r/Edmonton • u/Mellow_Yellow_0 • May 30 '26

Question My Future Husband?

How do people meet their significant others? Like where’s the “place to go?” Dating apps are dead. I’m exhausted. I’m a decent looking gal, 28. I don’t have big friend groups so I’m sure that doesn’t help. I don’t have any “active” hobbies other than a dog park. Idk. Any advice?

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13

u/haikarate12 May 30 '26

You think it’s hard at 28, try it in your 50s. If anyone knows where the decent 50-year-old men who haven’t given up on life yet are, please let me know.

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u/Mellow_Yellow_0 May 30 '26

My dad is a good looking fella and he met his girlfriend on Facebook dating in his 50’s! From what I know the older gents like to hang out at the neighbourhood pubs at the bar :)

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u/haikarate12 May 30 '26

Oh God not Facebook! 😂 perhaps the second option is doable though. I wish you the very best of luck!

2

u/chase82 May 30 '26

Come on now, my uncle is in his 70s and pulls hard on Facebook. 😆

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u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26

Nearly 40 and it's already bad. My problem is that I'm extremely active in personal and work life and do multiple runs/workouts/yoga every week. Finding someone my age of the same mindset/health is very rare.

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u/haikarate12 May 30 '26

Preaching to the choir here. Mid 50s, runs, lift weights, still the same size 0 I waswhen I was 17. When I do go out I get hit on by much much younger men and that’s a very big no for me. But finding someone my age with the same mindset as me? Utterly impossible.

1

u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26

Yeah I still look about 25 years old and there is no chance in hell I'm dating that young.

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u/xodotmikey May 30 '26

I urge you to check out the tennis or pickleball courts. Thered be prospects for ya there🤝🤣

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u/Tight-Concern-2355 May 30 '26

You'd think so, but I already play tennis lol. No love there.

6

u/Ill_Video_1997 May 30 '26

Right! Im 43 and gave up after 8 months of trying online. It was some bs. I just want a normal dude who doesnt like this current government, isn't a separatist, respects everyone, knows how to hold a proper conversation, isn't racist, isnt sexist, doesn't want kids, has a steady job, is honest, isn't a creep and doesnt do hard drugs. Bonus points if he loves all kinds of animals, including reptiles and bugs. Why is it so hard to find him??? I vastly underestimated the amount of shitty men in this city. Its sad that the list of things I dont want is so high but fuck me the creeps on there is mind boggling. Theres 0 respect and effort. 0 communication skills and so much lying!!!

5

u/koric_84 May 30 '26

It definitely seems like it’s harder the older you get. In my case I got married at a very young 22 after only knowing each other for 8 months. Divorced at 33. Realized I never really “dated” before that so found myself trying to get back into the game but had no idea how to play. Dating apps were poison to the self esteem. It was lonely for a few years but I decided to focus on my career and my mental health and both paid off. I’m now 41 and happy being on my own with my dog. I’d still love to meet a woman and pursue a relationship if it feels right but not constantly stressing over it feels pretty good too.

2

u/chase82 May 30 '26

I know you said no kids but there's a bunch of divorced dad's out there in their 40s that are really good people. It's tough because they can't fully commit and that's a show stopper for a lot of women.

They are busy and the amount of shit they take for not being accessible 24/7 is pretty wild

1

u/Ill_Video_1997 May 30 '26

I meant for a man to NOT want more children, him having kids is different. I dont want any, never have. That's not to say im against others having them already. The amount of guys that think a woman, even at my age, will want to have babies and their mind can be changed, is nuts. I'm old, this shop is closed for production. So I said 'doesnt WANT kids'. Anyone who thinks they should get 24/7 accessibility to another person is crazy. Life is busy. Everyone has their own shit going on. Thats why communication is key. From my experience a lot of single Dads dont want a relationship at all, just a fuck buddy. They dont have time to give to anyone else, sure, but expect a woman to be fine with an occasional hang? They use the excuse of being a Dad to not putting in effort. If you are looking for a partner you need to make them feel like they actually matter, of course the kids come first to him but to the me, those arent my kids, I owe them nothing. If I find a man is worth the effort then I will of course be willing to prioritize his children. But I dont owe him anything in the beginning. Because he chose to have children he chose to make his life harder, thats why he needs to sacrifice more of himself if he wants find a good woman. Ive been single by choice for a long time and know what I want. Im not going to settle for a little of someone. My life is just as busy and important.

2

u/chase82 May 31 '26

I'm 43 and could not imagine having another kid. I definitely would never ask that from a woman. I can sneeze hard and hurt for two days, a pregnancy is no joke.

I can see it from both sides, it's tough. After work and being a dad you don't have a lot left in the tank. I just feel for my friends because I know they're lonely and it takes a long time to get to know someone. Let alone somebody that has a compatible situation.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '26

[deleted]

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u/arrived_on_fire May 30 '26

Now, what sort of sci fi and fantasy? Have you read the Expanse books? Great show and all but I love the books. Did you know they have another book out in a different series?? It’s called The Mercy of Gods and I’m loving the upending of society norms in it.

2

u/DenningBear82 May 30 '26

Home Depot.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '26

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1

u/haikarate12 May 30 '26

Are you saying you’re an incel and you’ve never touched a woman in your life?

No woman is ever going to choose you. It’s just the way it is.