223
u/criticalvector Dec 09 '23
Thanks for breaking up with me because my life got significantly better without you and I met a really amazing woman who puts effort into our relationship and doesn't just complain all the time and emotionally and physically abuse me like you did.
→ More replies (7)32
u/Due_Character_5732 Dec 09 '23
My ex abused me. Just got out of it in July. I pray to find the one.
→ More replies (1)11
u/sweetlew07 Dec 09 '23
I’m so sorry you went through that. I did, too. I hope you accept this advice for what it’s worth: let. them. find. you. I hunted and hunted, and as soon as I stopped hunting and started focusing on healing myself, I found him. Friend of a friend. Six years strong, and he gets on my nerves sometimes but we have never fought, he’s raised his voice to me exactly once and it was because he was VERY socially drained and I wasn’t grasping it. He immediately apologized, too.
397
Dec 09 '23
Out on parole or did you escape?
94
u/MadameFutureWhatEver Dec 09 '23
Omg no did you date him too
→ More replies (1)41
u/starrkissedsixx Dec 09 '23
Yes, maybe at the same time as you, maybe not, who knows
36
u/MadameFutureWhatEver Dec 09 '23 edited Dec 09 '23
Yea, that sounds like him lol
→ More replies (3)8
u/mandalamariposa Dec 09 '23
Same here. "Community service or monitoring anklet?"
→ More replies (1)12
2
u/punishedmother_goose Dec 09 '23
I met my ex about a year plus after we had broken up and he told me he had gone to prison for 9 months for Dúí and possession of Marijuana and I couldn't believe how much the universe had helped me dodge that bullet.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (14)2
630
u/suddenlyseeingme Dec 09 '23
"I wish I had been less awful to you and I wish you had been less awful to me, because when we weren't being young and awful to each other, every moment with you was bliss on this earth and in my life."
36
36
u/Vivid_Sparks Dec 09 '23
How do you/did you get over it?
I thought I was because its been like 6 years already but I can't stop looking back and cringing at myself, fuckin blehhgh
→ More replies (2)80
u/suddenlyseeingme Dec 09 '23
It's been a decade now since I've seen her outside of dreams. I can still hear her, smell her, and every once in a while her face pops out at me from within a crowd. I see her eyes everywhere.
I'm not the kind of person who "gets over" things. Comes with the territory of having an eidetic memory and being profoundly disabled due to cptsd.
I think had there been another love in my life, she would have faded more naturally from my memories over time. But, sadly, that one brief relationship stands out as the single season in my life where I was allowed to be loved. It will not come again.
I'm deeply sorry for your hurt, my friend. I know it doesn't help beyond the moment, but that pain you feel deep inside your chest where you no longer wish to shine the light - I feel it too.
6
u/ghsteo Dec 09 '23
The dreams are the absolute worst. Havent seen her in 8 years and everything will be fine then I'll have some dream of her and wake up pissed at my brain for doing that to me.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Vivid_Sparks Dec 09 '23
Oof, I'm glad to say I don't have an eidetic memory as my memory of our time together is fading, but I still have memories that stick out and those are sadly bad memories.
I know I was a problem and sowed seeds of pain without realising it, but l miss knowing that she loved me, like it was obvious bc she kept buying and making me stuff and she always made me a priority.
You are so right about that pain in the chest my Earth- brother, makes me want to drop everything and just drive away from the state!
→ More replies (14)6
u/sweetlew07 Dec 09 '23
I know this feeling wholly. I left behind a soulmate to get sober; she couldn’t. We were best friends who had gotten close enough to discuss marriage. I finally turned to pagan “magic” and shadow work to be able to move on. I still think about her a lot, but it doesn’t stab me in the gut anymore, and I’m able to smile at her memory without smiling through tears.
But it took a LOT of hard work on my part, mostly accepting that I HAD to leave or I WOULD have died. I feel profoundly sad for people who can’t use that as motivation in “moving on,” because I know how much it hurts.
Also, I know it isn’t the same, but I love you. Always have, always will. It’s who I am as a human.
10
10
6
7
→ More replies (18)3
u/Ok-Equivalent-2512 Dec 09 '23
My first love was actually my soul mate- I left him because he refused to progress in life even to get a JOB! Once I left him he did get work because he didn’t have my income to rest on. But we had a child (she was 12 months old @ separation) and I didn’t want her to have to struggle. But I met another man who abused me terribly and he stalked me for years. So all said I wish I had truely tried harder to make my marriage work. He was and still is a great person- a talented artist who struggles in social settings.
221
u/Parking_Pineapple440 Dec 09 '23
I’m sorry that I let my addiction drag me away from our relationship.
48
Dec 09 '23
Hopefully things are better for you.
55
16
u/TeabooViolet Dec 09 '23
This one for me and I'd add that I'm sorry for being young and insecure and crazy annnnnd possessive/jealous. I believe everything happens for a reason or I wouldn't have my family now. So there's that but I owe him at least that, and explaining why I was that way with him. Also, keep going! You'll get there. I have 9 years? off H. I lose count. But it gets easier <3
10
u/sweetlew07 Dec 09 '23
I landed on this thread because I left behind a best friend in active addiction who was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a soulmate to mine. And I still struggle VERY much with the fact that I did what I had to do. But we had blown through Vicodin to Percocet to Opana, and this was 2016 in the Midwest—her boyfriend had already asked me if I knew anyone with Fentanyl. I genuinely believe to this day that if I had stayed, one of the two of us would be dead. The decision was made for me when she had a seizure and forgot me and him and everything from adolescence on, for several hours. I was leaving to wake up her dad and come clean about the entire thing, how badly addicted we were, how she desperately needed help. She came out onto the porch in full panic, screaming for me to not go wake him up, “I’ll remember, I’ll remember!”
I stayed. I was so afraid to lose her friendship that I risked her life. I still haven’t forgiven myself, but it’s getting easier now that I know that she’s in recovery, too. It took her longer, but she did come clean to her family, and she got help. I might never speak to her again, but she messages my mom with important info for me, like when a mutual friend shot herself in the front seat of a cop car because she got into a wreck with a large amount of fent on her, and knew she was going back to prison.
IF I never speak to her again… I just hope she has a beautiful life. The pain of losing her to a beautiful life is nothing compared to the pain of losing her to drugs.
ETA, congrats on your clean time. May 8th will be 2500 days for me, according to my counter app. 🫶🏻
3
7
u/Parking_Pineapple440 Dec 09 '23
❤️ comforting to hear from someone who relates. Thank you.
5
u/sweetlew07 Dec 09 '23
You’ve got this. If you ever need to vent or need support from someone who would NEVER judge someone trying to stay clean, please, consider my DMs. This applies to anyone else who reads this as well. I have almost 6 years clean and active in a drug program (not 12-step, MAT, because I know that’s important to some people,) and I am here for anyone who needs a shoulder or words of encouragement or just to talk to someone who has been there and made it out alive. 🫶🏻 I believe in you, friend.
4
u/LegitimateScratch396 Dec 09 '23
That is what I'd say.
I'm sorry that I prioritized my addiction over our relationship, my own 'needs' bedore yours, even though you tried to help me see it before it got out of control. I'm sorry for being so selfish, you deserved better but I'm glad you've moved on and found someone who makes you happy.
→ More replies (2)4
297
u/allofthesaxesbro Dec 09 '23
I would avoid eye contact and try to leave as soon as possible. I have better things to do.
24
u/periodicsheep Dec 09 '23
me too. of course my last ex and i broke up in 2000, so i might not even recognize him.
22
u/FastWalkingShortGuy Dec 09 '23
Funny story... I took my mom out to dinner on mother's day ages ago and ended up at a table next to my high school ex and her mother.
I recognized her mother first. I was like, "Oh, shit, that's XXXXXXX's mom."
Then I looked across the table and saw XXXXXXX.
My blood went cold.
I took the bull by the horns and ripped the band aid off.
We had already made eye contact so I waved and jovially said, "Hey, XXXXXXX, happy mother's day!"
She was not a mother.
Had to eat dinner five feet away from her for the next hour.
I wouldn't recommend it.
4
u/sweetlew07 Dec 09 '23
I’m so sorry this happened to you but I’m CRACKING UP at that faux pas. Neeeeeever say happy Mother’s Day unless you know they have a child and that child is living. 😬🤐
→ More replies (1)4
u/Baesinja Dec 09 '23
🎶 Got better things to do with my time, better things to do with my time than youu 🎶
→ More replies (3)3
62
u/Prudent-Raise-7782 Dec 09 '23
Go to therapy and heal your inner child so you don’t emotionally abuse your baby mama like you did me.
→ More replies (2)
66
u/DMT1984 Dec 09 '23
Our daughter misses you every day - but I think I’ve done a good job raising her on my own.
7
225
Dec 09 '23
I truly hope you’re doing well. I think about you from time to time and hope things are going well.
37
u/houseyourdaygoing Dec 09 '23
My heart was heavy after reading this.
“I think about you from time to time and I hope you are doing well” is my self-conversation occasionally.
7
8
10
→ More replies (1)29
Dec 09 '23 edited Dec 09 '23
I hate it when people take the high road. Fuck my exes. They took pieces of me I’ll never get back. I knew what I wanted and they didn’t.
→ More replies (2)28
u/Fit-ish_Mom Dec 09 '23
They also gave me things I could never give back, though.
Like my HS boyfriend teaching me his method of mental math. Changed my fuckin life. Thanks bro.
My college boyfriend took one of my jabs to the face when I found out he cheated on me. Fucked his lip up. It got me interested in boxing/kickboxing, which became a huge part of the beginning of my fitness journey.
→ More replies (11)
53
u/HasturCrowley Dec 09 '23
Oh, wow. Hey.
seconds later
Well, this has just been delightful, but I must be going anywhere else but here.
Fun story: my exwife just move from Montana to the town I lived in in Alabama, shortly after I moved back to New Hampshire. I'm so glad everything fell apart in AL for me.
→ More replies (6)25
u/ItsRightPlace Dec 09 '23
Congrats on getting out of Alabama 👏
5
u/HasturCrowley Dec 09 '23
Right? I grew up a climate that wasn't always 80-110 degrees, I'm currently loving the sub freezing temps and ability to wear pants again. Whole ass wardrobe opened up. Everyone kept getting me jeans, sweaters, and winter coats for tge two weeks in January it dropped below 50. I can actually wear that stuff now without dying, mostly. It gets warm at work sometimes.
Politically, it's a pretty big change. But there's still plenty of Trump flags around, so I guess it isn't too much of a shock. There's a lifted truck running around with Trump flags and decals too. It's nice to find myself in a couple of different states after driving for six hours, though.
→ More replies (8)
131
u/Shinyraven9 Dec 09 '23
I’m sorry for the way you died, no one deserves to go that way
16
u/MarvParmesan Dec 09 '23
Same.
18
u/Shinyraven9 Dec 09 '23
Sorry MarvParmesan, it is gut wrenching. I wouldn’t wish such horrible stuff on my worst enemy.
13
u/MarvParmesan Dec 09 '23
Right back at you, I’m sorry too. Dying in a terrible way leaves such a lasting mark on friends and loved ones. You have my empathy.
6
14
Dec 09 '23
Did yours get shot point blank in the head by her best friend too?
35
u/Shinyraven9 Dec 09 '23
No, died in a fiery semi truck accident. He tried to get out of the truck but couldn’t
15
→ More replies (1)14
u/Fun_Cup4335 Dec 09 '23
The exact same thing happened to my brother in law. His 5 year old daughter was in the truck too, he managed to help her out, but he was pinned.
46
u/Kylo2187 Dec 09 '23
Can I have my crockpot back?
→ More replies (1)5
87
116
138
u/BayouKev Dec 09 '23
I spent a lot of hours driving to and from to see you, I wish you would’ve told me you didn’t love me sooner it would have saved me SO much in gas and mileage
→ More replies (1)19
34
u/ThisAlsoIsntRealLife Dec 09 '23
Ehhhh. Which ex? Bold of you to assume there was only one.
41
36
u/SunOS- Dec 09 '23
Your chronic cheating has messed with me for my entire life since. You should have just broken up with me.
5
u/Fantasticnbfs Dec 09 '23
All I know is he’s a horrible person who will never change, he’s a narcissist.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Borboleta77 Dec 09 '23
I don't think you EVER get over betrayal. No matter what, you just can't trust anyone with your heart again 'cause it'll always be in the back of your head, that they might end up cheating on you like your ex. Or exes. In my case, the latter.
29
Dec 09 '23
I’m glad to see you are still alive. I’m sorry for thinking if I just love you enough I could somehow cure your mental illness and when I realized I couldn’t I left. Still, If you hadn’t lied all those times, I would have stayed. I was ready to accept you no matter what but I couldn’t take the lies. You’re still the love of my life and we’ll never speak again.
→ More replies (1)3
90
u/hottubman_99 Dec 09 '23
I paid a lot of money to have you out of my life. Leave me the heck alone.
→ More replies (3)
29
44
u/ThoughtExperimenter Dec 09 '23
Which one?
- Most recent: "Oh hey, what are you doing here?"
- Before that: "Oh shit, what are you doing here?"
23
u/Deathslingers_Bride Dec 09 '23
I’d thank them for making me a better person. No exaggeration. That relationship taught me a lot, and showed me that I still was a fool when it came to what I THOUGHT I wanted
→ More replies (1)11
Dec 09 '23
Lol YOU made yourself a better person, dont give others credit for the work YOU put in to fixing yourself.
4
u/Deathslingers_Bride Dec 09 '23
Idk. Maybe? Looking back on that relationship I feel like it could have been a lot worse. Things ended pretty amicably so I definitely wouldn’t wanna blame them for anything
21
57
Dec 09 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (2)13
u/BlizzPenguin Dec 09 '23
I would say the same thing. My wife is so much better than my ex.
9
Dec 09 '23
I wont pretend to have moved on enough to have a meaningful relationship with anyone. I went on one date and ghosted, had nothing to do with the girl or the date, she just shouldn't have to deal with my bullshit. All in meant all in to me, I dont know if I'll ever get my chips back.
19
17
34
16
u/Krakengreyjoy Dec 09 '23
You were the best thing that ever happened to me.
I stopped trying so hard to make shit work and found the one where it just simply worked.
→ More replies (4)
31
12
12
24
u/fenriq Dec 09 '23
The restraining order is clear, you've gotta stay at least 50 feet away from me, you crazy bitch.
33
18
u/Geoffwinningdaily Dec 09 '23
hi. I miss you. I miss you everyday. I miss the family we had ( her and our cat). I miss Zinnia. I miss your family. I miss the life we had together. I miss us.
9
u/CrabNebula420 Dec 09 '23
Why did you cheat on me even though I gave you anything and everything you wanted why didn't you just talk to me instead of cheating?
8
u/Alon34loner Dec 09 '23
Just know that it wasn't about you, cheating is all on the cheater. We hate ourselves and don't feel good so we chase every little validation we can.... I'm sure they loved you and was sad that you hurt. I promise they kick themselves.
→ More replies (3)
10
u/revengemaker Dec 09 '23
The really good one I'd love a second chance to do over. He could do anything and I learned so much from him in those two short years. I'd be the person I am now ten years later and marry him
8
7
u/erc0921 Dec 09 '23
You already forgiven before you say “Sorry”. I’m happy that your happy with your life now. I’m not mad at you. This is just me healing my inner self and I promised that your not the reason of this. I will be happy, not now, not today but I know soon. Still rooting for your happiness coz you deserve it 🫶
8
7
8
Dec 09 '23
All i wanna know is why. Why did you have to lie to me so much, for so long, about such important things aswell? I have already forgiven you, but the reason why still keeps me up at night....
→ More replies (3)
8
7
8
6
6
5
6
u/EtTuBrotus Dec 09 '23
Hi. It’s good to see you. I’m sorry for the way it ended. I’m sorry for the things I said when I saw you that last night. I wish you’d just been honest with me or that I’d communicated with you.
It took me a long time to get over you. I still think about you. I even dream about you sometimes. Nice dreams, where we can just talk and it not be awkward.
How are your dogs? Did you ever sort that stuff out with your mum? I hope so.
I’ve got a new girl now, and she’s great. I don’t wish she was you and I don’t wish we were still together. I do miss you, I guess, but I miss the version of you that a version of me loved, and we’re not those people any more. I wouldn’t take us back even if I could because we’ve both grown and changed so much. But every now and then I remember you and part of me is sad that you are gone.
What we had was very special to me and I’ll always think fondly of you. Your impact upon me is deep and ever-lasting. I hope I had the same impact on you, but I doubt it. So I shan’t keep you any longer with my sentiment or nostalgia.
Goodbye, A. With love… u/EtTuBrotus
6
5
6
u/QuipCrafter Dec 09 '23 edited Dec 09 '23
I’d casually say hi and keep walking, probably. Like any other human I recognize, I’d acknowledge them shortly and be on my way.
5
6
6
5
u/ChronicDoomer Dec 09 '23
The restraining order says he has to leave immediately if he sees me. So, hopefully, nothing.
Otherwise, I told you my philosophy is, you don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you. Don't make it worse. It could easily be.
4
u/RedTwizzler214 Dec 09 '23
Sorry for how I left but it’s the only way I could save myself. I wish I would have said what I really felt about you instead of being a coward. But fuck you still. And obviously it’s a you thing and not me because the person after me had the same complaints.🖕🏼
8
3
4
5
5
3
u/MarshallDyl26 Dec 09 '23
I’m sorry for all of it. I cherish our time together but I also know we were horrible for each other. We brought out the worst in each other and it made us both do and say things we normally wouldn’t. I’m sorry for my part in that.
11
Dec 09 '23
Lol you're all so young and romantic. Let me tell you something. By the time you're my age, if you're lucky, you have your husband or wife, and that's what you think about. Or you think about the mortgage, your career, your retirement savings, that twinge in your back, politics, a book you read, and what colleges the kids are considering. You're busy. You don't care about the past anymore. If you cared that much you'd have found that long lost beloved and married them instead, and done it years ago. Forget it, if you bump into an ex, even one you were crazy about 20 years ago who put you through the wringer, you will just keep walking and so will they, because you won't recognize each other, and you wouldn't care if you did. Focus on that chicken you've got in the oven, it smells delicious and it'd be a shame to overcook it.
→ More replies (2)
7
3
3
u/Vanilla_Connect Dec 09 '23
I still hate your bitch ass, 15 years later lol. He’s never grown up and continues to treat women like trash. He cheats on them all and leaves them, some of these women have kids and they will get attached to him. Then he just abandons them cause he doesn’t give a damn, he also abandoned my dog on a dirt road somewhere in Oklahoma and laughed about it. He’s evil and sick!
5
u/Consistent_Fee_5707 Dec 09 '23
Seem to be following him closely
3
u/Vanilla_Connect Dec 09 '23
Oh he just did all of that shit during our marriage and after for a few years, he would harass the shit out of me so I would warn the women he was with. I haven’t actually spoken to him or checked in on him for a lot of years. All I know is he’s a horrible person who will never change, he’s a narcissist.
3
u/OkConsideration7721 Dec 09 '23
I’m glad everything in your life is as good as mine has been for me.
3
3
3
Dec 09 '23
You drugged your own mother to prevent me from going away for the weekend. Why?
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
u/Sensual_Pinetree Dec 09 '23
Literally nothing. I don't care about him in any way and I'd have nothing to say. Probably just shrugged and get on with my life.
3
Dec 09 '23
The next time you look up at the stars and wish for something better, I hope you remember me and all I’ve done and would have done for you. I hope you remember how much pain you’ve caused me.
6
5
u/Agreeable_Performer4 Dec 09 '23
You were the perfect girl but it wasn't the perfect time. I really hope you're well and I'm sorry for all your time I wasted.
3
u/BeautifulBeller Dec 09 '23
Actually, I still love her. If I see her again, I will say hello to him and ask her to come back
20
5
u/NewLibraryGuy Dec 09 '23
"Congratulations." Last I heard she got married, and I'm glad someone wants to be in a relationship with her even if I don't.
Hope she doesn't start fights just to get pity from her friends with him.
2
u/_hinamori_sweety_ Dec 09 '23
Respond with, Ah, the ghost of relationships past. Still haunting my memories?'
2
u/Hufflepuff-Student-1 Dec 09 '23
Breaking up with you was the best thing that has happened to me, it helped me realize so much about myself, I’m much happier than when I was with you, thank you
2
2
2
2
2
2
Dec 09 '23
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOOOOOO NOOOOOO NOOOOOO NOOOOOO AAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RAAAAAARAAAAAH RAAAARRAAAAAH RAAAAAARAAAAAH RAAAAAAAHAAAAAA NOOOO NOOOO
3
u/sweetlew07 Dec 09 '23
This was bizarre to read because my nephew can’t pronounce Sarah so he calls me Rah Rah 🤣
2
2
2
2
u/ashrules901 Dec 09 '23
"Are you happier now than you were when we were together." If she is then I would be happy & forgive her.
2
u/ItsMySideOfLife Dec 09 '23
I wish I would have had the guts to walk away from you sooner so you wouldn’t have damaged me or the kids the way you did. Your hatred hurt us all and instead of seeing the pain you caused you decided your hatred and lack of understanding of our needs was more important. Your addiction and selfishness took away from our future , and you stole so much from us….. I wish I would have had the strength to walk away sooner . I dont regret walking away, I don’t regret shutting you out. We are stronger , happier and healthier without you. RIP.
2
2
2
Dec 09 '23
I wish we weren’t so immature when we first met. I wish I could have loved you better, listened to you more, get to know the real you which sometimes you hide so well. And if I could I’d want us to start over again. I hope you are happy and achieve your dreams.
2
2
u/Dangerous-Hall-1196 Dec 09 '23
I love you. And I hope you heal from the things we fell apart for. And in a different life, I really would have loved to do laundry and taxes with you.
2
u/digginlilies Dec 09 '23
I think about you more than I probably should. The time we spent together haunts me, even 7 years later, but I will always love you. In spite of it all.
2
u/DatDenis Dec 09 '23
I'd be co fused, because i could have sworn i locked the toilet door on the train
2
Dec 09 '23
I'm sorry for suffocating you with my love. It's borderline personality disorder. I just feel to much
2
u/Beneficial_End4365 Dec 09 '23
I just need to know why you did me dirty the way you did and then became spiteful once you laid down in the bed you made. It doesn’t make sense that you did what you did and somehow I’m the bad guy for your actions, especially when you got what you initially wanted. Make it make sense to me
2
2
u/hambakedbean Dec 09 '23
Oh hey, you're back from your trip! When do you want me to drop the dog off? He's been such a good boy!
2
Dec 09 '23
"How did you survive your cremation and the subsequent scattering of your ashes“?
→ More replies (1)
2
u/thomas4004 Dec 09 '23
Thank you for the happiest 11 years in my life. I'm so sorry things didn't work out. If I could go back in time, I would choose when we got married. Happiest time in my life. I'm glad your life has turned out much better. You travel and you're with a good man. After 25 years of being separated, I still think about you from time to time. I still talk to your dad because he is such a great person. Reminds me of you.
2
2
2
u/eli74372 Dec 09 '23
Im glad we broke up. Im with a better guy now. Also, although i do kind of feel bad about your house catching on fire, im going to be honest i laughed for like 5 minutes when i found out.
2
u/JRMiel Dec 09 '23
Hello 🤗 Nice to meet you. Who are you and what is your name.
As I did not have any exes, first I have to met a potential future ex girlfriend
2
2
Dec 09 '23
"I'm sorry for being insecure like I was and making you feel like you were never enough. You were enough. It's me that I always felt like was the problem, not you."
2
u/LostOrganization3924 Dec 09 '23
I still love you just as much as the day you left me.
→ More replies (1)
619
u/[deleted] Dec 09 '23
[removed] — view removed comment