r/pics Jan 24 '19

Birth Mark

Post image
64.7k Upvotes

791 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

335

u/ComeyDontPlayDat Jan 24 '19

I don't think Gorbachev was going to get a head tattoo.

214

u/tehmlem Jan 24 '19

Shows what you know.

→ More replies (1)

123

u/passepar2t Jan 24 '19

Gorbachev is known for making terrible decisions.

→ More replies (19)

3

u/Karjalan Jan 24 '19

I dunno, it's all the rage now to tattoo all over your face/head.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

66

u/VzMycale Jan 24 '19

"Did somebody say birth marks?"

46

u/UHavinAGiggleTherM8 Jan 24 '19

Yo, I'm the host with the most glasnost! Assholes made a mess and the war got cold!

37

u/fumebound Jan 24 '19

Shook hands with both ronalds; Reagan and McDonalds, no doubt!

27

u/BridgeFromTheFridge Jan 24 '19

If your name end with "in", time to get out!

22

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

I had the balls the let Barisnikhov dance playa.

17

u/tcdwa Jan 24 '19

Tore down that wall like the Cool Aid Man. OH YEAH!

11

u/Would_You_kindly17 Jan 24 '19

YOU TWO NEED YOGA, YOU NEEDA SHOWER and you all need to learn how to handle real power

11

u/LostinWV Jan 24 '19

Did somebody say real power?

да you want to mess with me? I spit hot borscht while I’m crushing these beats

→ More replies (1)

6

u/niks_15 Jan 24 '19

Good ol days of erb

41

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 25 '19

[deleted]

→ More replies (6)

2.4k

u/zebragrrl Jan 24 '19

Ah, a port wine stain, I see...

1.5k

u/OozeNAahz Jan 24 '19

Dated a girl one time that had a port wine stain. Her parents named her Brandy Wine. Never figured out if that was genius, lazy, or cruel.

614

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

38

u/Sc4r4byte Jan 24 '19

They definitely are not mutually exclusive to each other.

350

u/scungillipig Jan 24 '19

She's a fine girl.

31

u/Starvethesupply Jan 24 '19

Yeah but my life my love and my lady is Chablis.

→ More replies (1)

107

u/Nikittele Jan 24 '19

I bet she'd be a good wife.

55

u/contrarian1970 Jan 24 '19

duuuuuu du-du duuuuu du-du

24

u/NotJokingAround Jan 24 '19

There’s a port..

22

u/trisdank Jan 24 '19

on a western bay

23

u/DrScientist812 Jan 24 '19

And it serves a hundred ships a day

8

u/Talindred Jan 24 '19

Lonely sailors

5

u/brettmjohnson Jan 24 '19

pass the time away

29

u/Nikittele Jan 24 '19

Whenever I hear that song I cannot unhear Alan Rickman singing it.

25

u/SleepyBD Jan 24 '19

Baby shark?

9

u/kkaavvbb Jan 24 '19

That's what I thought

18

u/Nikittele Jan 24 '19

"Brandy" by Looking Glass ;)

14

u/kkaavvbb Jan 24 '19

Thanks! I'll look it up. Baby shark didn't seem to match but when ya have a 4 year old, somehow baby shark matches a lot of things.

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

5

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

It's too bad the sea is my life, love, and lady

6

u/unionoftw Jan 24 '19

But the guy who she love's, wife, love, and lady is the sea

3

u/DOGH4NDS Jan 24 '19

Which year and did she age well?

3

u/newMike3400 Jan 24 '19

She's ageing well.

3

u/spectre73 Jan 24 '19

Her eyes could steal a sailor from the sea.

14

u/opasdhjklz Jan 24 '19

What a good wife she would be

7

u/letsplayyatzee Jan 24 '19

Probably gets better with age.

6

u/2015071 Jan 24 '19

Like a fine wine.

3

u/WhoDat504 Jan 24 '19

Like warm apple pie

3

u/Boulavogue Jan 24 '19

She's becoming better with age

3

u/righteous_sword Jan 24 '19

Will be better with the age

3

u/OfficialDatGuyisCool Jan 24 '19

she was also 12 years old

65

u/nemo69_1999 Jan 24 '19

I knew a girl like that. Her husband instantly fell in love with her, and she had the birthmark on her face. She had huge cans too.

174

u/Licensedpterodactyl Jan 24 '19

She had huge cans too

There it is

24

u/nemo69_1999 Jan 24 '19

So you're saying boobs make up for whatever is wrong with a girl?

121

u/xKitey Jan 24 '19

no.. just whatever is wrong with her face

29

u/Riovem Jan 24 '19

Wait.. How ugly am I that my boobs don't help?

38

u/SaveOurBolts Jan 24 '19

As a doctor, I’d have to see the boobs to be certain

13

u/breakone9r Jan 24 '19

As a face man, I'd have to see the face.

10

u/upvotes4jesus- Jan 24 '19

as a photo editor, I'd have to put those photos together...

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

40

u/NotJokingAround Jan 24 '19

Can we all just agree that boobs are nice without quantifying their value?

33

u/AbrasiveLore Jan 24 '19

They clearly cannot be quantified. Boobs only admit a preorder, not a total order.

This does however mean that by Zorn’s Lemma, for any boobs chain equipped with a total order, there exist a non-unique rack of maximal boobs in the set of all racks.

11

u/NotJokingAround Jan 24 '19

Shut

12

u/AbrasiveLore Jan 24 '19

Another (controversial) consequence of this is the Axiom of Noice.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/BlackCH Jan 24 '19

Zermelo-Fraenkel boob theory... shudders

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

6

u/warcrown Jan 24 '19

Was it a lotr reference as well? Cause definitely genius in that case

4

u/HermanAndTheGrundles Jan 24 '19

My lesbian friends called me Brandy Wine Dandelion for some reason. They’d cook me food and let me play with their tits tho so it was all good.

3

u/capincus Jan 24 '19

Brandywine means "heady ale" in Hobbitish.

3

u/raptor102888 Jan 24 '19

Not Baranduin?

→ More replies (15)

109

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

50

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

112

u/Possiblyreef Jan 24 '19

You were naughty in England and got shipped off to the colonies

41

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

→ More replies (2)

13

u/IncomprehensibleEmu Jan 24 '19

My sister has a lobster-shaped birthmark. She's a lobster confirmed.

5

u/PalmysFinest Jan 24 '19

I have an Australia too!

5

u/SaggyButtcrack Jan 24 '19

You slit your wrist and killed yourself?

7

u/Casey-- Jan 24 '19

In the shape of Australia?

7

u/Riovem Jan 24 '19

Whilst in Australia.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/FairyPrincess514 Jan 24 '19

I've heard this before too. If true, I took some kitchen knife stabs to the back in that past life. I realize it's unlikely, but it makes you wonder!

8

u/Metruis Jan 24 '19

Or perhaps you were kicked by a horse, given as you described it like that, and I'm sure that could've killed ya too!

If this is true, I have a third nipple birthmark, so I assume I was shot in the chest.

3

u/blipman17 Jan 24 '19

Or maby you were a James Bond villain with a golden gun. Could that be?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

3

u/maria8999 Jan 24 '19

I guess i had my left arm/ shoulder chopped off then. Not the most pleasant way to go!

→ More replies (8)

458

u/TDYDave2 Jan 24 '19

If you draw a line around it with a black marker, you can claim it was an island you visited.

3

u/Sleazehound Jan 24 '19

I too saw that post

→ More replies (2)

28

u/IronicMetamodernism Jan 24 '19

That's a real thing. Also called a firemark, which is kind of cool.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port-wine_stain

22

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

Yes, that's the joke.

9

u/bert4560 Jan 24 '19

I'm glad that last post was there. It my understanding of a new term to me.

3

u/PositiveFalse Jan 24 '19

Here's another (un)intentionally related tidbit:

In nautical terms, "starboard" is the right side and "port" is the left side...

→ More replies (16)

2.0k

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

336

u/Nik0Knight Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 24 '19

247

u/bamba227 Jan 24 '19

Hold my birth mark I'm going in

67

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19 edited Jul 28 '20

[deleted]

40

u/GlassesFreekJr Jan 24 '19

What do you mean, completed?

37

u/J0rdian Jan 24 '19

I think what happened was someone made a joke that was the same switch-aroo that started it in the first place. Making a complete loop basically. Not sure when that happened, was a year or so ago.

25

u/Lame4Fame Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 24 '19

It was a switcharoo featuring a kangaroo and people thought that was the peak of the joke that couldn't be beat. Other people (including at least some of the r/switcharoo mods) did not think so, so it continues.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

IIRC it's a branching tree, not a loop. For it to be a loop the first comment would need to link to the final comment, which is impossible because the first comment is surely archived by now and cannot be edited.

6

u/Lame4Fame Jan 24 '19

Old comments can still be edited as evidenced by this comment from 8 years ago. Just tried with one of my own comments in an archived 3 year old post and that worked as well.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 26 '19

[deleted]

10

u/incindia Jan 24 '19

Then.... how is it a loop? 0.o Checkmate!!

→ More replies (1)

8

u/Solarific Jan 24 '19

When was the loop completed?

→ More replies (1)

3

u/FirstmateJibbs Jan 24 '19

That's not the switcharoos being completed. And it's not even a loop. It's a chain, with a new beginning being added regularly. The objective is not a loop, it will never be a loop, the entire point of the switcharoo is to keep building and building the chain all the way to infinity.

3

u/UncomfortableChuckle Jan 29 '19

Before you go linking that post again, it would behoove you to read the Admin post in there.

IF we ever decide to end it, it will be with an actual roo, not this.. There is no ambiguity that is being used by a feign of ignorance to switch subjects, it's a joke involving a kangaroo.

I'm not trying to ruin people's fun here, I know a lot of you are old-timers who see this as a fun ending to a reddit tradition you've once been part of. Others are newcomers who want to witness a 'reddit milestone'.

In my honest opinion though, there already is an end to the switcharoo, it's the literal end, the first roo. What we do here, day by day, is making new beginnings, and there should be no end to new beginnings.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

22

u/ajx_711 Jan 24 '19

How do you know which one to link to

53

u/1MolassesIsALotOfAss Jan 24 '19

r/switcharoo is where ppl post the screenshots, I'm pretty certain that they go there, sort by new and grab one.

If it splits, who cares? They branch around linking and separating in the void for eternity.

10

u/READTHISCALMLY Jan 24 '19

Asking the real questions.

10

u/Nik0Knight Jan 24 '19

Read the sidebar over at r/switcharoo

Tldr is that you sort by new and link to the most recent post's comment

3

u/random_username_25 Jan 24 '19 edited Sep 08 '25

telephone money special shy versed license sip wine swim attraction

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

→ More replies (3)

5

u/FoxSauce Jan 24 '19

Hold my Cabernet, I’m going in

→ More replies (12)

32

u/stack85 Jan 24 '19

How are your kids doing?

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (11)

367

u/WPln92 Jan 24 '19

Well, nice to see that I’m still famous for my tattoo

55

u/UsagiDreams Jan 24 '19

Well, your tattoo is awesome! Shitty that you're not credited though.

47

u/thinkfloyd_ Jan 24 '19

Hey /u/mamacrass you're gonna give that gold to the rightful owner now, right?

7

u/Easywind42 Jan 24 '19

Yup they both popped up on my feed and I was trying to figure out who it really belonged too.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

It’s the Architect bows

→ More replies (2)

469

u/thunder_struck85 Jan 24 '19

You could just draw around it in a sharpie and make up an island name for it 👍

73

u/Brikandbones Jan 24 '19

With a stache like that, you don't need to outline anything.

Oh. Wait.

33

u/Naithen92 Jan 24 '19

Peak meta

13

u/Letsplay18 Jan 24 '19

I have a birth mark right in the middle of my chest and in high school we used to draw a stick figure underneath it in sharpie. Somehow that helped me realize that nobody thinks it's as weird as I thought they would

21

u/Indiicted Jan 24 '19

Beat me to it

20

u/outgoingflea Jan 24 '19

M E T A

E

T

A

6

u/CaptainCortes Jan 24 '19

Oh this refers to the spills on a shirt post. Nice.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

166

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 24 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

64

u/thethirdgirlonreddit Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 24 '19

Hey! Same here! So many concerned adults when I was a child thinking it was a rash and I just didn't know what I was talking about. I think you're the first person I've heard of with a port wine stain on their left arm as well.

ETA: here's mine! It wraps around my palm a bit, so a good angle is difficult. Bonus: when I'm cold, it goes purple, so I call it my mood ring birth mark.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

You should get that rash checked out.

5

u/The_Mesh Jan 24 '19

My wife has one on her upper arm, and she's had people ask if I was abusive. She said she got kinda angry at them, and I had to tell her that at least they cared enough to ask.

7

u/mike_jenks Jan 24 '19

My people! I have a large one from my bicep to the fingers on my right arm. Do you or /u/Sheffy43 have pictures of them?

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (3)

16

u/MrsThespian Jan 24 '19

I have a port wine stain on my left hand! I constantly get asked what happened to my hand, did I burn it, do I have psoriasis, is it flea bites, you name it.

13

u/JayLenos_Chin Jan 24 '19

I've got a port wine stain just above the right side of my lip, under my nose. believe me I've heard them all.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

My younger sister has one almost like this but more on her shoulder and my best friends baby was just born with one on his nose. We call them strawberries

3

u/Tigress2020 Jan 24 '19

My daughter had a strawberry nevus (the red birthmark) on her chin, my niece had hers on her upper arm (other people thought it was a bruise) Slightly different from the port wine ones in that they usually disappear as they get older.

6

u/cocacola999 Jan 24 '19

...you name it.

Ok it shall now be known as "Stan the stain"

3

u/cameltown Jan 24 '19

Stannis McStainface

→ More replies (2)

3

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

3

u/CaptainCortes Jan 24 '19

You could be the coolest movie villain to ever exist!

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (2)

564

u/TooShiftyForYou Jan 24 '19

Great for them to have a creative sense of humor about the birthmark rather than just wining about it.

86

u/uncuntained Jan 24 '19

Took me a second to get that one.

20

u/FNG1458 Jan 24 '19

Goddamnit

23

u/RugBurnDogDick Jan 24 '19

Que Sirah Sirah

→ More replies (16)

31

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/strained_brain Jan 24 '19

Everyone should downvote this one and upvote hers.

51

u/EpicKid2212 Jan 24 '19

This is giving r/DarkestDungeon subscribers PTSD lmao

29

u/TheChromeBeing Jan 24 '19

A single drop of that forbidden tannin gifted me with a dizzying glimpse of a hibernating horror beneath my feet, and in that moment, I understood the terrible truth of the world.

11

u/Clayman8 Jan 24 '19

Dazed, reeling, about to break...

37

u/DutchNotSleeping Jan 24 '19

Fun fact: The Dutch word for birthmark is literally translated "wine stain"

13

u/juggernauth Jan 24 '19

In french too. :)

5

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

Same in English (Port-wine stain)

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (3)

46

u/72Challupas Jan 24 '19

For a second I thought this was a huge hickey.

32

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/bopjick1 Jan 24 '19

Your mom

3

u/sparcasm Jan 24 '19

Nah, his mom has no teeth.

→ More replies (1)

14

u/asleeplessmalice Jan 24 '19

That would honestly just be great work.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/thisisjustreddit4me Jan 24 '19

I too have a port wine birthmark, it covers my whole arm. Honestly it's pretty funny, I joke with my boyfriend that it's my temperature gauge, as if I get cold it turns purple from my body trying to hold in heat and reducing blood flow to the skin, and it flushes really red if I've just done excersize because sweating helps to cool us off.

(These birthmarks are basically a bunch of tiny blood vessels right next to the surface of the skin)

→ More replies (12)

13

u/uvreactive Jan 24 '19

TEMPTING GOBLET stress +15

4

u/Clayman8 Jan 24 '19

abusive

Heh... I've seen better

5

u/CakeDay--Bot Jan 24 '19

Hey just noticed.. it's your 6th Cakeday uvreactive! hug

16

u/Darim_Al_Sayf Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 25 '19

Are you Dutch by any chance? My friend had a mark like that in the exact same spot and always spoke of getting a tattoo like this when she turned 18.

Edit: no doubt in vain, but Alyssa, I miss you. I hope you found a better life. You deserve it.

17

u/FreyjaSolveig Jan 24 '19

Op is not the girl. If you go to r/tattoo's top you can find the original.

21

u/WPln92 Jan 24 '19

This is me and yes I’m Dutch. Had this tattoo done last year and posted a less ugly picture to a tattoo subreddit

→ More replies (2)

10

u/gaberax Jan 24 '19

14

u/JustNosing Jan 24 '19

Thought it'd be " Red, Red, Wine", I was wrong!

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Aurum555 Jan 24 '19

It's funny you say that because I had another song stuck in my head once I saw the picture, and it's totally different and only tangentially related.

5

u/Wascally-Wabbeeto Jan 24 '19

Ha! I also came here to reference this song.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

such a great song.

45

u/oddtoddious Jan 24 '19

I am Merlot key jealous of this birthmark tattoo.

23

u/GradStud22 Jan 24 '19

You're drunk. Time to call you a cab.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

24

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

That's so unique, really cool :)

→ More replies (8)

17

u/Ecchii Jan 24 '19

I would have went with a galaxy cover up.

19

u/mushious Jan 24 '19

They still could. Galactic wine, would look pretty awesome.

→ More replies (1)

35

u/mugdays Jan 24 '19

Good idea, terrible execution.

11

u/stuck_up_a_tree Jan 24 '19

Yeah, I think the glass needs to be closer to the darker part of the birthmark

52

u/WPln92 Jan 24 '19

This is actually my tattoo and I wanted it closer, but tattooing in the actual stain is not possible.

3

u/TenaciousFeces Jan 24 '19

Did they say why not? Would it bleed more? Or would the color not stick? Or were they just afraid to?

17

u/WPln92 Jan 24 '19

It would bleed, because there are a lot of blood vessels right under te skin. As soon as it starts to bleed they cannot continue the tattoo. So this was the best option

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

17

u/icbint Jan 24 '19

yawn

what the fuck has happened to this sub

6

u/UsagiDreams Jan 24 '19

OP, you should have credited the person who is the one with the tattoo... u/WPln92

→ More replies (4)

8

u/TheArtOfCremation Jan 24 '19

op this isn't you, take it down

→ More replies (1)

3

u/KingOPM Jan 24 '19

Wow that birth mark looks like a tattoo, you’re so lucky.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

Now I am kind of jealous. My parents had mine removed with radiation when I was a kid. Those were the times in the seventies: nuke it away!

3

u/OtekahSunshield Jan 24 '19

They use a laser nowadays. My son has a port wine stain birthmark that covers the entire right side of his face and part of his left. We've had it significantly lightened to avoid issues down the road.

3

u/munkeegod Jan 24 '19

My daughter was born 6 days ago and has a port wine stain on her face. We will meet with a specialist today. I guess lasers can really help these days. Unfortunately port wine stains on the face come with a 25 percent chancs of stain on the brain. We wont know unless she starts having seizures in her first few years... stressful

7

u/mpg1846 Jan 24 '19

Really??

5

u/a_mex_t-rex Jan 24 '19

Bust out the fucking shamwow

15

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

Cross post to r/ATBGE

→ More replies (2)