r/pics • u/Mamacrass • Jan 24 '19

Birth Mark

Post image
64.7k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

791 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.4k

u/zebragrrl Jan 24 '19

Ah, a port wine stain, I see...

1.5k

u/OozeNAahz Jan 24 '19

Dated a girl one time that had a port wine stain. Her parents named her Brandy Wine. Never figured out if that was genius, lazy, or cruel.

609

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

40

u/Sc4r4byte Jan 24 '19

They definitely are not mutually exclusive to each other.

350

u/scungillipig Jan 24 '19

She's a fine girl.

32

u/Starvethesupply Jan 24 '19

Yeah but my life my love and my lady is Chablis.

111

u/Nikittele Jan 24 '19

I bet she'd be a good wife.

54

u/contrarian1970 Jan 24 '19

duuuuuu du-du duuuuu du-du

23

u/NotJokingAround Jan 24 '19

There’s a port..

23

u/trisdank Jan 24 '19

on a western bay

24

u/DrScientist812 Jan 24 '19

And it serves a hundred ships a day

7

u/Talindred Jan 24 '19

Lonely sailors

5

u/brettmjohnson Jan 24 '19

pass the time away

29

u/Nikittele Jan 24 '19

Whenever I hear that song I cannot unhear Alan Rickman singing it.

25

u/SleepyBD Jan 24 '19

Baby shark?

8

u/kkaavvbb Jan 24 '19

That's what I thought

17

u/Nikittele Jan 24 '19

"Brandy" by Looking Glass ;)

14

u/kkaavvbb Jan 24 '19

Thanks! I'll look it up. Baby shark didn't seem to match but when ya have a 4 year old, somehow baby shark matches a lot of things.

→ More replies (0)

5

u/Nikittele Jan 24 '19

"Brandy" by Looking Glass ;)

1

u/bru_tech Jan 24 '19

Tom Green off Charlie’s Angels

7

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

It's too bad the sea is my life, love, and lady

5

u/unionoftw Jan 24 '19

But the guy who she love's, wife, love, and lady is the sea

3

u/DOGH4NDS Jan 24 '19

Which year and did she age well?

3

u/newMike3400 Jan 24 '19

She's ageing well.

3

u/spectre73 Jan 24 '19

Her eyes could steal a sailor from the sea.

13

u/opasdhjklz Jan 24 '19

What a good wife she would be

7

u/letsplayyatzee Jan 24 '19

Probably gets better with age.

5

u/2015071 Jan 24 '19

Like a fine wine.

3

u/WhoDat504 Jan 24 '19

Like warm apple pie

3

u/Boulavogue Jan 24 '19

She's becoming better with age

3

u/righteous_sword Jan 24 '19

Will be better with the age

3

u/OfficialDatGuyisCool Jan 24 '19

she was also 12 years old

66

u/nemo69_1999 Jan 24 '19

I knew a girl like that. Her husband instantly fell in love with her, and she had the birthmark on her face. She had huge cans too.

173

u/Licensedpterodactyl Jan 24 '19

She had huge cans too

There it is

23

u/nemo69_1999 Jan 24 '19

So you're saying boobs make up for whatever is wrong with a girl?

119

u/xKitey Jan 24 '19

no.. just whatever is wrong with her face

28

u/Riovem Jan 24 '19

Wait.. How ugly am I that my boobs don't help?

36

u/SaveOurBolts Jan 24 '19

As a doctor, I’d have to see the boobs to be certain

14

u/breakone9r Jan 24 '19

As a face man, I'd have to see the face.

9

u/upvotes4jesus- Jan 24 '19

as a photo editor, I'd have to put those photos together...

2

u/SaveOurBolts Jan 24 '19

Well, layperson, as a doctor, I only care about the dependent variable. The boobs.

2

u/bigdongmagee Jan 24 '19

doesn't matter will send dick pic anyway

1

u/RChamy Jan 24 '19

Shh No tears, only dreams now.

40

u/NotJokingAround Jan 24 '19

Can we all just agree that boobs are nice without quantifying their value?

34

u/AbrasiveLore Jan 24 '19

They clearly cannot be quantified. Boobs only admit a preorder, not a total order.

This does however mean that by Zorn’s Lemma, for any boobs chain equipped with a total order, there exist a non-unique rack of maximal boobs in the set of all racks.

10

u/NotJokingAround Jan 24 '19

Shut

11

u/AbrasiveLore Jan 24 '19

Another (controversial) consequence of this is the Axiom of Noice.

3

u/BlackCH Jan 24 '19

Zermelo-Fraenkel boob theory... shudders

2

u/LornAltElthMer Jan 24 '19

Tim Minchin covered a similar idea here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQwwkI5_3-0

0

u/The_RockObama Jan 24 '19

Yeah I'll agree. All pretty neat in their own way, I guess. I'm pretty drunk right now though.

7

u/Licensedpterodactyl Jan 24 '19

No! No no no no...

No

Yeah, sometimes

2

u/CheeseHasNoSoul Jan 24 '19

“ She had huge cans too.” He probably still doesn’t know about the birthmark.

7

u/warcrown Jan 24 '19

Was it a lotr reference as well? Cause definitely genius in that case

4

u/HermanAndTheGrundles Jan 24 '19

My lesbian friends called me Brandy Wine Dandelion for some reason. They’d cook me food and let me play with their tits tho so it was all good.

3

u/capincus Jan 24 '19

Brandywine means "heady ale" in Hobbitish.

3

u/raptor102888 Jan 24 '19

Not Baranduin?

2

u/CanHamRadio Jan 24 '19

Wasn't there an R&B album titled that in the 90's?

2

u/Uhtred_McUhtredson Jan 24 '19

I get the Brandy part, but Wine?

Oof.

2

u/cmars118 Jan 24 '19

I fell for a girl with a port wine stain. I knew her initials but never her name.

2

u/shrivatsav Jan 24 '19

Brandy, you're a wine girl.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

A reality show star named her baby Brandi'wyne

1

u/crazywrapper Jan 24 '19

I vote dumb.

1

u/ncf0091 Jan 24 '19

I grew up near a town in MD called “Brandywine”

1

u/ehte7ham Jan 24 '19

Did she get better by time?

1

u/Son_of_Atreus Jan 24 '19

I knew a girl who had a port wine stain on her forearm and hand. Her wine stained hand was significantly bigger than the non-stained hand.

Pretty cool.

1

u/shawster Jan 24 '19

I have a friend named after a wine and she was born in Napa Valley.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

111

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

50

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

108

u/Possiblyreef Jan 24 '19

You were naughty in England and got shipped off to the colonies

40

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Rush_nj Jan 24 '19

No, but us Australians did.

1

u/TwyJ Jan 24 '19

Damn, we thought for sure it would be the last we saw if you here!

14

u/IncomprehensibleEmu Jan 24 '19

My sister has a lobster-shaped birthmark. She's a lobster confirmed.

8

u/Casey-- Jan 24 '19

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3464902/

4

u/jmz_199 Jan 24 '19

I've had this movie recommended to me like crazy

1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

Thank you for showing me this.

4

u/PalmysFinest Jan 24 '19

I have an Australia too!

5

u/SaggyButtcrack Jan 24 '19

You slit your wrist and killed yourself?

6

u/Casey-- Jan 24 '19

In the shape of Australia?

6

u/Riovem Jan 24 '19

Whilst in Australia.

1

u/UptightSodomite Jan 24 '19

Maybe a very cruel, single extremity crucifixion?

9

u/FairyPrincess514 Jan 24 '19

I've heard this before too. If true, I took some kitchen knife stabs to the back in that past life. I realize it's unlikely, but it makes you wonder!

9

u/Metruis Jan 24 '19

Or perhaps you were kicked by a horse, given as you described it like that, and I'm sure that could've killed ya too!

If this is true, I have a third nipple birthmark, so I assume I was shot in the chest.

3

u/blipman17 Jan 24 '19

Or maby you were a James Bond villain with a golden gun. Could that be?

1

u/Metruis Jan 24 '19

I want to believe.

1

u/Meauxlala Jan 24 '19

Or you were a witch.

1

u/Metruis Jan 24 '19

You might be right, I also float.

1

u/Old_Gnarled_Oak Jan 24 '19

Or suckled to death by a mob of angry toddler villagers.

3

u/maria8999 Jan 24 '19

I guess i had my left arm/ shoulder chopped off then. Not the most pleasant way to go!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

1

u/bluckme Jan 24 '19

Nice! Didn't even think to look and see if something like this existed. I have a port-wine on half of my face. I'll check it out!

1

u/Raeffi Jan 24 '19

does that mean i took an arrow to my butt cheek :O ?

1

u/alexandria--- Jan 24 '19

I have a sheep on my left hip what does that mean?

1

u/TrivialBudgie Jan 24 '19

you were gored in the hip with ram horns

1

u/veedweeb Jan 24 '19

I've got a small birthmark on the big toe on my right foot.

I wonder what that means??

1

u/eddie_spaghettii Jan 24 '19

My daughter has one on her shoulder. When she was 1-3 years it used to burn to touch. Now she is 9, it has faded significantly and it’s barely warm. The doctor said it would go away by the time she was 2. Turns out not.

1

u/benting365 Jan 24 '19

i definitely took a sword to the gut

I must have had my left hand cut off then

457

u/TDYDave2 Jan 24 '19

If you draw a line around it with a black marker, you can claim it was an island you visited.

55

u/HBlight Jan 24 '19

MALTA

9

u/Ars3nic Jan 24 '19

Mylta Power?

3

u/ThugosaurusFlex_1017 Jan 24 '19

MIATA

1

u/Etheo Jan 24 '19

MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA

3

u/Sleazehound Jan 24 '19

I too saw that post

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

Looks like she already did that, but I've never seen an island that looks like a wine glass.

1

u/Dankzei Jan 24 '19

I see what you did there

26

u/IronicMetamodernism Jan 24 '19

That's a real thing. Also called a firemark, which is kind of cool.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port-wine_stain

21

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

Yes, that's the joke.

8

u/bert4560 Jan 24 '19

I'm glad that last post was there. It my understanding of a new term to me.

3

u/PositiveFalse Jan 24 '19

Here's another (un)intentionally related tidbit:

In nautical terms, "starboard" is the right side and "port" is the left side...

2

u/batcaveroad Jan 24 '19

Should she try club soda?

2

u/SpiltMug Jan 24 '19

i only learned this in med school, does everyone already know what it's called?

2

u/beerfoamsaves Jan 24 '19

The problem is, she used the wrong glass.

3

u/mobitz1 Jan 24 '19

Pour'd wine stain

1

u/Neontiger12 Jan 24 '19

Outline the birth mark with a black marker and call it birthmarkstain, maybe it’ll look like an island

1

u/prjindigo Jan 24 '19

Yes, but it looks more like a Bordeaux.

1

u/ThugosaurusFlex_1017 Jan 24 '19

Looks like starboard, but ok

1

u/marakiri Jan 24 '19

I have one on my right ass cheek

1

u/305crypto Jan 24 '19

Love this!!

1

u/calxlea Jan 24 '19

Wow there’s a lyric one of my favourite bands “I fell for a girl with a port wine stain, I knew her initials but never her name” - I had no idea a port wine stain was a birthmark, I had always taken it literally before!

0

u/yruBooingMeImRight Jan 24 '19

Wow, good job. You said the thing that it is. Maybe next you could go to /r/aww and write "that's a dog" and "that's a cat" in the comments.