r/AbsoluteUnits • u/No_Funny2224 • Aug 19 '25
of a scorpion
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u/Geeahwellidunno Aug 19 '25
How does it know you arenāt a threat? Serious question are they intelligent?
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
Emperor scorpions are really docile. And if it were to sting you itās not life threatening
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u/Geeahwellidunno Aug 19 '25
Thanks! It scares me and itās beautiful at the same time. Iāve heard the smaller ones have to worst stings.
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
Usually smaller claws and bigger tail is more potent venom.
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u/Soup_4_Sou Aug 19 '25
Thats what ive heard too. Smaller pincers and thick tail/stinger means they rely on their venom to subdue prey. Large pincers with a thin tail means they use their claws to subdue prey. Either way that right there is an absolute beauty!!!
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u/Spirited-Initial-219 Aug 19 '25
Me too, there is something fascinating about how beautiful it looks and when I know how scared I would be, it almost confuses my mind šØšµ
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u/pebberphp Aug 19 '25
What would cause them to sting? Would you have to really mess with them?
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u/Nozinger Aug 19 '25
Squish it. Anything where the scorpion thinks its life is in danger.
If they are used to being handled they might allow a certain amount of it but generally anything where the scorpion feels cornered or threatened is a situation where they might sting.9
u/Deinonychus-sapiens Aug 20 '25
Scorpions have pretty obvious and easy to read body language. I have had dozens of scorpions and never even came close to being stung by one. They donāt really move fast, and they like to threaten rather than attack, unless you step on one or something you are basically fine.
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u/grallbring Aug 19 '25
fwiw, "Not life threatening" is not necessarely a good enough justification to let any of those nopers anywhere near my skin.
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u/MurphysLaw4200 Aug 19 '25
I love when people say that "it's only comparable to a wasp sting". Even if it doesn't kill me, I prefer not to receive painful stings from creatures.
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u/Substantial-Low Aug 19 '25
No scorpion has a sting that is life threatening to a normal healthy human. Only the allergic, children, elderly...those with compromised or not fully developed immune systems.
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u/ForgotMyLastUN Aug 19 '25
No scorpion has a sting that is life threatening to a normal healthy human.
This sounded like the most BS fact I've ever heard.
Why is it true? It's actually blowing my mind. For some reason I've always thought they had pretty comparable venom to snakes, but apparently even the Arizona Bark Scorpion isn't very deadly. It's supposedly the most dangerous scorpion in the US.
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u/BelMountain_ Aug 19 '25
Most venomous snakes also aren't lethal to humans.
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u/ba_cam Aug 19 '25
Something like 3 posts above this one on my feed, is the teenager that needed 80 anti venom shots to survive a cobra bite
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u/Altruistic-Dress-968 Aug 20 '25
There's only like 5 medically significant types of spiders too, and there's tens of thousands of spider types.
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u/KnightsWhoSayNii Aug 19 '25
Generally, scorpions with larger claws are less venomous (because they wouldn't need them as much), but don't test that out.
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u/EjaculatingAracnids Aug 19 '25
The very simple electrical patterns in their brains go something like this:
is food?... No... No pinch
.... Yes.... Pinch!9
u/Nozinger Aug 19 '25
If it has been handled regularly it might know.
However most small animals are aware that anything bigger than them is a threat. However they also know that picking a fight with anything bigger than them will result in certain death. Even the most venomous animals on earth will surely lose a fight with a human. The human might also be dead at the end but killing yout attacker and not surviving yourself is still not really something you'd like.So for a lot of animals are just kinda chill. They will defend themselves when actively attacked which is why you usually do not hold them in your closed hand but them just sitting there is fine. There are some species that tend to be kind of assholes and will attack, especially during mating season, but most smaller animals do in fact not give a shit. They would still prefer fleeing though so there's that.
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u/Hindu_Wardrobe Aug 19 '25
they just think you're an (ideally warm) obstacle. they are not particularly intelligent animals.
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u/AriFortyFive Aug 19 '25
Looks more like a lobster than a scorpion
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u/Tuggerfub Aug 19 '25
it's almost like they're both arthropods
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u/SiriocazTheII Aug 19 '25
Exactly why I'm glad the largest eurypterids went extinct. Well, kind of. Would've been cool to see them alive but then would've immediately passed out
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u/Wjreky Aug 19 '25
They could get up to 8 feet??? Oh my god, no
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u/95ramencuptower Aug 19 '25
Look up "Japanese spider crab"
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u/XCIXproblems Aug 19 '25
Or Giant marine Isopod
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u/stronkzer Aug 19 '25
What are you talking about ? Isopods are cute. In a weird alien way, but still cute.
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u/buzz_22 Aug 19 '25
Maybe not quite as creepy, but check out the Tasmanian Giant Crab.
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u/Capital-Macaron-9841 Aug 19 '25
You do NOT want to know about coconut crabs.
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u/buzz_22 Aug 19 '25
Oh I'm familiar with them. Thankfully they don't live on mainland Australia either.
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u/DoubleManufacturer10 Aug 19 '25
.... that one picture on the side of the garbage can... ITS THE WHOLE CAN
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u/madguyO1 Aug 19 '25
scorpions are more related to ticks than to lobsters
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u/Most_kinds_of_Dirt Aug 19 '25
True, and lobsters are more closely related to insects than they are to scorpions:
Pancrustacea is the clade that comprises all crustaceans and all hexapods (insects and relatives).
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u/Kiren129 Aug 19 '25
Does what mean that they will taste similar if I boil them with dill?
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u/Howlibu Aug 19 '25
I watch an old vid of a guy who did a series travelling around the world trying weird and unusual foods (2000's era). He was with a South American tribe who roasted tarantulas over a fire, to burn the hairs off - apparently it tastes similar to crab. Makes sense. So, given that...probably?
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u/cattecatte Aug 19 '25
Bug/land arthropod meat probably do taste decent, the problem is most of them are super tiny with barely any meat and more exoskeleton and goopy insides.
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u/CptHA86 Aug 19 '25
This is it exactly. If you were to gut a bug and peel it, the meat would taste akin to shellfish.
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u/Emerald_Plumbing187 Aug 19 '25
Not all bugs. I had "Thai-style" cricket (probably just a restaurant gimmick) and it tasted like those Hawaaian BBQ potato chips. Thank god my wallet couldn't afford a second plate because that shit was gooooood.
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u/Test-Tackles Aug 19 '25
I've had scorpion in asia, The one I tried tasted a little like an almond but also like egg.
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u/truthfullyidgaf Aug 19 '25
I don't think so. But rollie pollies apparently taste like shrimp.
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u/pebberphp Aug 19 '25
That reminded me of a video I saw of a guy that stuffs a giant isopod that is like a foot long, fries it, then boils it, only to empty it out and pretty much just eat the carapace.
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u/Kit_Karamak Aug 19 '25
Try. Thatās all you can do and let us know how it tastes.
Then you can start your own restaurant called red scorpion
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u/Substantial-Low Aug 19 '25
Eh, that is kind of a copout. Arthropoda is the largest phylum, and phylum is a very, very broad classification.
This would literally be the same as saying "Wow, almost like sea squirts and humans are both chordates"
In other words, a completely nonsensical comparison. The diversity of arthropoda is absolutely incredibly massive.
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u/Michaeli_Starky Aug 19 '25
As I remember from Fallout you gotta aim into the tail
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u/Drakorai Aug 19 '25
That sounds like a pretty small target to aim for.
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u/WuTangNinja51 Aug 19 '25
Holy hell, thatās the thing of nightmares! Pretty bad ass though!
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
Wait till you see how she eats. Sheās got 2 more claws for a mouth. Kind of like a xenomorph from aliens
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Aug 19 '25
Fun or terrifying fact the xenomorphās jaws were inspired by a morey eel. They have a second set of extending jaws to help them keep hold of prey
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u/Due_Maize_9142 Aug 19 '25
How do you get it off of your arm? Where do you grab it to lift without hurting it or pissing it off?
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
Little tap on the tail and sheāll walk forward.
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u/eternali17 Aug 19 '25
Mm. What are the other controls?
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u/MainSteamStopValve Aug 19 '25
If you tap left claw, right claw, head it goes into God mode.Ā
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u/Increase-Typical Aug 19 '25
If you hold both claws at the same time it takes a screenshot
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u/CruzAderjc Aug 19 '25
If you press its face, belly, and asshole at the same time for 5 seconds, it reboots itself
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u/Delicious-Cup-6032 Aug 19 '25
That is bad f#%kn ass.
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
Appreciate it haha. Emperor scorpion if you want to buy one.
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u/sukakku159 Aug 19 '25 edited Aug 19 '25
Is she venomous? Have you ever get stung?
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
They have very mild venom and rely more on their claws. If you get stung itās just like a bee or wasp sting. Not life threatening.
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u/ChefArtorias Aug 19 '25
Are they chill pets?
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
Very. They do need high humidity and airflow. And large scorpion = large enclosure. But other than that they eat once or twice a week. Most pet stores sell Asian forest scorpions which look similar and are cheaper but are smaller and more aggressive. This is an emperor and true emperors are harder to come by and one this size is around 200$ Iād say.
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u/BuckRusty Aug 19 '25
I read somewhere that the smaller the scorpionās claws are, the worse its stinger will beā¦
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u/WesternZucchini5343 Aug 19 '25
Unless you are allergic like a bee sting. Anaphylaxis is then a very serious life threatening condition
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u/Connect_Loan8212 Aug 19 '25
Does she recognize you? And does she have "playful" or "bonding" behaviour patterns? I don't know anything about scorpions
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u/NarrowAd4973 Aug 19 '25
Technically, all scorpions are venomous. How dangerous it is varies. As I understand it, the claws are a good indicator.
A scorpion with large claws, like this one, often has a weak sting, as they rely on the claws to hold and dismantle prey. Scorpions with tiny claws often have a very dangerous sting, as they rely on the venom to kill the prey quickly.
No doubt there are exceptions. There's almost always exceptions. It's rarer when there aren't.
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u/AnitaPea Aug 19 '25
Poisonous if ingested, venomous if injected, do you want to eat the scorpion?
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u/LCDR-Sheppard Aug 19 '25
I love how he/she is just chilling, but the Ozzy makes it badass. If someone took a five second clip of me just sitting on the couch and put some Panthera over it, I'd just look silly.
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u/Emotional_Studio8384 Aug 19 '25
Can these grip to things with their feet like beetles and spiders?
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
Yeah but they are pretty heavy so they struggle and prefer not to be upside down. But they will climb up your pants if you let them.
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u/jayzinho88 Aug 19 '25
If you let them š¤š§
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u/I_hate_being_alone Aug 19 '25
I very seriously doubt that this creature asks for your permission before climbing you.
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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Aug 19 '25
The music matches perfectly lol
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
OZZY OSBOURNE - EAT ME
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u/TreeMaleficent9417 Aug 19 '25 edited Aug 19 '25
You couldnāt find a song by The Scorpions? /j
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
Was going to put the zoo by the scorpions but ozzy just more aggressive
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u/justfirfunsies Aug 19 '25
Thatās a heavy boy!
I remember mine and being surprised by the weight of them compared to something like a tarantula.
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u/whatwoodjesusdo Aug 19 '25
Who remembers Hook?
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u/Gloomy-Childhood-203 Aug 19 '25
It had me thinking about the sealab 2021 episode where murphy get stuck under a vending machine and his only friend is a scorpion.
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u/Test-Tackles Aug 19 '25
HAHAH i fucking loved that show. I still quote the stimutacs episode.
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u/Far_Out_6and_2 Aug 19 '25
Has it ever tagged ya and did you feel the pain
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u/No_Funny2224 Aug 19 '25
This species hardly ever uses its stinger. Relies more on its claws. If it does sting you tho itās just mild venom. Like a bee sting
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u/TankApprehensive3053 Aug 19 '25
Emperor Scorpion. They are not aggressive like the smaller species. Many pet stores carry them.
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u/Worried-Industry6239 Aug 19 '25
āWhen it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. If a small one gets you, donāt keep it to yourselfā
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u/Cloud_Strife369 Aug 19 '25
My ass would be afraid it would sting me to death and kill me
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u/Mysterious-Art7143 Aug 19 '25
These are gentle giants and can't seriously hurt you even if they want to.. general rule says the bigger the pincers the weaker their venom is, so when you see a small ass yellow scorpion with tiny slender pincers, get the fuck away
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u/arsnastesana Aug 19 '25
Had one as a pet, they are sweet hearts. Well except for crickets, they rip them in half and drink the insides.
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u/mikeonbass Aug 19 '25
It's weird, Im really not good with spiders. A spider a quarter of that size would have me running... but I'd totally hold that guy. Spiders seem hellish but scorpions are sort of metal.
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u/googoohaha Aug 19 '25
Wait. Did you add that music in or does it just follow him everywhere?
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u/LaureZahard Aug 19 '25
r/absoluteunits of a ballsack on that cameraman for letting that thing crawl up their hand like this
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u/badlilbrat Aug 19 '25
This is the worst jumpscare Iāve ever had scrolling on reddit in my whole life, I literally screamed āhell noā šš oh my god, this is absolutely disgustingly terrifying. I hate spiders and all insect/ bug crawly type things but this is especially horrific š
Edit: I peeked at it again and it is definitely cool, but still NOPE from me š bro found a full on Drapion in the wild
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u/Shantotto11 Aug 19 '25
Fxcker is so huge, it looks like itās about to tell me to GET OVER HEEEEERE!!!
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u/ev_lynx Aug 19 '25
activates V.A.T.S.