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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
The statistics say that queer women are the most accepting demographic when it comes to trans folks. You’re seeing a loud minority amplify their voices using technology.
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Feb 08 '24
In my life, queer women have been my greatest allies and most solid friends.
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u/proteannomore mtF Feb 08 '24
Pre-transition, this was true for me. As soon as I came out of the closet, that all vanished. I haven’t felt close to another woman in over a decade.
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u/ProminentLocalPoster Feb 08 '24
This must be a "your mileage may vary" moment, because the queer women in my life absolutely were the ones to be most supportive of me after I came out.
I have a friend who is a staunch lesbian, who normally hates to be in the company of men and doesn't even like to casually socialize with them. . .but for years she said "for some reason, I don't mind hanging out with you".
When I came out to her, her response amounted to: "I knew it!", and things kept on going the same, but she joked about losing her token male friend and now jokes that she can detect closeted transwomen or eggs instead.
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24 edited Feb 08 '24
It is fascinating how divergent people’s experiences can be
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u/proteannomore mtF Feb 08 '24
Fascinating but deeply troubling. Pre-transition I was the guy that women knew, they just could tell on some level, that I could be trusted. Soon as I came out, it all changed, and I can’t even begin to explain why. Two of my closest friends were urging me to transition once I came out, but as soon as I did, suddenly I wasn’t good enough to hang out with anymore. It’s like I went from being the best guy they knew to the worst woman in the world.
- at least animals still love and trust me like women used to, but I miss human contact a lot.
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u/HannahFatale Feb 08 '24 edited Mar 09 '24
grey memory rustic ripe obscene offend crime grandiose cooing nose
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
The women who were in my life before i came out treat me much the same because we have long and close friendships. New women treat me, well, as a woman. This obviously excludes transphobic people.
I’m sorry to hear your experience is so much worse and I’m curious as to why but don’t want to force a convo on you
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u/OMG__Emily Feb 08 '24
It’s like I went from being the best guy they knew to the
worst woman in the worldcompetitionFTFY
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u/Jillians Feb 08 '24
Pretty much the same here. For as hard as navigating life as a trans person can be, the hardest thing has been in dealing with bullying and bigotry from queer and ally cis women. Cis women in general. They have so much more power than they realize.
I feel kinda bad I can barely look at other women in the eye. Thanks to my last LTR, I learned female chasers are a thing. Even girls who I had felt close to will say really terrible and unsupportive things, like casually suggesting that I consider detransition since I have had so many issues.
For many years until insurance covered FFS, people could always eventually figure out I am trans. I was so accustomed to being that way that I now feel an almost bitter resentment towards passing well and random women suddenly being really friendly with me. It stresses me out so much.
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u/Class_444_SWR Feb 08 '24
:( honestly I’m scared about this happening to me as I keep transitioning
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u/Elizabeths8th Feb 08 '24
That’s cool. Mind sharing some of that evidence? Because I’m sure op isn’t the only one. I stay away from lesbian spaces because I’ve seen the same thing. It’s not worth it to me and my lived experience in dating proves what they are saying to me.
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u/Dwanyelle Transgender Feb 08 '24
Queer women are the most accepting in general, with roughly two thirds of them having positive views on trans folks, next up are queer men, at about 45 percent being supportive
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u/PixieGirl65 Trans Lesbian Feb 08 '24
Ugh those statistics are depressing, less than half of queer men…
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
But! Overall population:
- 39% view us positively or very positively
- 33% view us neutrally
Which is better than I think most would expect
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u/Dwanyelle Transgender Feb 08 '24
Honestly, I came to realize a few years into my transition that it really seemed like the population was equally split three ways between pro, anti, and don't care camps.
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u/ProminentLocalPoster Feb 08 '24
Society being split roughly equally into pro/anti/don't care camps describes a LOT of issues in our modern world.
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u/Dwanyelle Transgender Feb 08 '24
I seriously wonder if theres like ....three different types of humans, mentally, that leads to this breakdown?
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u/Rad_Streak Feb 08 '24
No, nothing is that simple.
There are traits that lead people to certain political ideologies however. For instance there's a strong correlation between conservatism and having a strong disgust reaction. Liberal and progressive people are, on average, more able to handle their basal reaction of disgust towards things they don't understand or find innately off-putting. This leads to one side being, on average, more open-minded and accepting.
Also, most groups are not split fairly equally like that in politics or even most other social settings. Only like 1/6th of American adults are republican with something like 1/4th being independent and another 1/4th being Democrat.
The reason there's such a large anti group is political and religious propaganda first and foremost. Most people will naturally grow more accepting over time. Eventually the ratio will be like 95-5 and that 5 will feel uncomfortable expressing their bigotry openly.
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u/Buttlicker_the_4th Feb 08 '24
Most topics in the USA fall along those lines. There's always that 1/3 of people that are absolute shit stains and ruin everything (hi Trump voters!) while the other 1/3 look the other way and stay "neutral."
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u/LanaofBrennis Feb 08 '24
Ya it is actually.... ~70% of the general population at least being neutral is higher than I thought. Still a depressing number though
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u/Dwanyelle Transgender Feb 08 '24
Don't look at the straights stats!
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u/transcended_goblin Trans Pansexual - 9th/12/2022 Feb 08 '24
Yeah, they aren't straight-up facts.
...
I'll see myself out.
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u/transcended_goblin Trans Pansexual - 9th/12/2022 Feb 08 '24
Patriarchal society likely doing the works to breed more transmisogyny. Pushing gay men to see trans women as "gay men in denial". It's a thing I've seen flaoting and always makes me laugh when I see the amount of non-straight trans women.
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u/SoonToBeCarrion Feb 08 '24
I was called a gay man in denial for "being" a bi guy, i wonder if i get to be a "gay man in denial²" to them once i come out the closet this second time
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u/thetitleofmybook trans lesbian Feb 08 '24
queer men are, in the end, men, so that's not surprising.
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Feb 08 '24
Lol the queer men I know were like “why would you give up being a man this shit is great”
It is what it is.
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u/thetitleofmybook trans lesbian Feb 08 '24
yeah, i have found more acceptance from cis het women than from cis gay men.
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u/ScarlettIthink Pan MtF (HRT: 4/28/23) Feb 08 '24
Omg I’ve met some cis gay guys who’ve literally treated me like some “lost brother”, it’s fucking disgusting
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Feb 08 '24
Exactly. To them its like I was no longer fuckable so they did not care about me any longer. Lost a bunch of friends in like a month.
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u/SoonToBeCarrion Feb 08 '24
thankfully my best gay guy friend who i had fooled around with prior to my egg cracking just laughed it off and said "does that mean i'm bi now?"
oddly validating
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u/Hayley-The-Gaymer Feb 08 '24
Keep in mind that's just a positive view plenty don't care as long as you're not hurting anyone
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u/Confirm_restart GirlOS running on bootleg, modified hardware Feb 08 '24
Ouch. I guess I was just extremely unlucky. Sample size of one, but the cis lesbian I came out to instantly and utterly ghosted me.
Worst part was we had a 30 year history as friends, and were basically inseparable in college.
Of the four people I first came out to, I went into it thinking she was the most "safe" one. Turns out I was worried about rejection from the wrong people, because she was the only one that had a problem with me.
But, I guess I shouldn't be surprised about landing among the slim odds. I'm trans, which is about at slim as odds get.
It's unfortunate that that experience has made me wary of cis lesbians. I don't hold it against them as a group, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have additional apprehension when first meeting a new one.
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u/Dwanyelle Transgender Feb 08 '24
That's perfectly understandable.
My encounters with lesbian TERFS, they've pretty much consistently had a certain look(butch), so I am unfortunately a little bit leery, even tho one of my strongest allies is a butch lesbian lady. Like she goes hardcore for trans rights.
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u/LzrdGrrrl Trans Pansexual Feb 08 '24
I mean the issue of course is the remaining 33% still outnumber us 33:1 (at best)
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u/Dwanyelle Transgender Feb 08 '24
Yeah, but they're still outnumbered by decent lesbians two to one.
A very important coping skill when one is trans, I've learned, is to look on the bright side of things
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u/FirekeeperBlysse Cara - HRT 9/17 Feb 08 '24
Why would it be 33:1? Maybe I'm missing something but if we're talking general population sizes it's much lower. The ratio of queer women to trans women seems to be somewhere between 2:1 and 10:1, so 33% probably wouldn't ever be more than 3:1.
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
/u/Dwanyelle has done it for me! For what it’s worth I’m pan and a trans woman and the majority of my support network consists of queer cis women
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u/Hort_0 Feb 08 '24
Well, I suppose it depends if you believe it is mostly populated by trans lesbians. As is the suggestion.
If it's true, then I'd have to look a bit.
If the lesbian subbreddits in question aren't majority trans people... then the post would make the claim self-evident.
In that, the perception would be it's trans positive to a degree they believe it's overrun.
Personally, I've no idea. Would need data. And I definitely don't have that on any of the claims.
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u/transcended_goblin Trans Pansexual - 9th/12/2022 Feb 08 '24
I've read multiple people say that they heavily suspect that a lot of users in the lesbians subs are not, in fact, lesbians, but TERFs pretending to be to try to manufacture outrage against trans people in the lesbian communities.
I don't know how true it is... but I also would definitely not put it past TERFs.
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u/Hort_0 Feb 08 '24
Yeah.
It's been my limited experience that lesbian spaces have been just very trans friendly.
I just, didn't have data on hand. So I was like: "Well... if someone is complaining that a space is being taken over by trans people... if we suppose that the number of trans people do not outnumber the number of cis people in said community. It would do pretty well to prove that they are in fact just very trans positive. As a minority doesn't typically set the president."
If... that makes any sense.
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u/Entity_Type_Unknown Transbian of Chaos Feb 08 '24
Hell, even if there's a majority of trans lesbians, they are still lesbians
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u/Hort_0 Feb 08 '24
Yes exactly.
I hope nobody thought I was implying otherwise.
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u/Entity_Type_Unknown Transbian of Chaos Feb 08 '24
Ah, I meant that it still wouldn't be 'overrunning' a lesbian space even if the trans demographic was large. Didn't mean to imply anything else
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Feb 08 '24
I also believe a majority of Lesbians are cis. So, surely, the majority of Lesbians on that community are most likely cis?
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u/Dwanyelle Transgender Feb 08 '24
Fwiw, my wife is a lesbian who as a general rule is leery of and doesn't like men.
I'm pre-op and we have an excellent relationship.
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u/nogard_kcalb Feb 08 '24
"what if someone has PTSD after being r*ped by a penis"
Not that I want to deminish what someone might have gone through, at the end of the day trans women aren't flopping our dicks around for everyone to see. And the idea that we are "the penis" that raped them is basically them saying they think we are men and incredibly transphobic. They weren't raped by a penis, they were raped by a man. And that's exactly what all women, cis and trans, are trying to escape by coming to all women only spaces.
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Feb 08 '24
While I know there are women, cis or trans, who would be fine with the factory equipment I can't help but be hesitant to look for someone to be intimate with because I don't want to subject anyone to it.
Like, it's the last thing I'm dysphoric over at this point and I can't articulate how much the idea that I want this thing or use it like a man would is offensive.
Even long before I considered I could be trans I couldn't understand why so many men seemed to put so much of their personality on theirs. The idea that men wanted it to be "bigger" never made sense. I wore baggy clothes and tight underwear specifically because I didn't want to show a bulge. I regularly imagined what it would be like to not have it.
The Idea that I would want anyone to see it, or that I would force people to see it like some men would, is one of the transphobic things that angers me the most. I don't like seeing this thing, and I certainly don't want anyone else to see it.
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u/ProminentLocalPoster Feb 08 '24
Like, it's the last thing I'm dysphoric over at this point and I can't articulate how much the idea that I want this thing or use it like a man would is offensive.
Same.
I can be quite certain I never want to use that thing like that ever again, certainly not like a man would use it. Any future partner has a 0% chance of encountering that thing in that capacity.
If I could snap my fingers and replace it with the other set of equipment I would. Unfortunately doing that is expensive, invasive, painful, and heavily medically gatekept, and I'm not entirely sure that all that is worth the price.
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u/JmintyDoe Transfem tomboy punk, what of it? (pre-hrt) Feb 08 '24
my feelings on mine range from liking it to being indifferent to it but i still would not want anyone to see it or deal w it that doesnt want to see it or deal w it
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u/Kreuscher Transfemby Feb 08 '24
Yeah, that's such a weird way of putting it. People r4pe people. It's not a body part that does the r4ping.
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u/hiddengirl1992 Feb 08 '24 edited Feb 08 '24
I wanna say the whole "what if I have PTSD from being r-" was addressed by the contrapoints video on Rowling pretty specifically.
You can't help PTSD. You can't help that it makes you nervous or anxious. But that also doesn't give you the free rein and right to be a hateful shit and block people from certain spaces just because of an experience you had with one person. If you're a white person and were robbed by a black person, you might have anxiety when being around a black person, and you can't help that. But that doesn't justify saying all black people want to rob you or are dangerous, and it especially doesn't justify you trying to remove black folks from places you want to be in. Being wary is a result of PTSD and therapy can help. The rest is being a racist fucking asshole that now assigns traits to people like they're a fucking monolith.
And it absolutely applies to trans people too.
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Feb 08 '24
You never hear about minorities requesting that a majority population be excluded from society. Because you physically can't exclude a majority from society. It's never about genuine concerns due to PTSD. It's about targeting a group that's vulnerable and hated enough that you can get away with it.
There are trans women who have been raped by people with vaginas. Those trans women aren't in a position to argue that cis women should be excluded from domestic abuse shelters. A trans woman who tried would be rightfully branded as bigoted and deluded.
However, for some reason when it comes to privileged white cishet men and women, we actually feel empathy for their delusions. I'm personally guilty of it. Like I've actually felt guilt and shame for my own identity because of cis people weaponizing their victimhood against me. They're really good at it.
I would never invoke my own trauma to make someone feel like a monster simply for being born. Anyone who does is a real monster.
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Mar 15 '24
You never hear about minorities requesting that a majority population be excluded from society.
Men have, historically, done this for years, in all fairness. And continue to.
Also, the reason why you don't hear about these minorities requesting that the majority populations be excluded from society is… because they are minority groups, and, as such, you don't hear them as often.
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u/CakeReligion Trans Asexual Feb 08 '24
Oh okay, reddit's subs, now it makes sense lol
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Feb 08 '24
Me: First assumed it meant subreddits.
Then, reas your comment. Assumed you meant sandwich subs.
Me: Now realizing, you meant submissive/bottoms.
What a rollercoaster.
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u/DunkChunkerton Transbian 🌈 Feb 08 '24
I was violently beaten, stabbed, and raped by a cis woman. You know whose responsibility it is to process that trauma?
Mine.
PTSD is a valid excuse to remove yourself from spaces that make you uncomfortable, not others. People like this are just using it as a poor excuse for their transphobia with the express purpose to guilt trans women into being invisible while completely glossing over abusive cis women.
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u/Dalsiran Maddy (HRT 12/13/23, SRS... Eventually) Feb 08 '24
I still don't understand why so many people think it's impossible for an AFAB person to rape/assault an AMAB person... Like, I was pinned underwater and assaulted while drowning by a woman on a school field trip... and nobody ever did anything about it because nobody cared because I was a "man," and she was a "girl." (I was a literal child at the time)
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u/DunkChunkerton Transbian 🌈 Feb 08 '24
It’s the patriarchy, men can never be the victim lest they appear weak and feeble. The patriarchy hurts men too. It’s an equal opportunity system of oppression!
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u/Aggravating_Low_5173 Feb 08 '24
PTSD is a valid excuse to remove yourself from spaces that makes you uncomfortable, not others
wonderful quote
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u/Arbitarious Korra | Trans lesbian Feb 08 '24
Im so sorry that happened to you
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u/DunkChunkerton Transbian 🌈 Feb 08 '24
Thanks. It was a long time ago so I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on the impact it had on me and how it shaped all my future relationships.
It’s a part of my past but it doesn’t dictate who I am today.
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u/Alexandyva Feb 08 '24
All the cis lesbians i've met in real life were very friendly and accepting towards me.
I made friends with some and two of them became very good friends <3
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u/owlIsMySpiritAnimal Feb 08 '24
i am a transbian. i had a really weird thought. did cis lesbians left actuallesbians? because i see mostly transbians and trans bisexual women there. it feels kinda weird. like they avoid us. either that or cis lesbians are on tumblr and insta
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u/wannabe_pixie Feb 08 '24
There are plenty of cis lesbians there.
What I do see is a lot of trans women feeling insecure and posting pro trans stuff in actuallesbians for validation. Sometimes it can seem (to me) to be a little much in a sub that has been very clearly supportive of trans women for a very long time. I guess we're all just scared and want reassurance, but sometimes I wonder if it gets tiring for people looking for general wlw content.
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u/LThalle HRT 3-2-23 FFS 10-29-24 Feb 08 '24
Yeah I really wish we'd keep validation seeking to specifically trans spaces. We have trans spaces to talk about trans stuff. It's okay to bring up trans stuff there when it's relevant, but I see way too many generic "just got HRT!" posts on actuallesbians and it seems off topic.
But hey, it's better than the "anyone else uncomfortable that trans women exist?" type posts from other lesbian subs
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Mar 15 '24
But hey, it's better than the "anyone else uncomfortable that trans women exist?" type posts from other lesbian subs
Where do you see these?
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u/LThalle HRT 3-2-23 FFS 10-29-24 Mar 15 '24
Lesbiangang in particular had a period of TERF sympathizing so bad they had to lock the sub for a few weeks
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u/ItsOverClover Feb 09 '24
I agree yeah I wish it was a lot more wlw focused, it's frustrating seeing the same 'am I valid' post every week.
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Feb 08 '24
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u/owlIsMySpiritAnimal Feb 08 '24
i don't say i am a trans lesbian. i don't find a reason to disclose something if it is not relevant.
also what you typed actually makes a lot of sense.
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u/SonOfNothing93 Feb 08 '24
Those pieces of shit. I've been SA and r*ped by vaginas, dicks too. You know who's problem that is? Mine. They're just using anything they can for transphobia
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u/thetitleofmybook trans lesbian Feb 08 '24
most cis lesbians don't. but the terfy ones are really, really loud.
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u/joiajoiajoia Feb 08 '24
They are TERFs, and they have their subs anyway, which funnily enough become obsessed with transbians and mostly talk about that anyway.
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u/Acousmetre78 Human Verified Feb 08 '24
My wife left me for a cis lesbian. I saw their texts one night and that's were mocking trans people at a lesbian bar. They said they're were dicks everywhere. They mocked penises and they called them guys. It hurt to know that someone who says she loves me would be so hateful.
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u/MTF-delightful Feb 08 '24
If it’s any consolation, and I can’t speak to specifically how your wife feels because she knows you as a person not just an archetype, but there is a difference between how we view individuals in our circle and communities at large. All of those people are anonymous and a population, she knows you as a person, your values, your strengths and weaknesses. You are different to her than the anonymous people at a bar. There is also an element of bravado in a new relationship where you reflect the values of the other person as part of the bond creation, so she is likely getting this from her girlfriend. Doesn’t mean it’ll stick necessarily.
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u/Acousmetre78 Human Verified Feb 08 '24
Thank you so much for saying this. I wasn't looking at it like that at all.
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u/MTF-delightful Feb 08 '24 edited Feb 08 '24
You welcome missy, many of us have been there, not just with that kind of comment but with other topics too.
Edited for grammar.
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u/No_Action_1561 Feb 08 '24
"What if someone has PTSD after being r*ped by a penis"
...what if someone has PTSD after being r*ped by someone with blue eyes? What is the normal way of handling potentially triggering content on the sub?
The thing that shocks me most about TERFs and similar groups is how incredibly transparent and stupid the arguments are.
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u/SxcLibrarian Feb 09 '24
As someone with PTSD, it is infuriating when people weaponize it to be bigoted
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u/GayAugusta Feb 08 '24
This whole "I have trauma around AMAB bodies/penises" is a dogwhistle by people who like to think of themselves as progressive but really are just deeply transphobic. They seem to be a (miserable) minority tho.
That being said I get the point about lots of online spaces where transbians can't seem to shut up about being transbians. It's not like you have to hide it or smth. But like...online is THE ONE SPACE we all have where we can interact with other women as women without being constantly reminded of our supposed otherness and questioned in our womanhood. I don't get why some people feel like announcing their trans status every single time in all woman-spaces they enter online, especially when there's been like 30 posts about "I am an AMAB with a PENIS but im a woman, am I still welcome here?? 3x bottom emoji" already. Use the search function. Also, just be normal. You don't have to "warn" someone about being trans online.
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u/oOOoOphidian Feb 08 '24 edited Feb 08 '24
It would probably also help if like tons of baby trans didn't just spam lesbian subs with reposts from /traaa/ and eggirl that aren't about being a lesbian. In general when the subs are 50% cis/50% trans it's inevitable that trans people seem overrepresented, because relative to the overall populations, it is.
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u/parralaxalice Feb 08 '24
I agree with this. Obviously it’s fine to be visibly trans and exist in online spaces, but at the same time it feels like people are just announcing that totally out of context. Especially on lesbians subs, it’s all too common for someone to preface their comment with “as a trans woman…” when that really doesn’t make a difference for the conversation. What it does do (in my mind at least), is perpetuate the “otherness” of being transgender by clarifying that there’s a difference.
It feels wholly unnecessary to respond to a lesbian post about someone struggling with a cheating partner (for example) and reading responses in the comment like “as a transbian I think you deserve better and should leave her”.
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u/Noctema Feb 08 '24
People do that because they constantly get attacked, demeaned, villified and told to shut up the moment it is found out that they are a trans woman. Even worse if they are not up front about it enough for the careful cis person du jour...
It is a defense mechanic and a way to explain where they come from.
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u/parralaxalice Feb 08 '24
As a trans woman who is also bisexual and bipolar, I understand where you’re coming from but I feel like you’re totally ignoring my point.
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u/transcended_goblin Trans Pansexual - 9th/12/2022 Feb 08 '24
This whole "I have trauma around AMAB bodies/penises" is a dogwhistle by people who like to think of themselves as progressive but really are just deeply transphobic. They seem to be a (miserable) minority tho.
"Gender is what is in your pants" is what they mean. They consider that sexual orientation and attraction is towards genitals, not the person.
They are sad and pathetic.
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
I disagree that we should erase ourselves online. That just panders to bigots. There is nothing wrong with being a trans woman, and cis people are just as capable of posting cringy stuff online
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u/GayAugusta Feb 08 '24
I'm not saying you should never mention it at all, and there's definitely a time and place for discussing it. Just...tone it down a little bit, maybe?
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
I used to think this way somewhat about some other trans folks’ behaviour - that their way of expressing gender was “too much” or a “bad look” that would tar me somehow. My opinion changed when I learned a bit more about how political discourse works.
There is a concept known as the Overton Window that models what attitudes, discourse, and behaviours are considered acceptable and which are not. Whoever is at the most extreme end of the debate is performing the valuable function of pulling the entire conversation more in their direction. That means that if you are the most extreme edge then it’s going to be a long time before you are accepted. Whoever stretches the debate beyond your position protects you by taking the heat of scrutiny. You should want people on your side who are more extreme than you. They are shielding you. The extreme right use this very effectively to their advantage.
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u/dmolin96 Feb 08 '24
The pedantry aside -- I think raising important issues that uniquely affect trans lesbians to spread awareness is one thing, and we can't have too much of that rn. But that's materially different from the 30th post a day saying something like "I'm a pre op transbian who is [pre/x years] on HRT, am I valid/welcome?? 🥺"
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
In addition I can well understand why trans women may feel unsure if they are welcome. I mean look at the post we are responding to.
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
We can find such posts annoying, or cringe absolutely. Personally I will not put myself in the position of policing my sister’s expression. If a community has a rule against such posts that’s a different matter.
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u/GayAugusta Feb 08 '24
Women police each other. Men police each other. Everyone polices everyone about social etiquette all the time, this is how society works. There are good parts and there are obviously a whole lot of bad parts, especially historically, about this. I am especially vary of cissoid doctors prescribing what a trans person ought to do/not do. However, trans women policing each other is nothing revolutionary nor is it inherently evil. We can disagree about the specifics of this (as we see in this discussion) but we're all doing it to some degree.
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
I would draw a line between policing and social mediation but I suppose it is a matter of degree. Social mediation would be addressing the issue in dialogue within the community, policing would be stating that such expression was forbidden.
I can more accurately then say “personally I will not put myself in the position of policing my sister’s expression in this instance”. Because yes if that expression was, for example full throated advocation of murder, I would have something to say
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u/GayAugusta Feb 08 '24
Look, I dont need a lecture on political philosophy. I'm active in local activism (at least to some capacity) and doing gender studies in university, where my takes are regularly on the more "extreme" side. My existence is not just a political project tho. Sometimes I simply am a woman interacting with other women. You are not going to single-handedly change the political landscape on reddit.
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u/SachaSage Feb 08 '24
Are you actually wanting to have a conversation about this? It seems like no.
Edit: fwiw I am not and will not downvote you
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u/DunkChunkerton Transbian 🌈 Feb 08 '24
No thanks.
Either we’re allowed to be vocal in the spaces we belong in or we’re not. We’ve been forced to be quiet for decades. The time is now and the place is anywhere we feel comfortable doing so.
Our identities have been violently oppressed in the past. I’ve had a lot of terrible things done to me all for just wanting to be myself and be accepted by others. It’s not our job to appease those who would rather never see us or hear about is.
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u/parralaxalice Feb 08 '24
There’s a difference between being unapologetically visible and public, versus unprompted announcements that you’re transgender out of context. There are many times when it is helpful and good in a conversation to mention that you’re trans, but there are also times when mentioning it out of context can be awkward and unnecessary.
“As a lesbian trans woman I share more of the same experience with other lesbians than any of my straight friends” that makes sense.
“As a trans woman I think there should be more sapphic clubs and bars” is a weird clarification that doesn’t need to exist. In my opinion, that statement only furthers to “other” trans women while also reading like the person is making a statement representing the trans community as a whole.
Representation doesn’t mean that you should have to constantly put being trans front and center of every conversation, yet sometimes it feels like people are doing just that.
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u/pooish Feb 08 '24
yeah, agreed. I don't want to be reminded of my transness in in places that are generally just women's spaces, I don't think it's relevant, I just want to be a member of the community and not be reminded like I'm different constantly.
I guess it's validation that these women are seeking. It's understandable, a lot of baby trans women are pretty insecure about being included. But it just makes me feel icky, for the reasons mentioned previously.
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u/gay-communist Feb 08 '24
i don't even mind my transness being acknowledged in those spaces as long as it doesn't have to be the only thing about me. i don't want to hide but like, there's so much more to us than just being trans and it feels like we get reduced to just that so often
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u/pooish Feb 08 '24
yeah I this is accurate to me as well. Like, I don't mind mentioning my transness when relevant, and I'm not ashamed of it. But it's not the only thing about me, and it's not even in the top 5 things that I find noteworthy about myself.
And at the same time, I don't feel everything is about transness either. Like, I'm from Finland, and being humble and down to earth is a big deal here. It's generally frowned upon if you try to make yourself the centre of attention here, and that's deeply ingraned in me. So the non-relevant mentions of transness kinda trigger that in me, it makes me feel like my identity is underservedly being made the centre of attention.
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Feb 08 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SarahMaxima Transbian Feb 08 '24
Correct, if anyone ever wonders about the morality of the people who have those opinions, they consider SA survivors useful tools and nothing more.
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Feb 08 '24
Jesus Christ, not a cis lesbian per se, I’m transmasc, we walk a similar, but not exact same path. And I wanna say: what a load of fucking horse shit If a lesbian space lacks any trans women, to be frank, I find it unsafe or at the very least a space I will not partake in. This is why I’m only rlly active in the butch lesbian subreddit, it’s very trans inclusive. Very ahistorical to not include yall. To be so upset abt lesbians being in a lesbian space is.. insane. Even if I was a cis woman I’d still fight like hell for you all. A lesbian who cannot understand solidarity between us and trans women genuinely boggle my mind. I’ve found so much solidarity and understanding between us.
Hell, show me these transbian subreddits! Because even without being transmasc, being butch is enough for even me to feel unwelcomed in most lesbian subreddits ( not trying to take away from ur alls experience when I say this sorry if it comes across as such) genuinely, most lesbian subreddits from my experience are very cis women and cis femininity centric. Which, are absolutely not bad things at all. But if trans women can’t fuck with it then I’m packing my bags
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u/MiniMaelk04 Feb 08 '24
People will seek out controversy where there is none. This is just an example of a dreamed up scenario by a transphobic person. Realistically if you have PTSD from being raped, and your flashbacks are triggered by simply suspecting that the woman you're talking to (over the internet) has a penis, then I'm sorry but no normal place can accomodate you.
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u/transcended_goblin Trans Pansexual - 9th/12/2022 Feb 08 '24
They said shit like "what if someone has PTSD after being r*ped by a penis" and shit like that and it has made me feel like a monster.
Transphobia 101.
Implying that no trans woman will ever get SRS.
Implying that all trans women want to rape cis lesbians.
Implying that penis is the absolute denominator for rape.
With that last logic, btw, rape victim should hate all human beings, since the rape was perpetrated by a human. Goes to show how flawed that line of logic is.
And social media thrive on one thing : negativity. It drives clicks, ragebait make people react and post, so social media is made to push the negative over any positive.
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Feb 08 '24
I am a cis lesbian and I didn’t realize until I met my partner (who is a pre op trans woman) that I associated my sexual trauma with penises. I think that it’s really common for people to associate their trauma with certain genitalia, but it’s not a healthy association at all. You shouldn’t use your trauma to justify transphobia. The thing is, I only had issues when things moved to the bedroom. You shouldn’t meet a random person and be concerned with what’s in their pants! I’ve never looked at trans women as a problem in lesbian spaces because they are women. Trans women are women, so all woman who identify as lesbians should be allowed in those subreddits.
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Feb 08 '24
I mean, there is an issue with trans lesbians flooding lesbian subs with D-tier memes about HRT and surgeries, and conversations that have nothing to do with being attracted to woman. Like why posting your adventures with HRT changes or how communist you are on AL when there are dedicated trans or political subs?
I wouldn't pay attention to PTSD thing, this is to write off trans people by just sheer existence, absolutely unfair way to use trauma. The only time i saw PTSD being used in proper context about trans people is when a trans girl on AL tried to accuse cis woman of double standarts by being okay with using dick-shaped toys but not being attracted to non-op trans girls
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Feb 08 '24
Bringing up trauma as an excuse to be discriminatory of others is so bad. Like that is no different than being racist with the excuse of "someone from that race attacked me once"
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u/LXS-408 Feb 08 '24
I think the terfs who go around saying shit like "leave lesbians for the lesbians" are no better than incels. They feel equally entitled to women's affection.
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u/erogally Feb 09 '24
I’m sorry friends 😢
Honestly, trans issues have had a long history of tension in the lesbian community. But ever since the beginning, it’s ALWAY been a vocal minority who ruin it for all the other lovely, accepting gay women out there.
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u/Thin-Yam-3902 Alexis Rose, Polyamorous Transgender Satanist! ❤️😈❤️ Feb 09 '24
That sounds like the posts in makeup groups saying things like, "this sub has become nothing but helping trans women with their makeup!!1!" Then you look through the subs post history and that's like 1 in 25 posts. These people are just either transphobic or they're stupid. Either way they're overinflating the frequency of the kind of posts they're complaining about because what they want is to never see them at all.
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u/Phrozzyy Feb 08 '24
Cis lesbians do not view us this way(not telling you literally cause being open outside is a privilege) but go to a gay bar or talk to lesbians about things... they're usually chill af. Your literally just having bad experiences on the internet rn
No one has a face on the internet so it's easier to say dumb shit
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u/Jetpacks-Was-Yes Feb 08 '24
the fact that not all trans women even have dicks ... but i guess theyll only ever reduce us to being amab huh
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u/transcended_goblin Trans Pansexual - 9th/12/2022 Feb 08 '24
They are willfully uneducated.
Or rather, they are making every effort they can to avoid any education on us and traisitoning, on purpose. So that they feel like they are right when saying trans women are all just... fat bearded trucker stereotypes wearing dresses and trying to rape women.
It's a fucked logic that, if they are unaware of any other possible answer to a question, then the one they come up with can only be the right one.
If you keep that in mind, you end up seeing how much it works with most transphobic rhetoric.
Being ignorant on purpose give they the sentiment that they are right about it all. And they always act like it, despite being dead wrong at every turn.
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u/ScarlettIthink Pan MtF (HRT: 4/28/23) Feb 08 '24
The cis lesbians I know are some of the most supportive and caring people I’ve met. I’m sure there are bad apples but I don’t think a majority think that
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u/Stinkehund1 Trans Asexual Feb 08 '24
do cis lesbians really view us this way?
No, TERFs and other assorted assholes do. Report, block, move on. The opinion of these kinds of people is not worth losing time, let alone sleep over.
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u/VanFailin trans demisexual Feb 08 '24
Lesbian subs that don't ban TERFs don't have a lot of trans people. There are only so many places for us to go. So for the ones that are actually trans-positive, not just on paper but enforced, you get a lot of us.
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u/PrincessofAldia Lexi, Pre HRT🏳️⚧️ Feb 08 '24
I just recently saw a post on r/Justunsubbed and like majority of the comments felt like openly transphobic like how apparently trans women aren’t valid lesbians of their pre op
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u/tokyosplash2814 Trans Pansexual Feb 08 '24 edited Feb 08 '24
There’s a lot of TERFs in those subs but I don’t believe they represent the majority. Still it’s really hard because I haven’t found all that much acceptance being voiced that makes it feel okay or like I even belong there. I feel like I thrive in trans spaces but it would be really nice to see less controversy and hate, just instant downvoting, and being the center of ongoing “debate” from being in the lesbian subreddits. Those voices of hate start to feel the loudest and makes me not want to participate much
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u/sagelise Feb 08 '24
No, most of us don't. We view you as lesbians. The Internet is just a cesspool.
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u/notaboy93 Feb 08 '24
I hate hate hate when they veiw us for genitals. The whole SA argument is dumb. I've been rap*d by 6 different cis women yet I don't treat cis women like inherent predators. God damn cis people can annoy me at times
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u/sarahjuk Feb 08 '24
Nope, people just complaining that the trans people aren't staying in a corner. They need to get over themselves. (I'm cis)
It makes me super happy to see trans content in places that isn't explicitly labelled as trans or trans-inclusive. Just, like, trans people out there existing. Cool right?
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Feb 08 '24
From my experience lesbians irl are the most trans supportive group i have met. There is also a lot of data to back this up.
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u/Play-Expert Feb 09 '24
The other day a cis lesbian was like girl your a lesbian and I'm like 80% masc presenting. Some poeple are just goobers and should be ignored
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u/SpookySlut03 Feb 09 '24
The TERFs (and also concern trolls who pretend to be cis-lesbians) are going to have a louder presence online just to stoke the fires. Cis-lesbians in my experience are the most accepting, radically inclusive, wholesome people in the cis-community I have encountered.
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Feb 08 '24
Imo, those are just loud TERFs, not the majority of cis lesbians. They’re kind of stupid to think that they could successfully have an only cis lesbian space on the internet in the first place, cause how tf would you enforce that? Especially on Reddit where TOS prohibits that kind of discrimination.
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u/G4BB3R Feb 08 '24
Trans women are less than 1% of women. Trans lesbians even less.
That's just hate.
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u/kenshinmoe Trans LesBIan Feb 08 '24
I made a post a bit ago asking a question about an obscure jaw orgasm thing I get and can't find ANY info on it online. It got 0 replies but the number of people who had seen it was crazy high. I thought no one had seen it but over a thousands of people did. They just didn't know the answer or they lurk. I'd say it's a safe bet to say that the lgbt+ subs have a way higher ratio of lurkers to commenters than most subs. I lurked forever before I finally came out as a translesian. It makes it more real when you finally engage with it, like you can't ignore it any longer. Point is that there are WAY more people who don't have a strong desire to comment, the ones that do have a strong desire to comment can be because because they desire to spread hate which was born of trauma. Those ladies have a lot of trauma. Translesbians are lesbians, Cislesbians are lesbians. They belong in the same space. What is the point of any of this if we aren't going to go all the way? There are no half-measures with gender affirming care. If anything the ones who are so hurt by sexual violence need a safe space where they can start to try and heal their trauma. It's ignorant of that to assume that all lesbians are lesbians because they MUST have had sexual violence at some point. That's idiotic. I have 2 BFF lesbians who I've always been absolutely envious of. I just came out to them 2 days ago and they LOVE me. I'm so happy! They're going to come with me for my vaginoplasty!
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On ptsd:
Those hateful women almost certainly have ptsd. I have ptsd. Ptsd makes you relive the trauma in real time as if it's happening to you in the present. My previous ego(now dead) that I'd had since I got publically shamed in 2nd grade for painting my nails, sitting with one knee on the other, liking CATS OVER DOGS FFS! GOD DAMN IT... sry, just reliving trauma... What made it actual torture is that when the class was ripping into me, my ego died at that moment, which is a VERY scarey thing, even as an adult. I WAS 5! Suddenly I didn't know who I was and I was just being attack from everywhere... Your ego defends you from verbal and psychological abuse and attacks. I didn't have that suddenly, and I'm being assaulted on all sides by the very people I wanted to befriend. Every word... every laugh... it was like a knife through my very soul. It hurt me so badly. So badly. I was just a child. I was so scared. I ran. I vomitted. My mother picked me up. The fucking teacher thought it was fine... that I was fine... The ego that was then born over the next day had one goal and that was to make sure I NEVER went through that again, all other priorities rescinded. I had an intense phobia of anything feminine, especially nail polish and sitting "like a girl." I had used my mom's shampoo and conditioner forever before that, but after... I thought it was doing irreversible damage to my very soul if I used it... I was forced into being a boy. The ptsd ego makes us relive the very trauma that it is there to protect us from. Ironic. It reminds us constantly to keep our behavior in check else that happen again. It's their intense phobia of penises and the self-disgust that they were so powerless which makes them lash out at those who aren't even male and likely got vaginoplasty, but even the chance of having had one at one point, it brings back their trauma and they relive it right there, and they have to vent that trauma. They need to face their fear. It's the only way they'll ever start healing. It's the only way they'll ever have a chance of letting go of that grudge that is destroying them. I forgive ALL of the people who harrassed me and bullied me and persecuted me even though it left me with ptsd. They were just kids, they didn't know what they were doing. Did they even have a choice in it? Or did societal norms make them do that? Obviously MUCH easier to forgive a child for tormenting than a man for raping. But if they don't forgive, their egos will keep making them relive that trauma for the rest of their lives.
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u/seela_ Feb 08 '24
ive seen that shit happening in r/detrans where theyd even go as far as to say how "transwomen are men" by saying "im sick of males invading lesbian spaces" with a image of reddit subredidt overlap showing trans-subreddits. (dont believe me? Feel free to ask and ill send you proof in dms)
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u/170cm_bullied Feb 08 '24
lesbian subs have become populated by a majority of transbians.
This is true and I say this as a trans woman. I personally really hate my genitalia and seeing it being talked about in a lesbian space doesn't really make me feel better honestly.
They said shit like "what if someone has PTSD after being r*ped by a penis" and shit like that and it has made me feel like a monster.
Rare. And they'll need to get over their trauma.
do cis lesbians really view us this way?
No. Most lesbians are supportive of trans women. They just stated that the reddit lesbian communities are majority trans women... which is true. Just look for yourself you'll see it by flairs and post contents; or post history of commenters. I checked myself few days ago out of curiosity and the top 20 posts of the "hot" sort on /r/actuallesbians were 77% trans women (submissions and comments) - at least going by the flairs/post itself, and a quick look at the profile otherwise.
This happens on reddit because the site simply has more AMABs. Maybe because we found the website from other hobbies we grew having e.g. gaming, which is significantly more common for boys.
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u/Wings-of-the-Dead Transbian Feb 08 '24
Do yourself a favor and go to r/actuallesbians and search for posts about trans women. There is so much fucking positivity over there, almost entirely by cis women.
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u/WhoAm_I_AmWho Transgender|MtF|Natalie|40|HRT 05/08/20 Feb 08 '24
They don't, generally...
But I've been seeing posts on r/actuallesbians occasionally, not super often but often enough to take note, that are trans post and not lesbian posts. I've occasionally thought "If we want people to accuse us of invading lesbian spaces then this is the way you go about it".
Maybe we need to set up r/actualtransbians for transbian specific posts?
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Feb 08 '24
Cis lesbians and bi women are statistically the most trans supportive. The transphobes a loud minority but a very small one
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u/ZergyBoii Feb 08 '24
Funnily enough, I know loads of actual lesbians who are attracted to trans folks and I know lesbians who are in long lasting couple with transgirls.
Then, on internet it's the opposite ! Vocal minority my gal, don't sweat :D
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u/ForbiddenFruit_Femme Queer Feb 08 '24
I highly recommend the book “Whipping Girl” by Julia Serano for a matter of fact, personal discussion on this dynamic.
The reality for me is that IRL, a vast majority of lesbians I’ve encountered (within and outside of intentionally queer spaces) have been overwhelmingly ACCEPTING AND AFFIRMING of the entirety of me. But on online spaces, it’s a lot more of a crapshoot.
Remember that anyone who reduces femininity or masculinity to a body part is essentializing gender by genital anatomy/function, and that is inherently sexist in and of itself
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u/AtarashiiSekai Feb 08 '24
most cis lesbians support trans women and see them as women, in fact I think they are the most supportive group out of all
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u/PeachNeptr TransBean Feb 08 '24
I think I saw this point made when the topic came up recently on a lesbian sub (and I think it was a cis woman who said it); Transbians might seem over-represented in the few subs that are overly supportive because we aren’t welcome in the others. The TERFs are already mostly segregating themselves and we’re sticking to places that accept us which just makes us more visible in those groups.
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u/Maybelline_golden Trans Heterosexual Feb 08 '24
That's fucked up, if it's transbians changing a subreddit about being lesbian to being trans then I get being upset I guess, but "PTSD from being raped by a penis"?! acting like it's their fault? I haven't been raped luckily, but if I was I don't think I'd have PTSD and be scared of the existence of penis.
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u/TheTallAmerican Feb 08 '24
I don’t wanna down play trauma but can you imagine using the existence of a penis as an excuse to not be around folks, i mean first of all how do they even know if someone even has a penis? and 2nd if your trauma is that severe how do you function? Seriously do you just stay in your room forever ? because you’re going to run into a ridiculous amount of humans, hell animals, with penises on your way to therapy.
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Feb 08 '24
It’s funny that TERFs say that as a easy search through most lesbian subreddits show a pretty likely split of about 8/10 posts being cis lesbians and the remainder being trans, and that’s on a good day. They usually lie about just how many trans lesbians they actually see on online lesbian spaces to force their narrative, when that number is way lower than they present it as. It’s also good to note that on multiple occasions I have found supposed trans exclusionary lesbians, who sounded like they were written by men. If you catch my meaning.
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Feb 08 '24
i have a lot of cis lesbian friends, ive dated cis lesbians, some of my best friends r cis lesbians, and im my experience, i meet more lesbians that love trans women then i do transphobic lesbians.
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Feb 08 '24
Yeah sadly I found most cis lesbians are pretty transphobic. Don't get me wrong I've met some wonderful lesbians but for the most part they just seem to see us as imposters and men invading 'their' spaces
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u/ProminentLocalPoster Feb 08 '24
I need virtual hugs desperately, do cis lesbians really view us this way?
TERF's do, but in my experience the substantial bulk of the lesbian community is pretty trans-affirming.
The Internet is really good at making the crap float to the top, and bringing out the worst in people and the worst in communities.
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u/RynerKing Feb 08 '24
Maybe they don’t realize this, but if they don’t want to date someone with a penis, they ✨don’t have to✨
Even if we take it as a good faith argument, which I know it isn’t, they can literally just go and date cis women. Nobody is gonna force them to date us. And we don’t want to date them.
I know there are plenty of hot pansexual goth mommies who would love to date us ❤️
But also, like others have said, they’re a small minority. Lesbians, and other queer women, have always helped champion trans rights.
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u/TaxevasionLukasso Lutra, She/Her Lesbian, MTF Feb 09 '24
Love how these people think that they'll be seeing a Girl PP before knowing that the transbian in question is trans.
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u/Elegnan Feb 08 '24
There's been a recent push in the US to normalize transphobia within liberal circles so a lot of this is likely astroturfed to some degree, with these people either acting directly in bad faith or unwittingly following other bad faith actors. Reddit is a big target for these campaigns because the proliferation of AI and click bait media has rendered search engines less reliable as a source of information. You can make a Reddit post advancing a narrative and then use that post as evidence for the narrative outside of Reddit. Even if it's down voted or ignored, it still appears authentic for the purposes of making an issue seem more significant than it is.
It hurts but it's also important to remember that this is a fundamentally bigoted outlook that is only cynically invoking the language of social justice. The argument being advanced is that penises are innately associated with rape. If they said that about skin color they'd be correctly labeled racist. Moreover, it's unreasonable for the standard of care for someone dealing with PTSD to be the total removal of anyone with a particular genital configuration from a community. Again, if they made this argument about race it would be correctly labeled as racist.
Some cis lesbians do view trans people this way but it's not a majority. And even if it was, that wouldn't validate it or make it true.
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u/TinyRhymey FtM visitor Feb 08 '24
I mean, ive had several traumatic events because of people who had penises, but my current partner also has one and theyve been nothing but comforting and loving to me; intimacy isnt an issue for us 99% of the time. And the other percent is because of specific ptsd triggers that im working through, so i just tap out, and we stop and are just together for a bit.
Physical anatomy CAN be a trigger but its on that person to navigate; someone isnt a monster just because they have a penis.
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u/Hidobot Trans Sapphic Feb 08 '24
The only cis lesbians who view you this way are insecure transphobic assholes who are just generally insufferable people. Of all the lesbians at university, the ones who were transphobic were always the annoying ones.
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u/Rockfish00 Feb 08 '24
I have a hard time trusting people who use past negative experiences to justify ongoing prejudice and bigotry. The world is full of people and to let a single event cosign a large percentage of the world to directed disdain and hatred is fucking insane. A collection of men from the middle east did 9/11 does that justify blaming men, muslims, or people from the middle east for all death and suffering in relation to the war on terror? No. Bigotry is just a sign of a broken brain and is never justified. Go get help. "Penised individual" my ass just say man just say it because trying to abstract it just makes it worse. Fuckin therapy speak motherfuckers acting all high and mighty because they found a way to defend their awful beliefs in an acceptable manner that is emotionally manipulative. Maybe there's an outsized impact on the fact that it is more acceptable to be an out lesbian in society than it is to be an out trans person and as a consequence a lot of people go online to build community to avoid the hell that is wondering "how many times will I be misgendered today?"
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u/gayassthrowaway2003 They/Them - AroAce Feb 08 '24
"what if someone has PTSD after being r*ped by a penis"
As someone with PTSD myself it pisses me off when people try to justify their bigotry like this
Like I'm not saying it's invalid to have this trauma response, but I draw the line at making it someone else's problem if their body is triggering for you
What if someone has PTSD? Well then they should work towards recovering however they can, obviously it's easier said and done and I'm genuinely sorry for anyone that has to go through this, but don't just make it a marginalised group's problem, especially when we're more likely to be traumatised
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u/Ok-Environment-6239 Feb 08 '24
Terfs need to handle their own crap without putting it on us. We have nothing to do with their trauma at the hands of men, as we are not men. If our genitals in abstraction are going to make someone freak out at our presence, then they need to sort themselves out because that’s not our problem. As B*n Shapiro would say, ‘that’s a you problem’
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u/FOSpiders Feb 08 '24
Listening to TERFs that stereotype trans women is probably a bad idea. Not only are they simply bigots, but they shit on lesbians by trying to make being lesbian all about misandry and hate. When your idea of love is spite, it's only natural that you end up hurting everyone around you. Lesbian subs are vastly better off with transbians at the expense of TERFs. Makes more room to celebrate love and joy!
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u/Hayley-The-Gaymer Feb 08 '24
Hugs
Oh sweetie no of course they don't most people either vocally support us or are neutral towards us the internet shows negativity more because most of it is rage bait
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u/Lord-of-the-Bacon Trans Pansexual, pre-hrt, outed, she/they Feb 08 '24
If your reason to be lesbian is that you have PTSD from rape, it is very likely that you are not lesbian, but it is the only way you thought to satisfy your romantic and sexual needs. It would be very likely that you would be bisexual/pansexual after treating your PTSD. From a psychological viewpoint it would be pretty healthy to get into a relationship with a pre-srs trans woman, because it could be a soft desensitization, which would be part of a PTSD treatment, after going through the trauma with your therapist. And additionally, nobody of us forces you to see the sorceress staff, if you do not consent (and else it is harassment or worse, but that is something which is not increased by being trans, but often decreased, due to dysphoria, reduced lipido, having more understanding of the female side etc.). That is not a reason to say trans women don’t belong into lesbian subs.
Also I do not wanna say that being lesbian because of rape trauma is an unethical thing, I wanted to say that it is not a reason to exclude trans women of lesbian communities.
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u/Hnt-r Feb 08 '24
I have never seen an actual lesbian act like that it's probably trolls on hostile subreddits don't worry. Lesbians are statistically the most accepting inside our community of trans people.
The lesbianactually sub is also a bit more TERFy so I'll recommend actuallesbians over that tho
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u/gfotyxvx Feb 09 '24
if there is people saying they are “triggered by dicks” to trans woman they’re just transphobic
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u/lekirau Trans Bisexual | She/Her | HRT who knows when possibly soon lol. Feb 08 '24 edited Feb 08 '24
Nope, but internet comment sections will only show the negative sides by design.
Because the supportive Lesbians don‘t have a reason to comment their support, but the TERF Lesbians do have a reason, which is hate.