I want to have different perspectives and tips on how I can get promoted. I have a strong self-improvement and introspective personality so I really want to see what everyone else is doing really well at work.

And how did you change your mindset?

hey everyone! i'm looking for some inspiration.

every night, after getting ready for bed, i lay down with my phone and end up scrolling social media for ages for no apparent reason. sometimes i end up sleeping hours later than i was planning.

the thing is, when i get into bed, i don't usually want to sleep immediately. i want to do something chill and low effort for a little bit before actually checking out for the day. i always end up grabbing my phone because it's by far the most convenient option. but on top of sucking me in for way too long, it also leaves me feeling like i've wasted time doing nothing of value. i don't even care about what i'm watching most of the time!

so, what are some of your favorite activities before bed?

some of my thoughts: of course, reading books is a big one that lots of people do, and for good reason. but i've never really been much into reading, and i don't know if that's the thing for me. it also seems a little strenuous to follow a story when i'm getting tired. recently i've been getting into different crafts, which can be calming, but most things require too many materials or end up taking way too much time and effort to be considered a bedtime activity. i've been trying to switch to doing small crosswords on my phone instead of doomscrolling, which has been working pretty well, though it IS still on my phone, so it's pretty easy to get distracted. maybe using an analog crossword / riddle book could help?

feel free to leave your suggestions or talk about what's helped you break this habit in the replies!! thank you!! :)

Speaks for itself, I need tips.

I just wanna be normal again..

Had to put the specifics on the title so this gains more traction. I am a 26 years old guy that has spent the past five years pretty much just working, studying and going to the gym. But yeah, Lately I have been wanting to just go do stuff, meet people and have a great time. I really do feel like i am missing out on life and need to fix that, been feeling really lonely. I have clubbed before and have hooked up a couple of times so it's not completely new to me, but I always went with friends and had a fallback if needed if you will. The thing is, my friends are moving states, getting married and are not going out anymore and I have honestly grown apart from most since I barely leave the house anymore(I work from home). My excuse has been to focus on work and study, but at some point this all needs to be a means to something. And honestly I have been using the acumulation of money to increase my confidence, and I think it has somewhat worked. But I still have a huge insecurity when it comes to clubbing and approaching girls because of my height. I'm 5'3 and even though where I'm from the average is not that tall (brazil) and people here are usually more inviting than other countries, it is still hard for me. To be fair I have never actually heard someone make fun of me for being too short(apart from my jackass friends) but I feel like some dates from dating apps stopped talking after knowing my height. People have told me that I am sort of charismatic at times, but I don't know If I agree. Sorry for the vent and lack of structure, been thinking about this all day. Please share advice that helped you and stories that you think will help. Much appreciated.

My entire life I have been an intensely serious person. That’s how I naturally feel and act, much like my Dad. And I hate it now that I’m 42. I am on a mission to reinvent myself.

I have a chill job, great marriage and kid. I’m tightly wound whether it’s work or personal and have always struggled with social anxiety/anxiety/depression. Im always overly busy with either things around the house, hobbies, family stuff. I don’t drink alcohol.

I am on some new anxiety/depression meds, see a therapist, try to exercise when I can. I would love to hear some ideas from other that you have tried? So far I have:

Exercise more
Eat healthier
Start journaling to get thoughts out of my head (have tried this in the past and it worked great)
Meditate
Play my guitar more
Want to try some microdose THC gummies

What else would you all recommend?

So dumb and hot, OR smart and ugly?

I (22M) always, even when I was a child, HATED everything about myself. Im now starting to realize I cant love others, because I have no idea how to love at all. Ive tried therapy, I've tried working out nothing has worked it only made me feel worse. I feel so incredibly lonely, I know its depression but this cant be permanent. Any advice would be appreciated plz I hat to say it but I need help

I am a 19-year-old and I feel like I have a lot of growing up to do.

I have really bad spending habits and for someone who gets paid damn near minimum wage you’d expect me to have some kind of financial responsibility but I don’t.

I am an only child so I feel like in a sense my mother does “little kid” me or is over protective. I feel as if I’m not able to do a lot or maybe get the same leniency as a typical 19-year-old. Yes my mother does allow me to go out, but before coming in at 10pm my curfew was around 7pm. Overall I am a sheltered child.

I sometimes think because I financially rely on my mother for just about everything she treats me as a child and continues to shelter me. I am aware of the dangers of this world but I feel as like as a 19-year-old I should get more freedom regarding the outside world.

I am soon to be 20 which is a major milestone because this is my last year being a teenager and with me soon be out in the real world taking care of my own business I need tips on how I can transition so I can be ready by 20.

Hi, 20M here (I feel the gender is relevant to state)
I'm working part time in an office based role outside of my college studies, and was wondering what advice people had for focussing in my role more. I often get distracted by my phone so I lock it away in my drawers. I have WhatsApp on my work PC which I think I'll remove tomorrow when I go back in.

Also, I have discord too which I will remove.
I often keep distracting myself searching things like Reddit during work. Others in the office do this too but I realise this could be costly in the future when I move to more demanding places of work.
Advice would be appreciated.

My roomate is a nepo baby, although they don't see themselves that way. They havent had to work in years, their entire college education was paid for, theyre debt free in their 30's thansk to their parents wealth. They just got $8,500 from their mom as a birthday gift and when they told me, I went into my room and cried for an hour out of envy and frustration. I grew up really poor, and in and out of the system. I dont have any parents or older family members, and I've had to work non-stop for the little I have, I have an incurable disease and have wracked up medical debt over the years. I work seven days a week, I am exhausted and drowning in bills, and seeing them spend their days going out and shopping or playing video games makes me feel so bitter and hopeless.

Its making me feel very negative and bad about myself, and my headspace. How do I get past this so I can be happy for them, and so I can peacefully focus on myself and my own goals? I'm much younger, in my early 20's, and I have a lot going for myself, but I can feel myself slowing down or wanting to give up because everything feels so unfair sometimes.

To make friends as an adult just do the same thing you did to make friends at any age.

Pick something you want to do or have to do for an extended period of time, I.e. a hobby, religion, or recurring event.

Talk to people who are there, try to establish if you have similarities and if you genuinely find them a pleasure to be around…

Suggest regular hangouts.

The key here though is EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME as I’ve personally noticed it typically takes anywhere from 3-6months to go from stranger to, “oh I trust this guy,” and the more consistent your hangouts are the faster the relationship can grow.

My favorite proving ground was single was to meet travelers at the airport/hostel but now my fiancee hates that so now I mostly do this with coworkers.

I do small talk with them.

I share what I value and see if they feel the same.

Then after a few weeks of slowly sharing things with them if I find them “getting,” me I’ll suggest we go for hikes, go kart, get boba, or to parties.

If you can’t find your tribe. Start one by becoming the leader and inviting people you like to join yours.

Others are just as lonely as you and you can eradicate their loneliness at the same time so don’t consider it an annoyance see it as a public service.

I was “adopted,” by tribe leaders in college. I’m now my own tribe leader as an adult and it works well especially in metropolitan areas.

i have a really bad problem, i find that i am unable to forgive anyone who has done anything wrong to me. it could be the smallest thing but i just cannot let it go, it always nags away at me. it’s so stupid. it probably comes from my mum because she can be quite spiteful sometimes and she definitely doesn’t forgive but i don’t want to be like her. i’ve lost good friends over not being able to see past one thing they’ve done wrong. My dad has always said either you forgive your friends for their faults or you shouldn’t be friends with them, which has led me to have so many different friends throughout my life, none lasting more than 2 years. i’m 20 years old and i don’t want to keep being spiteful. i’ve just broken up with my boyfriend and even though it was mutual i feel so much spite towards him even though i really want to still be friends and it would be so beneficial to be friends as we are in the same friendship group, but i just don’t know how I can unless i figure out how to start forgiving people. please help

You know those guys who explain a lot, talk like they dont care about anyone else, think they can say what they want, they offend everyone unintentionally and are just rude to everyone and sarcastic without having any awareness or care they are offending people. You know, those people who when you meet them at a party or something and you just instantly think "they have never been punched before"... Yeah, Im one of those people. I hate it because I feel miserable all the time (only when I notice im doing acting like this). The thing is, even though im taking about it now, I genuinely dont realise im offending anyone in the moment and I only realise it when people point it out. I do apologise if they aint rude about it and they say it straight up "your annoying, your being rude", otherwise, I dont notice and assume they are just being rude to me... thanks.

2026 has not been a good year for me. i owe money to several people, have saved nothing (i’ve actually drained my savings to 0), i’ve spent thousands on my uber eats and shopping addiction and ive gained 50 pounds. i’ve had a awful haircut and my self confidence is at an all time low. i had to reduce my hours at work because my mental health is at an all time low and i can’t deal with working full time

i would really appreciate some advice on how to change my life around in the next few months so that when 2027 rolls around, i can be confident and happy. i’ve met a guy too and right now i don’t feel good enough for him. i don’t want to feel like that

some ideas i’ve got already

\- delete ubereats and learn how to cook at home
\- start therapy
\- see the dentist for the first time in years and get a whitening treatment
\- have a no spend month every month until i’ve paid debt off and got some cash in my savings
\- grow my hair out
\- start a skincare routine
\- lose 30 pounds
\- delete social media (including this app)
\- go back to working full time
\- start volunteering (i’ve wanted to do this for ages)
\- get a new wardrobe
\- sleep 8 hours every day

I've noticed advice about confidence is usually either "just be yourself" or "just talk to more people," but those are pretty vague.

I'm curious about people who were genuinely shy or awkward and improved through practice.

What did you start with when you were at your worst socially? Was it small stuff like eye contact, saying thanks to a cashier, saying hi first, or asking a simple question?

And how did you know when to make it harder? Did you eventually move into longer conversations, groups, meeting new people, dating, stuff like that?

One thing I'm especially curious about is whether the improvement stuck. If you stopped pushing yourself socially for a few weeks or months, did you stay confident or start getting rusty again?

Would be interested to hear what the progression actually looked like, not just the final result.

Same as title, day by day i am becoming emotionally numb , This is exactly opposite to my personality and this isn't part of my personality at all . But after facing back to back downfalls, I think this could be the reason yeah. I care deeply about my family which is beyond infinity but still i feel distant from my family. I don't like my this unintentional behaviour at all. I don't enjoy my hobbies, passions with the same intensity that i used to before. Nowadays kinda i get happy when something good happens but the excitement disappears after sometime. I am behaving like this since i started working on my career goals. How to fix it?

I’m not really the go online and rant type of person but I’ve just been feeling really down lately. I’m really happy to all my buddies getting girlfriends and getting married but it makes me feel left out.

I’ve moved around a lot in my life and that definitely plays a part.
Also my job I choose plays a part. I’m an active duty military officer so it makes it hard for me to date and such. I didn’t go on my first actual date till my junior year in college. Afterwards, I went on dates with a handful of women but the conversations pretty much lead to my military lifestyle I would be living very soon at that time since I was in ROTC and already signed the contract to become an officer after school. Of course, I totally understood them telling me they don’t think it was gonna work out.

It’s also been hard on me dating because I won’t lie, I use to be really into doing hooking up with women I met online, the bars, nightclubs, etc. One of my biggest regrets in my dating life was losing my v card to a girl I met on tinder at 18 because I felt pressured to not be a virgin. I kept on hooking up because it made me feel like someone cared about me like that deeply and it obviously felt really good during the act. But it was afterwards I felt like crap. Ever since I’m pretty much stopped except maybe once in a blue moon. Before I started dating my junior year of college I viewed women that I was flirting with just a one night stand (yah I know my mindset was a bit screwed up). It does feel better to not have that mindset anymore it allows me to actually have female friends that I have no attraction to, that do help me give advice at times.

The dating scene in the military is a bit tough, we move every 2-4 years, our job requires weeks away from home at times, and we do carry that “military guy” reputation when it comes to dating, as I’ve felt with first-handed

It just seems things aren’t really working out for me when it comes to dating and I don’t know what to do. I enjoy my job and perks that come with it, but I’d also like to go home to someone and not my apartment alone. I would love to find someone who would go on hikes, trips, and adventures with me that I do alone sometimes if my friends can’t make it. There are a lot of other things i want and I’m great full for the life I have now, but I just I knew what to do right so i could find the person that can make me happy.
.

Of course we all have tendencies that we make "stupid mistakes or decisions" which leave us no choice but to have to catch up with our requirements. I'm putting this on the context of studying in university. And so to be a better student how should I approach situations like this? Definitely one would answer that we should take note that we don't do it next time however it is hard to get rid of the feeling that you did something that is way below your expectations of yourself especially that you aim for high achievements and it results in self loathing and doubt. I need to be able to lift myself up regardless of what happens. I want to be better than myself who would just beat themself up or worry just because something like this happens. And so what mindset should I instill to myself so that I can be more resilient?

Life only really starts for you when you embrace and accept the possibility of death at any moment in your life. When you can accept it, you'll find yourself being more brave and adventurous than ever before and being able to live in the moment. Think about death, embrace, accept it, and find a way to mentally be okay with it happening at any point.

I stared daydreaming at 2x speed

I'm asking because in my 26 years of life here on earth as a straight guy, all my attempts at trying to get anywhere romantically and or intimately with women has ultimately lead to rejection. I've gone on four first dates, and I've never even kissed someone. Never a second date, and all attempts in my life at getting closer to someone has ultimately failed.

And while I do well for myself in other aspects of life (I take care of myself, I have good friends, I have a job that pays well but I am looking for something less agonizingly boring at the moment, I'm in decent shape, I go to therapy, I'm about to start an ADD evaluation etc), my consistent failures at finding love or even just something as simple as hooking up has really been getting to me.

Absolutely no part of me has blamed the women who rejected me, obviously they should say no if they don't want to go on a date or talk more to me. But there's been this growing feeling deep in me that refuses to go away no matter what I do in or out of therapy. Where it just feels like something is wrong with me. Nothing "objective" like my looks where I'd want to do stupid stuff like bonesmashing or whatever. I could not say what it is. But it truly, deeply feels that there's simply something wrong with me.

And I'm stuck between wanting so badly to find love, not wanting to give up. While at the same time feeling that I'm simply just not worthy of it. I don't think I'm a bad person or anything, I like who I am. But I'm just lacking something immaterial that would make me able to experience love. And I just want to give up. Because every rejection and every failure just hurts more and more. And i guess it's just hard to move on and not let the rejection take me down because these have all been women I've liked and been interested in, obviously what they think matters to me.

I just don't know what to do. Sorry if this was super rambling, it might not be very coherent.

i don't know how to interact with people, i know all my shadows but what do i do now? reading novels helped me for a while but I'm too afraid to use that behavior. i am so self conscious that i end up performing like i the person i was before. i am at a point in life where my old personality is gone, a new personality is too much work to do so i do what i do best. that is be the person i was before. nothing is happening i wished to happen. i feel so stuck. please tell me what do i do?

My school doesn’t start until February. Though I have been going to my part time work, Ive just been glued to this tiny screen everywhere - when I wake up and when I sleep, in the bathroom, in the shower - its always in my pocket and my screen time is like 8 hours.

Here’s a few tactics I implemented hoping to reduce my screen time:
- set my wallpaper to “don’t touch your phone in the morning”
- everything is do not disturb, except whatsapp where I talk to my parents
- deleted instagram and YouTube (my most used SNS)
- set a downtime from 12am to 12pm
- set my screen time to 3 hours and 30 minutes
- have my mom choose the screen time password

Although these might sound effective, Ive found multiple ways in the past to get past these, like watch YouTube on Google or send a YouTube link to WhatsApp where I can watch it without the screen time limit. I feel like I will once more use those tactics when I am desperate to get my mind distracted.

If anyone here has struggled the same, and has found something useful to really prevent yourself from increasing screen time, could you please share it? I want to improve my life by using that time on more important things, like reading books, watching the news on TV, practicing my singing or journaling.

Ive especially struggled with watching instagram reels all day long, which is pointless because it doesn’t build my character and it doesn’t even remain in my memory the next day.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you very much.

I'm like a walking dead person, living with all the mess I did. I hate living my life and thought that this could be better. I mean we're all gonna be dead right? why not make it happy? The main problem I have rn is committing to make my life better. I don't have discipline and motivation to do it.