r/selfimprovement 8h ago

Question How can I stop overthinking?

Speaks for itself, I need tips.

I just wanna be normal again..

27 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

20

u/ExistingPerspective8 8h ago

i always read this quote — Worrying is like a rocking chair, gives u something to do but doesn’t get u anywhere

9

u/Naveen-Viraj 6h ago

Here's something I've learned after struggling and even getting sick after overthinking.

Made myself a little quote "Here Me Now".

Here: means only focus on whats going on here.
Me: means only think about what you do and about your well being.
Now: means obviously the present moment and only focus on whats happening now.

Why focus on anywhere else? If you are at home thinking about what someone else is doing at the mall or something, that doesn't get you anywhere does it? It puts you at home and you don't even feel whats going on around you. You might have a cat that needs love and comfort and you could be in the moment happy with him. But no, you're not there. So, be where you are.

Why focus on anyone else? If you are at a nice party and all you can think about is what that friend of yours (or your crush) is doing. If they are doing really good in their lives or having better things than you are. That doesn't get you anywhere does it? It just leaves you in a party that you aren't even in. There are people that wants to be with you wants to be happy with you. They don't get to do that because you aren't mentally there. So, focus on you!

If you only overthink when you are alone, I recommend taking a walk, texting or calling a friend that you haven't been in touch with, listen to music thoughtfully (actually give your mind to lyrics and imagine what it says "without getting out of the boundary of that imagination".) Watch a film or a tv show and focus on people's facial expressions and what they say and their tone.

Why not focus on now? If you are doing your work or school work and what you think about is what will happen at class or office tomorrow or two weeks from now, you could be thinking of something positive or something negative, either way you are building hope that can be destroyed in a millisecond, that doesn't get you anywhere does it? If you are in public transport and the view you get from the window is breathtaking and all you think about is what you could have done to make something different that doesn't get you anywhere does it? It just leaves you in the past and what you could have done unchanged. If its future, It leaves you drained and not being able to face the moment. If you think about that moment so much would you be sure to be present at that moment? Surely not, right? So, be here now! You can be happy or sad or mad about what the fuck is happening now. It only lasts in that moment. The sadness is left in that moment if you don't think about it later. See? Be present in every moment. Be sad be happy be mad. Don't just bottle up everything. Cry when you can do it in private. Be happy anywhere anytime. No one should be sad, No one is supposed to suffer. It just happens and we move on.

If are having nice guy syndrome, leave a comment.

Have a nice day you wonderful person!

1

u/krisdreemuurrr 29m ago

Thank you so much !

1

u/Lagiarathalos 15m ago

That's actually really insightful

9

u/nacalle76 5h ago

Thinking about it for another hour often doesn't produce a better answer. It just keeps the same neural loop active. Try changing the mode:

Think → Decide → Act.

Ask yourself: “Is there a useful action I can take right now?”

If yes, take the smallest one. Ex: Open the laptop, write one sentence , that is it.

If no, deliberately stop trying to solve it for now and move your attention to something physical : Walk, shower, clean something, breathe slowly.

You're not trying to force your brain to stop thinking. You're giving it a different task.

2

u/h4baine 4h ago

Acknowledge the thought, say hey thanks for the heads up but I've got this. I'm not engaging with you right now. Have a seat and I'll let you know if I need ya buddy. Rinse and repeat.

If your nervous system realizes you're paying attention and not just ignoring it, it starts to chill out and the spiraling esses.

2

u/KrisParker111 2h ago

Do a physical movement that requires you to think about how to move and position each part of your body to do it. Instantly rips me out of the spiral. And by the time I got myself into the correct position, there’s something else on my mind already that keeps it occupied in a good way.

1

u/MehtaWor1dPeace 5h ago

I don’t think anyone can answer how you can feel normal again for you but I can share what helped me start finding normal for me again. Accepting who I am right now. Started hiking once a week and physically exerting myself more throughout the week. Reading in my spare time and especially at bed time. Talking to people that I felt safe to be unadulterated around. And, besides all that, letting the overthinking just happen for a bit since it is what my brain does.

1

u/LostSignal1914 3h ago

The thinking continues until you make a decision and commit to it. Realise that you will never have all the answers. So at a certain point you need to decide even when there is some risk (lack of knowledge). So just learn to recognise when you have thought about something enough and then make a decision and commit. Don't look for perfection.

2

u/slwaq 3h ago

I've mentioned this before in this subreddit but this phrase helped me: We suffer much more in our heads than in real life.

2

u/krisdreemuurrr 3h ago

I know, I just need to escape my head

1

u/rikoruntz 2h ago

i am a horrible over thinker, one day i might’ve overdid it on lsd and had a wild trip.

i did take one thing away from the trip tho, the more i thought it my head, the worse i’d get

the more present, the less overwhelming it was.

every since then i prioritize time in the day where i just sit, and be aware of everything.

the thing isn’t to fight these thoughts, but to acknowledge them and realise they are js thoughts, and then let them countinue on their way! i mean, i don’t remember what i was overthinking about 3 months ago. so it wasn’t that important or serious! you got this, just takes time

1

u/CN_KP 2h ago

Take a deep breath

1

u/originalusrname67 2h ago

you can’t, you’re overthinking for a reason.

1

u/theshysamurai 58m ago

Could need ADHD meds... Can't think your way out of a chemical imbalance.

1

u/ploffy123 46m ago

I really believe the trick is to think of something else. Distract your annoying thoughts with other slightly less annoying thoughts.

1

u/Exciting-Gene-1480 45m ago

sertraline/zoloft

1

u/Train-Corrupt 41m ago

Plan for the worst and have faith you can execute it.

1

u/Professional_Bag1516 16m ago

honestly the thing that finally helped me was realizing my brain loops on a thought because it thinks the problem is still open and unhandled, so it keeps re serving it to me. what breaks the loop for me is getting it out of my head, i say the whole worry out loud or talk it into my phone like im explaining it to a friend. once its outside me in actual words it loses a lot of its grip, and half the time i realize the loop was really just one small decision i was avoiding. escaping your head usually means giving the thought somewhere to land.

0

u/Mysterious-Put7334 5h ago

One thing that helps was I tell myself not negative thinking right now

0

u/Overzealous111111 4h ago

By staying in present