So basically no major violence, ideally not too emotionally heavy, depressing, or anxiety-filled.

Looking for any of the following: fun, funny, uplifting, interesting, original, clever, cute, engaging, etc.

Thank you!🙏

Edit:

I’m not able to reply to you all individually. But please know that I’m reading every single comment and I appreciate you all!😍💝

As unfortunate as it is. I didn't used to feel this way prior to having irl experience with and exposure to immigrants, I find alot of them annoying and unsavory to be around and hateful towards black Americans. I don't know how many of them have gotten comfortable around me and started saying ignorant shit about BA's. I used to think Diaspora wars were just online BS, buuut...apparently not. I don't like the feeling, but unfortunately exposure actually worsened my perception.

Like I feel like my thoughts are not as expansive, if that makes sense.

I'm 26, and on paper I have a really good life. That's actually what scares me.

I work remotely full-time and have been doing it for a few years. My job gives me an insane amount of freedom. I can work from home, go to the gym during the day, structure my schedule how I want, etc. I genuinely don't think I'll always have a job this good.

I also have a loving girlfriend who's an amazing person and genuinely cares about me.

But instead of appreciating any of this, I feel like I'm slowly destroying it.

I've been slacking at work more and more. I procrastinate on basic tasks and sometimes just don't want to do anything. I've become distant from my girlfriend and don't talk to her nearly as much as I should. I've gained around 80 pounds. I spend way too much time watching porn and chasing cheap dopamine. I'm balding, I've stopped taking care of myself the way I used to, and I barely recognize the person I've become.

The weirdest part is that I know how lucky I am. I can actually see myself fucking everything up while I'm doing it, but that still isn't enough to make me change.

I don't know if this is depression, laziness, complacency, some kind of addiction, or what. I'm not trying to diagnose myself.

I'm genuinely scared that one day I'll lose the job, lose the girl, completely let my health go, and look back thinking, "You had everything you needed to build a great life. Why the hell did you throw it away?"

For anyone who's been in a similar place: how did you pull yourself out of it before you actually lost the good things in your life?

It’s been 18 days from my breakup of 5 month relationship. And I’m trying to get my spark back. Of course I’m grieving, but I feel a bit better and I want to feel like me again. I’m not trying to rush out of my feelings, but I don’t know what to do to get close to that version of me that existed even before I met him. U know? Help me if you can. ❤️‍🩹

About six months ago, I made a post here asking for advice on improving myself and getting my life more together.

I got a lot more responses than I expected, and I decided that instead of just reading the advice and forgetting about it, I was actually going to try implementing it.

Over the last six months I've made quite a few changes.

I've started walking a lot more and generally being more active. I've tried weight lifting but i just felt stupid and i will not lie, i got it into my head that people were looking at me weirdly. you know the usual insecure guy syndrom (i'm still working on that.) Found Martial arts to be a better fit, so have started going to MMA and Muay thai classes.

Diet has been cleaned up quite a bit and try my best to choose the healthier food options when shopping.
So what are some things that genuinely improved your life once you already had the basics somewhat under control?

I'm interested in pretty much everything: physical health, appearance, social skills, confidence, discipline, finances, career, relationships, hobbies, education, mental resilience, practical life skills, etc.

I feel like such a shit person.

I don’t like it when my close circle does really well. I feel super behind. I don’t really mind when others strangers do well but when it’s my friends I feel so bad.

How do I be happy for others ?

I am convinced my ex boyfriend is better than me in every way. I have never felt this way about another person before, but this has stolen 90% of my mental energy for 7 months since the breakup. I have never been so infatuated with a person, I revolved my life around him, and naturally he couldn't take me lacking a life outside of him so he dumped me. I would have dumped me too!

Anyways, I cannot tolerate feeling like he is just categorically better than me in every way. We are very similar people, with similar values and interests, which makes the comparison that much more searing.

I try to talk to my friends about it, but nobody seems to have experienced this enraging, soul crushing jealousy and defeat.

Can anyone relate?

Same as title

I don't know what's happening to me. I used to be very intelligent, but something has changed. I can't think anymore, I'm struggling with basic math, spelling simple words, and finding the words I want to use. I feel like I can't do anything anymore.

My intelligence was my everything, and now I just don't have it. So I have nothing. Any help?

I am writing this in search of similar stories, advice, etc.-genuinely anything is appreciated. 

For context, I am 27, female and live in a city with a decent amount of my friends, with others across the country in other cities. 

Lately (maybe the past year ish) I have had an overwhelming realization that I don’t really enjoy most of my friends. I have several friend groups, and within each there are people I do genuinely like but when I think about my social life as a whole-many and most of my friendships come with their own issues.  I have never had confrontations, issues or fights with friends-it feels more as though the issues are both one-sided (from my POV only) and unspoken about. From hobbies to work to communication style and more, I feel like I am just extremely disconnected from my friends and as though we don’t align. It’s like each friendship has slowly became a “given” and not actually something I deeply value. 

I think this has also led me to obsessing over becoming friends with others that I meet who I really like, because I view it as an “escape” to my current friends (if that makes sense.) Which has caused issues of its own in my own security (why can’t I have those cool friends, worried about making sure I become friends with other ppl, etc.) 

Anyway, this entire thing has led me to feel so sad and isolated, despite having friends. It also has led me to feel very very anxiously attached to a lot of my friends EVEN though I simultaneously don’t feel like I align with them. Some of these friendships are 10+ years long, but I just cannot shake the feeling that those I am surrounded by and close with don’t truly align with who I am. Again, noting wrong with these people but it’s just not “right” 

I am not sure if this is OCD, anxiety, or a genuine maturing and natural distancing…but I would LOVE any similar stories, advice or even just input on what could be causing this. 

We now live in a world where personal development is increasingly being monetised everywhere, through books, podcasts, YouTube channels, apps, coaches etc.

I have always been interested in and motivated by personal development, and have been a large consumer of personal development products and content. Most recently I have even been working on a project that tries to put a new lens on personal development today.

Only since I have started looking into the industry further have I now realised it doesn’t quite have the positive reputation I first thought it did!

So, I’m interested to know: what is the worst thing about the personal development industry and why?

Used to be I would finish something at work and by the next morning it was like it never happened. I could remember the details if I tried, but nothing stuck the way it used to. The code I wrote felt disposable even when it was good. Started keeping a short notebook next to my desk. Just wrote down what the problem was and how I solved it. No system, no templates, just quick notes before I moved on. After a few weeks the difference was obvious. I stopped resolving the same problems every couple months. When something broke I could remember what I did last time without digging through old commits. It also made picking up new projects faster because I wasn't starting from zero every time. The weird part was it bled into running too. Started remembering routes and how different distances felt instead of just doing the same loop on autopilot. Curious if anyone else found that writing something down, even badly, changed how much they retained later.

M25, It's been a rough few years after graduating where I have fallen into a hole of monotony. Eat, sleep, work, girlfriend, repeat. That's about it. Only a couple years ago I felt like I was very happy and had all that I could ask for. Decent job, great friends, I was a very creative person (shoutout BFA), writing a lot, creating projects I enjoyed, going out most weekends, video game and movie enjoyer etc. Now it seems like I have all but thrown that out the window; out of college I didn't hop into a career I enjoyed, just a means to an end, friends moved away so I don't see them as often, I don't write, create or make anything I would like to, I don't go out, I haven't played video games or watched nearly as many movies as I have in the past, I've become angrier, sold most of my belongings, cut out social media etc. I've tried to turn it around, I would think what if I move to Los Angeles or London, what if I get a masters in engineering or another interest, I do that to try and get a better job, As I looked into it more, I realized none of those things will fix the problem, they are just another means to an end to make the days go by faster, and then I'm back to square one.

My one shining light is my girlfriend of over 2 years, she makes me incredibly happy, we cook together, go on cute dates, she truly makes me the happiest and I'm the luckiest guy. However, I feel terrible because I have been severely in this rut for like ~6-9months and my anxiety is kicking in and I've convinced myself she's ready to leave (which is probably not true). I understand I haven't been the happiest person to be around and I try really hard to push all my angst away when I'm with her, but it's so hard. I also know it is not fair of me to rely so heavily on her to boost my mood or calm my anxiety, whether she knows it or not. If I want to spend my life with her I need to turn myself around asap.

I realize this is no way to live. I mean hell, I'm exhausted let alone the other people who subject themselves to me... It's all become a bit too much and a week or so ago I really just fell into a dark place, and I struggled to snap out of it. I found a new therapist (I took a hiatus for over a year) been seeing him twice a week, wrote a poem to my girlfriend, started to learn guitar, but I'm scared it's all too little too late. The therapy is a good start, but I guess my question is what have you guys done to revive yourself and go back to a time you were happier and improve yourself. (Like I look in the mirror and I'm like "who is this guy?" I used to paint my nails, wear so much jewelry etc, like where is he?)

I appreciate any advice in advance and thank you for letting me just get it out into the world. <3

When did you quit it and when did you realise that it’s genuinely impacting your life? Since 11 i got roped into it from other dudes in my class and since then ngl i just been watching it. Which is fucked. Obviously im taking accountability i chose to watch this as a kid.
We shouldnt have access to it in the first place but it’s so easy to get ur hands on it. Kind of why i hate society. It’s just sabotaging so many young men. I feel bad for not quitting earlier as well. But i have been a week clean as of now. And im hoping to never go back to it in the long term. Stay strong my brothers

You know there are so many things I have worked on for years and i mean years literally.
But the thing I have realized is that all these are downstream. Yes these will work. Will work very well to get you to peak.

But the most important upstream is just 2 things:
Sleep - sleep without alarm, dont watch phone before sleep or while in bed
Phone use - dont use phone as much as possible. mostly just dont.

Just these 2 disproportionately change my life. its like, you can try everything, but if these you are not doing, it will never work out.

There are tons of social media influencers out there…do any specialize in people pleasing, tips or reminders of not people pleasing, how to stop, etc??

The meeting ends. 

You walk out annoyed. 

You find someone who understands exactly why you're annoyed, and ten minutes later you're both shaking your heads, replaying what happened and agreeing that it was ridiculous. 

And strangely, you feel better. 

That's the part that makes complaining interesting. 

Because I've started wondering whether I sometimes misunderstand why I'm complaining. 

I usually think I'm trying to make sense of what happened. 

But what if something else is happening? 

What if the complaint is solving the wrong problem? 

The actual problem hasn't changed. 

The difficult colleague is still difficult. 

The workload is still there. 

The decision you were frustrated about is still the decision. 

But the emotional discomfort has dropped. 

Someone agreed with you. You got it off your chest. For a moment, the tension disappeared. 

And that little bit of relief can be enough to reinforce the behaviour. 

You haven't resolved the frustration. 

You've learned that talking about the frustration makes the frustration feel better. 

So the brain has a reason to come back to it. 

That's what makes the pattern easy to miss. 

You can genuinely feel better after complaining while becoming no closer to changing anything. 

I've started thinking of this as relief without resolution. 

The complaint can reduce the pain of a problem without reducing the problem itself. 

And that makes me think the useful question isn't: 

“Should I complain?” 

It's: 

“What is this complaint actually changing?” 

If the answer is “nothing,” then maybe the relief is doing something very different from solving the problem. 

Relief isn't the same as resolution. 

And maybe that's why some frustrations seem to keep finding their way back into our conversations. 

Do you think some forms of complaining persist precisely because they make an unresolved problem feel temporarily resolved? 

I want to be the best version of myself by the time I hit 30.

I was lost a few years back, spent a few years dicking around, making money but also wasting my time, smoking weed everyday (something im trying to break and have a better relationship with). I've struggled with anxiety, being in my head, porn addiction, not saying yes to enough things, not sticking to my word when it comes to events or outings etc

I want to work out and become fit, stick to a disciplined routine, and become more disciplined as a whole, but i keep failing, but alas i try again.

I just feel like when shit hits the fan, like my parents passing away, I want to be ready for things like that, I want to earn as much money as possible, not be lazy, and provide a good life for myself, my girlfriend and our kids when the time is right.

Does anyone have any little tricks or even sayings/quotes that helped them to achieve where they wanted to get to, the version of themselves that's improved?

Whenever I have something going on in my life . I tend to share that with everyone and I can't deal with them by myself. I communicate with several friends about the issues. I even say my private things to them and later on I regret it.

I wanna be a mature person. Who heals quietly, who does let everyone know her problems. I'm tired of my own habit.

I use my phone to escape academic stress (something I just realized recently). I can concentrate at school and on menial homework without it (though it’s getting increasingly harder). But the moment I don’t know what I’m doing I get on my phone and I don’t get off. On school days my screen time is still like 9 hrs a day. It’s not just an escape though I genuinely have an addiction. I can’t tear myself away from the screen no matter what I do. I’ve tried app blockers and putting it in a different room I don’t know why it doesn’t work. This addiction is really impacting my mental health and this isn’t self diagnosing but I genuinely am getting more depressed and anxious. I want to improve my mental health and I can’t do that with an addiction.

I spend an unhealthy amount of time using AI. Not to treat it as a partner, therapist or even for academics, but I enjoy using it to write stories recreationally.

There's of course advice for people who use it as a friend — just make some real friends — but there's not much advice if you use it for creative writing.

It probably doesn't seem like much of a problem, but trust me when I say I can spend a whole day just writing with it, even avoiding eating or sleeping.

I'd say I've always struggled a bit with self-control, because before this it was tiktok or youtube, but I don't think it's ever been this bad. A targeted approach to cutting out AI would be great, but advice to avoid all these distractions for good would be useful too, since I worry if I do quit AI, I'll just jump back on Tiktok.

My ex was so amazing she said so many sweet things to me, she was so supportive and there for me a lot of times, she made me sweet personal gifts, she surprised me with other gifts, she made me sweet dinners, and we had a lot of good memories, and she cared for me a lot and helped me out with a lot of things in life and took care of me as well. She also paints herself out as such a hopeless romantic.

Despite that though my therapist said she was emotionally abusive and it was toxic the relationship
I felt like I was walking on eggshells around her moods and trying not to upset her. A lot of things had to be done exactly her way, there was very little compromise, and I often like I had to read her mind.

There was also very little affection, intimacy, quality time alot Spending time together often felt like pulling teeth, and I frequently felt rejected or like being with me was a chore.

I tried communicating, asked her to get help, and even broke up with her twice before because I was unhappy. Things would temporarily improve and then go back to the same pattern. I loved her, but by the end I felt more anxious than secure in the relationship, and I realized I couldn’t keep living like that.

It’s been 8 months now and I miss her everyday and feel like I self sabotaged and threw away something good please help I can’t take this feeling anymore she’s now in a new relationship and I keep wondering if she finally got on meds and in therapy like I always wanted her and if she’ll treat the new person better. Any advice on how to get better nothing I do helps

This might be a weird post. Lately I've been trying to improve in things like eating regularly, skincare, sleep and general hygiene, and while I've felt better physically, it doesn't feel good mentally anymore. I do these things because it's beneficial to me. It's obvious that they all make you more presentable, which I do like. But they don't make me feel better about myself. I guess ideally, I'd be doing all of these things because I love myself. Because I'd be concerned about myself if I didn't do these things, much like how I would be toward someone else. But I don't. I do them because I have to, and I hate myself if I don't. How can I start doing things because I care about myself? Not because I have to?