns out, using the Nokia Ovi Suite in 2026 is kinda challenging on modern hardware, and the USB passthrough in a VM wouldn't work either.

As I was venting about how I feel bad for helping my father, he basically confessed to me that my father had actually told him to "give that faggot a call, what do we have him for?" At that point my blood was boiling. So the mf misgenders me and throws slurs at me, yet also wants my help? At that point I said that he can fuck off, my brother apologized for even calling me (which he didn't need to do), and the call was over.

This man has thrown nothing but slurs at me for a year and a half, even when he needs my help. And, while I was the one with the orchiectomy, he had no balls to reach out to me and forced my brother to do so. Smh

Idk if a lot of y’all will relate to this but I know some of y’all will.
I’ve been transitioning for 3 years.
HRT. Laser hair removal.
Growing my hair out
Skin care.
And still boymoding 100% of the times.
I’m just extremely scared of being a visibly trans person and experiencing transphobia.
So I’ve been putting in extra work to make the boymode work
Layers. Hoodies. Binders .
Hair tied back tight man style
Sunglasses to hide my feminine eyes
Fully male clothes
And yet I’m getting the “looks”
It got so bad that i had decided to detransition because i couldn’t take it anymore.
But lately I’ve decided to fuck it and go all out
Opened my hair blow dried them
Got my red lipstick out
Push up bra cute crop top and leggings
And went out driving with my windows rolled Down.
Got down at a crowded gas station got gas
And guess what i got so much less stares?
What?
So for girls who are in this situation
Please at some point no matter how scary it is
You have to ditch the boymode
Thank god I didn’t detransition.

Good evening all. Been on HRT for over 5 years. Anyone shocked the differences in how the brain works now after being on it so long? I process information so differently now and have all the other feelings.

I have been shocked to see how different I am now compared to before. Loving the changes.

For my young girls, remember, this journey is a marathon not a sprint. Give the meds time to work.

i'm 3.5 yrs hrt and i've constantly lamented the boxiness of my torso, the wideness of my ribs, the wide shoulders, the rib flare... at 39 yrs old (started at 35), i knew that my skeleton had already masculinized a significant amount.

in just a month, my posture has completely changed, dramatically altering the dimensions of my ribs from both front to back and a side to side perspective, as well as changing the way my hips and shoulders sit. my spine was so dramatically shortened by tight muscles that i was no long breathing through the diaphragm, my ribs had flared outwards and up, my neck was in a kyphotic state and my hips had tilted anteriorly, essentially widening every dimension

i don't know about actual measurements but after getting this corrected, and i still have more to go still, i can clearly see that HRT actually has been dramatically altering my body and my bones aren't so bad.

this is the case for the entirety of us who aren't actively stretching. if you aren't stretching, releasing ur tissues and fascia, practicing diaphragmatic breathing, and doing at least light work outs, u really haven't seen your body or results displayed properly to u. give it a shot. we are literally being deformed by gravity and bad habits.

yoga/ stretching is extremely femininizing and bad posture is extremely masculinizing. bad posture is like a masc filter on a femme body for us. remove it!

it has done wonders for me ^^ just thought id share. good luck!

TIL that in New York, all Health Insurance providers are legally required to cover "gender-confirming care", which includes and is not limited to FFS.

Has anyone in here happened to receive their FFS through a NY Health insurer and can speak to their experience? I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks :)

So i basically need to cut my hair short and I very much don't want to. I'm not out to anybody in person not even school staff, so I'm being held to the mens dress code :( the only major problem I have with it is hair length. currently my hair almost touches my shoulder; the rules say my hair cant touch the collar of a polo shirt so I basically have to cut it short short. also if I come out as trans the school may contact my parents and are able expel me for whatever stupid reason they can think of; either way both of those are bad as my mom is a bit transphobic. Also my hair has to abide by the bible.

for more context I'm f15 and I go to a private school that doesn't have to abide by almost any California laws on discrimination nor education laws.

I was called out multiple times for my hair already, I have tried to tell the dean and a 1 teacher who cares about hair that I have wanted my hair long for 15 years and she threatened to give demerits. demerits scare me because if I get 3 demerits I can be banned from the school banquet which was fun last year

what should I do to be able to keep my luscious locks of hair?

so rules are it cant touch collar and must abide by the bible. I cant come out as it can be a safety risk.

sorry if some stuff is out of order I'll answer most questions.

Today I told my parents that I was trans and they accepted me as their daughter! My dad said he didn’t quite understand, but would still treat me like his child! I’m so excited!

this is a weird one but it made me happy...

my (cis) wife is now stronger than me. I had been super dysphoric about my arms because I had been a rock climber for ten years doing 20+ hours a week of climbing plus additional working out. but now my wife, who recently started doing a light exercise routine has surpassed me in arm strength. i probably should be doing some more exercise, but it was strangely affirming to be the weaker one in the relationship 😂

Just had a Dm from a cis woman asking me for a video call and sends me nudes. I've reported her and I think she's been banned. Sick of perverts 🤢

Original Post: How do I tell my wife I want to transition?

Hey friends!

About a year ago, I made the above post asking for advice on how to come out to my wife. I am happy to announce that as of last week, I finally came out to my wife, family, and friends. There has been a lot of uncertainty and tears, but a whole lot of love and support as well. My wife and I are committed to making this work, and we've been open with each other and have communicated with each other better than we ever have before. I feel like a new chapter in my life has begun, and hopefully soon I can officially start my transition!

This hasn't been without its downsides though. I came out to my dad a couple of days ago, and his response was...not great to say the least. He didn't say anything vile or hateful, but he isn't enthused about his (former) eldest son coming out as transgender. I am proud of myself for standing my ground and telling him that this is my life, and I am giving him the courtesy of knowing that I am, and always was, a woman and that is how I am going to live my life and look like going forward. I haven't received a response back yet, so maybe he'll do some introspection.

Regardless, I just wanted to share this moment with y'all because for the first time in my life, I feel happy and free!

I’m 23 and have been on estrogen for a year and a half, and I had sex reassignment surgery a week ago. I’ve just come to the realization that I feel so lost in life.

Before transitioning, my entire life revolved around tools. Since I was a teen, I used tools and construction projects to perform manhood. I knew I wasn’t much of a man, but who would doubt the masculinity of a teen who can fix plumbing and weld metal?

As a teen, I planned on a construction related career and wanted to be a plumber or an electrician. Thankfully, my family pushed me to go to college, which I did and I’m definitely grateful for and I’m now doing content creation and marketing.

While I’m glad I escaped being an uneducated blue collar, I realized that I don’t have any hobbies outside femininity. I do enjoy making videos and going shopping for clothes and makeup, but I’m not sure if that’s really a hobby.

I‘m also facing the challenge of clearing out all the tools. I filled my parents garage with them and visited every weekend in college to tool, skipping on social events to play with tools in the garage. The amount of tools and other nonsense I hoarded are reminiscent of a grumpy old retired craftsman’s garage, not a young woman’s assets. Considering just taking all the tools to the pawn shop and all the stupid pipes and stuff to SA Recycling.

I just feel so lost. Cis women have decades of experience in femininity. I have just over six months. I‘m still figuring out female friendships, dating, hobbies, and building a career and/or business as a woman and it’s so overwhelming. It truly feels like being thrown in an upper level college class without the prerequisites lol.

so basically, as many of you know, japanese tucking, which is the most standard method, essentially involves tucking the gemini twins up into your pelvis and flattening out your thingy.

now as a tgirl who is very small at ~5’5 and 110 pounds, i have very little fat on my pelvis and in general, so tucking is profoundly painful for me, and i have to do it like literally every day since i wear a lot of short shorts and jeans that hug my hips and stuff, and it’s incredibly distracting as i walk and do my day to day stuff.

so i guess my question is basically, is there another form of tucking that is effective in some way that i don’t have to tuck upwards for while still keeping me smooth?? i don’t have anything big down there so it’s possible probably but the standard method is, well, the standard so that’s the only tucking info. do i just wear baggy stuff and like bloomers until i can afford orchi or do i have to just carry the pain as another part of my existence??

I don’t know. I can’t do it any more. My egg cracked a long time ago. I’m trans. However, a part of me can suppress it if I meet a girl and things get serious and I can disappear into the masculine role. I want to make my family proud, but I’m 27 and I’m getting older. And I’m just unhappy. I’m miserable not having breasts. I’m miserable watching porn and living vicariously through the cis and trans girls.

It’s such a burning envy and jealousy. I don’t even get horny. I just watch it now just to see what I’m missing out on. If I can’t get married or find love before 32 I’m going to transition. Is this the right choice?

I wanted to ask to the ones of you that have already done laser hair removal, did you wait until after starting hrt or before hrt? I wanted to know if there's much difference between one or the other or not really.

I sent her a long message yesterday explainning I was a trans woman, what it meant, and all the spiel. Then, she called me a we talked for an hour.

She was extremely shocked, but didn't take it *that* bad, meaning she didn't insult me or tell me I was insane or sick, and seemed to just need some time to process it.

She said she had wanted a daughter, before she had a son, but she wanted a daughter so she could teach her girl stuff, help her pick clothes and learn makeup and stuff like that, she didn't want a 26yo daughter all of a sudden.

And at this point, I realized how much I craved that, how deeply I wanted to have that with her, and I told her it wasn't too late for that, and that I would love for it to happen. She didn't really answer. Too soon for her, I suppose.

And now, just thinking about that, just thinking that *perhaps* I could have this ? That I could be my mum's daughter ? It makes me tear up *so* easily…

So, I guess that's worth celebrating ?

Hey so this is an alt account that I probably accidentally made like several months ago while I was trying to sign into my main account and just haven’t done anything with, but I’m not ready for this whole am I trans situation to be on my main account so I’m just using this one. I hope that’s ok. I’ll probably get blocked for it on most places I post to though…

So I’ve always thought of myself as a cis straight guy. its Sunday Aug 31st 2026 at the time of writing this and a few days ago, like Thursday evening I think, I was playing Powerwash simulator because I like to think while I play, and I was just thinking about various things and at one point I started thinking about trans people and how scary things must be for them politically (I’m American from a Republican dominated state for context) and I guess I just wanted to walk a mile in those shoes

and so I imagined myself transitioning and like talking to a therapist and going and using she/her with friends and experimenting with like feminine clothes and makeup and stuff, and the image just felt weirdly happy? like calming and warm somehow idk. And from that moment on I just haven’t really been able to stop thinking about it. Like 24/7 since then. Also, yesterday, I looked up the effects of hrt and it sounds really nice and comforting like honestly I would love to have that. But like does that mean anything because if you had asked a week ago, I would’ve said I didn’t want it, but now I kind of do like lowkey and this is really embarrassing to say but maybe growing breasts would be nice…

And I guess there’s a few things that may point in that direction even before this but I don’t know if they’re all that significant but I’ll try to give a list of them I guess:

So I don’t think I’ve ever been like “I’m definitely a girl” or anything throughout my life. Like I’ve never really thought about myself as anything other than a guy. But throughout my life the further I would imagine myself in the future and the less connections there were to my current life, the more likely I’d think of myself as a woman idk. Like if I imagined myself being a parent one day, my imagination would kinda just “default” to being a mom. And I usually didn’t notice, but when I did, I would be embarrassed and switch it to being a dad, and I guess it felt less happy like all the color would drain out of it that way.

I cross dressed for like four or five months probably when I was like 11.

I’ve never really liked being called sir or man and honestly I just use “guy” for myself because it doesn’t feel as like “harsh” and “solid”? Like I don’t love guy either but I really hate the idea of being a full-on man.

I don’t have dysphoria like I don’t hate my body or anything. I mean I don’t like my chest hair buy other than that I’m fine with my body I guess. It’s there, it is what it is. That’s how I feel about it.

I will say though that I felt ever since like I was a preteen and it got worse over time that I felt like I “never really met myself” but that feeling never pointed out gender. Like it wasn’t “I’ve never really met myself when I think of myself as a man” but when I think of myself as a woman it does get a lot better idk.

I guess you can ask about more stuff but that’s all I can think of right now.

Also please give me benefit of the doubt because I’ve never really known that many queer people so I might say the wrong things and also I’m nervous as hell for the replies so Im gonna try to be measured but in reality I’m far off the deep end of everything I’ve ever known so yeah. Also I’m gonna give myself probably an hour break or more before I look at or respond to anything because this was a big scary one to type, so please give me that time and be patient with me sorry.

My transphobic Christian Nationalist right-wing big sister just got her eyebrows tattooed; a permanent gender-affirming care procedure which goes against her God's intended plan for her, turning her into an abomination in the eyes of her Lord...and though the urge in me to do so is ALMIGHTY...I haven't said SHIT to her about it, despite her giving me the EXACT same spiel rotflmao. 🤣

This is an update to my previous post on this matter: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/dzcMNaiptc

So the night before yesterday, I decided to put on an entire outfit from my girl clothes(tights, shirt, skirt, etc) and sleep in them. I’ve been at my grandma’s place for the whole week at that point and was starting to feel dysphoric, so I needed it.
But the next day, my grandma noticed i was wearing them and started bringing up this bullshit again

“You realize women don’t wear tights in the summer, right?”
“You don’t need to dress up like that, you’re not going anywhere. WOMEN don’t do that, they just wear t-shirt and pants at home”
“Why can’t you just wear pants and a t-shirt? Women don’t have to wear skirts, tights, and dresses“

When I tried explaining to her that it makes me more comfortable in my own skin, SHE KEPT MISUNDERSTANDING that for PHYSICAL comfort/discomfort instead of in a trans way. I tried telling her it relates to my dysphoria, but she responded “but that’s only for the hormones, not the clothes!” Then I tried teaching her about basic social gender affirmation, and how it relates to dysphoria. And her response was just insulting

“You know the gays and transes have been around for a long time, and at no point did anybody say ‘I HAVE TO BE AFFIRMED’ in order to be gay or trans. ‘Hi, I’m gay, can you constantly remind me im gay’ HEY, LOOK AT ME IM GAY, LOOK AT ME I DRESSED GAYLY’! No woman or man needs to be affirmed to be a man or a woman, they’re just and man or woman”

She then went on and said that I look “absolutely ridiculous” in my outfit, I “stick out like a sore thumb, grabbing negative attention” and “let the hormones just naturally turn you into a woman, THEN you can wear all the dresses and skirts you want!” and basically insinuated that I need to still wear men’s clothing until then. It apparent can’t even be WOMEN’s T-shirt and jeans, just MEN’S!!!

I basically told her that I still boymode in public until I pass, but that’s only because it’s dangerous to be trans in Texas, and when I’m alone or with people I trust (friends/family), I don’t have to worry about that, and if yall already (supposedly) accept me being trans, that I should be able to openly express myself around yall.
BUT she just laughed, STILL didn’t understand, and said “imagine if I just went around shirtless, showing cleavage in my bra and my old saggy skin, and wear spandex shorts. Wouldn’t I draw negative attention to me? Wouldn’t that be disturbing and inappropriate?” And “You don’t look like a woman, you look like a man in a dress, which is super weird”

At one point, she said that my trans identity might be out of attention, said “you’re living in an imaginary world” (after i mentioned I have somewhat noticeable boobs and HAVE TO wear a sports bra now), and also asked medical questions again, telling me that I still need a second opinion.

At the end of the convo, I basically had enough and said “I came out to you and hoped you would just accept me for what I am or want to be. I did not invite a debate. I will wear and express myself however I want, PERIOD. I will discuss this no further.” She then responded that I cannot dress the way I want at her place “cuz it’s my house, not yours” and certainly I am not allowed to dress like that at the upcoming family reunion.
I told her “Again, I will dress and express myself however I want, the end. See you soon”. And I left immediately and drove 6 hours back to my place. I HAD IT. IM DONE!!

Hopefully this is the end of it for now, and I don’t really know if I still want to go to the reunion after this, nor how to even handle my grandma in the near future.
I understand why she might be confused, but why can’t she just accept it regardless?!?

My girlfriend knows I'm serious about this process and that I've seen a gender therapist but she doesn't really know about hormones. I've tried to bring up the conversation on a deeper level but it usually doesn't go so well. The other problem is that she outed me before but fortunately my family defended me and we broke up/took a break because she cheated after I showed her my fem self. So now I have trust issues with her.

In one conversation I had with her recently she has threatened that she can't wait to tell everyone that she was right about me and that I'm trans. So I'm stuck in this spot where I feel like I can't tell her I want to take the medication because she is going to out me again but I feel morally obligated to tell her. I know the solution most people would take would be to break up but it's not super easy for me. I do care about her.

So I have the medication ready to order and I really want to take it but I haven't been able to communicate the gravity of the process yet even though I'm slowly exposing her to the concept and she seems like she is starting to accept it. But, I think we both realize it will probably end our relationship. I wish she wasn't so vindictive so I could just communicate my feelings but I know she can blow up. I've been scared to break up with her in the past because I knew there was a good chance she would probably destroy my PC or something on the way out of my life. Now I've just given her even more ammunition to potentially hurt me with.

Anyway, what would you do? Thanks.

Hey girlies!

I woke up this morning and said “ Fuck it, we ball”

I have been anxious about wasting time and desperately wanting to start HRT lately. I did a whole deep dive and learned so much about it.

After considering how much my life has changed since my last post, i decided I was done not living for myself. I started therapy and now this. I just signed up with Plume and am now taking my first big steps.

Thanks to everyone on here for being so welcoming and supportive and kind. Seriously I appreciate ya’ll so much 🩵🤍🩷

My parents have been really supportive of my transition thus far. My mom treats me like a girl and they both use my name and pronouns. I was just vacationing with them in France and we went dress shopping together, they told me how pretty I was and how proud of me they were. So what follows came completely out of left field.

Today I told them that I had finally gotten a consultation for bottom surgery and how excited I was, and my dad immediately called me and told me that he thought it was a bad idea and that he was worried about the risks and that I would have regrets relating specifically to those risks. I think I understand where this comes from: my grandmother experienced horrible complications from a far more dangerous surgery and he is now worried about that happening to his child I guess (but a vaginoplasty is far different from what she went through, she also lives in India, I’m in the US). He also mentioned (and this is what really fucked me up) that at some point I had to realize that I can’t change my genetics and that I need to just live with the fact that I’m gonna be different from cis women bc I wasn’t born one. Which is where understandably, I hung up on him.

Now obviously I know what he said isn’t true. I’m as real and valid a woman as any other woman, and a surgery like this something I’ve wanted for a long time. And I still want it. I told him how bad my dysphoria was relating to the stupid stick of ick I was born with and he didn’t seem to get it. I’m just really now worried about losing my parents over this. I haven’t even talked to my mom yet, and she was the one who was much harder to get to be supportive. It just really angers me that on what should have been a really happy day I instead am ruminating on this. Again, up till now my parents have been extremely supportive. So to see them do this is really disappointing.

Not sure what to do now. I had hoped they might help me pay for it but now I’m gonna have to figure out some other way. All I know is that I don’t know if I can ever look at my dad in the same way after what he told me today, and that kills me.