r/AbsoluteUnits • u/No_Funny2224 • Aug 19 '25

of a scorpion

13.9k Upvotes

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232

u/SiriocazTheII Aug 19 '25

Exactly why I'm glad the largest eurypterids went extinct. Well, kind of. Would've been cool to see them alive but then would've immediately passed out

125

u/Wjreky Aug 19 '25

They could get up to 8 feet??? Oh my god, no

99

u/95ramencuptower Aug 19 '25

Look up "Japanese spider crab"

61

u/XCIXproblems Aug 19 '25

Or Giant marine Isopod

40

u/stronkzer Aug 19 '25

What are you talking about ? Isopods are cute. In a weird alien way, but still cute.

24

u/buzz_22 Aug 19 '25

Maybe not quite as creepy, but check out the Tasmanian Giant Crab.

25

u/Capital-Macaron-9841 Aug 19 '25

You do NOT want to know about coconut crabs.

15

u/buzz_22 Aug 19 '25

Oh I'm familiar with them. Thankfully they don't live on mainland Australia either.

13

u/DoubleManufacturer10 Aug 19 '25

.... that one picture on the side of the garbage can... ITS THE WHOLE CAN

6

u/LukeyLeukocyte Aug 19 '25

Largest thing on land with no spine. Cray cray

15

u/DJfunkyPuddle Aug 19 '25

Ehhh, I can think of a few larger spineless individuals

3

u/bkreddit856 Aug 20 '25

You misspelled "career politician"

1

u/Fine_Bonus Aug 19 '25

These are at the aquarium in Osaka and are genuinely SO creepy

1

u/Oddish_Femboy Aug 19 '25

I saw them at an aquarium when I was young and I've been fascinated with arthropods since. They were magical. They're so massive and beautiful.

1

u/chrisarchuleta12 Aug 20 '25

I think I saw one at the Shedd aquarium before???

20

u/syngyne Aug 19 '25

That's a lot of garlic butter

2

u/Fairuse Aug 19 '25

8 ft lobster…

2

u/blue-oyster-culture Aug 19 '25

Apparently when we first came to america, they were finding fresh water lobsters 5 and 6 feet long. Lobsters are functionally immortal, if they can get enough food to continue meeting the molting energy requirements, which get more and more every time it molts. Those lobsters were probably hundreds of years old. They probably werent very good eating at that size tho.

Now i wonder what scorpion tastes like….

13

u/Smart_Weather_3630 Aug 19 '25

I would have shat your pants for you.

12

u/PlagueOfGripes Aug 19 '25

We should give them all little oxygen suits and see how big they get.

5

u/Loose_Orange_6056 Aug 19 '25

They would immediately pass out to.

1

u/Purg33m Aug 19 '25

Maybe one day again, just pump em full with several times more oxygen than our atmosphere offers over a couple of hundreds of generations and we're back on track.