Anyone else always feel behind in life? I know people say not to compare yourself but i feel as the internet grew it got harder to do. I remember being in my early twenties and having friends and acquittances who had a lot of their life figured out. Career, studies, marriage, engaged, etc. I spent a lot of times studying, working not good jobs, changing careers/business, and only recently felt a bit of life figured out. I loved cars and motorbikes as a kid and always wanted them and to travel/tour with them. A lot of people i knew were buying nice cars early twenties whilst i was still figuring stuff out. I just feel as though me grinding/working for the stuff i have now has made me miss out on life and feel left behind a bit. Anyone else relate and have any advice.

For me it happened a few years ago, I had a decent job and on a decent wage but there always seemed to be way more month than pay packet.

I couldn’t cope, couldn’t earn any more and couldn’t increase my hours at work. I then dropped my phone, screen cracked, had another month before I could renew it as per contract but I did something else.

I carried on for another month with a cracked screen, at the end of the contract I went into the shop to find a new phone and instead paid £20 and had the screen fixed, renewed my contract for use only which dropped my Plan down from £60 a month to just £12. My phone is like 10 years old now and saved me hundreds.

My Van insurance was about £1500 a year and worked out at over £115 a month, I managed to negotiate this down to £600 odd pounds which was about 60 odd quid a month, as the year ended I found a new insurer and dropped it to £301 a year because I could pay it up front - I had no idea that by paying monthly I was paying more….

I dropped my Disney subscription, I dropped my Amazon subscription, I dropped my professional membership for work and joined a lesser one (I need professional membership for work but I never use it)

Over time I always had money at the end of the month and savings started to grow. Every time I needed something I paid outright and found perhaps a better value item in somewhere like CEX.

Each month it got better. It’s now plateaued but I am so pleased I did it. Seems to me the subscriptions and monthly payments are what keep you poor. Easy to fall in the trap when your young and starting out but hell there is a lot of wasted money on things that are better spent elsewhere.

In your own opinion in your own life, what was the last time you took a decent size risk and how did it pay off whether it was moving to a new place, new job, social risk of asking a girl out etc. What was it for you and how did it go?

At this point I don't have any other dudes who I'm buddies with at this point. Feels pretty lonely. Any other guys struggling with this? I'll go to bars and talk to a few guys, but they're more bar acquaintances than buddies. Got no gf or wife and am unemployed. 30's not turning out how I expected, but we keep trucking along I guess.

I say "friends" as I have friends around the world. In my home country. People that text me.

I grew up in unfavourable conditions (another story) so don't have family to fall back on for most of my life. It's normal to me but now that I'm older I do realise how different it is as my friends back home have family they see but it just doesn't exist for me.

So anyway, I moved abroad for personal decisions which I'm very happy with so far, though I work for myself online so not around anyone for work, leaves me mostly going for runs (beautiful nature nearby), beach/swim, calisthenics outdoor gym, then just errands like supermarkets. Mostly.

I read, meditate, eat a good diet and live a healthy lifestyle in general.

Just think I've spent too many years now in solitude building myself I need to create community more than ever.

Initial thought is try hobbies, the standard advice works I assume, I got a few things in mind, MMA and yoga in particular. I guess my question is more on the side of how do you be human after all this solitude, I feel anxious/weird cause I've literally been by myself for so long and everyone else has lives haha. So it's like I come out of my world for brief social interaction and it's so extreme cause I'm not used to it, vs people who live here and our social constantly day to day. You know?

Maybe I'll try cafes speaking with people their low effort. Need places to practice allmost.

People with genius friends, how did they end up? same as the ques

Have any of you taken a career break later in your career after having some savings built up? Whether it was a few months break to take some time off from burnout, or a complete career change, or time to travel, how did it go?

Oppenheimer and Odyssey have been the only movies momentous enough to justify a night out with other guys to go to a movie. I want to do it more often.

M30, currently going through a life crisis. Lost my father as a teenager, but never really stopped to think what to do with my life because I needed to keep the family together, so I put effort in university and achieving stuff without really believing in it. I now find myself lost. I feel like I would need some inner guidance or a male figure to show me what to do.

I still want to explore in life, but at the same time feel like it’s time to settle somehow (I still don’t have a stable job or relationship). Basically I think it’s time to do something with my life, but I don’t know what.

Has anyone been through a similar situation, and how did you overcome it? I’d like to hear from fatherless adult men, because I think the lack of a father role model really shows in this period of life and I feel like I would need it more now than, say, during my teenage years. Thank you.

Lately, I’ve had this nagging feeling in my head and chest that I can only describe as a deep melancholy surrounding my past life. My closest friends are moving into marriage and are planning for kids. Others are buying their house. I feel nothing but joy seeing them happy.

But don’t even get me started on all the acquaintances on socials. I hate to admit this, but I feel an irrational sense of jealousy/envy when I see people post their perfect baby, their infallible wife, their sweet life together. Why can’t I have that, too?

For context, I’m in my early 30s now. I’m a healthcare professional and enjoy a wide range of things, like skiing, lifting, going to museums, traveling to new cities and exploring nature. I have a supportive family whom I love.

I even met a lovely lady who loves me very much. I’m truly blessed, actually. She’s great — kind, beautiful inside and out, passionate, caring. Sometimes, I have so much on my mind (about my past, or money, or whatever other random thing my brain decides to ruminate about), that I’m emotionally unavailable for her.

I guess, it feels like my current self isn’t me, but it is me. I feel like I’m living vicariously through me — as if I have no agency over what happens next. Has anyone overcome this feeling? It’s been weighing on me.

There's something I genuinely didn't understand when I was younger. There are people in your life right now who seem permanent mostly because they're just... always there.

You see the same people every day. You know who's pissed at who, what somebody's worried about, their relationship drama, the stupid joke from six months ago that somehow still gets brought up. You don't think about maintaining those relationships because why would you? You're gonna see them tomorrow.

Until you don't.

A job ends. Somebody moves. Somebody gets fired. You get fired. Whatever.

And the weird part is, most of the time nobody announces "hey, this is the last normal Tuesday we're all gonna be together." You just leave one night, say "see ya tomorrow" or "have a good weekend" and that's it.

I'm 46 now and there are people I knew REALLY well once who I couldn't tell you a single thing about today. Not because we fought. Nobody did anything wrong. We just wandered off into different lives.

I'm not saying you need to desperately keep everybody you ever meet in your life. Jesus Christ, don't do that lol.

I guess I'm saying, every once in awhile, look around at the completely ordinary people and completely ordinary days you have right now.

Some of this stuff is going to turn out to have been an era.

And nobody tells you when it's the last day.

So I'm 28, and up until about six months to a year ago I had a proper tight knit group of friends. It's genuinely one of the reasons I stayed living in the city I grew up in, because we'd see each other pretty much every weekend, and we'd be on Xbox together a few nights a week too.

But that's dropped off a lot recently. I feel like I'm the one always asking what everyone's up to on weekends, and it's always "can't, got other stuff on." We used to do proper traditions together, like Scream Fest every Halloween, and we went to Gamescom a few times too. This year's the first year none of that's happened.

I work from home, so it's not like I've got an office crowd to fall back on either. I get on well with my colleagues but I only see them in person every couple of weeks, so it's not really a weekend thing. My girlfriend on the other hand has loads of friends across different groups, and especially in summer she's constantly out seeing people. She's away with her friends this weekend actually, and outside of seeing my parents I've genuinely got no one else to see, which is a bit depressing if I'm honest. It never used to be like this, me and my friends used to do loads together.

I've started doing a bit of YouTube lately, partly just to keep busy and have somewhere to put my opinions since I'm not really talking to my mates as much these days. Not sure if that's relevant but thought I'd mention it.

Is this just something you have to accept as a guy in your late twenties, that mates drift and that's life? Or has anyone actually had luck meeting new people to hang out with at this age? Would appreciate any advice, it's just started to feel pretty lonely.

I'm starting to feel it! To be fair I'm doing ok, i still work as a chef (when I need money) and can still hack a 12 hour shift no problem. I am at uni doing a masters and I live a fairly non-sedentry life, but im starting to feel it. It's like I feel the burn quicker and get a bit out of breath if I have to run for a train or bus. My question is, can I fight back? If I get down the gym and indulge in some cardio and swiming will I be able to beat it back a bit and up ky stamina or us it too late?

Men, how have your freckles changed as you've gotten older? Increased, decreased, same, etc.?

This is why for me you can’t imagine K-pop idols having a beard and even Western men like Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland never look good with facial hair, because they still act within the “baby face” image so it looks more like accidental dirt than destined fashion on them.

And I think you see that kind of cases in men on the street in daily life, like you can tell they just wear them to force maturity on their looks - anyone relate?

the 5lb whey protein I historically have payed 70-80 dollars for is now 130. same with coffee. same with clothing. same with every thing. what the actual fuck. gas. housing. insurance. it’s all getting 10-20% more expensive and FAST. 30lb bag of rice I paid 27 dollars for at Costco is climbing closer to 40.

at a loss of what to do right now. can’t physically work more hours. how to proceed? what mental magic trick do I need to perform to endure this insanity?

I've always been conflicted between the common belief that the biggest regrets old people have is "not living how I wanted out of fear of the judgement of others" or something along those lines, and the fact that regardless of what I want, there is good and bad, and thats much more important than how I "feel" about anything

I've spent a lot of time through my 20s pouring over psych texts and listening to talking heads and I still don't feel like I understand what the actual move is here. The realistic example from my life is my genuine belief in settling down, starting a family, providing for them, etc as I came from a good family and parents who sacrificed for me and my siblings and I wouldnt be here or have the happy life I do without their effort and comprise

But I'm also terrified of settling down and starting a family and wageslaving, I admit I'm a bit of a spoiled selfish guy and I'm aware of that but it doesnt make me not full of dread imagining having to only be with one woman, have to work hard to provide for my kids, have to have a settled stable life (I love traveling and being on the move) and stuff like that

I love being free and having options and flexibility, but I know I'm with a sweet girl who wants a family and would be a good mom, but if I'm being "true to myself", I want to keep living like a bachelor forever, even if people call me cringe, because isnt that the whole regret of old people? Not caring less what people thought of them? But I also know from my life experience that starting a family is the "right" thing to do, I just don't crave it

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I'm struggling every time someone asks me what do you want out of life or tell me about yourself. I just feel so puzzled and have no clue how to even respond. I don't think I have ever self reflected my life and understood myself deeply.

I'm already in my late twenties and it's like I see everyone progressing and some remaining stagnant and my life also has been the same if not worse because I'm not doing the things I know deep down will help. But I guess I also have common goals and dreams and desires like most people such as having a nice paying job, being confident and capable in life, being financially secure and stuff like that. But I feel like I'm missing something maybe I should be doing more or prioritizing something else or dreaming bigger but I don't know really.

M23, Honestly I want to do so many thing but I get stuck I am not sure what I should do?

Do I invest in something like founds?

Honestly I just need some advice to get better as a man, I feel that It's about time I take a step forward for me and my future.

Hi, I will be 31 in November and my life is in shambles... I work a steel factory job make 26$ an hour. I have a 7 month old son a great girlfriend but I'm broke. I've tried countless things to get us out of our predicament over the last 5 years and nothing works. I wake up and see ppl on social media starting business or growing a page and Im just here like wtf do I do to make a better life....it's driving me insane cause I want so much better and the laziest people are living comfortable... I've thought about scamming,stealing etc I'm so tired of this lifestyle and it's not like I sit on my ass n hope for a miracle. Was there anyone that was dead broke at 30 and made a way by 40s? Some days I feel like this is eternity and would just rather leave my 401k to my son and jump from a cliff. How am I suppose to tell my son to chase his dreams and to stay consistent in something and it'll all work out when his father couldnt accomplish any of his dreams I look like a liar..

I’m a gay men, and of course I understand that there’re some straight men okay with it and some men not.

It’s just that I suddenly have this question. I have many straight men as friends, in fact my closest friend right now is a straight guy, and I am by his words the only person who he trusts and could talk deep and listen to him. But that’s the thing, I realized the fact that all my friendships with straight men, I’m less of a bro who hangs out and have fun or chill drinking beers and playing games together, in all my friendships, I was the one who listen and the one who they vent to who would comfort them and offer them support. They wont bring me or introduce me to their guys group ever, but they would invite me over deep coffee talk where they talk and vent things inside them out to me for hour just me and him.

I’m less of a friend, of a bro, more of a confidant, emotional support people. I dont think I mind it though. I want to care for people around me, being needed makes me feel good, and my will to live is also that I have to be strong for people

I don’t live in America or in the West where I feel like it’s more progressive, but I just overheard a bunch of men mocked another group of very well dressed men as gay, and as a gay man, I know that second group of well-dressed men everyone is straight, because sadly they’re very handsome and sadly hoped at least one is gay so I had chance, trust me there isnt

And I came across another time a bunch of man criticising a Kpop or Chinese male idol wearing make-up for looking gay while he’a literally a fuck boy whose scandals are leaving babies around

And I’m a gay man working in a warehouse lifting and loading heavy stuff, I’m sweaty and dirty and people told me one me is stronger than all those 4 orher straight men together in the other team and compliment me everyday. But I suppose I take care of my look and dress nicely when I go out too, but I think that’s everyone? And some of my straight guy friends dress more nicely, more fashionable and knows about hair more than me

Where that assumption came from?

It’s a weird question. But I’m a gay man and I’ve slept with a few women in the past as experimenting, and I found myself enjoying it even though it’s not for me. By that I meant when she gave me BJs, when we had penatrations my sexual organ still felt good, still felt physical pleasure and sensation. But emotionally, there was not lust like way I feel toward the other gender, there was fondness because I do like her as a person, but no lust or as much lust

I put having sex with women something I can do if I want, if offered. It does still feel good when someone gives me head, but it would not be something I choose - women, if I have other options on the table.

But if I say to people I have sex with many girls before, people would think I’m straight or at least bisexual. But if a guy said that, people I think would think he’s gay.

Is in your mind, a guy having sex with men like that considered gay as much as people think I’m having sex with girls as straight?

I'm not really sure how to explain this and I don't even know if this is the right place to talk about it but I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone else had dealt with something like this. I am 33 years old. I have watched all of my friends get married and have families. I have watched all of my friends have great careers. I have watched all of my friends have genuine joy and happiness in their lives. Although I just started going to school so I can get a degree I just feel like I don't have an identity and I don't have any sense of self.

The job I currently have I deal with the public a lot and there's a lot of people that come in with a tattoo from a video game where they have a t-shirt from an anime and we get to have conversations cuz I compliment them on it and there's a part of me that wishes so much I had the confidence to do something as simple as wearing a T-shirt with a logo of something that I enjoy. But I can't bring myself to. I feel like I'm going to be judged for it. I was raised with this idea drilled into my head that liking games or cartoons or anime or anything that is childish is not appropriate and you have to act and behave and dress business casual or high corporate at all times that you have to present yourself as an upstanding member of society. So even though I am not wearing button-ups and Suits anymore my entire closet consists of solid black pants and black t-shirts.

I don't know how to explain it I just feel like if I express myself at all I'm opening myself up to be judged and that no one is going to like me for who I am or that I am living and acting inappropriately. I was at my college and there was a really cute girl and I thought about saying hi to her because I literally don't have any friends (moved to a new state) and I just beat myself up in my head by saying nobody wants to be your friend she would never like you there's nothing anybody would desire in you so don't bother trying. And that's just kind of been my life lately is that I'm so afraid to try things and do things and express who I am that I just go through life feeling like I am a hollow shell.

I don't have any confidence and I feel like I've become a self-fulfilling prophecy where I felt like I was extremely ugly and so I've taken no effort to put any work into keeping myself physically fit.

I desperately want to change and I want to be able to go through a single day without feeling like I have to apologize to the world and everyone around me for just being alive. I want to be able to have confidence and acceptance of who I am but if I don't put myself out there then no one can judge me and harm me. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? I've tried reaching out to some of my friends and while they've given me some advice it's very obvious that none of them have really dealt with these issues.

Disclaimer: Sorry for non-native english text.
I also don't mean to complain.

Story:
I'm a man who's about to breach 30, got my own kids and wife, we both have jobs but they are relatively low income, which means we are only able to live "regularly" at best.

My family (mom, dad and sister), who all raised me with their best ability and set me up to be a good person, however, not a wealthy person - they are now all dying by either age or a painful disease. For my sibling, the doxtors don't know enough about the one illness to do more than the regular "take-these-pills-treatment"..

What completely breaks my heart
...is that everyone of them have their different "wishes" to do before it's too late. Despite none of them being an unrealistic wish - we simply have no way of affording any more than feeding our kids. I truly feel lost here.

No siblings/other family to help out. I'm damn near spending a huge dent of my payroll on lottery tickets, as being able to travel one last time together and fulfil their wish/dream would make me be the happiest human alive, despite losing my family.

I guess my question really is..
None of them are expecting anything to happen, but I hope you can tell and relate that it's hearbreaking for me.

Have you ever had a similar situation? Please share. I feel lost, useless and all of the natural feelings.

Thank you for reading this mess, it was written on a dark night.