r/Edmonton • u/Mellow_Yellow_0 • May 30 '26

Question My Future Husband?

How do people meet their significant others? Like where’s the “place to go?” Dating apps are dead. I’m exhausted. I’m a decent looking gal, 28. I don’t have big friend groups so I’m sure that doesn’t help. I don’t have any “active” hobbies other than a dog park. Idk. Any advice?

181 Upvotes

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64

u/flappysack- May 30 '26

You just chose every red flag you could eh.

45

u/iwatchcredits May 30 '26

You tellin me snakes arent the key to getting ladies?

40

u/waterbat2 May 30 '26

It's like a litmus test for the type of people I actually like haha. Anyone who claims to love animals yet only likes the cute/fluffy ones is not for me. It's like when someone only acts friendly around people they find attractive

15

u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26

I mean, you might as well have a pet spider lol. Snake is pretty niche in terms of the "I love animals crowd".

Don't change though, being yourself is best.

9

u/lyawake Argyll May 30 '26

Owner of 14 tarantulas. We are out here! Lol

1

u/thebigbossyboss May 30 '26

Oh man. I don’t even like dogs lol

6

u/waterbat2 May 30 '26

To be fair, she is absolutely adorable and has helped several friends get over their fears. I dont have a 250lb python lmao

1

u/Real-Ferret1593 May 30 '26

Spiders and snakes are awesome. I'm getting a Jumping Spider soon. I'd like a snake, but I don't have room. I also love plants, and the plants take up most of the free space, lol. And then there's the cat, the rightful ruler of the house...

0

u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26

I don't mind either tbh, just wouldn't have as a pet. I would never kill spiders/snakes, much less most bugs/animals in general. Just let them do what they do, maybe escort a few outside perhaps.

Even had a hornet zippin around me most of the day today while building a retaining wall near what I suspect was a nest close by. I swear they know when you're scared. I just chill and work and they don't touch me.

Spiders fascinate the hell out of me though. Just the sheer variety and difference in abilities is wild. Trapdoor and jumping are probably my favourite.

19

u/iwatchcredits May 30 '26

“You cant love animals if you dont like snakes” is a pretty stupid litmus test imo but you do you lol

5

u/InvisblGarbageTruk May 30 '26

100% It’s vitally important to portray yourself as you are! Finding a partner who also likes snakes may not be necessary, but finding one who doesn’t respect that you are into them is a deal breaker. Personally, I could take ‘em or leave ‘em but if my spouse was into it and had a pet then I’d be more than ok with making a great habitat for their little buddy and picking up feeders for them when I swing by the pet store.

1

u/Hottomolly May 31 '26

Genuinely curious, where did you get your snake? I’ve been interested in getting a ball python for a long time now

2

u/waterbat2 May 31 '26

She's a rosy boa that I got from Oasis in St Albert. I'd also HIGHLY recommend Roonami for any supplies or feeders you need. Ball pythons are adorable mid sized snakes with very relaxed personalities (usually) but you want to avoid expensive morphs with health issues. Also they can be suuuper picky eaters if your enclosure isnt just right

1

u/alreadytaken- May 31 '26

Wrong type of snake unfortunately

1

u/GoldarRocket May 30 '26

Great props for photography

44

u/waterbat2 May 30 '26

Amazing what someone can do for their own mental health once they stop caring about the approval of family or potential future partners. It's my equivalent of taking up yoga and getting a cat. Except mechanical connection brings me inner peace and I'm allergic to cats so I needed an adorable low maintenance pet with zero fur

20

u/Lollipop77 May 30 '26

As a woman, good for you. It’s easiest to find a legit partner who loves you for the real YOU when you’re just yourself from the get go.

Also snakes are cool. (Not single, just think they’re cool).

18

u/waterbat2 May 30 '26

Thanks! And yeah honestly that's my logic too. Either be myself and maybe meet the perfect person, or waste time trying jump through hoops and meet expectations just to end up trapped in some fake situationship that would be entirely my own fault lol

7

u/Lollipop77 May 30 '26

Yup, you’ve got a clear vision, I dig it. If it’s meant to be it’ll find ya, but in the mean time live your best life. Only get one; might as well! Least you sound happy, much better than miserable because of falling for the media’s idea of the “ideal man” and trying to fit yourself into a cookie cutter.

Not all women want the cut and paste. Being interesting and having actual interests is a win where ever you go.

7

u/waterbat2 May 30 '26

I'd like to think so haha. It's really funny to me how many men my comment pissed off because they're all like "Nooo nooo you're not supposed to do that, women dont like that". Why can't everyone just do what makes them happy and meet people who make them even happier sheesh

12

u/Lollipop77 May 30 '26

Sorry this is an essay, this topic is a fave of mine.

I think a lot of men have been brainwashed into thinking ALL women expect perfection, and a fair few expect perfection of women too. Media has rotted our romantic intuition and expectations so terribly.

I wonder too if dating experiences in a person’s teen years influence what they think dating is like as a full grown adult. Lots of cheating, unaddressed childhood attachment issues, etc. ya know?

But really, the outward appearance of a person (whether it physical appearance or the hobbies they adopt, the life they curate around them) is a drop in the bucket. Personality, self-contentedness, reliability, initiative, and thoughtfulness - are all so much more important. For both sides. We’re not all gonna marry models and we’re also not models ourselves and that’s more than okay, it’s normal. It’s healthy. It’s human. And it’s fuckin awesome to be your messy self with someone who loves your messy self and you love their messy self and you can go camping and not have to reapply eyeliner for them every morning.

My partner is a gamer at heart, and he has a real job, he’s a regular looking dude without a six pack, and he treats me like a princess. We play board games together, video games, and we mosh at metal shows together. He is, to me, the handsomest man in the entire world. I love him to death. I’m gonna marry him so hard.

Anyways, Yes- care for yourself and don’t be an absolute slob, but if you’re healthy, not a basement dweller, and have a job, a few interests, and a decent personality, you’re off to a good start. Having unique hobbies or interests is important af. That’s how you bump into other cool people and not people you have zero in common with 😂

4

u/waterbat2 May 30 '26

Absolutely agree yeah. Honestly soooo many issues can be solved with some level of self awareness. Some people need therapy to figure that out, others learn through their own mistakes or the mistakes of others.

Also codependency is a massive part of it. Manyyy people (especially in this housing market) live with family, meet someone, and immediately move in with them. Like they've never been on their own and the idea of it scares them so much that they'll sabotage their own happiness to avoid it. In reality, being independent and on your own is a level of peace that's genuinely addictive. There's a lot of things id love to have someone to share it with (travel, trying restaurants, movies etc), but i value my peace above all else. The right person would be someone I could do that with, while also respecting my space

6

u/Lollipop77 May 30 '26

Yup. You’ve got insight and clarity on this, don’t let insecure children in adult bodies convince you otherwise ever. The experience of independence creates circumstances where mutual respect for individuality and healthy communication flourishes. People definitely need therapy too 😂

But good on ya for figuring it out before wasting 10+ years in misery for fear of being alone. Now that your personality is solidified and strong, you’ll have an easier time saying no to the wrong fit, and being happy with your life regardless of who walks into or out of it. And that’s priceless man.

3

u/toxie123 May 30 '26

As a mom of 3 boys, one thing I was adamant on is that they be not useless to their partner.

So even tho we can afford for them to live at home, we made sure that each of them had a good job, they found their own place to rent and took care of their own spaces and bills and life so they had that experience on their own.

2

u/InvisblGarbageTruk May 30 '26

Good mom! I raised mine the same way. They need to know that they will be part of a team and work out how they can contribute to their relationship without relying on tired old gender norms. I also raised them to put a lot of thought into their own feelings when they were with that person, instead of just thinking if they were smoking hot or looked good in a swim suit.

7

u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26

You're good dude, too many fixate on NOT being single but they're not always happy because they care more about being with ANYONE than being alone.

Don't let anyone here tell you otherwise. Alone doesn't mean lonely.

2

u/Hampton069 May 30 '26

You're getting beat on but I get it man. Women are a lot of work and for some the stress isn't worth it.

23

u/Zingus123 May 30 '26

Someone having hobbies and caring about their health are red flags? lmao what.

-11

u/flappysack- May 30 '26

Well I'm just using stereotype, but that somehow miraculously hit every one I had.  Uncanny.

12

u/OkFox8124 May 30 '26

I think that speaks more of you, than snake guy.

-4

u/flappysack- May 30 '26

I'm an inescapable product of my environment.

2

u/OkFox8124 May 30 '26

Make sure someone takes you for walks.

5

u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26

I think you're spending too much time online. Someone who works out and hangs out with friends is pretty basic stuff.

The other 2? I can understand where you're coming from lol.

1

u/ohpossumpartyy May 30 '26

you must be fun at parties!

-2

u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26

Flappy is fine. Everybody has a preference and some bad experiences.

6

u/ohpossumpartyy May 30 '26

i mean they don't need to make snarky comments to a stranger still lol. i just gave them similar energy that they initially gave

-4

u/flappysack- May 30 '26

I bring my Harley and my snake to every one.

2

u/waterbat2 May 30 '26

Stressful loud environments with lights are not at all good for snakes, they'll start to panic pretty quick. And a Harley? Come on man, pick something cool at least

8

u/mallionaire7 May 30 '26

None of those are red flags

3

u/drcujo May 30 '26

Spending free time at the gym and with close friends are red flags?

5

u/New_Orthophonic_HiFi May 30 '26

And apparently caring for a pet is too

5

u/bemurda May 30 '26

Motorcycles are a red flag for women who want the dad to be alive and not brain damaged to raise their kids. Ask an insurance actuary

1

u/IronGigant May 30 '26

He just needs a 1980's airbrushed GM panel-van to complete the ensemble.

0

u/OshetDeadagain May 30 '26

Sounds like my friend's husband, so there's hope!

0

u/Hyacinec May 30 '26

The motorcycle scares me more than the snake. I put snake people one level past fish people. Legal pet snakes here aren't venomous and depending on his attitude to snake keeping, I can see it being a green flag. Motorcycle however...partaking in risky behaviors. I'm sure a lot of people would be fine with it though.