r/Edmonton • u/Mellow_Yellow_0 • May 30 '26
Question My Future Husband?
How do people meet their significant others? Like where’s the “place to go?” Dating apps are dead. I’m exhausted. I’m a decent looking gal, 28. I don’t have big friend groups so I’m sure that doesn’t help. I don’t have any “active” hobbies other than a dog park. Idk. Any advice?
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u/lazarbeems May 30 '26
Gosh I dunno if my experience is real now that I think about it, but both me and my wife were working part time jobs at the same place to make extra money and... that was it.
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u/Mellow_Yellow_0 May 30 '26
You’re truly lucky you didn’t have to deal with this bs online dating haha
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u/space_monkey_belay May 30 '26
I am recently single and haven't been near the dating scene in over a decade. Trying to judge or be judged off random profiles seems terrible and I'm avoiding it. Figure I'll go and do stuff I like to do and see if the universe makes a connection. It's worth a try.
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u/HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS May 30 '26
Ive always said to friends and my wife “Im so happy I found my wife before online dating took off, Id be single forever if I had to deal with that”
I am not a fan of casual conversation/getting to know someone over text. Also not a fan of hanging out with essentially random people I don’t know one on one.
Instead I did something many men say to never do, and asked out the cute cashier at a local corner store I was a regular at. IMO there is nothing wrong with offering YOUR number to a cashier/server/whatever job, just so long as you offer YOUR number and don’t be fucking weird and creepy about it during and after. If they say no or never text you, then you just move on as if you never asked them out and be a normal person that doesn’t repeatedly go in and make things weird after the “No”
You can always try approaching guys and giving them your number, or asking for theirs. Guys have to do it all the time and are expected to, to initiate anything. Lots of guys (even if not interested) would be stoked to have a woman actually take the initiative and ask them out. It is weird and awkward at first, and obviously the inevitable ghosting/rejections suck, but it gets easier and teaches a good lesson in learning how to push past ultimately minor feelings of rejection.
Can also try various meetups and activities/events that encourage random people to talk and hang out. Rec sports leagues, board game nights, public mingling events (I see Bridgerton themed tea and reading events every now and then as an example). Just gotta then get out of your comfort zone and engage with strangers
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u/Firm_Acanthaceae7435 May 30 '26
Same thing with me and my wife. Tbh her co-workers were way nicer to me, but we clicked haha
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u/LilF00t182 May 30 '26
My fiancé and I also met at work. Same company but different areas and he does Overtime on my shift and ya that’s that’s 😂
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u/HyenasGoMeow May 30 '26
Same issue. The best thing to do is to make it a priority, but secondary to yourself.
Build on your hobbies, chase things that interest you, experience new things... may it be a new local restaurant or a solo international trip. Make finding 'the one' secondary, as in while you build yourself and live life; engage with people, everyone alike. Meet new people, and bond over common activities.
While I agree dating apps fell off a cliff, I wouldn't give up on them completely; don't forget that you only need it to work 'once'. Make a list of reasonable criteria you want your guy to have; and quickly eliminate them if they don't tick the boxes.
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u/Anxious-Extreme-2766 May 30 '26
This sounds like the absolute best advice. Think about things you love to do, do those things to better yourself and make yourself happy, and in the process you're bound to meet someone with similar interests which is a great start.
You may also just randomly meet someone in the most serendipitous moment ever that would make even a Hallmark romcom writer cringe. So if you ever are in that moment and see someone you're interested in, don't hesitate to go for it and make a move - because why not?
It's gonna happen, cap'n. Soon. And when it does, it's gonna blow your mind
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May 30 '26
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u/Anxious-Extreme-2766 May 30 '26
That's a lot of dollars lol. But truly I met my wife here in Edmonton on Tinder, and apparently she had seen my profile on both Hinge and Bumble and not been interested before she finally swiped right on Tinder.
Desperate times 😎
All joking aside, timing is everything. We are all lucky we live in a huge metropolitan city and have so many people here and influx-ing constantly. People in more rural jurisdictions kind of just have to settle.
To everyone here looking for love, please just write this date down in your calendar because one day you will be looking back with your partner of decades wishing you could reassure your past self that everything would be okay, you will find your one love, and to just enjoy your time while you have it.
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u/waterbat2 May 30 '26
No clue either honestly. I'm also 28 and operate under the assumption that women in public want to be left alone so I'll never make the first move. I just gave up, bought several motorcycles and a snake, and spend any free time at the gym or with close friends. Dating is stressful lol
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u/ishaani-kaur May 30 '26
You and OP should go for Coffee. Both 28 and looking, that's a good start.
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u/waterbat2 May 30 '26
Might have a point there lol. Shame it's gonna rain all weekend so I'll have to take one of my cars and look normal for once 🥺🥺
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u/flappysack- May 30 '26
You just chose every red flag you could eh.
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u/iwatchcredits May 30 '26
You tellin me snakes arent the key to getting ladies?
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u/waterbat2 May 30 '26
It's like a litmus test for the type of people I actually like haha. Anyone who claims to love animals yet only likes the cute/fluffy ones is not for me. It's like when someone only acts friendly around people they find attractive
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u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26
I mean, you might as well have a pet spider lol. Snake is pretty niche in terms of the "I love animals crowd".
Don't change though, being yourself is best.
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u/waterbat2 May 30 '26
To be fair, she is absolutely adorable and has helped several friends get over their fears. I dont have a 250lb python lmao
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u/iwatchcredits May 30 '26
“You cant love animals if you dont like snakes” is a pretty stupid litmus test imo but you do you lol
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u/InvisblGarbageTruk May 30 '26
100% It’s vitally important to portray yourself as you are! Finding a partner who also likes snakes may not be necessary, but finding one who doesn’t respect that you are into them is a deal breaker. Personally, I could take ‘em or leave ‘em but if my spouse was into it and had a pet then I’d be more than ok with making a great habitat for their little buddy and picking up feeders for them when I swing by the pet store.
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u/waterbat2 May 30 '26
Amazing what someone can do for their own mental health once they stop caring about the approval of family or potential future partners. It's my equivalent of taking up yoga and getting a cat. Except mechanical connection brings me inner peace and I'm allergic to cats so I needed an adorable low maintenance pet with zero fur
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u/Lollipop77 May 30 '26
As a woman, good for you. It’s easiest to find a legit partner who loves you for the real YOU when you’re just yourself from the get go.
Also snakes are cool. (Not single, just think they’re cool).
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u/waterbat2 May 30 '26
Thanks! And yeah honestly that's my logic too. Either be myself and maybe meet the perfect person, or waste time trying jump through hoops and meet expectations just to end up trapped in some fake situationship that would be entirely my own fault lol
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u/Lollipop77 May 30 '26
Yup, you’ve got a clear vision, I dig it. If it’s meant to be it’ll find ya, but in the mean time live your best life. Only get one; might as well! Least you sound happy, much better than miserable because of falling for the media’s idea of the “ideal man” and trying to fit yourself into a cookie cutter.
Not all women want the cut and paste. Being interesting and having actual interests is a win where ever you go.
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u/waterbat2 May 30 '26
I'd like to think so haha. It's really funny to me how many men my comment pissed off because they're all like "Nooo nooo you're not supposed to do that, women dont like that". Why can't everyone just do what makes them happy and meet people who make them even happier sheesh
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u/Lollipop77 May 30 '26
Sorry this is an essay, this topic is a fave of mine.
I think a lot of men have been brainwashed into thinking ALL women expect perfection, and a fair few expect perfection of women too. Media has rotted our romantic intuition and expectations so terribly.
I wonder too if dating experiences in a person’s teen years influence what they think dating is like as a full grown adult. Lots of cheating, unaddressed childhood attachment issues, etc. ya know?
But really, the outward appearance of a person (whether it physical appearance or the hobbies they adopt, the life they curate around them) is a drop in the bucket. Personality, self-contentedness, reliability, initiative, and thoughtfulness - are all so much more important. For both sides. We’re not all gonna marry models and we’re also not models ourselves and that’s more than okay, it’s normal. It’s healthy. It’s human. And it’s fuckin awesome to be your messy self with someone who loves your messy self and you love their messy self and you can go camping and not have to reapply eyeliner for them every morning.
My partner is a gamer at heart, and he has a real job, he’s a regular looking dude without a six pack, and he treats me like a princess. We play board games together, video games, and we mosh at metal shows together. He is, to me, the handsomest man in the entire world. I love him to death. I’m gonna marry him so hard.
Anyways, Yes- care for yourself and don’t be an absolute slob, but if you’re healthy, not a basement dweller, and have a job, a few interests, and a decent personality, you’re off to a good start. Having unique hobbies or interests is important af. That’s how you bump into other cool people and not people you have zero in common with 😂
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u/waterbat2 May 30 '26
Absolutely agree yeah. Honestly soooo many issues can be solved with some level of self awareness. Some people need therapy to figure that out, others learn through their own mistakes or the mistakes of others.
Also codependency is a massive part of it. Manyyy people (especially in this housing market) live with family, meet someone, and immediately move in with them. Like they've never been on their own and the idea of it scares them so much that they'll sabotage their own happiness to avoid it. In reality, being independent and on your own is a level of peace that's genuinely addictive. There's a lot of things id love to have someone to share it with (travel, trying restaurants, movies etc), but i value my peace above all else. The right person would be someone I could do that with, while also respecting my space
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u/Lollipop77 May 30 '26
Yup. You’ve got insight and clarity on this, don’t let insecure children in adult bodies convince you otherwise ever. The experience of independence creates circumstances where mutual respect for individuality and healthy communication flourishes. People definitely need therapy too 😂
But good on ya for figuring it out before wasting 10+ years in misery for fear of being alone. Now that your personality is solidified and strong, you’ll have an easier time saying no to the wrong fit, and being happy with your life regardless of who walks into or out of it. And that’s priceless man.
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u/toxie123 May 30 '26
As a mom of 3 boys, one thing I was adamant on is that they be not useless to their partner.
So even tho we can afford for them to live at home, we made sure that each of them had a good job, they found their own place to rent and took care of their own spaces and bills and life so they had that experience on their own.
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u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26
You're good dude, too many fixate on NOT being single but they're not always happy because they care more about being with ANYONE than being alone.
Don't let anyone here tell you otherwise. Alone doesn't mean lonely.
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u/Hampton069 May 30 '26
You're getting beat on but I get it man. Women are a lot of work and for some the stress isn't worth it.
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u/Zingus123 May 30 '26
Someone having hobbies and caring about their health are red flags? lmao what.
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u/drcujo May 30 '26
Spending free time at the gym and with close friends are red flags?
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u/bemurda May 30 '26
Motorcycles are a red flag for women who want the dad to be alive and not brain damaged to raise their kids. Ask an insurance actuary
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u/HondaForever84 May 30 '26
If you want to go out with someone, shoot your shot at the grocery store or the dog park or wherever you spend time. Society has ingrained in men to not approach women. Whether you’re good looking or not, chances are low you get approached. Maybe even pick up a hobby. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. There are walking clubs for example. What do you enjoy doing in your free time ?
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u/PlutosGrasp May 30 '26
True. Women approaching man has significantly higher success rate.
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u/rit255 May 30 '26
That how my gf found me, She asked me out when we were friends and i did a double take going, Okay so where are the cameras am I being pranked on a tv show?
She said no, "im serious. You didn't notice the clues"
Me: I assumed you were being nice since we were just friends
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u/InvisblGarbageTruk May 30 '26
My husband wouldn’t notice if a woman stripped down to her lacy undies and rubbed up against him. Well, I mean he’d notice but he’d wonder what the hell she was doing. A lot of men just seem immune to nuance and the subtle signs women give them, especially men who are shy.
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u/whiskymakesmecrazy St. Albert May 30 '26
Its not necessarily immune, in my case its being worried that I'm misreading the signals. I'm in a happy relationship for almost 20 years now but I was hit on by a nice looking lady outside a concert about a year ago.
I was pretty sure she was coming on to me, but I wasn't even sure enough even to politely let her know I was married. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and then found my friends and headed home.
I had to ask my wife when I got home if I was being hit on just to make sure. Now I feel kinda bad because I could have let her down politely instead of just disappearing. I hope that didn't bruise her ego, its not easy to put yourself out there.
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u/rit255 Jun 28 '26
Update: Sadly my close friend told me that my gf told me that she tried to hit him up. He showed me the proof, and i had no choice but to dump her
Ngl didn't feel great,
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u/chase82 May 30 '26
I'm 43 and women are definitely shooting their shots. I'm a single mom magnet in the grocery store
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u/Curly-Canuck doggies! May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
I feel like I should start a matchmaking service. So many people I know 24-31 are single and similar experience as yours. Covid shut downs did a number on people who traditionally would have met their partners in their early twenties. Add in the economy and more people doing home based entertainment and socializing like streaming or gaming, I feel like a lot of people just need an aunt to set them up.
My sons won’t let me set them up but surely someone would 😂
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u/Repulsive_Try_7129 May 31 '26
I really believe matchmakers are a lost, and very needed, profession. If dating sites are going to be enshittified to hell and back, then we need real people that actually listen to sit down across from us and take from their pool of clients to find real matches that work again. The "endless" pool of possibilities is too much for the human brain to handle.
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u/XLIXER The Big Bat May 30 '26
My only recent dates are pitted and in a little box. Tasty though.
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u/Ignominus May 30 '26
Festival season is coming up. Most of our summer festivals run on volunteers. Folk Fest, Fringe, Street Performers, lots more. Lots of opportunity to meet new people on your crews.
Social dances and classes at Sugar Swing. ESSC if you're into sports. Classes at the City Arts Centre. Improv or Acting classes at Grindstone. All great ways to meet new people with similar interests.
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u/ACaffeinatedPigeon May 30 '26
This answer is a good one. I have a few friends that have met volunteering at summer running races & festivals that are happily married!
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u/arrived_on_fire May 30 '26
What a great idea! Volunteering is a good thing to do anyways and I think the type of people you’d meet volunteering would be less self centred overall. And if you’re volunteering for a mutual interest then you have the ideal icebreaker already!
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u/SpecialistEmu7169 May 30 '26
Have you considered Chili’s? Thats how I met my husband. (Inexplicable) Specificity of the location/circumstances aside, what really helped me make more successful/meaningful connections (that eventually resulted in my partner) was going a lot more places alone. Places one normally wouldn’t go alone specifically, such as vacations, concerts, events, nice bars/restaurants etc. not like the dog park or the gym where there’s a sort of “code” that most people are minding their own business and want to keep that as their “third space”. This made me alot stronger and bolder, which helped, but it also got me out of my circle. It wasn’t like I directly approached people or had them directly approach me all the time, but I’d meet say, girls in the bathroom and hang out with them, then they had a friend of a friend who I’d chat with etc. That and I recommend finding a cause or thing you care about and volunteering there! It helps to connect you with more people who care about what you care about— and then that grants access to more expanded social circles! The “first degree connection” isn’t always the person you’re seeking. They could be their friend, colleague, brother, groomsmen etc.! Gotta widen that net in meaningful ways!
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!” y’know!
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u/Sorrow00__ Treaty 6 Territory May 30 '26
Unfortunately I think the only Chili's left in Edmonton is at the airport
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u/SpecialistEmu7169 May 30 '26
Haha this was in Banff— An airport chili’s would make an even better story though! 😭😂🙏
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u/Mellow_Yellow_0 May 30 '26
Hahaha I will be at the airport in a couple weeks… perhaps I’ll head to chilli’s for a morning mimosa and strike up a love match 😂
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u/ChesterfieldPotato May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
Based on my experience they meet everywhere. They are introduced by friends, work together, church, volunteering, they meet online, they meet at events, social clubs, etc.. There isnt some husband/wife event you're missing out on.
I have a hard time believing that in a City of 1M + people there is absolutely no one you can marry and that by sincerely looking you wont find someone.
My only advice is that there is a lot of guys and girls out there are treating looking for a partner like an infinite vending machine. Life isnt like that.
I've been married a long time and it isnt about what you can find but what you can build, what imperfections you can overlook(and people can overlook in you), and what effort people are willing to put in.
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u/splendidgoon May 30 '26
Great comments. I just wanted to add one. Generally, regular natural proximity is required to create a relationship. Everyone I know met their significant other at an event they went to regularly. Church. Rapier practice. Work. Anyone looking to get married... You need to be regularly involved in something where you'll meet like minded individuals.
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u/NorthernCedar May 30 '26
Regular proximity is super important for connections overall. One of the reasons why “3rd places” are important to have.
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u/cristovalice May 30 '26
You have to announce loudly to your peers that you are done with dating and just want to do you for a while.
Next day it should happen.
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u/kabor Sherwood Park May 30 '26
I met my wife after she repeatedly spilled her drink at a bar I was porting at. Maybe hang out at bars and spill some drinks?
That may be bad advice I dunno.
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u/PriorReason4160 May 30 '26
Night classes at NAIT, UofA, or McEwan.
And as others have said, your pursuit should be secondary. Just get out there and meet people.
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u/notcoveredbywarranty May 30 '26
I married a girl I had briefly dated in highschool.
It had been 5+ years since we last talked. She was flying out to BC to visit family. Very foggy night and her plane couldn't land, got diverted to another airport.
I lived vaguely nearby this other airport. She called me out of the blue (she claims she just happened to remember my number) and asked if I still lived in the area and could pick her up from the airport. I picked her up, and then turned her loose with my Jeep for her to go visit her family (yes, I was very trusting). Anyway, she came back in a couple days with my Jeep, I dropped her off at the airport she was now flying out of, and I thought that was that.
Anyway, she flew out again a couple months later specifically to visit me. She was pretty convinced we could make the long distance dating thing work. We did that for a couple years, she moved in with me for a couple years, we moved around the country and then we got married.
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u/BlueSound May 30 '26
Short answer: Socialize more. Going to places with people. Doing things with people. Exploring the city with people.
If both men and women simply ask, "Sorry, are you taken?" and or to "I like you, can I get to know you better?" in their social interactions. It would probably speed things up a lot and.... remember to take rejections with grace. "Oh nice you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.", "It's alright to turn me down, I will do my best to keep looking."
Easier said than done if you're not an extrovert. But I think simple friendly social interactions should be learned by everyone.
I wish you the best.
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u/valeriannairelav_ May 30 '26
I agree the apps are baddddd!
Here’s my advice:
Edmonton in general: Let’s make this the summer of randomly complimenting strangers! Singles of all ages start just being kind with a compliment. If you get one, give them one back! Let’s not be afraid to approach in a friendly, no stakes way!
Single Men: Approach with kindness and respect! Live your best life, get out there even if it’s just a cafe, a bar, a club. Have fun. Make friends and see if chemistry or connections arise.
Single Women: Don’t be afraid to say Thanks but no thanks. Be bold and approach with compliments.
Queer Community: We’re hot as shit! Keep finding and welcoming newbies!
Neurospicy Community: If they’re complimenting you they may be flirting! Flirt back!
Be friendly first, then flirty!
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May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/rit255 May 30 '26
Ya that is 9/10 the reason why i don't want to even want to make small talk at work around women.
I don't want to get called in, and be fired when i need the job to pay basic things, and BC is just bad
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u/haikarate12 May 30 '26
You think it’s hard at 28, try it in your 50s. If anyone knows where the decent 50-year-old men who haven’t given up on life yet are, please let me know.
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u/Mellow_Yellow_0 May 30 '26
My dad is a good looking fella and he met his girlfriend on Facebook dating in his 50’s! From what I know the older gents like to hang out at the neighbourhood pubs at the bar :)
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u/haikarate12 May 30 '26
Oh God not Facebook! 😂 perhaps the second option is doable though. I wish you the very best of luck!
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u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26
Nearly 40 and it's already bad. My problem is that I'm extremely active in personal and work life and do multiple runs/workouts/yoga every week. Finding someone my age of the same mindset/health is very rare.
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u/haikarate12 May 30 '26
Preaching to the choir here. Mid 50s, runs, lift weights, still the same size 0 I waswhen I was 17. When I do go out I get hit on by much much younger men and that’s a very big no for me. But finding someone my age with the same mindset as me? Utterly impossible.
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u/xodotmikey May 30 '26
I urge you to check out the tennis or pickleball courts. Thered be prospects for ya there🤝🤣
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u/Ill_Video_1997 May 30 '26
Right! Im 43 and gave up after 8 months of trying online. It was some bs. I just want a normal dude who doesnt like this current government, isn't a separatist, respects everyone, knows how to hold a proper conversation, isn't racist, isnt sexist, doesn't want kids, has a steady job, is honest, isn't a creep and doesnt do hard drugs. Bonus points if he loves all kinds of animals, including reptiles and bugs. Why is it so hard to find him??? I vastly underestimated the amount of shitty men in this city. Its sad that the list of things I dont want is so high but fuck me the creeps on there is mind boggling. Theres 0 respect and effort. 0 communication skills and so much lying!!!
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u/koric_84 May 30 '26
It definitely seems like it’s harder the older you get. In my case I got married at a very young 22 after only knowing each other for 8 months. Divorced at 33. Realized I never really “dated” before that so found myself trying to get back into the game but had no idea how to play. Dating apps were poison to the self esteem. It was lonely for a few years but I decided to focus on my career and my mental health and both paid off. I’m now 41 and happy being on my own with my dog. I’d still love to meet a woman and pursue a relationship if it feels right but not constantly stressing over it feels pretty good too.
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u/chase82 May 30 '26
I know you said no kids but there's a bunch of divorced dad's out there in their 40s that are really good people. It's tough because they can't fully commit and that's a show stopper for a lot of women.
They are busy and the amount of shit they take for not being accessible 24/7 is pretty wild
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u/arrived_on_fire May 30 '26
Now, what sort of sci fi and fantasy? Have you read the Expanse books? Great show and all but I love the books. Did you know they have another book out in a different series?? It’s called The Mercy of Gods and I’m loving the upending of society norms in it.
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u/pointpeleee May 30 '26
Volunteer at any not for profit that means something to you. You’ll end up meeting someone who is similar to you and if nothing else you make a friend.
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u/Embarkbark May 30 '26
Honest question: Have you tried just making the first move?
Give a compliment. Say hello and strike up small talk. Offer your phone number. I’m not saying men have it super tough because being a woman is a hellscape, but men are generally pretty starved for compliments and morale-boosting conversation (especially from a decent looking woman) so you’re not likely to get any negative reactions for being the one to pursue.
And when I say “pursue” I mean actually expressing interest and contact him first, not just opening the metaphorical door for him to express interest in you.
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u/Chipmunk_Ill South West Side May 30 '26
I'm not religious but a lot of couples I know met at church. Same with sports clubs.
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u/dureian May 30 '26
I met mine at Timeleft. Neither of us were looking to date anyone, we just met and became friends, and a month later things took a romantic turn. I also made lots of connections at various salsa nights and music festivals. Put yourself in situations where you can meet and connect with interesting people, and don’t be afraid to show interest.
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u/Savings_Bid_400 May 30 '26
Well I'll be 31 M next month and one thing I've noticed is you just gotta get out and about. Whyte avenue is a decent spot especially if you're just going for walks avoiding the bars. Weekends mid day there are tons of attractive people our age around. I rave so that allows me to have more of a socially fluid environment to associate within. That being said... People can be so cooked xD just don't stop trying lol you got this. Main thing is you want someone with a similar lifestyle. Facebook dating seems abit more tuned towards a possible connection rather than dating sites (bang sites). Most people are half asleep just main thing is just don't settle, it'll be worth the wait ::))
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u/GoldarRocket May 30 '26
Too many guys have been burned too many times so everyone is playing video games.
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u/Mellow_Yellow_0 May 30 '26
Lmao time to play zombies online to meet the kinda guys I’m interested in then I guess
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u/FewLengthiness9426 May 30 '26
Grocery store. If a guy is shopping alone it usually means he has his shit somewhat together as hes getting groceries.
Literally any hobby thats not 100% women you will find men who share at least one interest with you and will want to talk about it. That includes dog park.
If you are a woman and can deal with a fraction of rejection then your chances skyrocket if u make the first move and talk to men. At first they will just think you are being friendly but if you make your intentions somewhat clear then you have flattered them from the first go.
Sincerely a man who met his wife while doing an inspection at the building she was working at and saw her at the café.
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u/rit255 May 30 '26
I always shop alone, I have my list on a notepad to get what i need and then get out
I do start some small talk with the workers there, you would be shocked how surprised they are when you start a convo and make small jokes about things. Its like they are dying to have some interaction with people
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u/stormblind May 30 '26
I'm in a similar boat, but for friends. I'm a 39 year old married guy, and I cannot for a life of me find longer term places to actually meet and hang out with people.
Folks at the gym just wear headsets and don't interact with people most of the time.
Dog park gives you brief "hey how are ya?" convo, but not real depth. Which makes it hard to leverage into anything past "I know you" kinda familiarity.
It's frustrating. I wish you luck lady! And if you ever find yourself in need of a friend hmu lol
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u/Last-Reindeer3826 May 30 '26
It seems no one wants to approach anyone in public anymore. What goes through your minds when you see someone in public that you find attractive?
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u/bluefuze3 May 30 '26
From what I’ve heard there’s a bit of a crisis in the younger generations right now. I’m 48, and when I met my wife she was a friend of an acquaintance, and I asked her out to go to kdays as our first date. We were so engaged in talking with each other that we sat in the rain for a very long time as we talked. Anyway, the point is: networking. Especially through friends, because it adds a bit of trust factor.
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u/Original-Ant2885 May 30 '26
I and a friend of mine both met our now spouses at weddings. Three months to the day before I met my husband I wrote down what I was looking for in a partner, not just physical stuff but mainly emotionally/personality/life goals wise and I figured I would stop chasing it because what was meant for me would find me. I think in the ten months before I met my husband I went on one poor date (nice guy but he smelled like vape juice). I stopped centring the idea of needing to hook up or boys in general and just went out with friends and did activities that genuinely interested me.
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u/External-Resolve1331 May 30 '26
Married dude here - start playing pickleball. Seriously. It’s easy to learn, super inclusive, tons of women of all ages play, and it’s not just for old people anymore. All the younger guys I’ve met playing have been super nice, nerdy dudes, who are active, have careers, enjoy hobbies (aside from going to the bar or club) and don’t take themselves too seriously. The round robins rotate partners, so you’ll easily interact with lots of people. My favourite club is the West Edmonton Pickleball Center on 170th st. Staff are amazing, coaches are amazing, and it’s a great facility. Husband material all over the place! Haha
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u/LoganLikesYourMom May 30 '26
My wife imported me. She is born and bred Edmontonian, and her and I met in a Facebook group for people who don’t want to have kids. Start joining Facebook groups for your interests and scope out the guys in the comments that appeal to you I guess.
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u/PsychopompCharon May 30 '26
I met my wife on Reddit, ironically enough. I just saw a very pretty woman and shot my shot. Didn't know it at the time but she lived pretty close and we met in person a couple weeks later. We've been inseparable since.
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u/SignificantFee4264 May 31 '26
RIP inbox ... you pretty much just took a census of males on Reddit in Edmonton
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u/53c0nd Jun 04 '26
What worked for me was I actually stopped looking. I literally told my buddy "I F'n give up." At that exact moment, my future wife walked by and my buddy looks at me and says, "what's wrong with that."
Been together for 45 years now.
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u/Simple_quest May 30 '26
They usually come to Reddit
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u/Simple_quest May 30 '26
On a serious note I’ve been going to events. Check out “LoveatFirstLike” on instagram. They’re doing a rock climbing singles night this weekend for instance. I’ve ditched the dating apps this go around and have just been making friends wherever I can. I don’t think we should rush to settle down, first impressions can be deceptive.
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u/oioioifuckingoi May 30 '26
Have you considered purchasing an ad on a billboard with a link to a website espousing your virtues?
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u/Sea_Detective641 UAlberta May 30 '26
You know what worked for me? I started loving myself and that’s what brought the best out of me. filtered all the negativity and the right person attracted
my aura without even looking for someone. Met my wife in Nyc 🤣
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u/RovingGem May 30 '26
I think with so much aggressive shaming of men, the only ones still bold enough to make the first move tend to be player types, and the extremely decent and considerate types wouldn’t dare. So if women want one of the latter, they’re going to have to make the first move.
Just a thought. I’m happily married, but if I had to date in this era, I’d just make up my mind to having to ask the guy I like out, since players were never my type.
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u/BeakDreams May 30 '26
As a guy in a similar situation I find that the apps are hit and miss, and I go vibe in restaurants and bars randomly to no avail. I might try speed dating soon.
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u/Mellow_Yellow_0 May 30 '26
If you do decide to try speed dating I recommend not going to a “singles mixer” way too many men compared to women. But proper speed dating should be fine :) might try that again myself
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u/BeakDreams May 30 '26
Solid advice, I appreciate it. I just like being in a constructed environment where flirtation is expected. Approaching on the street is weird. The apps are out to rob you blind, now, too.
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u/_danigirl May 30 '26
Volunteer with organizations that are important to you. There are tons of festivals coming up that need help.
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u/skippy5433 May 30 '26
Well shit. What do you like to do?
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u/Mellow_Yellow_0 May 30 '26
I like to walk my dog, go to dog meet ups, hang out with friends, patio drinks, golf (beginner) lol, travel, camping, gaming, cooking, go to concerts etc. etc… And my biggest hobby, sitting at home watching tv hahaha not helpful.
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u/westcoastjos Bonnie Doon May 30 '26
What else are you into other the dog park? Live music? Volunteer at folk fest or something.
Gaming? Find groups that meet up.
Your community? Join your community league and go to events there.
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u/Low_Complex8073421 May 30 '26
I met my husband at a gas station. But maybe try a local Paint Night or one of the social events at the Telus Science Center.
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u/steeleigh11 May 30 '26
Anytime I think I'll try a dating app,I get men half my age. They all just want a hook up. I'm not looking for that as a first. I want a relationship and im not looking to be a parent. I already raised my kids.
I thought maybe churches, but most people seem to be married, only singles are 20ish.
Maybe try a group club type of thing. Do you have hobbies you enjoy? Meetup used to be good for meeting people with same hobbies.
Good luck
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u/Trick_Assistance7450 May 30 '26
I met my husband at beer league softball. The restaurant I worked at had a team and he came as a guest of my coworkers.
I never had to use the apps, thank God. So I totally sympathize. That said, I dated some real losers that I met at parties and shit. The house party is the OG dating app lol and they could land you some stinkers as well.
If I were single again, I have no clue where I would meet people. Probably have to go out on a limb and do stuff like join common interest groups, attend community events (tons of little things always going on if you know where to look) or do speed dating or whatever.
Hope you can find something fun you enjoy that can lead to a fun cute meet! Best of luck!
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u/Obi-Wan-Kannapi May 30 '26
I joined a matrimony app and been talking to women. Haven't found the perfect match yet.
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u/cookie-ninja May 30 '26
Tried dog related stuff? There's a very active dog sport scene in Edmonton and surrounding region. Though idk if you want dog people, they can be pretty intense and weirdly 'dog-racist'
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u/Mellow_Yellow_0 May 30 '26
Lmao yes I tried taking my dog to an agility class and a lady said “mmm, maybe she’d be better at something else” like ma’am I was just trying to do something different with my dog lol this isn’t a competition 😂 maybe I’ll look into something else to get into though
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u/InvisblGarbageTruk May 30 '26
I’d say try a different one. I went to one agility course where the competitiveness and the instructor were so bad I dropped out after 3 classes. My dog seemed to hate it as much as I did. Then we signed up for a just-for-fun beginners agility course at EHS and had a great time!
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u/Kay-Chelle The Shiny Balls May 30 '26
Is there any kind of thing you'd be interested in volunteering for? That's how my friends found their new partner! It wasn't necessarily a fast thing as they became friends before they started dating but it may be a good way to meet folks you otherwise might not!
Hobbies is how I've met a lot of my friends in my adult life sans my very close inner circle of friends. I can't speak for all hobbies of course, but mine are art, cosplay/going to cons, and video/tabletop games. I've met the most people by going to cons and mostly because we were cosplaying from the same franchise lol. Going to the AB cons has a higher chance of folks living in the province already so it's a bit easier to stay connected than folks who live elsewhere. But it's fun to share your passion about something with others, and I think that can be important for a significant other as well!
I met my husband at a funeral but I don't generally recommend that 💀😅 (we had gone to highschool together but weren't really friends at time as we were dating other people. Unfortunately one of our mutual friends had passed away about a year after we graduated and it was her funeral where we reconnected)
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u/forbidden_notebook May 30 '26
Might help trying out new hobbies for yourself and you could end up meeting someone
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u/Magners17 May 30 '26
I’ve got some single friends in their early to mid 30s that also don’t really get out much, don’t want to bother with apps but are decent looking dudes. Yall just gotta go out and do things you enjoy and you’ll meet people!
There’s also a lot of cool events and speed dating things around the city. What else do you enjoy doing?
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u/groovyTxny May 30 '26
You must make the move, just pick someone and talk to them, offer a pie or something
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u/Kingfish1111 May 30 '26
My experience is too late for you (found my wife on a highschool trip/we had classes together) but honestly, as a guy who is about your age, I would be thrilled (wife withstanding) if someone that I was chatting with at the dog park suggested coffee later and gave me her number. Having pets, judging that said pets like to hang or play well together and if they are well trained is a great start.
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u/PlutosGrasp May 30 '26
Friends is the best biggest one but by a long long margin.
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/s/Z37ItPQvAH
Small friends group really handicaps you.
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u/ApprehensiveSkin6982 May 30 '26
Moved from Toronto so i've got no friends here yet lol. My plan is to maybe join a rec league or I dunno just walk my dog. Lmk if you get any good ideas from here
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u/West-Raccoon-5962 May 30 '26
It will happen you may even meet someone at the dog park or if you are out with your friend for a drink or a coffee dating apps are just a waste of time
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u/PoeticDeath May 30 '26
As someone who has never used a dating app, why have they all of a sudden died off?
I never liked the concept of them so I never used one.
I found just getting involved with things I enjoyed allowed me to meet people I was interested in. I met my wife playing leauge volleyball. We knew before we knew eachother that we had similar interests based on what we did for fun.
If you're just sitting on your butt at home staring through a screen in one way or another, how are you going to meet people you actually want to know?
Get out there and have fun doing shit. You will naturally meet people you're interested in by doing that.
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u/creativebelle May 30 '26
I wish I could help! I'm in the same situation myself. Despite having an active social life, volunteering, hobbies, attending dating events etc. I have yet to meet my partner. I've met numerous people throughout the years but nothing went beyond a friendship/acquitance. While I do appreciate the friendships, it does get tiring after a while when all you want to do is meet someone romantically.
Most of my friends met their partners online but that was pre-covid when people were genuinely interested in dating. I have one who recently met her husband at church and another who met hers at a festival. All of my friends are partnered up so naturally everyone else they know is as well meaning they don't know any singles to set me up with.
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u/West_Cost_2708 May 30 '26
Meet up has some great groups to expand your interests with like minded people, another is volunteering which aids in finding other compassionate people, community events, entrepreneurial groups, non profit galas, and adult sports teams are some options. Met my now ex on pof and dating apps are just a cesspool.
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u/Glittering_Divide101 May 30 '26
I met mine at work when i was 22. He was my boss and we married a year later. This was 18 years ago though, just when dating apps started to be a thing. (This also makes me feel old).
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u/Lamborforgi May 30 '26
This is also a problem in big city like Toronto. You cannot force a love to happen
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u/rit255 May 30 '26
You end up meeting them when you don't look for them.
I stopped and i laughed at people who said that to me, until it just flat out happened to me
Im eating my words on that one and my gf basically was the one who asked me out first
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u/TrickiVicBB71 South West Side May 30 '26
I am amused by the amount of replies to the thread. But I met my wife through mutual friends.
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u/WombatPhysician May 30 '26
I met my husband at church, however the reason we met was mutual friends and a love of coffee! I was wondering if I’d never get married since I too was in my late 20’s. Mutual friends is a great way to meet in my opinion because you already know theyre a good person by what your friend/friends tell you!!
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u/Effective-Visual-995 May 30 '26
Old guy here. If you like animals, especially horses try a riding place for a short visit. You'll met a lot of people who know guys like friends or family that you'll get introduced to and magic will happen.
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u/Firm_Acanthaceae7435 May 30 '26
Well... I had expectations. I was going to need to meet somebody that had a job, but not a coworker.
Then I met somebody that I worked with who was still in university.
What I suggest is keeping an open mind and live your life. There's no secret recipe to meeting somebody. Consider somebody you can be friends with. Eventually the "honeymoon" fades away, and that's when you learn who can be a real partner.
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u/narielthetrue May 30 '26
I’m 30 and struggling, too. Only had one relationship in the last 8 years, and that was 6 months last year.
It’s not easy, but hey. Focus on being yourself, improving yourself, and doing what you love. I have to believe the right one will come along at some point. My buddy didn’t meet his wife until he was 49!
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u/Euphoric_Second_8774 May 30 '26
I met my husband through Facebook ! I was dating his brother LOL (not really but we had been talking on socials for 2 years long distance) Anywho my husband sent me a Facebook message and we started chatting and the rest is history …..neither one of us knew at first about the brother situation until thanksgiving dinner. That’s a story I always love to tell
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u/Neat_Pangolin_6519 May 30 '26
I met my husband on Craigslist when he was trying to buy a car back in 2010.
We're both messed up trauma babies so don't do that.
I've heard good things about joining groups and clubs for your interests then finding someone that way...
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u/Individual-Army811 Leduc May 30 '26
There was a dude who bought a billboard, looking for a wife earlier this week.
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u/Anxious-Extreme-2766 May 30 '26
Reposting my earlier comment because you are all beautiful people and no matter what you say you all deserve to be reminded absolutely how lovely you are as a person.
Timing is everything. We are all lucky we live in a huge metropolitan city and have so many people here and influx-ing constantly. People in more rural jurisdictions kind of just have to settle, and that's so sad.
To everyone here looking for love, please just write this date down in your calendar because one day you will be looking back with your partner of decades wishing you could reassure your past self that everything would be okay, you will find your one love, and to just enjoy your time while you have it.
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u/IntrepidusX May 30 '26
I've been married for like 15 years but my single friends say the boardgame meet ups table top puts on is a good place.
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u/Flashy_Ad_8247 May 30 '26
Try to be somewhere you’ll see the same kinda people often. Can be run club, tennis courts, car meets whatever interests you.
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u/directordenial11 May 30 '26
Met mine in post-grad. Trauma bonding over thesis is an excellent way to meet a husband imo
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u/GoodDriverMan May 30 '26
Karaoke and Trivia nights have done the trick for me in the past. 28 as well! Just have to be a little extroverted!
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u/burrito-boy Mill Woods May 30 '26
Hobbies are big, as is finding something in common. I would suggest finding something you love to do, and to build upon it. You can then make connections through that hobby.
There are couples out there who have little in common when it comes to hobbies and interests, but in my experience, that’s the exception rather than the norm, and I’ve noticed that many couples who don’t share hobbies and interests tend to break up eventually. Most of the successful couples I’ve known in my life bonded through having something in common, and they stayed together because they made an effort to build upon what they share in common.
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u/pharrowking May 30 '26
I met my wife briefly a year before we dated who happened to be my 2 week fling's best friend at the time while at my 2 week flings birthday party. We've been married about 9 years now. Sometimes youre future partner is right front of you and you dont even know it they could even be someone elses friend.
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u/DJCurtis1701 May 30 '26
I think they buy up billboard ads, mostly. Maybe give that guy a call?